#don't take me too seriously I'm just a girl reeling in the just-finished-reading glow

[totisviribus]

Final update: finished the book. What in the fresh hell is this mess, Donna? Wrinkling my fourred on this Thurzdee.

Please no one tell Colleen Hoover about the existence of the first name Cloke.

My disjointed, off-the-cuff, spoiler-filled thoughts about The Secret History (I am both distressed and fascinated by Donna Tartt's mind):

Little Bitch Henry (capital L, capital B, capital H)

The whole book I was like damn they should've pushed Little Bitch Henry off the ledge and then he said "don't worry I'll see myself out." There's nothing more anticlimactic than an unjustified martyr, and I mean that with respect to this twist that I really didn't see coming.

Julian (who I picture as that meme of the little girl grinning in front of a house fire)

I genuinely thought this was going to be a situation where Julian was the one more overtly manipulating the students into doing the satan worshipping, but instead it was more of a subtle approval and interest? Perhaps his character is meant to be mysterious and distant but the potential sharpness of his personality was so carefully set but ultimately felt underutilized. Like what a twist it would have been for everyone see Henry as this mature, cerebral, respected, father-figure type of the group and follow him into the dark, only for them to find out that he has been so easily misguided and persuaded by Julian, whom he was having a romantic/sexual relationship? Their leader is wholly under the influence of a worse, unhinged leader and they must scramble to undo everything they've done, but it's too late? While my imagination may spin this alternative, it is possible that I'm just not grasping the true nature of the influence on the group by Julian or philosophy in general, for that matter.

Not the Incest!

Nearly every single one of my predictions of romantic/sexual relationships was wrong: I was convinced that it would end with Henry and Francis having been together the whole time and Richard realizing he's bisexual after the advances from Francis. I then thought that Richard would be conflicted over liking both of the twins, only for Camilla to reject him and for him to go to Charles as a second choice, then Charles realizing he's second choice and getting pissed and trying to pin Bunny's murder on Richard, then Henry would find out that Francis made passes at Richard and also go on the war path against him, teaming up with Charles. Did I just make that entire alternative plot line up in my mind? Maybe, but it's better than the TWINS HAVING BEEN FUCKING THE WHOLE TIME.

Judy Poovey is to Richard Papen what Clarence Odbody is to George Bailey (?)

I wish the epilogue was Judy Poovey becoming a gossipy, overpriced and under talented hairdresser who smacks her gum when she tells all her clients about "this crazy guy I knew in college, yeah, there was this rumor that he was a murderer, yeah, so crazy. We were good friends though, I gave him a jacket and we did coke and ran errands once. So just the chunky highlights today?"

Charles seems like the kind of guy who would give a homeless man a pie in a graveyard on Christmas Eve, no?

I would have enjoyed a little more understanding as to why the group dresses the way that they do and why they're all into antiques and analog technology. I understand it may be Julian's influence, but it's the 1980's and they all act like they're in a Charles Dickens novel as far as dress and activities. The aesthetic is immaculate, sure, but is it all that charming when there's no real reason for it based in the world of the book?

Frigid Februaries

As someone who grew up in neighboring New Hampshire dreaming of the warm, wide expanse of California I found it so funny to hear Vermont described as the preferable option. I was thinking, Donna Tartt is from the south, her picturesque view of Vermont feels so surface level and must be so if she thinks it's all ivy-covered brick buildings and dusty, quaint book stores. And then I got to the part where Richard nearly freezes to death and realized oh yes, she's definitely spent a February in New England. I also got overly excited when there was a single mention of a New Hampshire city near the Vermont border, Keene.

But what if Bunny wasn't a homophobic racist incel?

I don't typically enjoy books in first person, but at first I was really fascinated to find that I found Richard's narration very unobtrusive and flowing well with the story. The problem was that he became the least interesting character and his perspective of being manipulated by the group started to limit the intrigue. I almost wonder, pending Bunny's character being made a bit more tolerable and morally grey instead of just downright offensive and unlikeable, that he would have been a better narrator from beyond the grave. Like the victim watching Richard be manipulated by Henry and then ultimately framed for his murder. Like the injustice of someone innocent being hurt by Henry in a different way compels him to tell his story as a sort of ghost.

Can you tell I've had 2 cups of coffee in the last 30 minutes?

I just realized all of these "thoughts" are alternative plot lines I would have enjoyed better than the last 300 pages being snow, stress, alcohol, who's having sex????, and Richard revealing with benign superiority that he feels nothing at having helped murder someone. Constructive? No. An enjoyable practice of imagination? Yes.

Tell me again about the ferns, Donna

Donna Tartt is a literary genius but I don't think I enjoy the general tone and pacing of her plots, just as a personal preference. The Goldfinch was an excruciating read because, like The Secret History, she captivates with her description and the absolutely beautiful way she writes and distills feelings and ideas, but that hold becomes more laborious and uncomfortable as the books drone on and meander too slowly. I want to keep soaking up every word of this prose but near the end of both books I was desperate for this prose to lead me someone else, anywhere else. Though I will inevitably pick up her next book and go through the process all over again just to read her description of the changing seasons.

P.S. I would also read a book about Julian having an affair with that cunty French professor. Just saying, Donna.

My new personality is the way Donna Tartt says Thursday like “thurzdee” in the Secret History audiobook.