#disclaimer: i warned him but it's a canon event so i can't stop it

[sleepy-edits]

[scaredcrab]

Macaque x Reader - Silly Vallentine

Promotional Disclaimer: This chapter is being posted here to promote the whole work on AO3! To read more chapters, go to the AO3 link, in fact, the new chapters will be posted there first!

✐ 1 Chapter summary: Overcome by boredom, Macaque goes for a walk on Valentine's Day and finds you. An event that turns out to be more amusing than expected.

✐ Category: Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Cute; Slow Burn; Slow Romance; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Reader-Insert; Touch-Starved; Cuddling & Snuggling; Foreign Reader; Gender-Neutral Pronouns; Humor; Mythology References; Not Beta Read.

Trigger Warning (for the whole work, not this chapter in particular): Angst; Blood and Violence; Trust Issues; Self-Esteem Issues; Self-Worth Issues; lots of issues; Xenophobia; Trauma; Swearing; Emotional Baggage; Emotional Hurt.

-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-

Chapter 1 - Valentine

This kind of celebration usually doesn't matter much to warriors dedicated only to fighting and revenge, there's no time to meet new people and to love if you're busy going after a hated acquaintance.

But that doesn't mean boredom can't knock on these people's doors.

A powerful monkey demon walks through a large city disguised as an ordinary human. The monotony of his hiding place had ended up irritating him, resulting in a stroll during "lovers day".

The tedium was enormous to make someone so reclusive go out on a day like this. Streets are full of commemorative decorations, mainly pink heart-shaped ornaments, and serenades with sweet music can be heard everywhere, even the sky looked rosier than usual, however what occupies the surroundings more than the color pink are couples laughing. 

Couples that make you want to throw up for being so clingy, many of them look like exaggerated caricatures of what a happy pair would look like. The demon even rolled his eyes when he heard some phrases from the loose lovebirds, sometimes having a good hearing is a nightmare.

"I'm scared, honey, what if I don't like the people at the party?" - A short girl passes by the monkey.

"Calm down, if you get nervous, we'll just get out of there. Trust me, we're in this together." - The other girl takes one of her partner's shoulders and speaks in a sweet, calm voice.

He stops in place, for a brief moment.

... Yeah, even though the concept of clingy couples was a little annoying, there was a part of him that held a certain... Interest. 

The idea of having someone who cares about your emotional and physical state, the idea of being appreciated, someone to give you attention and affection, someone to trust, all of this was somehow pleasant to imagine. A part of him really craved someone he could actually count on, someone that would actually choose to stay with him.

The warrior shook his head to get that unimportant feeling out of there. Is the holiday making him emotional? This is so pathetic. Like, come on, he had more fun things to do than that!

The biggest fun of being on the streets today is watching couples break up. Or to see people rejecting each other. Dramatic love situations filled with people with broken hearts, looking like over-the-top soap operas in real life. That was pure entertainment.

A rattling bell and the sound of hard material hitting the wall shows that someone has opened a door not far away with incredible brute force, the door in question being the door of a luxuriant restaurant.

"Wait! Come back! What did I do wrong, my little pudding?!" - A man cried while trying to reach a woman in a fancy dress.

"I've already made it clear to you that I hate it when you call me that. What were you thinking, showing up dressed like that in front of my entire family?" - She pointed with her index finger at the clown nose the man had on his face.

"I-I wanted to make your family have fun."

"You made everyone laugh at me! Laugh at us. You made me look like an idiot!"

Ooh, this was a good drama, an argument for a ridiculous reason. This gives a bunch of inspiration to an artist, stupid story scenarios becomes the perfect reference to fun scenes. The beauty and the clown, yeah, this could be the theme of a shadow play, a funny one. A few laughs escaped the demon's lips, so much suffering for such a stupid reason was a special comedy to watch.

Unfortunately for him, the pairing didn't take long to reconcile, returning to the restaurant's interior happily and holding hands.

He rolled his eyes at the scene, boredom returned and, so did his quest for entertainment. Maybe looking for fun outside the hideout wasn't such a good idea at all.

He looked at the restaurant through the front window, taking off his hood of his head, so it wouldn't get in the way of the view, inside there were several couples eating fancy dishes that looked delicious...

Ah yes, the second reason to go out today, the food.

The dishes had too many heart decorations for the Six Eared Macaque's taste, however, that didn't change how tasty they looked. Main courses full of meats and spices, a big variety of drinks and sugary desserts filled the space in every busy table.

If he sneaks into the shadows the right way, it won't be hard to get some good meals.

His belly growled.

"AaaAh! That was loud!" - He looked to the side and saw... You. - "Gosh, you scared me!"

Macaque jumped startled, he hadn't seen that a human had approached to look in the window too. A loud noise came from your belly almost as if it was competing with his stomach.

"Oh... You must be hungry. You also don't have a partner to eat a Valentine's Day food?" - Your hunger had reminded you of that scary noise that came from his tummy.

Macaque was starting to consider fleeing away from there, all he needs less now is boring small talk in the midst of invasion plans.

"Today there are various places offering special dishes for couples, but only for couples." - You keep talking even without hearing an answer from him. - "I'm alone too, so I understand the feeling of walking around without a partner, it makes us think about all the good food we're missing. I only left my house today to see everything decorated and pink, you know. I wanted to see the city transformed." 

/ Does this human get chatty when hungry, or are they just naturally annoying? /

After that thought, the belly of the two rumbled together, a synchronized noise, it sounded like a were a rehearsed trick.

"Argh! Those foods look so delicious! I would even pay someone to accompany me, pretending to be my partner."

/ Wait a minute, what did they just say? /

"Would you really pay someone to do something like that?" - An interest appeared behind the question.

"Of course, I really want the couples discounts and stuff." - You answered honestly without even thinking twice, it's a habit of yours that ends up putting you in complicated situations all the time.

A mischievous grin broke out on his face. 

He turned around and put a hand on your shoulder to have your attention just for him, you look into the eyes of the man who was holding you. - "Well, today is your lucky day! I am completely willing to cooperate with you in exchange for a good payment."

Now the human eyes stared at the man, the owner of those eyes carrying a certain nervousness within them. We all know that you shouldn't make deals with strangers, you know that very well yourself, but this is an opportunity to eat the exclusive foods that will only be available for today...

You took a good look at his figure to study his details, checking out the sparkle in his eyes, the charming smile, the beard that added the final touch to his attractive face. He wears clothes in nice colors that match each other, specifically dark red and black, his dark hair wasn't super tidy but wasn't tossed around either. The strands look very soft too, a strange urge to stroke the locks of hair haunted your head, but you held back. A man full of charisma stood before you.

You had to admit, he is hot. He is really hot, and he probably knows that (right?), so how expensive would that service be?

"... And how much would be a good payment in your opinion?"

He moved closer to your ear (a thing that made your whole body heat up and shiver) and using a seductive, soft voice, he whispered the value. Your brain melted hearing the voice while collapsed, listening to the number being said. God. The company of pretty men really was expensive.

He seemed to be delighted to see you shudder, to see you making such a shocked expression at the answer, a smug and satisfied smile graced his face. And honestly, this attitude only made you feel more silly feelings in your chest.

"My lord! This much just because you're handsome?!"

"Nice try, but flattering me isn't going to make me change the price I set."

"W-Wait! Let's talk a few things before accepting any price! Like, what places do you allow us to go? What couple things I can do with you? What are your personal boundaries? It wouldn't be fair to charge a specific amount without considering certain things."

The man stares at you intently for a few seconds like someone trying to see through dark glass, arms crossed defensively as he "scans" you up and down. He seemed to be searching for lies through the aura of your soul, or something like this.

"... Like a spoken contract? A kind of sacred agreement between us?" - You nodded with your head.

After thinking some more, Macaque started to say his limitations: No kisses. No hugs. No pet names. You're only allowed to walk holding hands (so you don't end up getting lost). 

On your turn to speak, you negotiate the places to visit: an elegant restaurant, a chocolate fondue stand and a cute cafe. These places had great deals for couples and unique Valentine's Day dishes.

/ Isn't that too much food for just one person? /

He had no idea how much food would fit in your stomach, but he could eat a lot himself, so he was getting a big prize. Caring for you was the least of his worries, so your final state at the end of the tour doesn't matter as long as he's well paid and well-fed. 

Being so demanding and limiting turned out to affect the final price of the deal, you would have to pay less to the fake boyfriend, but it was still a hefty price.

With everything settled, it was time to pay.

You looked in your wallet with a sad expression. - "Goodbye sweet money, I will never forget you."

When you were about to hand over the payment, you remembered a basic socialization step.

"Wait a minute! I don't know your name." - You held your money close to your chest, hesitating.

The monkey blinked in disbelief, processing the moment, of all suspicious things was it the lack of name that made you hesitate?

A light chuckle escaped from him. - "You can call me Mac. What about you?"

After revealing your name, you glared at the man as you slowly handed over the money, taking your time to say goodbye to the lost fortune. When he took the money from your hands, you made a thin little noise of suffering. Honestly, you're so exaggerated.

We can say that you're dumb too! Knowing each other's names isn't going to stop one from running off with the payment. Lucky for you, Macaque was starting to be entertained by the human innocence. Or would it be better to say stupidity instead of innocence?

Well, it doesn't matter, a fake date has begun.

[thegreymoon]

Hi! Thank you for responding to my question about 2ha haters' bad takes. Your answer helped a lot! It's true that some people will simply never shut up when it comes to blindly hating on 2ha. However, I do wonder if meatbun had focused a bit more on ranwan's sexuaI trauma (especially chu wanning. as in making them talk about it at least once maybe in the post canon extras?), would these horrible takes be a somewhat lower in number...? Anyway, thank you for responding!

Hey, anon!

I'm glad you found my reply helpful!

Honestly, I think Meatbun focuses enough on what was done to them both, considering what the focus of this book is to begin with. This is an erotic novel, not a manual on healthy relationships. Again, people who cannot tell the difference really shouldn't be reading this book in the first place.

I don't see how anything would have been improved if Meatbun had stopped in the middle of the text and put up a warning in bright, neon letters saying, "DISCLAIMER: Don't rape people in real life, kids!" Nor do I see the benefit of the two of them sitting down and analysing it in text bit by bit so that a bunch of antis can be satisfied (spoiler alert: they still wouldn't be satisfied and would still nitpick it till kingdom come anyway). As it stands, they do discuss what was done to them both. Primarily in chapter 279, before Mo Ran's death, when Chu Wanning ends it with "I was willing, I am still willing and will be willing in the future too." We see Chu Wanning having nightmares post-canon. We see him and Mo Ran negotiating consent in the extras for one of their kinkier games and how sensitive Mo Ran in his right mind is to what he's done to Chu Wanning before and how important his consent is now. I am sure there are multiple other instances that I can't remember off the top of my head, but again, like I said, none of this matters.

This whole discussion reminds me of a tragic event some years ago at Yellowstone National Park where a group of people ignored a clear warning, crossed a barrier, went to take a picture too close to the edge of a waterfall, fell in and died. Later, a journalist asked a ranger if they were going to put up more signs and the ranger replied, "No." Rightfully so, because there were plenty of warnings and common sense should tell you that this is dangerous, but if you choose to ignore all that for a cute selfie, then whatever happens afterwards is on you. No matter how many warnings there are, stupid people are going to be stupid, ignore them all and get hurt.

The same principle goes for smaller things, like deciding whether or not to read 2ha. I feel like people have done plenty by spreading warnings far and wide that this book contains non-con. The book itself is labelled as being for adult readers only. Reasonable people understand what kinky erotica is, do not equate fiction with reality and do not get butthurt when two fictional dudes in ancient fantasy China don't have a detailed manifesto in-text about their opinions on the evils of rape. This book is for people looking for erotic fantasy (with a dash of having their neurons rearranged by the story on the side). It is not and never will be a guidebook on safe, sane and consensual sex.

In any case, nonny, my advice remains the same! Block and ignore all antis and bad faith takes. You cannot win this argument and you shouldn't try. Just block, block, block and block some more. You will be much happier, I promise!

^_^

[chiaraswritings]

Anxiety

Disclaimer: I do not own DC or their characters, or their settings. This is certainly not canon.

Warnings & Topics: Social anxiety disorder. 18+, if you please.

Word Count: 1.7K words

Summary: fem!Reader is struggling with social anxiety while attending Bruce Wayne's birthday party, but then she meets a woman named Barbara who helps her escape. Very happy ending. Just fluff & stuff.

Author's note: Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you enjoy.

How the hell did I end up here, I asked myself. 

I pressed my back to the mahogany wall as colors and watched the pastel colors swirl past me. I should have never come to this event, this celebration. I'm not even sure how I got invited to this. I had barely ever crossed paths with Bruce Wayne. Sure, I'd edited news stories covering his spotlight before sending them off to be published on the internet, but I could never bring myself to meet with him face to face. I'd talked with him over the phone, fact checking a wild take that a journalist had submitted, but in the two minutes and five seconds that we had chatted, he had obviously decided I was suitable to be invited to his birthday reception. 

That's what I absolutely love about my job. I can sit in a dark office all day, I don't have to see anyone face to face, all submissions and communications are sent via email. I'm trying to make arrangements to work from home, so the stress of being so close to the other offices won't be on my mind. My job only requires a computer and phone, after all. 

My boss was overjoyed when he heard I had been invited to the big event. Any more excitement, and he would have started a fire with how fast words were spilling out of his mouth. His thrill, however, did not match my own by a long shot. I thought back to when I was sitting in my comfy, swiveling office chair, staring up at the balding, sprightly man who was positively demanding I accept the invitation and attend the event. I don't think I even verbally responded to him at the time. My plagued mind overtook my body, and still had ahold of it even then as I tried to blend into Bruce Wayne's wall.

Social anxiety disorder, my constant companion. My nemesis, my excuse, my greatest hurdle. The only reason I stood there in my old prom dress is because my boss has been on such edge lately, and like my coworkers, I wasn't ready to risk the consequences of saying no to him right then. My anxiety was to blame for that too, coincidentally enough. 

As the sea of long dresses and black suits moved past, I tried my hardest to remember my therapist's favorite phrases. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your surroundings. How is your body reacting to this situation? I could answer the last question easily enough. My heart was beating out of my chest, my stomach was churning, sweat was appearing on my trembling hands. Fear was wrapped around my throat, my breathing labored. An older gentleman in a very nice suit gave me a concerned look before his glamorous college-student wife pulled him towards the dance floor. Yes, please go, stop looking at me. I wonder how many people are looking at me right now. 

Be aware of your surroundings. I tried, I really tried. I tried to take in the luxury of the room. The velvet curtains, the gold trim, the expensive art, the... was that a tapestry? Be aware of your body. I attempted to become aware of my physical senses. Deep breaths, eyes closed, trying to relax my tense muscles. 

"Ma'am, are you alright?" 

My eyes flew open. A young waiter with a tray was quizzically observing me from a couple feet away.

I can't do this anymore. "Yes! Yes, yes, I'm alright." Fight or flight mode had been activated. Not bothering to thank him, I slipped past the waiter and made a not-so-graceful getaway to the hall. Lush ivy and large chairs decorated the long room, along with a huge mirror that I planted myself in front of, my entire brain trying to retake control. But no, the sickening, uninvited fear had ahold of my entire body.

Looking up into the mirror, I was not exactly pleased by what I saw. My eyes were full of adrenaline and my mascara was running slightly. My dress was wrinkled by where I clutched it at the hip. My hair was the only thing that didn't look frazzled (thanks to an hour of straightening before I had left for the party). Using the tip of my finger, I tried to clean up the mascara around my eyes.

"Did you get bored too?" 

My finger nearly went into my eye, startled by the unexpected and unwelcome voice. I wanted to run like a deer being threatened by a panther. I turned nervously to the owner of the voice, and my fear alleviated if only for a moment by the spectacularism of the person I saw. A red haired young woman in a black velvet dress had approached me, a single party-goer from the roar of festivities behind her. I could see the door swinging closed from when she had entered. My anxiety lurched and I could feel liquid coming up in my throat. A hard swallow later, and I assumed my most casual pose. "You could say that."

The redhaired woman turned, pulled her lipstick from her clutch, and repainted her red lips in the mirror. "I'm not even sure why I'm here, my father is the one who actually knows Mr. Wayne."

"I don't know him at all. Bruce, I mean. Not your father." Oh, that sounded so rude. "Sorry... about that." 

She turned back around and gave me a shiny smile. "Are you okay?" 

Hell no, I'm not okay. "Yes, of course." My hands were still trembling and my cheeks were flushed. Breathing hurt. The radiant woman in front of me could obviously see through the lie. Her head cocked, her beautiful, wavy red hair swayed. 

"You don't seem okay," her concern was evident, but I wasn't in the mood for people being concerned and trying to make me talk about it.

"I'm okay, I just haven't eaten today. So... I should probably go do that," that wasn't even a lie. I had only had coffee today so I wouldn't throw up from nervousness tonight. 

"What's your name?" asked the woman who was freshening her eyeliner in the mirror. 

"(Y/N) (L/N)."

"I'm Barbara Gordon. It's good to meet you. And funny enough, I'm hungry too," the stranger straightened and shook my still shaking hand. "Want to go get something? I can't fill up on shrimp and caviar." 

"Neither can I, seafood isn't my favorite." I was shocked at my own boldness. My fear had released its painful grip slightly, but it was far from gone.

"Me neither. I could go for Chinese," Barbara smiled at me. "Want to join? My treat." 

Now this was an unexpected decision. She seems nice enough... I want to so badly. It'd definitely be a way out of here, and with a nice person. But what if she's not nice? What if she's not who she seems? What if I mess up in front of her? What if she invites more people? "I'm not sure..."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm chill, I need a way out of this place too. I mostly came for my dad, he loves Bruce. I'm just... not in the right place to party like this." 

How about this, my brain bargained with itself. If it turns out bad, we never have to see her again. If it goes good, then we... still never have to see her again. "What the heck. Got a place in mind?"

"Of course, come on! I can't think of a better time than two well dressed girls getting the best Chinese in town. We can take my dad's car." 

My hands had slowly stopped trembling. I think it's going to be okay.

...

My escape with Barbara was a needed lifesaver. She made the car ride pleasant, complimenting my dress, asking me about my job, commenting on my hair. I think she sensed that I wasn't as comfortable talking about myself, so she told me about her own life. She was a college student, she was multilingual, she lived with her dad at the moment, but was looking into getting her own place. Listening to her talk was relaxing, knowing I didn't have to talk about myself, no risks of stumbling over my words like I did earlier. 

We arrived at what looked to be a family-owned place, it wasn't a chain restaurant, which I sort of admired Barbara for. The best Chinese food came from small restaurants, and she seemed to acknowledge that. The woman assured me she knew exactly what I would like, telling me she'd order then come join me. 

I slid into one of the empty booths. Actually, all of them were empty. Too late at night for most people to get takeout, but Barbara and I were evidently not the same as those people. She joined me at the table with trays that smelled much tastier than the takeout Chinese that my boss had delivered at the office every day for lunch. "This looks amazing, thank you so much."

"No, thank you for coming with. It's nice that I found a friend to do this with." Barbara smiled before picking up one of the cartons.

Friend. The word felt so new. "It's been a really long time since I've had a friend." Anxiety brewed and steamed in my throat, but I forgot all about it when she slid her phone across the table to me, a new contact form ready to fill out on the screen.

"Well, now you have one," the redhaired woman said with a smile, before taking another bite of the food. 

...

That was four years ago to this day. It's Bruce Wayne's birthday again, but neither of us are on the guest list. That's perfectly okay, we have our own party going on for us. Empty Chinese takeout cartons lay on the coffee table, an actress on the television screen dramatically screams in fear, and I am laying on Barbara's chest, my finger becoming accustomed to the new diamond ring.

I look up at her, admiring how her fiery hair glows in the pale light of the television screen. Anxiety? Hah, not around Barbara, not anymore. Finally finding a person I can experience only joy around... that feels good. Her hand rests on my head, holding me close. Her eyes are focused on the television, but by her smile, I know her mind is somewhere else. She notices I'm no longer interested in the film, turns off the TV, and smiles down at me. Butterflies, not anxiety, fill my stomach. 

"Did you get bored too?"

"You could say that."

[strawberry-nugget]

Oddly specific bnha headcanons

Characters: Deku, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari, Jirou, All Might, Endeavor, Hawks, Dabi

A/N: I'm finally back from my mini hiatus and I finally finished a part of my never ending cursed head canons and I also hit a new milestone so I feel like you all deserve this attempt of mine at comedy for the love I've been getting...I'm also sorry, this is a wild ride, and as you're reading you might wonder why did I make these? And the answer is, simply, because I can 😭, no lol though true... I'm soft so if these made you laugh and you leave an LMAO comment I'll think about it forever uwu. I've talked about most of these with my dear friend @aichiin, who is an amazing artist whom should support in all platforms uwu bye

Warnings: some of this content is NSFW, 18+, so if you're under 18 DO NOT INTERACT

Disclaimer: everyone is at least of 18 years of age

• I can't explain why, and we've seen Endeavor texting shoto in canon but... I feel like probably his texts look like this: …..shoto why aren't you Answering your phone… 

….tell fuyumi to make you soba… . 

… ……are you still friends with that rude boy from school.. 

…I don't want any take out dont get any for me tell natsuo that I'm sorry and try to ask him if he's changed his mind about forgiving me.… 

• All might opens a Facebook account a month before the beloved class graduates as his way to keep on touch with everyone after they're off to fight crime and lives his life as the ultimate Facebook mom and thinks he's texting people but apparently posting on your Facebook wall isn't texting. He has probably made a thousand posts asking midoriya how it works until people just, they just, accept it, I guess, there's nothing else they can do. He uses the Facebook mom tulip emoji and writes in all cap. Give him credit for being so sweet tho. 

And probably it goes like this: "💞🥰🌷🤣WHAT AN AMAZING SUNDAY. GOOD MORNING YOUNG MIDORIYA HOW HAVE YOU BEEN" Ofc he will not hesitate to use all these emojis unironically, in fact, he doesn't know that is the ironic use of an emoji, leave him alone

(Comments on the post most probably go like this: Bakugo: I EXIST TOO YOU OLD HAG, FUCK YOU DEKU, I DIDN'T BRING YOU TO THIS WORLD BUT I SURE WILL TAKE YOU OUT. MOTHERFUCKER. 

Denki: mister al mght do we have english tomorrow ? 

Momo: @denki, no but we have literature, hello mister all might sir, have a nice day too

All might: YOUNG BAKUGO PLEASE WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE 🤣 YOUNG KAMINARI, AS YOUNG YAOYOROZU SAID YOU HAVE LITERATURE AFTER MY CLASS📜 HAVE A BEAUTIFUL EVENING YOUNG YAOYOROZU🌷

• I'm sorry for this but.... Midoriya, Denki and Kirishima probably lick their finger after they absolutely drill it in their noses but here's the deal

Midoriya inspects what he fished out like thoroughly, Denki dissociates while staring at it, and Kirishima does so straight out of his nose

• Someone told Shoto that Saiki K is based on true events and he genuinely believes it and tries to find Saiki K, claiming that he is the answer to all of his problems. Is very subtle about it tho.

• I think that in part one of these atrocious head canons we established that Keigo would willingly put effort to find the clit, right? Listen he probably asks what's the concept of the clit, like why is it outside and not inside- wait you have another spot inside, yeah? He's is so confused and for what? Won't stop for it mid sex but he searches reproduction organ anatomy later on on google because he brought some questions in his brain that need answers. On the clit. You heard me right.

• Dabi looks like he once had a break up that was so rough that he opened a Twitter just to drag the other person down. For once, I won't go into detail and will let your imaginations run wild. 

• I have to do a a cursed one for Bakugo right? Well yeah uhm, he probably was caught flexing his muscles in the mirror during vacation, totally naked too, by one of his friends in his group and screamed in a high pitched voice and picked up that little hotel room fridge to cover himself up and chased them around the hotel room until he just crushed the poor item. To the floor? Because he tried to use it as a cover up and it just slipped... It's even worse if the friend was a potential s/o. He'll scream like one of the screaming/simping TikTok sounds.

• Bakugo also really hates chairs. Idk why I have this headcanon, but I know it in my heart that this man, as an adult, only has those round weird- ish IKEA stools around the kitchen table that's all. No more chairs. Nothing.

• this is too self indulgent but Kirishima and Deku look like the people who, while washing forks, spoons etc they create whole stories about them and treat them like characters, and others would just look at them so confused as to why it takes 16 minutes to wash off a spoon and why are they also crying but you wouldn't understand. This spoon is Cinderella. Back off and let. them. finish. their. stories.

• I feel like Jirou has phases where she only wants to wear black but then she sees a nice pair of jeans and buys it, and then buys some more and then she gets mad about having blue jeans and she dyes them, but then she grows out of that phase for a few months and she tries to find ways to make the fabric paint fade away

• I also think that she, after spending a little time with Momo, spends money on a lot of clothes, and it's not like Momo buys too many clothes, but Jirou always wants to upgrade her wardrobe and ends up feeling lost on what she wants to wear

• Denki and Kirishima turn into the same person a little more every single time they hang out together. You'll listen to Denki say 'manly' all the time and Kirishima starts trying to find leather jackets that look cool on him, and just adopts Dennis speaking habits.

[mominousrex]

The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Chapter 13: And Fives Is With Me

Summary: Rex and Fives have some catching up to do. Ahsoka encounters a familiar presence in the Force.

Warnings: None. (I know, right?!)

Click to READ on AO3

A/N: Canon disclaimer JUST GO WITH IT XD

LUV 2 ALL THE CREW IN THE SHEBBY DEBBIES DISCORD: THIRSTY GOOD GIRL HOURS ARE 24/7- Love you so much!

Chapter 13: And Fives Is With Me

Rex barely made it a few meters following "Fives" before he dug in his heels, refusing to take another step further.

Fives– or whoever (or whatever) was only a few paces ahead of him, continuing the trek. The figure had taken off their helmet, now holding it at their hip as all clone soldiers did out of habit. Rex heard him take a deep inhale and exhale out with an audible sigh before Fives's signature vocal tone boomed out,

"Stars! The air on this moon is incredible, Rex. This feels good. I miss that feeling when we could take our helmets off and actually breathe in the air of a new place. Eh, that is, before it all went to shit with blaster fire, blood and smoke, right?"

Fives didn't urge Rex for a response.

But Rex still wouldn't move. He was tired of looking at the perfect replica of the back of Fives's full head of jet black hair.

It was shaved when he died. He had taken his chip out and had a shaved head.

Truthfully, it could be the back of any clone's head. But that walk? That was Fives.

Fives had this walk that just oozed confidence, announcing that he was ready for any damn thing thrown at him with each strut. He always had his shoulders back, chest out, whether he wore his armor, blacks, or those damn starched civvie jumpers.

Fives's goateed chin always led as he walked, giving him a demeanor that was so approachable it was intimidating. Shinies felt special even if he barely said three words to them. And women? Forget it. Military-grade TUG tractor beams only equaled his unique magnetic charisma. Women were instantly drawn to his lively energy field of casual swagger.

It was something Rex had never felt around the opposite sex. Until here, on Splendor with Ahsoka. Rex was still dizzy from waking up with the lustful haze from making love to Ahsoka, now being quickly removed by this bizarre scenario. Was it too much to ask for one day of normalcy and rest?

He heaved out a sigh.

This is crazy. Or am I going crazy?

"Hey!" Rex shouted to his supposed brother, who stopped walking but didn't turn around.

As Rex was trying to puzzle out this non-response, he caught the slightest of movement.

Kriffing hell. I don't believe it.

Incredibly, it was the nervous tick that no other clone had. The thumb and pinky of Fives's right hand would continuously tap a drumming restlessness on the side of his thigh plate. Everyone would joke that Fives could both march in time and to the beat of his own drum.

And it was that tiny detail that finally made Rex confront the situation out loud,

"What in the galaxy is going on?! You're… You're—"

"Dead? Yes."

"What do you mean, 'yes'? Then how—"

"And no ."

"WHAT?! I—I don't understand? I saw you get shot! Commander Fox shot you right in the heart…in front of me. You died in my arms!"

Rex was about to start registering the painful memory again.

"And yet, Captain, here I am, in the flesh even," his face proud and hands out presenting as though he too was impressed, "This was unexpected, I know."

Fives allowed Rex a moment to try to wrap his brain around this strange event. But being Fives, he just couldn't resist,

"But...stranger things have happened on this moon, huh, Captain?" He gave a wink.

"What the—?! You can't be serious! This is some fucking Force trick. You are not really Fives and I am not going to play along with some head game that's going to use Fives's memory to fuck with me!"

Fives stood there pulling his gloves tighter and adjusting his gauntlets, "Are you done?"

Rex's eyes widened at the incredulous question.

Fives walked over to Rex with a playful, almost boyish taunt. He stood face to face with his clone Captain. Rex's quizzical look at Fives was twisted up in so many emotions, as he realized this was not a mystical spirit or ghost. Somehow, here on Splendor, Fives was flesh and blood made whole.

Fives then slowly lifted up his right arm to Rex's cuirass. Then shoved him— hard.

Stunned, Rex lost his footing as he flopped back on his skid plate, his helmet tossed to the ground. Astonished, he immediately got back to his feet and shoved Fives back.

"Haha! There's my Captain!"

"Don't you fucking dare! You are not Fives!"

Rex was karking spitfire mad with rage and grief. Anger was burning from his chest, radiating up and down to his extremities. His face was beet red while tears welled in his eyes with fury.

"You can't do this! You have no right!"

Rex tried again to shove him, but Fives easily dodged Rex's jump at him with a zig-zag sidestep.

"Fight it, Rex. C'mon, Cap! That's it. Get pissed!" Fives dropped his bucket to the ground

"Stop!"

"I tried to tell ya." Fives's right boot swiped around Rex's left calf, almost taking Rex out completely. But, Rex caught himself on his knee plate, back up on his feet in a flash, and repositioned a defensive stance.

Rex roared with unrestrained anger, "FUCK YOU!!!"

His boisterous voice echoed across the landscape. Rex's chest was heaving, his head pounding from the exertion of his emotional release still traveling the distance.

Fives closed his eyes and listened, appreciating the sound as it traveled.

The two of them silently registered the reminder of their dear brother— Echo.

Both men now knew that Echo was never actually dead. The 501st's silent trauma from thinking they lost him at The Citadel turned out to be worse than grief. Instead, they should have felt overwhelming guilt for leaving him behind still alive and suffering.

Echo's torturous imprisonment at the hands of the Techno Union had left his mind and body permanently scarred. And even though Rex risked everything to save him, he had to let Echo go...again. No longer the ARC Trooper he once was, Echo was changed forever. Still, saving Echo was one of the few victories Rex could actually be proud to have achieved.

Fives spoke carefully in a calm tone, "On Anaxes, you knew it was Echo. Even Cody doubted you, but you knew. Didn't you ever wonder how you were so sure or more importantly why you were sure that Echo was still alive?"

"I just figured...Are you saying...No, no, no, this isn't fair. You have no idea what we went through! What Echo went through!"

Fives relished in Rex's challenge. Oh, he was ready for a brotherly fight.

"Oh, I don't know?! Tell me, Rex, how I don't know what it's like to be deserted, by my brothers?"

"I was there, Fives! I did not desert you. You don't think I regretted giving you permission to stay with Tup on Kamino?! Not a single, fucking day went by when I wished I could go back and do things differently. You would have left with me and let them–"

"Let them what? What, Rex? Let them reprogram Tup? Or worse, let him die? Cap, if you think I would have actually listened to you—"

"Listened to me? Oh, Maker, forbid!"

Rex's fury came out in nasty biting sarcasm as he continued,

"How dare I, Captain Rex, expect the one and only cee tee fucking five five five five should listen to me? I was just the lowly captain of the whole damn 501st Legion?!! You'll have to forgive me, Fives. Yes, I regret the very moment that I—yes, me, Captain Rex— made the wrong choice and gave one of my best men, my closest brothers, clearance to go on a damned suicide mission."

Both men stared daggers into each other's eyes. These emotions were actually the agonizing love that could only be between what most people call…family.

"I should have ordered you to leave with me!"

Fives scoffed an incredulous laugh at Rex's predictable response. He made no effort to mask his disappointment in Rex's final declaration on the matter.

"Sometimes, Rex, honestly, I can't believe I looked up to you. You know what? Forget it. You aren't ready for this! If you're gonna pull that same 'good clone soldier' crap you always do, then there's no point to me even being here."

Rex would not accept such an insult. The blatant insubordination was too much—from anyone, whether it was some Force ghost or even a reanimated, undead Fives.

The boiling rage moved Rex to charge and lunge at Fives in response. The two soldiers tumbled down to wrestle; their colliding plastoid armor pieces clacked and clashed as both scraped for the upper hand over the other. Rex bared his teeth with each forceful reach, then shouted and spat out every painful conviction,

"Not ready for what, Fives, huh? Tell me, smart ass! You cocky, mouthy bantha-fucker! Grrrrrrr—"

Rex used his whole torso to dig his head into the weak point under Fives's armpit. The maneuver caused Fives to wince aloud in pain at the stabbing pressure being applied to his pectoral muscle. Rex was limiting the reach of Fives's bicep as he tried to grab at Rex from behind.

"Tell me, Fives, you little shit! Running your mouth again, huh? You have no idea what I have been through! After Umbara, losing Ahsoka, then Tup and you? Then how we found Echo. And now?! Now, I've lost everyone. Everyone, Fives!" Rex spat out the combination of sweat and saliva that had built up with his shouting and complete focus on maintaining his dominant hold over Fives.

Rex was now shoving Fives's face down into the dirt to get the dulled arm in a hammerlock behind his back. Both men were now snarling out their breaths as Fives fought against Rex's strength to search for an opening. Rex's voice strained as he continued,

"I…would search…the galaxy and back…tenfold…if I— ARGGHHHH!…if I could...hmph...bring…GAHH!…any of my brothers back!"

Fives feigned a moment of surrender, and then he laughed maniacally as he pounced on Rex's slightest readjustment and release. Fives quickly wrapped his left leg around Rex's thigh, attempting to start a flip and spin for a reverse half-shoulder hold on Rex. But Rex anticipated the move and just applied more pressure to his grip on Fives (now completely) numb shoulder and crunched neck as the adrenaline raged Rex's continued fury,

"How dare you tell me I'm not ready for whatever the fuck ‘this' is , or will be! After everything I have been through, everything I have lived through?! What in this damned galaxy could I not handle?"

Rex's body was worn out from fighting one of the smartest, toughest damn troopers he's ever known. He released Fives with a huff and sat back on his haunches. Fives pulled himself up to his knees, heaving with breath. He swung his arm in circles to soothe his rotator cuff as he plopped back down on his skid plate and stretched his legs out before pulling his knees up to rest his arms on his knee plates.

"I can't Fives. I can't fight you, whether you are him or…aw fuck, I don't know anymore."

"So you do see that it's me?"

"I don't know what you are. You sure as hell fight like Fives."

"Ha!" Fives snickered in response.

Rex yowled into the air at his physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Letting himself catch his breath, he confessed, "I don't know what's happening. Fuck! Every day here has been like some dream, then a nightmare that then turns into a dream. How is this harder than fighting a damn war?"

"Because you are becoming your own man, Rex. I'm never gone as long as you see yourself as a free man. You can't pull that perfect soldier routine anymore. You're a rebel now." Fives stood up and reached out his hand for Rex to safety-grip his wrist, "And you know what that means?"

"What?"

Rex accepted Fives hand and the two locked their grips around the other's wrists as Fives pulled Rex up to face him. Fives placed his hand on Rex's shoulder plate.

"It means you'll do what is best and right because you know it is. You'll question authority, doubt their bluffs, and know that you can always outsmart them."

Rex would have been horrified and insulted by the label 'rebel' at any other time in his life. But now? He was sure he just couldn't live up to the description.

"That was always you, Fives. I was never the rebellious type."

Fives gave him a smirk.

"Hmm…interesting. Yet here she is, with you, on this moon. She's in love with you too…and you with her. Guess you only rebel when it comes to uh…love?"

Rex had no idea how to respond to this. Fives was right. Again.

"I'm…," Rex felt the hesitation creep up. He was facing one of his brothers who knew about his and Ahsoka's relationship. Of all of his brothers, Fives knew. Fuck.

Rex wasn't sure what came over him, but he started to laugh. He genuinely began to laugh because he absolutely didn't give a shit what anyone thought, even Fives.

"Ahsoka and I��� I'm not going to deny what I feel, Fives."

"Good."

"It is. It's better than good, it's the best feeling I've ever had in my life."

"Oh, I bet ."

"Don't fucking start, Fives. I'm not talking about that with you."

"Really, Rex? You're telling me that fu—

"Watch it, brother!" Rex stepped to Fives

"Excuse me…uh, having sex with Ahsoka—

"It's more than sex, Fives."

"Kriffing stars, Rex will you lighten up?"

"Not about this, no. It's Ahsoka, Fives. She's not just some quick fuck in the back of 79's. She's…."

For some reason, the lagoon came to Rex's mind.

A warmth settled in his chest as he recalled how jittery and nervous he was to touch Ahsoka then. The terrifyingly wonderful rush of kissing her neck while suspended in the air combined with the sound of her surrender to affection.

"She's everything to you now."

"Yeah. She really is."

"You going to admit I was right? You never did apologize, Rex."

"What you said was out of line. Then and now."

"And what was it I said, again? Remind me."

"Oh this again? You know what you said that night. As usual, too kriffing much."

That night. That stupid, wasted, drunken night.

The same week Ahsoka left, Rex went out with the boys to 79's and sat there like a drunken fool. The memory stung differently now. He no longer felt like less than a man for not participating in the hedonistic orgy. He wasn't made of stone. But now facing Fives, Rex shuddered at the thought of what happened on the way to 79's...

As they all left the barracks, Fives pulled Rex aside to walk a bit behind the others,

"Captain, sir, I know you don't want to go out with us. But you should do yourself a favor and let one of these Shebbies finally fuck you. Maker, those gals have been dying to fuck the one and only Captain Rex!"

He gave Rex a slap on the back before throwing his arm around Rex's shoulder.

"If this is supposed to be a pep talk, you are failing miserably, Fives."

"Come on! Do you know how many times we are asked," Fives squeaked up his voice to a high pitch and batted his eyelashes, 'Where's the Captain, tonight?' or 'Is Captain Rex taken or what?' Haha. Or what is right!" Fives belly laughed as he shoved and released Rex from his hold.

"I highly doubt that, Fives. Am I taken? Why would they even ask that?" And what do you mean or what, huh?"

"Because…"

Rex looked at Fives blankly, having no idea what he was implying. Fives stopped walking. Rex stopped in turn.

"Captain, I'm serious. She's gone now. I know it's gotta hurt. She was the only female you've ever really cared about."

"What? You mean, Commander Tano? We all will miss—"

"Sir, respectfully, I'm talking to you, one man to another. You don't have to admit it out loud, but come on, Rex. I know."

Rex laughed off the serious tone in Fives's voice.

"Know what?"

Fives snickered out his bafflement that had just a hint of pity hanging in the air.

"Fives, if you're implying that I have feelings for Commander Tano in that way…."

"You're telling me that you don't care, it doesn't hurt that you may never see her again?"

"She's our Commander?!" Rex was starting to turn red in the face. Fives wasn't sure if it was anger or embarrassment.

"Come on, Rex! You mean to tell me that all that time you two have spent together, sitting next to each other every flight, every briefing, working extra hours on field reports, covering Skywalker's ass, guarding her tent on missions, every night we went out you two stayed in for—"

"All of those things I did as her captain! Look, the 501st has, fuck! We had one of the most talented and dedicated Jedi Commanders in the GAR. I never saw her as…as…."

"A beautiful, wickedly smart, kind, and powerful Togrutan Jedi whose body needed to grow up as fast as ours did, so you could finally kiss her one day?"

Yup. Rex still remembered what Fives had said that night…and not one trooper in the 501st failed to notice Rex's response that stuck around on Fives's face the following week.

"Look, Fives. I am sorry I punched you that night. Though, you were out of line. But yes, I... I could've handled my response better."

"Worth it."

Rex laughed.

Fives grinned, "Well, it was. And...I was right."

"That mouth of yours. Kriffing unbelievable. Damnit, Fives. I told you it would get you killed. Are you going to at least admit that I was right?"

"Again. Worth it."

Fives grinned at his brother with pride and said no more. For someone like Fives, silence carried significance. This was Fives's unspoken declaration of pride and honor. He stood there silently, grinning at Rex. Fives knew that even though the circumstances of his death were tragic, had he not uncovered the truth of the inhibitor chips, Palpatine's true identity, and the plan for Order 66, he would've been just another pawn in the greatest deception against the Jedi and The (now fallen) Republic.

Rex stepped to his brother and hugged him. He held Fives so tightly his own armor was digging into his skin. But Rex let the pain of the armor do its worst as he took a deep breath and confessed,

"Thank you, Fives. I'm sorry. And you were right, brother."

Muffled in their armored embrace, Fives responded,

"I'm still waiting for you to admit making love to Ahsoka is the best kriffing feeling you've ever had."

Rex grunted, then pulled away from their embrace. He was blushing, but he was also grinning. It was the cheekiest grin Fives ever saw on Rex's face.

"Come onnnn, Cap! You can tell a brother."

"Oh, not just any broth— Oh no, brother?!"

Kriff! Rex had forgotten entirely.

"I was supposed to check in with Cut!"

__________________________________________________________

Ahsoka trekked the crumbling path that was lined with buried and broken columns. It was headed in a direction that would go much deeper into the cloud forest. She assessed that the heavy lower and upper canopies of massive trees could tangle up any clear path, so she paid attention to the patterns above made by the branches and foliage. There seemed to be hundreds of shades of green in this forest. This only made the forgotten detritus of demolished stone stand out worse. Life had moved on and taken over the untamed area that once was a hallowed, sacred space.

She could not help but think of the grand structure of the Jedi Temple. Growing up inside the temple walls, she had always believed the Jedi Order's high prestige was known and respected throughout the galaxy. But her months in the lower levels of Coruscant saw no such greatness or protection. The rest of the capital city was stifled beneath the weight and bloated distinction of Coruscant's upper levels. An obvious ruling class that was physically burying the rest of the city's population beneath them. And there at the very top level was where the "guardians of peace and justice" made their home.

The city's central landmark had a majesty that presided over the people of the capital city as a symbol of what? Was it to glorify their ability to protect others, or was it self-glorification?

In the months after she left the Order, Ahsoka would often wonder if the Jedi ever considered the real difference they could've made had they chosen to build their temple in the bottom levels of the city instead.

But none of that mattered now, though.

Ahsoka began to recall through a series of emotions and images the memories of the grand hallways, the quiet of the Jedi Archives, the lights of the training rooms, the comfort of the living quarters, and the powerful energy of the Jedi council room. All of these would one day be a ruin, buried in layers of time and forgotten.

I need to find out who survived.

Ahsoka hoped she could find answers if anyone else survived Order 66? Knowing that so many others fell, who would train the younglings now?

The younglings!

Ahsoka collapsed under the weight of grief, anger, and agony. Her connection to the Force was crawling under her skin, stinging with pain throughout her whole body.

No. This can't be…

Tears fell without shame from her eyes as she rooted her feet back to the ground to rise back up. With concentrated breath and gritted teeth, she slowly built up her spine one vertebrae at a time as she fought the weight of darkness and a sense of horror.

Innocent lives. They were just children and had done nothing wrong.

Vengeance will not bring them back.

Still, the rage brewing in her was instant. Ahsoka felt the shudder in her neck and shoulders as her jaw clenched. Lips curled in; she wanted to scream, spit out fire, and roar at the whole damn galaxy when she imagined what monster would commit such an unfathomable act of violence.

She wanted to do all those things. Instead, she let it horrify her but not consume her. Again, there was a darkness similar to a bottomless cavern of pain that had clouded her when they first arrived on Splendor. Her connection to the Force was a lifeline that she clung to as the grim shadow invaded her thoughts.

Ahsoka's body was trembling from being so locked up; her muscles flexed with tension. She was still registering the anger and disgust, calling for swift retaliation. She concentrated her focus and stared at a patch of grass that was struggling to sprout through the dirt.

Life. Hope.

Fixated on this one spot, she stayed grounded in her place at the moment.

"Darkness cannot guide my path. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me."

Rex.

She softened at the thought of him. A slight grin formed thinking of last night, his handsome face cradled in her lap as she watched his lips move when he spoke. She thought of how his eyes glowed when he smiled at her now. She closed her eyes and recalled the warmth of his voice when he was close to her skin just before kissing her neck. She wasn't sure if it was a feeling of comfort or safety, but it was calming. Rex was more than just her first love, closest friend, and warrior bound. Now he would always be a beacon that could to guide her back to the moment she fought her last fight in the war for the Republic…and was victorious. As long as the two of them lived, this evil that had murdered so many could never truly claim victory.

She knew leaving Rex behind this morning was what she had to do, but she missed his grounding presence right now. Still, Rex would be furious if he knew about the slaughter at the Jedi Temple. His clone instinct to protect the innocent and vulnerable would have him halfway to battle mode, and she would be the one telling him to stand down for a moment.

"Who did it? Who ordered the younglings to be killed?"

"One who controls the galaxy now."

The voice that answered was masculine, older, distant, yet serene. This spirit is here with her or around her, somewhere. She felt his presence in the Force. Morai circled above, but the man's voice was near. There was a familiarity with his Force presence. One she doesn't remember, but she knows him.

"This murderer? This is the work of Darth Sidious?"

"His apprentice, but yes, by his orders."

"They must be stopped."

"And how will this be acheived? More battles, more war. Isn't that what the Jedi were trying to do all these years? Not much to show for our efforts."

"Our? Then…you are a Jedi?"

"In my mortal life, I was, yes. Now I am just one with the Force. One of many Jedi who have left their mortal bodies. Now they are Jedis in memory only. For as long as anyone will remember if they do at all."

"I remember. I will not forget. I— I want to seek vengeance, but I–"

Ahsoka's emotions were simmering underneath her skin as a singe of heat caused her teeth to clench. She looked out to scope around her and distract her from the painful sensation. She noticed the top of a ruined pediment edging out of the ground. Once the smooth and shaped marble cornice slabs had met at a perfect point, now they were off-center, one side bearing the weight of the other that was crushed and buried into earth and loam.

"You know vengeance is not the way. Balance, Ahsoka. As you have found here. And you have found it here. You opened your heart to love with Rex when tragedy and grief could have consumed you."

The petty embarrassment of how much this spirit knew took her by surprise for a moment. That is until she registered what was just said and the lack of judgment in the man's tone.

"Balance? I certainly do not feel any balance since this massacre of my…," she stopped herself.

"You can say it, your people. Your family. You grew up at the Jedi Temple, Ahsoka. Leaving one place does not erase who you were in the past, you bring it with you in the present, for better or for worse."

"Who are you? Why do you feel so familiar to me?"

"Our connection exists here and now because your presence here has increased your powers, Ahsoka Tano. As a Jedi, I sought out past the acceptable boundaries of the Order. There was always more truth and more knowledge. A Jedi was to have no fear, and yet, the forbidden is only deemed so out of fear. You are now able to commune with me in the Force because of the power here. As you may have realized this place is not simply a moon."

"The Force is very powerful here. It…it reminds me of…."

"Mortis? I was there, with all of you. Obi-Wan and Anakin, they never spoke of your time there again, did they?"

Ahsoka felt as though she was dusting off a lost sentimental treasure from her mind. It was a memory placed in some mental vault for safekeeping but then lost to the frantic day-to-day demands of the war. Recalling it now, she considered all that she, Anakin, and Obi-Wan experienced on Mortis. The significance was lost at the time.

"No. We never spoke of it. Not even to the Council. It's as though…we just dismissed that it ever happened. And I—"

Morai's flight circling above her caught Ahsoka's attention.

"Morai, she was…the Daughter."

The bird gracefully swooped down and took its place on Ahsoka's vambrace.

"You gave your life for me. I'm trying to remember…The Father, The Daughter, and The Son. It all seemed so significant when we were there, but it was as though it never happened once we left," she said.

Qui-Gon responded, "When memories are forgotten, did the experience even happen?"

Ahsoka was familiar with this type of questioning. The contemplative nature of a Jedi was the result of deep philosophical training. Wisdom and compassion for others within a small community are simple and accessible. But to have the same consideration and openness for an entire planet? That was much more challenging.

Whereas Jedi were expected to practice compassion for all living things in an entire galaxy —while also wielding the power of the Force. Jedi needed to expand their perceptions and opinions beyond the narrow scope of their own personal understanding. The individual is limited. Jedi were trained to accept that they were part of something greater.

Once, she was part of something greater, too…until she wasn't anymore. The thought of this never quite settled in her heart right. It was as though some emotional limp from a painful injury healed wrong. She accepted she would live with the invisible scar forever.

"I remember you little one. Master Plo once told me his heart grew tenfold the day he sensed you, Ahsoka. The power in you had a strength and light that was unlike any he had felt. Your sense of good and bravery was so uplifting, he wondered if I had not made a mistake in my conviction for the youngling I had found."

Ahsoka still could not puzzle out who this was. She was done with this bizarre encounter attempting to bring up her past as though it had any idea what she had been through these last few days or even this last year.

"What do you want from me?! I'm here, aren't I?"

"No, you are not here! You were drifting back to your days as a Jedi padawan. We can talk about the Order, your training, your determination to prove yourself over and over again. What good would that do? It is gone now. Would you like to waste precious time reminiscing over days past? Is that what you have become since leaving the Order?

"No. That's not fair. My entire life was devoted to the Jedi Order. I was...," Ahsoka could not stop the hurt that always stung in her chest when she thought of Bariss's betrayal by framing her. But even more hurtful were the actions of the Jedi Council, believing Ahsoka was capable of the Temple bombing.

"Thinking of the past will always leave you falling behind. Where you are now is all that matters."

"To prepare for what is ahead?"

"Wrong again. A future that has not happened. How does one prepare for that?"

Ahsoka reached out to touch one large piece of a broken column. Its once smooth, sturdy stone had stood at an unknown height but now lay in shattered rubble. Its base was strangled in the ground at a falling angle.

The man's voice continued,

"You see what is broken before you. Do you waste time staring at these ruins wondering how or why they got this way? You could. You could do that. Or…you can try to put it back together."

Eyeing the pieces like a puzzle for a moment, Ahsoka assessed the difficulty. She closed her eyes, reached out her hands to allow the energy of the Force to work through her, and lifted all the pieces to hover. Next, she drew in the expanding breath that allowed her body to release an exhaling breath of elevated power. This is when the Force manifests from her as its conduit. As the scattered rubble swirled in a guided dance, the pieces began to pull together to their original columned form. Some pieces were large and jagged around the edges, some as tiny as a pebble. When she attempted to reassemble the pieces, her mind began to play flashes of scenes, unfamiliar to her but familiar to…

"Qui-Gon Jinn? You are Master Qui-Gon Jinn. You were…Obi-Wan's Master, the one who found Anakin. I-I barely remember you."

"I am. Yes, you were quite young. And, yes, I was a Master, but now of none, of nothing."

She sensed his presence grow stronger. She wanted to open her eyes to see him, but she would lose the focus needed to hold the broken pieces together.

"You are rebuilding a ruin. What will hold it all together?'

"The Force…"

"Hmmm…not without you. It won't stay together."

"But you were the one who said I could put it back together?!"

"Your mind is clouded, young one. The lesson is in the learning. What is there to learn from studying ruins or attempting to rebuild what cannot exist again?"

Ahsoka was so close to completing the column ruin. She wanted to finish this one task just to feel like she was still...capable. Always trying to prove herself, but to whom now? A ghost of someone she barely knew? There was no Anakin, Obi-Wan, Master Windu, or the rest of the Council.

She reluctantly recalled her weeks alone in the lower levels of Coruscant, sitting without any purpose.

She knew Qui-Gon was right. Once she had each piece together, what would keep it all there? She had to choose. Does she stubbornly stay there and hold the assembled column in place for the satisfaction of putting it back together? It's not like she could stay there holding this one column's thousands of pieces in place? But if she let go, it would all fall apart and crumble again. Her efforts would be a waste.

She accepted and admitted to the Force spirit, "I must let go."

"Yes. When you understand your choice, you know you are making the right one. As you enter the Temple of The Mother, be wise not to dwell on what happened before. Ask yourself, why are you here now? "

Ahsoka let her connection to the Force subside. The tiny twist of defeat she knew too well irked her as she realized she was still trying to convince the ghosts of her past that their doubt in her innocence was a betrayal that hurt her deeply. But her need for their approval was hurt much worse.

His spirit stood tall over her when she opened her eyes, a hazy form of stardust and light. She suddenly remembered when she met Master Jinn so long ago; she thought he was the tallest human alive. Now in some strange spirit form, she studied his face, robes, energy, and presence in the Force.

"You must begin your training today. Morai will guide you to The Mother."

"The Mother."

Ahsoka still had no notion of who or what was The Mother. She looked over into the midst of the wild forest. The massive trunks of kapoks, banyans, and palms appeared woven together to form some kind of an arboreal gate.

"I see no entrance to a temple at all. Forgive me, Master Jinn, but we just went through this. I cannot rebuild something that is lost."

"No, you can't. But, as you said, you can see what is before you. Look ahead, begin your own path."

Ahsoka closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment. Exhaling out, she opened her eyes and moved to take a step but thought again. It was no hesitation; instead, a sense of farewell and gratitude filled her heart. She looked over where Qui-Gon had stood, and he was gone.

"May the Force be with you, Ahsoka Tano," his voice then disappeared with the wind.

She felt a subtle warm breeze brush against her skin. Then it was gone.

"Thank you, Master Jinn. May the Force…be with you, always."

Ahsoka then took her first step on the unseen path further into the forest. She was determined not to falter in her actions.

The ground began to tremble as she walked. A thunderous rumbling underneath the ground caused Ahsoka to brace her stance. Unphased, maybe more determined, she continued, adjusting her gait as she moved in tandem with the crunching wave-like shifting of ground that would split and reset. It was as though something was waking up, but she sensed no other living beings of any kind.

The vines and dirt that had covered the shattered ruins of columns began to snap and crumble; a new pathway was being outlined directing the now elevated path into the cloud forest. Ahsoka observed the transformation as she leaped when suddenly, the columns rose up fully reassembled and erected once again. This time, it was not Ahsoka holding any of this together. The Force was demonstrating its impressive power, her own seeming small in comparison.

Up ahead, she saw the branches and leaves of the trees shake mightily as it was clear something was uprooting itself from below to rise out of its hidden natural tomb. In her vision, she saw two large White Wroshyr trees grow out of the ground to an impossible height in a matter of seconds. Ahsoka and any padawan of the Jedi Order had studied the archives of the mystical gem bearing majestic trees.

She remembered learning how they had long been extinct. The last one on Kashyyyk was said to have provided the last known precious meriyx gemstone over a millennia ago. Yet here on Splendor, two of these sacred trees stood guard on either side of a small humble stone square structure flanked on either side by the two trees and massive moss-covered boulders. The newly revealed path of mismatched stepping stones had also broken through the surface, snapping roots and knocking over some of the gigantic trees.

The building had some sort of small entrance. As Ahsoka got closer, she deduced that this was not the temple. This was just the entrance.

She finally padded her swift feet to face the small darkened entrance. There was no door, no markings, or symbols. Nothing gave her any indication of what was inside, but she braved every step anyway.

She had let the Force guide her on her own path, and now she stood at the precipice.

Morai swooped down and flew past her, disappearing into the darkened entrance.

And as Ahsoka took a step inside the temple's dark and seemingly empty entrance, she smiled and thought of Rex.

He's okay. He's not alone.

"I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me."