#don't let it.. they'll come to your wedding and try to convince you to leave because he hates the groom

[warmsol]

do his sad puppy dog eyes fool you? (they hope so)

[creepydixon]

Hello! I saw that you write dark Daryl and we’re taking requests and I absolutely couldn’t resist sending one in😩😩

What about Daryl with a wife reader? He was infatuated with her even before the walkers and when they finally got together he was on cloud nine. But then the world goes to shit and he becomes obsessed, if that was even possible. At the quarry, the Dixon’s kept to themselves anyway, no need for her to interact with the other survivors in the camp. On the farm? He’s hovering behind her as she does chores, insists on being in the same guard shift as her (she def gets some breathing room when he’s out looking for Sophia tho)

In the prison? Seeing her locked up in a cage gives him ideas, she should just stay with him forever. He’s almost grateful for the end of the world, he’s able to get away with so much more shit and she can’t leave. Where would she go? The group is inseparable, and so getting Daryl away from his wife is next to impossible

Anyway, something like that. Sorry if it’s too long and if it’s not something you’re interested in doing it’s no problem! Thank you for your time! ☺️☺️

I like your mind anon 🤍 I have a hard time with "wife" and "husband" readers, dunno why but I just happen to not be a big fan of marriage. but for you anon, I'll try.

Dark!Daryl unnatural obsession with his wife

warning: stalking, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, prisoning, twisted love I guess, in a zombie apocalypse all rules are gone

• It took Daryl such a long time to just convince you to go on a date with him before the outbreak happened. He dressed up in the nicest clothes he could find, took you to the nicest (it was a fast dinner) restaurant, and generally tried in his best way to show his best side to you.

• What you don't know though is that he had already had his eyes on you from the first moment he saw you. He started to take simple notes about where you worked, what walks you used to do, and where you lived. All of those things are wrong but he was pretty good at hiding and not getting caught.

• So when the big day came when he proposed to you and you said yes, it was like he was walking on clouds. After all those nights outside your window and watching you, all those days he took his chances to "bump" into you, all of it was worth it. You two were getting married and you would take his last name.

• The big wedding day didn't happen though. The outbreak happened just one month before you two would get together. Daryl brought you along with him and his brother Merle. Daryl told you to stay close to him, now with such a dangerous disease, it is better if you stay close to him so he can keep you safe.

• But you wanted to be close to Atlanta. Maybe the disease would die out soon and maybe you can keep yourself close to the town. That's where you met other survivors that had started to camp outside of Atlanta.

• Daryl hated it though. These were strangers. Who knew what crazy shit people will do during an apocalypse? They could snap in their head and try to hurt you. Or get you killed.

• "Why should we talk with 'em?" Daryl had asked you one night. "Why should we trust 'em? Just because they seem nice now, doesn't mean they need to be nice later."

• Which proved his point. A man and a widow screw around in the forest like animals, and then suddenly the new sheriff in the camp chained up his brother Merle on the roof.

• "You see?" Daryl was sobbing out to you in anger. "They took Merle from me. Do you have any idea what they could do to ya? First, they take Merle, soon they'll either chain you or me on a roof to let us rot. We can't trust these people."

• After that, it didn't turn much better. He was literally next to you, walked wherever you were walking, never leaving your side. Suddenly it wasn't just Daryl who was hunting for food, you had to come along too so he knew you were in good hands.

• After the horrific events at a scientist bomb office (at least you two had a nice shower together), the group finally arrives at a farm. Well, except for losing Sophia on the road.

• You had cried, you cried with Carol that Sophia was missing. Daryl couldn't stand that a child got lost. Shit, what if it were your child missing? Now, you two hadn't discussed a lot about children, but Daryl knows if you two get children he would protect them with his life.

• When Daryl was gone most of the days, you got some space. When you stood on the porch on the farm you couldn't help but feel a bit. . . revealed? It is horrible to say it, you would never say it out loud, but it was good that Sophia disappeared. It gave you time to actually talk with the others for the first time. You got some space. You got to have your own time.

• "They aren't that bad actually," you spoke softly to Daryl. Daryl glanced over at you, he lay in the bed and had got shot by Andrea. "I hope you're kidding," Daryl grumbled. "None of these people are looking for Sophia. I am the only one who does it, even her own mother isn't looking for her. None of them is trusting each other, Lori is sleeping with two guys. Andrea shot me."

• You couldn't argue against that. It made you feel sorry for him and you saw what a big heart he has.

• But then he stopped looking for Sophia, to rest himself. But he didn't rest, oh no, this was his time to walk around and see what is actually happening on the farm with you. He didn't leave you for one second. Glaring a bit at everyone who stepped a bit closer to you two.

• "Let them talk with us for one second," you whispered to Daryl. "So olive oyl can complain about having two boyfriends? Or that Andrea is proud of a girl to cut herself? I love ya, ya got a big heart for everyone, but they aren't good for you. They're selfish town girls."

• You couldn't argue against that.

• And the farm life didn't last forever. As the barn burned up, the herd came to the farm, you had to escape. As Daryl had you on the motorcycle, he had this big encouragement to drive you two far away. But you had said you two needed to find the others. He couldn't say no to you. Not yet at least.

• Maybe his mind snapped a bit when you two were at the prison. You had jokingly stepped into a cell and closed the door behind you. Grinning at Daryl in a joking way "Never did I think we would spend time together behind locked bars."

• He had barely heard you. Barley thought clearly. But when he saw you like that. Saw you behind bars, something sweet twisted in his mind, something that gave him a pleasure to see you locked up.

• The other ones in the group didn't dare to walk near you now. Always you were near your husband Daryl who would look at them with a twisted eye, a small glare. They understood you two wanted to be alone.

• But you didn't want to be alone with your husband. He had started to give small hints that perhaps this group is more broken than ever, perhaps it is time for you two to leave. But you didn't want that.

• Daryl doesn't sleep one night as he looks at you while you're sleeping. He remembers the old days before the breakout. How he watched you through your window, how he followed you through the park so you could "bump" into him. How he followed you to the work. All of that stuff was wrong. . . in the old world.

• Daryl blinks a couple of times and looks around in the cell you two were in. If you were locked up. . . no one would get you. And he could take care of you. Make sure no one ever gets close to you. Oh, how he hated some of your old friends, especially some of the men who were your friends. Too close to you in his opinion. But, it is new times. In the old world it would be seen as wrong, but in this new world? Well, who would stop him?

• He slowly gets up from the bed you're sharing. He walks out of the cell and quietly closes it. And then he stands there for a good while. Admiring how you are in a cage. His cage. There no one was allowed into, except him.

• His eyes twist a little bit when he watches you sleep inside the cell. He knows if he had done this in bright daylight, you would ask for help from the others. Oh, he has to be clever now. He has to take you away from here. He has to find his own little cage where no one has an impact on you, except him.

• So that day, that day when the Governor comes to the prison and blows it up and everyone got split, he couldn't be more grateful. He grabbed you and ran.

• Because now he had his chance to actually be with his wife alone, forever.

[trashiesttrashboy]

I'm convinced the radiant radiant sisters wouldn't get anywhere near as much hate if they were men. Like ondolemar gets so much love even though he's a literal NAZI ELF! He can get away with that, but god forbid a woman is slightly rude to you. Taarie especially deserves more love she even tells you that she's trying to be nice and genuinely doesn't seem to realise that what she said could come across as rude (I'm convinced she's autistic). Like yeah her sister is genuinely being rude to you and other customers but she still doesn't deserve all the hate for it. I could understand her being one of those characters that everyone jokes about being one of the most annoying people in Skyrim, but people just genuinely hate her.

Camilla Valerius often gets called a whore because two other men like her. She doesn't even seem to reciprocate their feelings, and in Faendal's case she doesn't even seem like she's aware he likes her romantically! Please just leave the poor girl alone! I downloaded a mod that gives each NPC more to talk about to make conversations more interesting, but it just makes her out to be a whore like NO SHES NOT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HER LIKE I DO SHE ISNT A WHORE! LEAVE THAT POOR GIRL ALONE!

Elisif definitely suffers from the fandom's mysogyny. People think she's incompetent, and use her inexperience as an excuse for that. But you don't see people calling Siddgeir incompetent, do you? Sure I've seen people call him an arrogant cunt (which he is) but never have I seen anyone call him incompetent. Another excuse people use is that she 'lets her court tell her what to do'. You mean she asks them for advice? Because her court are also literally her advisors? ISNT LISTENING TO YOUR ADVISORS SOMETHING THAT A GOOD AND COMPETENT LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO DO??? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT SHE IS DOING THINGS THAT A COMPETENT LEADER DOES??? AND THAT SOMEHOW MAKES HER INCOMPETENT??? People do also say that the empire is taking advantage of her, which I do agree with to a certain degree, however she is also in a tricky situation and it seems like she's doing the absolute best she can. Bare in mind she is young, has been thrust into a position of power that she probably wasn't even prepared for, may be forced into an even more powerful position that she probably doesn't even want, and is still mourning her husband! She has a fucking lot on her plate already without having to worry about the civil war and looking after her people. I think she's doing an excellent job! She genuinely cares about her people and does what she thinks is best for them, regardless of wether or not she benefits from it. Also she is the only Jarl to stay in power no matter what side wins the civil war. Absolute girlboss.

Extra note on Elisif, in my first playthrough I royally fucked up that dark brotherhood wedding contract and ended up in jail. When I got let out Elisif was fistfighting the guards (who were still hostile) to defend me. If it weren't for her I wouldn't have been able to leave the city without reloading an earlier save and redoing the quest. All because I was her friend. In other words, SHE IS AN INCREDIBLY LOYAL FRIEND! I COULD ASK FOR HER HELP HIDING A BODY AND SHED SHOW UP AT MY DOORSTEP IN UNDER FIVE MINUTES WITH SHOVELS!

These are three examples of women in Skyrim who suffer from mysogyny. There are plenty more but these three always come to mind first for me.

The hate for Delphine is deserved. She is literally the most useless cow in the game. Even a crippled beggar is more useful than her, at least they'll give me the gift of charity. Delphine can't even do the one job she LITERALLY VOWED TO DO! She took a fucking VOW AND STILL WONT DO IT! The only reason esbern doesn't get the same amount of hate is because he takes you to alduin's wall and tells you what it says, but his usefulness ends there.

Delphine is also kind of stupid. She calls you a fool for showing up even if you don't trust her, when she was the one who invited you not only into her home but INTO HER SECRET FUCKING HIDEOUT WHILE NOT TRUSTING YOU! DELPHINE, YOU ARE THE FUCKING FOOL HERE! If she didn't trust you she could have asked to meet in a different location that doesn't give away her secret base, maybe even with some mercenaries or just any help really to give her that extra edge if it turned out she was right to not trust you, but she doesn't do that because she's an idiot.

what do you MEAN people think people only hate delphine bc she's a woman. did you play the game. did you interact with her. come on now.

[i-cant-sing]

Baby reader Todoroki announcing to the family that she has a boyfriend, his in the same daycare ad her, his name is Katsuki and she's gonna marry him.

No, cause I'm seeing baby Todoroki coming home from school, holding hands with Katsuki, telling her family to gather up because she has something important to tell them. She puffs up her chest and announces loudly and proudly, that Katsuki is her boyfriend (that she just made a couple of hours ago) and he gave her a box of pocky and a hello kitty stuffie, which equals to a diamond ring in your mind, so now you're gonna get married to him in a small ceremony at school tomorrow morning.

Shotou is laying on the floor in the corner, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to process the thought that you're gonna leave him.

Fuyumi is telling Katsuki that she's gonna move in with them when they're married because ain't no way in hell is she gonna let you leave without her.

Natsuo is trying very hard to convince you to not get married because you'll get cooties and then you'll be sick for the rest of your life.

Dabi is threatening that they'll break every single bone in Katsuki's body and then feed him to the dogs.

Rei is chuckling and saying that she'll come to your "wedding" but only if she gets to do your hair, your makeup, your dress, cater the food, decide the seating arrangement, and everything else on your special day.

Enji is just sitting there with glazed eyes as he tries to process that he's gonna have to walk you down the aisle one day for real and then you're not gonna be around him anymore. Basically the whole mental breakdown I've mentioned in this post.

So when you come up to him and look at him with big doe eyes, asking if he'll walk her down the aisle, Enji looks at her and nods.

"Okay, but you can only get married if you can answer my question."

"Okay!"

"Ready?" You nod. "What's 17 plus 8?"

You start counting you fingers, but then realise you only have 10 fingers. You furrow your eyebrows, trying to come up with an answer.

"...A lot?"

Enji chuckles. "That's not the answer, princess." You pout and cross your arms, and Enji picks you up and kisses your cheek. "I'm sorry honey, but you can't get married. Maths is very important for a... healthy marriage."

"Okay." You're so busy being consoled by Enji, you don't even notice Dabi holding a struggling Katsuki, covering his mouth so that he can't shout the answer to you.

[anditvanisheslikemist]

Oct. 6: Warm Fireplace

From @oh-no-my-hand-slipped's list of prompts. Hindsight 'verse (AO3). Jamie/Izzy & Nico. Read it on AO3 or below. List of all of my October prompt fills.

huh… ETCHoo! eh'huh. hhh… t'SCHiu!

Nico sniffs, and rubs his eyes, and swipes at his nose with his handkerchief, and immediately gears up to repeat the process again.

"Nic," Matty says over the sound of his next itchy-sounding HET'choo!

"'m okay." Nico scrubs at his eyes again, but doesn't come away from the fire.

"Yeah, you sound okay." Matty bites his lip. "Listen, I'll call the host. They've already apologized like 10 times for the heating being out. They're going to refund us either way, but they'll pay for a hotel room, too. All we have to do is take them up on the offer."

"What hotel room? You know as well as I do that everything's booked. Has been for months. Hazards of peak foliage in New England." He holds up a handkerchief-draped hand in anticipation, and ducks into it for the next hih-t'CHIU!

"We can drive back, then. Try again some other time."

"Next year?" Nico shakes his head and pinches the wetness from his nose with a dry part of his handkerchief. "We've had this planned forever. I don't want to leave. Besides. A cabin in the fall in Vermont with a fire in the fireplace? It's romantic!"

Matty sighs and comes to sit next to him on the floor. It really is warmer down here, close to the fire. "I really can't convince you?"

"You really can't." Nico coughs a little, and Matty frowns and pulls him to his side.

"If your breathing gets bad, I'm calling it."

"Deal." He brings his handkerchief back up, mouth opening slightly, and then shakes his head and lowers the cloth again. "Hand me my bag, I'll take more meds. As soon as they kick in, I'll be good."

Matty reaches behind them and just manages to grab the strap of Nico's bag and pull it close. He watches Nico go through the familiar motions: pulling out more meds; taking them with the little bottle of water he keeps inside; putting it back; pulling out another handkerchief for later. His breath is starting to hitch by the end of it, and he just barely gets his old handkerchief up in time to catch a forceful hh-ETCH'iu!

"As soon as they kick in, you're going to fall asleep," Matty points out, but it comes out fond.

"Mhmm." Nico tugs on Matty's sleeve to get him to lie down on the a nest of blankets and pillows he's got laid out in front of the fire, then pulls Matty's arm around him. "But tomorrow we'll be out looking at leaves all day, and we'll go out for meals, and I won't need the extra meds until it's bedtime anyway." He yawns, even though it's way too early for what he just took to be kicking in. Matty yawns too, an involuntary response. It has been a long week. A long month. He runs his thumb over Nico's wedding ring, and Nico pulls their joined hands to his lips to kiss Matty's in return. Another breath, and Nico turns into the crook of their paralleled arms to catch three three quick sneezes— t'CHH! CHSH! ih… TSCHU!— in the soft plaid of Matty's flannel shirt.

"Ah, that's the ulterior motive." Matty kisses the back of Nico's neck. It's warm from the fire. "Get me down here and use me as a handkerchief. I get it." He lets go of Nico's hand long enough to pull a blanket around them both, but when Nico's breath catches again, he lets the blanket drape where it will and shifts to catch Nico's sleepy hhh… ih't'SCH'iew! against his sleeve again.

Nico makes a mumbled thanks sort of sound. He's going to be snoring soon, and they're both going to be sore from sleeping on the floor, even if it's only for an hour or two.

Worth it, though. Matty kisses Nico's hair and closes his eyes as well. They'll figure the rest out in the morning.

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]

With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.

A/N:  I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes

Word Count: 6.1k

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

"Are you coming up or what?"

The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube. 

Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.

Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy. 

There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.

Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.

"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.

He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.

"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.

"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.

"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.

"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.

"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."

I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.

"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"

He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"

Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.

"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.

He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.

"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.

His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.

"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.

"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.

I really should've known better.

He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"

I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.

"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.

"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.

"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.

He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.

I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.

"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.

"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.

"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.

His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock. 

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,

"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.

"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.

"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.

"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.

"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.

"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.

"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.

"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"

"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?

"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.

I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.

"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.

"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.

"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-

"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.

"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.

"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.

'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"

"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.

I really hadn't thought this through.

——

The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.

I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.

I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.

----

I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.

"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.

"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.

"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"

"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.

"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,

"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.

"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.

"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.

"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.

"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation

"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.

As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.

Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.

I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.

----

The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.

Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.

Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.

"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.

"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."

I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.

Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.

"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"

"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.

"Are you hungry?" he asks

"Starving."

The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.

---

Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.

"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,

"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious

"Your notes?" I ask,

"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.

He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?

"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"

"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.

"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."

He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.

"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.

"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.

"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.

"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.

"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.

"I had no idea" is all he says.

"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.

Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.

When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.

"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"

I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.

"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.

"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.

"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,

"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.

"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.

"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."

"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.

"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.

I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.

"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.

"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,

"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive

"Ugh, fine, shoot"

"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"

I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.

"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"

He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"

"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.

"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.

Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?

"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.

"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.

I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.

Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.

"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.

He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.

I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.

— —

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[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 1

Summary: It was time for Fleur Swan to become Fleur Hale/Whitlock. She has started to adjust to the lifestyle of a vegetarian vampire as well as her powers, which she seems to develop a new one once in a while. But what happens when something happens that none of the Cullens are prepared for.

"Nature will get her way Though you took her for a fool Walking on the lake Frozen under you."

Run Cried the Crawling by, Anges Obel

When Bella got home from Vegas with Edward at her side it was the most pissed off my dad had ever been at her. He knew she would throw out the "I'll move away." Card on him but he wasn't fazed by it anymore. She was married, and a adult... he couldn't stop her. It was satisfying to see dad finally stand up to her, letting go of the fear of losing her. Bella eventually developed a guilty look on her face while Edward tensed by her side. She decided that she would have her honeymoon after Jasper and I got married, since dad would know we would both be out of the house. It confused me since she would have to wait 5 months just to go on her honeymoon, it also delayed her changing into a vampire. Since they both agreed to do it on there honeymoon.

Regarding me however my eyes are still a dark red rose color, which completely puzzled the Cullens. It confused me as well...knowing that after a year of transformation my eyes should be golden by now. I had never drunken an once of human blood but, my eyes were just as red as they were when I first turned. My blood lust got a lot better and I was beginning to gain control of my powers. It turns out I am also a shape shifter in a sense... I can transform myself into anyone I wanted to be. Things seemed to have calmed down it was nice to have a moment of serenity.

I stood in my room which was now void of my items being out on display. They were instead all in boxes stacked up on top of each other. Dad helped me out earlier in the day, it was nice to spend so one-on-one time with him while I still lived here. Bella was packing up too, excited to finally leave the house and become a vampire. She wouldn't let dad help her out however and spent her time locked up in her room. Probably waiting for Edward to enter and talk with her. I just sat down on my bed looking at my surroundings when I heard Jasper enter through my window.

"I was waiting for you to show up." I said grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Mmm, hello to you too." Jasper said.

"You're not going to believe who accepted my RVSP'd to the wedding..."

"Who is it?"

"My mom, her new husband is coming with her too."

"I hope they won't cause any trouble." Jasper grumbled.

"Well... the last thing I said to her was when I moved back down here when I was 15...I told her that next time I see her would be at my wedding. I then told her that she would enjoy the the open bar and her speech for me would be her barfing all over the place. So umm... be prepared for that to happen." I explained trying to hold in a laugh at the face Jasper made.

"Damn love...you're brutal sometimes."

"Thank you... that is so sweet to say!"

"You better get down to our place... Alice and Rosalie are waiting for you so they can throw you a Bachelorette party."

"Yeah... they'll probably break the house trying to get to me." I said and then began to laugh.

"Have fun darlin." Jasper said softly.

"You too, if Emmett, Edward, and Dean got you a stripper I will murder all of them."

"Don't worry about that darlin, we're merely going out to the woods to hunt bears... maybe a few mountain lions. Besides Edward won't be there anyway"

"Oh fun...wait, Edward won't be there?"

"Yeah... it seems he still holds a grudge after I called him a boy before the battle."

"Only a boy would be offended by that." I said

"I better go love you." Jasper replied and pecked my cheek.

"Love you too." I did the same thing, pecking his cheek. He left a few seconds afterward leaving me alone. I pulled on pair of boots and ran downstairs.

"I'll see you later dad, Rose and Alice are throwing me a little party."

"Alright Petal, love you."

"Love you too!"

I arrived at the Cullen's house in record time, my tracking ability had improved greatly. I zoomed up to the door and before I could open it Rosalie, Esme, Bree, and Alice stood there with excited smiles on their faces.

"The party has arrived." I said jokingly.

They all laughed and ushered me into the lounge room.

Bree had been living with us ever since the end of the battle, she struggled to conform to the diet after living off of human blood so long and she couldn't leave the house much since she was presumed dead. But Jasper has been helping her out a lot.

"I can't wait to see what you did with the venue outside... can I take a look?"

"No, you may not, Rosalie and I all agreed that you shouldn't see it until tomorrow. It'll be great with the pictures."

"Okay okay... is the dress finished?"

"Yes, now that you can see." Rosalie said, dragging me down to her room. A large vanity was set up with hundreds of makeup products. I turned around and saw my dress... it was beautiful.

(I know the dresses aren't exactly the same but just pretend the one showing off the back of the dress has sleeves haha.)

a"Oh my gosh Rose, you know my style so well."

"You're going to look beautiful tomorrow." Esme said, her gracious smile still on her face.

"Thank you guys so much... for everything."

"No problem Fleur, I can't wait for you to officially be a part of the family." Alice replied.

"So, how is everything back at home?" Rosalie said, already playing with my hair.

"It's tense...dad's pissed at Bella, Bella is pissed at dad. I still can't believe she actually eloped."

"Doesn't surprise me any... Bella's priorities have certainly changed." Alice grumbled.

"Yeah... not gonna lie though Alice they've always been like that, she just hid it from you guys pretty well."

"Yeah... I guess so." Alice said disappointment was on her face.

"Let's talk about something else...Fleur, did Jasper tell you where you two were going for your honeymoon?"

"No... he wants it to be a surprise, I can't wait to see where we're going."

"I'm sure it's going to be fun." Alice said, nudging me playfully.

"If I could blush right now, I would." I said.

Timeskip: The next day.

"Rosalie this is like we rehearsed it... smile and don't kill my mother." I reminded her.

"I'll try my best... Why does Bella have to be a bridesmaid again?" She said, brushing back my long black hair.

"Because I don't need my mother talking my ear off saying how selfish I am."

I saw Alice shake her head before going back to steaming my dress in the background.

"Fleur, Rosalie? Where are you guys?" I heard my dad call out.

"In here dad!" I called back.

"Renee get your butt up here your daughter is getting married. Get over this stupid grudge." I heard dad yell. Rosalie, Alice, and I all laughed.

"Aww, you look beautiful Petal." Dad said, smiling at me. I said Renee in the background she had a shocked look on her face.

"Thanks, Dad, you can thank Rosalie and Alice for all of this. Mom? You gonna come over? I'm not infected with anything you know."

She scoffed and walked up to me, we both gave each other fake smiles.

"Did you get plastic surgery? Your face looks... I don't know more sculpted." She said.

"No mother I just aged... the last time you saw me I was 15, I'm 20 now." I lied, everyone knew most vampires' facial features perfected when fully changed. But I couldn't exactly tell her that.

"Okay..." She said in a skeptical voice. I heard Rosalie growl behind me.

"Renee knock it off." Dad said he had a curt look on his face.

"Well since it's your wedding day we thought you needed something blue." Renee started, her face didn't look too happy.

"And something old, besides your mother." Dad joked, Rosalie and Alice let out a chuckle.

"Nice Charlie," Renee said rolling her eyes.

Dad then opened a jewelry box that had a hairpiece in it. I knew it was grandma swans.

"It was Grandma Swans, I added the Sapphires though, I thought it matched your ring pretty well. When the time comes around you can give it to your daughter." Dad said he handed it to Rosalie so she could put it in my hair.

"Aww thank you so much dad." I said I was lucky I didn't have my dress on yet so I could hug him.

"Should've saved this for Bella." Renee grumbled quitely.

"Oh no I forgot her veil, Rose could you come with me?" Alice asked.

Rosalie hesitated before answering.

"Sure..." They walked out a few seconds later.

"So... you stuck true to your guns. I didn't see you until your wedding day." Dad just looked at the two of us and walked out.

"Yep."

"How many men did you date before you got engaged to this one. I know how bored you can get." Renee said, implying I sleep around a lot.

"He's the first and only man I've dated." Renee's reflection was shocked in the mirror.

"Well... I knew my Bella would do that but... not, you." She said in a condescending voice.

"You have no idea what Bella has done."

"So who is he?" Renee said, ignoring my previous statement.

"His name is Jasper and he's an amazing, kind human being." I answered back, pride-filled my voice. I could suddenly feel Bella's presence behind the wall in the other room listening in on us.

"Sure... we all know women like you say that when the men have slept with you."

"You're childish insults do not bother me anymore mother."

"What childish insults? I'm stating facts." Renee said, acting innocent.

"Yeah, facts you convinced yourself are true."

"All I know is if my Bella wouldn't gotten married so young. So let's cut to the chase how far along are you?"

'I'm not pregnant Renee, I need to go help Rose and Alice find that veil." I got up to walk away when I got an idea.

"Oh by the way, Bella got married at nineteen in Vegas."

Renee just stood there in shock. I smiled in satisfaction.

"Enjoy the open bar!"

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 10 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.7K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

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Monsters Lurking In The Dark

Yesterday's happenings are making a lot of people talk to you today. They ask if you're alright, if you had to go to the hospital, why Billy ran like a lightning bolt to reach you... Some of them are actually being kind. Others, not so much. It feels like they're trying to get you to say something else, scavenging for a secret. Jason is the only one to actually get into a long conversation, making sure you're alright and giving you tips to avoid heat exhaustion again. But the others, mostly the girls, make awkward questions. You get that Billy's behavior is changing. Monica is often telling you about how some girls ask her if she knows what's going on between you and Billy. She never answers though, saying this isn't their business.

As you pace around the pool, a bottle of water on your hand since Billy is literally forcing you to drink water by the hour, you spot him chatting with some of his friends. Tommy and Carol are the only ones you can name, and you never got why you only hang out with your friends and not his. Billy has his eyes on the pools and the whistle between his lips. Tommy goes on about something, and suddenly, Billy lets the whistle fall, giving Tommy a weird stare. You giggle a little at his expression, crossing your arms.

“Look who's staring now,” Monica says in a provoking tone, stopping by your side. “But I totally get it. I'd be shamelessly staring too if I didn't have my sweetheart.”

“How's Christopher by the way?” She told you he had an accident in the garden, which got him a nasty cut on the leg.

“Complaining. But I'm enjoying taking care of him.” She smiles, and her eyes shine. Every passing day you're more convinced they're in love with each other. That you'll be attempting to their wedding one day. “What about you? You gotta be careful with the sun.”

“I am.” Raising your hand, you show her the bottle. “Billy is driving me insane. I swear I can't drink any more water today.”

“Can you blame him? I thought he'd have a heart attack yesterday.” He tilts her head to where he is, across the pools. His eyes meet yours and he winks. “Poor guy, he has it bad for you.”

Giggling, you look down because you're surely blushing. “Oh, tell me something. Some people came to talk to me, you know. Asking if I was alright. But some of them made some very awkward questions.”

“Yeah, that's because they think you're pregnant.”

Your eyes go wide, and you gasp, feeling your whole body numb for a moment. “What the hell,” you exclaim, a little too loud. Looking around, you notice some eyes on you. “Holy shit, Monica. Tell me you're joking.”

“Small town, (Y/N), people talk.” She puts a hand on your shoulder. “Trust me, half the women here went through something like that. They'll let go in a few weeks.”

“Do you think Billy knows?” You lift your eyes to look for him, but you only find his friends.

“Probably. But look, don't worry about it. You're the new girl who managed to hook Billy Hargrove, the town's bad boy. People will talk, but don't let it ruin what you have with him.”

“No, of course not.” As much as it bugs you, it doesn't change anything. “You know I'm falling for him, right?” You burst out, feeling the sudden need to let it out your chest. “Completely.”

“I'm noticing. You–”

She's cut short when you're pulled into something. Someone. You roll your eyes because you know who it is. Billy pulls you against his chest, his lips on your ear. “Do you know what they're saying about yesterday's episode?” He whispers, a hand coming to caress your belly.

Great. Now this will certainly make people forget this story. “Yeah. They think I'm carrying a tiny Billy.” You mutter, waving at Monica as she walks away with a smirk on her lips. “Was that what Tommy told you? You made a funny face.”

“Yes, but he said it in a way that almost had me breaking his ugly nose.” He keeps you close, despite the public. And honestly, you don't mind. A few days ago you'd push him away, but now... They'll speak anyway, so it doesn't matter.

“Hey, why don't we never hang out with your friends?” You take the chance to ask. “You don't want them to see you with me?” It's impossible not to follow this train of thought, and it does sound stupid judging by the way he's holding you right now, for everyone to see.

“Of course not. It just that I know the kind of assholes they are and I'm sure you won't like them.”

“But it's weird. I don't want you to think I'm forcing you to only hang out with my party.”

He takes a deep breath, and you feel his chest moving. That reminds you he's shirtless... “I'll introduce you to them... In the funfair tomorrow.”

“Oh my God, the funfair!” You exclaim. People have been talking about it for a few days, but you totally forgot. “I've never been to anything like that.”

“You're gonna love it.”

“You two. Back to your chairs.” The manager shouts from somewhere behind you, and you both roll your eyes at the same time.

“Talk to you later,” you tell him, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek.

“Remember to–”

“Yeah, yeah. Water, stay in the shadow. If I feel dizzy I'll shout for my knight in shining armor.” Walking backwards, you smirk at him. “Eyes on the pool, Hargrove,” you warn him, turning around and making your way back to the chair.

You're glad you're feeling good, no sign of anything you felt yesterday. And it isn't as hot as it was, so that's a bonus. You're peacefully watching the kids, yelling at some, threatening some teenagers to ban them for life, just the normal stuff. Through the corner of your eye, you notice Billy gesturing. When you look at him, he shows you his bottle.

Shaking your head no, you try to ignore him. But you are a little thirsty, so you sigh before jumping to the ground. On your way to the cafeteria, you stop by his chair. “Want some?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

“Don't act like you can't be beaten by heat exhaustion too, Hargrove. I'm bringing you some cold water.” Punching his leg playfully, you go to the cafeteria.

You're a little startled to find James in there, seated on the table next to the wall, both hands on his head. As you silently open the fridge, you wonder if you should just leave him alone. You never really spoke, and since he switched his schedule with Billy, you have seen less of him. Today should be his day off if you're not mistaken.

“Hey, James,” you say in a soft voice, standing by the fridge as you take one of the bottles Billy has for you. “You ok?”

“Huh?” He looks up abruptly, suddenly aware he's not alone. “Hey.”

You were going to leave, but he seems scared... Red eyes as if he didn't get any sleep. “Is something wrong?” You sit before him, placing the bottle on the table. “You look... sad.”

“Oh, it's just... Nothing, really. It's stupid.” He's mumbling under his breath, a line of sweat on his forehead.

“Whatever it is it's not stupid. Who told you it was?”

“My parents, my brother.” He breathes out, his eyes suddenly meeting yours. “You're new here, right? Did you move from a big city?”

“New York. Why?”

“I'm from Washinton. Have you ever crossed paths with something in the woods? Some... Some kind of animal? And when you told someone they just said it was because you're some big city kid who's not used to live so near the forest and because of that you're easily impressed by anything weird you see?” James speaks fast, so fast it's hard to keep up.

“Actually yes.” You nod, keeping your voice low and soft in an attempt to calm him down. You never saw anyone so scared. “A few weeks ago I saw something, but I didn't get a good look at it. Don't know what it was.”

“I don't know what species of-of... Things they have here, but what I saw... I couldn't sleep. I thought about telling the chief of police but everyone keeps saying I'm crazy.”

“What did you see, James?”

He puts his hands on his head again, looking at the table. “It... It was the size of a dog. And I thought it was a stray dog so I stopped the car and followed it.” His voice cracks, so you get up, moving to sit on the chair beside him, touching his arm. “It was so damn dark and I had no flashlight. It was near a tree, eating something. I started calling it, trying to show it I was just trying to help but then... It-It turned at me and... Shit, the damn thing had no face. It was blank. Sticky... no fur, no eyes, nothing.” He moves suddenly, holding both your shoulders roughly. You gasp at the sudden change, looking at him, tears threatening to roll down from his eyes. “I ran like hell. I told my parents the moment I got home but they said it was something in the woods playing tricks on me but I know what I saw. The damn thing had no face, I swear–”

“Let go of her right now.” Billy's thunder voice makes James jump up, making his chair fall backwards. “What the hell do you think you're doing?”

“Billy, it's alright.” Quickly, you stand up and walk over him.

“I'm sorry, I just...” James tries to speak, hands raised in defeat. It looks like he didn't know what he was doing. “Sorry, (Y/N).”

He walks around the table, eyes on the floor. Billy gives a step towards him, but you hold him back, both hands on his chest. “Billy, no. Listen...” You whisper to him, your eyes meeting his when James finally leaves the cafeteria. “He wasn't trying to hurt me or anything, he was just scared.”

“Scared of what?” He looks down at you, his hands softly rubbing the skin of your shoulders. “It'll leave bruises. What the hell did he think he was doing?”

As much as you melt a little to feel his touch after the sting from James' grip, you have this feeling in your stomach. You can't seem to shake it away, and the more you think, the worse it gets. “Billy... Remember when I told you I saw something in the woods?” He nods, confused. “James saw it too... Same description. He... He said it had no face, and I... I think that's exactly what I saw.”

His expression changes, and you can't read his face. Taking a deep breath, he sits on the table, pulling you to sit beside him. “James came here a few months ago. From a big city too, so it's normal to be scared when–”

“He was desperate because that's exactly what people are telling him.” You cut him off, running a hand through your hair. “Billy, he wasn't scared. He was terrified.” Your voice gets lower, as your mind floats back to what you saw. Naked skin, as if it was green, covered in some disgusting thing... “I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to God his description matched what I saw that day.” It suddenly comes to your mind... There was a lab here. A lab and a bunch of weird stories about it. “Hawkins National Lab!” You exclaim, jumping to your feet. “What if they made an experiment with some kind of animal and now it's free in the woods?”

“Hawkins Lab was closed years ago.”

“I know but–” Billy takes your hand, pulling you close. He holds you by the hips, raising his head to meet your eyes from his seated position.

“Princess, listen. It's true there was a lab, and it's also true that the darkness and these woods play tricks on people who aren't used to them.” He speaks slow, eyes never leaving yours. “It may be something but it could also be a big misunderstanding. If it happens again, if you or anyone else sees anything like that, we'll tell the cops and let them deal with it.”

Taking a deep breath, you decide to let his calming tone relax you. “Alright...” Nodding, you take a look at your shoulders, spotting the purple marks of where James fingers dig into your skin. “The guy was really out of his mind,” you mutter.

“Yeah...” Billy stands up, placing a kiss on both your shoulders before straighten up, his index finger on your chin. “Let's go back there before Anthony notices we're gone again.”

Nodding, you follow him back outside.

• • •

You wish you knew how to draw. If you did, you'd make a scratch of the animal you saw, and another one of what James described, just to see if they would really match.

You're staring at the ceiling, on your unusually empty bed. Having Billy here was amazing. Beyond amazing. Having his strong arms around you, and waking up next to him on the morning was pure bliss. You never thought such a feeling existed. It felt like home, like life was nothing but a long road leading you to that very moment. To his embrace, so warm and calming.

You chose to think about that instead of the unclassified animal. That brings a shiver down your spine, different from the shivers Billy causes. The last ones are made of nervousness, excitement... All those silly things. Tossing around, you sit up, your feet on the cold floor. Your eyes fall on the necklace, that you always keep on the nightstand. Billy kept his promise, and he wears his piece every day. You have to tell him he doesn't have to, not anymore. He already made his point, and you know he has other earrings to use.

Smiling to yourself, you pick the necklace up, fingers caressing the metal. You need to tell Billy what you feel. Openly. You do have something going on, but it's still unnamed. And there's no reason to remain that way. If he wants you, if he truly wants to keep you... He has to know you want him too. That you want to be with him, and screw the rest of the world. Screw the past, the gossip, whatever people of Hawkins think. This is about both of you, nobody else. It's useless to keep pretending Billy Hargrove doesn't own your heart. This torture can't continue, there's no reason to.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the phone's loud ring. You're about to answer when you hear your aunt's footsteps downstairs. It's probably Robert, she was saying something about him calling her today. As she picks up, you put the necklace down and walk over the window, feeling the fresh summer breeze tickling your skin.

“(Y/N)!” Diane shouts, and her urgent tone startles you. “(Y/N)! Pick up the phone!” Her rapid footsteps bring her to your bedroom, a worried expression on her face. “Pick up now. It's Max, she's crying. I don't know–”

The mention of Billy's sister has you moving, picking up the light pink phone you have on the nightstand. “Max?” You breathe out, eyes focused on Diane as she breathes fast.

“(Y/N)..!” Her voice is weak, like a low scream. You hear voices behind her, and you immediately recognize Billy's. But there's someone else, a man's voice. “(Y/N), please, you need to–” She's cut short by something breaking. “It's Neil. He's here, please–”

“Hang up the damn–” Then it's over.

For a moment, a second, you just stand there, frozen, looking at Diane. But on the next one, you're moving, your heart threatening to beat its way out of your chest.

“Honey, what is it?” Diane follows as you rush downstairs, grabbing nothing but the car keys.

“Billy's father. I gotta go.” It's everything you manage to say before storming outside.

×

A/N: Things are about to get chaotic...

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @tilesandtokens @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @dontxfearxthereaper

[punkscowardschampions]

Libi & Bobby

Libi: When are you two going to 🎩👞🤵? Bobby: 📌📅 1 week exactly Libi: Are you going to go for the matching look or just complementary 🤔 that's the real question Bobby: 🤞 he don't want a throwback to my mini me days Bobby: cross everything Libi: But you were so cute! 😚 Libi: I doubt he's going to make you dress like anything, when the chances of getting Cass into a bridesmaid dress are less than none Bobby: cute's alright for 👶s and 🐶s Bobby: a cardboard cut out could work for both of us, me lil and Cass 👗👠 Libi: There's plenty of the former, not sure the registry office would be happy about a procession of pooches though Libi: 1. Where are you planning to be? 2. And who are you trying to impress when you get there? Spill Bobby: 🐶💍? 🤔 Bobby: probably not gonna dress you in a 👗 puffy enough for me to hide behind, are they? 💔 Libi: Sadly, I don't think we can convince them hearing-ear dogs are a thing Libi: though, maybe it is worth a 🎯 Libi: Let's 👀 into it Libi: You'll be great though, he wouldn't have picked you if he didn't know you could handle it Bobby: you could convince anyone of anything, including as a massive hint, that there's no need for me to make a speech Bobby: or hold onto valuable 💍 Libi: You make me sound like some kind of evil mastermind, flattering or worrying? Libi: I don't think there's going to be any meringue dresses or big 😭/😂 speeches Libi: and you've met my grandma, and my granddad, for that matter Libi: if there's any 💬 to be had, they'll almost certainly take charge Libi: If you wanted to say something about Jimmy though, we could work on it together and I could do it for you on the day, I don't mind, of course Bobby: less 😈 more like 😎💭😏👏 Bobby: you sure you're not gonna have your hands full filming it? Bobby: bit rude to give you a full plate unless it's got wedding cake on it Libi: I'll take that, thank you 🙇🌹 Libi: I can manage, I don't think I'm going to have many, if any, stereotypical bridesmaid duties Libi: though, we COULD record it beforehand and give it to him as a present Libi: as he's just as likely to be 😳 receiving a speech as you are giving one Bobby: 🎬🌹 Bobby: if it means I can have more than the one go at it, I'll take the closeup Bobby: risk of 😳 and all Libi: You can trust me Libi: Going to threaten to make Cass too 🤪 Libi: he'll 💘 it, I'm sure Libi: what I'm less sure of is if I should put together the 📼 I have 🔮💭 for Janis Bobby: her accent's well strong again he'll love that throwback if nowt else 😉 Bobby: I do trust you and in all your ideas Bobby: 😎💭😏👏 like I just said Bobby: never put a foot wrong, you, Libs Libi: 😅 Libi: It'll be nice to have her back, not that I'll 💬 that to her face Libi: more 😒 than 😳 probably Libi: I try 🩰 Bobby: the dancing! 😳 deffo Bobby: I'll be putting that out of my head now Libi: Okay, there might be SOME dancing Libi: I 🤞 not to film that bit, even for laughs Bobby: only from the neck up, or we're gonna fall out Libi: Never! Bobby: hang on, unless I'm looking at where my feet are going, then don't Libi: Your concentration face IS very endearing Bobby: 😕 or 🤔? Libi: A solid mix of 🤔😋 Libi: we might furrow our brow if we're being VERY serious and having VERY big thoughts, of course 😉 Bobby: 👅 brings us back to cute like a 🐶 a bit Bobby: tell me YOUR big 💭 then, go on Libi: Don't be disrespecting 🐶s even if you want to decline the parallel, sir Libi: WELL Libi: you know my parents made lots of 📹 of their own Libi: and they had their own wedding, and I was bridesmaid then and my mum talked about if I ever had a wedding, and about Junior, Billie, Grace and Janis, their weddings they might have...I thought I could splice bits of her footage and audio with what I get on the day for Janis Libi: but, be honest, does that sound too depressing for words or? Libi: or like I'm making it all about ME and MY mum...I'm conflicted Bobby: I think it's a great idea, Cass would love it if she could have our mum there if she ever gets married, any bit of her Bobby: and that'll be like she's there Bobby: instead of everyone just 👀 an empty chair Libi: I'm glad you think so Libi: I'll probably run it by everyone else first but I can't really spoil the surprise for her beforehand Libi: I know I'd like it too, I think she will Bobby: even if it's a bit sad, it should be sad that your mum is missing it Bobby: and she'll get why you're doing it Libi: It's so strange Libi: seeing that I knew her Bobby: if you need a hand going through the footage, I'll put my concentration face on Bobby: I know there's loads Libi: Thanks 😌 Libi: I'll take you up on that Libi: luckily there is somewhat of a system but there's still a lot to go through, I don't want to miss anything Bobby: 📌📅 tomorrow? Libi: If that works for you Libi: that'd be 👍 Bobby: I'll wake you up 🍳🥓☕️ or the smoke alarm will Libi: 😂 Libi: If nothing, we'll have the ☕☕ Bobby: and I can work a 📱 whatever you wanna order Libi: Very impressive, Bobs Libi: could make you my 2nd unit DoP Bobby: 🙇🌹 Libi: Oh dear Libi: Venus is messaging me Libi: A lot Bobby: 😬 Libi: I think she thinks she's a bridesmaid too Bobby: but she knows how they're planning to do this Libi: Maybe she doesn't? But I'M pretty sure she's not Libi: this is awkward Bobby: you're busy, I'M keeping you busy Libi: She's 8, I can't be rude Libi: Why does she have her own account though 🤔 Bobby: she's 8, loads of other people are about to deal with her ❓❗ Bobby: you don't have to be the one who 💔👸🏽 Libi: 😬 AHH Bobby: put your 👟 on and leave your 📱 behind Bobby: that's my bright idea Libi: Where are we going 📌📅 today? Bobby: we'll let the 🐶s choose Libi: Okay Libi: but I need to bring the 📱 Bobby: I'll give it you back in case of an 🚨 Libi: 😖 Okay Libi: I'll let the adults deal with it before she finds out the 💳 she probably has too Libi: you're right Bobby: I'm saving you from an if where she gets it into her head that YOU'RE saying she can't be a bridesmaid Bobby: 'cause I can 👀 it happening Libi: That would not be good Libi: it's not like a thing thing, I'm only bridesmaid in name, really Libi: and Janis won't care if she wants to wear a massive dress Libi: it's fine Bobby: I can hide behind her when she does, problem solved Libi: We're both happy Libi: though you might have to duck a 🤏 Bobby: 🤞 I don't get taller beforehand Libi: How high do you think her 👠s will be? Libi: more fashionable than me already, that's for sure 😅 Bobby: high as 🌃 Bobby: but you'll be doing too much dancing to bother with any of that Bobby: 👣 Libi: Someone has to make sure you keep planted firmly on yours Bobby: or your video'll end up going viral for everyone to 😂🤣 at me and my moves Libi: Obviously, that's tempting 😉 Libi: but I did 🤞 so I'll stick to it Bobby: and I said you weren't 😈 which I wanna stick to Libi: Ideally, me too Bobby: 🤝 Libi: Just trying to get Killer's harness on 🙄 Libi: I'll be ten years 👌 Bobby: she don't wanna go, she'd just eat Venus instead Libi: Not before dinner ❌ Bobby: let's get 🍕 delivered to wherever we end up 🌳🥅🌼 Libi: Only if we can get ALL the dips Bobby: obviously Bobby: not gonna eat my crusts otherwise and Killer can't have every one of them Libi: No matter how hard she 🥺🥺 Bobby: I'll pretend I don't see her Libi: Good luck Bobby: not a patch on your 🥺 Libi: Well, don't take more than your fair share and I won't have to employ them 😋 Bobby: long as you give me my fair share, I won't have to take it Bobby: bigger half remains the going rate Libi: 😱 I was about to say Libi: how dare you suggest I take more when that's clearly you Libi: you didn't want to grow, remember Bobby: still time to convince someone a bit older into a dress like a meringue if you're not gonna hide me Libi: Grace might Libi: you could try her Bobby: 👌 Libi: OR even more thrilling, you could help me look for dresses over 🍕 Bobby: okay Bobby: one I really mean this time Libi: I really don't have a clue what to go for Libi: at least you know where you are with a suit Libi: or if she were that kind of bride and I just got told Bobby: you allowed to do whatever you want? Libi: Yup...It's a little daunting, actually Libi: maybe we should let Venus organize it Bobby: might be even more daunting if you did Bobby: we'll figure it out Libi: Us all in baby pink marshmallow gowns Libi: 🤐 okay, I'll take that back Bobby: 💐🎀👑🩰🧁✨ Libi: Cute for her and the twins Libi: I'll literally look like a 🐖 Bobby: whatever animal you wanna look like, we'll aim for that Bobby: but I'd have said 🦑 Libi: 😂 How is that any better? Bobby: camouflage is a skill they have, that benefits me Bobby: plus you have more legs to juggle 📹🌹🥂🍰💃 Libi: Good, solid arguments Libi: I'm convinced Bobby: didn't even bring up that you can shoot ink at predators Libi: I don't think that's a ➕ Libi: around all the 👗s Bobby: might be if there's a family argument Libi: 🤫 Libi: There won't be! Libi: 🥛 half full Bobby: Cass is coming but alright Bobby: 🤞 Libi: Yeah but Libi: no need for squid ink Bobby: 😇 Libi: You? Libi: 🤔 Bobby: everyone Bobby: on their best behaviour Libi: I won't be enforcing it Libi: not ☔️💃 Bobby: you'll be the mirrorball ✨💃 Libi: Only if you're dancing 😊 Bobby: only with you, not Venus Libi: We'll find ways to keep you looking busy if she 👀 Bobby: I'll hold your 📹🌹🥂🍰💃 as you're not going for a 🦑👗 Libi: All the arms would be useful in general Libi: Think how many 🐶s I could walk Bobby: but think how many 👶s you'd have to hold Libi: That is 75% of the guestlist Bobby: 🤞 she's not pregnant now Bobby: that's why loads of people get married Libi: They've been together forever Libi: I don't think it's that Bobby: me either Libi: Such a 🃏 Libi: if you want that family feud, just ask her if she is, I'm SURE she'll oblige 😏 Bobby: I don't have a death wish, Libs Bobby: or want a family 🥊 Libi: Good call Libi: all I want is 🍕 now and we're finally out the door Bobby: I wanna to find you a 👗 before Venus does but I do need 🍕 for that Libi: 💪 building is a must, of course Bobby: what's Astrid gonna wear? Bobby: be ideas there 🦚🦜🦋🐛 Libi: I'll ask her Libi: don't know if she starts her creative process early on or inspiration just comes to her Bobby: 👍 Libi: It'll be amazing, regardless Bobby: couldn't even deny that as 🃏 Bobby: I'll look so boring in my 🤵 next to you 2 Libi: Well I could never pull off half the 🦚🦜🦋🐛 she does Libi: and you won't look boring! You'll look handsome, and not at all like a mini-me now Bobby: you can pull off anything Bobby: and used to when you were lil Libi: I don't want to look lil now Libi: she looks cool, I wouldn't Bobby: you'll look and feel top of the world Bobby: the search is on Libi: You're the best Bobby: you Libi: 😊😌 Libi: Maybe I could wait to see your suits Libi: colour match? Bobby: we haven't done that for ages Libi: Does it make me a bit too Libi: Venus? Bobby: not if we don't choose pink Bobby: or gold Libi: An all-gold tuxe, stunning 😅 Libi: I'm fine with those stipulations Bobby: I'm not pulling off anything like that Bobby: but matching is like a proper wedding thing Bobby: you won't look lil Libi: Right, even if they aren't the types to insist, I don't think it'd make them mad either Libi: it'll give us some focus Libi: too many options Bobby: and an excuse to stay together Bobby: soz everyone who won't get to dance with me but Libi: We ARE the wedding party, however unofficial Libi: practically our jobs Bobby: there you go, it's come together Libi: Thank goodness for you Libi: I'd probably still be freaking out being NO help or fun right now if I didn't have you Bobby: you came with me to that bollocks school 💃🕺 with my whole year there this'll be loads better than that Bobby: nowt to worry about Libi: That was spectacularly lame Libi: but we made the best of it still Bobby: yep and we didn't need to get drunk how loads of them did Libi: Be a sorry state of affairs if we forgot how to have fun together without it Bobby: be some sort of head injury Libi: Not matching 🤕 🤕 Bobby: 😵😵 Libi: It is a family function Libi: possibly Bobby: you said no 🥊 Libi: I was thinking about all the 🥂s Bobby: 😲 you're thinking about getting me drunk! Libi: Don't say it like that! Libi: I just meant everyone else WILL be and we can have some Bobby: we should do it Bobby: you're right about the obvious opportunity Libi: Just to get more used to it Libi: so when we go to more 💃🕺 outside of school, we won't look lil either Bobby: yeah Bobby: we won't be 😳 Libi: I don't wanna get drunk Libi: just not recoil when I taste it Libi: 🤝? Bobby: tell me if the room's spinning when you've stopped 💃and I'll cut you off 🤝 Libi: It's a plan Libi: if your eyes go all 😵🥴 I'll take your bottle away too Bobby: long as you're making eye contact, that'll work Libi: My 👀s will do their best to keep up with yours, of course Bobby: 💃🕺 Bobby: can you 👀 me now? Libi: 👋 Libi: [and then 👋 IRL as you run up] Bobby: [hug her and probably have to disentangle the dog leads like your own rom com moment] Libi: [at least these old lady dogs won't be going as crazy god bless them, say now that obviously we sign everything for him as we speak 'cos duh, 'this is good practice for dancing' as you do the thing where you have to go under a lead and around] Bobby: [likewise just know that I'm obvs purely signing everything cos we don't speak but I'll still write it like speech cos it is 'in that case, nothing to worry about' touches his face like is there a 😳 and shakes his head like nope] Libi: ['I told you' and a big smile and checking our own face but like seriously hoping we're not blushing because he cute] Bobby: [an even bigger smile back because she's cute and we're glad she's not stressed any more] Libi: [giving Twix some love and treats as we head off 'Is Cass bringing anybody?'] Bobby: ['if she's going out with anyone, bringing them to a family wedding isn't gonna happen' cos true even though it's a scaled down family function] Libi: [nods like yeah, true 'I liked her last boyfriend, shame we can't invite him' 'cos what happened did you just decide to go back North or what] Bobby: [a look on his face like did you like him or did you LIKE him because we're jealous and you know it but we're doing the JJ move of acting like it's pure bants of course] Libi: [slapping at his arm like excuse you! but we're 😳 so it looks like you LIKED him even though obviously not you're just embarrassed to even be talking about this with him like we know why 'As if! He was just nice, and Cass had more fun when he was around'] Bobby: [a look like mhmmmm sure because we do think you like him now gal] Libi: ['that would be so inappropriate, ew' emphasizing the EW dramatically like stop it] Bobby: [a look like true you'd never do anything like that because we know her inside out and that she's never trying to rock the boat like that which is also a little bit true of him tbh cos Cass is the explosive one so we have to be the chill one to make Jimothy's life easier] Libi: [sigh like thank you and telling him about some girl in her year who's got a teacher crush 'I swear she thinks it's going to happen' and shaking her head like honestly] Bobby: [telling her about someone in his year who does too because it's always a thing and doing an even more dramatic ew than she did] Libi: [🙄 'Sometimes I think we're the only normal people around' and pulling a 🤪 face] Bobby: ['we deffo are' and obvs doing his own silly face back before putting his arm around her like that's why we gotta stick together forever thank you] Libi: [feelsy lean 'at least we don't have to worry about any of that, dates, and stuff'] Bobby: [an OTT dramatic sigh like yeah thank god that we actually do mean 'there's nobody at school I would take if I had a gun to my head' full offense to everybody lol] Libi: [can't help but smile, 'I don't think we're old enough to qualify for plus ones anyway' but nudges him conspiratorily 'no one, REALLY?'] Bobby: ['is there someone you would?' because that's how that sounds to us now, even though we clearly don't wanna get back onto talking about who she fancies] Libi: [shakes our head 'the boys are worse than the girls'] Bobby: [the amount of relief he'd have to hide is making me lol 'you sure you wanna go to more parties? drunk they'll be even worse'] Libi: [shrugs 'cos not really but we're growing up honey 'don't wanna miss out, do we?'] Bobby: [rallies because we don't wanna her to miss out because of us so we do an emphatic head shake like NO and we're on socials looking for any parties coming up because realistically there are probably some coming up always like why wait until after the wedding] Libi: [just peeping over his shoulder] Bobby: [let's say Asia's sister is having one after the suit shopping next weekend so he's like !? because do we want this to be our trial run lol] Libi: [a face like OH GOD 'cos we know she's the worst 'We don't have to'] Bobby: ['not much to lose, she already hates us and we know it won't be fun unless we make it' a shrug like it's so casual and we're not at all ! waiting for what she'll say] Libi: [just studying his face trying to work out what he wants without asking of course 'Could be funny, if not fun' 'cos we know she's tragic we don't need to be nice about her she's not family] Bobby: [likewise studying hers and her tone/body language like do you actually wanna do this or not 'we can just dance away if it's not' trying to reassure ourselves here as much as her which would be obvious] Libi: [does another twirl like yeah we can] Bobby: [control your 😍 please boy and do a IRL 🤝] Libi: [just keeping holding his hand as you walk these dogs] Bobby: [love that for you] Libi: [realising you need them for talking though so you literally only can when you're being quiet, which is quite cute] Bobby: [we stan a comfortable silence in this house and also please take lots of pics like you did when you were bubs around JJ's influence thank you] Libi: [of course, I'm going to try to be more artsy with it to bring in your parents influence too but obviously selfies are a must regardless] Bobby: [it do be why people think you're dating because his entire socials are literally gonna just be selfies of you two but I'm not soz] Libi: [people aren't just being straight and weird about it, people who actually know y'all] Bobby: [god bless] Libi: ['be good to see Jay again' also unrelated but not, I think this wedding should be around xmas time 'cos when they met okay] Bobby: ['it has been ages' because realistically probably has been because she'd only come back for big fam functions really because we're not grown yet and as we know Buster's bday is right by Matty's so she probably didn't do that in october so god knows when she was last here tbh] Libi: [ages in as much as she doesn't live here so deffo 'at least she won't know what to wear either' sounds like a drag, she's just not that girly as a kid we know] Bobby: [yeah and she's literally Bobby's age so you feel awkward at formal occasions then unless you're girly af and go in 'maybe she should go suit shopping too' again not a drag or pisstake] Libi: [nudging him 'you gonna ask her?' when you're pretending it's #bants but we're alerted lmao] Bobby: ['I think Jim wants it to just be us' because no offense Jay but he probably does want that bonding moment, factor in that when he's using his name he's using a feelsy sign for it like we know he has and that's true of everyone's name when we're talking IRL] Libi: [smiles like of course, jk jk, because you love how close they are] Bobby: ['Ava'll help her if she needs it' cos she always dresses amazingly and still would lbr] Libi: [nods because we are not worried about it 'she always manages to look cool too'] Bobby: [nudging her because we see you comparing yourself again gal and we think you're the coolest] Libi: [face like ugh soz 'cos can't help it but not trying to be that bitch though] Bobby: [drags her along like come on we're gonna run until your brain switches off which the dogs will love too] Libi: [run babies run] Bobby: [then dramatically flop onto the grass with her like breathless but 😁 in a very cinematic manner] Libi: [likewise because we do feel better for it 'how do you always know what will work?'] Bobby: ['years of practice?' not really a question because they've known each other forever so that is true] Libi: ['You deserve a raise' 'or a medal' and mimes putting one on him Bobby: [mimes breaking it and giving her half 'unlike the pizza, I'll let you have the bigger bit'] Libi: ['so kind' 😏 gets her phone out like speaking of 'usual?' 'cos of course we know these things about each other] Bobby: [nods and gets the dogs to bark that they also agree] Libi: [laughs 'none for them, remember'] Bobby: [looks away from the dogs like soz 'I promise' but 🤞 playfully where she still see it instead of behind his back like we might break that lol] Libi: ['soft touch' but we're clearly not mad] Bobby: [😲 but we're not offended] Libi: ['It's what we love about you' who's we like okay] Bobby: ['you won't be saying that when I put my foot down about taking your bottle away' I doubt she's gonna be an angry drunk and try and stop you that hard but okay, daddy energy of that statement excuse us] Libi: [😲 back at him 'I'm not that much of a brat, thank you!' but folds her arms and pouts like a kid for dramatic effect 'besides, if I say anything it'll be thanks for not letting me make a fool of myself'] Bobby: ['I'd never let that happen' sincere af because we wouldn't 'especially not at a party of China's' since she really do be the worst, doing a 📷 mime because it'd be all over socials] Libi: [shudders like oh god and is 😒 'make a change from her feed being full of her embarrassing behaviour but no thanks'] Bobby: [gets his phone and gestures her closer so they can watch her story together because honestly imagine we're 14 going on 24 now] Libi: [big yikes, big lols, also what was the other ones name/could we put her in Libi's year for double the amusement/potential] Bobby: [we did say she was the youngest one and the other one called America was like a bit younger than Cass but no reason we can't change that if we want to because we've only said it out of character so] Libi: [Like it doesn't truly matter I know but she was friends with a girl that looks like she could be Asia's sister, so maybe if America is in our year she could not suck as hard] Bobby: [I'm down for that, why not if you have stuff you can use] Libi: [Asia's mum could've got a new man for these two, who also peaced, a moment] Bobby: [that's very much a mood] Libi: [just thinking who's another bitchy but kinda goofy blonde hmm] Libi: [okay China=Imogen Poots America=Lia Marie Johnson] Bobby: [a good shout and it makes sense that you're bitchy gal because you're prettiest and clearly also smarter than Asia was so you're clearly your mum's fave and popular at school with your squad] Libi: [golden child, how nice for you madam] Bobby: [and I imagine her hating that her sister is friends with them on any level so that's some fun drama] Libi: [yeah, always good to have that fun level of not too deep going on] Bobby: [yeah we won't be going hard with it but there's things we can do through the years, though please don't also go to Trinity gal I'll die] Libi: [we won't let you, gotta have limits lol] Bobby: [anyway enjoy lightly mocking her socials kids because she thinks she's such hot shit] Libi: ['I bet she wears heels to her own house party'] Bobby: [showing her a picture of whatever she wore the last time she had one when they obvs didn't go like yep there they are] Libi: [when we're shooketh 'cos we're pretty casual at all times 'but she's at HER HOUSE' like we do not understand lmao] Bobby: ['her mum probably keeps her drinks in the top cupboard' we're obviously joking here because it's obvious her mum isn't the lock up her booze sort but she's adorable so we have to joke to distract us] Libi: [little lols 'should let me throw a party' because literally live with Fearghal, everyone would lose their shit lmao but we ain't gonna hens] Bobby: [does the walking fingers across her knee or wherever like baby steps gal because we've only just said about going to parties never mind throwing them 'you should leave her off the guest list' we don't like honey and we never will] Libi: [acting like it tickled so much to hide the 😳 we'd have, when we've collected ourselves/the dogs have stopped jumping all over us too 'she wasn't top of the list' and does a shh don't tell] Bobby: [lists off who the guest list would be but in a silly way like Venus, Cass' ex etc etc] Libi: [tutting any time it's a family member like shh but we're amused, and adding our own additions of unfavourable party guests] Bobby: [just getting sillier and sillier about it until we run out] Libi: ['I'd much sooner someone else's parent's house got trashed, like' and shrugs like not sorry] Bobby: [we're nodding because we clearly often hang out at mcvickers and like it there 'and that someone else got in trouble' because we see you gal always] Libi: ['is getting in trouble mandatory for parties?' like we're taking the piss but also like, why does there need to be any drama lol] Bobby: ['if anyone could change the way parties go, it's you' because everyone at school be throwing parties the same exact way, getting trashed and trashing the place but we know Libi could do it better] Libi: ['I'll add it to my to-do list' and doing a little ✔ in the air 'what would your best party be like?'] Bobby: [shamelessly gonna say he describes either one of his birthdays or hers when they were younger and in the peak of their bubby love] Libi: [you would've had some great birthdays lads, we're so happy and reminiscing] Bobby: [enjoy just reliving all those mems and then you can look a pics and stuff of you two on your phone instead of that bitch] Libi: [posting some throwbacks and talking more about your video ideas and stuff as it is related] Bobby: [love that and I also love thinking about how many times they would've watched the wedding video when they were bubs and wanted to get married] Libi: [RIP, so sweet and extra, also how shooketh Tess would've been by you makes me lol] Bobby: [one day you will get married, I hope Tess is still alive to see it] Libi: [my boo says hold on bitch lmao] Bobby: [looking down from heaven like] Libi: [aww, also go on the swings please whilst waiting for your pizza delivery] Bobby: [you gotta, soz dogs you amuse yourselves for a sec please] Libi: [we can throw a ball for you gals but you old so you might enjoy the rest too lol] Bobby: [have a little snooze huns we gotta push our bae on the swings for a bit before we get on because that's gentlemanly behaviour] Libi: [see how high you can get hun, some kids should come along and want a go, like little kids, so we're shamed like oh, I was acting like a baby, although Bobby was also swinging and we were having a nice time, such a difficult age] Bobby: [that's so real and also really hurt my heart so much excuse me being a hormonal bitch over here, play with the dogs guys, we gotta cheer the bae] Libi: [soz gal the insecurity be popping out] Bobby: [when you realise you didn't ask her what her ideal party would be like so you do] Libi: [describe what is essentially your dream wedding moment but leave out the wedding part 'cos that bitch] Bobby: [I'm FINE meanwhile Bobby be like 'alright now I wanna change my answer to that' because perfect sounding] Libi: [😁 'you're invited, of course'] Bobby: [hug her because she's adorable and you can hide your 😍 whilst still showing that we're buzzing] Libi: [you're so cute guys it's rude, lord knows this delivery better show up so you have to break up to eat] Bobby: [my boo says eat your pizza, I bet they have such a cute order like they probably make their own little weird thing, oh I love you two] Libi: [deffo one weird thing that NO ONE else would want ever but you two do] Bobby: [that's such a vibe and I feel like they'd have a million little things like that which other people think are weird (again not in a Ro way) when he gets with Cammie's mum she's gonna be like um no I won't be eating that] Libi: [just missing all those little things honey, a vibe] Bobby: [for now live for your best lives because we're evil and gonna put you through it] Libi: [we're so rude] Bobby: [I was thinking that the party should go badly for whatever reason so then they're even more determined at the wedding and they can get drunk which will be useful for us] Libi: [easily done, so many reasons not to be living] Bobby: [yeah exactly my thought, like you only need to feel slightly awkward/ like you're not keeping up and that'll lead on nicely] Libi: [if you like we can skip to getting ready for that party and do it in this convo, it's not long] Bobby: [why not, I said it was after the suit shopping so imagine all the cute pics he would've sent her] Libi: [Okay, so later on] Libi: Have you guys made a decision? 😄 Bobby: I think so 👍 Libi: Did you send me a 📸 or is it a total surprise? Bobby: I've held back on the 📸s of 🥇🥈🥉 Bobby: do you wanna 👀 the runners up or just skip to the winner I've saved to show you in person? 🤔 Libi: 🤔🤔 Libi: No, save it for in person Bobby: you sure? Libi: Yes, we're meeting up before this party, right? Bobby: yeah, it'll be ages before we can go there Bobby: getting there too early 🤓 Libi: Exactly Libi: even I know that Libi: and pre-drinks are a thing too, so I've heard Bobby: are you inviting the others for them? Libi: I hadn't really thought about it Libi: do you think they'll behave? Bobby: some of them might Libi: We could do then Libi: we won't be able to have hard stuff, just beers and that kind of thing Bobby: we probably shouldn't go too hard before the party, knowing how they end Libi: I'll invite them then 👍 Libi: tell them to save their bottles for the party too Bobby: don't tell them I said to be 🐢🐌 Bobby: not very 😎 Libi: It's me who wants it Libi: but it's okay, nans home so I can blame her 😬 Bobby: it's me too Bobby: I don't wanna fall over before I've had chance to 💃🕺 Libi: Of course I can count on you to understand Libi: what's the point of showing up somewhere to socialize and being incapable of it because you're wasted? Libi: I see the merit in being a little buzzed but Libi: it sounds 🤓 when it's just logical Bobby: no merits to 🥴🤢🤮 Bobby: she'll have a lovely bathroom but I don't wanna spend the whole party on the floor of it Libi: I have 0 plans to go that far anyway Libi: surely that's more embarrassing than being naive about it Libi: anyway, I'd never be let out again if I did so ❌ Bobby: and I don't wanna go out and about without you so ❌ Libi: I wouldn't be allowed if you weren't there Libi: I think it helps, that we know who the family is too, even if they have no idea what a nightmare China really is, at least she's not some 😱😱 stranger who's running some kind of kiddy crack den or whatever goes through parental 🧠s Bobby: we've gone from cute 🐶 to guard 🐶 Bobby: is that progress? 💪😎 Libi: 🙄😏 No pressure, or anything Libi: obviously, I'm perfectly capable but Libi: always the but Bobby: challenge accepted, even though it isn't one to keep you out of trouble Libi: You're welcome for the easy life then 😉 Bobby: if you could just dress me like Jim did earlier then it really would be Libi: Okay but seriously Libi: what do we wear Libi: not that the dress code is going to be the same for us but Bobby: I'm not wearing 👠 that's cuter when you're lil 🤴👸 Libi: you've had the growth spurt, you don't need to Libi: another plus to inviting the others Libi: take a vote so my whole wardrobe doesn't end up on the floor Bobby: if you're thinking about taking it to a vote you're overthinking it Libi: 😰😰 Bobby: just choose something that don't make you feel 😳😳 if China's going to say something she will whatever it is Libi: If it were that easy Libi: She's so Libi: ugh Bobby: why can't it be? Bobby: I could close my 👀 and grab something that you'd end up looking great in Libi: Maybe all my clothes are awful and I've only just realized tonight Libi: so inconvenient 😂 Bobby: come on, Libs Bobby: I know you trust me not to let you walk around looking 😳 Libi: I know Libi: I'm just freaking out for no reason Libi: she always thinks she looks better than everyone, like you said, what I wear doesn't matter Bobby: not no reason, just a bollocks one Bobby: if you wanna swap wardrobes, we haven't done that for ages either but I'm in Libi: Considering how #shamed I'll be if I don't opt for 👠👗 Libi: save that for another day Bobby: you're dressing for 💃🕺 with me not auditioning for her Bobby: any day Libi: dancing in 👠s sounds more dangerous than 🍾 Libi: noted ✔ Bobby: we're gonna have fun Bobby: tell your 🧠 Libi: We always do Libi: I'm going to cheer up Libi: Am says she's invited SO many people, she probably won't even notice we're there Libi: we can 💃🕺 unbothered all night Bobby: a bit relieved I won't have to have my face painted like a 🐺 to improve things this time Bobby: dunno if I could still pull that off Libi: 'course you could Libi: but Jimmy might be a bit busy, all things considered Libi: 🤞 she's hired the lady again Libi: 🍧🍨🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬🍫🍿🍩🍪 Bobby: I bet it'll be 🍣 this time Bobby: 🤞 not off some poor lad Bobby: be wishing I was blind instead Libi: Bobby! Libi: 😂 That's horrific Libi: worse than anything I've been warned against Bobby: soz! Bobby: it's not her 🎂 she'll probably have toned it down 🤏 Libi: I should hope so Libi: maybe she'll have gone 50/50 and we can eat 🍧🍨🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬🍫🍿🍩🍪 off some dude Libi: I'll be able to tolerate that Bobby: chuffed for YOU Bobby: won't catch me eating anything off anyone Libi: Spoilsport 😜 Bobby: you started drinking already? Bobby: offering yourself up as a 🍽 don't sound like something sober you would do Libi: I didn't! Libi: You're 📑 between the lines, I think Bobby: 🤔👌 Libi: It's most offensive you think I'd start without you Libi: how rude when you're stuck suit shopping Bobby: I bet China has Libi: If you were Jake Gallagher, what would YOU find more attractive? A girl who can keep up and hold her drink, or a girl who goes hard and blacks out Libi: that's who she's after right now, so I've heard Bobby: 🍾🥂💅💄 all just part of getting ready for her Bobby: what's his? the sniff test and shots Bobby: sounds like 💘 to me Libi: Second best option, least in her head Libi: she can't get you so, I guess Bobby: she don't want me Bobby: the real question is, why are you asking me about Jake's POV? Libi: Only because she's shot herself in the foot by being a bitch to you Libi: Because whatever kind of girl she reckons he's into, is what she'll be being tonight Libi: and you're a boy, so you'd know Bobby: I'm not the same kind of boy as him Libi: Yeah but precisely 0 of the boys at school are as nice as you Bobby: which lads aren't being nice to you? Libi: No one's not being nice to me Libi: but there's a reason you're my best friend Bobby: you can tell me, just 'cause I can't have a conversation with them don't mean I can't make them understand that they need to treat you nicer Libi: This is why you're trusted to keep me safe Libi: not calling you 🐶cute don't worry Bobby: you're my best friend, you can call me what you like Libi: Well now I just have to come up with the most ridiculous nickname, obviously 😏 Bobby: after a few drinks that'll come easy Bobby: I've heard that's how it works Libi: I won't tell Astrid it's your new sign name or anything Bobby: she'll make it stick if you do Libi: Exactly why we'll keep it secret Libi: I know deaf etiquette but you know the rest of 'em'll be asking for the story Bobby: and you don't want the story to be that you were pre-drinking Libi: UM, I'm protecting you from the story being you was 🥳😵🥴 and then... Bobby: oh NOW I get it, tah for being my hero Libi: SO welcome 😚 Libi: and I am not pre-drinking yet Bobby: you want me to go first in case everything we try is 🤢 Libi: 1. I KNOW beer is and I KNOW wine is so I don't know what I'm even going to start with 2. Even China isn't sad enough to be drinking alone, she'll have her mates there, like Bobby: what if it's really ALL 🤢? what are we gonna do? Libi: I'll bring a massive bag as part of my ensemble and we can just mix everything with the coke I hide in it Libi: I've got one we could at least fit 2 2l bottles in Bobby: my actual hero Libi: You'll have to carry it for me there so don't be too thankful yet Bobby: how many batteries will I have to carry for your 📹? Libi: I can kick it disposable Libi: don't need her 🔊😘 in my memories forever Bobby: relieved I don't lip read so girls can't use that to say I'm flirting with them 👀💋 Libi: They're 💔 Libi: also clearly think you still do, half of them Bobby: faking it and playing a really really long game Libi: 🙄 Honestly Libi: They think there's only one way to be deaf, is why Bobby: bit awkward that I'm doing it wrong Libi: How dare you, like Bobby: about as awkward as the BRIGHT lights this party would need for anyone to lip read Bobby: the things we'd 👀... Libi: 🤐 Libi: at least I can freely tell you all the good bits I do overhear without looking like a massive gossip Bobby: yeah, I'll be 💔 if I don't find out about Jake's ✔s and ❌s Libi: Yeah, 90% of it is really boring Libi: but there must be something decent in the 10% to make it worth going, right? Bobby: we're about to find out 🤞 Libi: 😎 Bobby: is Am coming or is it too close to home? Libi: Coming to us or coming to the party? Bobby: 😂 both questions work Libi: She's lowkey got to be there, I think, or go to her nans which she's almost as 😒 about Libi: their mum is at her boyfriends Libi: he's lasting, hence the increase in parties Libi: I'll invite her even though it probably feels counterproductive, so at least she can have fun here before going back Bobby: tell her I said I NEED her to teach me how to drink Libi: 😂 How could she refuse Bobby: she won't Libi: Careful, don't wanna sound like Jake Bobby: 🤐 Libi: She's down though Libi: China is fully telling her she HAS to go to their nans, like she's got a leg to stand on Bobby: 👶ing her is DEFFO gonna make her do anything Libi: Seriously, she acts like she's so much older, it's ridiculous Bobby: makes me feel like I should give Cass some kind of sister award Libi: Don't have to wait 'til she gets hitched to do a 📼 Bobby: I probably do Bobby: or at least wait for her 21st Libi: Right, she's not the sentimental sort Libi: or IS she? 🤔🤫 Bobby: when it's about our mum Libi: It's understandable Libi: even if it's hard to Bobby: yeah Libi: What about you? Bobby: what about me? Libi: How are you feeling about it? Bobby: it's not like there's anything new to feel Bobby: it's been ages since she was even a real person to me Libi: Your feelings could change, even if the situation hasn't Libi: But I understand what you mean too Bobby: it's different for her, she has loads more memories Bobby: I don't even know if mine are proper ones or just something I made up 📚🤴👸🐉 Libi: It is a different sort of loss Libi: more, what you could've had, not what you did Libi: it's the same for me, compared to everyone else Bobby: I don't feel like I missed out on anything Bobby: Jim didn't let me Libi: That's what's important Bobby: it's a bit rude to him that Cass acts like she'd have been better off having mum back Libi: She clearly isn't thinking about that Libi: it is though, but in terms of her priorities, she can sort being a bit rude out later Bobby: she wasn't a mum like yours, anyone would miss that Libi: that's because she was 15, just a kid herself Libi: like all the fun we had with Jim and Janis Libi: your mum was a proper adult, things get messy and difficult Bobby: you can still 👀 she was and would've been a good mum, how much she loves you is on every 📼 Bobby: as a proper adult mine should've done better, is what I think Libi: She definitely should've Libi: maybe Cass just wants to tell her as much Libi: I don't know Bobby: maybe she wants someone else to be 😡 at Bobby: dad isn't gonna change if she shouts at him Libi: Hope's a powerful thing Libi: whilst there's still a chance there's still a chance Bobby: feels like a dangerous thing if you're holding onto it for either of my parents but what do I know Libi: Probably is Libi: but maybe the way she sees it is your dad has blown it and your mum has a final chance to Bobby: officially she's dead though, they don't just decide that if they think someone's coming back Libi: I know Libi: it takes a lot of factors to make it seem official though Libi: maybe more for her than you Bobby: I think it should count for something that she's been gone longer than she's been around Bobby: you've never even met her and I've known you forever Libi: Probably don't need to ask if it's worth having this conversation with her? Libi: 😡 Bobby: she's the deaf one on that subject Bobby: even my dad's said more about her than Cass has Bobby: all 🤬 obviously but still Libi: Of course Libi: you can always talk to me Libi: don't need to be pre-drunk or anything Bobby: what's the deaf version of slurring, do you think? Bobby: signs that don't make sense? Libi: It'll be like an experiment 😁 Libi: maybe you forget all the signs like people do the right words Bobby: it'll probably be like when Janis was learning and kept getting everything slightly wrong for ages but was still doing it really confidently Libi: 😂 exactly like that Libi: as long as I don't start shouting again Bobby: 😂 Libi: I shouldn't forget you don't 👀💋 Bobby: I hate the idea that we won't understand each other Bobby: if we forget everything or whatever Libi: that's not going to happen Bobby: how do you know? Libi: 'cos it just never will Libi: we'll always be able to understand each other Bobby: we'll still have body language Libi: and telepathy Libi: if we try hard enough Bobby: unless we're too 😵 to have proper 💭s either Libi: I can still read your muddled ones Bobby: I don't wanna talk myself out of this but I Bobby: need to be able to talk to you Libi: We're not going to get that drunk Libi: we don't have to if we don't want to, and I don't want to Bobby: alright Libi: If it stops being fun we'll slow down Libi: or just keep drinking coke and pretending there's vodka in there Bobby: 🤝 Libi: 🤝 Libi: and Am is going to teach us Libi: we'll be pros Bobby: I'm overthinking it, must be my go Libi: I started it and put too much pressure on you Libi: it'll be like any other party Libi: we'll do our own thing and it'll be good Bobby: nah, it's not your fault that most people there couldn't talk to me sober Libi: 😞 Libi: we'll find a party Libi: where you can talk to everyone you want Bobby: that sounds like a 📚🤴👸🐉 Libi: A good one though? Bobby: I don't know Bobby: a weird one Libi: There's bound to be groups or social shit, there's plenty of schools, I bet they put stuff on Libi: you'd only have to endure those a few times if they were really lame to find people to hang out with outside of it Bobby: there's no expecting Cass to go back and be mates with anyone or everyone who's a bit northern Libi: that's why you have to find the decent people out Bobby: I've found you, don't get any better than that Libi: 🥰 Libi: I'm pleased to hear you don't plan to totally replace me Bobby: couldn't if I wanted to Bobby: irreplaceable, you Libi: You practising your lines on me? Bobby: is it working? Libi: Who are you practising for? Bobby: China, obviously Libi: Don't even joke! 😷 Bobby: I'd get alcohol poisoning before I was drunk enough to go near her Libi: I'd drag you home before you made such a bad decision Bobby: I've got your back with Jake too Libi: I'm not going anywhere near Jake Libi: plus he's 15 isn't he? Libi: doubt he's actually interested in her nevermind me Bobby: didn't get an invite to any of his 🎂🥳 so I can't say for sure Libi: Rude of him Libi: they'd be a great couple Bobby: 💘 like I said Libi: Okay Cupid, you were right Libi: how are you going to make it happen? Bobby: they don't need my help Bobby: perfect for each other Libi: 🙄 Libi: Happy for them 👏 Bobby: 🎬🌹 Bobby: well convincing performance there, Libs Libi: I'll be ready by the time we get there Libi: 🙇 Bobby: and I'll be ready if Jake needs to borrow any lines to win her over Libi: An interesting twist on Cyrano Libi: he's going to need to understand sign though Libi: or it'll be you to me to Jake to China Libi: no 🔺 all ⬛ Bobby: if he can read I'll pass him a note 💌 Libi: Oh Libi: DUH Libi: keep the words short and he shouldn't struggle that much Bobby: but I think Netflix would prefer it your way ⬛ Libi: Probably Libi: the more convoluted the better Libi: gotta get multiple series Bobby: at least 7 Bobby: we're in our late 20s by the middle Libi: definitely should be out of school, should definitely be over this #drama Bobby: definitely should 👀 some of those plot twists coming Libi: 5 relationships and 3 murders in Libi: Started out so innocent Bobby: or did we 😉 Libi: 😱 Libi: If you've been the killer this whole time Libi: disappointing Bobby: is it? Bobby: 💔 Libi: Of course, I trusted you Libi: Great dramatic speech though, if you don't end the finale by killing me too Bobby: you can still trust me, I did it all to keep you safe Libi: Now THAT'S 🎬🌹 Bobby: 🙇 Libi: Bet we'd even get a shitty spin-off Bobby: 12 episodes Libi: give us a weird looking baby Libi: still getting into drama though Bobby: 🐶 too Libi: the dog can be cute Bobby: have you ever 👀 one that isn't? the real question Libi: Some of the pure breeds but that's not their fault Libi: still cute they just might make me sad Bobby: ❌😢 Libi: *😿*🐶 Bobby: 🥺 Libi: Well that's not fair Libi: don't just bring out the puppydog eyes with no warning Bobby: the warning was 😿🐶 Libi: well I think that's playing dirty Bobby: how is it? Libi: 🥺 is last resort Bobby: do it back and we'll be even Libi: [selfie 'cos duh] Libi: When are you gonna come over? Libi: It's not cool to be early to the party but when is it acceptable to start the pre-party? Bobby: we're on our way back, we can start it then Bobby: I'll just need to grab my 👗👠 Libi: Of course Libi: feel free to send those 🥉🥈🥇 options Bobby: how many do you have? Libi: I think 2 Libi: well, 3, but that's the one I think is utterly ridiculous but you might tell me it's right Libi: then one more casual and one that's what I'm assuming the 😎 girl would wear Bobby: don't worry about 📷s I'll 👀 when I get there Bobby: for the full 💃 effect Libi: as long as it's before the others get here Libi: don't want to look like I'm showing off Bobby: we won't tell them the pre-party's started, it's alright Libi: 👍😅 Bobby: I'll grab [food from place they like 1] and [food they like from place 2 that doesn't work together for anyone else but is one of their weird combos] then I can't 🤔 for too long before it'll go cold Libi: Now THAT is a 💡 Libi: I'm starving 😋 Bobby: me too, that's how I knew you would be Libi: fainting would really make us look lightweight Bobby: if it was just one of us we could probably turn it into a 🕺💃 move Bobby: both, not so much Libi: I can hold you up Bobby: not if you're wearing 👠 for the first time Libi: It's not the FIRST time Bobby: trying them on and deciding you don't like them doesn't count Libi: 😣 Rude Bobby: you don't have any secrets from me, I know everything you've done and not done Libi: or do I? 🤔 Bobby: I'll get you to tell me whatever it is Libi: Oh really? Bobby: yep Libi: Good thing I don't really have any then Bobby: 🤔 that's what someone with loads of secrets WOULD say Libi: 😂 make up your mind Bobs Bobby: once I've read yours Libi: Go ahead Bobby: 👀 Libi: All I'm thinking about is the food now Bobby: I'm 🏃ing in Libi: Step on it 👏 Libi: jk Bobby: hang on in there, Libs Bobby: ⏲❗ Libi: I'm SO patient Bobby: there's a MASSIVE queue though Libi: Well that's rude Libi: don't they know we've got places to be Bobby: I'll write down how much I miss you and wave the paper at them Libi: I've missed you too Libi: you've got to tell me all about today before we go anywhere Bobby: I've got an impression of the salesbloke you have to see Bobby: he didn't have your patience with us Libi: That's literally half his job, humouring people until they buy something Bobby: maybe he was starving too Bobby: or missing someone Libi: In the show he'd definitely have a tragic backstory that made it alright he was so rude Bobby: definitely 💔 Libi: 🤔 Libi: Maybe his son died young and he never got to buy suits with him so now he works there to punish himself because the accident was his fault Bobby: ❗ you should be one of the show's writers ❗ Bobby: wasted in the ⬛ Bobby: I was gonna say his husband to be died on the way to the wedding Bobby: he hated the suit he chose but he HAD TO ⚰ him in it Libi: Ooh, that's good too Libi: maybe his husband wanted to wear a dress but the family said no Bobby: he did manage to sneak 👠s on him before the burial but Libi: a tasteful 3-inches, nothing crazy Libi: 😂 Libi: I wish people were as interesting as we give them credit Bobby: might be when you find all these ✨Deaf people✨ Libi: Look, I didn't promise they'd be magical Libi: just that you can have the same experience talking to boring people at parties as everyone else Bobby: if they're not riding 🦄 I don't want it Libi: It was just a suggestion but alright, stick with me and my 🦄 Libi: **donkeys my grandma has Bobby: I will Bobby: 🤞 things don't go so far with Jake tonight that China needs to borrow one Libi: 😏 Libi: She wishes she was still in her glory days Bobby: I think she thinks she is Libi: I'm not casting her Bobby: ❌🎬🌹 Libi: Get a dodgy lookalike for the ⬛ Libi: she'll be fuming Bobby: Am would do it Bobby: she's great at the impression Libi: Depends which way this ⬛ is going to go Bobby: you don't want her with Jake either, I get it Libi: I don't want anyone with Jake Libi: he'll have to be murdered before anything real can happen Bobby: 1st victim Bobby: end of episode 1 Libi: They won't see it coming Bobby: he won't, everyone else will see it slow motion as the 1st scene and over and over as a flashback Libi: You're SO troubled Bobby: ☔🎻 Bobby: put a black hoodie on me Libi: Seriously Libi: You don't think it's a bit 😬 to cast you as the villain? Libi: like all the Bond villains with the deformities and queer coding Bobby: I already don't speak, that's every high school outcast Libi: That's also your brother Bobby: but let him get to 30 before you cast him Bobby: 😒🔪 Libi: or let him get to 35 and he can be your dad Bobby: he'll be VERY chuffed about that Libi: don't tell him I said that Bobby: 🤐 Libi: When do you think they'll have babies? Bobby: we might've put them off Libi: At least for a while Libi: my nan is SO welcome 😁 Bobby: warn her I'm on my way Libi: She likes you really Bobby: 😁 Libi: That's EXACTLY how she feels Bobby: I know Libi: Are you sleeping over after? Bobby: yeah Bobby: none of the others are, right? Libi: No, I've not asked them Libi: they'll give the game away, we can be 🤫 and act sober Bobby: or actually be sober if we want Libi: exactly Libi: I don't trust half of 'em, no offence Bobby: not enough of them have 👀 your nan 😤 Libi: I trust Beck but Am...not so much Libi: guess China taught her how to drink young 🙄 Bobby: she's gonna be ON one tonight Bobby: we'll have to 👀 out for her Libi: 👶sitting Libi: what about the guys? Libi: I've never seen them drinking, I don't think Libi: even if they SWEAR they do, all the time Bobby: you should ask them what Bobby: that'll expose the truth Bobby: 1 🍺 last St Patrick's day or whatever Libi: 🤔🔎 on the case Bobby: while I 🏃 to get the last bit of our order Libi: 🤗 Bobby: are you watching China's story? 😲🍿 Libi: ❓❗ Bobby: ❗❗ Bobby: I had no idea a house party was SUCH a big deal Libi: Oh God Libi: let me go see Libi: the boys are being coy, hold on lads Bobby: I call bollocks if they're trying to say it's 🥃🍸🍹 all the time Libi: Oh, they are for SURE lying Libi: I just want to know how much they've actually done it before so we know how hard we need to 👀 Libi: but OH GOD Libi: 😰😥 Bobby: like, is SHE gonna ride in on a 🦄 Libi: I'm going to be so underdressed Libi: and without a steed Libi: 😱😱😱 Bobby: I'll give you a piggyback in Bobby: and you'll look 🥇 Libi: She's really gone IN Libi: Jesus Bobby: was this a bad idea? Libi: Maybe? Libi: it's too late to back out now though Libi: all the others have been invited Bobby: 😳😳😳 Libi: How do we make this okay? Libi: Aside from looking after each other Bobby: and looking 😎 Libi: Don't leave me alone with any dude Libi: I am not in the right shoes to kick anyone in the balls Bobby: I won't leave you alone unless you're going 🚽 and even then, probably take Beck Libi: and you'll have to let me know if you want to be left alone with any one Libi: otherwise I won't either Bobby: I don't want to be left alone with anyone but you Libi: Then I won't 🤞🤝 Bobby: 🤞🤝 Libi: [we can skippity to any point or just vibe out how we want the pre-party with friends to be/the actual party, whatever's cool] Bobby: [let's plot it and see how we get on, like obvs you're having your weird food when he gets there and then he's gonna help her pick an outfit by making her do some silly dancing in each] Libi: [having a lovely time when it's just you two frankly] Bobby: [that's the tea, have you got a vibe for how you want pre-drinks to be?] Libi: [I think some of you, aka America 'cos there's no way to avoid how messy and sad she looks, and probably some of the boys whatever, are already going harder so you two cuties are like oh] Bobby: [she definitely has that vibe as we were both trying to put across in this convo without just calling her a messy bitch lol so that feels legit] Libi: [we should probably map out your main group at some point hennys but yeah, she's definitely a mess god bless, and I'm saying the Beck girl is more chill] Bobby: [at least give them names and roughly decide how many there are roughly, is Beck Rebecca Black or is she a friend that Libi gets later on?] Libi: [Yeah I think you can be Rebecca Black, there's a gal or 2 others she's consistently friends with but I'll use you 2 for now minimum] Bobby: [could be those gals and 2 or 3 boys then as like the core group and obvs Astrid but idk if you're coming to this party hen cos you are only 11 but also Drew is your dad so] Libi: [yeah I doubt you're dying to come to this but you can if you wanna] Bobby: [I feel like you'd love a party hen so you'd wanna come but then get there and be like oh because it's not the kind of party you imagined] Libi: [You probably know China sucks] Bobby: [you'd tell her to her face lbr so don't go gal] Libi: [she'd be worse to you than she is to Bobby, if she's ever acknowledged you so let us not] Bobby: [honestly, you don't need that in your life] Libi: [when someone else has a party, one of us or one of the gang] Bobby: [doesn't really matter but are saying all these friends are in Libi's year or are any from Bobby's] Libi: [I feel we could have a mix but 'cos of the deaf moment maybe there's like one decent lad or two from his year that are his friends, know what I mean] Bobby: [yeah that feels real, we're on the same page as per] Bobby: [I feel like that's probably the lad that's going too hard and America probably wants to get with him cos older but not to a creepy extent] Libi: [I vibe it, we can give you a face boy, but we just hang with lots of people casually but we don't have to name you all unless we wanna] Bobby: [yeah we said that Libi is lowkey friends with everyone unless they're dicks so, is there a lad the America girl's face gets with in that show we could use or is it just Noah?] Libi: There's another one, 'cos one of the storylines of s1 from what I can gather is he's Claudia's bf but cheating with America's face who's her bff, so predictable, we could use him maybe, I'll have a look] Bobby: [doesn't matter if he's not cute because we know she's a messy bitch so] Libi: [none of the lads are really but they're useable and we know Bobby's the cute one soz] Bobby: [she's blatantly the cutest girl as well not soz] Libi: [we know it's true even though we're not dicks about it] Bobby: [@ China calm yourself you're not that special] Libi: [seriously there's no need hen] Bobby: [thank god we can all mock you during these pre-drinks] Libi: [might find a ridiculous photo of some hoe outfit for you just to amuse myself] Bobby: [did you pick a Claudia outfit?] Libi: [not an outfit but a disposable esque photo and I'll just go from that, as we're not living laughing loving not gonna waste a lewk] Bobby: [other than obvs dancing can you think of anything else cute that could happen at this party before they leave?] Libi: [Hmm what's unwittingly cute and something you think just pals do but everyone else is like ok couple umm] Bobby: [taking loads of pics is a given] Libi: [definitely, idk why my mind has gone blank, again, apart from the obvious fact that people would try to flirt with both of you and we shut that down lmao] Bobby: [literally not leaving each other's side is pretty damn coupley tbh and he is carrying her stuff for her as well, like I picture them going off on their own for ages as well to like the garden or wherever so people think things about that because you can't even use the excuse you can't hear yourselves talking over the music lol but actually we're just shooketh about how wild this party is] Libi: [when you're just trying to hide from everyone else sincerely lmao, when your mum is so dickmatized that she lets you get up to drama and lowkey wreck the house every weekend, gal, just thinking it's bants like oh having teens] Bobby: [she's probably lowkey a bit stupid like Asia was, hence an easy target for shit men] Libi: [mhmm, soz to you gals] Bobby: [also soz to the squad but as soon as the bf appears we are leaving because Bobby will be like I recognise this energy and I have to peace] Libi: [can we call him gary tah] Bobby: [I was thinking about it and like realistically Bobby probably only moved in with JJ pretty recently aka when Cass went to uni and they weren't gonna leave him alone because Ian's not just gonna let them take him when they're 18 and even if they could they are living in the flat above the pub and like Janis has her modelling and they travel for that for a while so yeah that hit me bye] Libi: [yeah it's a couple of years at most] Bobby: [lowkey heartbreaking but anyway] Libi: [we know it's worse when Jimmy is there no offence boy but Ian picks on you is what I mean, he lowkey just ignores Bobby which is rude but easier to deal with when they're still around making sure you're good] Bobby: [mhmm] Libi: [but yeah, gotta remember that, now you probably live above the pub still but you'll probably be moving into their new house soon that they have when the bubs[ Bobby: [yeah you might've already moved into there before getting married, just depends how jj decide to be living and spending those modelling funds] Libi: [how exciting, and there's a room for you boy, until you are with child lmao then you gotta share or go into the basement moment] Bobby: [it makes me happy in my heart] Libi: [I think we should say you've bought it and then have a honeymoon and then start moving in because there's usually decorating and cleaning and all that good times to do] Bobby: [that feels right, I agree] Libi: [Bobby should already be planning to stay with mcvickers and Libi 'cos fuck you Ian] Bobby: [we have to because imagine all the cuteness and yeah mcvickers would like him because he's just a nice chill boy unlike all of theirs lol] Libi: [they could go after xmas so a bit of it like a week ish is in the holibobs, or if they went literally just after xmas and before NY, you could do the full 2 and do nye together] Bobby: [love that] Bobby: [and I'm still having you sleep over tonight boy even though you've probably been at that party for like a couple of hours at most so you can stay up talking about how wild everyone is and the Gary situation] Libi: [got to debrief, what's your deal gary] Bobby: [another question is are we saying you've been around a while or has it all just started happening and your mum is being extra] Libi: ['cos 2 different but equally as potential giving moods, 'cos if it's fast that's like AHH but if he's been being a dick for a while, then it's already established, fair, we are going to be forward to do most of Bibi so perhaps it's like he's just shown up on the scene now but she's had a few before and they never last?] Bobby: [yeah like he's already lasted longer than her usual who bounce after a few dates but it hasn't been ages yet] Libi: [like they already had some stability issues from their own dads fucking off but when this one lasts and is then an arsehole, it can get steadily worse, maybe even though their mum is p crap now she totally changes towards 'em too] Bobby: [exactly and it's okay to go to your nans sometimes but you can't both lowkey move in when things get more serious for this notp, literally imagine being your mum's shameless fave and then it's like well I only live and breathe for this man now so] Libi: [I vibe that she's always like this when she gets a boyfriend, one of those that is obsessed but they never last so we're back to all about me and my gurls but then this one don't leave so she's just 😍 and they're like teens so she's like you don't even need me as much now anyway yeah? byeeeee] Bobby: [that is such a real energy and reminds me of a Jacqueline book tbh I'm so invested] Libi: [maybe the vibe is when this goes down China and America have to get closer because they've both been forced out, so then that's how we get them both in the circle, it'd probably make sense for you to be America, 'cos that's the established relationship so far with Libi, and it'd probably be more interesting to build with China, but we can also do sibling shit and America getting to know Bobby more because she's more Libi's friend atm] Bobby: [I'm so excited about this, not soz to the giantness of gen 4] Libi: [we can totally put a pin in this and skip forward to do some of this if you like]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Give me strength so I don't kill a bitch Janis: serious Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: I can't fuck you if you're in prison, remember Jimmy: unless this is you proposing Jimmy: so romantic 💕 Janis: Can't believe you won't fake marry me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Jimmy: you haven't fake asked Janis: sure, trust you to wanna be savage about it Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: I'm giving you chance to be #goals and 💍 me Janis: that's the vows is it Janis: be #goals forever and ever Jimmy: do you take this girl to be your lawfully wedded dickhead Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: 😂 Janis: such an idiot Janis: but at least you're funny Janis: teach Mia something, yeah Jimmy: no tah Jimmy: I know the kind of shit she wants me to teach her Janis: 😒 don't Janis: I'm already this close to actually smacking her without that mental image Jimmy: wait til I'm off work before you knock her out Jimmy: if you love me Janis: as bad as Grace Janis: start selling tickets Jimmy: we all wanna be there with pom poms & 🍿 Jimmy: don't be shy Janis: yeah I'm so sure Janis: you'll get your chance to wear the skirt one day, babe Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻🎻 Janis: mm Jimmy: I'm gonna show up & 💍 when you're about to smack her Jimmy: put you off 'cause you don't want me there Janis: you probably would Janis: love nothing more than shaming me Janis: but I ain't giving you my location so good 🍀 Jimmy: & you love the angle but fine I won't get down on my knees for you Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: pissed on your own parade there, girl Janis: shut up Janis: distracting me Janis: gotta be on my A game, boy Jimmy: you're too busy shutting her up to make me Jimmy: & she don't need your A game Jimmy: a breeze would turn her bones to dust Janis: you on my side or not, boy Janis: ain't a tag-team effort between you and her is it Jimmy: nah I'm dumping you for her & this is how I'm letting you know Janis: ah well Janis: your girlfriend is about to get fucked up Janis: soz about it Jimmy: she can lick her own wounds 🐍 perks Jimmy: it's alright Janis: boring Janis: but if that's what you're into these days Jimmy: once I teach her what to do with that 👅 I'm set for life Janis: disgusting Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 😑 Janis: go away Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: how many rounds you going? Jimmy: come see me after Janis: you're rude Janis: but like you said, ain't gonna take much, is it Janis: sure Jimmy: good Jimmy: I miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: this is all easier to ignore when you're about Jimmy: I'm going nowhere Jimmy: still smack her though 'cause neither is she Janis: 👍 Janis: long time coming Janis: but I'll try not to kill her Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll help you hide the body, don't worry about it Jimmy: #peakromance Janis: have to be good Janis: it's how her dad shows he cares, appaz Jimmy: smacking her about? Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: or hiding the bodies of her enemies Janis: 😬😂 Janis: nah though, threatening legal action if anyone dares to talk back to her, never mind smack her one Jimmy: the bodies thing is probably true too Jimmy: I ain't seen Gracie for a while is all I'm saying Janis: 🤞 Janis: sadly, 'less Mia gave her wifi in her grave Jimmy: what's the point of 💀 if you can't liveblog it #duh Janis: turn your location on girl Janis: maybe dig you up 'fore you suffocate Jimmy: might do Jimmy: might not do Janis: obvs gotta make her promise to change her ways Jimmy: 👍🍀 Janis: you're right Janis: maybe just let her 👻 Jimmy: not an invitation for me & her to be #couplegoals though Jimmy: your 👻 lad only Janis: swear to God she better keep her ghost hands to herself Janis: or I'll kill her properly Janis: send her 😈🔥 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she'll be waiting for me there getting more 💕😍 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she can wait Janis: you said you're staying Jimmy: I am Jimmy: unless you send me away Janis: not gonna send you to hell Janis: have to fuck me off a lot more than this Janis: soz to disappoint Jimmy: not to be that dickhead but Jimmy: it's hell wherever you ain't Jimmy: so not much to do Janis: baby Janis: you're so genuinely #goals sometimes it hurts Jimmy: I'm not actually trying to distract you right now Jimmy: I swear Jimmy: I'm just Janis: hot Janis: I know Janis: ain't your fault, really Jimmy: I just love you Jimmy: & that is your fault Janis: I'll own it Jimmy: alright then Janis: not just 'cos I love you too Jimmy: course not Jimmy: but it'll do me that you do love me too Janis: you know I do Janis: a lot Jimmy: gimme more though Janis: how Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: other than accepting my proposal obviously Janis: alright 😏 Janis: please do Jimmy: 👌 Janis: right, this is actually happening Janis: accept the charges if I have to bell you from jail, yeah? Jimmy: I suppose Jimmy: make me feel like the tables have turned, yeah rich girl Janis: if you like Janis: roleplay, fun Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: keeping it #goals baby Janis: [fight] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: you know it Jimmy: start running now Jimmy: 👮🚔 Janis: way ahead of you, babe Janis: as per Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Janis: you'd reckon so if you saw her face Janis: that felt good Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: how long you got left of your shift Jimmy: hour & a half Jimmy: come here when you're done running victory laps Jimmy: I've saved my last break Janis: Good Janis: gotta channel this energy somewhere Janis: and I want you Jimmy: just don't get her blood on me Jimmy: this ain't the CG none of the customers are thick enough to believe it's Halloween Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll clean up Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: I wanna do it Jimmy: but we don't have time Janis: we'll make the most of what we do still Janis: don't be sad, baby Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I want more time Janis: after Janis: not that long to wait Jimmy: it feels like Janis: always does Janis: whenever we have to be around other people even Jimmy: you reckon it's ever getting any easier or nah Jimmy: 'cause bit rude Janis: try and be less fuckable Janis: idk Jimmy: how Janis: alright bighead Janis: true but Janis: no one likes a showoff Jimmy: you do Janis: bit Jimmy: loads Janis: maybe Janis: if you really make the most of your break, like Jimmy: no challenge but still accepted Jimmy: I want you so much Janis: you know I love you Jimmy: I love you too Janis: I'm glad you exist Janis: everyone else is shit Jimmy: you Jimmy: you're the only one I care about Jimmy: let's go somewhere when I'm done here Jimmy: I'll call in sick tomorrow Jimmy: it don't even matter Janis: okay Janis: if you're sure obviously I want to Janis: where Jimmy: let's just not come back until my next shift Jimmy: fuck school Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: yeah? Janis: I don't care Janis: anywhere with you Jimmy: we can just get on a train or whatever then Jimmy: I don't give a fuck either Janis: my nan and granddad have a caravan not far away Janis: but far enough Janis: might work Jimmy: is anyone else in your massive family likely to be using it Janis: eurgh Janis: shouldn't be but Janis: how to subtly check without telling everyone where we are 🙄 Jimmy: it's alright we'll just leave if anyone else turns up Janis: it'd only be nan and granddad in term time anyway so we've got good odds of being left alone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let's do it then Janis: okay Janis: I'll hang around 'til you finish then Janis: no point going home Jimmy: I'll have to Jimmy: pack a bag & chat to the kids about it Jimmy: but we can go after Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Janis: they'll be alright, yeah Jimmy: you want me to pack shit for you seeing as you ain't going home Jimmy: all I can do is let 'em know I ain't just fucking off Jimmy: my dad too I'll pen him a note so he don't bell the 👮🚔 Jimmy: It ain't gonna be good but neither is this, here now Janis: if you like Janis: I don't care but you might once I start to stink Janis: probably a plan Jimmy: I'll just throw you in the shower, girl 💪 Janis: like to see you try Janis: have you know I'm undefeated, boy Jimmy: then you'll see me try Jimmy: I'm ready Janis: you've always been a very gracious 🥈babe Jimmy: oi Jimmy: come here & call me a loser Janis: come on, there's no losers babe Jimmy: easy to say when you're the winner, babe Janis: how bad does losing feel though, really Janis: you know it's still good Jimmy: I'll show you in a bit Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: 😏 Janis: we'll see then Jimmy: just remember to tell me how it feels, alright Janis: do my best Janis: you do make it hard to speak though sometimes so Jimmy: do my best Jimmy: please be on your way Janis: I am Janis: time me if you wanna Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 👌 nerd Janis: [5 mins or w/e] Janis: come out here and say that to my face Jimmy: [does] Janis: [kisses his face] Jimmy: [kisses her neck] Janis: [noise like oh hey] Jimmy: [tells her how long she took to get there cos also a nerd] Janis: [pouty like nu-uh!] Jimmy: [pouty lip thing for life] Janis: ['I missed you' and showing him] Jimmy: [says it back & likewise cos they don't have a lot of time] Janis: [enjoy lads] Janis: do you think I should go get some stuff Jimmy: you should stay with me Janis: okay Janis: go make me a drink then, boy Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [we know the drill he's making it but looking at her like 😍] Janis: you're cute Janis: I can't wait to go Jimmy: you Jimmy: you can go to mine & pack for us & make it quicker Janis: I could Janis: still have to talk to the kids though Jimmy: just don't pack the 🐶 Jimmy: can give 'em a ring though Jimmy: might not even be there Janis: 💔 but baby Janis: cool, long as you're sure Jimmy: [shrugs at her from behind the counter] Jimmy: it ain't gonna go decent however I say it Jimmy: so whatever Janis: you still wanna though Jimmy: we're going Jimmy: if I have to listen to every dickhead talking about your #girlfight for the next week I'll 💀💀💀 Janis: 🙄 Janis: she thought Janis: got the scratches to prove it Jimmy: sexy Jimmy: but it's not gonna convince me to stay here Janis: I ain't trying to convince you Jimmy: you've already convinced me to go Jimmy: I've got the marks to prove it too Janis: 😏 Janis: trust me, you had more fun than I did Janis: even if it was pretty satisfying Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you'll have fun with me Jimmy: if you ain't had enough just now which 💔 Janis: never enough Janis: not a diss Janis: brag if anything, your speciality Jimmy: good save, girl Jimmy: come get your smoothie Janis: okay lemme just enjoy the view for a sec longer Janis: [then does] Jimmy: lemme just enjoy that view for as long as possible Janis: knew there was a reason you were asking me to leave Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [keeps looking back] Janis: stop looking at me like that Jimmy: [gives her an even hotter look instead cos he be like that] Jimmy: miss you already Janis: I definitely miss you more Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: sounds like a challenge that Janis: challenge to behave Janis: for once Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I give you a minute before you're changing your mind & wanting me not to Janis: 💪 Janis: challenge accepted Janis: I'm tough, tah Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I only wanna be 💕 Janis: you're rude Jimmy: if you like Janis: you know how bad I want you but we can't Janis: so very rude Janis: actually Jimmy: we can Jimmy: just Jimmy: another ⏲ going for that Janis: it's not long is it Janis: make it worth it Jimmy: when you've got to mine, packed and 🐶💕 I'll be done Jimmy: promise Janis: okay Janis: we can do this Janis: think how long we're gonna have Janis: just us Janis: and nothing to do Jimmy: just you to do Janis: not a chore, is it? Jimmy: ask me at the end of the week Janis: 😂 piss off Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: you love dickheads but do you love 'em 24/7 Janis: like we spend loads of time apart as is 😏 Janis: don't worry, there's more than one room if you're testing me Jimmy: 😂 piss off Janis: but I ain't getting in those tiny twin beds so Janis: be nice Jimmy: I am Jimmy: always nice me Janis: nah Janis: but I wouldn't like you if you were Jimmy: I reckon I could still get you to like me Janis: really? Janis: is this you admitting you are a bit of a 🤓 Jimmy: I'm admitting nowt til we're out of reach of the 👮🚔 Jimmy: life of crime starts so soon Janis: watch out Skerries Janis: 👊 Jimmy: Bonnie & Clyde 39 Janis: I'll straighten my hair so I can get my #whitepassing priviledge then 👍 Jimmy: weren't there a promise about never doing nowt like that Jimmy: except you reckoned you never would anyway Jimmy: don't 💔 me that ain't part of the crime spree Janis: well excuse me for not wanting to be shot, white boy 😂 Jimmy: if you ain't willing to die for me, Juliet we can call this off right here Janis: I thought I told you to stop being so suicide-pact-y Janis: don't want anyone to actually ring garda, like Jimmy: you say suicide pacty I say #ultiimategoals Jimmy: but FINE 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: don't Janis: actually giving out gracie vibes and terrifying me Jimmy: #whenyouvetakenthewrongtwinontherun Janis: ask her Janis: sure she's still up for it Jimmy: don't Jimmy: course she is Janis: you're such a cocky dickhead Jimmy: why you like me Janis: 😒 Janis: why she does too, obviously Jimmy: ain't my fault you two are #twinning with your tastes, girl Janis: fuck off Janis: you ain't had to misfortune of meeting any of her exes Jimmy: just the one Janis: he don't count Jimmy: my KO still does though Jimmy: & do any of 'em count as exes if she's fucking 'em still Jimmy: arguably not Janis: shut up Janis: don't be gross Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: I ain't suggesting you join in or owt Jimmy: me either Janis: why are we talking about her Jimmy: you brought her up Jimmy: & her exes Janis: well now I'm ending it Jimmy: alright Janis: take the dog for a shit whilst I'm at it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: write my dad a note Jimmy: such a way with words you Janis: ha Janis: funny Janis: he'll say I've kidnapped you just to fuck w me Jimmy: nah he'll say I've legged it Jimmy: loves to tell the others I don't give a shit & he does Jimmy: he can't turn 'em against you with that big house & dog training 🏆🏆 Janis: can definitely buy love Jimmy: if not love then less hatred Janis: works for me Jimmy: works for Ian too Jimmy: fucked himself on respect though Jimmy: don't have enough of a wage packet for that Janis: 💔 Janis: don't know how many times I've told him we could be bezzie mates Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're fucking the wrong family member for that one Jimmy: even if you were doing him it'd be a stretch Janis: why you tryna hurt me rn Jimmy: save him a job Jimmy: since he don't do the ones he has Janis: too good, you Jimmy: yeah Janis: tragedy Jimmy: 🎭 Jimmy: let's say it's a comedy Janis: if you like Janis: again, works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you ain't unlocked enough 💕 or 💸 to reveal my tragic backstory, soz Janis: backatcha Jimmy: works for me Janis: she's pissed everywhere Janis: 😑 Janis: gonna need to start charging more Jimmy: send Ian the bill Jimmy: he'll love that Jimmy: also feel free to leave it for him to sort Janis: we all know she's your 💕 Jimmy: yours Janis: sure Janis: whatever you say Janis: I'll keep your secret Jimmy: just 'cause you've given yours away by being so blatant Jimmy: leave it & me out tah Janis: you wish Janis: 🖕 Janis: such a mystery Jimmy: you wish, Jillian Janis: mhmm Janis: now who's blatant Jimmy: open book with a forgettable name you Janis: then forget it Jimmy: I do Jimmy: loads Jimmy: just happened then Janis: forget us going away if you're gonna be such a twat Jimmy: what are you on about Jimmy: I'm a twat everywhere & anywhere Janis: whatever Janis: go do some work Janis: ain't in the mood Jimmy: you're not serious Janis: we can still go Janis: just Jimmy: what Janis: I don't know Janis: genuinely Janis: forget it Jimmy: has that worked any time you've said it Jimmy: or made things weird Janis: so it's all my fault Janis: cool Jimmy: did I say that Jimmy: nah I said telling me to forget it ain't gonna make it happen Janis: you also said I make things weird all the time so Jimmy: you do Jimmy: so do I Janis: not what you said Jimmy: you were being weird before I said it so Jimmy: what's the problem Janis: I just don't want to think about my family Janis: let alone talk about them Janis: that's what this is about, alright Jimmy: it weren't like I wanna hear about 'em Jimmy: no begging here Janis: don't then Janis: hear enough without you adding your voice to the conversation Jimmy: a conversation you started Jimmy: but yeah whatever I'll shut up Jimmy: like you said, loads of work I could be doing Janis: if you like Janis: bye then Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: which you obviously do Janis: I'm telling you I don't Jimmy: you're also telling me to shut up Jimmy: so what the fuck do you want me to do Janis: why do I have to know Janis: work it out Jimmy: why do I have to work it out Jimmy: like this is a challenge all of a sudden Janis: it is Janis: ask anyone Janis: if you don't want to then don't Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: no it's not Jimmy: if you don't want to push me away then don't Janis: as if it's as easy as choosing Jimmy: it's trying which ain't easy but what the fuck is Jimmy: this? Jimmy: I don't think so Janis: I am trying Jimmy: good Jimmy: when you wanna try harder you know where I am Janis: fuck off Janis: you patronizing prick Jimmy: that's the easy route right there Jimmy: take it Jimmy: go on Janis: no it ain't Janis: 'cos I need to go Jimmy: then go Jimmy: like I said, easy Janis: I wanted to go with you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I was gonna go with you dickhead Janis: well you ruined it Janis: yeah, you Jimmy: fuck you Janis: fuck you first Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: blame me Jimmy: on you go Janis: yeah whatever Janis: take what I can get Jimmy: lucky you Janis: 🍀 Janis: call me rich girl whilst you're at it Janis: hit all the  fuck you marks Jimmy: so you can blame me for what you've got & I've not Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: it's not me that brings it up Janis: constantly Jimmy: you don't wanna bring anything up Jimmy: I got that Janis: oh I'm sorry but you established we ain't ready for the tragic backstory did you not Jimmy: & that means we'll just fuck forever & never talk about anything, yeah Jimmy: that & you can run off whenever the fuck you need Janis: you said you don't want to talk about them either so why the hell does this matter even Janis: and I keep saying, I'm not going without you Janis: I did it once to you Janis: once Jimmy: I could give a fuck about them Jimmy: you're the one being a dickhead Jimmy: what matters is you could go whenever you like Jimmy: I'm the one who has to jump through a million hoops to do anything Jimmy: that I need Janis: Okay I'm sorry that you have family and obligations Janis: I already felt bad, actually Janis: I'm not forcing you to go Jimmy: nah you're just stopping me Jimmy: when I want to Jimmy: & fuck knows why even Janis: I ain't said you can't Jimmy: but I can't Janis: not because of me Jimmy: it's all my fault, you've already said Janis: no Janis: not what I meant Janis: 'cos of the kids Jimmy: it ain't their fault I ain't going Jimmy: or if I can't Jimmy: they didn't ask for this Janis: I didn't say fault Janis: it's just why Jimmy: it ain't why Jimmy: that's 'cause of my mum & dad Janis: well, yeah Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: it's been stupid for ages Janis: then stop being so Janis: pedantic Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Janis: or nah Jimmy: gotta be Janis: it don't Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you any more Jimmy: so yeah it does Janis: is that enough Janis: serious Jimmy: like I said, gotta be Janis: Jim Janis: come on, that's bullshit Janis: we're not doing that Jimmy: you can bring as much bollocks as you want to this convo & say that to me Jimmy: alright then Janis: I mean Janis: fucking hell Janis: let me fix it Jimmy: you can't put all the blame on me & then be the one to fix it Jimmy: that don't even make sense Janis: I didn't! Janis: you just keep saying I did but Janis: I ain't trying to Jimmy: I ruined it, you said Janis: I didn't mean it Janis: obviously I did but sorry for not wanting to own that immediately Jimmy: have it how you like Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I already told you, I don't wanna fight about this Janis: stop saying that Janis: that don't fix anything Janis: it's as bad as forget it Jimmy: I don't know how to fix this Janis: so fuck forever yeah Jimmy: don't say that Jimmy: I didn't Janis: not to start this up again but you definitely did say that Janis: I don't want to Janis: but I don't know how to fix it either Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: you know that Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: I'll fix it somehow Janis: whatever Janis: whatever it takes not whatever Jimmy: tell me where to meet you Jimmy: as soon as I'm done here Jimmy: we can just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: for fucking Janis: the hassle Jimmy: I'm sorry for my bit of it Jimmy: I didn't mean to make you kick off Jimmy: or owt Janis: you don't need to Janis: it was stupid Janis: you didn't do anything Jimmy: It didn't leave it out though Jimmy: I could've Janis: you were just trying Janis: but alright, accepted, like Jimmy: give Mia another smack Jimmy: you'll feel better again Jimmy: & we can start over Janis: 'til her dad murders me or reads me my rights or some shit Jimmy: I believe in you, girl Janis: thanks Janis: don't deserve you Jimmy: yeah you do Jimmy: & if her dad kicks off I'll come knock him out Janis: hot Jimmy: you are Janis: nah Janis: I'm a pain in the arse Janis: naggy bitch Jimmy: you can be all of 'em Jimmy: it don't cancel out Janis: 😂 Janis: tah darling Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I miss you Janis: I've cleaned up and walked her though so Janis: welcome Ian Jimmy: I appreciate it Jimmy: I'll show you Jimmy: just come back Janis: you want me to Janis: I've already fucked your shift enough, I know Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I'm nearly done anyway Janis: okay then Janis: coming Jimmy: if you don't run I could be finished by the time you get here Jimmy: maybe Janis: be hard Janis: athlete that I am but Janis: take it slow Jimmy: do it for me baby Jimmy: when I see you I'll have to kiss you whether I'm still working or not Janis: um why are you actually being so fucking Janis: right now Janis: are you doing it on purpose Jimmy: I miss you too Jimmy: that's it Janis: thanks for not letting me ruin it Jimmy: I promised Jimmy: tah for not letting me Janis: I promised too Janis: know I make it difficult but Janis: you know Jimmy: it ain't like I make it any less Jimmy: you know I'd rather fight with you than be around anyone else Jimmy: just don't leave Janis: I ain't trying to give you anything else in your life to worry about or stress or Janis: but I won't Janis: swear on my life Jimmy: I worry about you all the time Jimmy: that's just Jimmy: giving a shit Jimmy: I'm never gonna stop doing that Janis: I'm Janis: not used to liking that Janis: or wanting it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm not used to doing it 'cause I want to though so I get it Jimmy: you're not an obligation to me & that's weird but Jimmy: how I like it Janis: 'cause Janis: the way family 'cares' Janis: it does fuck all Janis: makes everything worse, usually Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you know how my dad 'cares' so Jimmy: but you're more than family to me Janis: yeah Janis: I feel it too Jimmy: can we still go Janis: yes Janis: 'course Janis: we both still need to Janis: even if you wanna ignore me the whole time, you have to come Jimmy: that isn't what I want Jimmy: I want Jimmy: you Janis: good Janis: that's all I want too Jimmy: I'm gonna make everything better again Jimmy: we'll just leave everything behind like we planned Janis: it'll be good Janis: we're so good Janis: honest Jimmy: I love you so fucking much, alright Jimmy: forever still Janis: forever and ever and ever okay Jimmy: I swear I'm never gonna leave you Jimmy: I don't care if it's hard sometimes Jimmy: it's the easiest thing I've got Jimmy: & everything I want Janis: I love you Janis: I'm not losing this Janis: you Jimmy: me either Jimmy: I need you Janis: its mutual Janis: you know Janis: so fucking much Janis: I don't even know what I did before Janis: or how Janis: for so long Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & I need you to know too that it ain't always gonna be like this Jimmy: we can leave for real soon Jimmy: we won't have to come back Janis: you mean it Janis: 'cos don't say it otherwise I can't Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you might have to wait longer than you wanna but Jimmy: if you can then we can Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: not gonna be this young forever Jimmy: 👵👴💕 Janis: that's all I've wanted since 👶 basically so Janis: and yeah, know you're buzzing for that Janis: only reason you're sticking around, yeah Jimmy: when's your birthday Jimmy: we can go after that Janis: 13th October Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you reckon they'll give less of a shit, like legally Janis: 'cos we'll be 16 Jimmy: the 👮🚔 will be if Ian gives 'em a bell Jimmy: that works for me Jimmy: he'll only bother when he figures out that we're staying away Janis: yeah Janis: exactly Janis: can't make you come home Jimmy: it don't look good your ex & your kid both doing one but we'll be long gone by then Jimmy: so he can be as fuming as he wants Janis: and give a shit about making him look good Jimmy: the kids will still have me on the end of the phone Jimmy: that's all that matters Janis: yeah Janis: we can make it work Janis: we will Jimmy: we have to Janis: promise Jimmy: trial run starts in a bit then Janis: it's easy Janis: if you can hack it being a bit rough in the beginning Jimmy: I can handle you being a massive dickhead so I reckon I've got it Janis: 😏 okay Janis: letting that slide Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're allowed like Janis: three lowblows, I reckon Janis: then it's business as usual Jimmy: how many have I done? Janis: I'll be fair and count from that one Jimmy: alright Janis: don't waste 'em, babe Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: just sayin' Janis: got a week to deal with me, you know Janis: s'a long time Jimmy: not long enough Jimmy: I don't wanna come back & we ain't even left Janis: I know Janis: if we had somewhere we could be alone proper Janis: it wouldn't be as shit, still a lot but you know Jimmy: really fucked you over by making Dublin into 'something' Jimmy: no squats about now Janis: defs is, just gotta be in the right wrong postcode Jimmy: you reckon? Jimmy: sort it out then, rich girl Janis: yeah, gonna need to kill that nickname or we'll both be 👻 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: no promises Janis: not saying you have to remember my name Janis: not going that hard Jimmy: if you find us somewhere I will Janis: hold you to that Jimmy: you can Janis: I'm outside if you can have a quick 🚬 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: gimme a sec to finish this bollocks & then it's over with Janis: 👍 ain't going anywhere without you Jimmy: good Jimmy: don't Jimmy: [after a realistic number of minutes to get shit done, a wild Jimothy appears] Janis: [leaning on the wall like a cool bitch just like sup] Jimmy: [kisses her like he said he would as soon as he saw her & it's such a good one like use that wall boy] Janis: ['well, shit'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like 😍] Janis: [kisses him now she knows they're good, pulling him closer always] Jimmy: [just let them have a lil make out moment cos deserved] Janis: [then taking his hand like c'mon 'cos excited to gtfo] Jimmy: [handholding & walking but he's also 🚬 cos hasn't had chance since when] Janis: ['should we go shop and get load of ready meals for the kids?] Jimmy: [is looking at her even more hearteyes cos that's why he loves you bitch that's such a good idea & so nice bye, does remember to nod though eventually] Janis: [smiles like cool 'cos she ain't gonna see it as a big thing obvs, 'yeah, they ain't all unhealthy as fuck nowadays but even Bobs could do that if he needed so'] Jimmy: [kisses her again cos so nice & also her smiling kills him always so] Jimmy: what do we need? Janis: not much Janis: we'll have a bed and water and all the shit we need in the caravan so Janis: cash for food and some clothes, if you insist, like Jimmy: easy Jimmy: no need to piss about for ages Janis: [nods] Janis: seriously, enough of that as is Jimmy: yeah Janis: [keeps looking at him 'cos can't help it] Jimmy: [more kisses cos he can't help that either] Janis: [puts her forehead to his and is just saying thank you over and over quietly like] Jimmy: [says ILY over and over & also sorry because well] Janis: ['don't be' and more desperate kisses] Jimmy: [literally the hottest make out in the middle of the street or wherever like] Janis: [tryna compose herself so they can do this shopping and go to his but damn] Jimmy: [isn't helping by being hot af excuse him everyone] Janis: can you save this at least 'til we're on the train Janis: killing me, boy Jimmy: [looks at her all innocently but he knows exactly what he's been doing] Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: [gives him a look like hmm but not actually mad so starts smiling with it] Janis: hate you Jimmy: I hate you too, baby Jimmy: so much Janis: [makes ugh! noise out loud 'cos feeling that #frustrated by you rn boy] Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: just you wait Jimmy: I'm already waiting Jimmy: come here Janis: [does 'cos ain't too proud lbr] Jimmy: [more of the same cos no chill] Janis: ['Jesus'] Janis: are you ever gonna let me live Jimmy: not if it means I have to stop Jimmy: this Jimmy: [even more] Janis: ['Baby, please-'] Jimmy: ['say it'] Janis: [more noises 'cos dying] Jimmy: [goes as hard as he can considering where they are] Janis: ['Okay, okay, fuck! Jimmy, please take me somewhere right now so you can do more. I need it. You.'] Jimmy: [god knows where but he does lead her off somewhere cos same obviously he's made that pretty clear] Janis: [enjoy lads] Jimmy: [& now focus please thanks so much places to be] Janis: [🤤 through life 'cos blissed out can probably leave this here now]