#don't get me wrong. extremely high quality work. but if your opening act is a naked man setting his cock on fire and jacking off

[thedreadvampy]

my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight

and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.

and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.

HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."

I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.

in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

Overall what do you think of mythic quest? It's on my list to watch. How would you intrigue someone to watch it

(just want to preemptively say that I know this ask has been sitting in my inbox for months and I am so sorry for taking so long to get back to you)

I absolutely love mythic quest. It's my #4 sitcom of all time, which might sound not very high, but numbers 1-3 are taken by the good place, community, and it's always sunny, and I mean. there's no beating those. anyway

I don't know how much you know about it, so I'll give a quick introduction. mythic quest is centered around a video game studio, which produces a video game of the same name. season one opens with them launching their new expansion: Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet. the show follows around the different employees of the company as they each chaotically try to achieve their goals. there are a lot of sitcoms centered around a workplace (the office, parks & recreation, brooklyn nine-nine, superstore, just to name a few), so I suppose you could say mythic quest follows a similar sort of formula to those. but, I think it's super unique and has a lot of stand-out qualities, which I love. it's difficult to make something so unique, to do things on tv that have never been done before (or, at the very least, are rarely done) and I think mythic quest does a great job with all of that.

for one, the types of interpersonal relationships mythic quest portrays are extremely unique. it's hard to go into detail without spoiling too much, but I'll do my best. the show is definitely an ensemble sitcom (a whole gang of "main" characters), but I'd say the show focuses mainly on Poppy and Ian, and their relationship. but, they make it explicitly clear that they are NOT romantically or sexually involved. there's a few jokes here and there, but they react with disgust every time. their relationship is 100% platonic, throughout all three seasons that are out, and it is the FOCUS of the show. how many tv shows have done that? hell, how many stories, period? it's so incredibly important to me, especially as someone on the aroace spectrum, and it makes mythic quest that much more unique and interesting.

(disclaimer that of course there are some people who ship poppy and ian together, which is just kind of. objectively wrong imo. but yk. people can do whatever they want I suppose. the point is, that ship will never sail in canon.)

the ONE current romantic pairing is a lesbian couple!!! that is just SO wild to me. literally none of the other main characters have any sort of (canon) romantic subplot or anything. and the lesbians don't get put through a ton of heartbreak and unnecessary drama either!!! there's pining, there's slight miscommunication and the characters themselves go through some things, but the relationship itself??? pretty much thriving, even through the end of season three. again, SO incredibly important to me.

the character work, writing, and acting is also exemplary. given that mythic quest is already on your list to watch, you probably know some of the actors who are in it: namely, Rob McElhenney, Danny Pudi, David Hornsby, Ashly Burch, etc. The show was created by Rob McElhenney, Megan Ganz, and Charlie Day, who all obviously worked together on iasip. Megan actively writes for MQ, Rob stars in and writes, and Charlie has been pretty hands-off since the show actually got up and running, but who knows. maybe he'll have a cameo one day. David, Danny, and Ashly have all also been involved behind the scenes. I'm sure there's other stuff I’m missing, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head, production and acting-wise.

one of the biggest things that makes mythic quest unique is that, once a season, they have a "backstory" episode, which provides context to a different aspect of the show. the first time I watched season 1 and the backstory episode came on (it's called "A Dark Quiet Death") I had to double check that I didn't accidentally click on another show lmao. I didn't know What was going on. the backstory episodes from seasons 2 and 3 have more immediately recognizable connections to the main story, so they're easier to follow right off the bat, but yeah. the mythic quest backstory episodes are absolutely fantastic. it allows the writers to play with different story layouts, deviate from the established feel of the show, introduce different characters, etc. I could talk about each one for hours, but I won't right now. but yeah. those episodes alone would make the show worth watching.

a few other things I love: danny pudi playing mean, brad as a character in general, the chemistry the characters and actors have, the way it's shot is beautiful, the post season 1 specials (quarantine and everlight), how fleshed out and real the universe is (so much so that I thought mythic quest was a real game for a while), the animations they use as scene transitions, the multitude of background details that I notice more of on every rewatch, the sheer complexity of the characters, the diversity and representation (queer characters, mental health issues, familial trauma, etc), and god so much more. I could go on and on and on about this show. because this ask was so long ago it's possible you've already watched it but if you haven't please do! if you're not the asker and you haven't seen mythic quest and are reading this, ALSO please do! and let me know what you think afterwards If You So Choose. as we've pretty clearly established, I am always super down to talk about my favorite shows :)

TL;DR: mythic quest is amazing and I would recommend it to anyone. unique episode/season layouts, dense worldbuilding, great writing and acting, lesbians, hilarious yet occasionally heart-wrenching plots, complex characters, and so much more. give it a shot. you won't regret it 👍👍👍 (plus season 4 is coming out this year!!!)

[allegra-writes]

"Bad together"

Prologue: Benjamin Reilly

Peter Parker x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: none.

"And if I'm dead to you

Why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed"

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

"... It's a disaster! Look at her! It's like someone took a look at Black Cat, selected everything that made her sexy and then took it out!"

Black Cat. The name froze the young photographer on his tracks right outside his boss' office. He hadn't heard that name in a long time, the last sighting had been well over a year ago. He would know.  After all, it had been him, the very last person to have seen Felicia Hardy, alive or dead.

"What are you talking about? That looks hot af, not to mention badass!" Jade's persuasive voice reached his ears, making him smirk: It was no secret the chief editor had a soft spot for the young intern. And, on her part, the petite brunette was a firecracker. Poor old Jameson didn't stand a chance. "Come on, dad. Single handedly taking down three of the Kingpin's goons? That's impressive. It deserves to be one of the slides!" 

"Not if we don't get a higher quality picture. That blurry video is good enough for a thumbnail, but not for a slide" Slides were a big deal, they were the Dailybugle.net's equivalent of a front page, and if J. Jonah Jameson took something seriously, it was his web site. He prided himself in the quality of the "receipts" of his "tea", as if that validated the trashiness of the bullshit articles he posted, more fiction from hyper imaginative wannabe writers than serious work from real reporters. 

"Well, then let's get the pictures. Where is that star photographer of yours?" 

The photographer rolled his eyes, typical Jade. As if the queen of cool didn't know his name. As if she hadn't graced his bed a handful of times already. 

"That's a good question. Dolores, get me Reilly!"

"I'm here, Jonah" Ben finally stepped inside the office, throwing an envelope on Jameson's desk before throwing himself on a chair across it. He could feel Jade's eyes on him, almost like a physical caress, trailing from the long, slick back curls on the top of his head, to the muscles of his arms, threatening to rip open the seams at the sleeves of his white t-shirt, to his jean clad thighs. Still, he didn't turn to look at her, refusing to give her the satisfaction. 

"What do you have for me today, boy?"

Ben gesticulated vaguely with his head in the direction of Jade, and Jameson caught the hint. 

"Jade, out!" 

"But, dad, my story!" The petulant reply left her mouth before she could stop it, undoubtedly the product of years of habit. But she had the grace to look embarrassed and leave the office without another word, trying to save whatever professionalism she had left. 

Once she was gone, Jameson opened the envelope, flipping through the various pictures of a masked figure swinging around New York in a black and red suit. 

"Hmmm… these are good" the older man praised, staring at the images of a frustrated robbery at 5th avenue

Ben snifled nocomitically,

"There was a fire at 16th avenue happening at the same time" He offered, "we could use that. Spider-Man forgets his roots and leaves his old neighborhood to fend for itself, running off to save some pretty socialite…"

"Oh, that is excellent! See, this is why I like you, kid. You have initiative. Unlike these snowflakes out there. Oh, but Spider-Man is a hero. Hero, my ass"

"Well, when you watch your so called hero sit back and do nothing as your life gets destroyed" Ben shrugged, "the rose colored glasses tend to fall off…"

Jameson made a face at that,

"Yeah, about that… I'm sorry. For the role the Daily Bugle played on that…"

Ben shook his head, 

"You thought you were getting the truth out there. It's not your fault to have been played, along with half the world. Plus," he added, sounding genuinely enthusiastic, "you gave me this job. And now we can really tell the truth"

"Even when our idea of the truth is somehow different" The older man scoffed, flipping around a picture of Spider-Man sat on what appeared to be a hammock of his own webs, eating a hamburger and reading something that looked suspiciously like a comic book, "Still hung up on that high schooler theory of yours?"

"Well, if it talks like a brat and acts like a brat…" Ben took out another envelope, this time containing a few burger king wrappers and, effectively, a spider-man comic book. 

"Where did you even get these?"

"Harlem" was Ben's curt reply, and Jameson knew that was as exact a location as he was going to get. 

"So you still believe this is a copycat? Some kid playing dress up"

Ben simply shrugged again. 

"Well, there seems to be an epidemic of those lately" Jameson admitted, indicating Ben to come closer, passing a tablet to him, "Jade just handled me this, take a look"

Ben took a deep breath, steeling himself, already knowing what he was going to see in it. Yet, a part of him couldn't help but hope to be wrong. To hope the silver haired figure facing three much bigger, stronger looking ones as he pressed play, wasn't the same one he had spent weeks memorizing last summer. Wasn't the body he had found solace in, when everything fell apart, once again, for the hundredth time in his life. 

To hope it wasn't you. 

But when in his twenty-two or so years of existence, had things ever gone his way? 

Ben felt the screen crack under his fingertips.

"I've heard of her" he lied through his teeth, "didn't even think she was real, to be honest. Extremely elusive, and cunning." That much was true, "I don't understand how something as mundane as a security camera managed to catch her…" 

Unless you wanted to be caught, that was. 

"Well, I don't care if she's the fucking Loch Ness monster, I want an HD picture of her on my desk tomorrow to go with Jade's article. I already have a headline: New Catastrophe Jen wreaks havoc on Hell's Kitchen" Jameson's eyes lit up with glee as he weaved his hands up in the air, like writing on an invisible marquee. 

Ben snorted

"Don't you mean Calamity Jane?"

Jameson's face fell, the color rising to his cheeks, characteristic vein popping on his forehead. 

"I meant what I meant, boy! Now, what are you still doing here? You have 24 hours to get me that picture"

"I'm going to need 72," came Ben's unphased reply, "and I want twice what you pay me for the spidey pics"

Jameson's vein looked about ready to explode,

"48 hours. And deal."

Ben jumped from his seat and bolted out of the office before his boss could change his mind, not realizing until it was too late that he was on a collision course with a sweet looking short haired blonde girl. 

"Watch where you're going! Jeez!"

"Me? You're the one who crashed against me!" 

Ben rolled his eyes, but crouched next to the girl anyway, helping her gather the papers that had been sent flying on impact back together.

"Peter? Oh my god, is that you?"

Of course. What an idiot, he should had recognized that annoying, shrilly voice the second he heard it. It had caught him off guard, something he knew he couldn't afford. But how could he had ever imagine he could run into Betty fucking Brant, Yale cum laude, in the freaking dailybugle.net headquarters of all places?

"Sorry, sweetheart. You must confuse me with someone else…" He mumbled, lowering his head even more in a vain attempt to hide his face.

"Of course not!" She insisted, "You're Peter, Peter Parker, we went to Midtown together!"

"Miss, I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Don't be silly, Peter!" She chuckled, completely deft to his tone or the way his whole demeanor had changed the second she had called him by the old name. "How have you been? Oh, just wait until I tell Ned, he's going to be so-"

CRACK.

At last, the tablet that had been in peril ever since Jameson had put it in Ben's hands, the one that contained his assignment, met its demise, both broken halves falling to the ground, along with all the papers he had picked up for Betty. It was several moments before he could get the shaking of his hands under control, before the tar black rage inside him subsided enough for him to be able to move without shifting. But it had.

"Peter Parker is dead." He deadpanned, dark brown eyes finally meeting Betty's stunned blue ones, "Tell Ned that, he'll probably be glad to hear it"

With that, he stood up and walked away, leaving a confused and agitated Betty behind. 

To be continued...