#don't even get me started on clothing folds and like the negative space and HANDS...

[cloudslinger]

ok leggo... sketch 1 for my adam/ronan painting

[thesunw1tch]

Moving House Cleansing Ritual!

Goldie's Guide to Witchcraft: A Tumblr Grimoire For The Masses.

Heyy I'm going to be moving across the coast within the next 3 weeks, so you know what that involves? Cleaning!

I am a strong believer in hearth magick, and though it's not for me as a singular path, I implement home witchery very heavily in my practice. A part of this is the view that in order for a place to be spiritually clean, it needs to be physically clean as well since clutter tends to keep energy trapped in different spots of your home. So, here are the steps I am taking to ensure that I am leaving behind all the energy I do not need and only taking what I must. Ordinarily, I'd advise others to protect/banish/ward after themselves to give the new residents a clean place...but my house is getting destroyed and replaced, so that doesn't apply here.

Phase 0: Getting Ready

Read through this post first and see what you'll need, gather those ingredients

Call in the elements, starting north and going clockwise! There's several videos online that can tell you how to do this. We are calling in the elements for help in cleansing and as a way to keep ourselves spiritually accountable - because you don't summon the raw elements for no reason, and you certainly don't forget to dismiss them either.

Phase 1: Physical Cleaning

All garbage must be thrown out of the home and be ready for the truck. This is incredibly important, due to the whole Energy Can Stick To Clutter thing I mentioned earlier.

Clothing must be sorted into piles and then washed or packed away. For good measure, you can include a crystal in the box to influence their protection or the effect those clothes can have on you! (Rose quartz to feel beautiful in the clothes, Citrine for happy, Apatite for acceptance, etc)

Furniture must be either be given away, packed up, or dismantled and thrown away properly. Furniture is thick and heavy, and where we keep ourselves or our objects safe. I advise putting aside a bottle of flourishing spray or even Ferbreeze to use later on the process.

Miscellaneous items like kitchen ware, knick knacks, books, etc should be placed in their respective boxes and labeled as such. Thoroughly clean kitchenware before packing, and place tissue paper between each item for protection. You may even utilize folding magic during this stage in the process, actually.

Dusting and mopping should be done as the last step, as the magical connotations being that you are Literally scrubbing/sweeping negative energy out of the home. By making this your last step, you prevent accidentally bringing stagnant energy back into the house with you.

Phase 2: Spiritual Cleaning

For this phase of the ritual, here are some tools/materials you will need, but if you don't have these particular available just use what you've got:

Salt (for cleansing and protection)

Rosemary (For grounding and protection, preferably dried)

Orange peels or dried orange ( positivity and energy)

Sun water (divine masculine, cleansing)

a spray bottle or bowl

Any crystals that promote happiness and cleansing (Citrine, Clear Quartz, Amethyst, just to name a few)

This is the cleansing part! Cleanse your bottle or bowl, charge it with your breath or in the sun for a bit, then mix all your ingredients together!

If using a bowl, Use your hands to gently flick the mixture on doorways and in the corners of each room. You can even trace sigils onto the walls for extra oomph! Imagine any bad memories in this house washing away with the water, all bad vibes being poured out as if the house is a giant tea pot.

With that, your space is clean...but there's no positive energy here either. It's a clean slate, so there's nothing energetically going on in this house right now. That's where that ferbreeze I mentioned earlier comes in.

Phase 3: Flourishing

Flourishing is the process of attracting positive energy, love, light, whatever you want. This is generally done as a last step after cleansing, protecting, banishing, and warding...but we're leaving this house, so protecting/banishing/warding is something that the new residents need to do for themselves. If your place is having new residents, anyway.

Personally, I use air fresheners as flourishing sprays! They're easy to pick up, cheap, and easy to hide if you're in the broom closet :) I use the Ferbreeze Lavender scent but you can use whatever you'd like, have some fun! What kinda energy do you want to invite in this place? Lots of vitality and energy? Try orange. Calmness and Tranquility? Lavender or Fresh Linen.

You can also make Your Own Flourishing spray, in which case it can be as simple as:

Sun or Moon water

peppermint essential oil

dried flowers or herbs that correspond with the energy you want

Mix it up and sprinkle it wherever you'd like, boom you're good to go and the Ritual is over! You can dismiss the Elements now and put away your materials!

Stay safe and have fun, Witches! I hope this helped!

[hereforthelizardsex]

My friend who has never seen so much as an episode of deep space nine wrote nsfw crack fanfiction about Julian, Garak, and Dukat being captured and held in Area 51 on alternate universe (not mirror universe) Earth following a conversation where I mentioned Julian’s foot fetish and alien fucking. I am posting it here for anyone in the mood for reading something very cursed.

Ever since the universe started to collapse in on itself, our lives have been completely turned around. All of us DS9 inhabitants were shuffled into emergency escape pods that could travel much faster than your average ship. Only a third of us made it out, who knows where the rest are. We drove straight into a black hole, just hoping for the best. We ended up in a place called “The Milky Way” and eventually on Earth. Earth isn't so different from DS9, we even have some of the same evil rulers and war history, but it is weird being confined to a planet instead of living among the stars. When my ship first landed, my other ship mates had died, all six of them. I was brought to a place called area 51 and eventually given a room of my own here. All of us ‘aliens’ were given an area, which they call a cell block, to stay in with our own rooms. The biggest change, though, has been my sex life, and this is that story:

I wake up drenched in sweat and with a pounding headache, this planet is so dry that I don't know how my body has any liquids left to sweat out. I gulp down the water next to my bed, and stand to stretch my muscles, still sore from crash landing on this planet. I stiffly walk over to the mirror and stare at the bruises and cuts on my body, wishing they would heal already and that the scientists wouldn't be so eager to make new ones. I am in the middle of examining my bare abdomen when I hear my bedroom door creak open. I turn to look and see Garak staring at me from the doorway.

“It’s late.” I say, embarrassed to have been caught staring at myself in the mirror, and even more embarrassed that these thin gray cotton shorts don't hide very much, something that Garak has also noticed.

“I thought we could talk, I mean this whole thing is sort of crazy. Landing on a new planet, losing everyone we knew. I mean you watched people die in front of you, and now there's humans showing you Tik Tik dancing and something called Goggle.”

I sigh, “yeah I mean I guess so. It's not like I have anyone to miss though. I mean YOU'RE still alive and here to bother me,”

“You would've missed me if I died?” He says in a patronizing tone that I find somewhat annoying and somewhat sexy.

“ Only a little,” I responded with a smile as I woke over and sat on the edge of my bed.

“Well I was also here to ask you if you could check some of these wounds out. The people here either seem to want to make them worse or are too scared of me to help.” He walks over and sits next to, right next to me.

I lift his shirt gently and look at some of the injuries he sustained in the crash. It takes me a moment to realize that I’ve placed my hand on his abdomen while examining his side, and he hasn't moved it. I pull my hand away and feel my face turn red.

“Well they look like they're healing fine to me no sign of infection”

“Julian,” he says looking me in the eyes before reaching a hand over and placing it on the inner part of my thigh, “thank you”.

He leaves his hand there just long enough for my cock to get hard before standing up and leaving. I'm sure he noticed, but he didn't say anything and neither did I.

He comes back every night after that for the next two weeks to talk, always finding and excuse to expose some part of his body to me that shouldn't be as erotic to me as it is.

One night he was complaining about his feet hurting from being forced to run all day, to test his physical abilities, so I eagerly volunteered to rub them as we laid on my bed and talked. I stared at his scaly toes laying in my lap as my fingers expertly kneaded the soles of his feet. Of course, my body decided that now was a perfect time for an erection the size of the entire Starfleet, which was brought back up by Garak adjusting his position just as it was starting to go down, almost as if he was doing it on purpose.

Just as I was starting to suspect that he was trying to make me hard. He sat up and looked me in the eyes, “Julian how many times do I have to graze your dick with my heels, are you going to let me make you cum or not?”

I felt my face turn red yet again, and did not respond in anyway other than shock and a wide eyed stare.

“For fucks sake, you act like such a prude,” he said as he pulled down my sweatpants and let my cock spring free of its fabric cage. He leaned forward, as if to take me in his mouth, but instead spit on my cock and sat back to begin rubbing it with his feet. I tensed up in surprise but began to relax as the blood my heart was using to panic started going to my dick. Precum began to leak onto Garkas feet, coating his scaled toes and making them shine.

I noticed a very large, very long new appendage poking out under Garaks clothing and reaching over to begin rubbing it, it was warm and somewhat wet, I just had to see what it was. I pulled off his pants and was almost smacked in the face by his five foot long alien dick. Instead of a head at the end it was a fleshy hole that was oozing a clear liquid. I dipped my finger into the liquid and licked it off, moaning in ecstacy. “Fuck Garak you taste so good” i said as I felt my dick twich in the embrace of his feet, which had been massaging it back and forth. He didn't say anything but grabbed my hand and moved along his slippery penis, which was so thick I couldn't wrap my hand all the way around it. After a f few minutes he transferred some of the fluids from his penis onto his hand and began to rub my tight, somewhat throbbing, asshole, gently sliding his fingers in and out of it. It was too much for me to handle, I felt my balls tense up and my dick began squirting loads of cum all over Garaks sexy toes.

“I'm going to have to try for weeks to get all that out from under my scales you assclown” Garak said pressing his cold cardassian lips to mine. We made out passionately, his little lizard tongue darting in and out of my mouth. I was still stroking his cock when my door was flung open. i tried to jump back in surprise but was held back by Garak, whose cock seemed to get harder now that someone was watching us. I didnt see who it was, but I felt them come up behind me and saw the world go dark as I was blinded by a tie being wrapped over my eyes. I felt the strangers dick slap me in the face as it was pulled out and draped over my shoulder like a scarf. I instinctively took it in my hand and livked the side of it. This one I was able to fit my whole hand around, but it seemed to be around eight feet as opposed to Garaks measly five. I kissed along the wet shaft as my face was coated in alien precum. Garak had been fingering my ass for about ten minutes now, and he placed his hands on my hips and we moved so that he was under me. He pushed the tip of his cock into my ass and the rest that I couldn't fit quite yet sunk back into his body, in typical cardassian fashion.

I thought the mystery stranger had begun to cum, but instead the smell of dehydrated piss filled my nostrils and I felt a runny warm liquid spill down my government issued t-shirt and roll down my body onto my cock that was now hard again. Garak thrusted in and out of me as my mouth bobbed along the strangers dick, and my blind fold began to slip loose. It fell off just as both Garak and the stranger began to cum, one in me and the other all over my face, and I looked into the eyes of my worst enemy. I had just given a blow job to none other than Dukat.

A few weeks later I noticed a particular itch around my penis, but all the usual STD tests had come back negative. My doctors decided to do one last test, and allergy test, which just so happened to be on the day that they had finished processing cardassian dna, and what do you know? I'm allergic to lizard-alien semen! Life is not worth living now…

Inspired by this collaborative image: