#do you guys think there's cheese in the great beyond? rinds of parmesan?

[smeezy845]

"In case I make it," Bracelet because I already made a will wood bracelet with The Normal Album colors

[immoralimmortals]

A Song With Ten Names

Chapter 2: Tomcat Disposables

Chapter 1 ☆ Next chapter

Summary of chapter: The traveler commits the sin of being too small but still taking up space. She has three secrets locked in glass, see-through and fragile if someone bothers to look.

Please regard the notes and warnings of chapter 1 if you have not read it already. The song for this chapter is Tomcat Disposables by Will Wood as both breaks and in-universe, lyrics not entirely complete or in order.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Is there cheese in the great beyond?

Rinds of Parmesan

Wine to water, night from dawn

Life gets shorter, teeth grow long

Mind me not, and I'll

Mind my own, and my mind's

Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours

Do I belong in right and wrong?

Nature, I guess

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

They’re hard to keep up with, she finds out pretty fast. Stomach twisting itself into knots isn’t helping either, and she isn’t sure if she likes or hates that she’s been starving past the point of tummy growls since it means they won’t know. Point is, the traveler is pretty sure the masked guy doesn’t care and the priest is maliciously oblivious. Always a yard or two behind them, grateful she at least has her boots for the roots and rocks underfoot for going wherever the hell they were already meant to, with or without her. “Hidan” only looks back to harass her into agreeing with...whatever he’s chiding “Kakuzu” about. Frankly, it’s mostly going over her head.

She isn’t excited to find out if he’s the pop quiz type.

Kakuzu, on the other hand, hasn’t looked back once. Stands to figure he must have gotten his questions out of the way, made sure they hadn’t crossed the thin line into being the kidnappers instead of...whatever else this makes them. Rescuers? Hidan would say so. The stranger isn’t eager to agree.

And then, it happens. The loudest stomach ache known to mankind. It had saved every drop of energy she had left to give one last roar before it threatened to eat itself. She immediately tenses, every sound capable of getting her neck broken. Wide eyes scatter between the back of the men’s heads.

…

…

...Nothing. Just walking, again and still. A sigh of relief breaks free.

Kakuzu turns his head. He feels his eyes look through her again. Well. Shit.

“Hidan.” His partner acknowledges, annoyed as always as they stop in their tracks. “Take care of that.”

He cocks a brow. “Of what? Catering hand and foot? She ain’t a fucking princess!” Clearly, she thinks.

“And you’re testing my patience with this.” Can she shrink? Now would be a great time to be able to shrink. As tiny as possible…!

Hidan tsks. “Softie. Come on then!” He gestures, palm up and fingers grasping. “Cough up the coin.”

“No.”

She squeaks.

“Either you give YOUR rations, or you figure something out. I made the terms clear. No expense over this.”

Ohhhh no. Oh. No. Her hands fold and unfold with mounting anxiety as she studies Hidan. It’s impossible to distinguish if he’s just inconvenienced or truly upset. Is he a sacrificial man? Or is he too selfish? Too prideful for this ultimatum?For a man of many expressions, bizarrely, at least in the day they’ve known one another, he’s proven to be a dangerously tough read.

He narrows his magenta eyes, and she flinches back as he spins around, right in her personal space--

...Just to pass by without a look, cloak fluttering away.

“Alright then! Fine. Asshole.”

Leaves crunch once, twice, thrice, four times and more till they start getting more distant. In confusion, it finally strikes her that maybe she’s meant to follow-- till that cold grip takes her shoulder.

“Not you.”

Her chin tilts up, taking all of Kakuzu in. The length of his shadow covers to the top of her head. His own eyes take their turn to narrow suspiciously.

“Trust me. I’m doing you a favor.”

Hungry, she swallows her doubts again in hopes to taste something but fear.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

One night one flung light through this place

So I run for cover, over, under, left the rind out on the plate

Little heart racing and praying, "Something, keep me safe"

I think it saw my face

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

He’s looking at her. If she wasn’t sure before, she sure as hell is now that she doesn’t like him looking at her, at least if it’s always so intense as this. An old tree accepts her weary spine for rest, her thin blue sweater sleeves a plaything for hands that have no control over anything else. What seem to be red clouds float over the cloth Kakuzu wears, a ring sitting between his knees as its hand dangles over one leg while he sits on a stump. His other hand reaches into the chest of his cloak. Once again, a book is pulled, and there’s brief gratitude as his eyes lower.

Till he throws the book her way.

“Ah!” It’s too soft to call a shriek, but the emotion is still there and downright embarrassing.

“Read the first page.”

...Ah. She opens it up not quite to the left-most page but corrects the mistake, fingers as careful as if bending it would be a sin, though, clearly, this is a well-worn read. Page one: it’s a face. Mugshot, even? A paragraph of text slides either up or down- she doesn’t fucking know which. She just needs to hold it long enough to be convincing.

…

“Out loud.”

Her cheeks deceive her first, bright red and hot in a flash. What does she DO? What can she do?!

“I-- I—”

One secret uncovered. Fucking HOW-?!

“I’m. Sorry.” Each word comes with its own step to tower over her. His hand drops, slowly, and just as gradually in turn a shaky grasp returns the bingo book to it. He says nothing. Maybe this’ll be the last of it? Just another notch into being useless for him and a reason to leave her behind? At least the stress would stop stabbing her.

Not a chance.

“Your name,” he demands.

Oh, that’s a THING that PEOPLE have, DON’T THEY?!

She’s such a fucking idiot.

“I’m-- my name is—” What was it that first guy kept calling her? “—Duckling.”

Kakuzu blinks. “Duckling.” She’s withering on the spot as he kneels down, still tall as he forces eye contact lock in place with his large hand pinching her chin upward. If looks could kill, it’d be a mercy to her.

“...You’re a horrible liar.”

Two secrets uncovered, not a minute between them. They leave her helpless to unravel once he releases her face, like rope tying her upright, and she doubles over to try to get as low to the ground as possible.

“...Yeah. I know.”

Will he hit her? Yell? Oh, please don’t yell at her--

…

He just sighs.

“Word of advice: pick another name if you’re really sticking to this.”

And then he stands up. Is that it? Is that all there is to it?! No way, she knows in her gut, that’s too easy. But then sits down again, on the stump, and goes through his book like has nothing happened.

Maybe it can be too easy, just this once, just for a poor girl.

An hour later, Hidan returns, and she doesn’t notice the blood on his knuckles as he hands her a loaf of bread. The way she can’t hold back would make a stray dog blush. Frankly, it’s halfway to making even him blush. Kakuzu ogles at him like he ogles at her.

“...You didn’t notice she was starving and half dead?”

“No?!” the shorter one retorts. “Is she?!” Kakuzu lets her grunts and moans fill in the gaps. Hidan can only squirm to save face.

“Doesn’t matter. Physical agony fortifies the soul. Whatever.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Okay, one hungry day

Is nothing come what may

But then winter came inside for three nights

Left me grinding my teeth between my walls

And gripping my dreams tight

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A satiated belly doesn’t do the wonders she had hoped for. She’s lagging behind, the occasional arguing filling her head till it becomes nonsense and noise, numbing like static. Is it about her? She doesn’t know anymore. The bones under her skin ache and it’s hard to keep up in all the ways possible. Eyelids shut and a hand presses to her chest. Just one second and she can run to maintain the pace…

It’s quiet, and she should have known better when the words stopped pounding her ears.

They’re gone.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Curled up, kept my head up, and put up the fight

I'll make it through again

I have before

C'mon now, what's one more?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sun begins to set, ending her second day in the forest just as brick peeks from hiding behind brush and vine. Maybe it’s here that they were supposed to end up.

As she steps inside the building, the groan of a rusty door and broken glass on the floor disagrees.

“Ah Jesus...”

The lost girl slinks as low as she feels, uncaring if she ends up cut on the knees. “That guy is going to kill me at this rate, if he even finds me out here.”

But all she has is herself, now, and at least that’s a devil she knows. An exhale escapes her, a breath in to solidify in her chest. “...Okay,” she promises, “Okay. This is better than before. It’s shelter.” With no one else to pick her up, the woman does so for her own body, more tactful than she was coming down about pricking the dusty glass into her skin. “Let’s see what we have to work with,” she attempts to muse to the ghosts of this haunted house.

Only so much daylight left to work with, time to find the safest corner to sleep.

Men may make her jump, so far, but mice don’t manage the same. Tiny gray forms skip back and forth in shade of the decrepit furniture and cracks in the walls. If they can live here, perhaps she may manage, too, at least for one night. The stairs don’t give way underneath, no matter how much they’re prone to complain, and the drafts of air are only friendly as they guide her around the halls.

They even left her a welcome present.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Spring bloomed in the kitchen again

So I crawled out of the wall and squinting

Saw hope on the stovetop

Just like I'd always imagined it

More than I could eat

My dreams were finally reality

My struggles had a happy ending

They must want to be friends

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The zombies watch in perfect, unified silence as she strums the strings of the guitar, thinking herself alone with but the hosts of the abandoned building. Unlike before, the woman’s voice is strong, and for the first time, a smile lights the dark like the sun. She’d stop if she didn’t have their back to them; Kakuzu surmises this. Hidan hums in his ear and leans in.

“Huh. She ain’t that shitty at this.”

He can’t disagree, so he shrugs.

I have mapped the cupboards and drawers,

She sings, lungs properly full and lyrics dripping from the tip of her tongue.

Tracked the least walked spots on the floor

Happy to be home, safe and warm

She practically hugs the guitar, head and hair swinging side to side.

As shadows by their feet

The odd vanishing treat

Quietly eating while they sleep

She’s no maestro, nor bird, but music makes her happy and she can fumble her way through a song. It keeps her distracted; it keeps her honest.

So here's where I'll be raising my kids

If I can find someone to start a family with

'Til then, I'll dream of the day my odds and ends fit

I'll wake up, there'll be food on the stove

Forever and never want for more

“Guess she knows how to talk after all.” What about? No fucking clue. It shouldn’t surprise Hidan that his partner has nothing to say to that, but he takes it personally anyways. “Eh? What?" He turns to see Kakuzu stare at her, moss-green eyes piercing straight through as he thinks.

Hidan squints. “Eh?” he repeats, and then urgency strangles his throat. “Wait. Wait, wait NO, you are NOT--!”

The two approach her at once, her fingers scratching surprise across the guitar as she jolts up in horror. The masked man now looms over her once more. For once, for the first time...he almost sounds pleased.

“We can monetize this.”

“KAKUZU!!!” This is the first time she learns to recognize the true difference between annoyance and alarm from Hidan. It...doesn’t immediately scare her. The care is even...nice? “You can’t be serious!” Kakuzu continues the age old tradition of talking to him while locking onto her, offering a hand to take her from the dirty floorboards.

“What if I am?” Is that...playfulness? Is he capable of teasing?

“Whoring out a fledgling disciple of Jashin for nothing more than cash! YOU! GIRLY! I’m going insane here, you fucking agree with me, right?!”

But all boldness is gone and she holds the guitar neck like a kid does a favorite blanket, refusing to meet his demanding eyes. “That’s...kind of how music performance goes,” she breaks the news. It isn’t pleasant, but that’s how any business is, if you want to put food on the table. “Kakuzu, sir...--” she begins for the other one, mouth in a firm line. I’m no professional, she wants to protest. I’m untrained. But those words will leave her in the dust. A 1% chance at faking till you make it is better than a 100% at freezing all alone in the dark.

“You’ll earn your keep,” he confirms her fate.

I’m scared.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

My stomach starts to turn

With thirst, why does it hurt?

My just dessert is served, dig in

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She twists the knobs of the old guitar as it attempts to tune out the sour from her brain. Guitar and keybo-...piano, she had said. That’s what she’s familiar enough with. Thankfully, things the worlds had in common. Maybe she’s cursed! Cursed to forever be embarrassed. This is more like one of her fantasies, though, to have one obligation but to do what she enjoys so much. But dreams have the assurance of ending well; tonight has no such promise. Her self-assigned manager convinced the barkeep of a test run. “Okay, we don’t usually have music, but we’ll give it a shot, alright? If it turns out fine, we’ll consider having your gal again.”

“You don’t have to. You know that, right?”

Hidan beseeches, though lazily as he slings his arm over the top of an empty chair next to him and keeps a glass in one palm.

“The old fucker’s a bullshit artist. Do this for him and you’ll be his sucker for life.”

Has she earned her place with Hidan yet? Has the right to argue been bought by the virtue of submission?

“...I’ll think of Jashin while I do it,” she compromises, aware she has no clue what that would entail. It’s her time, no more procrastinating. Sink or swim and all. Shoulders roll back and eyes shut on one person so she can become someone else. A charming song from her homeland, she explains to the small crowd turning heads. About someone that committed the dastardly sin of being too small and wanting just enough. The music begins, her voice soft and shaky as she conveys a veneration of shadows in the wall. But as the song calls for bravery, she can only meet the task with sword drawn. Hope to never be seen becomes the reality of being known. And then, she quiets again; being known means being unwanted. But why? But why?!, she begs. That can't be fair...

Flatline in the morning light

I held on so tight

For so long, it's just not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?

Hidan frowns as he attempts to pick through the bizarre lyrics from his seat directly left. He’s never understood this sort of thing; to him, poetry is either scripture or fluffy nonsense. Where’s all the songs about killing people?

Is there cheese in the great beyond?

What's the moon made of?

Meet me there after I'm gone

Her presence is small here, yes, even as the sweet voice crescendos, but it is welcome. Those who don’t listen in the vicinity simply talk like she’s not there. Always was there. Means a lot considering the locals, she’ll be told.

Mind me not, and I'll

Mind my own, and my mind

Held the same light as the one in your eyes

Yes, Kakuzu deals with the keeper in the far corner, across the swarm of patrons: something can be arranged of this-- a warm reception, indeed. The conversation finishes just in time to catch the end of the piece. She’s gone from a meek little thing to choosing to take up her space and perhaps then even more. The arts don’t have much place in the pragmatic lifestyle he needs to lead, but to the end it can make him profit, she’s starting to look the part.

Do I belong in right and wrong?

One dies alone, and why?

Don't know

Goodbye, so long

To mice in homes

Nature, I guess

The guitar sighs gentler and gentler as she puts her fears to bed. The conversations of the folks fill her head, and it’s easier to think a little less, hear that voice more distantly. Tears pinprick the corners of her eyes.

Nature, I guess

The two men give their full attention now, Hidan pondering a story about a fucking mouse while Kakuzu finds her strange. Just...strange, Kakuzu begins to see. Is she talking to them? It’s just a song, right?

Maybe secret number three can slip by in plain sight, she hopes.

Nature, I guess

[smeezy845]

the wee woo from earlier today....