#don't mess with john

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Ember: We have your friend, John

Arlo: You kidnapped John? As in John Doe, son of William and Jane?

Ember: Yes, so if you want him safe hand over-

Arlo: You don't have him. He has you. Good luck with that. And we're not friends *hangs up*

[theboyskisser]

Y'know he had to do it to em

[ghostlysoaps]

Soap who goes out to the pub with the lads, fellow soldiers who wheedle and jab and egg each other on. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when they caught on to his one-sided staring contest with a man sitting on his lonesome, black face mask on with a glass of something amber between his hands, observing the chaos around him. He’d met Soap’s eyes once and well… he’s always been a sucker for a pretty pair, especially with the unspoken challenge being presented as he’d lifted his brows with a flat stare. So, when his friends push at his shoulders and hedges him to approach the man, Soap only puts up a token protest.

“What do you want?”

And Soap’s off rambling. He’s never been good at acting suave or mysterious. Put him in front of someone attractive he wouldn’t mind a sliver of attention from and Soap turns into a babbling mess. At least the guy looks amused by it, gaze flickering from Soap to the table he’d vacated a while back. Soap knows he’s blowing his shot with every damn word he speaks but he can’t help himself. Silence would somehow be worse on his fraying nerves.

“You need better friends,” the man, Simon he learns later, says once the topic of how he’d ended up here had come and gone.

Soap nods his head in miserable agreement. “Aye. ‘m sorry for takin’ up so much of yer time. I can buy ye a drink to make up fer it? The waitress will bring it out so ye won’t have to stare at my ugly mug no more.”

He tries to rise, fully intent on flagging down one of the waitstaff when Simon’s hand circles around his wrist.

“Or we can give ‘em something proper to gossip about.”

Soap’s dragged, wide-eyed and disbelieving and to the tune of wolf whistles from his supposed allies, through the front door. Simon might be laughing, his eyes certainly are and Soap goes along with him like a trained dog on a leash all for the chance of seeing them light up like that again.

They wander. Weaving through streets and alleys and around town squares. Soap talks and Simon listens and all-in-all it’s a pleasant evening. He’s got a new friend out of it, a number on a paper slip and the satisfaction of saying: “a lad doesn’t kiss an’ tell,” when Wright tries to prod him for information over their shitty, mess hall breakfast.

[georgeharrisonsmiling]

Only a Northern Song

[cutetanuki-chan]

and what if Harrow channeling some of Alecto's powers aka avulsion trial, to reconstruct Gideon's body

but it fucks her up real bad, she probably threw up three times on Gideon's uniform, her body part singes or falling off, it's a mess

[krystalklear21]

New promo art dropped

[shadow0-1]

6 Fanarts

[natelia-aldelliz]

more ghost!Roach with accidental necromancer Soap, their first interaction !

(please ignore the fact that i can't draw the same character twice lmao)

[ahopefulbromantic]

Hey Malevolent fandom all of y'all are sleeping on this John-gets-a-body scenario:

(Kayne's voice) "Okay so let's say our Golden Boy here gets a nice body, you get a second chance, and everybody's happy! How's that, Artichoke?"

Arthur: Say Dada!

baby John: ORTHUR!

Oscar: Is this... Your child Arthur?...

Arthur: I... I found him. And adopted him. Idk who his parents are.

Oscar: Awww...! God bless this man!

Arthur: I mean he might be mine for all I know (That would be so f***ed up though...)

[animasolascreenshots]

[phoenix-and-found-family]

Reginald: Why are you covered in blood?!?

Agent Phoenix: Someone was talking shit about you.

Reginald: ...So you-

Agent Phoenix: I fist fought them in a Wendy's parking lot.

Reginald: *looking at Prism and John, who are also covered in blood* ...and you...

Prism: We helped.

John: We regret nothing.

[simplysnaps]

John Carpenter's "The Twink" 1982

[miitopiaenjoyer]

I feel like Chat would be the type to say some pretty wild stuff when startled. Depending on the situation, I bet they'd either A) yell out the first random message that comes to their hivemind brain, B) yell out all of the messages at once in a horrible, indecipherable stream of gibberish, or C) mash together parts of a bunch of different messages to form a completely new sentence that no one actually said in the first place. I'm sure option C usually just results in absolute nonsense, but on the rare occasions that it doesn't, I bet it's REALLY funny, which is what made me draw this comic, lmao. Poor Magical John probably scares them most often, and has to deal with this regularly without any context.

Transcript under the cut! I know the chat messages are a bit hard to read since I wrote them so small, not to mention all of Magical John's extra letters, so not the best for readability, haha. In hindsight, probably should've used two pages for this comic... Anyway, enjoy! :)

[TRANSCRIPT:]

PANEL ONE:

Magical John: Hey, Chat-

Chat: (STARTLE!)

PANEL TWO:

Chat's internal monologue of messages appears, with some words underlined in purple (marked in this transcript with purple text):

Message 1: WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL HIM

Message 2: WHY did he do that I'm going to SCREAM

Message 3: I have to go die of a heart attack now brb

Message 4: So hungry... Dad plz let us eat :FEED:

Message 5: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME SKJHJKL

Message 6: WHY NOW YOU BASTARD

Chat: (Slow turn~)

PANEL THREE:

Chat, repeating the underlined words: We're going to eat you now.

PANEL FOUR:

Magical John: ... Huh?

[lulublack90]

Prompt 9 - Sprint

@wolfstarmicrofic August 9, word count 611

Previous part First Jegulus part

They fell into a steady routine at the café. Sirius and Remus always arrived at the same time. They prepped for the day ahead. They served their customers with a smile. Tidied up, ready for the next day and left at the same time each evening. They’d stayed late a few times when they first opened, but they’d both decided that they’d rather leave a bit of mess that they could clear away in the morning than reduce their hours away from the café. This worked out best for them both.  

So far, they hadn’t had any trouble with their customers, until one Wednesday morning when a grumpy-looking man stormed into the café and strode right up to Sirius, getting in his face. Remus turned away from the customer he was serving and put his hands on the counter, ready to hop over it if he needed to come to Sirius’s aid. 

“Can I help you?” Sirius asked, trying his hardest to keep his customer service voice even. 

“YOUR BLOODY COFFEE KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT!!! I MISSED MY EXAM BECAUSE OF IT!!!” The man yelled in his face, little specks of spit showered Sirius’s face. Sirius took a step back and used his sleeve to very obviously wipe his face. 

“Sir, we are very open about the fact that the wolf’s brew coffee will keep you awake. It is strong, and we have a disclaimer on the board and on the counter where you order.”

“IT'S STILL YOUR FAULT I MISSED MY EXAM!!!” The man screamed in Sirius’s face again, prodding a finger into Sirius’s chest with each word. Sirius’s left eye began to twitch. His mother used to do that to him when she was shouting at him. It was like his mind shut off and someone else took over. One moment he was calm and the next he saw red.

“I DON’T SEE WHY IT’S MY PROBLEM IF YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO READ SOMETHING THAT IS POSTED ALL OVER THE SHOP AND REMUS WILL HAVE TOLD YOU WHEN YOU WERE ORDERING!!! IF YOU HAD SUCH AN IMPORTANT EXAM YOU SHOULD HAVE ORDERED A HOT CHOCOLATE!!! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAFÉ YOU IGNORANT SWINE!!!” Sirius stepped forward menacingly and the man hurriedly stepped back. 

“I-I-I’m never coming here again, and I’ll tell all my friends not to come here,” He stuttered as he backed towards the door. 

“GOOD, YOU’RE BARRED AND IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE ANYTHING LIKE YOU WE DON’T WANT THEM HERE ANY WAY! NOW SLING YOUR HOOK!” Sirius was still shouting. The man turned tail and took off at a sprint to get away from the nutter in the apron. 

“Well, that could have gone better,” Remus sighed from behind his counter. His knuckles were white where he’d gripped the wooden counter edge too tight during the argument. Sirius blinked a few times as he came back to himself.

“We don’t want idiots like that in here. Better that he knows not to come back,” Sirius jutted his chin out and went to take more food orders as though nothing had happened. He walked up to a man typing on his phone. It had a grey rat on the back cover. Sirius didn’t think more of it than it was an odd choice. “Sorry about the wait, what can I get you?” He asked politely. 

“Oh, just a cheese toastie and a caramel macchiato, thanks,” The plump man said with a smile. 

“Coming right up,” Sirius smiled back and took the drink order over to Remus before he continued into the kitchen to get the man with the rat phone case his cheese toastie.

Next part

[aloe-plant-yippee]

this is how i feel when i talk about sherlock and co (i know the whole intro off by heart)

inspo/ref under cut

[lokijiro]

So why did Mycroft send Sherlock and John to take Irene's phone? It was bound to be protected by a passcode, so there wouldn't be much point in having it. And once Irene becomes a fugitive, Mycroft makes no attempts to retrieve the phone again despite knowing where she is.

One possible explanation is that Mycroft really did think that this was about nothing more than the scandalous photographs of a royal family member at the beginning. He only realized how dangerous Irene was when he learned what happened at her house and learned that the CIA agents were after her too.

Another possible theory is that Mycroft knew the CIA agents would go after Irene, so he sent Sherlock and John as quickly as he could because he didn't want the phone to be in the hands of those agents. Working with them for the Bond Air project made him see how awful they were; he couldn't let them have any more power than necessary, and they were clearly moronic brutes who would make a botch of the situation. Unfortunately, Mycroft miscalculated and the CIA agents arrived at Irene's house while Sherlock and John were still there.

In either case, Mycroft must have despised the American agents, and the feeling must have been mutual by the end. That CIA guy Sherlock threw out his window must have complained, but Mycroft could very easily ignore his grievances by using the fact that he had hurt an old civilian lady. CIA guy would have been enraged. . . and then, Sherlock became the biggest security leak of two nations. I'm sure CIA guy enthusiastically demanded his head, but Mycroft Holmes somehow still managed to protect his little brother. How infuriating that must have been.