#don't get him wrong he's thrilled to share eternity with them

[floralhellscapedatv]

i am probably forgetting/overlooking heinous amounts of obscure lore with this but hear me out...

[Spoilers Ahead]

theoretically it should be possible for at least half the Veilguard to be some flavor of immortal by the end of the game. behold, my list:

Emmrich - Fairly obvious example if you choose the Lich route. We are not talking about the choice itself here, this post ain't about that, this is a "if, then" bullet point.

Harding - There's actual dialogue/party banter that speculates on whether or not Harding is immortal after merging with the Titan Shade. Can't really say if it's true or not, but it could be! Call it a non-zero chance.

Lucanis - This is my first real Hear Me Out example, but listen. Listen. As far as we know spirits/demons don't die natural deaths. So what's the deal with abominations? We don't have a lot of examples and Lucanis and Spite are particularly unique what with the whole Lucanis not being a mage thing, but... I'm going to call this another non-zero chance. We just don't know what the biological effects of Spite are on Lucanis. We do know that spirits can inhabit corpses, so there's some more morbid speculation to be done there but I won't be doing it here. Anyway I think it would be really funny if Mr. "Why Would You Want To Be Immortal?"/"Everything Dies" was little a immortal, as a treat. (For me, the treat is for me, Lucanis would hate it.)

Rook - Specifically for elf Rooks, sorry other Rooks. Listen, it's a major lore fact/plot point that elves in DA used to be immortal. The Veil cutting off their connection to the Fade also cut them off from their immortality, this is one of the reasons Solas feels he owes it to them to tear it down. And then Mr. Dread Wolf Immortal Elven God himself does a tiny bit of blood magic specifically to link himself to Rook so he can do dream projections in their head. After which Rook proceeds to spend months living in the Fade itself, plus running around the Crossroads shedding blood everywhere doing a bunch of fighting. What I'm saying is there are multiple reasons to assume that an elf Rook could be considered as re-connected to the Fade, so theoretically it's possible they have elven immortality and just don't know it. Maybe Solas didn't realize that'd be a potential side-effect, maybe he didn't consider it relevant to mention with everything else going on, maybe he thinks it's funnier to let them find out on their own, or maybe he just straight up forgot to tell them, who knows! All I know is that this sounds like a perfectly plausible consequence of Solas' questionable choices to me.

Based on that last point i do think there are (admittedly much weaker) cases to be made for Bellara and Davrin to also possibly have re-linked to the Fade and unlocked elven immortality, but I think an elf Rook being confirmed to have been linked via blood magic to an immortal elven "god" is more compelling evidence.

do i think all of this is canon? no, probably not. do i think there's enough wiggle room to come up with fun scenarios, headcanons, and AUs? yes, that's what i'm here for.

[nethhiri]

Siren Charms: Chapter 21

Zoro x Siren!Reader

Warnings: Oral sex, Semi-public

Secret Service

The two of you were about to get out when the sound of footsteps made you shrink into the water. You were still, hoping for them to continue past the door. Instead, they stopped right outside. Zoro's eyes went wide as he heard the voices of Sanji and Usopp seep through the walls. There was no way you were both going to be able to get out without being seen and he couldn't stand the thought of being teased by Sanji for the rest of eternity about it. 

"Hide!" He hissed, putting his hand on your head and shoving you back under the water. He quickly added some more soap into the water to replenish the bubbles and hide you. 

Although you were about to dunk underwater anyway, you weren't thrilled at being shoved. Maybe under different circumstances you would allow it. You weren't shy about sex or anything related to it, yet there was something about this that was intimate in a different way, that you weren't used to and that you weren't ready to share. You grabbed your clothes that were still at the bottom and dragged them to where you were between Zoro's legs at the bottom of the tub. You hugged one of them to keep you from floating. A few minutes later, several more feet appeared in the water. You turned away, feeling wrong about staring at your crewmates' nude forms without them knowing. Leaning your head against Zoro's knee, you were about eye level with his softening cock. A small grin appeared on your face as an idea came to you. 

Zoro was already pink from the embarrassment of nearly getting caught. Feeling your body wrapped around his leg only made him more red. 

"You ok, Zoro? You look feverish." Usopp commented.

"M'fine." 

"Wow, Marimo, this must be the longest bath you've ever taken," Sanji teased. 

Zoro scoffed. "Shut up, cook." 

"Wasn't Ether in here before? I bet you were drinking her bathwater." Sanji whispered under his breath, "I would."

Zoro deadpanned him. 

"Don't be gross, Sanji." Usopp put his hands behind his head. 

Zoro replied, "He can't helP IT!" The last part of his sentence went up in pitch and volume.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Usopp repeated.

Zoro nodded. "Mhhm. Stifling. A. SneEZE!" 

The swordsman was gritting his teeth to keep from making a sound. He knew you were a dangerous little tease, but he didn't think you would mess with him when others were in the room. Another thing he was wrong about when it came to you. The first outburst came after you had pressed your teeth against his inner thigh, making kitten licks along the inside. The second was caused by you nipping at the tender flesh. He prodded you with his other foot as a warning to stop. 

Of course, you weren't going to heed it. What was he gonna do? Nothing here. Not while there were people. Every drag of your teeth across his skin made goosebumps appear more readily. You were facing him, so you could see what you were doing to him. His dick was still limp over his balls, but you could see it twitch every now and then, struggling to come back to life. Very slowly, so the water above you wouldn't move, you crept closer. His knees were spread far apart and the water was up to his neck, so there was plenty of room. You pressed your lips into his thigh, planting a kiss. You kissed up one thigh and then the other, giving him a nip on the skin right above the artery. Your mouth salivated at the thought of tearing into right now, but with restraint, all you did was leave a hickey. 

Above the water, Zoro was trying to keep his face expressionless. He was painfully aware of every little touch, every movement you made. It was hard to contain his reactions. He should have known better than to let a feral animal around his cock. The word regretful may come to mind, though when your tongue flicked out to touch his shaft, that word promptly exited his brain. 

You pressed your tongue against the underside of his dick, holding it with one hand. You sucked the head into your mouth and slid your tongue lazily around the tip, tasting the faint saltiness of his earlier release. It was still soft, the velvety skin warm with the blood thrumming beneath the surface. It twitched between your lips as you took the entire thing to the back of your throat. It twitched in your mouth, again trying to come back to life. You bobbed your head a few times, feeling it slowly engorge with blood. It gradually grew to fill your mouth, almost becoming too wide to fit. Your lips stretched to accommodate him and you had to add your hand as he grew in length. 

Zoro disguised a moan with a cough. 

"I don't know, man. You seem sick."

Zoro couldn't reply. If he tried to talk, another moan would spill out. He simply shook his head nonchalantly, sinking deeper into the water to spread his legs wider.

If Zoro had a problem with the semi-public act, he didn't show it. His legs parted for you, allowing you to get closer. His hand found its way to the back of your head, winding into your hair and pushing your head down. You let him guide the pace like that, sinking his cock into the very back of your throat, far enough that you might gag at any second. His grip in your hair tightened reflexively as he felt himself getting close again. You hummed a groan around his shaft, nearly causing Zoro to blow both his load and your secret tryst. 

One of your hands was working his shaft and the other went to his balls, gently brushing them with your fingers. You focused your mouth around the tip, running your tongue around the rim of the glans. You knew he was on the verge of finishing when his other hand entangled itself in your hair with the first. His hands pushed at your head, begging you to go faster, and you obliged. It only took a few more bobs of your head. You felt his balls tighten under your fingertips and the warm spurt of his cum hit the back of your throat not a second later. 

Zoro had shifted from using his arm to cover his face, leaning back in the tub, to bent forward, almost like his stomach hurt. He couldn't control his facial expressions when he was so focused on how good you made him feel. As if acting on their own, his hands went to your head. Fuck. Faster. Faster. Please. Fuck. He shuddered. Zoro tucked his face into his armpit so that no one could see his face contort with pleasure as he came for the second time. This time he couldn't avoid letting a groan slip through his lips. 

"Damn, dude. I really think you need to see Chopper." Usopp sounded concerned. 

"Yeah. We should probably leave. Don't wanna catch mosshead's stupid." 

Usopp and Sanji finished up and left, Usopp muttering something about not wanting to get sick. Zoro let out a breath of relief. He reached down, pulling at your arm to signal you could come out. You broke the surface of the water with a smug grin on your face, licking your lips. Zoro wanted to admonish you, yet he didn't have the energy, nor did he feel it was right to do so, since you had brought him to bliss twice in such a short amount of time. 

"You're a monster," he sighed, somewhat dreamily. 

You were confused. He said it as if it were praise. "Is that good?" You had only ever heard it thrown at you in a negative way.

Zoro eyed you. "Fuck yeah it is." He tapped the cut he made previously on his shoulder. It was only right that he help you out in return. "Come get your reward, little monster." 

Next

Tag list: @bbnbhm @zoast32 @chershire23

[ryuzakemo128]

Infinite thanks, Grazie infinite.

Pairing: Billionaire Joel Miller x Alessia Romano

Content Warnings: angst, cussing, graphic violence, traumatic past, emotional manipulation Trigger Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, death of a loved one.

Words: 2792

Note: Inspired by the song attached. I suggest you listen to this while you read it. If anything wrong in this related to the Italian used inside this, please let me know. I want to get it right.

Summary: “I have come close to death before,” Alessia murmured to her brother, Augusto, “I admit it did more damage than I would ever like to admit. I feel like I am the worst the earth has to offer them. Bane of all others.”

Masterlist Dividers.

Alessia, a relatively young, attractive looking woman from the Italian mafia according to my younger brother. Tommy. The older looking guy she tagged along with? He did most of the talking. According to him. She was not fond of talking to people she could not trust or would not try to trust either. As she worked on maintaining her sniper rifle in the living room. Clearly displaying the fact, make the wrong move. She would not hesitate to kill either one of us.

She worked on her sniper rifle as he spoke, not taking her eyes off it for a second. Part of me wanted to walk over to start a conversation with her. Instead of tap dancing around for the sake of, the guy speaking in flowery sentences. Which I drilled in a sense of total bullshit.

Yet I know for a fact, he might not approve of that action, and I remained at my brother’s side. For now, at the very least. Her emerald-green eyes, a stark contrast to her porcelain skin, flicked up to meet mine for a brief moment before returning to her task. A silent thrill buzzed through me. I didn’t understand why it did. I was certainly older than her by more than a decade.

A sharp jawline and a stubborn set to her mouth that made her look like she had seen more than her fair share of trouble. She also certainly did not want either me or Tommy to try anything. Especially if we wanted their help with this certain delicate situation.

A Forensics pathologist, specialist in death and causing death. Ironic in more ways than one. What should I make of her? It felt like she is eternally a self-eating cycle, dealing with death in all aspects.

It should have felt enough for me. Yet I saw how she carried herself. It unsettled me. A coiled snake prepared to strike at a moment's notice. The rifle packed away inside a gun case. Hidden beneath the floorboards underneath her lime green hammock.

I will always hope she never needs it. Ever. Especially not here. It would mean she never felt safe anywhere. It would mean it was a drastic enough choice was made to force her to bring it back out. An outcome I would prefer to avoid altogether.

Born and raised in Calabria, Italy, staying with her godparents in their Villa in America every so often. Sometimes once or twice a year according to their housekeeper, Gail Barnes. He would take care of the villa while they lived inside of Italy for the Romano family.

Meaning they lived here during the Christmas holidays, the month before December and the month after. Leaving for Italy again in February.

It was a surprise to me. They allowed us to stay here this year. They rarely ever let outsiders stay in their Villa for such a long duration.

Their trust was something Tommy had earned over the years. Though I always wondered how. I also did not really want to know in what way he had earned their trust so implicitly. Giovanni continued to speak to my brother, while Alessia would every so often look up to glare at the both of us.

Odd to see a 37-year-old man with the energy, excitement, and nerve of a teenager. The silver chain necklace, the open satin shirt, the flashy rings. It's like he hadn't aged a day since he left Calabria. Though, Giovanni looked more like he was twenty-nine than thirty-seven.

My skin crawled once I heard her silent prayers with her two brothers either side of her. Not the typical prayer I would have assumed she would utter from those lips of hers. It was more like self-blame than a plea for forgiveness.

“I have come close to death before,” Alessia murmured to her brother, Augusto, “I admit it did more damage than I would ever like to admit. My therapist told me it was good to write down how I feel. To vent both verbally and in written form, I do not feel guilty for surviving the accident. At the same time, I also feel like I am the worst the earth has to offer them. Bane of all others. Survivors guilt is what my therapist told me it was. Yet it feels more like my insides are on fire and everyone else is just laughing at me at all hours of every day. Though that is more like a me issue to go through and I will let no other hear of it. Not even the devil himself with ever pry into my darkest secrets.”

He wrote each word she had uttered into her journal without judgement, like a silent prayer going to a god who would not listen to her pleas no matter what happened on earth.

He was at odds with what she was telling herself. Even though it was the byproduct of all the death and misery they have become desensitised to.

Accustomed to it, it came to them naturally like breathing or swimming. Unlike those who would stick their nose up and pretend it does not exist.

“Mia cara mamma, nella morte sei ancora bella,” she uttered in a hushed whisper to their mother’s portrait, long gone, but never forgotten. Alessia held Augusto's hand ever so tightly. More for his comfort than her own. Held tightly to keep his own emotions from boiling over like lava spilling from a volcano.

Her older brother, Giovanni, comforted by her too, as rough as both of her brothers looked. Especially around the edges, from further away and from an outsider’s perspective. In reality, they were gentle souls. Taking in solace in the fact their little sister, Alessia looked so much like her mother. Little to no wonder at all to why they were comforted by still seeing her face every day.

Giovanni called her beautiful repeatedly, she replied each time with, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Giovanni, but thank you.”

I thought it was odd, why would he say that to her over and over again? Until Augusto, in a haze of a drunken stupor said, “Alessia looks like our mother, Giovanni is scared we will lose her too, the way we lost mamma and papà. He’s trying to keep her with us through her image.”

Giovanni glared at him, but said nothing, a silent admission of truth. The weight of their father’s death in a car bombing a few years ago still heavy on their shoulders. A tragic event that had brought them closer together but had also left a gaping hole in their hearts. A hole that could never be filled, no matter how much power or wealth they accumulated.

Their youngest sibling, Caterina, still a young baby, wrapped in a warm blanket, slept peacefully in the crib next to the fireplace. Giovanni doted on her with pastel coloured blankets and blue crocheted toys. Augusto doted on her with homemade food made with the love of a man who had lost his taste for life outside the villa walls.

Alessia doted on her by soothing her to sleep with her humming, a melody that sounded almost as if it were a lullaby whispered by an angel, but had a hint of something darker beneath it. She would also speak to her as if she was speaking to a middle manager, with the kind of seriousness and urgency that you would expect from someone who had seen the worst of humanity and wanted to protect the purest part of it.

Reading fairy tales to her while also inserting, "Don't speak to strangers" and "Never take candy from a van" was a bizarre mix, but it was their reality. Their world was a tapestry of darkness and the faintest threads of light. The house was still, save for the crackling fire and the soft whispers of the siblings. Each one lost in their own thoughts, yet bound together by the invisible chains of familial duty and grief.

"Never trust a serpent," into the storyline was something that was second nature to her. It was a stark reminder of their reality. Even in moments of innocence, the shadow of their lifestyle loomed over them like a specter.

Her brothers and her young sister would always be her first priority regardless of what the rest of the world thought of them all. Each time she would reaffirm this, they would feel relieved, hopeful, and safe. She had gone through hell and back. She would do so again, again and again. No matter what.

After dinner each night, Alessia would read to her two brothers, reading to them much like their mother read to all three of them growing up. Holding the old worn deep brown leather-bound book in her hands, reading from it as they slowly drifted off to sleep. Feeling safe in her care. Her words were like a balm to their souls, a gentle reminder of a time when their mother was still with them, reading these very same words.

Shutting the bedroom curtains, kissing them on the forehead as she tucked them in and she told them ‘I love you’ at the doorway before closing the door.

Alessia walked down the stairs to sit outside on the front porch for an hour before bed. After they were all finally asleep for the night. Walking out there to vape rather than look for a conversation with anyone in particular.

“You ok?” I couldn't help but ask her in a low almost seductive whisper.

“Depends on your definition of ok.” Alessia answered with a snort.

“Depends on your definition of ok.” Alessia answered with a snort. The baby monitor on her hip in case her little sister woke up crying. “You know how it is, right? I hope so, otherwise, this is a weird conversation to have right now. Good news, don't have to do much for mother's day or father's day. Though I have a feeling it would be more work now if my brother has anything to say about it.”

I offhandedly mentioned the painting of the large dog in the guest house, which looked like an Italian renaissance artist painted it. Just to prevent the conversation getting darker than it had already.

“You saw Butterscotch?” Alessia said, which baffled me since I hadn’t mentioned the name of the dog. “He was my first dog ever. He was the grumpiest thing we ever had. He would follow you constantly if you had sasuage or steak. He was a great pyrenees crossed with a saint bernard. He was the best, he also tolerated me bringing home strays like you two.”

Her eyes searched the night sky for a moment, the stars shining down like distant eyes, watching over them both. She took a deep drag from her vape, the blue light briefly illuminating her sharp cheekbones. “Giovanni painted that. He was the artistic one. Still is, but he doesn't paint anymore. He says it's not worth the trouble.”

I didn't expect her to go on a spiel about her dog like this, it was like a part of her had opened up, albeit briefly. “You miss him?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing without tipping the scale into something heavier.

“Of course I do. Hard not to miss something you love completely and unconditionally. It would be hard to forget or move on from.” Alessia answered. “I did end up getting puppies again of the same type some time afterwards. Giovanni was not pleased at first, but even he had to admit that they brought life into the house again. It was like a piece of Butterscotch came back to us. Just smaller and more hyperactive. They have their moments, sure, but it's their innocence that makes it all worth it.”

“They're like the first snowfall of winter, beautiful yet fleeting. You know it will melt away eventually, but you cherish every moment of it while it lasts. Though we have also adopted cats since then and they are more inclined to give you attitude, which is something Giovanni and I both love equally,” she said with a wry smile, her eyes never leaving the sky.

“Augusto is wary of me.” I confessed noticing how he had been eyeing me since we arrived.

“Yeah. He's like that with anyone, he needs to warm up to you like a feline or at least it will feel like a feline warming up to a human," she said with a smirk, “But he has his reasons. We've all been through a lot, Joel. Our walls are built up high for a reason.”

“What about you? Do you have any hobbies? Let me guess, knitting.” She joked, in a lighthearted gab, at the age gap between the two of us.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Not quite. I was never one for needles and yarn. I used to play the guitar, though.”

“Fair. I was never fond of that either. I did fencing as a hobby because it got my grandmother and grandfather excited to see me do something 'normal'. They didn’t know I was learning how to kill in close combat.” She smirked, a hint of darkness behind her humour. “But I suppose playing an instrument is less... alarming.”

“Guitar playing is a good way to relieve stress, though,” I said, watching her intently. “Maybe you should give it a shot when things calm down around here.”

“Maybe. Although, I am more likely to pick fencing back up than to strum guitar strings.” She took a drag of her e-cigarette, exhaling a plume of mint-scented vapour. “But I do appreciate the suggestion, Joel. It’s been a while since someone offered me anything other than a new target or a way to make a quick buck off my skills. I might even teach you to shoot better.”

“Well, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve when it comes to aiming and firing, but I wouldn’t mind learning from a pro like you,” I replied, a smirk playing on my lips. Her eyes lit up at the challenge, and for a moment, it felt like we were two kids, swapping skills in a friendly rivalry.

Alessia and her sweet quickly became something I had heard of, often  venturing out to see it for myself late at night whenever she snuck into the kitchen muttering how she was going to devour an entire thing of apple topped with butterscotch ice cream.

Alessia and her sweet quickly became something I had heard of, often venturing out to see it for myself late at night whenever she snuck into the kitchen muttering how she was going to devour an entire thing of apple topped with butterscotch ice cream. Like a chorus of rats within a trench coat scurrying to her bedroom to eat her little late night snack in relative peace.

Her sweet tooth, well known within her clan, her godfather encouraged it as a way to keep her sweet. The irony was not lost on her, but it was a comfort she held onto fiercely. It was one of the last connections she had to her mother, who had a penchant for baking.

Whenever she felt overwhelmed, she would retreat to the kitchen, whipping up a batch of cannoli or sfogliatelle, filling the air with the scent of warm sugar and cinnamon. It was a way to keep her mother's love close, a piece of home in a world that had otherwise gone to hell.

My gift of a desert got her teared up, puppy dog eyes, “Thank you, Grazie infinite. Infinite thanks.” she gushed. It was just butterscotch pudding, a simple little dessert I bought. She didn't care that I didn't make it, she just appreciated the gesture.

By the time she went to bed, “Goodnight, Joel. Don't hurt yourself getting to bed, though, with your age and all.” She joked, her voice a soft melody in the quiet night. I just rolled my eyes at her and said goodnight. Her laughter was like music to my ears, something I hadn’t heard in a long time.

Her footsteps going up the stairs, the small giggle and the gentle thud of the door closing. I leaned back into the chair, my eyes still glued to the TV. The leftover butterscotch pudding sat on the coffee table, a reminder of the sweetness that had graced our evening. The house was silent, the only sound was the faint snoring from Augusto's room and the occasional crack of the old wooden floorboards. It was moments like these that made me miss my own family, the quiet moments that seemed so far out-of-reach now.

[cryopathiic-a]

He had not seen it with his own eyes; so he could only count on the retelling. Just like he did for most things. People that came here all had a story to share; a piece of the outside world where he had never before ventured. Eternal Paradise was not a mere shrine, after all. There was a set of rules of conduct and it was strictly adhered to by monks and acolytes alike. One would expect its figurehead to be allowed some leeway. But if his parents and the monks had been wary of the outside world before, now there was no hope of swaying their narrow minds.

It had begun with an influx of refugees from distant villages. People who lost their homes and families, speaking of ancient evils and myths that had long ago been buried. Horrible narrations, really, about corpses digging their way out of family graves. He can remember a particularly detailed recount of a dead man walking away from his own cremation. Mentions of teeth and claws and blaring screeching, like an animal yowling.

Of course, religion always offers an explanation. Be it yokkai or Hungry Ghosts, it mattered little. People would flock to anything that offered them the least bit of solace.

In turn, Dōma's urge to find some solace from the endless chanting of those miserable tales was only growing stronger. Michikatsu called him airheaded, for his persistence to venture out there amidst all this commotion. Apart from it being dangerous in the first place, lest they get caught together. And he wasn't wrong... but then again, there were so few things in this life that brought the Lord Founder any sort of enjoyment. And this would be one of them. To see his little dream fulfilled and toss a pebble in the ocean. Would it bounce, like it does on the still waters of the water lily ponds?

❝ Well I don't. I have nothing to worry about, because nothing is going to happen other than I will finally get to taste seawater. It's really salty, isn't it? A man once told me it tastes just like fish. ❞ Clearly, the warnings were flying over his head. Comments about his family are promptly disregarded; because if they venture into that topic, the conversation will certainly derail. One child could be excused as securing an heir and whatever other horseshit they've been feeding the poor man. But a second? Needless to say, Dōma was not exactly happy being the secret — but it did hold a certain allure and thrill to it, because everything they did together was a risk. It was dangerous. And forbidden. And it challenged everything he had been raised to preach.

Besides, if they were ever found out, he had his own leverage to use against his parents. His father, in particular, was not the most pious man either. And his mother relished in the luxuries they received thanks to him all the same. He held no respect for them or their hypocrisy. Deep down, the Lotus was convinced he was above any judgement - divine or mundane. Besides, if what they were doing was so shameful... why did he not feel a shred of guilt?

He hugged his legs close against his chest whilst the other went about donning his various pieces of armor. It was very intricate, in their eyes. Even if silks were more to their personal preference, it still looked very imposing on his 'friend'. ❝ Besides, even if something did happen, you'll be right there with me. So I have every reason to feel safe~ ❞ Michikatsu had a sword, didn't he?

He watches the other fiddle without a word, knowing by now what this means. Few things can hold the Lotus' interest. This man has become one of them. From the first moment they met, until now; there was something special about him. As much as he knew most of what's in the scripture to be just that, words written by men and nothing more, a part of him was still influenced by the environment he'd been raised in. Call him superstitious. But when their eyes had met for the first time... it felt like they knew each other.

Ah, perhaps he was being a little airheaded, after all.

He would let his pleading grimace do the talking. His bottom lip quivered into a pout; and when Michikatsu turns away, he knows the game is won. Oh, the gleam in those prized eyes! They sparkle with excitement.

❝ Really!? You're really going to take me?! Eep, Michi that's— oompft! ❞ A bundle of fabrics tossed to his face thwarts the hysteria before it has a chance to fully blossom. And Dōma pulls them down into his lap with a pearly grin. ❝ Do you know how much I love you? You're the best! ❞ He cheers, biting his lip into a smile.

Something heavy lands in his lap; an inquisitive glare as he picks it up. A small blade. Its sheath glistens under the moonlight. Pale fingers trail down the design etched on its side. It's something simple; and pretty humble compared to the gifts he's used to receiving. But this isn't exactly an offering, is it? Michikatsu seems serious. They wrap pristine fingers around the handle. A priest has no business touching weapons like that; their hands are meant for a very different sort of labor. And yet Dōma briefly wonders if this one has tasted blood before. He's seen people dragged to the temple infirmary with stab wounds. Some deep enough to guarantee a passage to the next world. What would it feel like, if that thing sunk into your sink? Or... to sink it in someone else's skin, he wonders.

A stream of thoughts cut quickly when his companion highlights the urgency. They don't have that much time until sunrise, after all. And so he is quick to dress and tuck the dagger under his sash. He'll let Michikatsu lead the way out back and onto the stalls. And from there, they will venture out together. Oh, he could barely contain his excitement and it showed; as he reached out for his companion's hand to hold and gave it a light squeeze and his shoulders bounced with a conspiratory giggle.

[ameliawarnerr]

Evanescent

(She was the evanescent of his life– there and gone.)

Part 5

(Part 4: here)

Jake’s pov

“I never thought you would go to a festival.” Dan speaks as he sits on the driver’s seat. I'’ve been sitting on the passengers seat for twenty minutes waiting for them to get ready. Dan is the only one who has shown up. Amelia and Lilly are still inside.

“Neither did I.” It comes out as depressed for a whole different reason. Alex Graham, I can't find anything about him. I have reached out to a few people and they just told me to wait. Only if I had my computer, I would have gotten something in an hour or two.

“What’s up with your mood swings? You don’t sound this exhausted when you are with Amelia. Are you pretending to be happy?” Never in my lifetime I imagined to be having such a conversation with Dan. But something about him has changed ever since I clarified that I am not a traitor to the country or stole money.

“I am not. That side of me naturally occurs around her. And when I am not by her side, everything else hits me.” It's hard to believe the words leaving my mouth because they never do. The only person I open up to is Amelia but I can't talk to her about this.

Dan hums. “Everthing else? You mean, the government and shit?”

I shake my head.

“Then what?”

I sigh. “If I tell you, what are the chances that you wouldn’t tell Amelia?”

He shrugs. “Like, zero.”

I fight a laugh at his honesty. “That’s what I thought.”

“So what is it?” He opens a can of beer and offer me. I shake my head. “Whatever it is, if you think you shouldn’t tell her, then you definitely should.”

I have always relied on solving problems myself. Even in the investigation to find Hannah, I relied on Amelia for all the things I couldn't do. And she relied on me for what I could do. I have no experience in solving problems that require involvement of emotions. I do not want to ask anything of her. I’d hate to be the one asking her questions. I would listen to her for eternity but I can't ask her. I don't find myself in that position.

“I can't.” I simply say since I have no idea how to explain it to Dan or how much he’d care about my issues.

“What you mean you can’t? You got a mouth. You got a cerebrum. Work it out.” I can't help but to smile at how easy he thinks it is.

“If I could simply tell her, Dan, I would have. If it was anything about me, she would be knowing it by now.” I curse internally on how much I am sharing.

“So wait,” Dan puts his beer away, sitting straight. “It’s not about you? It's about her?”

I poke my tongue against the inner membrane of my mouth turning my head towards the window. I need to relearn how to keep my mouth shut.

“Is it an ex problem?” Dan asks.

“No.” Then, I realise something. She has been living for twenty years and would have come across plenty of men. Alex Graham, the guy who messaged me, could be one of them. “I’m not sure.”

Dan leans back in his seat, nodding to himself. “That’s why you need to ask her but you are not sure if you should ask her.”

I close my eyes, taking in how correct he is.

“Well, I don't know much about the shoulds and should nots. But I know that you should stick with the should nots for tonight.”

I open my eyes. He's right. Tonight is not the occasion for having such sort of conversation nor am I prepared for it.

“Or else, if you need to beat the shit out of someone, I'll be there. First row. No questions asked. I just love the thrill of fighting.” I thought Amelia was the only one who could make me laugh but I had been wrong. Dan can be funny too. Sometimes. Rest of the times, he's just annoying.

I close my eyes and let my head fall back. After a few minutes, I whisper, “Thanks.” When he didn't say anything I was sure he didn't hear me but then—

“Anytime, man.”

We wait for a few more minutes for Amelia and Lilly in a comfortable silence. Then the door to the back seat opens, and my eyes goes to the mirror in order to see Amelia. My heart does a crazy jump when I find her already looking at me from the mirror. She smiles and I return her smile unknowingly. When I told Dan that she brings out my this side naturally, I didn't lie.

Lilly sits beside Amelia on the backseat.

Dan starts the car. “Are you idiots ready?” Amelia and Lilly answer enthusiastically with a ‘Yes’. And I do no understand why they answer when they are being addressed as idiots but I do laugh.

Lilly starts a random conversation. “I haven't painted in a while. It's like the colors inside me are screaming.”

“You paint?” Amelia asks, astonished.

I knew. I did a background on all of them.

“Lilly’s an art major.” Dan says. “And I tried my luck at a law college. One year and I dropped out.”

I knew that too.

“What about you?” Lilly asks Amelia.

“I went to Everbetten Institute of Arts. I'm a drama major.”

I... didn't know that. I had planned to run a background check on her after talking to her once. After talking to her, I didn't want to know anything about her, I wanted to explore her, little by little. Even the information I took down from Dark Web didn't have much.

My chest tightens. The name of the institute sounds awfully familiar. My hand grabs my phone and looking for the screenshots of the information I got on Alex Graham.

Passed out from Everbetten Institute of Arts.

Irritation and a pile of questions fill me. I'd do anything to have my computer right now but again I feel helpless because even my hacking skills won't be able to find answers this time.

Dan seems to have noticed my stiffness so drifts the conversation towards me and I feel like puching his face. “What about you, Jake?”

I look at him and he gives me the type of smile that says answer or else Amelia will know something is wrong.

“I got into music in my teenage. Guitar, basically.” I say and the shock in the atmosphere is visible. Dan’s mouth is a little open as he tries to make sense of what I said. Lilly stares ahead blankly. And Amelia is looking at me through mirror and I find myself unable to look at any of them. “I’m not going to play it for you—”

“You are definitely going to play.” Dan says.

“Yes, you are.” Amelia and Lilly chime in from behind.

I sigh. I should have something complicated related to computers.

The flow of conversation keeps declining to more and more unsophisticated as we reach the festival.

As we get out of the car, my eyes fall on Amelia. I could finally see her without any obstacles. And she looks...exquisite and irresistible. Everday she reminds me what I would be missing if I had walked away. Everyday I thank myself for staying. There's so much I don't know about her but I don't mind. I'll be happily on her magical mystery ride.

The light dress she's wearing with shades of purple isn't anything special but if she were to be lost in a crowd, I'd spot her in an instant.

“Hi.” She says as if we just met.

“Hey.” I play along.

All of a sudden, I feel that she's too far away. I pull her towards me with a hand on her waist. Her breath hitches slightly. I love how she reacts to my touch.

“You look good.” She steals my words.

I look at our surroundings. Lilly and Dan are already looking for something. There's a huge crowd. I look again at her eyes to find the familiar comfort. “I have no idea what we are supposed to do here.” I admit.

She shrugs. “Neither do I. Let's just find something to eat first?”

I nod, although I'm not hungry for food. I'm hungry for every second I can spend with her.

I hold her hand as we through the crowd.

“Wait a moment.” She says pulling her hand back. She bends a little to fix the strap of her scandals. Someone comes in between us and she’s no longer in front of me. I spot her a little away from me. I chase but she keeps looking here and there. She can't hear me either.

The crowd gets thicker and it gets hard to breath. I get out of the crowd. My hand immediately going to my phone.

I dial her digits and a familiar sound comes from behind me. It's her ringtone. I turn around to find her. I smile but it is short lived. There's a guy behind her. He doesn't look like he's just passing by.

“Jake.” She calls out and I look her again. She gestures to the guy. “This is my friend, Alex. We went to the same college.”

Part 6

-------------------------------

Heyyy

What do you think? Lemme know in the comments! I love reading your replies and replying to you!

Thank youu

Love y'all

[beiasluv]

are you gonna do another part to the Druig sister headcanon? Like the non-canon version?

A/N: tysm for looking forward to my small text on my last head-canons. Here I literally thought no one would notice, but anywho, here it is ♥

warnings: no edit, curse words

*just imagine the rest of the eternals are their friends*

enjoy!

Druig wasn't the most thrilled when he heard that he will be having a younger sister. I mean- he doesn't really care, sprite was a pain in the ass.

"Druig, aren't you excited?" king mocked.

"Yes, of course, I can't wait to be a big brother," he replied. "At least she could be better than this soda."

"I'm not a soda!"

I have to say, he is quite wrong. You are more precious than he thinks you would be. (you really are ♥)

Druig would take you to the parks, beaches, or wherever you want to go.

He'll hold your hand like you are a lost puppy, finding its way in this big world.

He would definitely learn how to braid hair just for you.

"Ow!""Sorry, y/n!"

"Come on, Makkari, where to go from here!"

"Shut up and follow my hands, the left goes over the right-" she guides his hands.

In high school, he would be the most protective brother you could ever ask for.

Boys would be scared to ask you out to date, because druig is on guard 24/7

He would complain about your outfit, if it's short or revealing.

Druig would learn how to deal with "monthly stuff"

He is the quiet kid™ at school, not really talking with anyone, but Makkari (ofc ♥)

Druig would always sit at lunch with you, talking shit about his friends to you. ahem, Ikaris

You would rant about your days to him, sometimes even cry to him. He would hold you close and rub your back.

"You are strong and gorgeous, y/n." "You are the most precious thing to me."

"Now, go show them who is the loser here!"

No one dares to bully or mock you because they know about the eternals™ FAM. Especially, if you are hurt, Druig would be the first to come.

You are still a very tough girl because you learn it from the best •_<

Druig and you are DOG LOVERS. Since he is always constantly getting affected by people's thoughts and minds, he found it comforting in the presence of an animal.

Druig would bring home puppies, and you two have to hide them.

I guess some things can't be hidden forever. (your mom found out)

You would like to prank him a lot. From intentionally spelling, his name as "drug" To cutting his hair while he sleeps. Everybody wondered how tf did you not die.

He has to teach you homework while your mom is busy. It goes a little like this...

"What is the length of the hypotenuse of a triangle if the leg is 25 cm-"

"Why the frick I have to know that- I wouldn't be walking down the street and measuring the road sign or something."

"You know what, you are correct."

Again, we have our cupid y/n for Druig and Makkari. Ofc our girl notices his eyes when she enters the room. He would be like he was caught in a spell.

"Makkari, could you please watch over by makeup bag, it's by Druig. I don't trust him," you giggled as you signed.

"Sure, of course," she signed back. You turned around to wink at Druig and walked out. Seeing him, reached his arm behind the couch where she is sitting and giving a thumbs up.

You guys would share music A LOT. On some special occasions, you will give vintage vinyl. Most of the time, you just make playlists for each other on Spotify.

Druig doesn't really post a lot of things on his social media, and you will post some memories. (because you guys are mysterious)

Uni came and you guys move away from each other.

You like to keep in touch with him by face timing and calling each other.

"Life is pretty hard, and it won't get easier. But I know that I got you," he waved goodbye to the phone.

If y'all like it, any interaction would be appreciated. If not, critics are open.

today is a great day to take care of yourself. 🤍

[hapalopus]

Cross Your Heart Chapter 17 live blog/initial thoughts

@karkalicious769 I've been so excited for this chapter I went out and bought snacks to really make it a special reading experience. I can't believe we're finally gonna figure out what's going on!!!

I'm tired of tumblr's image limit, so instead of screenshots I'll just copy-paste whatever quotes I'm reacting to. And I'm on mobile, so I can't do line-breaks only paragraph breaks RIP

Anyways without further ado...

The image of Rook in Max's old 70s clothes is delightful and I need fanart stat! at least in my mind it's 70s, don't ruin this for me dfghgdd

"a tiny part of Rook was thrilled by his lack of respect today." THAT’S MY BOY!!! He's really grown as a character during this fic and it shines through in little things like this<3

"Even his eyes were the wrong shade of green." Yes yes we get it Blonko, you're madly in love with Ben and have memorized every detail of his face xD

"Rook certainly could think of worse ways to spend eternity. He was glad that he was sharing it with Ben, even if only one of them would get to remember."

"When Ben made no move to take the origami rose, Rook leaned forward a few inches more to tuck it behind his ear. Without his armor and gloves on, he could feel Ben's hair against his fur and had to resist the urge to stroke his jaw." When I tell you I had to stop myself from squeeing here. Oh man.

"Ben turned pink, eyes widening at the gesture as Rook's intentions sank in. His lips formed a silent "oh" HE HAD AN 'OH' MOMENT AAAAA!!! Good or bad, is there anything more satisfying than Oh Moments? no. no there is not

"Rook took a step back, even though he wanted to be closer." Excuse me miss?? How do you make the simple act of moving out of the way give me feels????

Paradox's dialogue is on point, I am 100% reading it in his voice!! And by that I don't mean the rest of the dialogue is not on point ofc, it's all great, sfjjhfdk

"though Rook doubted that the man actually had a doctorate" get his ass

""At first, I wasn't planning to speak to anyone at all," Paradox admitted. "I was simply going to end this timeline and move on. But you're close to Ben— closer than you should be, even— and I must confess to a certain level of, well… personal curiosity." For all the meta talk about how Rook isn't cosmically significant and how this timeloop has nothing to with him... it's oddly satisfying to know he's the reason the loop hasn't been ended yet. Even if the reason is less "your existence matters" and more "your existence is curious". Also, Paradox being able to just erase entire timelines is terrifying and I love him existing as some kind of eldritch being who views people as ants.

NO WATCH BEN CAMEO AAAA

"To demonstrate, Paradox snapped off the end of one branch. Everything that came before still existed, but there was nothing in the future, and there never would be again. Rook tried to imagine time just stopping and couldn't." This makes so much sense!! I feel silly for not catching on earlier, but then again it's been a while since I watched those episodes :3 But god, this is a really good explanation and suddenly the Eternity ending (or what I assume it revolves around) seems disturbingly likely o.o

""No, Ben can't be dead. He isn't supposed to die. Why—?"" THE CONTRACTION, I'M-

"Rook stared into Paradox's eyes and saw the endless march into infinity. He saw nothing at all." For some reason this really drives home how... idk, I keep repeating myself, but I really have no better word for it. Paradox is a terrifying eldritch creature. I imagine his eyes, matte and empty like shark eyes now. Dreadful.

"He was seconds away from launching himself forward and decking Paradox in the face." He should've :/

I always get a little bit of second hand embarassment when a character bares their soul like this, but it is a really good speech. However much I may dunk on Ben, Rook is right, he really is just a good person who does good things. And who can live up to something as simple as that?

And then the ending. If you hadn't been generous enough to share the date for tge next chapter I might drive myself mad with that "we need to talk" xD

Gah, I loved this chapter!!! So satisfying in so many ways :DDD

[doyelikehaggis]

The Vampire Diaries Verse (Screw-Canon Style): Klaus Mikaelson x Stefan Salvatore x Hayley Marshall | Put your arms around me and I'm home

Requested by anonymous

For a moment, Klaus can't feel a thing. It's like he's just there, floating in an abyss of nothing, without a corporeal form. Not quite existing, but just enough for him to be aware of it. Maybe this is true death, he thinks.

Or maybe it's his punishment for every sin he's committed in his life. Not quite peace, not quite hell. A limbo of sorts, where he'll be all alone, forever accompanied by nothing but his own mind. And he's content with that. It's not endless torture, and he'll take anything over that. There would be too many possibilities for ways that he could be broken.

No, this is right. This is what he deserves, and he is okay with that. In a way, he makes peace with it in that moment. 

Then it's as if he blinks, and things slowly start to form in the abyss. It turns from pure darkness to a light shade of grey, silhouettes and objects hazy and unfocused, as if just out of reach. Colours start to seep into the picture before his eyes, and his heart starts to sink. Of course he doesn't get off with simply being isolated for the rest of eternity. 

Murmurs echo around him, drifting closer, getting clearer. His eyes narrow, trying to pick out a word, something that'll help him figure out what exactly is going on. He's supposed to be dead. If he's not dead then the hollow could still take over. Everyone, especially Hope, will still be in danger. 

Laughing catches his attention. He whips around, on high alert, already trying to shift in anticipation of a fight. But his teeth stay blunt and human. He doesn't feel himself get stronger, or angrier, or feel a need for blood. Not even the presence of magic inside of him, the curse of the hollow trying to get free. It's all...gone.

"Aw, he thinks he's still the all-powerful hybrid. Isn't that adorable?"

Klaus goes completely still. His chest constricts, the air getting caught in his lungs as his head snaps up. Something won't let him turn around, though, let him see for himself. Fear. This is a hallucination of some sort. Probably caused by the hollow. Just a mind game.

"The cutest."

His heart twists, and he really can't breathe. It's not possible. Those voices. It can't be.

But he forces himself to turn around now, his heart stuttering in his chest. And there they are. His stomach drops and he can only stare wide-eyed in disbelief at Hayley and Stefan, standing so casually in front of him. So alive, their eyes bright and full of something he never thought he'd see in either of them ever again. Both wearing smiles with this look on their faces. 

"How..." he starts, but can't figure out the rest, simply shaking his head. "This isn't..."

The amusement softens across both of their features, turning to understanding. His mind can barely keep up, trying to process it and failing. It's the Hollow. It has to be. Even in death it won't leave him be, let him rest in peace. 

"It's real, Klaus," Hayley says, and her voice sounds so real. 

He just shakes his head again as Stefan nods, confirming it. He goes to step back, but stops when Hayley reaches out, her hand settling on his shoulder. The rage that had been building at this mind game he's being forced to play fizzles out like a flame underwater. It feels like everything inside of him stills, as if the whole world slows to let him catch up. 

His eyes follow her arm to her hand. He can feel it. The gentle pressure of her fingers curling around his arm, giving a squeeze of proof. Warmth emanating from her skin, and the closer he listens, he realizes with a start, he can hear her heartbeat. The same heart that he heard being crushed. The same skin he saw catch alight under the burning sun until there was nothing left of her. Yet here she is. 

Slowly, he draws in a sharp breath, light-headed all of a sudden. He lifts his eyes to meet her soft, assuring gaze. It's not a trick. He knows, because hallucinations even get things wrong, and only the real version of Hayley has ever looked at him like that. 

"It's real," he echoes back to her, and her mouth curves a little more as she gives another, single nod. 

He doesn't think, just moves, brushing her hand off to pull her into him. Her surprise is clear, but she hugs him back, arms winding around him. Klaus can barely bring himself to remember to breathe. He can feel her. Her small, powerful body in his arms, her hair against his face. Her heart beating against his chest and beneath the skin of her neck. She's real.

The second wave of realization makes him cling tighter, his breath coming out in a harsh gasp. His eyes move without him really controlling his actions. They lock onto that familiar pair of green eyes that are shining so brightly, still holding that same look that Klaus has never felt like he earned. That he thought he had missed his chance to ever see again when he heard of his death while he was too many miles away. 

Hayley pulls back, and despite the part of him that read every single letter she wrote to him wanting nothing more than to hold onto her forever, he lets her, his gaze still locked onto Stefan. 

"Well," he breathes out, "I heard you ignored me, as per usual, and did a lousy job of taking care of yourself."

Stefan's mouth curves into a grin and a soft chuckle. "You're one to talk."

Klaus can't help but laugh in return. He's crying, he realizes, feeling the wetness around his eyes. They both are. 

"I'll admit, I've missed you," Stefan says, and holds a hand out to him with dancing eyes. "Welcome to the afterlife, old friend."

Glancing at his hand, Klaus scoffs. He doesn't even hesitate in knocking it aside and pulling him in with a hand on his shoulder instead. Stefan instantly wraps his arms tightly around him, face pressed into his shoulder. Klaus grips the base of his neck and closes his eyes. For the first time, when he exhales, it doesn't feel like a weight is crushing him. 

It doesn't feel like he's going to drown in a sea of grief and despair, but is home at last. 

Yet again, he finds himself unwilling to break apart. But he forces himself to anyway, only he doesn't let go. He leans in without worry, without thought, feeling Stefan's desire as strongly as his own. Stefan, who moves to meet him as if it's the most familiar thing in the world, as if it hasn't been decades since they last kissed. 

In his heart, it doesn't feel like it has. Everything feels right now, like a rush of memories flowing through him, dropping every barrier he had in place. The same effect that Stefan has had since that day in 1922.  He just never thought he would get a chance to feel it all again, not like this.

A throat clearing draws them apart with grins. Klaus steps back and looks over at Hayley, her eyebrows raised but a smile glinting in her eyes.

"Don't worry, little wolf, there's plenty more of me for you," he says.

Hayley rolls those brilliant eyes that he's adored since their first meeting as well. "Still obnoxious in the afterlife. Got it. Are we sure this is peace and not hell?"

"Ouch." Klaus presses a mocking hand to his chest with a wolfish grin. "And here I thought you would be thrilled to see me again."

"This is certainly better than the last time we reunited," Stefan jokes, tilting his head. "Well, sort of. We're all kind of dead this time around, so I'm not too sure about that, but at least no one is trying to kill each other. That's good, right?"

Hayley doesn't agree. A dark look crosses her face. "I was hoping it would be a lot longer before this." She looks at Klaus, and he understands the glint in her eyes before she even says it. "For Hope's sake."

He presses his lips together, swallowing down the lump in his throat and the stinging still lingering in his eyes. The reality of it had slipped him for just a moment, but now he nods, smiling sadly.

"I know," he says, then draws in a shaking breath. "But she's strong. Like her mother. She can survive this." He glances at Stefan, laying a hand on his shoulder. "And she has Caroline looking out for her, along with Rebekah and Marcel, and Freya, and even Kol."

Stefan makes a noise at that, disguising the flash of pain in his eyes at the mention of Caroline. "Kol? I'm a little more worried about her now."

"Yeah, that wasn't your most uplifting speech," Hayley agrees with humour in her voice. 

"I knew there was a reason I never wanted to introduce the two of you," Klaus says dryly, and points a finger at them. "I will not be ganged up on! Elijah will be joining us soon, I assume, and the last thing I need is three against one."

"Oh yeah, no can do, buddy," Stefan says, patting his hand. He shares a grin with Hayley. "We've gotten pretty close waiting for you over here. I don't know if we can make any promises on that one."

Hayley shakes her head. "Absolutely not."

"Alright." Klaus drops his hand from Stefan's shoulder. "I'm going to wait over there for my dear brother, far away from the two of you."

"Yeah, good luck with that because we're not going anywhere," Hayley says cheerily, and Stefan agrees.

Despite the front he's putting on, he feels an insurmountable joy. He hopes they're right, because he couldn't bear to lose either of them again. Just seeing them together feels like a blessing, something far more precious than anything he has ever been deserving of in his life.

He would be happy to listen to the two of them tease and trade jibes about him for hours, because it means they're both here with him, and happy. At peace. He understands now why he's here, somewhere in the middle of the bayou. This is his peace. Stefan and Hayley. They're his happy ending, the one thing he never thought that he would get. He's happy to be wrong.

[nerdygaymormon]

Hello! First off, I wanted to thank you for everything you do with this blog, it has encouraged me so much. I wanted to ask you if you have any advice for me. I'm trying to gain a testimony of pretty much everything about the church, but I don't know how. I've been trying to pray and read scriptures, but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. The only thing I really do know is that if God is real, than He loves me, but I don't even know if He is real. 1/2

I don't think I ever feel the spirit, but it might just be that my anxiety is blocking me. I also can't seem to get very motivated to read scriptures, and when I do, it's very hard to concentrate on them. I feel like I don't know where to start or what to do. Do you have any advice on where to start? Again, I really appreciate everything you do. Thank you! (2/2)

————————————————————

That was a very nice compliment. Thank you!

I like the testimony you have, that if there is a God then you are loved by them.

My advice is, rather than focus on if the whole Church is true, or concentrating on scriptures & praying, start smaller. 

Think about the parts of the Church & gospel that are important to you, how do you feel about them, do you feel good about those things?

Here’s some that are important to me:

I can be together for eternity with the people I love the most

Personal revelation for my life

Heavenly Parents

Jesus is a separate person from God 

God works among the poor, needy and marginalized. If we want to serve God, we serve those people.

All people are loved by God and God doesn’t play favorites. All of us are alike to God

This allows me to embrace the parts of the Church that are meaningful for me. I can believe that prophets were inspired to reveal these truths and that the same prophets were imperfect and made mistakes. Future leaders can correct mistakes and build on the truths that have been revealed. 

For things that bother me in Church, I have a simple test. I have 3 questions that I ask:

Does that sound like me? (especially when they’re talking about queer people)

Does that sound like the God that I know? (all are alike and God doesn’t divide us into favorites as to who is better and who is lesser)

Does this fit with the 2 great commandments? (love your neighbor, love yourself?

Pretty much the things that bother me fail these questions, and I know whatever it is, it’s just not that important. Sometimes Mormons get focused on some small details that don’t matter.

—————————

I think belief in God is illogical and that makes me question a lot about whether I believe. 

I think humans have a need for religion and a higher power because we’ve invented many, many forms going back to before written history. With that in mind, I go ahead and give myself permission to think that there is a God because it fills one of my needs as a human. 

I don’t like saying “the Church is true” because it implies the other churches are false. And also if it’s “true” it makes it tough to say that parts of the Church are a problem and has areas where it needs to do better.  

—————————

My calling is secretary to the stake presidency. My stake president recently asked me and the rest of the stake presidency to share our testimonies. 

They talked about having a testimony of the Book of Mormon 

And if that’s true then Joseph is a true prophet 

If Joseph is a prophet, then the things he taught and setup are true 

And if the prophets after him are true, then the things they taught are true 

To me that sets up a row of dominoes and if a problem develops with any one of them, then they all fall. 

I can think of plenty of things said by previous prophets that we now don’t believe, and that could be enough to knock over a domino, which would then knock down the rest. The prophets aren’t perfect, they get some things right and some things wrong. Over time it becomes easier to see what is wholesome grain and what are weeds to be discarded.  

When it was my turn to share my testimony, I instead talked about the concepts that ring true to me, including the things that I listed above. And if those things are true, then Joseph, or whomever, was a prophet because he revealed a truth or teaching from God 

—————————

I think of the Spirit feeling like calm, peace, love, settled, feeling positive towards others, joy. Sometimes we call it the “comforter,” so think how you feel wrapped up in a nice thick comforter on a cold day: warm, safe, protected, snug.  

Or sometimes it’s a feeling of unease or befuddlement or trouble remaining focused on the topic, in those cases it means I don’t have the right answer, try again. 

We talk about the Spirit like this mighty thing that will make your heart burn or a voice speaking to you, and I’ve had that happen, but only rarely. For me, if ‘quiet’ could be a feeling, then that’s generally how I feel the Spirit. 

—————————

The strongest I’ve felt the spirit was in answer to a prayer. I was 18 years old and my bishop could tell I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of starting the application paperwork for a mission, so he asked me to go home and pray about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith and the Church, are they true?

I went home but didn’t pray about those things. I asked, “God, do you love me? All of me? Who I am and what I am?” (meaning can you love me even though I’m gay)

I didn’t even finish the prayer, waves of warmth radiated across my body and I got waves of goose bumps and I felt love, and in my right ear I heard “you are not broken.” That experience carried me for a long time. 

You said your testimony is that if there is a God, then they love you. 

If you’re up for it, my invitation to you is to pray and ask a simple prayer, “God, if you’re there, do you love me?” I don’t know if you’ll get an answer, but I hope so because that’s one truth I’m certain the Spirit can testify of.