#doesnt always work 100% of the time but it means i do a lot less doomscrolling

[bleue-flora]

Tbh Im just thinking of something that im really curious and doesnt let me asleep. What was cdream planing to do once he was inside the prison? Bc if it was just contain the revival book then...why he had the plan to not stay too long in there? cpunz kinda implies the plan was meeting soon after cdream was imprisionated when they reunited post prison break. So what was his plan? the little we see of cdream in prison before he kills ctommy was him just passing around the cell and getting bored and starting to be starved by csam. Was it a plan to united the server, stay imprisoned a few weeks and then come out acting as if he changed? well that'd make sense, also could explain why he insisted so much in that he changed or leave forever even with people he and everyone knew wouldnt buy that at all like ctommy or csam after ctechno escape. But that stills makes me uneasy bc he didnt try that much. He didnt try to act like he was "reformed"(meaning as what the server expected to him to act if he reformed not in a way saying imprisoment is a was okay or acceptable way to help someone), he tells ctommy he burned the books when ctommy asked him to write novels as a way to say sorry.

Im just thinking what was he planned to do inside the prison? just stay there and rot for an indeterminaded amount of time? idk if the "contain the revival book" as his only motive fits bc then why he seemed to have planned with cpunz to meet soon and also planned that cranboo explodes tnt to trap a visitor with him? And the "trying to act as if he changed" while it makes more sense to me, it also doesnt convince me 100% for what I just said. Maybe a combination of the two? it could be, a person can have multiple reasons to do something. But idk, what do you think was cdream plan once he was inside the prison?

-Cleo

That is The question isn’t it -Why put himself in prison?

And the thing is I can’t really give you a definitive answer because we just don’t know. There are lots of variables and we just don’t have enough data to determine the answer, especially when we don’t even get his pov or get to see 80% of his lore. The best I can give you is my theory on why I personally think he did it, which I have talked about [here], based on the information we do have and assuming he’s not completely crazy, and is following some form of logical plan, however flawed…

For starters, one of the things we do reasonably know based on the amount of times it comes up including the finale is his larger desire and motivation - "Always the goal has just been that it's all one united server, that everybody follows the same rules, there's no countries there's no, you know, any of this it's just one giant like family." [clip], “I want everyone to live and be happy together” forever [clip], (after spending time in Dream’s head we get Tommy saying) “You just want things to be simple.” [clip] and then of course -> “I just don’t want to ever be alone.” [clip]

That’s the base line - Dream does not want to be alone, he craves community and family, a world where everyone is happy and together.

So keeping that in mind, for starters I don’t think he did it to “contain the revival book” and honestly I’m not even sure where that reasoning came from, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it and it really doesn’t even work as you point out, one reason being that Dream’s stay was meant to be temporary.

I also don’t think the reasoning of uniting the server works either because for starters the whole server isn’t even present for his arrest and the ones who are there weren’t necessarily big enemies before that. Besides technically he already did a better job uniting people against him during Doomsday. Now maybe that was a side bonus or goal but I don’t think it’s the main reasoning.

But yes, I do think it was a means to be seen as reformed or less of a threat by the server. I go into some of that reasoning in my other post. I think it was about providing a pathway to him not being enemy number 1 anymore. Because people had been rallying against him even in a time of mostly peace with the biggest example being L’manberg planning to assassinate him in cold blood in the Green Festival. Everyone was against him, even his friends and everyone lived in such fear and hatred of him no one would even hear him out. I mean I think the dethronement conversation is a great example of this (I provide a good bit of transcript in this [post]). Everything he said was seen as unreasonable and malicious and he was left alone with no way to mend these relationships. Everyone wanted him dead, but he didn’t want to die and while he could just leave to protect himself, we know he didn’t want to be alone, so instead his made a plan to a path of him being redeemed in the eyes of the server.

That was the plan right. Everyone defeats their villain, gets their revenge, but instead of him ending up dead like they wanted he is alive in prison and now that he’s stripped of his power, fear is more removed allowing for relationships. No longer is he this unstoppable evil overseer but just a person. Or so was I think his intention. They would keep him in there for a bit, realize not everything is his fault, that he isn’t this big evil tyrant, get their satisfied comeuppance and then people would let him out. Consider Bad’s reaction to visiting Dream [post] - he’s done bad things but he deserves better than to suffer - that is a whole different reaction than the person willing to have him murdered completely - dead forever - by Tommy a few days prior.

Anyways, if that was his goal, then why didn’t he try to act reformed upon his escape? Well… that was his original plan. By the time he escapes he has spent months being starved, isolated, and tortured, his mental stability ain’t exactly top notch at that point and based on those things even happening in the first place, his belief that people would think he’s reformed or allow him back into society has likely been squashed. Clearly, he didn’t think his previous friends would torture, starve, threaten to kill him if he ever leaves, even try to kill him when he’s already locked up. He underestimated their hatred and fear of him, so I doubt he had much faith at all for them to even let him have a chance to be “reformed” or just not wanna kill him at that point, since again most of the people he’s interacted with up until he escaped wanted him dead or promised to kill him.

However, I do think there was still that underlying hope. You can hear that hope bleed out of his voice in his conversation with Sapnap as he goes from trying to reason with Sapnap as an old friend even with the offer to start over, to sounding just as insane and malevolent as he did with Tommy [clip] -> [clip] -> [clip]. He tries so hard to avoid the fight that Sapnap is setting him up for, he tries so hard for them just to not be enemies. But him escaping prison is evidence for Sapnap that Dream is still hostile and even the torture is not a good enough reasoning for that escape to be anything but proof of his violent ways. And you can hear the switch in his voice the moment he realizes the only way people listen to him is if he’s the villain they see him as, if he finds their weakness and exploits it, threatening to destroy something they love (sound familiar doesn’t it?…)

As for his encounter with Tommy, after spending time with him in prison and then Tommy trying to kill him while he was in prison, I don’t think he thought there was any world where they weren’t enemies. Tommy already proved himself to be hostile and he, despite his fear of Dream, even came to get the weapons and confront Dream in the exile area, knowing Dream was going there, proving to still be an active threat. And what does a rattle snake do when a threat appears? They rattle, they rattle make themselves appear big, they make the threat afraid and send the threat away. And that is what I believe Dream is doing with Tommy in that confrontation. He’s making him afraid, so Tommy will be too scared to come after him. I don’t think he ever intended to make good on his threats, because honestly, there are other people on his priority list to get revenge and make suffer. And he’s saying the same things he said in the finale, we know was staged, about how he’s targeting Tommy specifically and Tommy being the main fun to torment on the server.

Now this plan does end up backfiring a bit because the moment Tommy returns home he immediately starts to form a group to go after and kill Dream, fortifying Tubbo’s house to serve as a base and gathering gear… etc. It’s because of that, that I think he leaves the creepy disc in Tommy’s basement, to make him more afraid so he’s too scared to come after him… so to me I’m not sure we can say he didn’t try to act reformed, I don’t think he was given the chance. Even with people like Foolish, who doesn’t even know him, he’s on rocky terms with. It doesn’t seem to matter what he does after prison, he can mind his own business - lock himself away and not bother anyone for months or go through with his threats and they’ll still wait outside his door to kill him and sneak into his house in the middle of the night to slit his throat. Hell even if he had done as Techno had and built a cottage in the middle of nowhere, I bet people still would have come after him. He’s Dream after all…

So Dream is clearly dancing on the edges of insanity and unable to gain any credit of change from people after prison, but as you point out, what about in prison. He sure didn’t seem to go out of his way to act reformed in prison and that was before the torture so does that mean this theory of him trying to be “reformed” in the eyes of the server isn’t his goal? Well no, not necessarily. As I’ve already mentioned, we can see the way he acts with Bad is very pitiful and making himself seem small and unthreatening to be let out, and we see him apologize to Tommy in his first visit and such. This though doesn’t appear to last long, but I think that is because he was experiencing lots of isolation, and not isolation that can be distracted from with like watching a movie or something (because he has nothing) - isolation without really anything to quell it. If you’ve watched videos relating to isolation or know much about it then you’ll know that it tanks mental health real fast. Therefore Dream’s insanity sets in fast. Leading to his desperation for human contact, so then instead of acting all good and getting reformed and paying for his crimes and being remorseful and such, he starts acting out like throwing himself into lava and burning the clocks just so Sam has to come visit him. His misbehavior then I think is a symptom and consequence of the prison conditions not necessarily part of his plan. He also calls it a prank so he probably didn’t think it’d go that much against his plans of seeming better, but clearly Sam doesn’t seem to appreciate his pranks and starts becoming more hostile and such, which shouldn’t suprise us given Sam’s behavior in the prison even early on. In addition, even Sam’s response to Ponk in the tour of the prison and what he says to Bad later about using food as a means to get information, I’d say it’s fair to assume that Sam’s intense demeanor likely started early on, meaning I think Dream’s food was being withheld early on, before the dropper was added. And that’s besides the fact that going from eating steak to a few raw potato’s would be a huge food reduction and cause issues anyways. So even before things get real bad, Dream’s mental stability is dropping real fast and you can see it from each visit he gets. There is genuine mental decline there even if Dream does also seem to use it to his advantage. I mean who knows what Sam did for Dream to stop talking altogether in protest in Sapnap’s visit… bare in mind too, if we look at the timelines Exile only lasted 9 days, countries only last a month or two, things went really fast so it’s not unreasonable for Dream to think his sentence would be short. But then “forever” is being thrown around even by his own friend and that’s when he probably realizes his plan is falling apart.

So by the time, Tommy visits again Dream is not in an optimistic and good mental state. Plus if I remember right, I believe Tommy said he’d visit a lot and even suggested being his like “therapist” but then didn’t come back until a month later on Feb 21st. So maybe Dream wrote the books but in his frustrating of being left alone and Tommy not coming back, ended up burning them.

In other words, I think originally the plan was for people to come visit and talk to him and see that he’s not such a bad guy and that his punishment has been sufficient to then be let out. But things fall apart fast. Isolation and boredom starts to set in, food starts to be limited, and people don’t visit. He just didn’t want to be alone -> and now is left entirely alone.

Then his plan to trap Tommy happens likely way later then it was supposed to because I doubt he expected it to be a month before Tommy returns, and he aims to make some form of amends however minuscule or least have them learn to cohabitate, but that doesn’t go to plan at all, in fact Tommy calls him names and bickers and whines the whole time and 9 days later after Dream expresses his love for the cat, Tommy kills it as well as starts doubting the existence of the Revive Book (the only reason they left him alive in the first place). So after spending weeks in boredom, isolation with low levels of food, and after over the week that was supposed to happen (based on the prison waiver signed) of listening to Tommy bitch and dealing with his punching and calling him names, and even while experiencing the terrible conditions still being adamant that Dream deserves this, Dream beats his head in in a fit of mania. And that I doubt was planned either, and certainly helps ruin his bigger plan.

So what was he planning to do in prison? I think be visited. I think write notes and letters to people and such. I don’t think it was about being reformed or redeemed per say or that Dream believed he needed that (though a fair argument could be made that that was part of it) but about just not being enemies. In an ideal situation he’d become friends again with people, but I think he’d have settled for just being seen as some guy again and not having everyone trying to kill him. Like how Bad didn’t become his friend during prison or after but isn’t necessarily actively seeking him out to kill him. Dream just didn’t want to be alone and I personally think the only way he saw a way to not be was to put himself in prison to be let out by the server when they were ready to not want to just kill him… but as it turns out they never stopped wanting to kill him, they were only held back by the knowledge of a book he had. And instead of going from big bad villain to just some guy, he became nothing more than a book instead. Instead of gaining friends to not be alone, his friends became his enemies and he was left to rot completely alone… and after almost an entire year of suffering, he’s still enemy number 1, he’s still hunted down like a dog, they still want to kill him. Only this time, instead of stabbing him in the back at a festival, they make a deal with god just to kill him and break into his house in the night to kill him. In the end, if his plan was to be let out and let back into society as no longer the enemy, then his plan failed so spectacularly. And whether there was a moment specifically in prison or out where his plan became no longer feasible or whether it was unrealistic from the very start remains unclear. Though you could make an argument for each, I’d say both are probably true… I think it was perhaps the only option at least in Dream’s mind to have his family back and yet I also think it was probably damned to fail from its very conception…

[vaniliens]

Long ass opinions / critiques on milgram under the cut before t3 actually hits

Im not even that mad / hateful of mlgrm at all tbh & I think & hope you can tell that from the fact that my main gripe with it isnt really "This project was awful from start to finish it never should've happened" but rather "There were better (& Arguably easier) ways to tell this story & get the point across"

i understand 100% why they thought, on paper, why this would've been a cool project to work on and It Is!! They did their best, i really love how it takes inspiration from the vocaloid community from the abstract symbolism filled MV's, the deco covers, how theres an interconnected story, and the potential of community guesswork & discussion of what this song and/or MV means. I might be a bit biased bc i got into it after being dissapointed in how lacking the virtual singers / vocaloid [community] feels in project sekai besides the commissioned songs but overall i think its really cute, even if its technically just what art as a whole is about 😭 You know, making you engage & think about The Implications. Getting the inspo from the voca synth community allows the project to stand out bc of how its presented. Its unique, its fresh, it keeps you on your toes.

I love how it (tries) to tackle well known & relevant issues in japan (& tbh the rest of the world), like ableism, misogyny, child abuse, call-out culture, homophobia, the entire prison system, etc. and how the victims and perpetrators react to it. Its very interesting. Its very clearly trying to humanize & sympathize even the "worst of the worst", and i appreciate how its one of the main themes in the story even if some of the audience didnt quite catch it. Its showing how simply punishing people who did wrong isnt the answer. Like theres SOOOO much nuance to unpack both in universe with the crimes & prisoners and in a meta sense through the way the story is presented, the way the audience reacts, the discussions, thoughts, developments, etc. Its so cool. They've clearly put a lot of effort into it.

At its core the Milgram Project has always been less about solving the crimes and more about asking the audience "Why do YOU think X happened?" Its basically a bunch of character studies!! You're peering through their hearts, examining their own version of the truth of their crimes, and drawing your own conclusions based on that raw, intrusive data that the system has given you. Aagh.

Unfortunately in my own humble opinion all these elements combined is exactly why it doesn't work as well as it could've And arguably should've for a project all about seeing the good or at least understanding eachother.

It asks "Why did X did it?" but it doesnt give us a platform to actually state Why they did it in any way, only to answer & play into the prisons b&w thinking, and you cant in any way reverse any of their verdicts once its been casted. And thematically it works. I mean its about a warden in a prison full of people who have taken lives, its doing its job to mirror the reality of real life Innocent (No punishment or otherwise legal consenquence) vs Guilty (Punish) verdicts, legally or non officially, as it should. But idk it doesnt really Help us understand why a character comitted their sin. It only introduces downwards spirals, which only makes the characters less willing to provide their actual motive(s) as time goes on. I get that the main thing its criticizing is the legal & prison system but its getting in the way of sympathizing with "Bad" people. Which again IS the point, thats EXACTLY what the prison system does and why its so harmful, it dehumanizes people to hell and boils down their entire personhood to "Guilty" but like???? It doesnt really provide an Out, or anything more Productive to think about. WHICH IS THE POINT & I KNOW THAT BUT IT KINDA FEELS LIKE IN THE END THERES REALLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO WHICH IS PRETTY NIHILISTIC???

Its like "Theres no point in examining why these people are the way they are bc everyones gonna suffer no matter which button you press in the end!! No you cant gain deeper optional insight either bc we're permanently rolling with THIS now." and what doesnt help are the extra contents like the voice dramas & interrogation questions where the characters themselves add more fuel to the fire by threatening eachothers or the wardens lives??? and it leads to people discussing 'Which Verdicts to Vote [to minimize the in universe damage so these fictional definitely-not-representatives-of-real-life-issues-&-its-consequences characters can be safe]' instead of 'Actual Insightful Character Analysis [to help eachother find our own conclusions no matter what it is & to improve ourselves as a person through examining fictional scenarios]' and it leads to COMPLETELY unproductive discussions and flame wars and its so upsetting to see.

Its fucking tearing itself (& the fandom) apart by making ITSELF perpetuate the black & white "Theres a CORRECT answer to this EXTREMELY morally gray & heavily nuanced situation!!!" thinking for the sake of criticizing (More like making a parody of) the prison system. Like wow who would've thought that the system designed so that literally everyone in it is turned into mere "GOOD" VS "BAD" caricatures of themselves would be a good sytem to EXAMINE PEOPLES COMPLICATED LIVES with. Does that make sense. Like isnt it ironic how what we call "Meta voting" is, in the end, more about these fictional characters lives than it is about us, as the actual living breathing audience who are capable of accepting things outside the dichotomy and are able to self reflect before its too late? us, the humans whos lives are more fragile and thus require more care from eachother than mere 2d drawings? Isnt that so ironic

AND I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR I GENUINELY, WITH ALL (or none in this case) OF MY HEART, DON'T AND CAN'T EVEN BLAME ANYONE WHO META VOTES. BECAUSE THE PRISON. THE PROJECT ITSELF. ENCOURAGES IT. AND IN THIS TRIAL AND EVEN THE PREVIOUS ONE WITH KOTOKO'S BEATINGS, PROVES THAT IT HOLDS WATER. MORE THAN ANY CHARACTER ANALYSIS. MORE THAN GENUINELY UNDERSTANDING WHERE THESE CHARACTERS ARE COMING FROM.

And the beautiful thing about it is that theres ALSO a discussion to be made about this, intentional or not, about how our actions weigh more than our thoughts / feelings which is ofc correct. This also ties in it with its theme, of taking people's lives and under what conditions is it considered something "Neutral" (even "Positive / Good") vs "Punishable" and ofc also the punishing & restraining that comes with getting a guilty verdict part, an action that leads to someone else's forced in-action.

Still though, in what way does this really help support the Actual Main Theme, which is understanding eachother / the prisoners, people who youve seen arguably the worst of? Its grappling between wanting to make the audience GENUINELY THINK and self reflect vs a show about people going through hell and you CAN be both but again!! with way milgram is run, because of the active audience participation it needs & encourages & the way it boxes the audience into these 2 choices, it was always going to snowball & sway more to the latter. Its becoming less of a thinkpiece & more just a shocking spectacle where everything is in "Superhell"

"Oh anyone can die in this prison if the audience messes up badly enough" do you think thats a good way to send your message. Just kill off a character whos arc wasnt even finished yet. When their deaths only serve to make things worse and thus more shocking and "High Stakes"? When their deaths are only punishing the audience who wanted to understand everyone in the prison by

1. forever 'Locking' said dead character(s) out of any new developments

2. Possibly make things more muddy & unclear in the trial, as the rest of the characters would be affected by the death(s) and would most likely close themselves off even more to cope with the trauma?

And. Like. Again I cant even get that mad bc can you blame the writers when theyre all forced to write shit on the fly based on OUR unpredictable reactions??? Ex. Did they expect Amane to get a guilty in the 1st trial despite the sympathetic MV which features a child repeatedly being abused?? They also have to choose and try to balance between making the horror of the situation clear while also providing a way for these present horrors to bring out the characters past crime. Its so complicated.

I really really hate how this happened. Please. If milgram had no audience participation and if it was instead just a linear story or 2 this wouldn't have happened.... everything would've been in the writer's control and thus we would've been guaranteed a more fulfilling story even if it lacks the explicit audience complicity to the violence & abuse. See: come on man, THE OFFICIAL PREQUEL NOVELS.

Alternatively, seeing as the trial 3 curtain call is LITERALLY called 'Route: Your [Curtain] Call,' implying that there were other routes we could've went on, it could've been a video game or better yet a visual novel. Then we'd be able to fully explore the characters as much as we want, even if, by resetting the game multiple times to get the routes to FULLY understand these charaters, it lessens the emotional impacts the deaths will have.

I dunno man i just wish it didnt get this complicated I just wish it was presented better....

"So what do you think happened? Was this justified or not?" I dont know man we're busy making sure people dont die so we dont miss out on any new info even though the act of 'making sure people dont die' is making us Waste the opportunities we have to get said new info. WE'RE in storytelling superhell.

[hollowtones]

opinions on yoshis story? imo that game doesnt deserve to have music that good

I haven't played very much of it and I've been meaning to do something about that forever. I've played some of it and I've watched others go through most of it.

I know I've seen a little bit of modern grumbling (I don't know if this was a point of contention when the game came out because I was three at the time. OK I looked up some reviews from the era and it looks like it was also a thing people were mad about back then. LOL) over the fact that the game isn't more like "Yoshi's Island" & that it feels like it's aimed more at younger audiences. I dunno. I've never been bothered much by games with some tie to one another doing something different. (Some of the response reminds me of Transformers fans being upset over Hasbro making toys and shows for very young children sometimes; admittedly maybe I'm off the mark here.)

It's a very easy game if you want it to be. You can just eat any fruits you want forever and it's over in a blink. And it's fine. It's fine if the video game lets you beat it very fast if you want to. You can also try to collect only one single kind of fruit in a level and that makes things take longer and makes them feel like more of a scavenger hunt (especially if you're trying to get all the melons). I think that's neat. There's sort of an interesting design trajectory from "Super Mario World" to "Yoshi's Island" where the levels become a little longer, a little more meandering, a little more exploratory, sometimes (not always, and not massively, but it's still there) a little less linear. No time limit. Going for collectibles instead; making every level about getting a score of 100 (if you want to). You can see that iterated on in "Yoshi's Story"! No singular end point of the level. Bigger rooms to explore (while still keeping levels relatively short). More of a focus on puzzle solving and exploration. Collectibles simplified to one meter that you fill up, but there are multiple things that can fill it & you get rewarded for only collecting one kind. (And also the hearts that let you pick what level you go to next. There's a lot of "opening up more of the game for yourself if you want to go out and look for it" here. Are there other collectibles, actually? I don't really remember...) Secret fruits that give even more points. It makes the levels feel more like puzzle box toys that you roam around in. It's neat that they designed that for younger kids and it's neat that you can make it more difficult if that sounds fun to you. (I would have to play more of it myself to decide if going for all melons is fun for me specifically. But I like it on paper, y'know?)

The pop-up storybook theming is cute and the visual aesthetic of the game overall works really well. It feels like arts & crafts dioramas made by kids (or with kids) so they could play pretend with their toys while reading a storybook. It's got very strong toy feel overall. The music is really fun!!! It does the dynamic soundtrack thing where some parts of the track change depending on your health!!! I'm always clapping my hands like a seal with a game's music changes depending what I'm doing!!! Maybe it's a little silly of me to say this, given that it's a sentiment I've had in the past, but nowadays I scratch my head a bit at "the music in this has no right to go this hard" type comments. It goes hard because the musicians got hired to make it like that. (I'm imagining a guy who thinks the "Yoshi's Story" music is the hardest music ever created and I'm smiling serenely about it. I hope he's real & I hope he's out there somewhere.) I'm glad they let Totaka do something that feels at least a little experimental for the goofy Yoshi babies storybook super happy yay & jumping throwing game soundtrack. It's a fun contrast, isn't it? It feels very of-the-era in a way I'm having trouble externalizing outside of "well it's a little weird and multi-genre". It's neat that they all have a shared melody that they draw on.

Thanks for reading my short essay on a childrens' video game I haven't played a lot of yet. I need to go take a shower now.

[unapologetiicapathy]

OKAY HELLO THERE FOLKS im here rn to tell you abt a heathers au i have where jd survives !! i wrote most of this vv late at night so forgive me if it doesnt make sense or if its dumb lol, also this is based off the movie bcuz i havent seen the musical yet

(copypasted from notes)

(putting it under the cut cuz its long as FUCK)

-okay so theres multiple versions i have of this au, in one of them jd and veronica arent together, but that made me kinda sad (my poor little mega-crush-on-jd heart doesnt want him to be lonely </3) so i have another au where their shared secrets end up keeping them together, and then that one also has two versions, one where they have a kid and one where they dont (this is proof i have too much free time amd i write shit way too late at night) (also i have way more hcs abt the "they do stay together" version lmao)

-so the bomb didnt work quite as well as he thought it wld. he still got blown the fuck up but not bad enough to kill him (obvi). someone called an ambulance (im not sure who but definitely not veronica /lh), he got rushed off to hospital, he was there for quite a while and got a lot of scars and stuff but somehow he managed to survive (they thought he was a total goner man)

-veronica didnt know he was still alive for a few weeks. the explosion was on the news, but she was majorly avoiding tv altogether at the time (no matter where you are the news is always reporting on some sort of death and tragedy, and it served as WAYYYYY too much of a reminder of what she and jd did). she didnt find out til she actually saw him in person

-she was at the 711 (or wherever the fuck they got the slushies from idk its midnight rn) getting potato chips (yes this is an important detail to me. dont ask me why.) and he happened to be there at the same time

-she totally freaked the hell out when she saw him ("no. no! youre dead! youre dead! youre fucking dead!" "well you see, the thing is, im actually not.") and it took her awhile to come to terms with the situation

-in the "veronica-less" au, they ran into each other a few times after that, veronica refused to talk with him, and he ended up leaving sherwood and going to. um. somewhere else idk thats honestly as far as i got with this version 👍👍👍

-in the "they stay together" version (holy fuck i need proper names for these man), they also kept running into each other, but this time it worked out different yk (god i sound stupid sorry). they were both rlly conflicted abt it. it was like they both wanted to see each other again, but at the same time it felt like the worst thing that cld possibly happen. but you see, it kept happening. and happening. and happening. its like they couldnt  avoid each other. and at some point or another, they started just wanting it to happen. then kind of actively trying to make it happen. and then he finally just asked her out. she said no bcuz she needed some time to think abt it (they did go out a couple weeks later tho)

-(skip back in time a lil here bcuz im a fuckin scatterbrain lmao) when veronica found out jd was still alive she was scared of him yk (i mean i wld be too if my supposed-to-be-dead ex showed up outta nowhere) but she realised that like. he changed. smth happened in his silly lil head when he nearlu died, and he realised that everything that happened was totally fucked up and he actually regrets it and wants to do things different yk. (wanna be a better person? have a near-death experience /j)

-youd expect them to go get slushies when they finally do go on a date. NOPE. they actually go out for breakfast and get waffles (jd absolutely 100% loves waffles and you cannot convince me otherwise)

-at some point or another, veronica buys him little vinyl dinosaur stickers (yknow like the kind you can put on laptops and helmets and stuff). i dont know when this happens. i dont know why this happens. but i know it happens.

-jd kinda wants to be a theatre actor for a lil while, he ends up having tiny roles in a few things but he never rlly has any cool roles yk (im not quire sure why this is part of my au now but its probably just bcuz i wanna watch the musical lmao)

-okay i told you there was two points where this au branches off and congratulations youve just reached the second point 👍👍👍 this is where the path splits between "jd and veronica with no kids" and "jd and veronica with a kid"

-in the "no kids" version, they cant have a kid bcuz theyre scared that they wont be able to raise a child properly and the kid will turn out like they did, and thats the scariest thought in the world to them

-in the "jd and veronica with kids" version (srsly i need the power to create au titles man eueueue), they have a teenage daughter named alina

-theyre super super SUPER protective of her and like theyre always fretting abt whether theyre doing a good job

-they dont tell her abt what they did in '88 bcuz theyre worried abt how shell react, sometimes they think maybe they shld say smth but they always end up agreeing to "just wait til later" (theyre never gonna tell her man theres no way in hell)

-jd knows that the only reason veronica was involved in the deaths was bcuz she was with him, and so he gets extra extra worried whenever alina starts dating someone bcuz hes scared that shell get taken down the same path that he took veronica down all those years ago (which is very unlikely but i mean can ya blame him?)

-jd 100% needs therapy but cant get it bcuz how the fuck do you tell a therapist that you murdered three ppl and then tried to explode yourself. so instead he has a diary he writes in every day and he uses it as sort of self-therapy (i tooooootally didnt just take one of my own personality traits or habits or wtvr the word is and give it to him. totally not. totally. 👍)

-uh thats it for now but i definitely have more au hcs tucked away in my one singular braincell, i just need to find em apparently- also apologies for the excessive parentheses 👍👍👍

[goatedgreen]

the thing i love about how haikyuu represents yachi hitoka's relationship with her mother is that they never present her mother as being wrong for the way she treats hitoka, just that the type of "tough love" she values is not always what hitoka needs to hear.

eg: the audience is immediately reassured (in the conversation between hitokas mum and her coworker) that she doesnt mean to come across as cold, just that she believes hitoka needs to become "tougher" (self assured) and that if that small piece of dejection is enough to make her not persue becoming the manager of the vball club, then she was never that passionate about it to begin with.

and this is shown to be true! despite this momentary upset from her mother, hitoka continues to try her best to get to know the vball club members and help them before officially being appointed as a manager. BUT she is still on the fence because of her own insecurities which were compounded by her mother.

hitokas mother is giving her advice, GOOD advice even, but the miscommunication comes from the fact that it is not what hitoka really needs to hear.

hitokas first piece of actual encouragement of course comes from kiyoko in that lovely scene they get in the changing room. while hitokas mothers advice was "if youre not 100% sure about something, you cant give it your all" (sound advice for someone with less anxiety maybe) kiyoko tells her "its okay not to be sure just yet, but if you give things a try, you could find yourself giving it your all anyway" . this is the first step for hitoka realising that her mothers words are incomplete (not wrong, just not the full picture)

welcome hinata to the picture. he WANTS her to be the new manager and he likes her as a person! his words of ENCOURAGEMENT are what finally drives her to realise that she CAN do something for herself and she is ABLE to do things outside of her comfort zone.

and once yachi is IN? her mother is there with the same philosophy she has always had, but this time hitoka's mindset has changed, she is READY to be driven forward . "thats not going to work, it doesnt stand out at all. who is your target audience, what are you trying to show?" the advice again is given in that "cold" tone, but now we as the audience , and finally hitoka, understand the true meaning of what is being said. its not to belittle or discourage, but to promote introspection.

the thing i love about this dynamic is that it is very realistic to the way a lot of parents thinm they need to encourage their children. its not necessarily incorrect, just wrongly timed.

hitoka was only able to come into her own AFTER being encouraged, as it gave her the CONFIDENCE to introspect the way her mother was trying to get her to do. in fact i would say it means that hitokas mum thinks quite highly of her daughter, believing she had the confidence to introspect all on her own without blatant encouragement needed

all this is to say that basically i love the dynamic between those two and that hitoka was able to get the encouragement she needed to become a more self assured person, which i think allowed her to come to a better understanding of her mothers words and own form of advice

a lesser show would have had hitoka just realising her mum was right all along! or would have demonised her mum for being too harsh! but i much prefer the realistic showcase of conflicting wants and needs, and that both sides of advice can be helpful or harmful depending on the person.

[ooooshetriesss]

Hey yall! Super quick reminder; This is MOST definitely a 18+ blog

(Which I feel is made clear) but IF for some reason I have blocked u, (which I usually never do) plz know it’s bcuz I saw u engaging w/my content/following me & either found indications u were underage OR no clear indication u we’rent a minor (ageless +faceless blogs/bios)

While I don’t owe an explanation of my boundaries to anyone as no is both as explanation & response; I NEVER wanna come across as rude/disrespectful to followers of my content, as well as the community in general, & while I understand ppl usually explore things prior to turning 18… I NEED YALL to know I CANNOT have me NOR my content have anything to do w/that… any creator who is ok w/that is probably someone u should stay away from.. while certain aspects of my post are msgs I think are important regardless of age, (I.e. being ace or Demi doesn’t make u less valid, or rope CAN absolutely be platonic)

THESE are NOT things you should be actively exploring in the community/looking up until ur of age..

Hell… for me, im insanely grateful finding rope when I did cause HAD I found it/ tried to get into the bdsm community at the fresh age of 18; holy f*ck …. I really don’t know if I would be alive (& that’s not an exaggeration; I’m 100% serious)

Rope + BDSM can be AMAZING & insanely fun & done safetly ; platonically in a cool environment.. it can be ALL those things…

But ONLY if you don’t rush into things; approach it w/AWARENESS, knowledge & care.

And a BIG part of that comes with age+experience idc what anyone says…

and NO! trusting the WRONG ppl or making a BAD CALL doesnt make u STUPID. hell; it makes u HUMAN!

and sadly, being younger makes us far more trusting.. it takes a few heart breaks/lessons to truly become aware NOT everyone means well… & to put it bluntly.. that is NOT soemthing u want to find out while you are bound at someones feet…

Can something still go wrong when ur of age OFC…

But u’ll be better equipped to where u maybe able to handle it…

A tree can’t heal when it’s hacked up as a young plant… it NEEDS a foundation..

Once it GETS that foundation.. even if something horrible happened… a huge storm took half of it out.. it’s more than likely able to grow back..

It’s not fully destroyed.

It actually has a fighting chance..

It’s the same concept waiting until ur of age to get into the scene.

Also, while I empathize with the amount of things this generation has been exposed to; to the point they’re truly desensitized when it comes to overtly graphic images both violent & sexual whether it be thru the internet + media..(hell even going to school everyday w/the knowledge u could be in class w/the next school shooter…

My dudes; my dudettes.. theydies, Naydies.. my brothers in keyboards & Christ…

I CANNOT… like absolutely CANNOT HAVE/ condone MINORS consuming my content/in my blog.. in my community.. anything like that.

(For what it’s worth; I’ll prob still be here up to the same shenanigans when ur actually of age so; u can swing by then)

But AS someone who was exposed to things that were FAR beyond appropriate for my age… someone who grew up & took pride in those words "Your so mature for your age" "youre so wise beyond ur yrs"

before those vry phrases were weaponized against me..

it affects u in ways you can’t even begin to fully appreciate until ur much older..

And while I always rolled my eyes hearing “you wouldn’t understand at your age” (bcuz most the times it was said to me; it was BS) this is absolutely a case & point where it applies 100%

If there’s 1 things an abundance of images LIKE these & the vast amounts of overtly sexual content out there (porn included) soils /absolutely destroy when it comes to young minds.. young ppl

It’s the most sacred thing of all…

Connection..

I can’t even begin to put into words or # the amount of yrs I suffered & connections I lost because of what was destroyed because of that.

It’s taken A LOT of healing… A LOT of shadow work, A LOT of therapy; lol. THAT work is why I have such a positive foundation for my play today.

But quite literally the most beautiful thing about all of this, gets destroyed..because u didn’t build ur ideas based off of actual human experience.. it was fantasies projected for you; onto u, scripts that wwre acted out infront of you to sell content, to sell an image..

but they dont make that differentiation; its just portrayed as 'how it is', all at a time when ur brain is STARVING for 1) information 2) connection .. a time in youe life when ur body is regulating its hormones & brain chemistry to create 'the adult its trying to become'

we really go thru 2 puberty's as humans; one in our teens & the other in our early 20's before our brain fully develops at 25.

(theres actually been recent studies that suggest neurodivergent brains don't finish fully developing until they're 30s ; something that would absolutely explain a lot in my personal case... & yet are seen/treated legally as ADULTS at 18..

Says a lot they don’t want u to drink till your 21; but you can sign your life away to the military at 18…👀

No one ‘magically’ turns into an adult at 18… life is SO much more complex than that. But it’s quite literally the bare minimum in giving urself a chance at a healthy happy relationship w bdsm or rope. (& if ur anything like me… you’ll probably still absolutely fk up then 😂; BUT you will be BETTER EQUIPPED to protect urself.

Save urself the trauma, the time… start exploring these themes-content when ur OF AGE!!!

So… if I blocked/remove u… PLS know..: it’s done out of love & protection.

💗♥️💗 ILU all

Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself. You are worth the wait. I promise… ANYONE playing+rigger who IS worth working w WILL NEVER pressure + press you…& they CERTAINLY wouldn’t even LOOK at u until u were of age. Full stop.

And ofc, if a creator says MDNI, RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES/consent.

Thank u for coming to yet another TedTalk; sincerely; @ooooshetriesss aka hummmmingbird aka Fil 💗

[37q]

i always try to tell confused gay ppl if u can make it work then it doesnt matter.

if you call yourself something and you still find love, cool! if you dont want to be called anything and would rather just walk your walk and you still find love, great!

if you face adversity for either of those choices, then you make more choices! you stick to your guns, or you mold to your social niche. no fault in either of those; sexiness moves around a lot. sometimes we can make those choices with unhealthy risk management, self-isolation or self-alienation for example, but if you can make it work healthily then it doesnt matter.

listen, its not a matter of you being 100% right or them being 100% right, thats not how social living works. all you need... is to be on the same page.

you tell someone youre a [controversial ID] and they roll their eyes, or scoff, or smack you, or turn to your friend and continue their conversation and dont really talk to you for the rest of the night, or rebuke your attempts at flirting. these are unfortunately standard risks of making acquaintances because introducing yourself is quite literally offering your first impression up for judgment. people spend way too much money attending courses on introductions and first impressions for this very reason.

what you do when your identity fails (lol i know but thats how the brain talks sometimes...) is spend your time with people that actually want it -- the validity of your stake in the social world doesnt rely on peoples excitement to sign your petition. being judged and not making friends isnt a moral failing on anyones part, no one is trying to make a grab for the Most Correct Judgment cup, and no one is putting you on a stage to be ridiculed en masse by a gang who deals exclusively in clout and sexual shame.

getting into ID disclosure... my first poetry professor always distinguished concrete from abstract language. concrete imagery leaves less room for interpretation than abstraction, but more details can evoke habitual reaction over emotional connection.

my takeaway for this post is that you cant fail at representing yourself if your goal is practicality. tailor your impression based on laziness and utility! whatre you there for, what context is relevant to your current social conditions, how do you connect with an audience and anticipate realistic social consequences, how do you simply embody a lifetime of complexity while noticing that everyone else stopped talking?

lets say you dont say 'what you are' all the way down to your sexual sub-strata. no chance for someone to clash with their idea of what your words mean, and maybe you can submit yourself to the ecstasy of being loved without trial! woohoo!

but can you feel 'seen' or 'heard' without explaining or defending yourself? does your new acquaintance vibe with the walk youre walking? what does it say about you if they like you or dont like you like this -- would it have felt better to persuade them?

do you feel like youre lying, like youre deceiving someone by letting them take you at face value? do you feel lost without social feedback or negotiation? do you love them as much as you love you?

[winderlylandchime]

(Lets all say a silent thank you to my cousin who suggested that I record him at major moments last week) 2/3And Brian said there’s nothing noble about being poor. (And my brother lost his mind. Im glad you gave me a heads up that you guys were wondering about this scene so i could film him) ‘Wait!!!!! hold up!!! Pause it! I’ve had thoughts about brian and money and *waves his hands while fast walking* stuff but I need my laptop! (he has over 20 google tabs opened with research about colleges in Pittsburgh that could do marketing degrees, how much it would cost and shit like that. One tab was also ‘how to learn to play violin in less than a week’ he said he wanted to see if its really that hard) Okay so! I’ve been thinking A LOT about this. So Mike said they were in the same school, remember? But Mike dropped out or something like that from college which to be fair, so did I and I think I’m doing fantastic, haters that go by the name mom and dad may disagree but I’m here for a fun time not to cure cancer, anyway back to Brian. Brian has this big fancy wearing suit type of job and he’s a partner remember? So that unfortunately demands a resume with big words on it like “college”. So Brian definitely went to college and he obviously worked his ass off since clearly him and Mike are nowhere near each other cash wise. I mean a loft like that? That he probably owns? At 30? Plus the suit wearing job? Yeah, he did a lot of work and probably even had straight As. Probably even in high school so he could get into college AND like how he keeps going at Justin for school? Remember him being impressed by his SATs and how he would make him study like crazy. Shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he even quizzed him during sex. Poor Justin for sure got a boner while taking a test. Wait im getting distracted! Anyway his *gags* dad also took money for him AND HE HAD IT FUCKING READY! He went to see him and he already had it ready! And just before his nephew said Brians sister says he doesnt give them any money which clearly not true to some level but clearly they saw him make money and they took it. And we both know that house was on fire! It was burning every day! This dude made it out alive but he most definitely got 3rd degree burns. So he for sure knew the only way out was to turn 18 and get into college far away and then never come back unless it’s for a funeral to make 100% sure that they are in in that box. So him saying there’s nothing noble about being poor is coming from a different place than what Justin is dealing with with that fucker. That dude is just a broke college student who got offered a deal that kinda sucks BUT he said it himself to Jen, his parents payed for shit, they supported him. Meanwhile Brian? Every single thing he has down to his drugs was bought by him. And i doubt he’d ever take anything from anyone because you know how shitty abusive parents are? They buy you a box of cereal once and then throw it in your face for 3 years straight. So he probably never got anything from his parents and if he did it came with a price *looks at paused Brian on tv and takes a deep breath* and probably some bruises too. So him saying and thinking that, is coming from a place of survival and “look what i did for myself” when everyone probably told him he’s never gonna be anything except maybe dead. And sure he clearly loves money and power since he’s even willing to work with that fucker but in some way can you blame him? He was powerless all his life. But if that would be Ethan who would say that? Now that’s different. It’s not exactly survival in the same sense *looks at me in worry* i fear, i lost the plot of the point..i will make it back but i need to think. *plays the episode again* ‘WHY WOULD THEY MAKE HIM JERK OFF TO RAGE?! No matter what he’s always gonna be obsessed with Brian. HE IS RUNNING WITH SPERM IN HIS CUP! RUN FORREST RUN. Is that really how this was done?’

WOW the character analysis from your brother… I personally think he’s spot on (I’ve given a lot of thought to Brian’s SES background and where he is financially and professionally at the start of the show… too much thought? Nah.) (Btw tell your brother some day that the fandom thinks Brian went to Carnegie Mellon - I love all his open tabs) And this is happening in parallel to Stockwell - Brian is clearly a take the money and who tf cares where it’s from because he had to be, he didn’t have any alternative. His advice makes perfect sense for him to have survived.

Cosign your brother’s analysis.

[softness-and-shattering]

Almost like a chronic issue, of something that sounds lile fatigue, couldnt possibly be chronic fatigue, right?

❤

Theres no such thing as 'real' and 'fake' disabled people, theres no test to pass. Sometimes it takes a lot of tests and time and just finding a dr who will listen to get things close to diagnosed. Youre not faking until someone gives you the stamp of approval, only you truly know what youre experiencing, you are the arbiter of your own truth.

If you have a condition or conditions, named or not, diagnosed or not, understood or not, that negatively impacts your life, then you can call yourself disabled. Welcome to the community. Whatever disability resources you can find and access are for you, use them, dont be shy about it. Try not to let community members gatekeep you. Gov and orgs etc usually will, which sucks, thays their problem, doesnt make you a faker, doesnt make you less needful or less deserving, it just makes them gatekeepers.

Theres always some amount of internalised ableism to work through, other peoples voices telling you to stop being lazy etc. And its super scary sometimes to realise 'oh shit im disabled'. Sometimes its also super freeing; theres a real reason youre struggling even if you dont know the specifics yet; and once youve accepted that you can adjust your standards, you can justify doing less, paying/asking others to do more, taking advantage of shortcuts, half- or quarter-assing things. Youre disabled. There is plenty of good life worth living. Theres also hardship but you know that already. Let yourself be.

With chronic fatigue especially, you wanna take it really easy, work out how much you can do and do not push yourself, stay well clear of your limits and I mean well clear. You might want to be seeing an exercise physiologist, maybe an OT, go from there. Thr other name for chronic fatigue is ME, or Myalgic Encephalomyalitis, if Ive spelled that correctly. Also id suggest a blood test for your vitamin levels and um thyroid functiom, and maybe some kind of sleep study? Multiple things can cause fatigue so best to try cover your bases. Possibly also allergens?

Tldr: if you want to call.yourself disabled you 100% have the right to. Its a community label not a diagnosis, a lot more people could claim it than do. If you want in, youre in. There is knowledge and resources that can help. Your experience is real. You are not alone. ❤

Well obviously I can’t have chronic fatigue, that’s a real problem for real disabled people that’s diagnosed by doctors probably. Clearly I just have some sort of perpetual exhaustion issue, that is also almost certainly my fault somehow

[castlebyersafterdark]

For example, Will never saying he's gay but WE KNOW THAT if you watch the show (perfect example of show don't tell - though words do have power in the right story setting. Multiple things can be true). And in interviews they blatantly confirm it. But not everyone watched interviews or reads articles. We understand that from watching. Let's say an interview came out and someone from the show said "Joyce is bisexual by the way" and... ok? Word of god? Because the average watcher would NEVER land there and hey maybe she's been bisexual the entire time but why would we ever gather that?

i would say even film adaptations are standalone works of art. theyre based on a book or play, not a direct translation of. of course, many are aiming to please pre-existing fans, like HP. but its hard! fans forget that lots gets lost in translation. you can't really know what will work unless you have a deep knowledge of both mediums (writing literature and making films), and few creators do.

this is why i think that any knowledge from the original content is supplementary.

your example of will is so lovely... our will! i do feel viewers would have to be blind to not see he is in love with mike during s4, although i know lots of people personally who didnt, and i dont think thats a bad thing per se. when i say blind i don't always mean it as an insult! theyre just less perceptive, or focused on other parts of the plot, and thats ok! if they still dont see it after s5, or if they DENY it, thats a different matter entirely.

i also think will's sexuality is very very important to queer viewers, understandably, although as of s4, most audiences would assume will was gay (not bi or otherwise), and they would not see harm in supposing that.

this is why the mike discourse also confuses me. i will wait until the story plays out to judge how the duffers go about revealing mike's orientation, and whether or not he at 18 needs to have that completely figured out yet. for me it is enough for him to be in love with will - i dont need him to specify if he's gay or bi or otherwise as of right now.

and going by your example of will and joyce... yeah the joyce thing would be ... odd? i mean it doesnt matter to the story whether she is bi or not. if we found out she was, great! but would it matter? ofc it matters to joyce, but she's a character who exists to tell a narrative. if her sexuality is not relevant to the narrative, then its no bad thing for fans to only find out that supplementary knowledge through their own research.

lastly i actually wouldn't consider the ST play supplementary YET, because it did not contribute to the story of ST in any meaningful way YET. once s5 is out, perhaps it will be

Agree!!! Cosigned.

Example. I never got too upset over the changes between the LOTR movies and changes from the book. They are 2 separate entities for me. The books are the books. The movies are the movies. I have knowledge of both. I'm not going to get upset over what's different from one to the other - I can read the book if I wanted. Oh, but if audiences only watch the movies, they'll never know that actually XYZ - yeah. They won't. What we are gonna do?

Anyway. The play!! I know that certain things from the play are going to feature in the show, most definitely. We don't know what details yet. That's why I prefer focusing on themes and big picture stuff as informative aspects of the stage play before using hyper focused stuff from it to inform really staunch ideas about what we can expect in season 5. YET - you nailed it. Yet. Perhaps things will be present, perhaps things won't. It's in limbo. And if you've seen the play or have extensive knowledge of it, I'm sure it's fun to consider the thing 100% canon and important and maybe it's bitterness for having not seen it though I'm not actually that bitter or anything, wrong word choice, just not something I personally will factor YET into the show itself.

For as much as I love all the Stranger Things comics and the Robin book (still need to read Lucas, Dustin, and do more than a skim of Eddie's) - and even if there are aspects in there that are soooo cool and great and support some of my personal ST ideas - to me they are all still supplemental since you can still watch the show and that's all. The show as a stand alone piece of media!!

this is why the mike discourse also confuses me. i will wait until the story plays out to judge how the duffers go about revealing mike's orientation, and whether or not he at 18 needs to have that completely figured out yet. for me it is enough for him to be in love with will - i dont need him to specify if he's gay or bi or otherwise as of right now.

I tend to agree with this. WHILE I am 100% a gay Mike truth and I am not saying it doesn't matter because I personally think that him being bi or gay or straight completely changes his character interpretation - we need to see season 5 to get his finished point of view and it is an important aspect to consider - not everyone knows at age 16 or 18 what exactly is going on with themselves and maybe that's the arc we are getting with Mike and for TV? Well, if his story is to close some may argue for conclusions and closure sake we need him fully realized at the finality of the show - but maybe his arc is about accepting parts of himself and recognizing aspects but you know how I always say we are all works in progress? It's a TV show but it's ok if a character is a work in progress. Enough to see that they are on the right path, that their future is headed on the upwards, his ending is a happy one, bittersweet, but rewarding to the viewer. Mike is complicated, controversial. We learn enough to get there and understand him as a viewer and his arc is satisfying, and it's ok if at the end a character can still grow. That's human. That's real. Maybe Mike never says The Word re: orientation. But the path is there, the tools are there, he and Will are there.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[marshmallowprotection]

I mean, yes, forcing Jihyun is a bad idea but we all saw what happens to him in Ray route. It's not like we as MC didn't try to talk him out of his self-sacrificing ideas there, yet in the end it still went to sh*t.

And yes! Jihyun 100% needed a therapist after what he went through with his mom and the fire. Such a traumatic experience for a child/teen and no one cared except for Jumin.

That's why I will always hate V's father. His treatment of V's mom aside, that mf didn't care about his son at all. Didn't even try to help Jihyun after he barely survived the fire and 10 years later comes back asking "WhY dOeSnT hE wAnT tO SeE mE?"

I wouldn't want to see him at mine and Jihyun's wedding.

Yes, you do talk to Jihyun. You respond and assure him that he can trust in his friends for once. It seems like he's on the track to listen to you in this situation, but he... doesn't. He decides to take what you'd done for Saeran into account. He looked back to Rika and decided he needed to devote himself properly, no longer pushing her demons or suffocating her burning light, but drowning in her fire instead. It was an opening for him to say, "Rika is at her lowest, I can remove her to stop the hurt at Mint Eye."

He takes away the wrong lesson from how MC cared for Saeran and thinks that he needs to try a different approach to help Rika. What he really needed to do was turn to the RFA as he does in his Route and take off the weight of the truth. He and Rika need so much help for their trauma and there's no progress coming when they're both at the point where they decide to drown in disillusion instead.

But, V made that choice for himself. He had the option to move forward but the choice to step back was made. It hurts to watch, however, he made that choice when he could've come with Saeran and MC back to the RFA. In his Route, he was ripped away from Mint Eye and more or less forced into dealing with it. He couldn't avoid it that way. It's not the same in Ray Route because you and Saeran are able to flee together while V lingers in the background.

It's natural to regress and struggle when you're trying to work on getting to the next step. A lot of people don't realize that or get to understand it. It's a messy road to recovery and finding yourself after suffering for so long, and you're not going to come out of it without bruises. V hasn't been helped with his grief or pain at all. He is driven by the weight of his mother's passing. He knows he is. But, even if he is aware of it, it doesn't mean he knows how to move past it or move on.

He's always felt conflicted about his mother... but the weight of him seeing her give her life for him in a fire while the flames scorched his body? That's traumatic in ways that I can't even explain. There's not a doubt in my mind that he's got burn scars despite what his mother did for him. He's covered in aches and pains from that experience. It isn't something that he could've helped on his own. He had Jumin at the time, but Jumin was a child just like him. Jumin did what he had the ability to do for him, and V was lucky to have that much.

Jihyun's Father is a piece of work. V's got a stepmother and a half-sister that not many people know about because a good chunk of the information is in the Special Believer box thanks to Rika's Diary. His dad made another family and he was just the remains of a broken marriage that had no clue of the extent of the truth because his dad easily lied to his face. V was made to believe certain things because his dad weaponized him against his mother.

The emotional neglect and abuse that V suffered run deep. Even as he tried to make some kind of relationship with his mother, his dad was right there, tugging and pulling strings that ruined it. He was so fearful of his father. His realization that truly being himself in front of that man was so bad, he was willing to yell at his mother for trying to do something nice for him. He couldn't understand that she tried to help him come out of his shell.

He was too afraid of his father to do anything... and he didn't come to realize that until he was older and had the means to make sense of it. His mother suffered because of his father, and she continued to hurt because of the things that man did to her son. Yet, never once did his mother stop loving him. She loved him until he died for him, and will continue to love him as a spirit beyond this Earthly realm. That kind of eternal love influenced Jihyun about as much as his intense fear of becoming his father.

"Never abandon the ones you love, even if means you lose your life to protect them because you know they deserve the world" mixed with "If you abandon the ones you once loved, they will suffer and it's all your fault for being selfish enough to put your want first" is not a very good combination.

To the extreme end, these teaching mold V into the person he later becomes. He becomes a person that refuses to give up even though he's burning himself alive and unfortunately... in his doing so, taking other people down with him. You see the extreme ends of this while you play Ray Route and 707 Route... because nothing keeps him in check and forces him to see the problem the way that it does in his route.

I think that's one of the interesting things about him. The way that he will burn himself to no end to save others. He and Saeyoung actually have that in common, unfortunately.

However, I totally support you beating the shit out of Jihyun Kim's father. Call me when you do. I have been waiting to hit that man with a bat for God knows how long.

[i-like-gay-books]

lately been seeing a lot of pushback against the pushback against intellectual elitism, crying anti-intellectualism, and there are a few reasons this is bothering me which i’m going to try to list here to the best of my abilities all in one sitting because otherwise i’ll forget to finish it:

1. the whole attitude against consuming “easy” media like marvel or mainstream movies or books, etc, is intellectual elitism no matter how you sugar coat it. im not saying it’s intentionally malicious, in fact i believe most people doing it are unaware they’re doing anything at all. the thing is that privilege can affect you in many different ways, and the level of media you are able to consume and have an enjoyable experience with is one of those ways.

i am very well educated in language and writing, so reading experimental stories where the syntax and turn of phrase is almost more important than the actual plot or characters is easy and even sometimes enjoyable for me. however, i have next to no media literacy when it comes to films. i can watch something more artistic or experimental, but i likely won’t understand it even close to the amount i need to in order to enjoy it. it would take a lot of effort to fully understand and even if i got to the point of understanding it the effort it took would make the experience much less enjoyable.

i hope i explained that well enough. it’s kinda hard to put into words

2. it’s ableist. full stop. i’m not even joking here i saw someone seriously type out and post something that said people are using this callout of intellectual elitism as a way to hide the fact that they’re all just “jocks who don’t play sports.” that doesnt directly relate to this point in particular i just remembered it. 

yes, less artistic or intentionally intellectual/ thought provoking pieces of art are easier to consume. speaking as someone who has not only dealt with chronic burnout myself but who is part of a generation of people living day in and day out with chronic burnout, sometimes easy media is all i can handle. by which i mean, most times. and its easier to consume again. and again. and again and again.

burnout is just one example of course, many disabilities can cause a lack of energy to devote to activities that are for leisure. and even without disabilities, humans are meant to rest. nobody wants to be thinking critically or philosophically 100% of the time.

3. communities are much larger surrounding mainstream/ easy to consume media. obviously that doesnt make it more worthwhile, but it does come with its own certain set of benefits. also you know what mainstream fandoms have a shit ton of? fan work. look at fan fiction and fan art and fan theories and tell me those people are not thinking critically and engaging meaningfully with their source material. just try to tell me. 

some people work better with more hands on, creative pursuits. my favorite subjects growing up were always math and english, because there was a way to be involved, and not just be told the answers, the story. science and history never offered me that, at least not as openly. learning styles are different, and just because we’re talking about a leisure activity here doesnt mean that fact changes or becomes irrelevant.

this is just me word dumping onto a document because i didnt want to hijack a post at 12:30 at night, but these are a few of the reasons this “anti-intellectualism” accusation has been leaving a bad taste in my mouth for the few months its been going on. feel free to add on or ignore or whatever, i dont really care. i just needed to write it down and get it out there.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

boyfriend!bakugou headcannons

before dating

- will start noticing you only after you either,,

A) do something intentionally heroic

B) do something incredibly stubborn/borderline reckless to save someone

-there is no room in his big boy ego brain for anyone who doesn’t possess hero qualities,, soz thats just the way it is

-thats not to say he would only date someone from the hero course tho,, he would 100% take interest in someone from any course

-as long as they’re as dedicated to helping others and giving their 100% to everything they do,, he’d be happy

-would watch you for a long time but would be incredibly obvious about it. he’d try and hide it and be sneaky, but everyone knows. even you.

-when he finally asks you out, there was not a single plan involved. he just saw you alone and decided to man up about it on a whim

-that being said- after he does ask you out, he immeadiately panics about what to do on your first date. que frantic google searching-

top searches from that night include

how do cool guys dress

how to stop blushing

first date ideas that arent romantic

why am i sweating so much

-first date is an utter disaster by traditional standards

-he takes you somewhere with an athletic aspect- like minigolf or laser tag. he pays for you but immeadiately follows it up with “you better actually play and don’t just make me waste my money! its not gonna be fun kicking your ass unless you try, got it?”

-you have fun and can’t stop smiling- but not bc lil katsuki is charming you.

-no, you’re smiling bc he’s embarrassing himself at every turn trying to impress you. at first it’s a little off-putting, but then you realize just how much he cares and it’s kinda cute

-cute in the a dog-chasing-it’s-tail-until-it-gets-dizzy-and-falls-over kinda cute; but adorable nonetheless

-bakugou walks away from the date thinking he crushed it. just absolutely blew it out of the water,, there’s no doubt in his mind even though there 100% should be

early relationship

-incredibly touchy,, but not in like traditional or “cute” ways

-prior to you, bakugou’s only significant feeling was pure rage,, so needless to say he doesn’t know how to handle his sudden urge to touch you all the time

-he’s super nervous about it and doesn’t know if it’s suddenly okay hug and touch you as much as he wants to,, so he resorts to less traditional means of skinship

-so he’ll flick your forehead when you smile just right at him. he’ll pinch your cheeks when you talk too much. he’ll drop his hand flat and heavy over yours while you’re writing,, just so the pencil skitters across the page and you yell at him.

-he’ll push you over. not like a hard shove or anything,, but if he sees you sitting on the ground or squatting, he’ll just sort of push you over??? especially if you’re standing up from a chair,,

-ofc he catches you before you can fall or anything, but really he just uses “saving” you as an excuse to touch you

-he’ll push at you, catch you, and then smirk at you with “god, you’re so clumsy. i won’t always be around to save your sorry ass, you know.”

-it’s annoying so you just push him away and glare, but unfortunately for you, that’s what he wanted the whole time bc he’s a little shit

-that being said,, he’s still suprisingly sweet in even weirder ways

-bakugou’ll make you food. but he’ll never be around when you eat it,, you’ve tried before to eat the meals he cooks for you right after he cooks them, but he gets too embarrassed and finds an excuse to leave right when you’re about to eat the first bite

-he’ll tease you. a lot. about everything. but nobody else can tease you,, if somebody’s embarrassing you, bakugou will either threaten them until they stop talking or make a scene until nobody is paying attention to you anymore

-he’ll leave you little notes. most of them just have little doodles on them with reminders about homework or training, but they’re cute nonetheless

-when he takes you out on dates his hands always crackle when he first sees you. you’ve come to learn that the more dressed up you are, the more his palms will crackle

-normally you have to be the one to initiate any sort of romantic contact,, pls just kiss him already he’s almost always thinking about it but cant find the courage to do so

-when he does kiss or hug you on his own accord,, don’t say anything. he’ll pull away super quick and get all red!!!

established relationship

- suuuper clingy

-, not in the sense that he’s constantly phyiscally all over you,, he just won’t go anywhere with the class if you’re staying back, or will just follow you around the whole day if he’s got nothing else to do

-like,, if the bakusquad is looking for him they’re honestly just better off looking for you since he’s never far behind

-strangely enough, bakugou’s pretty quiet?? if he’s comfortable around you, he’ll stop being so prideful and picking so many arguments.

-his whole badass front at school wears him out,, so if katsuki comes to hang out with you after a long school day he’ll probably want to sit and just listen to you talk

-is a whole ass cat when it comes to physical affection. he normally acts indifferent entirely, but when he wants attention he wants attention

-might as well just drop everything you’re doing since he’s gonna throw you on the bed and just lay directly on top of you until you stop fighting him

-pet his hair super softly and tell him he’s strong and that you’re proud of him pls,, katsuki will cry

-formal dates happen less often now, but you see him more,,, in fact, you’re almost never without him. when he’s not doing school or studying or training katsuki is always where you are

-he’s pretty possessive and jealous- not just of like other guys, but literally anything that’s getting your attention. see examples 1 & 2

1.) ooo new book that has you super enthralled??? soz, it’s not just your book anymore. katsuki sits you on his lap and tells you that the only way he’s gonna let you continue to “waste your time on something so stupid” is if you read it out loud to him

2.) omg you got a new puppy that you’re just enamoured with?? tough, it’s bakugou’s puppy now too,, and he never lets it leave his side so the only way you’re gonna get to cuddle with the puppy is if you cuddle with bakugou too

-he’s super proud of you so he’ll introduce you as his s/o to everyone he meets,,, and if the person he’s talking to also has an s/o??? good lord katsuki would never shut tf up about how much better and stronger and cooler you two were than the other couple

-is not embarrassed about pda. at all. if everyone already knows you’re together than there’s nothing to hide,, he thinks that since he put in all the work to get you to love him than he should be able to reap the rewards,, anywhere. at anytime.

-that being said, he does find showing affection in front of others to be v v embarassing!!! so to combat that he turns it up to 11 and flirts and flusters you so bad so that all the 1A guys just think he’s super cool and manly with u instead of soft

-that being said, the second you guys are alone it’s like a switch has been flipped and you could fluster him only by batting your eyes just right

-insists you ‘cook’ with him. katsuki doesn’t let you do much but like cut up vegetables or stir, but he likes to listen to you talk while he does everything else

-generally pretty touch starved but only really indulges if you make the first move. like, he won’t ever tell you to come sit with him on the couch, but if you sit down?? then immeadiately he’s pulling you into his side and doesn’t let you up until he’s ready to get up as well

-still pokes and flicks and shoves you. also now feels comfortable enough to prank you. he thinks you’re adorable when you get mad enough to yell at him so prepare to be mad a lot.

-tells you he loves you damn near constantly. he wont say it first tho bc ~tsundere~ but after you admitted it first, he’ll say it. and once you know??? then he’s gonna make sure it’s known,,, blasty baby doesnt do anything half-assed esp not something as important as showing his love

-he likes to pick out your clothes for you bc otherwise you’ll walk about looking too cute and its a problem bc he never figured out how to get his hands to stop crackling

-will call you dumbass, idiot, moron, halfwit, klutz, etc in public but in private it’s usually princess or little brat or very rarely baby

[hxneydreamers]

How can i deal with doubts and fear when manifesting? I usually affirm all day in my head because thats what makes me confident. However some days i wake up feeling stressed and doubtful. I say to my self that negativity doesnt bother me but im worried. I know negative thoughts dont manifest unless i give them power but i dont wanna feel bad. Im actually manifesting my ex back, and i feel like i miss him so much sometimes. What should i do?

Hey !!! Thanks so much for asking your question, and omg let me just tell you that this is totally normal and happens to the best of us!!!! Especially when you're manifesting someone who you are emotionally attached to and have a history with, this is pretty normal and I 100% have experienced this, and honestly sometimes still do, but much less frequently now.

As far as missing him goes, take a minute to look around at your surroundings. Imagine what you guys would be doing and saying to each other if he were physically there with you, try to picture it and feel it. What kind of things would you be doing? How would you feel and how would he feel? Try to imagine as you go along with your day that he is there with you, following you around and constantly telling you he loves you and needs to be with you and that you're the one being chased by him and saying things like 'yes ok, of course you're in love with me. I'm a prize and I'm always worshipped'.

Also, I recommend listening to affirmations at night to drum it into your subconscious. This worked wonders for me, because it gave me a lot less stress, as I started to trust that I could just relax and while I slept it would do it's thing.

A way to help you feel really great as well is to listen to music that brings you joy and makes you feel really great, and same with movies, tv shows, etc! I'd get dressed up and walk around like everyone is staring at me thinking I'm so irresistible hahah. Immerse yourself in things that make you feel amazing about yourself and just generally happy!

Honestly, once I started to do all these things I started thinking about my SP less and less, and thats when I knew it was working and literally stopped having any fears or doubts creep in at all, because I knew and felt like I was the one being chased and I knew that I was on the pedestal now. Once you get rid of that need for them, it just starts to work fast.

Here are some additional notes just to keep you on the right track:

Firstly, when you affirm all day, are you affirming for your SP or for self concept? I would advise that you take some time to focus specifically on your self concept so that you take them off the pedestal. If you feel like you're constantly focused on the SP, prioritise yourself, then they will reflect this by prioritising you too :) Also when you do affirm for your SP, combine it with self concept,

Secondly, remember that when you're feeling good and then suddenly a doubt or fear pops up, that could just be your old thoughts purging so that your new story can come in! Try to remember this if this happens, because it just means you're getting closer and closer to it.

Thirdly, make sure that you're trying to assign positive meanings to things. Try not to focus on the 3D as much as possible obviously, but if for some reason you can't ignore it, just make it work for you and it will help you feel more at ease while you're going on with your day.

I know you can do this and that it's done for you! Sending all my love <3

[capricioussun]

Your enthusiasm is greatly appreciated !!!

I will start with a little stuff abt Heartfell since I feel I haven't talked much about it, which, I will admit, is partially because it's given me much more of a hard time than a lot of my other AUs. I'm not sure if it's just because of how much I want to """perfect it""" (which would be ironic) or if it's just one of those things where no one's really asked, so I haven't really gotten the chance to talk someone's ear off and bounce ideas, which is generally the biggest method I have for fleshing stuff out. But! Either way, I'll have to figure it out eventually!

It would also probably surprise no one that I've thought most about the Papyrus from this au, so let's start with him!

Since the concept of the au revolves around how twisted the idea of Love can get, each character is kind of meant to represent various kinds of "toxic love". Papyrus's special brand is tied to Popularity and Acceptance. He will go to great lengths to earn someone's approval, but he always goes too far and generally (semi-unintentionally) intimidates them into trying to please him.

Frankly, both of the brothers intimidate the other Snowdin residents, although Sans does so absolutely on purpose, and regularly threatens people behind Papyrus's back to keep up the ruse that he’s so well like and admired.

Personality wise, Papyrus is actually quite a lot like his UT counterpart, more so than most other Fell type Papyri. He is very braggadocios, proud, and deflective of any negativity directed his way. However, this is sort of less of an act than with UT Rus, and he's generally also less inclined to say kind things about others that aren't also still about himself.

To no one's surprise, he’s actually deeply self conscious, and really genuinely does want to be well liked. But that's not how things work underground, and he couldn't protect them before he started putting out his front. He’s very vain, as appearance is very important in their universe, but the problem is he doesn't fully understand what that means, and just tries to follow any/every example he can, especially anything influenced by Mettaton, who he completely idolizes.

Basically, he comes off very intense, rather unpleasant and self obsessed, but it's a thin veneer. Once Frisk shows genuine interest in spending time with him and actually enjoying his company, he literally doesn't know what to do with himself. As much as he denies it, he’s aware how fake everything in their society is, and so Frisk sincerity is so...jarring. He's so confused, and then he can get a little defensive about things he doesnt understand, but once he realizes it really doesn't have to be the way it is, he is 100% on board with helping Frisk change things, which means that Sans is, too (however much he intently scrutinizes every thing the kid does. It would hurt Papyrus and Toriel so badly if the kid betrayed them, so he'll do what he can to help, but he’s got his eye on them...)

-twirling my hair- would anyone like to know more about lovefell or heartfell