#do not send the s/xy ones or you get a blocking

[jackals-ships]

man. my ocd has been well. Well. lately an also ive seen some friends (slow blinks at you like kitty cat) dealing with "fuck me dude is that ocd" so im putting them 2gether to make a list of "weird shit that either is caused by/exacerbated by it" both bc it's nice Yelling and also it's nice to 🤝 sometimes

under a cut bc. jackals do yap, and also this shit likes to shove it's grubby little hands in Everywhere

iirc it's called body symmetry? if i tap my left leg x amount of times i Have to do x on the right or i feel. Wrong

intrusive thoughts babyyy we all kno about this one. mine range from "have we considered launching the phone/us out of the moving car?" to sexual images

The Doubt Spiral (kind of mixed with the above? intrusive "oh god what if I'm faking x oh god what if I'm not actually y what if what if what IF") (this is partially why i use queer as a label actually. it's nice and Vague)

preemptive defense making. the sheer amount of posts i have Not Made bc i am Convinced someone is going to yell at me. why? because. an even tho im not making the post im STILL. writing a fuckin essay in my brain defending myself (because clearly. if I make someone mad. and they jump to conclusions. it's on Me and NOT. on the one who's jumping. somehow. /heavy sarcasm)

^ to the above writing and rewriting posts/messages/emails again and again to make sure it's Right because what if it's NOT an then everyone gets MAD and-

^^ also being hit with the "I sent them an ask/message/email i have to check real fast to make sure i Didn't. idfk send a bunch of slurs??"

everyone remembers awkward moments from x amt of years ago but gd the full body cringing "I am going to be sick bc I can't stop thinking about the fact i said x" is Something

that post about "this is not the x website this is the ocd website" bc. yeah. obsessive "I have to be Morally Right an have the Right thoughts and if i don't i'm Bad and-" (this esp sucks with the sexual intrusive thoughts. bc clearly. since i had it. i am Now Bad <- not how it works)

^ this also applies to media. i have to be careful about how much i look at x critical tags bc it can quickly get me from "yeah this is a good show/movie/game etc with some flaws" to "well as you can see everyone hates it and therefore YOU. aaaare a bad person <3 and should Perish"

^^ this ALSO. is why I don't use anti/pro/etc ship labels and preemptively have those tags blocked + block ppl who are Loudly Into The Discourse on both sides (quite frankly. the entire discourse could be its own essay. on both "jfc i am on my hands and knees begging some of you to see a brain wizard" and "jfc. y'all make me backslide SO FAST?")

contamination,,this ranges from "I touched the bad thing and now Germs Touched Me" to "my toothbrush was on that shelf while I was cleaning. what if. it got Particles of Cleaning Stuff on it and then I use it and die I need to throw it Away"

rumination. gd the amount. of arguments i have had in the past i Still have to stop myself from chewing on. me to me it's been years you're GOOD they don't CARE anymore you are the only one who remembers !!

ive met more ppl with ocd who have Bad Numbers but i have Good Numbers (3+6+9 are my Friends and i Like Them)

checking things again and again. ranges from "yes the door is locked and the alarm is on. we just did it. we don't need to check" to "the cat is in the washer that is on we need to stop and check we NEED to stop it"

reassurance seeking, there Is a normal threshold but when stuff was. esp bad for me. i was asking my s/o damn near daily if he was SURE he loved me and i definitely wasn't Bad

magical thinking. my god the magical thinking. if i don't do x and y my family will die. because i didn't do xy This person died

health anxiety both in the "well clearly. I am dying" variation and in the "well clearly. I am being a whiny bitch baby idiot" variation

anyways this is Not an exhaustive list and also some of these things could be caused by other shit (pawtism for one) but like. i rlly do think a lot more ppl have ocd or Tendencies than they realize bc "oh everyone does that" <- words said by me So Many Times and if ur struggling it Is good to stare at a doc(/google self help stuff. like exposure to triggers and Soothing Bullshit) (but also medication)(I was unaware that Zoloft was used 2 treat ocd til I went off it rip)

^ also to the above the current estimate is like. 1-2% of the population Has diagnosed OCD and then more have OCPD (OCD personality disorders edition) which doesn't sound like a lot but is. a lot of ppl

[lostnfinding]

hi! i thought id do a little intro to me and my blog

please take a moment to read if you can :)

about me:

im astro/solstice/winter! you can call me sol if you want to. im nonbinary/genderfluid and currently use they/xe/it pronouns (tho im okay with any other neo pronouns, these are the ones i preffer). im pan oriented aroace. im 15, which means im a minor and you should treat me like one. also heres a list of labels i go by

i am extremely s*x averse and anything slightly s*xual makes me very uncomfortable at best. if you make any s*xual comment towards me you will be blocked.

i have ehlers danlos syndrome and pots, and mental illnesses, one of them possibly being DID/OSDD. im the host of a system, and from time to time youll see my headmates around.

i like history, musicals, cinema, music, books and animations. my favourite musical is watt, my favourite series are the owl house and shera, my favourite books are sick kids in love and aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe. my current favourite bands are sleeping at last and waterparks, and my favourite singers are dodie and cavetown.

i have a very song related memory and thinking, i associate things, memories, feelings and people with songs, so if we chatted for a bit ill probably end up associating you with a song. if you wanna know what it is just send me an ask!

im pagan, brazilian, white and im fluent in portuguese (native language) and english (second language)

i have a discord server! join if you want to, id love to have you there! but please be patient if all channels dont automatically show up, i have to verify you in order for that to happen.

my profile picture is a picrew that can be found here! amazing picrew, really recomend it, gave me a lot of gender euphoria. also it has cute animals so thats a plus, and pride flags! i always love pride flags in picrews

(i tend to ramble. a lot. sorry about that.)

dni:

anti blm, anti vax/anti mask, transmed/transcum, terfs, are/support p*dophiles/whatever theyre calling themselves today, lgbtqia+ phobic, anti mogai, anti neopronouns, pro life, exclusionist, climate change denier, prejudist agaisnt any religion, pro ana/ed, anti-anti, xenophobic, over 18 (unless i interact first), make content of/is/says anything on my triggers list (but the christian thing, i dont mind if youre christian just dont talk shit about other religions)

tag system:

posts that are okay to reblog unless stated otherwise in the tags: #astro rambles, #astros covers, #astros art, #theo writes

posts that you have to check the tags before rebloging: #astro rants

posts that are not okay to reblog unless stated otherwise in the tags: #*stress ball gets more stressed*, #astro vents

extra tags: #astro being soft n gay (usually my interactions with my qpp), #cute lil reptiles, #cute lil animals

extra info: i tag triggers "[trigger] tw"; my mutuals get their own tags based on their personality/inside jokes, if you want one, tell me; ask me to tag triggers if i forget to

my triggers:

(general tag is "geckos dni" or "dragon system don't look")

the phrases "you're faking it", "its all in your head", "its just anxiety", "you just have to have faith", "faith heals" and variations; someone being told they dont have an illness they do have; christianity/catholicism (especially saying theyre the "only right religion" or that they are persecuted); parent figts and divorce; money problems; any kind of abuse; nsfw and s#x; mentions of fathers/parents (specially if they are being bad parents); the song "every breath you take" by the police; the movie "the truman show"; conspiracy theories/mandela effect; bone marrow transplants; calling me (astro) a pet name when i dont let you, altho somethings/nicknames are okay; bitmojis; food/ed/weight/calories stuff; breaking promises, loud noises/yelling; being watched; having people we dont know/trust invading our space/privacy; "adults doing bad things"; repetitive pings; passive agressivness; maroon 5 songs from before 2016 (all but she will be loved and payphone); the words papai/papa/pai/variants; glasses with a half frame and strings holding it up; any mentions including jokes about dictatorships, specially taking peoples rights and people going missing; the A.I.5 and similar stuff; the military abusing power; elections being interrupted/blocked; nightmares/fantasy dreams (meeting fairies, flying, etc); being called s*xy or anything of sorts.

side blogs:

@maybeatiger - fandom blog

@theos-writing - writing blog

@our-welkin-world - system blog

@solsgalaxy - thoughts/aesthetic blog

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Chapter Summary:  Adrien and Ladybug skate together. Chloe and Kagami play damage control.

Word Count: 2,809 | Chapter 3/4

XXX

“XY!”  Chloé shoved partygoers aside as she stormed up to the DJ table.

“Huh?”  Her former-favorite musician looked at her like she was crazy.  He was crazy!  ...And he couldn’t hear her through those stupid clunky headphones.

She yanked them off of his ears.

“Hey!  What gives, Cholera?”

“It’s Chloé.  Seriously, we’ve met five times!  How hard is it to remember my name?”  If she had to call Jean Claude by his real name, the least everyone else could do was give her the same respect.

“Chloé, Coleslaw, whatever.  Why are you yelling?”

Chloé pinched the bridge of her nose.  XY was probably just too stupid to remember.  Just like he was too stupid to follow basic instructions.

“You posted a picture to Instagram!”  

“Yeah?”  XY grinned and dug his pinkie in his ear.  Ugh.  His ears had to be clogged if he could stand being so close to the blasting music.  “Pretty cute, huh?  Lu’s a really good skater.”

It had been a pretty cute photo of Luka lifting XY above his head, while XY spread his arms wide like an airplane.  Frankly, it was shocking that Luka’s skinny noodle arms could lift his boyfriend.  But none of that was the point.

“No one is supposed to post photos until after the party.”  It shouldn’t have even been possible.  XY’s phone must have been some fancy model that could get past Max’s data block.  “You’re going to bring Adrien’s bodyguard right to us!”

“Pshaw, it’s no big deal.  They’ll be too busy looking at me to even notice he’s here.”

Chloé smacked her forehead.  She did not get paid enough for this.

“Is something wrong?”  Luka asked, approaching Chloé and XY with two slices of passionfruit cake.

“Yes, there is!  Your utterly ridiculous boyfriend is going to get Adrien’s party busted!”

Luka sighed at XY.  “Baby, we talked about this.”

XY’s bottom lip jutted out.  “But… it was just one teeny-tiny little picture…”

“Just listen to Chloé and take it down.  You can post it again when the party’s over.”

Finally, someone was taking her seriously!

“Awwww, fine.”  XY pulled out his phone and deleted the post.  “Happy now, Clooney?”

She huffed, but turned her back before she could say anything she’d regret.

“Excellent work, Chloé.”  

She jumped.  Kagami was standing right there.   How did she always show up like some kind of ninja?

“We will still need to engage our failsafes.”  Kagami began typing on her phone.  Chloé stood on her tip-toes, looking over her shoulder.  She was posting… some selfies with Adrien in a blue wig?  

“Hey, I thought no one was supposed to post pictures.” Chloé frowned.

“These will lead Nathalie and Adrien’s bodyguard off our trail.  I’ll adjust the lighting to make them appear as if they were taken just now.”  She added filters, and the background grew dark.  “Now they will believe Adrien is at the juice shop with me.”

“Not bad.”  Chloé smirked.  “You know, for someone who never lies, you’re awfully good at fooling people.”

“Only when necessary.  Adrien’s happiness tonight is my number one priority.”

Kagami’s gaze shifted down to the rink, where Adrien and Ladybug were skating hand-in-hand.

“You’ve done a good job,” Chloé said quietly, leaning against the railing.  Over her shoulder she watched Adrien and Ladybug weave figure eights.  Even over XY’s blaring music, she could hear their laughter.  Two years ago that would have made her jealous.  

But it was good to see her oldest friend and her biggest hero make each other happy, even if it was only for one night.

“Come on.”  Kagami smiled at her.  “No more slacking.  Time to learn how to skate.”

Chloé faked annoyance.  “Oh, alright.  If you insist.”

XXX

Adrien glided like he was in a dream.  The soft pressure of Ladybug’s hand in his was the only thing anchoring him to the ground, and even that felt too good to be real.

But she was real.  She was here.  She cared about Adrien enough to come to his birthday party.

“You didn’t hit your head too hard, did you?”  Ladybug giggled.

Oh.  He must have been staring at her stupidly again.  That was how he’d tripped over Marc and crashed the first time.

“I’m fine.  It helps that the ground is a built-in ice pack.”

She laughed again.  She never laughed at Chat Noir’s jokes this much.  Maybe she was just trying not to hurt his feelings on his birthday, but he’d take it.

“Look at that.”  She bumped his shoulder with hers.  “Looks like Queen Bee could use an ice power-up.”

He laughed as he saw Chloé wobble onto the rink, Kagami steadying her with both hands.  He was glad they were both getting along, or at least trying to.  Having so many of his friends in one place was the best birthday gift of all.

“I bet she’d love that.”  He wished he could use his ice powers too.  It would make it easier to avoid slipping and embarrassing himself again.

Not that she’d laughed at him, really.  That would be weird to get used to—not that he should get used to it.  As soon as he was suited up again, they’d be back to bantering and making fun of each other like normal.  

But for now, he savored the feeling of her eyes on his, of the way her brow softened beneath her mask every time he smiled.

(He was smiling a lot.)

“Hey, Adrien!  You gonna kiss her yet?”  

Adrien’s face caught fire at Kim’s shout.  Kim didn’t just say that.  

Please tell me he didn’t just say that.

His eyes darted to Ladybug’s.  She’d dropped his hand, and her mouth was stammering wordlessly.  

He couldn’t blame her.  His brain wouldn’t send a coherent thought to his mouth, either.

Kim turned around and started skating backwards.  “I’ve got a bet with Alix.  She thinks you don’t have the guts, but I believe in you.  Don’t let me down, man!”

He promptly crashed into Nino and Alya, and all three of them wiped out.  Normally, Adrien would’ve rushed to help his friends up.  But right now, he wanted nothing more to melt through the ice.

“Please just—ignore him,” he said quickly, falling back and clinging to the handrail.  “I don’t know where he got the idea that—I mean, not that I wouldn’t—er—I’m going to shut up now.”

She laughed hysterically, eyes darting back and forth.  Was she already looking for a way to escape?  

Gah, and everything had been going so well too!  He could almost believe that Ladybug… that she… what, liked him?  Just because she was nice to him and laughed at his jokes and held his hand…

“You know,” she said quietly, “I wouldn’t, um, mind if you…”

His heart sped up.  It could’ve done backflips in the pauses between her words.

“If I…?” He asked, trying not to sound too eager.  She could’ve been about to say anything, after all.  

Like maybe she wouldn’t mind if he left her alone forever.  Maybe she wouldn’t mind if he faceplanted on the ice like Kim did.  Maybe she wouldn’t mind if he locked himself in a tower, never to see the light of day until a fearless ogre came to save him.

She leaned in closer.  Her eyes sparkled as bright as the frosty tips of her tiara.

“If you… got me a slice of cake!”

He blinked, pulling back.  “O-of course!  Um, did you want me to bring it back here, or…?”

“Uh, yeah, sure!” She said.  “Er, on second thought, there’s no tables on the rink, haha, and I’ll probably trip even with my powers if I try to eat down here…”

“There’s tables closer to the entrance,” he suggested, still startled by Ladybug’s sudden shift.  The smile on her face looked strained.

“S-sounds great!”

Unfortunately, getting out of the rink meant skating past Kim again.  He’d finally made it to his feet with Nino and Alya’s help.  Alix sped past, blowing a raspberry at him.

“Just don’t make eye contact and we might be fine,” he said under his breath.

...Or not.

“Yo, Ladybug!  How’s my little monkey dude doing?”

Ladybug groaned.  “That’s my luck.”

“I thought Chat Noir was supposed to be the one with bad luck?” Adrien joked right before Kim got close enough to sling an arm around Ladybug’s shoulder.

“Hey, King Monkey.” She grimaced.  “Xuppu’s doing fine.  But, um, Adrien and I were just about to get some cake, so…”

“Aww, come on!  I bet my boy Adrien tastes better than some kind of fruitcake.  Who even thought of putting fruit and cake together?  Gross.”  Kim stuck out his tongue.

Plagg was shaking with laughter inside of Adrien’s borrowed hoodie.  Couldn’t the kwami Just Cataclysm him and put him out of his misery?

“It’s passionfruit cake,” he corrected on principle.  “And Marinette made it, so it’s going to be amazing.”

For some reason, Ladybug’s face only got more red at that.  “Right, amazing!  Definitely better than kissing Adrien, ha!  Ha ha ha…”

Ouch.  Now that hurt worse than a Cataclysm.

Kim winced in sympathy before patting Adrien’s shoulder.  “Sorry, buddy.  I tried.”

“Please stop trying,” he whined.

He and Ladybug finally escaped Kim.  Adrien glanced over his shoulder, and saw Nino flashing him a comforting grin.  Alya had dropped her head in her hands.

Me too, Alya.  Me too.

XXX

“Lesson’s over,” Chloé said while pulling her phone from her pocket.  She didn’t slip, even without holding onto the handrail.  Despite her attitude, she was implementing Kagami’s lessons well.

“The student doesn’t decide the length of the lesson.”  She crossed her arms.  

“She does when she has bad news.”  Chloé scowled.  “Max just texted.  That tracker you and Nino put on the Gorilla's car?  It’s going off.”

She held up her screen, which showed a map of the streets near their location.  A red skull icon flashed towards the ice rink.  Not good.  Adrien hadn’t even gotten the chance to eat his cake yet.

“We’ll have to deploy the contingency plan.”

“I thought you already—”

“The other contingency plan.”

Kagami grabbed Chloé’s hand and skated towards the exit.  

It was time to find Wayhem.

XXX

Marinette’s  pulse pounded in her ears.  Adrien was still holding her hand, even after Kim had come along and… well, been Kim.  But she could take it.  She was cool.  She was confident.  She knew Adrien had a crush on her!

And yet she was still too much of a coward to kiss him.

What if Nino and Kagami were wrong?  Granted, Nino knew Adrien better than anyone, and Kagami had probably never been wrong in her life.  

But still.

“I hope you like passionfruit.”  Adrien rubbed the back of his neck before cutting her a slice of the three-tiered cake.  It had taken her two days to fine-tune the recipe, not including the full afternoon she’d spent adding details with icing.  It was a pale shade of pinky-orange, dotted around the edges with rosettes of spring green.  Just like his eyes.

“Don’t worry, I love it!” she said.  It was a bit of an exaggeration, but she had gained a taste for it after eating one passionfruit macaron a week for the past two years.  “You’re lucky Chat Noir isn’t here.  He’d finish off this whole cake as soon as your back was turned.”

Adrien laughed.  “He’s got good taste, then.”

It was too bad Marinette didn’t know Chat Noir’s birthday.  Passionfruit was his favorite favor, too; she could reuse the recipe.  

They took their cake and some plastic forks and settled down at a table.  She sat across from him, but the table was small enough for her knees to bump his underneath.  She’d dismissed her ice transformation, so she didn’t have to worry about stabbing his feet with her blades.

“Wow,” Adrien said through his first bite.  “I knew this cake was going to be good, but this is—I’ve never tasted anything like it!”

“Really?”  She grinned.  If he was saying that to Ladybug, then he wasn’t just saying it to be nice.  He really liked her cake!

“Really.  I shouldn’t be so surprised, though.  Marinette’s amazing at everything.  She’s designed album covers for Jagged Stone, and won the student Ultimate Mecha Strike Tournament, and even impressed my father.”  He sighed wistfully.  “It’s too bad she couldn’t make it.  I really wanted to thank her.”

Her heart fluttered like a butterfly on steroids.

“I—I’m sure she wanted to be here too,” she said.  Should she find a way to sneak off and detransform?  Would Adrien have been happier if she’d come as herself?  “And I’m sure, if she were here… she’d want to thank you.  For being such a good friend.”

He stared at her with soft eyes.  A bit of icing still clung to his bottom lip.  She tore her gaze away.

You heard what he told Kim.  He doesn’t want to kiss you!

Wait.  That was what she told Kim.  After she’d panicked and blabbered something stupid by reflex.  Why had she said that?  She did want to kiss Adrien!  Now he was going to think that she hated him and probably hate the birthday present she’d brought and— 

“Ladybug?”  Adrien’s voice finally snapped her out of her spiral.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Huh?  Why wouldn’t I be?”  She grinned too wide.

He glanced down at her plate.  Her fork was stabbed into the thin styrofoam.  That wasn’t the only thing she’d stabbed, apparently.

“You, um.  Spaced out and carved a broken heart into your cake.  Unless it’s supposed to be an upside-down spade…?”

She hurriedly shoved forkfuls of cake into her mouth.  Ugh, she was a mess without Alya here to help her keep cool.  How would Alya feel about getting her miraculous back for the sole purpose of wingmanning?  

It probably wouldn’t work.  There wasn’t an illusion strong enough to cover up Marinette’s spazzing.

She swallowed her cake.  “I’m sorry, Adrien.  I just got distracted for a second.  What were you saying?”

“I was just talking about Marinette… you two are friends, right?”

“Friends?  What—what makes you say that?”  She blinked.

“She helped you fight the Evillustrator and Kwamibuster.  I guess I just assumed, but—”

“Wait.”  Marinette dropped the fork back to her plate.  For once, her mind whirled for a reason other than proximity to Adrien.  “You—how do you know Marinette helped with Kwamibuster?” 

Had Chat Noir gone around blabbing about Multimouse to everyone?  No, there’d never been a trace of her on the Ladyblog.  And Chat wouldn’t reveal heroes’ identities like that, even if she’d already told him that “Multimouse” couldn’t hold a miraculous again.

“Um… because, she… told me?”  Adrien shrugged.  A tentative smile graced his lips.

Her brow creased.  “No, she didn’t.”

This didn’t make any sense.  How did Adrien really know, and why would he lie about it?  

Unless—?

Before she could follow that train of thought, Chloé’s hands slammed down on their table.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you two need to go.  We’ve got company.”

“What?”  Marinette blinked.  “Is there an akuma?  I’ll—”

She shook her head.  “Worse.  Kagami’s backups failed.  Nathalie’s here.”

“What?”  Adrien stood, nearly kicking Marinette’s shin in his haste to get up.  “I have to stop her before she tries to have Nino arrested again!”

Marinette grimaced.  Yeah, Adrien’s sixteenth birthday party hadn’t exactly worked out.  But she wasn’t about to let this one get ruined, too.

“No way, Adrikins.” Chloé blocked his path.  “Kagami’s handling her.  She told me to make sure you get out before you’re grounded for life.”

“But—!”

“Ladybug, I know you’re smart.”  Chloé turned to her before he could protest.  “Take him out the window before he pulls one of his little self-sacrificing stunts again.”

Self-sacrificing.  That would be like Adrien.

(It would also be like a certain partner of hers, who also liked passionfruit, knew about Multimouse, and had a crush on Ladybug.) 

“I can’t just leave you—!”

Marinette stood and wrapped an arm tightly around his waist.  He cut off, blushing at their proximity.

“You heard Queen Bee.”  She winked at Chloé, who smiled.  “Let’s trust your friends.  And trust me, too.  I’ve got a surprise for you.”

He looked down into her eyes, then hesitated as if about to ask something.

“Whatever, just take your surprise out there!”  Chloé pushed them away from the tables.

“Right.  Hold onto me,” Marinette told Adrien before grabbing her yo-yo.

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” he mumbled into her hair, his arms firm around her shoulders.

This is fine, she told herself while trying not to melt into an ecstatic puddle.  Then she cast out her yo-yo and swung through the distant window.

She and Adrien had a lot to talk about.

[jfastereft]

"WITH WHOM?!"* a poem  a.k.a.: "She Has "Ruined' Me!"  :)  - Jan. 16, 2019 (Wed)     Dedicated: To all The People sending me [Sensual] Site invitations that I can never just ask to go away, so I just keep clicking them off, about, 1000 e-mail [dating] mailings a day and count myself lucky that I do not have 2000 invitations!

{Does ANYBODY in “The World of Tumblr” think that this is kinda ridiculous: My changing words, here and there, altering potential suggestive words and/or ideas, ever so slightly, so I do not get BLOCKED again, by Tumblr censors because I have violated so-called “Community Standards?”  Isn’t there SOMEONE “out there” that realizes how STUPID the censorial procedures for Facebook and Tumblr and other social medias have become, when you have to pussy-foot (is it, perhaps, “wrong” to use the word “pussy” because it might be considered another violation of the Politically (in)Correct idiocy that is now manifesting on The Internet that USED TO BE considered a place where you could just PUT STUFF, without having to EVERY SINGLE DAY and with every single post - wonder whether you were gonna get reprimanded because of someone’s oversensitive attitude about “this or that!?”) around here like I’m doing?!  Where does it end, you guys and gals, who seem to be so smug, sitting in your proverbial Ivory Towers, spending time (&, I guess, getting PAID for it!!), determining what YOU think is appropriate or not, based on, really, no standards at all - just your particular feelings at that time and on that day - about what YOU think should be shown or not.  Anyway!  Does ANYONE out there think this is at least a little bit RIDICULOUS?  What about you folks sitting there, blocking and deleting?  Do you ever consider that MAYBE you do not know what the heck you are doing?  Do you ever think about that?  Mmmm?  DON’T think about it!  Are you going to “block” me for my venting here, when your “appeal” procedures themselves are done without any input from me, and there seems to be NO real reasons given when I appeal yet another post for violation of “community standards,” when, after reviewing it myself, I am sure there is nothing there that’s more “revealing” than the paintings that you allow on Tumblr because they were done by some French Impressionist painter who has been dead for about 200 years.  IF you are even reading this, you don’t care, do you?  because you have NO phone numbers people can call you at - you are totally isolated!  Yeah!  “ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY!”   (“Bill?  Could you please grab me another coke and bag of chips from the vending machine?  I need some energy, so I can read another one of these sinister posts and determine if I think it’s a little bit too ‘raunchy’ for public consumption!  God, I love my job!  Bill?  O. M. G.!  SOMEONE GET AN AMBULANCE!  Bill is “down,” I think after having read another of those THINGS from The Mystic Poet!  Bill!  Oh, God, Bill!  I love you, Bill!  I WILL marry you!  I WOULD HAVE had s-x with you that last time, but I couldn’t find the key for my chastity belt!  Bill!  Oh, no, GOD!  Dear Lord: Please!  Don’t let Bill die!  What will I do?  Who can I turn to?  Wait!  I am getting a spiritual directive!  What is that, Lord?  What?  You want me to - what? - read, each word and line - of The Mystic Poet’s last ten postings?  Oh, Lord!  Please!  Don’t ask me to do THAT!  Please, Lord!  Bill?  Bill!  You have arisen - from The Dead!  Bill, I love you!  Hey, wait!  Bill!?  What is that t-shirt you have on?  “MYSTIC POET FAN CLUB”  Bill!  Why?  Bill!  (pause) Bill, I will NEVER date you again!  Traitor! (pause)   Oh, Sam?!  Hi, Sam; I really like you, Sam!  Did I ever tell you?  I dream of you at night, Sam!  I do!  Yeah, you agree?  That MYSTIC POET site!  Yeah!  Obscene!  Yup!  Offensive?  Yup!  I LIKE YOU, SAM; you are MY kinda people!  What are you doing Saturday night, Sam?!  I’m free!  but I’M NOT EASY!)   Q.E.D.}

     from a fictitious series of poems entitled: "There can be ONLY ONE!" 

Well-now, YES!  

Here's-the-Bottom-Line:

The "site" you sent-me's GREAT, 

And-I-can say, with-absolute-candor,        (that)-I-DO - appreciate,

All those s-xy bodies (especially)-of-pretty-mo-ning-girls!

I love them sh-rn, even partially, or with their public kurls,

But, HONEY!  y-know, with porn - I-(gotta)-work-hard to-achieve,

Any (political?) election, even partially, so I-REALLY DO BELIEVE,

That SO MUCH WORK? It IS a WASTE,

(For) When-I'm-with-YOU, I am so "graced,"

For - YOU'RE MY ONE AND ONLY, with-your oo-oo's - and-oose - and-smile,

And I pop-eth to attention! Yes-I-do!  Oh, my!   "Sieg Heil!"

(So)- I'D RATHER SPEND MY TIME, (pause) LU-XURIATING-WITH-YOU,

Than-with-A-1000 [date]-night-girls - and this much, Hon, is true:

That you're so super s-xy, and, when you come-(in)to view,

I have it ALL -  all that I need - you are so "coochy-coo,"**

Election-is so natural (so)-with-you I'll-cuddle-and-"kith!"

For-it-does-   TRULY   -matter, 

Who-you-do-it-with!                    :) - I am ruined; no one else is you!

  fin  <3 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNQ_A9bJBt4

 * - in bed

** - or CUDDLY POO!! :)

[party-necrozma]

BOOM~! CRASH~! The lightning outside rumbles the entire haunted house. Someone stumbles and looks outside the window. “The rain is really coming down. Looks like no one can leave.”

The party-goers trade looks. Some play it off like it was a little rain. Others were more concerned. The storm outside had grown more dangerous since everyone began showing up -- its like Casper knew this storm was coming, and knew everyone was going to be stuck there that night.

“Well, there’s no use in just standing here. Let’s get this part--” A horrified shriek echos through the house. Everyone freezes and looks at each other. A servant runs into the main hall where everyone’s gathered screaming their head off with blood on their hands. “S-Someone mu-murd-murdered Ca-Asper!”

News about the host’s murder changed the night. What was suppose to be a night of fun and games turned into a night of mystery. A murder mystery.

                                        { — Viale Royal’s Murder Mystery Event — } 

How it works!

Happy Halloween everyone! The Ultra Mods has mysteriously turned the Old Chateau in Sinnoh’s Eterna Forest into a Haunted House and everyone is invited to their Halloween Party! Party-goers are allowed to wear costumes, but it’s not required. The Ultra Mods just wants everyone to have fun!

A few things to remember for this event!

Signups for the event begins today, Monday October 15th and ends Friday October 19th.

The event will last for two weeks, starting Monday October 22nd and ending Friday November 2nd. Take all the time you need to complete threads, Just because the event ended doesn’t mean your threads need to.

Clues about the murder will be distributed to every character throughout the event, including the murder. Everyone will be given a set amount of clues at the start of the event.

You’re allowed to work together, in threads, to find the murder quicker.

The Ultra Mods (Casper, Deerys, Jims, and Ferro) are the NPC hosts for the party and can be mentioned in your threads. Please note that Casper is the victim.

The Old Chateau has a barrier that blocks most abilities / powers. Characters who can see and talk to the dead will not be able to do this. Characters who can see the future or past cannot see the future or past. Characters who can communicate via telepathy can still communicate via telepathy.

The Prizes!

There will be 4 winners, plus 1 Grand Prize Winner. In order to win one of the following prizes, you need to send in who you think the murder is. Winners will be announced on Monday November 5th.

The Grand Prize: One (1) extra large shiny Pumpkaboo with Pokerus nicknamed Karma for your XY, ORAS, SuMo, or USUM game. The prize will be distributed by Jims.

1st Place Prize: One (1) shiny Ghost-, Psychic-, or Fairy-type Pokemon for your character’s team.

2nd & 3rd Place Prizes: One (1) non-shiny Ghost-, Psychic-, or Fairy-type Pokemon for your character’s team.

4th Place Prize: One (1) Pokemon of the Mods’ choice for your character’s Pokemon team.

                                                  { — Wednesday, October 31st — } 

Since this event happens during the special day of Halloween, you’re allowed to have your characters go Trick-or-Treating.

Send asks with ”Trick-or-Treat” to get a candy!

If you get an ask with “Trick-or-Treat”, please give that person a candy.

[kyberled]

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

Salt Meme

As a matter of fact, I have, though thankfully it wasn’t in this fandom, but one I only recently trundled back to, and one from way back that I don’t think I’m ever going to be going back to for a number of reasons.

Oddly enough, this person from the very old fandom wasn’t even a part of the fandom I was in. It was a crossover type thing, and the first crossover I’d ever written. But there was a lot of vagueblogging on her part whenever I did anything they didn’t like. And by that, I mean the dash was flooded with posts saying that ‘this person’ didn’t ship things like they thought they did, TAGGED WITH OUR CHARACTERS, and going on to complain ON THE DASH to her mutuals that ‘some person’ (still tagged with our ship) was making their anxiety and depression worse. My crime? I didn’t have my muse kiss theirs within thirty in-reply minutes (tops; probably less) of them first meeting. I ended up fanmailing them saying it wasn’t that I didn’t ship them, it’s just that I wanted to take it slow, and after that they went back to acting like we were best friends while spamming my inbox with messages about their wedding.

I wish I was joking.

It’s also worth noting that I was a teenager, and the other person was, according to their rules page, in their twenties. This only happened one or two more times before I blocked them, but the more I thought about about it, the more I kind of wished I got out sooner, but at the same time, I’m just glad I got out at all.

The other person was in a bigger fandom, and they were writing with some other people I know and consider friends. They introduced themselves by messaging me right after they followed, saying, ‘Hi, I’m [person I’m still good friends with]’s friend! [They] recommended your blog to me, so I thought I’d say hi! My name’s [name]!” … Or something along that vein. Introduced themselves, added that they’d heard about me from a mutual friend, and that was the last normal conversation I had with them, outside of a few attempts at plotting. 

This person would come into my IMs at odd hours and just complain to me. I didn’t even really know this person’s name, and they would just dump their life problems in the IMs. Like how their best friend was stressed in college, so they were not gonna contact her by their own choice, but now they were sad and missed her and anxious and yeah, I get that that sucks, but I was a complete stranger? And they’d go on and on and I could hardly get a word in edgewise. Whenever I did manage to say anything and try to comfort them or offer advice, they’d shut me down, give lists of reasons why my suggestions wouldn’t work, and go back to complaining at me. This happened literally all of the time, it was all they’d talk to me about. They also really liked hounding me about being agender, too? I’ll give an example of this in a bit.

I feel like I should clarify, here, that I enjoy helping my friends with their problems. I like being a shoulder to cry on. But the emphasis is on ‘my friends’. People I am comfortable with. I would also appreciate some warning? Even just a ‘hey, can I vent to you for a sec?’ at least lets me get in the right mindset to be able to deal with this sort of thing. I got no warning from this person. It’s also nice to talk about something else from time to time? But, no, it was just a constant stream of negativity from them. I’m being completely serious when I say I couldn’t make a single post on either of my blogs without them messaging me. It was actually kind of terrifying, to say the least. Had to start developing a routine based on when they were usually offline to avoid being harassed. 

It didn’t take me too long to consider blocking them, because of the outpouring of negativity, but also because they kept dropping threads without telling me, then talking about how I was ignoring them, to me, and THEN requesting starters and completely ignoring ALL THREE OF THE STARTERS i’D JUST WRITTEN THEM, and THEN saying they were too lazy or kept forgetting to look the starters up? But I was the one who was ignoring them. The day I was first about to block them, they message me about how their friends are all blocking them. I briefly wonder if they’re a telepath. They say, after a very long rant, something along the lines of ‘but at least I have you, Jay. You’d never do that, you’re my best friend. I’m lucky to have you’. And on the one hand, I’m thinking, you know, what the hell, since when were we best friends? And I know that sounds mean, but I’d barely spoken to them, both because they never listened and because I was super uncomfortable talking to them; we barely interacted IC because they kept dropping threads and outright ignoring things I’d write for them; I never made an effort to contact them since the conversation was always focused solely on how bad their life was; We’d only been in contact for a month or two, tops, and it took about a year for Rodi and I (or my irl highschool best friend, Hannah, and I) to get to True BFF Level; Never once did they show any concern for me, or really anyone aside from themselves; Honestly, I’m kind of surprised they even knew my name. But I’m their best friend, apparently, and now of course I feel super guilty, because I was about to block them, and now I was the bad guy.

Oh, and to add on to all this, they forced headcanons on my muse. Once again, I feel like I need to clarify: I love people bouncing headcanons off me. If you think Braig would like XY thing, tell me; If you have an idea of a scenario for our muses together, send me it, I’d love to hear it. I’ll even reblog that ‘tell me your headcanons for my muse’ meme. I love it.

What this person did was different. This person, without asking, conferring with me, or even giving me any warning, they decided my muse was a child abuser. I don’t think I need to elaborate on why that was a bad thing. This went against my headcanons, contradicted canon at some points, and made no sense to me, but apparently my muse was now a child abuser. Eugh.

Oh, and before I give a brief run-down on what finally prompted me to block this person, I feel it’s worth mentioning that when we’d first started talking, I’d just turned eighteen, and they were twenty-one. 

Anyway, so the straw that finally sucker-punched the camel in the jaw was when they messaged me after A Day. I was tired, hungry, had been in class all morning and in line at the campus book store for half an hour, and my arms were loaded down with textbooks. I was sort of struggling through tumblr for something to do, but typing was pretty hard. This person swings into my IMs and starts a suspiciously normal conversation - Actually asks me about school, what my major is, etc etc. I’m giving one-word replies for the most part, both because I’m not in the most social mood (and I’m not comfortable with this person to begin with), and because I don’t have the hands free to type long sentences anyway. But I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, this person has turned over a new leaf. Maybe I was right for giving them so many chances. And then, in the middle of the conversation, zero warning, they say:

“Are you out to your family, yet?”

And I’m just stunned. I had no idea how to respond. After a minute or more of me just staring, not answering, they add, ‘can I ask that?’, and I had no idea what to say in return aside from something like ‘no, I’m not, and I don’t know if I ever will be’, hoping to end the conversation. This person then starts complaining at me for not being out, because they wanted help with getting their family to remember their pronouns. I offered some suggestions anyways, those were all ignored, and out came more rants about how terrible their life was. 

I blocked them not long after, after speaking to two close friends who agreed that I probably should’ve done so earlier.

So, yeah, those are the two instances that come to mind. I’m a bit more careful with who I chill with, now, and I’ve learned to be pretty blunt when shutting this stuff down, so it hasn’t happened since. \o/

[twistedstorm]

13, 33, 34, 35, 40, 44, 46, 47 and 50 for the writer ask meme

Whoever you anon(s) are who keep sending me in these questions from my ask memes I love you so much! Here we go!

13) What’s your favorite writing quote? I don’t actually know…but the best thing I’ve ever read about writing is something like “Don’t be afraid to write what you want even if it’s been written by someone else before because while it may have been written it’s never been written by you” and I love that because it’s true, nobody writes exactly like anyone else so no matter what you write it will always be unique to you regardless if the same idea has been done before. 

33) Are you interested in having your work published? Maybe someday? I think I’d like to have something I write whether a poem or a short story or a novel or whatever published one day because I’m pretty proud of a lot of my writing and I’d like to know what people think and I’d love for people to connect with my words or my characters and I love to hear about their interpretations and stuff like that because I love it when people feel something, anything after reading what I’ve wrote. Right now the list of people to have read my work is limited to some teachers (one really awesome one who encouraged me to keep writing no matter what who is a huge reason why I still write), my mom, and some of my friends and as much as I love hearing their reactions I think I’d like a bigger pool of people someday.

34) Describe your writing space. I write in my room, on my bed with usually my fan going to provide white noise. I used to play music or a movie or something but I end up pausing it whenever I’m actually putting words down because it distracts me so the fan is better. If I’m writing by hand then I’m surrounded by notebooks (because I write different things in each one so I don’t have to be flipping through the notebook I’m actually writing in to try and find that one date or one character detail I need for this one scene because that’s hella annoying) and pencils and stuff and if I’m writing on my computer I’ve got google docs open to save whatever I’m writing in a separate place (copy and paste are my best friends I swear) because I’m paranoid about my computer freezing or something and me losing everything I’ve written because it’s happened before and it’s the worst (I still have a million notebooks open around me but less pencils) and sometimes I write with headphones in just to block out the noise from everywhere else because I’m very easily distracted and random noise genuinely pisses me off if I’m writing. Oh and I always have chocolate and at least one full water bottle because they are both very important to my writing process of course. 

35) What’s your favorite time of day for writing? Honestly I don’t think I have one…I do most of my writing really late at night though since that’s usually when I have the most energy because my brain’s a dick but otherwise it’s pretty much a whenever I feel like it sorta thing. When I was still in school it was usually first thing in the morning or right after lunch in the afternoon though…I have no idea why those times but I did a lot of writing then. 

40) Which is your favorite original character, and why? Okay this is really hard because I love all my ocs for different reasons, even ocs I made up as a kid are still important to me. So I could pick the very first character I ever made I guess. His name is Darius and he’s a white haired red eyed vampire with an accent I dreamed up (literally by the way, he showed up in a bunch of recurring dreams I had as a kid) when I was like 8 and I still use him in stuff today (and yes he sounds just like Soul from Soul Eater and I’m pretty sure that’s why I like Soul so much) and I honest to god talk to Darius when I need someone to be my voice of reason, I just picture him and he gives me advice and reminds me to breathe (yes I talk to my ocs as if they were real people in the real world, I have conversations with them really often actually. I know they’re not real and it’s just me talking to myself but it helps me a lot) . Or I could pick my current favorite characters to write at the moment which are two characters in my new story named Sil and Holt. One is a sarcastic phantom with emo hair who makes jokes like “Oh no we’re all gonna die!!! Oh wait…I’m already dead…never mind guys I’ll be fine, you guys on the other hand…not so much…” and I love him so much and the other is a half nymph half siren and he’s literally just me but cooler and with white hair and cool powers who get’s flustered easily and likes sea shanties. I love them both for the weirdness that is their personalities and how fun it is to write dialogue for them 

44) What’s the weirdest character concept you’ve ever come up with? The time I made Alice in Alice in Wonderland an evil zombie (species called a Queen) who could raise the dead and infect others with her own special mutation of the zombie virus and then wrote out a detailed explanation of how Queens were created when the zombie virus interacted with a recessive mutation only active in xx chromosomes but was carried by people with xy chromosomes and could be passed on to their children and activated if the mother was a carrier as well and the disease was incapable of effecting xy chromosomes at all, and when the disease/defect interacted with the zombie virus it creates a species of zombie capable of in-depth thought and calculation who was equipped with a new version of the virus that is specifically hers so every Queen had her own specific virus unique to her that allowed her to turn and control other people and also raise the dead maybe. I wrote out the entire backstory of how the disease was discovered and the entire list of symptoms it presented with and how it progressed over time and then I named it after my cousins because I decided that the disease was first studied by experimenting on and observing two little girls in an asylum who were there for killing someone as small children because the disease drove them crazy. So basically I turned Alice evil and crazy and spent months creating and writing about a disease to explain why she was so fucking crazy and murderous even though she wasn’t even my main character…yeah that was pretty weird. Not the only weird one though…my mind is a strange place.

46) Describe your perfect writing space. Comfy office-like space with a desk for my laptop or my notebook or whatever with a comfy swivel chair and footrest but also a big bean bag chair and big pillows and a daybed type thing so I can move around and write wherever. There would be a big window with a window bench seat thing so I could let light in or open it to feel a breeze but it’s never loud outside so there’s no stupid noises to distract me. Magically I have speech to text that works perfectly so I can pace and stuff and just speak my story out loud when I need a break from typing. Covering one wall is just a total story line of my story in pages and sticky notes and pictures all connected with different colors of string that mean different things so I can keep track of everything without a million notebooks. There’s a cabinet for my millions of notebooks that I’ll have anyway because it’s me and I love notebooks. I have just a huge pencil case with like those pull out parts like in a makeup case and it’s just full of pencils and pens and sticky notes and highlighters and stickers so I don’t have to always search for them when I need them. There’s a mini fridge for my water bottles and snacks and I have a fan that makes the perfect amount of noise and surround sound speakers with voice control so that if I decide I want music I can have it right away and the entire room is sound proof so I don;t have to hear anything from outside the room and there’s a light up sign on my door that I can turn on with a remote or a switch or whatever that says “Writer at Work” so that people know not to come in and disturb me. The room is painted blue because I like it the best and there’s a big soft rug in the middle of the room because I like fuzzy things and there’s also a fuzzy blanket for if I get cold.     

47) If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why? I dunno…I don’t think I’d take anyone really…actually scratch that, there’s a lot I would probably take because I’d want to give them a better life or a cooler story or a better relationship or a better family and friends, but I won’t pick a specific one.

50) If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be? Dark Hunter novels by Sherrilyn Kenyon, I’d love to meet my favorite characters and have cool magic powers and give my precious tortured babies (*cough cough* Ash and Nick *cough cough* and everyone else *cough cough*) a cookie and a hug…and high-five Simi. Or alternatively any universe where I could have shape-shifting powers (so maybe X-Men?) or my own created universe where I’m still me but with shape-shifting powers and magic and way cooler clothes and stuff but like my friends and family are still there because I’d miss them a lot if I was in some other universe. (Also acceptable is Batman/ Justice League universe provided I’m a hero with powers) 

Thank you kind anon for sending this in, I love you and have a fantabulous day! Feel free to send in more (that goes for everyone)!

~ZZ

I’m gonna go write something…