#don't fucking get me started on the whole incel argument as well

[twelve-nights]

probably made a post about this before but i genuinely hate the whole "severus did all of that because he [romantically] loved lily" so fucking much. i literally do not know if it's something jkr confirmed or not, but fuck her terf ass.

i was about as romance repulsed aroace i could've been. i was not mad that she didn't get with me, i was mad because she got with the person who bullied and encouraged everyone else to bully me for my entire school year and had sexually harassed me. why the fuck would i NOT be upset about that.

[therichantsim]

Last night I got off the most disheartening phone call with a friend I've known since we were pre-teens and my ex-husband on three way. The friend is who introduced me to my ex-husband. We chatted it up for a good while.

⚠️⚠️Trigger warning⚠️⚠️

Anti-lgbtqia+ hate speech below the cut.

Then somehow the subject of gay and trans people came up. I thought I knew where my ex-husband stood because we used to talk about it when our kids were little. I thought he supported LGTBQIA+. The friend was getting sentimental, and my ex called him gay. Which was weird since my ex is very much in touch with his softer side and can be very expressive and passionate about his feelings. So, although I know it was a joke, I didn't think it was funny. The friend said [[his name redacted]] is not gay! I may be a lot of things but I ain't no [[explicit]]. I said, "even if you were gay, we would still have mad love for you." He again reiterates. "I ain't no muh fukkin' [[redacted]]" My ex says, "Bruh, chill out with all that. Gay people are cool." Then says, "I have gay family members and if my kids came out gay, I'd still love them anyway." Friend says "Nah nigga fuck that shit. I'd rather my son be dead then gay." My heart broke!! Then he proceeds to give a weak ass strawman argument as to they (whoever "they" is...) are trying to shove this agenda down our throats. I felt like I was teleported into a podcast full of hoteps and incels. I said, "I am pro LGBTQIA+ so I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up." Here is where it really took a turn for the worst. My ex-husband who I love dearly as a friend and co-parent partner says, "But I can't get with them trans muh fukkas. I gotta draw the line there." My heart was beating so fast at this point. I started pacing the floor. I mean I gave them the whole speech about using talking points of white supremist. Then old friend says, "Yo, Ant aren't you a Christian? How can you be for these people?" I gave him historical teaching points on how the same stuff they say about them they said about black people. I mean I went in. As a theologian and ordain minister I pulled out doctrine in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek text. At one point they both said something about sounding like I went to college and like a black activist etc. COMPLETLY MISSING ALL THE FUCKING POINTS!!! I'm so disappointed in my ex-husband. However, the old friend I can go another decade without hearing from him again.

I talk to my ex at least twice a week. Sometimes with his current wife on the phone as well. We love them damn kids but we're also like I said, "good friends". We vacation together and everything, but now I don't know how to move forward knowing he's transphobic. Is this how white ally's feel when they have family members who are racist? He has called a few times and I ignored because I'm still upset. The kids say, "dad has been trying to reach you, why haven't you called him back?"

I'm sharing this because I don't know who else to have this kind of discussion with. I'm probably the most if not only progressive in my family. Everyone else is mostly indifferent because they have no skin in the fight and then there are the boomers so...🙄