#disasterbi's 365

[disasterbiwriter]

Under the wire!

Is she a girl? An unparalleled force and an unknowable mystery?! An incredible dancer? A... shark??

She's all of that. She's everything. She's tender and loving and absolutely done with pretense and has no compunctions about dying for you and going down swinging.

She's Nimona.

[disasterbiwriter]

Welcome to our "weird lonely girl in the 90s" entry!

Who among us didn't imagine herself as Mary Lennox, sad and furious and misunderstood?

Only to find healing in flowers and growth and a sad boy becoming your best friend?!

Movie of all time.

[disasterbiwriter]

Luke Danes, step up to the mic.

I'm sorry, I was going to ask you for a Luke rant, but a compilation of your dreamiest moments will suffice.

Lorelai speaks for all of us.

Is it weird I just want him to be terse with me??

Sorry, can't string together a coherent thought.

Luke Danes forever.

[disasterbiwriter]

Welcome to Abbott Elementary, another show where at least 90% of the characters are almost certainly going to show up on my list. They're all just that good.

But for now we're talking about the most stubborn, hilarious, wise one of them all..

I'm finally getting to the age where I no longer think of myself as the neophyte trying to figure things out and find myself. So I gravitate more towards characters who have been around and gotten a little jaded, but never cynical.

I love that Barbara has the grace to know that even in a job and a life you love, you don't only get one side of the ledger. You're going to get frustrated and tired, but you're going to find joy too.

Doesn't mean you might not snap a few times on the way, though.

[disasterbiwriter]

What's that? I'm getting on an airplane today and using every tool I possess not to collapse in an anxiety attack??

We've got a blorbo for that.

What a mood. What an icon.

What an absolute snack.

I can't even use a gif from this scene without choking up.

Chidi Anagonye. Brilliant, compassionate, giving, conflicted, brave. A perfect man in any timeline.

[disasterbiwriter]

Thanks to both my high school boyfriend and my husband, I have seen the entire movie catalog of Lord of the Rings about, oh, 12 times. And with every viewing, my favorite has never changed.

Éowyn, shieldmaiden. Éowyn, warrior. Powerful, vulnerable, compassionate, furious, grieving. The eternal queer question: do I want to kiss her, or be her?

Turns out it's both.

Her arc is so wonderful, but then you add in my personal kryptonite with the death of Théoden, her father figure, and I'm a goner.

[disasterbiwriter]

Today's character will steal a tank just to keep your landlord from selling your flat!

Nick Frost is a criminally underrated actor, and even now, coming on 25 years later, if you told me they were doing a Spaced spinoff with Mike I would drop everything to watch it.

Young'uns, listen to this guidance from your elders and dive into Spaced if you haven't already.

[disasterbiwriter]

Summer's winding down, so we must acknowledge The Summer Movie of a generation.

Did my sister and I watch this movie 740 times throughout our childhood?

Did empathetic, emotional Samantha growing up to be a writer - and also a smoking hot queer Demi Moore - wire my brain in an irreversible way?

Platonic love, girlhood, seances, Devon Sawa... Fellow 90s girls, what else could you possibly need in a movie?

[disasterbiwriter]

Guys I'm not even going to try to give you a character analysis. This is just being horny on main.

Mr. Eddie, I do declare.

No words. Just hotness.

Whew.

ANYWAY AS YOU WERE.

[disasterbiwriter]

Still enjoying my 90s girl moments. Who needs another badass lady to kick off their day?

You do. Don't deny it.

Behold: Dr. Ellie Sattler.

Hi, I'm sorry, but maybe get your pulse checked if you're not instantly in love with her?

Not only is my girl a damn genius, analyzing triceratops shit and saving the day, but she pulled Dr. Grant AND Ian Malcolm??? And she's funny too??? We don't stand a chance.

[disasterbiwriter]

"We need more complicated female characters," y'all can't even handle Miranda Bailey.

And if you can't handle her, you don't fucking deserve her.

This brilliant teacher. This huge-hearted warrior.

(Please excuse this horny interruption, but I gotta do me.)

Bless you, Grey's writers, for giving her Ben, who worships her exactly as he should. The rest of you could learn a thing or two from Ben Warren.

The true beating heart of Grey's Anatomy, forever and always.

GOOSEBUMPS, BABY.

[disasterbiwriter]

Oh Marceliiiiiiiine! Why are you so meannnnnn?

I'm sorry, were you referring to THIS precious baby??

This total goofster?

This walking daddy-issue/mother wound??

ONE HALF OF THE MOST SATISFYING FRIENDS TO LOVERS TO ENEMIES TO RIVALS TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS STORY EVER TOLD????

Okay, yes, she's all of those things AND a half demon vampire queen. Plus my dream girl. So I think it evens out.

[disasterbiwriter]

Oh man. Do I have the sheer strength of WILL to do this for a whole dang year?? Let's find out together, friends.

Y'all know where the Blorbo Olympics will - nay, must - start.

I love this ridiculous little skronklet. All I need in my fictional sons is snark, undiagnosed mental illness, and deep-seeded trauma - and this kid's got it all.

[disasterbiwriter]

Maybe it's because we're within spitting distance of fall, but I've had Over the Garden Wall brainrot for the last few weeks.

This is another series of characters that all deserve, and will likely get, their own posts in this series. But we gotta start with Wirt.

He's just some guy, you know?

He loves his brother (in theory!) He's the Pilgrim (in practice!)

Talk about amazing loser energy. I would follow this holy mess to the ends of the earth.

[disasterbiwriter]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION TIME.

Sayid Jarrah is the perfect man.

He PINES.

He will TORTURE PEOPLE FOR YOU. But he will feel REAL BAD ABOUT IT.

He will also relay DEVASTATING MATH-BASED REALIZATIONS to you.

Why they took this amazing, complex character and decided to use him to humanize SHANNON OF ALL BLESSED PEOPLE???? I will never understand NOR FORGIVE.

[disasterbiwriter]

All right, look. I know ACAB.

BUT.

*Doug Judy voice* Rosaaaaaa. Rosa Rosa Rosa Rosaaaa. Are you single yet?

Do I ugly-cry every time I watch Rosa's coming out episode? DO YOU NOT??