#dist who i laughed about when he first turned up and told mist 'imagine he gets an angsty past'

[ruddcatha]

Chapter 2 of The Guardian has been posted, find it now at Ao3 and FFN

Kagome stirred, trying to rouse herself from her dreams and the golden eyes that seemed to see into her very soul.  The sound of her alarm barely broke through her daze, she had never felt so exhausted before.  She looked at the offending object, grumbling when she realized that it really was 7 a.m. already, and they had to leave for the site at 8:30.  She stumbled into the kitchenette of her dorm, muttering to Sango who laughed and handed her a cup of coffee, knowing Kagome was NOT a morning person.  Kagome shot her a glance, her chocolate eyes full of worship and thankfulness as she took her first sip of the life sustaining liquid.  Two and half cups of coffee and a piece of toast with orange marmalade later, she felt human enough to shower and prepare for the day.

Kagome caught Sango’s attention and nodded towards the bathroom.  “Go ahead, I’m already done in there…. Unlike SOME people I don’t need an injection of caffeine in the morning” was the teasing response. Kagome gave a joking growl, shaking her head at Sango as she entered the bathroom.  Sango was her best friend from High School, they had been in the same class. Sometimes Kagome wished she had followed Sango’s footsteps and gone straight into Grad School after graduating from university, but she had taken two years to travel to various shrines and museums, learning on her own about different cultures.  She had almost wiped out her savings traveling from Japan to Australia and China to broaden her own knowledge base before applying and joining the archeology program with Sango.  Sango was the sister Kagome never had, and Kagome would gladly trade her younger brother Souta to officially claim Sango as kin.  

Kagome sighed blissfully as the hot water from the shower cascaded over her body.  Her muscles were still sore from the previous day, and she knew it was important to get the knots worked out before going back.  She turned the temperature up even more as she relaxed, lathering, and rinsing her long hair.  She reluctantly turned off the shower, she had not realized that the bathroom had filled with steam.  She frowned and thought ‘I didn’t think the temperature was that hot.’ The bathroom had disappeared in the white haze, she was not able to make out any of the fixtures, it was as if she had entered a dream state, separated out from the rest of the world.  She bent down, trying to find anything to help her get her bearings, for some reason she was desperate to find her towel.  Even though she knew she was by herself, she felt exposed.  She tried to call out for Sango, but the mist around her seemed to absorb the sound. She closed her eyes in both pain and relief as her right hand connected soundly with a solid surface.  She quickly moved towards the surface, reaching out to trace the edges to identify the counter and catch her bearings.  As she moved closer, she began to see her outline in the mirror, distorted through the haze.  She stopped dead, feeling as if all the blood in her body had turned to ice as she looked at her reflection… and the glowing red eyes that seemed to be behind her.  Keeping her hand on the counter, afraid that if she let go, she would be lost in the mist, she quickly looked to see who… or what… was there.

“HEY KAGOME” Sango yanked open the bathroom door “we have to get going or we’ll be late.  What’s keeping you?”  Kagome’s vision instantly cleared, the mist vanishing, the red eyes no more than a figment of her imagination.  “hey you ok?” Sango asked, seeing her friend’s death grip on the counter. Kagome shook her head, trying to ease the fear and tension “yea San, just lost track of time.  Give me a minute and I’ll be ready.”  She dashed to her bedroom, the tension in her easing as she covered herself with a pair of cargo pants and a black tank top. Remembering the chill the day before, and still feeling chills from earlier, she grabbed an old army jacket that she had found in a thrift store.  As she left the bedroom, she grabbed a stack of papers off her printer to bring with her.  Sango raised an eyebrow at the ensemble, Kagome just shrugged, lifted the corner of her mouth “the pockets will come in handy.”  Sango laughed, agreeing with her, heading towards the door of their apartment.  As they made their way to the parking lot, Sango tossed Kagome a bag with two slices of bacon and a sausage link “toast is not enough for today, who knows when Totosai will let us break for lunch.”  Kagome gratefully ate the offering, climbing into the back of the first jeep with Sango, Jaken had already claimed shotgun with Totosai driving.

As they drove to the shrine, Kagome began to review the limited information she had been able to pull from google and obscure legend sites, looking to learn more about the Inu Yokai.  She tuned out the conversation around her as she scoured the pages, frustrated with the limited information she had available.  She wanted actual useful information, damnit, but none of the information she had found seemed in any way credible or explained the statues in the shrine.  She allowed herself to listen to the conversation around her, Sango teasing Jaken over his fascination with frogs and toads.  “I will have you know, there is a very big dist….” Jaken said, about to go into a lecture when Sango leaned over and smacked his forehead “WE KNOW WE KNOW; YOU HAVE TOLD US A THOUSAND TIMES!” Kagome and Dr. Totosai laughed, used to the banter from classes.  Kagome felt the tension from the morning easing with the familiar routine with her friends and classmates.  A sense of calm came over her as they drew closer to the shrine, a smile teasing her lips as the last vestiges of fear faded from her memory, forgotten in her excitement.

The two jeeps made their way carefully through the forest, the modern world disappearing around the team. Soon the two flags that marked the entrance to the underground shrine were visible, and Totosai brought his vehicle to a halt.  The air around the shrine smelled cleaner somehow as Kagome took in a deep breath, the smells of the forest barely detectable.  Sango and Kagome collected their gear from the back of their vehicle before walking to the entrance, waiting to receive their locations for the day.  “Alright” Dr. Totosai exclaimed, looking over his notes “Jaken and Hojo, I want you two in the first room on the left, you made good progress there in identifying the markings and offerings that were found.  Sango, I would like you and Akitoki to take the second room on the right. That room has not been touched yet, and I want you to begin your survey, marking off any artifacts you find and noting them in the logs before you begin recovery.  Kagome, you will be with me again in the main room, I want to see if we can continue to translate the text we found.” Totosai looked at his watch “it is now 9:00, let’s reconvene at 12:30 for lunch and to discuss the afternoons assignments.”  He looked around at his five assistants and saw everyone nod before turning on their lanterns and descending into the entrance.

As the sound of footsteps entering the hallway echoed, a pair of golden eyes snapped open, the owner’s attention drawn towards the stone doors that separated the intruders from his resting place.  In a blur of movement, the figure leapt off the ground, landing with ease in an alcove that had been carved into the upper walls of the room, hidden from view by clever carving, allowing a perfect vantage point.  The light from the lanterns did not reach the alcove, but the individual did not need any additional light to view the two figures as they entered the room. A young man moved silently, hidden in shadows.  He turned his head, listening to the voices below, trying to make out any recognizable words, as the figure looked over the edge, curious but cautious. He knew that they were speaking Japanese from the few words he could make out, but it was a dialect that he was unfamiliar with, and while words seemed familiar, they were also strange, as if the language had changed.  He saw them approach the tallest statue in the front of the room, his eyes narrowed, waiting for any sign of aggression.  He relaxed when the two seemed focused on the legend inscribed on the wall, growling in disgust at their attempts to pronounce the words.  

The man had no idea how long he had been sealed, or who these people were.  He knew his mission, but until he knew that they could be trusted, he would keep out of sight, trying to learn more about them and why they were there.  His eyes were drawn to the young woman below him, and he felt his breath catch as her face was caught in the light.  Despite the distance between them, he could see her features as clearly as if he had been standing next to her, the tilt of her nose, the shade of her eyes.  He was entranced by her, the light dancing off her reflection as she moved, concealing then revealing her features as if choreographed.  Her voice was soft, and he felt his ears move to try and catch more of the sounds.

“Professor over here!” Kagome exclaimed softly.  When Totosai looked around, she had moved to the back corner of the room.  As he made his way to her, she tilted her head, looking at the empty pedestal before her.  “This is the only open pedestal in this room” she whispered as Totosai came near “and look here.”  Totosai leaned down to the base of the pedestal, looking where Kagome pointed. None of the pedestals in the room held any characters or names, but this one was different.  At the base of the pedestal was a stylized carving of a dog, surrounded by a circle.  While a dog carving was not unusual in Japanese art, this carving was designed like the ancient depiction of a demon dog, with a lightning bolt marking on each side of its face.  Kagome tilted her head in curiosity, recognizing the markings.  She looked back to the singe statue in the front of the room then back to the pedestal, confirming to herself that they did, indeed, look almost identical.  She wondered it this was the demon form of the Inu no Taisho.  Looking around the room, it seemed strange that only one pedestal had the marking, while the others were plain.  Lost in her own thoughts and musings, she did not notice her professor going still, his right hand moving to rub his left forearm as he stared at the image.

Kagome reached out an arm to touch the symbol, yet a sound made her pause.  A low growl seemed to echo through the room, so faint she almost thought she was imagining it.  She turned, looking to see where it was coming from, but the sound faded as if it had never been.  She turned to Totosai, about to ask if he had heard it as well, but was interrupted “Kagome, it is 12:30, let’s go get lunch with the others, we can come back after.” She sighed then nodded, grabbing her lantern as she left the room to join Sango.  Totosai watched her leave, then moved to the center of the room, rolling back the long sleeve that covered his left arm. He held his arm up above his head and lifted his lantern with his right hand.  A mark on his arm began to glow silver in the light, the image of a demon dog surrounded by a circle.  He looked up towards the top of the walls, his soft voice echoing in the chamber.

 “Yōkoso hogo-sha, Welcome Guardian.”

A soft sound from behind him made Totosai turn around.  He watched as a figure of a man unfolded, his red kimono a striking contrast to long silver hair that flowed over his shoulders.  Two ears stood atop his head, flicking at the sound of footsteps retreating from the shrine.  His golden eyes stared straight into Totosai’s before turning to look at the mark. Totosai lowered his arms, tilting his head towards the figure in reverence.

 “Welcome back...Lord Inuysha.”

@heavenin--hell​, thank you again for the inspiration!

[sightofspira]

Nectar.

A short selection of scenes exploring Dist’s feelings towards Jade and their relationship over time. Alternatively, how Saphir became Dist.  CW: Dist is Obsessive & Creepy, Drowning, Death, Terrible Metaphors.  -- Jade was, to Saphir, like a flower. He often thought, in his younger, more childish days - that Jade and Peony should have been born with their names swapped. Peony was brutish and hard like a gemstone, undeservingly destined to embroider the thrones of emperors simply because of tradition and namesake. Jade, however, Jade was like a delicate flower. Stalky and thin, with lips like fine petals, his eyes the richest red that could only be compared to the rose. Even his skin was rose-like, white roses, and his heart was a mess of thorns. Saphir mused on this a little longer, thinking that… if he could change his name, or the meaning behind it, change who he was as so often he wished he could - he would be a hummingbird. A flittering, graceful thing - who never needed to touch the earth for fear its ringing heart would stop, and who spent its life revolving around its most precious, nutritious, delicious flower. Sipping nectar, that was how he wanted to spend his days - rather than tracking over miles and miles of useless, crappy snow. 

Today was one such tracking-through-miles-of-crappy-snow day, all because Peony and Nephry had wanted to go ice-skating. But of course, the lakes closet to town weren’t frozen nearly enough - and that dumb ox Peony had of course already been out hillwalking, and of course he had found a solidly frozen lake and of course he had suggested with all sincerity and thickheadedness, that of course they should all go there to skate. And, of course, he had protested - until his lovely Jade had decided that he was going, with a smile that tasted sweeter than any nectar and no sooner did Saphir agree that he should go. After all, what was the hummingbird without revolving around its flower? But, so sad, the hummingbird could not fly. Too brave, too shy, without a dot of practice and whole lot of shrieking - Saphir had slipped on the ice, skates with blades pointed directly at his beloved Jade, ready to cut him to ribbons. That was, until, Jade had set the ice in front of him on fire and Saphir, with one last hurried gasp that may have been the beginnings of a scream, disappeared under. The world went black. The pain was unlike anything Saphir had ever experienced, like his muscles had been peeled off from his bones and that his lungs had been sucked out from his throat, catching water. Every gasp that came involuntarily just brought in more water, lukewarm from the fire and yet seething through his insides like dry ice. And he couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t stop thinking about the endless black that rushed down beneath his feet, drawing him deeper and deeper and its blackness would enter through his mouth, through his lungs, until there was nothing left to sense but that darkness. When he managed to bob to the surface, each breath a coughing pulse, he could see that there was no one was there, nothing but the ice and the snow and the deep dim quiet. And suddenly, it was like the pale, empty white surface was as frightening as the dark below, and Saphir wondered if, even if he managed to haul himself out, if he would soon have nothing left to sense but that brightness. He had wanted Jade, Jade’s soft hand around his own, to pull him free. But Jade was gone.

The search party found him, stranded and alone, body half-pulled from the ice. He was alive, yes, and when his jaw stopped clattering enough for him to talk - he asked if Jade had called on them, if Jade had slipped under too, if Jade was waiting for him back home. Every answer was a no, and yet, when his skin was wrapped up warm again and he could feel his muscles reattach, toes able to curl and lips able to taste the hot cocoa his rescuers shoved in his face… all he could ask was, where is Jade? And finally, finally, when he saw that rose-petal boy again, whose lips looked so soft and so kind, that Saphir desperately wanted to see twist into the very slightest twinge of concern… instead slid into a smirk. A smile, even, and Saphir felt his heart roaring in his ears again, the heat finally returning to his face. Jade laughed, he remembered that, Jade laughed and said, “You have the tenacity of a cockroach”. And Saphir, named after the gem given to royals - the sparkling stone that represents fidelity and sincerity, Saphir who dreaming so desperately of becoming a hummingbird with glittering, soft and vibrant wings - compared to the lowliest, ugliest and most disgusting of creatures. All for surviving the ice. He looked at Jade’s cold surface, and disappeared under. —

Jade sat opposite him at the breakfast table, pale sunlight inching its way across the room. Saphir watched the way he cut his eggs, chopsticks running finely and precisely through the yolk, spilling yellow. He watched the way he cut fine pieces, dipped it in the yolk, and ate. He enjoyed these moments with him the most. Watching him eat was like watching God become mortal. How he reacted to his sensations, to taste, to indulgence. The way he turned his whites over in the runny yellow, so tactfully, all just to slather it in the taste he liked… something he liked. Lorelei, he felt as though just in that briefest of moments, he knew exactly what Jade felt, what Jade thought, what Jade was sensing. Knew exactly what it was like to be him, to be so cool and poised and … just enjoying his eggs. Then Jade looked at him, the fire that killed Nebilim still in his eyes. “Are you going to eat? Or are you expecting me to hand feed you?” Just like I have to do to you with everything else, the insult was as clear as it was unvoiced. Saphir shook his head, sucked his lip in, and started to eat. Jade pushed his plate away, his chair squeaking in protest to the sudden movement, and left. Saphir wolfed his breakfast down carelessly, following after him. — Nebilim was theirs. Their secret. Their precious memory. Their one and only desire. No one else! could understand them, no other soul had been their to witness her body strangled in the flames, charring even while she screamed. No one else had been in the cold, lonely snow - Jade’s magic redrawing her organs, her skin, her smile. No one else had seen her rip the limbs from that screaming man, his death still ringing in his ears even though he had induced countless others. No one else had shared, shed, seen so much blood as them. How many times had they killed her, since then? Cocktails of sodium thiopental as anaesthetic, pancuronium bromide for muscle paralysis, and potassium chloride to stop the heart. That was, of course, if she survived long enough for that - if she didn’t just disintegrate in front of them, a spew of blood and weakly gnashing teeth, with such laborious breathes… Lorelei, the breathing, the wheezing, choking bleeding, that’s what scared him the most. Only Jade knew that sound, knew how loudly it ringed in both his ears, even if his face said nothing, his lips barely ever moving from that stoic frown.   “Next time, next time. We were so, so close!” Acknowledge it, Saphir soundlessly begged, Acknowledge that this is ours. Our secret. Our dream. We’ll do it, we can do anything, anything. Please, Jade, Jade, please please say…

Jade said nothing, throwing the syringe in the bin, his back to him.

— “Discontinue the experiments.” That was it. That was the end of all of it, those three, stupid, horrible words. Jade said it so casually, so obviously, so plainly - as though this was as easy for him as ordering his eggs for breakfast. Didn’t he care?? Didn’t he care at all for all these years of slaving? For all that both of them had given, dedicated, burned out of themselves - for all that Saphir had given, dedicated, burned? Why did he get to discontinue them, just like that, why did he get to rip away the only semblance of their happiness - the only thing Saphir had ever, ever been good at, just with the click of his fingers? How could he give up his smile, his happiness, his only chance at life just like that? All because of … because of a little failure? A set back? Could perfect, beautiful, clever boy Jade - could he not handle what mere mortals like he had to survive with everyday? Did Jade think he could just keep him on a leash his whole life, that with one simple tug he’d fall under the ice with him again? No! No! This was theirs! Theirs! Theirs! The only thing that had even been theirs, the only thing that… The only thing that had ever been his!   Jade didn’t get to take that way! He didn’t! J-just because he had forgotten what it was like, to be the happy little boy in the snow, fingers slipping loose snowballs and laughing as they hit Peony right in the nose. He didn’t get to forget all those times they’d slept over at each others houses, gently giggling about all the other stupid kids that could barely tie their own shoes while they were tapping into magic and machinery that generals knew nothing of. He didn’t get to forget the soft hums of his little songs that he used to sing to himself, the terrible poetry that he showed no one but had kept for years, the violin that he used to play. He didn’t get to forget and if he did… if he did then… then Saphir would have to remember for him. Everything Jade had ever abandoned, Saphir kept. All of his precious, forgotten memories - all of his precious, forgotten self that had died with Nebilim. “Goodbye, Saphir.”

— He would no longer be the hummingbird. He would be the source of nectar. He would become the rose. And all this, this metaphor that Jade would never!, never!! understand - because poor, shy Saphir had never been able to say anything. Not when they were twelve and at their happiest, whenever Jade looked at him and the universe hushed and there was nothing but that soft, so soft, smile. Not when they were sixteen and drenched in blood, a shared, dark laugh drifting between them over yet another failure. Not when they were twenty and Jade told him it was over, Jade told him goodbye and each and every time Saphir had had a chance to scream, claw, pound on his chest and kiss his lips and tell him ‘I love you I love you Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilove…’ But he never had, and he never would! Because those days where over, long, long over! And though he was still going to recover Jade’s smile, Jade’s laugh, Jade’s heart that was lost amongst the thorns - he didn’t need to sip from his nectar anymore! That mana was his own, all his own. He wasn’t going to be stupid, runny nosed Saphir anymore, a stupid little brat who was forever washed out by Jade’s light. No, he was going to take that light, and he was going to shine brighter than that brainwashed idiot’s dulled surface.

Dist. Distant, Distorted, Dissonant, Dist. Jade may have pretty, but Dist would be more beautiful. Jade may have been intelligent, but Dist would be so much more clever. Jade may have been elegant and confident and perfect in every single way but it was Dist, Dist who would be more and more and more, always more. Only then would he be good enough, able enough, strong enough to bring her back - if Jade had decided to accept withering and dying, well, Dist would simply have to bloom in his place.