#disruptive and a couple times when people turned to me and asked basic qs and i took 2+ mins to answer and then they'd turn back to each
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maybe i am too disabled for this
#it's been A Week#monday i was riding the high of my advisor saying that there are support options for me on my year abroad#and since then i've been hit w big speaking problems and i sound stupider than normal in french*#*this is purely self critical - i don't think anyone else w speaking problems sounds stupid it's just cus it's me yknow#it's what i say not how i say it i'm not any less good at french blablablablabla etcetc#but like in a degree and year abroad programme which is ultimately assessed through level of spoken language i feel so behind#today at language cafe i was chatting w this one guy in the year below me which was nice but then all of a sudden 3 near-natives/natives#joined the table and the 4 of them were yapping away and i was following near perfectly but i felt unable to jump in cus it would be#disruptive and a couple times when people turned to me and asked basic qs and i took 2+ mins to answer and then they'd turn back to each#other and keep yapping about their fav cuisines and french cheeses#idk man i'm so tired of being seen as Less and every time smth like this happens i feel like it's more and more true#is it really such a surprise that someone w a severe speech impediment does a languages degree for the love of it despite the Horrors#i'm stressed w assignments atm i'll get over it but atm: :( maybe i should talk to my disability advisor about this just for a vent#ellis exclaims
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