#doesn't know how to use lighting - uses it anyway dkjdg

[lampmeeting]

dethmas dec. 14 - mordhaus office party

whoops i forgot the 'mordhaus' part of this prompt.... oh well. this is magnus feeling lonely at the dethklok home for wayward musicians christmas party ;~;

small fic explanation under the cut:

Usually the little chime of a text message wasn't enough to wake Toki, but this time it did. He slowly rolled over onto his stomach, pulled up his sleep mask, and grabbed the phone off the night stand. It was six in the morning, and Magnus had sent him a text.

> Hey you awake

Well, he was now. But he wasn't going to say that to Magnus. He blinked hard and squinted at the keyboard as he messaged him back.

> Yup :) whats up???

There was no immediate reply, so Toki sat back against the pillows and rubbed his eyes. Before too long, the chime sounded again.

> I'm at the work thing

Oh, that was right. If it was six in Mordland that meant it was... (Toki counted on his fingers and stuck out his tongue) ten at night in Phoenix. And Magnus was still at his employee Christmas party.

> Are you having fun?? ;)

The ellipses popped up for a second then disappeared. Then again. Then nothing. Toki frowned at the screen as he waited. Maybe there was a bad signal. Maybe one of Magnus' friends got his attention. There were probably all sorts of games and foods to eat and people to talk to. It was understandable that Magnus would get pulled in all directions over the course of the night and forget to text back.

A couple minutes passed and still no reply. Yeah, Magnus must've been off having a good time. Toki rolled out of bed, figuring he might as well wake up for real and hop in the shower.

The phone rang. It was Magnus.

"Hey!" Toki answered. He could hear distant music in the background and the hum of conversation. "You didn'ts needs to call, Magnus, I knows you're busy."

Magnus said nothing. Toki angled the phone against his ear but still only heard murmurings and a lively piano rendition of Jingle Bells.

"Hellos?"

Maybe he'd been butt-dialed. Wouldn't have been the first time.

"Magnus, ams you there? Helloooooos?" He laughed under his breath, shaking his head. "Okay, Toki ams gonna hangs up n--"

"Sorry," came a quiet voice. "I'm, uh. I'm here."

"Magnus! There you ams!"

"Yeah."

"Thoughts you calleds me askidentals."

"No." A hard sigh came through the phone like static. "I just...no, I dunno. Sorry, I shouldn't have. Go back to sleep."

"Ams okay. I wants to hears all abouts this party!"

Magnus, again, went silent.

"Magnus?"

Nothing. Toki tried again.

"Ooo, you gotta tells me what kindsa cookies they gots--"

"I can't do this anymore."

The words poured slowly into the pit of Toki's stomach like bad milk, and he sunk to sit on the edge of his mattress. "Whats you means...?"

He caught the sound of a shuddering breath on the other end.

"I dunno... I dunno, this just...it's bullshit. I want you here, bud. With me."

Tears stung in the corners of Toki's eyes and he fiddled with one of the buttons on his Christmas pajamas. "You knows I wants that too."

"I know."

"But we can'ts yet."

"...I know. Sorry, uh...sorry."

"Magnus..." Toki cradled the phone closer, trying somehow to transfer the gentle touch through the signal. "Soons, okay?"

He heard a sniffle. "Yeah."

"Magnus, hey..."

"No I know, I'm fine." After a couple more sniffles, Magnus cleared his throat with the phone turned away. "I'm fine. For real. It's just, yeah, um..." He huffed a short, joyless laugh into the receiver. "It's really, really fucking lonely here. Y'know?"

Toki knew. All too well.

"And I, uh," Magnus continued, meandering and unsure, "I just. Yeah. Everybody else brought someone to this fucking party, like husbands and girlfriends and shit. And there's dancing. We...maybe we could've danced together. Or something."

Toki wiped at his eyes. "That woulds've been fun."

"Yeah." Magnus was quiet again for a moment, and the delicate piano in the background played Silent Night. "Well, anyway...I just wanted to hear your voice real quick. I'll, uh...I'll let you go now."

"You don'ts haves to."

"No, someone's gonna see me if I sit out here in the dark too long. They already think I'm a fucking weirdo as it is."

"You ams a weirdos." Toki pressed his lips to the phone in an audible smooch. "And this weirdos loves you lots and lots, ."

"Love you, too, bud."

"Go tries and haves fun, okay? Dos it for Toki?"

"Yeah, yeah...fine. I'll eat a fucking gingerbread man on your behalf, how's that sound."

They shared a little laugh, and then Toki heard what he could swear was a smooch against the phone on the other end.

"Thank you," Magnus said in no more than a whisper. "I miss you."

Before Toki could answer in kind, the call ended. He sat there on his bed in the darkness, circling his thumb around the 'call' icon and thinking. Would it really have been so bad if he'd gone to that party? Most of the employees there knew him well enough that a simple Santa hat wouldn't have fooled them, but maybe that would've been okay.

Soon, he told himself. Once he got up the courage to talk to Nathan. Whenever that would be. But soon. It had to be soon.