#don't ask me how an autistic wound up working in construction

[shadamyheadcanons]

Headcanon #283

((Warning: strong language.))

Cross-posted on AO3.

--

Construction began on a building directly behind Team Dark’s apartment complex one summer. It was fine during the week because Shadow had to wake up at the crack of dawn and show up to work before the construction started anyway, but weekends were something else entirely. Every Saturday and Sunday from seven in the morning until three, Shadow’s sensitive ears were subjected to the sounds of jackhammers, excavators, and all manner of demolition equipment. Even with the windows shut, it was too much for him. He frequently snapped at Rouge and Omega from the constant stress of sensory overload. The two of them were patient for a while, but after a particularly bad spat between him and Rouge, she told him to step out and get some air. He was doing just that when he ran into Amy.

“Shadow! Hi!” She skidded to a stop a foot away from him with an assortment of shopping bags in her arms, smiling just as brightly as always. “What are you up to?”

Her cheery voice, usually so pleasant to the ears, was too loud for him. “Nothing,” he snapped.

She pouted and put a hand on her hip. “That’s no way to talk to a friend,” she scolded, apparently not as affected by their surroundings as he was. A multitude of different conversations buzzed around him, all the voices tumbling over each other in a raucous mess. He gritted his teeth and massaged his temples, shutting his eyes against the too-bright sun and berating himself for leaving his sunglasses at home.

It’s too much...too many...too loud, too bright, too crowded--!

Someone bumped into him while passing by, making him jump a foot in the air. When he let out a yelp at the unexpected contact, the Mobian turned around and smiled sheepishly. “Whoops! Sorry about that!”

Shadow snarled. “Watch where you’re going, dipshit!”

The Mobian cringed. “Okay, okay! Jeez...” he muttered before speed-walking away. Shadow’s fists clenched. His breathing and heartrate started to accelerate.

“Shadow, what’s wrong?”

Amy’s concerned words broke the dam. He turned on her.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!”

Amy flinched. Shadow instantly recoiled at his own words. Her face looked pained and confused. His throat closed up, and he lifted a shaky hand. “I...I’m so sorry, I just...I didn’t...” He choked on his words and whined quietly.

Amy’s expression turned from hurt to sympathetic. “Let’s go to my house, okay?”

Shadow closed his mouth and looked away, embarrassed, but he nodded silently and held out his hand. She took it and squeezed it reassuringly. He closed his eyes to shield himself from the inevitable green flash, pictured Amy’s apartment, and croaked out, “Chaos Control!”

--

Once they arrived, Amy immediately ushered him inside. Shadow relaxed a little when she closed the door behind them, locking out the sounds from outside. When she turned on the overhead light, though, he growled and looked away. He choked in panic at his own reaction, but she just shot him a concerned look and turned the light back off again. He sighed.

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked, gently resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I--”

He stalled out. She waited patiently, but the words weren’t coming.

Her expression pinched. She carefully guided him over to her couch. “C’mon, sit down. I’ll help you through this. It’ll be alright,” she reassured him, keeping her voice low. He nodded and sat down. He crossed his arms defensively and stayed silent.

“What can I do to help?”

Shadow’s eyes darted around the room, and his jaw clenched. “Blanket...?”

She paused for a moment, probably wondering why he’d want that in August, but she recovered and nodded decisively. “Blanket. Got it.” She hurried to the closet where she presumably kept such things during the summertime. Shadow curled in on himself while he waited. His shoulders hunched up tightly, and his heart pounded.

The couch sank next to him as Amy sat down. “Here you go. Is this enough?”

Shadow nodded and immediately pulled the blanket around himself. The soft fabric surrounding him made him feel slightly better, but his body still shook, and his breathing wouldn’t slow down.

He didn’t look up, but he could hear the helpless concern in her voice as she whispered, “Anything else? Here, let me go get--”

When she started to stand up, he immediately latched onto her arm. “Don’t--!”

He hadn’t meant to grab her arm, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Amy was startled at first, but her gaze softened when she saw the pleading look in his eyes. She lowered herself back onto the couch with a reassuring smile. “It’s alright. I’ll stay.”

He immediately pulled her close and buried his face in her shoulder. Feeling safe and no longer overwhelmed, Shadow finally relaxed his muscles and let his tears fall in the presence of the only one who was allowed to see them. Exhausted, he fell asleep in her arms as she gently scratched his scalp.

--

When Shadow awoke, ambient natural sounds floated past his ears. His face was pressed against something soft. He grunted softly and cracked his eyes open to find the room was darker than before, indicating a good deal of time had passed.

“You’re awake! How are you feeling?”

Shadow made a perplexed noise when Amy’s quiet voice met his ears. When his groggy eyes were met with Amy’s bright smile just a few inches away, he made a panicked noise and pulled back. He immediately let go of her arm when he realized he’d been clinging to her the whole time. The sudden retreat made his head pound painfully, cluing him in to the splitting headache that was now plaguing him. He cringed upon remembering he’d latched onto Amy and clung onto her like she was a living security blanket.

“Shit, I was--sorry, I...”

“It’s okay!” Her grin didn’t fade. “You know I never mind cuddling,” she reassured, easily seeing through him the way she always had. “Are you feeling any better?”

Shadow sighed and looked away. “...Yes. Thank you.” His eyes drifted to the phone in her hand, which seemed to be the source of the gentle, ambient noise.

She followed his gaze and explained, still keeping her voice low. “I texted Rouge to let her know where you were. When I told her what was going on, she told me you listen to this kind of thing whenever this happens. I can turn it off if you want.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s nice.”

“Good,” she replied, looking relieved. “I hope you don’t mind that I told her what was going on. I figured she might be able to help.”

He nodded in assent. She remained silent, but he could tell she was curious. He exhaled slowly. “Gerald wanted my senses to be as acute as possible, but he took it too far. It’s a double-edged sword. I’m usually fine, but when I’m overwhelmed...”

He trailed off. She nodded. “That makes sense.”

He shut his eyes. “I never meant for you to get caught up in this. I’m...” He sighed and gritted his teeth, ashamed. “I’m deeply sorry for what happened today.”

She frowned. “It’s not a big deal, Shadow. Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. All you did was hang onto me and sleep it off for a while.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He opened his eyes. He could tell from her sympathetic expression that the pain was evident on his face. “I snapped at you. I promised myself I would never, ever do that to you, of all people. You’ve been nothing but kind to me since we met, more than anyone else I know.” He clenched his teeth. “And I yelled at you over nothing. When you were trying to help me.” He covered half his face with one of his hands. “After everything you’ve done for me, that’s how I repaid you.”

He felt a light, warm pressure on his free hand, and he looked down to see Amy had taken it in her own hands. “You were dealing with a ton of stress, Shadow. Anyone can lose their temper. I know I have,” she admitted with a laugh. When he didn’t reply, she added, “I’m not upset, Shadow. It takes more than that to scare me off.”

Shadow hesitated, feeling warmth spread in his chest at the sweet sentiment. “But I--”

“No ‘buts!’” she insisted. Her face softened, and she reached toward him. Then, she paused and asked, “Can I hug you?”

Shadow opened his mouth, then paused. After a moment, he replied. “If you want to.”

“Of course.”

She pulled him into a gentle, comforting hug. She snuggled into his shoulder. “It’s alright, Shadow. I’m always going to be there for you. You’re my friend, and I love you.”

Shadow’s heart thumped in a combination of gratitude and guilt. “I know it’s not easy sometimes. I--”

“No.”

“But I--”

“No,” she insisted again, as if she were scolding a child. “You are not hard to love, Shadow. You’re kind, you’re considerate, and our friendship means the world to me!”

He returned the hug, holding her body closer and trying to hold in his emotions. “Thank you.” She scratched his scalp just as she had before, and he felt his muscles relax again.

The two separated after a while. The movement made Shadow’s head throb painfully once again. He winced and rubbed his forehead.

Amy picked up on it immediately, of course. She stood up and headed in the direction of her kitchen. “I’ll get you some headache remedy.”

“I’m the Ultimate Lifeform. I don’t need it.”

Amy rolled her eyes fondly. “You have a headache. I’m not going to ignore that.”

Shadow grumbled, but he didn’t argue further. She returned with the medicine and a cup of water. He downed both of them and pouted at her satisfied smile. “I was built to be perfect. This isn’t supposed to happen.”

He didn’t just mean the headache, and it was obvious that she knew that. “You’re not a robot or a weapon, Shadow. You’re a person, and people have flaws.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a hand to stop him. “You’re allowed to make mistakes. I knew you didn’t mean it. I was just worried because I knew you needed help, okay?”

He bit his lip, hesitated, and then muttered, “Okay.”

She nodded, satisfied, then grew serious again. “So what set you off today? Is there any way to avoid it?”

Shadow growled lowly upon being reminded of the problem, then flinched at his own reaction when Amy looked startled. “They’re doing construction right behind my apartment. It’s fine during the week because I’m not there for it, but it wreaks havoc on my ears on the weekends.” He rubbed his temples just thinking about it.

Amy pursed her lips and scratched her chin, then brightened up. “So just hang out here on the weekends until they’re done!”

“What?”

She nodded excitedly. “Yeah! It’ll be like a sleepover! You spend plenty of time here anyway, right?”

His ears flattened. “You’d do that for me?” he asked, humbled by her offer.

“Of course! I love spending time with you!”

He felt his heart thump. He lifted his shoulders shyly.

“I’d like that.”

She squealed in contagious excitement, and his heart soared in response.

--

“So I’ll see you next Friday night, okay?” Amy piped up as she escorted Shadow to the door.

He nodded, still beyond flattered that she’d be willing to forfeit so much time for him.

She seemed to sense his hesitation. “Just like we planned, right? Fun sleepovers every weekend! I can’t wait!”

Just then, Shadow’s fine-tuned ears picked up the sound of someone breathing around the corner. He made an inquisitive noise in the person’s direction.

Sensing she’d been found out, a fox with a mischievous grin on her face peeked around the corner. “Planning some sleepovers, Amy? Sounds like fun!” She snickered.

Shadow’s ears reddened at her implications, but Amy just shrugged it off with a smirk of her own “Jealous?” She stuck her tongue out.

The fox scoffed and left. Shadow scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. “You weren’t going to argue with that..?”

Amy snorted and side-eyed him. “And blab about this to anyone who asks? You’re a private person. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“But she’s going to keep thinking you’re...I mean, we’re...uh...” he trailed off awkwardly.

Amy rolled her eyes. “Oh, no! My nosy neighbor is going to think I’m messing around with a handsome guy! What a nightmare!” she lamented sarcastically.

Shadow’s blush intensified. He hid his face once again, but then he murmured out a quiet, “Thank you.”

Amy giggled. “For calling you handsome?”

“No. For being you.”

--

Shadow the hedgehog goes nonverbal when he is stressed (and other evidence that points to him being autistic)

Shadow is autistic on this blog. Sega can’t stop me.