#ditto for everything else. im not speaking about real life people who might have these traits. im doing a media analysis

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Everything that used to trigger me via /r/selfimprovement

Everything that used to trigger me

gap year clean up operation

by topic 1) family 2) internet 3) habits 4) education 5) music 6) relationships 7) sex 8) ambitions 9a) people being triggered by me 9b) people liking me (both + takeaways) 10) exam failure from 'narcissism' 11) my happiness 12) happiness in relationships 13) self sabotage/not reaching full potential 14) peak culture 15) mania/bipolar 16) attitudes against mainstream/dissatisfaction 17) trolling 18) lack of pride in myself or friends 19) being an alpha male 😈 20) dysfunctional behaviour 21) fake false flags to reinforce a victim mentality

1) family trigger points . My mum plays jazz fm loudly in the kitchen. shes insensitive to my desire to practice the piano in peace in an environment that facilitates my development. My dad hates me. My brother hates me. I had a sexual relationship with a boy who was the son of a family friend at 14 and his mum found out by walking in and told my mum. She loves me yet as Christians she's appaled as is my father who is a priest. I feel too ashamed of my sexuality and having sex which negatively impacts my life. My mother is a lovely personality but is stressed and anxious. My father ditto, I find him ignorant, he can't communicate or manage interpersonal relationships. His disjointed mannerisms derive from social anxiety. In my mothers view, the family is ruined because of my younger brother. He'd always run around the house disinhibited, and come onto my mother, strangers, etc (he's autistic so doesn't understand). Obviously the family is fucked beyond repair. My parents only mission in life is posting shit on Facebook as would be activists for a free Russia or some bs. Most of their friends are online, they have low functioning lifestyles, don't understand love and see the world through a 100% academic worldview. None of my acheivements were ever good enough for them, etc

2) im an addict more or less. my desire to use twitter originated in pay per click advertising. i was broke i got followers etc also i was mad at 'clout' people then i went to some events in canary wharf reinvented the operation as real estate based in the city from a virtual adress it functioned perfectly got retreats from battersea city council, other quite well respected accounts found it fascinating how it was taken seriously went a bit far starting using the medium to solely communicate with a network and reason with them while triggering everyone else with no immunity. the inspiration was my inner child whom by all accounts was quite egotistical then use ig for girls and friends i guess ig would trigger me because the clout is fake linkedin for visualisation tbh i got caught up and it started accumulating power etc used fb for piano tuition fucking triggered by fb, useless imo . 3) habits awful bad diet, water, no gym, sports no piano no part time job no relationships not seeing anyone just addicted to online . 4) triggered by being educated as it was outside my model bathed in ignorance disputed with maths and french and music and piano . 5) i want the coolest most developed chords i dont even care for the expression spontaneity creativity i just want the most edgy/advanced chords i don't even reason out part writing or experience inherent joy from it . 6) dysfunctional anxiety ridden ignorant non sexual not transparent no social events no shared values no mutuals . 7) ashamed as said im gay? perhaps pansexual no clue im not attracted to girls it feels forced im gay i admit it logistically hard parents might cut off if they found out . 8) ridiculously huge delusional not funded by enough money weak networking . 9a) Yasmin girls all classes sixth form exam boards teachers . 9b) yomi sees potential and feels contrived sympsthy for me same with mutazz both dont truly know me but love for them etc ditto w al dhillon knows nothing about me no friends know anything about me, I'm a loner by choice to protect myself . 10) couldn't deal with being in the same room as people i thought were less then me was angry took out on exams lol . 11) no clue how to be happy love? . 12) non existent no clue

13) im gay so thats a start haha self sabotage my public portrayal amongst close friends Sabotage my own education bipolar/mania lol Sabotage my musical expression Sabotage my popularity (for being woke?) lol annoyed at fake insta clout annoyed at how friends like sam saw me as an outsider instead of the other way round lol eh nah take that back different cliques much love . 14) i listen to crap instead of 'high culture' such as Beethoven symphonies idk my piano repetoire

15) legit manic episodes bipolar i consultation indefinitely . 16) im a legend in terms of my perception yet im embarrassed I'm not confident i dont follow through a gap year basically failure to aaa probably Warwick mfl when i could have been Oxbridge (with hard sincere work) eh . but then again It is all about me the self styled maverick Benedict gets the mission a shit uni would be a troll gp shit/aaa/ Russell g/ucl i mean it would look better but interpersonal perception and communication are so manipulated i could probably make an Oxford degree on ms Paint and pass it off or be the bossman of rcm or Warwick mfl/adjustment I guess lol like e corp guy im the most powerful guy in the room but i fucked it bc hussey has superior expertise and i kinda need to be subservient to the exam boards loool whoops . * Im too strong willed pass off as bipolar a*aa hope for the best through adjustment keep interpersonal communication doctrine calm af . 17) i have trolled before it was nasty but im past that perhaps some light sarcasm thats all kindness love . be honest about my mischief it can't be made up so will get away with it . 18) not good have pride in al yomi mutazz everyone so far in my life endless relationships andthe future . 19) loool i don't buy that shit . i believe were the sum of our choices nothing is definitive only the present moment defines us in my opinion so failure in the past generally speaking is irrelevant never judge

20) not working etc doing the work for a*aa bc the perfectly valid reasoning was being rejected by me as it fell outside my model . 21) yeah i make excuses not to be accepted and respected as expected (flourish) because i like being the victim .

Submitted September 18, 2018 at 12:57AM by dopamineway via reddit https://ift.tt/2pdkCYu