#did i figure out how to make sure my setup WON'T fall? no

[beeqisch]

con prep but its just me sitting in my room thinking "AHHHHHH THIS WEEKEND" every 2 hours

[sociopathicartist]

This was 100% indulgent by me and not requested (which is why it came out off schedule lol). I know I usually write for classic Sans, but along with Horrortale, Dreamtale is and always has been one of my favorite AUs, so I wanted to write something for Nightmare. Hope you guys enjoy this unexpected work :3

DREAMTALE - Nightmare Romantic Headcanons (indulgent with you as his lover)

Dreamtale is an extremely complex story with extremely complex characters that I have been figuring out for the past several years, trying to get my hands on the most canonical information about Dream and Nightmare and the story itself, especially with how muddled their characters have become within the fandom. If you like the stories where Nightmare is soft and cooing and Dream is a bully and is toxic, then this probably won't be an enjoyable read, but as all of my followers know, I always try my best to stick to how the characters canonically act. I could ramble on and on about this AU in particular and about how misunderstood both Dream and Nightmare are, but that’s something I’d only do if my opinions on it were requested since it would be an extremely long ramble.

The background for these headcanons can be whatever you wish, but just know that behind these it’s implied that you’re being forced to stay with Nightmare (you’re a bit silly like me if you’d ever willingly stay with him.)

DATES / ROMANCE

- While I do love the romantic aspects that Nightmare himself can be implied to have, I mean the setup is perfect for romance (beautiful dark castle, dark, brooding character, etc), I just don’t see him wasting his time being romantic.

- The exception is that he is a manipulator, and will do/say things that don’t seem in character at all for him so that he can win you over and make you believe that somewhere in there he is good and that he can change (it’s never gonna happen, baby), but I don’t see him doing these things without ulterior motives.

- Maybe he’s noticed that you don’t seem to be as keen on him as you usually would be, that his unloving and harsh personality is beginning to take a toll on you and you’re no longer seeking him out as much as you used to, so what better to do than make you think that he, you know, cares?

- Anytime he takes you out on a date to cozy you back up to his side and make you think he cares about you, it’s always with the intention of keeping you on the borderline of hating him and being obsessed with wanting his affection and love.

- Now, that doesn’t mean that the dates aren’t romantic or that they’re horrible dates. Just because I don’t think he’s romantic himself (he’s too selfish IMO) doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know how to do romantic things. After all, if the dates he took you on sucked then you probably wouldn’t fall for him again like you always do.

- Sometimes when he’s hurt your feelings after he threw something at you, or you both got into an argument (good luck), he’ll do something easier, something lower effort to get you out of your bedroom and stop ignoring him and his servants like you have for the past several hours.

- Coffee shops are something he’s learned you like, and of course, there are selfish reasons to it, because he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t love coffee. Cafes and Library dates are almost always his go-to whenever you’re so upset with him that you shut him out completely and lock yourself away in your room. While he doesn’t enjoy said dates very much (he’s fonder of reading new books and coffee, that’s it), he has to do them so that you’ll finally warm up to him again. How else can he keep tearing you down if you’re just always at your lowest? It would make you emotionally numb at some point.

- He did take you to FluffyTale once to where CCINO Sans works (you had no clue what was going on, and when you saw the look on CCINO’s face when he saw Nightmare, you knew it was nothing good). Why he did do that? Not sure. But it happened.

- For more extreme cases where he’s hurt you in a flash of anger (surprisingly he doesn’t do that too much to you, he may be annoyed 24/7 and may be a bitch but he does have good control over his emotions and the backlash for hurting you physically isn’t worth it with the recovery in his opinion), he does more caring things to get you to believe that he’s finally changed, even if just a bit, and that it’s not going to happen again.

- Of course, he doesn’t tell you that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t tell you that he won’t hurt you again. Nightmare never lies, only conceals the truth (canon btw), so you won’t hear mele promises from him. It’s exactly why he has to put more effort into actions sometimes.

- In the extreme case where he has physically hurt you, whether he slammed you against a wall or knocked you down to the ground, he does give you time to gather yourself in your room until you’re ready to come out, unlike how he pesters you when you both just argue. Not only does letting you waller in your self-pity for hours benefit him and his love for feeding off of your negative emotions, but it does give you time to think and calm down, which he needs you to do for him to be able to worm his way back into your mind.

- After being locked away for hours and examining any bruises you got from him when you’re finally ready to come out and find him, he’s gotten you roses (one of the only flowers he doesn’t hate, it matches the aesthetic with his castle.) and has set up a nice dinner with your favorite food, letting you indulge in the rarer evenings that are so nice that they almost let you forget about all of the tears you cried and all of the lingering pain he put you through.

SLOW DAYS

- Nightmare is someone extremely difficult to just relax with and bond with.

- HOWEVER

- His canon personality is not all ‘grrr i hate you grr im gonna beat the shit out of you and kill everyone you love’ because while he does have his moments, don’t think I’m saying he doesn’t, he just isn’t horrible 100% of the time.

- We know for a fact (sourced by Q&A’s and comics from JOKU) that Nightmare does have indulgent hobbies that PassiveNightmare used to have, like how he reads sometimes, and just also sourced from the same things, he isn’t angry a lot of the time. Or… He doesn’t show it. He’s manipulative, he’s extremely smart, and while he is annoyed almost all of the time, it’s not beneficial to his manipulative behaviors to show that 24/7.

- Plus, just because he’s annoyed doesn’t mean the man can’t sit there and relax with a good-ass book and some coffee.

- For whatever reason he’s keeping you locked up in the castle with him (I’m basing the reason off my a03 book with Nightmare, solely because I don't see why else he would bother keeping someone), as long as you don’t sit there and purposefully annoy him as Killer does, he doesn’t care if you want to sit in the same room as him.

- He’s described in books as busy all the time, and granted, I do love love love the idea of Nightmare being all hot doing paperwork at his desk and shit like that, but it just doesn’t make much sense to me. Like… He spreads negativity throughout universes and RARELY ever kills people, is he having to do paperwork over their hurt feelings or something?? This is no diss to those books because I love the concept of it and mmmmmm do I love an overworked Nightmare, but the idea when put into logical retrospect just doesn’t make much sense in my opinion.

- Therefore, since he’s literally been lounging around doing god knows what for 500+ years, I can see him having some boring and uneventful days in the castle.

- Since now you’re in the castle with him, it’s a bit easier to help pass the time with his ‘lover’ (he hates that word since he doesn’t and CANT love and hates any boyfriend/girlfriend label, it makes him feel too humane and in touch).

- You might just wake up and look for him after being served breakfast in your room like always, finding out that he’s in the castle today from one of his servants, and it’s always a straight shot guess of where he is.

- He doesn’t spend too much time in his bedroom. It’s a place that he only associates with sleep and changing clothes, and since he doesn’t need sleep to live, he just never really goes in there. You most likely won’t find him lurking in his bedroom at all.

- But the next best place where you can always find him is in his study or the library. Whenever he has the free time, you can’t recall seeing him without some sort of book in his hand. Sometimes he breaks free of the old habit and decides to write or drink some coffee while watching the rain pour down outside through his study window, but that isn’t as often.

- Surprisingly, he doesn’t typically turn down your company. Perhaps it’s for his selfish entertainment, or maybe he just finds you intriguing to talk to (I’d hope he did after going through the effort to kidnap you and keep you kidnapped), but if he notices you strolling into his study, still in your pajamas and sleepy from just waking up, he simply just has one of the servants outside the study room bring you some coffee or tea to drink while you sit down next to him to see what he’s reading.

BONDING / CONVERSATIONS

- In no means am I saying that Nightmare isn’t abusive, he is and would be in any sort of relationship (we see this firsthand with him and Ccino sans.), but he’s not too estranged to just conversate with.

- Usually, lazy days when he’s just staying in the castle and isn’t in a completely horrible and stressed mood are the days where you can talk with him best, like normal people.

- Sometimes he’ll tell you about the book he’s reading, and go into a long explanation about the entire story and plot without any pauses or breaks, just talking mindlessly to pass the time.

- Other times he tells you about the missions he’s planning on doing or has done, which he only tells you about because unless you’re on a date together, you never leave the castle. And even when on dates, you’re always stuck by his side and under his constant supervision, so there’s never any chance for you to blabber to anyone about what he tells you or for you to run.

- It was a huge shock to you at first with how conservative he can be, and how he can just talk and also listen in a normal, back-and-forth conversation, sometimes about absolutely nothing. You’d just never expect it from him, but even though he does not care about or love you by any means (just like how it is impossible for Dream to hate, it’s also impossible for Nightmare to love), if he’s kidnapped you in the castle to keep you as a romantic partner for some reason, he has some level of interest or obsession with you, so he’s more keen to just talking like normal with you compared to talking to other people, like Killer for one.

- As for bonding, most of your bonding is just during already discussed and elaborated lazy days around the castle or dates that only happened because he hurt you and needs you to warm up to him again. While you can fall in love and be as cooing to him as you’d like, Nightmare doesn’t experience the bonding you do since he doesn’t feel love. He views quality time as a way to learn more about his fixation on you.

LIVING IN THE CASTLE

(last one for now!! i could just KEEEEP writing about this, but i wanna save it for other headcanons with him in the future.)

- You live a pretty lavish life in the castle, I’m ngl.

- I’ve said it SOSOSO many times, and I’m gonna say it again, Nightmare is extremely manipulative. Thus, he allows your every need in the castle to be taken care of and makes sure that your bedroom is just the way you like it, and that you have anything you could want there.

- Having you be so comfortable in the castle and enjoy your life there makes it indefinitely easier for Nightmare to tear your little heart into pieces. It’s so easy to do when your upset mood is constantly distracted by how good of a life you have there (mostly, save for Nightmare being a bitch) and it just makes it easier for him to hurt your feelings and feed off your negative emotions.

- To elaborate, if you lived a horrible life in the castle and he kept you locked away in some dungeon cell without any freedom to roam the castle, kept you in the same clothes you showed up in, and only gave you water and bread crusts for dinner, it would be very difficult to prevent you from going emotionally numb.

- There’s only so much distress one can take before shutting down, and if he wants to keep hurting you over and over again, it would be very hard to do so when you’re always at your lowest due to your living conditions in the castle.

- Having you live a lavish life with all the physical comforts (except his LMFAO) you could want keeps your mood boosted easier, and allows you to recover quicker from his emotional abuse. When you easily go back to being happy and forgiving him due to your luxury of being able to take walks in the garden by yourself, take a hot bath, and drink some nice tea, it only makes it to where he has to do less work to manipulate your emotions. He can do all of the cheering up indirectly (other than taking you out on dates when he’s super super mean to you) and just let himself indulge in the privilege of hurting you again.

- So, yeah. When it comes to living in the castle you’re pretty much set up for life, living like basically royalty. The only difficult part that always tears you down to earth is whenever Nightmare decides to mess you up again.

There's my short ramble!

I said short, this was a long headcanon list, but it’s short to me when I compare it with how much more I could have written. I’m on a dreamtale crave right now since it has been one of my favorite au’s for a long time, and writing my a03 book with nightmare and dream has sparked the writing love for it again, so if anyone wants any requests for dream and nightmare I will take those up asap along with my others!

Thanks for reading!!

NIGHTMARE AND DREAMTALE BELONG TO JOKUBLOG!!

[realityhelixcreates]

By Talos, This Can't be Happening Chapter 14: Chorrol County Cruise

Swag is a man who loves his shopping.

@cardwrecks

?~?~?~?~?

To the west, and green. To the west and green. Starlight, dyed red, a luminescence hovering in his hands. A caged lizard in a ruined cave. A field watered with blood. Layers of paint obscuring the face of a loved one.

“Challenge.” a feminine voice, everywhere at once, inside. “You bring it on yourself.”

A shadow under the great oak outside the mages guild. Lightning striking a mountaintop. The path rolled out in rays like-

“Starlight...” he mumbled.

“Hm?” Helix mumbled back, not really awake, but merely responding to his voice.

“Nothin' babe. Go back to sleep.”

“Mm.”

Sometime later, he dragged himself out of bed, realizing she'd gotten up earlier than him. There was a basin of warm water and their soap in one corner of the room, waiting for him, a plate of fruit and what looked like a medieval muffin. There was also a full change of clothes. Swag held up the new garments-black with a very decorative silvery trim. Looked like they'd fit, though the trousers might be a bit short. It wouldn't matter if he tucked the hems into his boots. But would that look good? And where had these come from? He couldn't imagine they'd just been left lying around; they looked to be very high quality, like that incredible linen that had been wiped out of history by industrialization.

It did fit well, a little padded at the shoulders, but nothing blocky, and surprisingly breathable and flexible. And yes, the hems were a bit short, but not as noticeably as he'd predicted. He ate, got his hair at least partially tamed, and went in search of Helix.

She was just outside the bedroom, heating one of her alchemical mixtures in what he could only describe as a 'contraption', an elaborate alembic setup dripping hydrosol into a potpourri of salts and ash.

She had also come by a new set of clothing, a confection of green velvet and silk patterned like the leaves of the oak outside. In fact, it was quite similar to the getup Earana had been sporting, but Helix, in his opinion, wore it so much better.

God, that color looked so good on her.

He caught her staring back, and he knew that look. He held his hands up in front of him.

“Hey, I just got these on.” he joked, and she grinned.

“I've got to keep an eye on this anyway.” she said. “Maybe later.”

“Whattaya mean 'maybe'? I see you lookin'. Where'd these come from, anyway?”

“Oh, Anthragar thought we looked a bit ragged, I reckon. He pressed these on me as soon as I went upstairs. Might be custom, or might be he worried we'd make the guild look un-posh or some such. Our other clothes are off for a proper cleaning.”

“Better not damage them. That's my favorite vest.”

“You've got seven more just like it back home.”

“What can I say? I like to be on brand. And it's the only one I have here!”

“It'll be fine. Got any plans for the day?”

Figured I'd go visit the smith. Guy in Bruma recommended her for making a set of gauntlets. Prolly oughta sell off what we got that wasn't already coins.”

Oh right. Here.” She began to remove her ring.

“Uh...you know what? Keep hold of that. Might come in handy later. And I'll see if there isn't anything going on around town, any odd jobs or whatever. I'll keep myself occupied, don't worry. And I won't end up in jail again, so don't worry about that either.”

Because he knew she would.

He left the guild and had to dodge around the back to avoid being spotted by Earana, who was stalking around the great oak like a hunting animal.

The slums of Chorrol were...actually pretty nice from his perspective, basically the opposite of what they'd be in Gotham. Small, single story timber buildings, with space between them, and not a one condemned or falling down. Bright green grass everywhere, and fresh air.

Swag didn't know how much longer he could survive without microdosing on minerals with every breath. And the water not tasting of metal, surely that wasn't how nature had meant it. Where would he get his daily cadmium?

The street, still scrupulously clean, even here, curled around another large cathedral, which he walked straight past, and back into the main thoroughfare. A large statue dominated this end of town, a woman holding a fallen soldier in her arms. Close by, a cute little Rennfaire styled sign declared 'Northern Goods and Trade', a place he definitely wanted to check out.

Inside was another lizard in a dress. An actual dress this time, not a mage robe. Perhaps it could be assumed this one was female, the dress, the smaller size, and the somewhat higher pitched-though still rough-voice might lead to that conclusion. But otherwise, it wasn't that easy to tell. He couldn't help but wonder about the evolutionary story there, unless what Helix had told him was correct, and there was no evolution here.

She introduced herself as Seed-Neeus, because that was just how Argonian names were, apparently. She was also a shrewd businesslizard, and Swags haggling over the mediocre potions didn't go at all as well as he'd planned. He did get a good price for the pearl, the bronze ring, and the green gems-tourmalines, she informed him-though he kept one back for himself. The silver just went by weight, but it was worth quite a bit, and he chatted with her about local affairs, and the rest of Cyrodiil. He was from so very far away after all.

He got the feeling she was not impressed with his attempted compliments on her weird head fin things, but he was trying. He had no way to tell how old she was; maybe she'd just heard it all before. Or maybe he just wasn't her type, which, like, yeah.

But she did mention that a fellow named Guilbert Jemane had gotten some disturbing news, and was acting more erratic and drunken than usual, that there was some kind of trouble brewing on a farmstead just outside of town, and that there had been a large flush of newcomers to the city recently, including a small group from the nearby Weynon Priory; humble monks that were usually so self sufficient that they rarely ever visited.

He headed across the street towards the Fire and Steel, passing by a man arguing loudly with a gate guard that he'd never even been to Cheydinhal, but he was thinking of going just so he could lay a beatdown on some guy who was pretending to be him.

Inside the smiths shop, his eyes were first caught by a huge, olive green woman with short, spiky hair. She had large tusks and small eyes, but she barely looked at him. That must be an orc. Huh, not too bad. She was engaged in conversation with a jovial, dark skinned woman and an elf who was sporting the most gorgeous set of crystalline green armor.

Swag was instantly smitten. Where could he get a set of that? He would look like a god.

Imagine rocking up to the mages guild in that.

“Welcome!” the smith called to him after the orc and elf, an adventuring pair, had left. “Welcome to the Fire and Steel! You're new in town too, aren't you? Well met! I'm Rasheda. Is there anything I can interest you in? At all?”

Her eyes swept up his form in approval. Swag grinned.

“Maybe, maybe. First of all, that green armor the elf fellow was wearing; was that yours?”

“The glass armor? No, I didn't make that. No one can make that. He found it in a ruin somewhere.”

“Glass?”

Rasheda laughed.

“Sounds bad, doesn't it? It's not actually made of glass, its some magical alloy the Ayleids came up with thousands of years ago. It just looks like glass. Tough as steel though, and less than half the weight! Imagine if we could someday figure it out! But for now, the only way to get any is to find it in one of the Ayleids ruins, or to get it off of someone else who did. If you do, bring it back here, I can make sure it fits you right. Remarkable stuff, it can be formed like steel too, reshaped for a better fit.”

“Only in the ruins, huh? Pretty rare then.”

“Yeah, but I see more of it than you might think. We get adventurers in pretty regularly, due to all the ruins in the Great Forest outside of town. The Ayleids were populous here, and there are quite a few mines and caves, and remnants from the Alessian Empire too. There's a lot out there to be reclaimed.”

“Any to the North of here?” Earana had said that the book she wanted was located in an Ayleid ruin.

“Yes, a few. And there's Sancre Tor as well. Huge place, three ruined towers. Most of the wall has fallen down, but I here its not uncommon for people to just disappear around there.”

“Uh...I might have seen it, yeah. Creepy place.”

“Well, that's the best I can give you when it comes to glass. Is there anything else?”

She was looking again, unabashed interest in her dark eyes.

“Yeah, actually. Two things. What would you recommend for someone who's never worn armor before? And also, the smith in Bruma recommended you for a pair of custom gauntlets. Was he on the level?”

“Bruma? Wait, you mean Fjotreid? He remembers me?”

“Had nothing but praise for your work. Said you could make a pair of gauntlets so fine, they might as well be my own skin. Sure like to see that.”

“He said that?” her huge smile flashed white, even as her cheeks darkened with flattered pleasure. “What a sweetheart! And he's not wrong, either. I can do that. Let me see your hands.”

He held them out, and she flipped them over, spread the fingers out, commenting cheekily about their length and shape.

“You seem like the sort who likes to be light on your feet.” she said, lapsing away from flirtatiousness and into the more serious part of her job. “Reinforced leather jerkin, something in the Khajiti style maybe. Quiet. Flexible. Blued steel for the gauntlets; you'd want a solid strike for those. Not the mitten type, I'm assuming, more like the elven glove type, right?”

“Sounds right.”

“I have some leather already mostly put together, I could get some measurements and alter something for you right now. The gauntlets have to be bespoke though. Everybody's hands are different, and most pugilists' aren't as graceful as yours.”

She quoted him two prices, the armor quite reasonable, but the gauntlets quite a bit outside his current price range. It made sense; all the little pieces, specially treated, carefully fitted.

He agreed to have measurements taken for the armor, and the frisky attitude returned, her hands lingering longer than strictly necessary, a little bit of shared innuendo.

“You know, I have a lot of free time today. Anything I can do around the place to maybe shave a few coins off those gauntlets?” he suggested.

Rasheda grinned wide.

“Well...” she drawled.

Then she locked the door.

Swag laughed.

?~?~?~?~?

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping that the concert was as spectacular as it looked, even more so in person (if not your outfit definitely was 👍🏽)!! Sorry about not sending an ask earlier, I got sick...again. Anyway I let's talk about 6x11 for a bit because I have a LOT of feeling about it but mostly I'm confused. Nothing about this episode made sense, from the concept itself to its ultimate outcome.

Let's start with concept, which was Buck does "Its a Wonderful Life". So firstly, as I believe you pointed out, Buck isn't exactly comparable to a suicidal business owner. In fact Buck is happier than he's been for awhile, so why this style? His "what if" about Daniel happened last episode after 2 seasons of nothing, he's secure at the firehouse, so what exactly is he questioning? But okay, whatever, this has been on his mind for 2 years (with no indication it was). Buck learns he's happy but others are sad, so he goes back. So ignoring the insult to both Bobby and especially Eddie that their current situation depends entirely on Buck and there weren't other people in their lives that also were looking out for them, how is this progress? First there's the fact that Buck's returning FOR other's to be happy, this is what he does and its not good for him!! Second, the fact that this version of himself isn't particularly appealing to present Buck so he isn't really giving anything up either, so how is this a choice? Finally, Buck himself knows its all in his head!! Its not a given that things will go this way, its just his imagination, logically why put any weight on this at all. The only conflict at the end was does Buck want to live or die and he's not suicidal so its not an actual choice. There is no drama to this and it falls absolutely flat.

So let's say the point is to reconcile him and his parents and understand that it was Daniel's death that made them act the way they did. So are we saying Buck's feelings as a result of that don't matter? Hell, why even have a 2 episode setup in S4 if we're going to magic this issue away with a coma dream (trying to hold back about Chim having a setup with his dad involving similar screentime just for those issues to be waved away as the tertiary plot of someone else's episode)? Wouldn't an actual conversation be more meaningful? The best theory I've seen is that Buck recognizes the significance of his found family while acknowledging he can allow his relationship with his bio family to heal. Great, except the way the episode concluded with the Buckley's being the primary focus doesn't send that message at all. It makes no damn sense!!

And look, as sexy as evil!Buck is, why is he even there. The evil other half trope is to use your insecurities to have you make the "wrong" choice. So how exactly does it work that evil!Buck tries to convince real!Buck that he should stay because "no one needs him", we have half the firefam gone in his dream which immediately negates this idea, AND have Buck say he's going for himself which would hit better if I could figure out when the fuck in the episode he decided this. I mean if its simple I want to live scenario did we need a whole coma dream to get here, Eddie did it over a shortened version of "Carry You". If its to hit the way Eddie's conversation with Ramon hit last season, where the hell is the half season buildup for Buck to realize this?? Sure magic coma dream is fun concept but it fucking needs to make sense and this doesn't!!

Anyway this is way too long and you likely won't have a chance to answer it before next episode but i thought i'd put it out there. Also if your wondering why its one big ask Tumblr stopped letting me post on anon from my phone so I finally made an account (in case you're wondering why someone with a weirdly science specific account is following you).

Hello my friend! The concert was phenomenal! It was like when you run into that super complementary drunk girl in the bar bathroom who tells you your outfit is amazing and you're a beautiful soul, but like, a whole stadium of that. SO many people were dressed up in costume and everyone was just vibing and having a great time. I got a friendship bracelet from a girl who was like, 8. It was a great time even before the show, and then the whole show was just breathtaking! Worth every (considerable) penny. 10/10 would do it again.

I'm sorry you got sick again! 😭 that's no fun! But I definitely wouldn't have gotten to your ask before today anyway since I spent all day yesterday driving and didn't get home until after midnight. But yes, let's talk about 6x11 because "confused" is exactly the right word and how I was feeling and it was soooo frustrating because it kept pulling me out of the episode and then consequently, because of the confusion and messy writing, the emotional beats just didn't land right. And I hate that because Buck learning that he is enough as he is, is SUCH an important theme for him and something I've been wanting for him for a WHILE and I hate that the episode as a whole just...didn't work, and didn't give the firefam care and concern it should have because it prioritized a storyline no one even asked for or wanted and that hasn't come up in like, 2 seasons. (We're supposed to get more firefam care and concern tonight but like, I'm not holding my breath, especially with it being the "fun" part of an otherwise heavy episode.)

"There is no drama to this and it falls absolutely flat" is SUCH a good way to describe this whole thing! Like, right off the bat, Buck knows it's not real so that takes 99.9% of the drama out of the "scary" revelations. No version of an ideal world for Buck includes Bobby being dead, Maddie being trapped with Doug (and unlikely to escape with a child involved and a family that thinks things are fine), and Eddie losing Chris, so there's no question he would even WANT to stay, especially with his parents suddenly being everything he ever wanted anyways! And as you said as well, Buck isn't struggling with his place at work, or his place with the firefam, or even, apparently, with his decision to donate sperm and have a bio child out there in the world that he's just totally cool walking away from! So...what IS he questioning? If they wanted to do an episode about him not feeling like enough why not do it after, say, he tries to donate and it doesn't work, or the family history is a deal breaker, or he decides he can't do this and his old "friend" lashes out at him? OR right after he feels like Bobby doesn't see him as captain material? Put THIS storyline in 6a and it makes far more sense than it does here when Buck is in a really good place! And this was the first of the mixed messages with Buck saying the words he's going back for himself because he's enough as he is, while the whole episode said something entirely different which was that without Buck, no one else would have been happy or even survived, so he's just going back to a world where the people he loves are safe and happy, which is....not really choosing HIMSELF so much as choosing a world were the people he loves are happy.

Which leads to your next point and the next mixed message which was his parents being suddenly the perfect parents in both the coma and real world, while also trying to say that Bobby was his parent and the firefam the ideal family he's always wanted, that are just waiting for him to come back to him. And by trying to do both, the did neither. The firefam got sidelined for the Buckley parents, and the Buckley parents were too busy having to be perfect to actually own up to their mistakes and give their kids a chance to be angry and talk about how they felt! It became a "they're trying so we just need to let it go". Same with Chim and his dad! And all that undercut Buck's choice as well, AND it was his parents only caring about him when he was hurt, all over again! I said in the tags of another post if they had even just dropped hints the past two seasons that Buck was still doing therapy with his parents, and had a good Buck/Maddie convo about how he understands his parents better now and therapy has really helped them communicate better and they understand now how hurt he was by their actions, this would have made more sense, AND given CHIM'S storyline with his dad some time to breathe. Hoping we get more of that but...I doubt it. Again, things that are apparently happening in people's heads but never making it to screen don't count as growth and telling a good story! And it absolutely undermined the WHOLE story of Bobby being a dad for Buck, when he wasn't even in the room for Buck waking up or the one to take Buck home with him when he was released from the hospital, and it undercuts Buck having the family he already wants to NOT see ALL of the firefam taking turns at his bedside to talk to him about what he means to them. (DID WE EVEN GET A BUCKAROO?!)

That conversation at the end between Buck and his mind could have been SOOOO good, because it's something that NEEDED to happen, but the writing was so all over the place all episode and all season that it just didn't land or make sense! Like you said, there's nothing to entice him to stay in the dream world that he already knows is fake and that doesn't have all the people he loves in it, and Buck hasn't been reckless or passively suicidal in ages so it felt like he was fighting so hard for just...no reason. And don't get me started on this being his subconscious and the kind of message that sends about what he thinks about people because while I think it was an oversight by the writers room and not purposeful, surely someone should have caught it? They literally get paid to do this for a living, and NO ONE said anything about that OR about the way the writing contradicted itself the whole damn episode?

I'm just....really disappointed that an episode that COULD have been about the power of found family and the firefam's love for their Buckaroo just for being himself, and about Buck's acceptance of his messy life leading him to the right place and right people and that he doesn't NEED to reconcile with his parents to live a happy life, he can just let that hurt go with some grace and understanding but not a thing he wants or needs to carry for them any longer, turned into...this mess. And the acting was SO GOOD too! Oliver and Peter were just ON IT all episode, and Maddie was making everyone cry, and the brief moments of the rest of the firefam were loaded with the emotion that should have carried the whole episode, but the writing just took the legs right out from under every firefam and Buck focused scene and kept all of it from carrying the weight it should have. And the camera work?! The props?! The flashbacks?! Top tier work! So so good! Literally could have been one of the best episodes ever, but it was just SO let down by the contradictory writing and trying to push this Buckley parents resolution after dropping the plot entirely with no mention for 2 seasons and then pretending that their behavior was normal. And actually having Maddie, Buck, and Chim ALL point out that it WASN'T normal and then just...never following up on that and making it out like THEY are the ones in the wrong! I just...😤😤😤😤😤

ANYWAY

Here's hoping for some good firefam food this week. I wish I could care more about this Wendall storyline but considering we knew he existed for all of 2 minutes before he was killed off I just...don't. 🤷🏻���♀️

[writingwitharlo]

@hereforthefluff: ayo??? tell us more!! (if u wanna, ofc)

ask and you shall receive - may i present you an excerpt of our text conversation

gotta give a little context before we begin: i somehow bruised my hip and i was pointing out how it still hurts and i started mentioning having 'comfort bones' (bc i trace my skin to self soothe) and they got intrigued

it's not even the number one comfort bone

elaborate please

i think ribs is number one for comfort bone(s) then hips then knees

how how do you know what makes them comfort

(i talked about why i even feel the need to self soothe to begin with and having anxiety and being touch starved) their reply: just me going straight for the ribs next time (aka flustering af) also them like 5 minutes later: watch out for your ribs and knees next time then

(should probably clarify that they did not intend to tickle me at this point bc i only mentioned having a ticklish neck exactly once to them, they were more referring to comforting me with touches and playful punches, but i was seriously flustered at this point)

(me): if you just see me legging it or curling into a ball, don't worry it's not you

aw like a baby no don't worry i'm a respectable citizen won't go for the secret spots unannounced (their fucking choice of words here)

good bc you might just get an elbow to the face

i won't no worries

i don't know if i trust you you're too tuned into giggles, it might be my downfall (they are very much aware of people's laughs and giggles and find them endearing)

what downfall despite popular belief i am able to keep my hands to myself, especially if it's weak spots (was dying in this exact moment)

my ticklish downfall

ohhhhhhh ohhhh ohhh you're ticklish yeah no worries about that am not a fan of tickling people (i know what you're thinking but just keep going)

i mean i don't mind it it's nice or like it can be nice with the right person

i think ur the first person to ever say that

in the world?

yes

i doubt that

whole universe

i know i'm not

hm good to know then i do enjoy the giggles i'm not ticklish myself so i can't offer revenge for you

see? tickles = free giggles

that's you giving me too much power

i trust you

(briefly talked about how they are not ticklish and that i kinda figured bc my fingers have been in their armpit without them flinching so)

(them): why would you tell me that's silly i'm gonna abuse that knowledge

sure you will you missed the bit where i said 'i don't mind it, it's nice'?

hm didn't connect the dots i think

it's fair, i don't blame you, it's not the obvious dots to connect

(and here is where we struck actual gold, people)

do you just wanna get tickled is this just a big setup to get me to tickle you

what is i said it was, huh? what then?

then i'll get those free giggles asap your wish is my command

(me send of gif of eddie munson just falling)

aw honey you just gotta ask i do not get subtle hints i'm dumb as shit

kinda a weird request to make, also bc i know not every is comfortable with it so like i'd rather not risk it and take what i can get

i don't think it's weird, i'm getting giggles out of it

yes i can tell i might eat my own words with this one

oh you'll be just fine, i'll stop when you say stop eventually (dead once more) am good goose here for your entertainment only

they are honestly the sweetest, nicest person and the fact that they took it so calmly just melts my heart i'm absolutely terrified of seeing them again on saturday also bc i'll be spending the night and will absolutely need to keep my chill

so i might have mentioned to my romantic interest that i think tickles are nice (in my about to sleep, non-filtered haze) and it kinda went amazing??

[comfortscripts]

Do Your Job, No Matter What ¬ Draco M.

Plot - Following your boss's orders was part of the job but you never realised how far he'd take it.

Genre - Smut ♧ {16+ Only}

Pairing - CEO!Draco Malfoy x Fem!reader

Notes/Warnings - Power play plot with porn, harsh names, Dom/Sub, penetrative, choking, unprotected sex with creampie (dont be stupid like them irl). Astoria is the ex-wife in this as I couldn't bring myself to write about a cheater and I apologise in advance if this is terrible, I haven't written smut in years.

Word Count - 2.3k

The day had bled into night and as the gentle rays of sun disappeared, so did your co-workers. Mutters of goodbyes and heels clacking faded till all that remained was the muffled sound of Mr. Malfoy on his conference call.

You were used to being the last one to leave, often deep into the night. A common requirement for a personal assistant was to be there till the boss leaves but unfortunately, Mr Malfoy wasn't exactly rushing home most nights.

The simple hardwood desk was more familiar to you than your own bed nowadays. Nights got later as business got busier and Mr Malfoy became more involved with potential investors, but you never complained. You were always the best and you were planning on staying that way.

"Y/N, get in here!"

Being so involved in the setup for the next morning, you didn't listen out for the conference call or how it ended but from thunderous and rude tone of your boss, you could imagine.

Shuffling to your feet before straightening out your skirt, you made hastily made your way through the large oak doors that housed the king, as you co-workers often joked. You understood their distaste, a powerful and attractive man was already intimidating but Draco always found a way to rub people up the wrong way, except you. You always had a certain affection towards the man, not that you would ever admit it.

Entering the darkened office, you felt your breath catch in your throat as you faced your boss. His once tamed hair, now wisps of silvery blond streaking across his forehead. Veins prominent on pale arms where he had rolled up his sleeves. He stood behind his desk, with one hand leaning on the dark oak table whilst the other nursed a crystal glass of whiskey. Even in his frustration, he still looked like the most powerful man in the country.

Draco lifted his eyes to yours and you felt yourself squirm under his gaze, you'd be lying to say that the man wasn't gracing the thoughts you had in your more intimate moments. This simple act made you think that this could be more than a fantasy with how his eyes traced over you.

"Well that meeting was a total disaster." The man sighed before manoeuvring to sit on what could almost be described as a leather throne. "I told my father that trying to work with Potter Industries was useless but the stupid git wouldn't listen so I had to deal with them bastards for nothing!"

Whilst you tried to focus on his words, your thoughts were more taken with his hands. Strong, thick fingers graced with three solid silver rings and the way they wrapped around the crystal tumbler was so sinful, you let yourself imagine what they would feel like around your neck.

Snapping yourself out of your sinful thoughts, you notice the silence as if Draco had expected a reply to his rant. Whilst he valued your opinion, you weren't sure what to offer.

"I'm sorry they wasted your time sir. Is there anything I can do?" Whilst it sounded innocent enough, part of you couldn’t help but mean it in a suggestive manner.

Draco debated your offer for a moment. He always knew what you thought of him, how your thighs would clench together during car rides where he was just slightly closer than normal or how you would blush at the simplest praise. You were wrapped around his finger.

He knew you wanted him sexually, he too held this secret but he wondered if you were harbouring more than sinful thoughts towards him. He needed to know, to see if he was just seeing what he wanted to see or if there was something between the two of you. Draco knew that by tonight, he would have his answer.

"Come over here" He beckoned.

Obeying before thought, you carefully manoeuvred so you were standing behind the desk and in front of your boss.

Mr Malfoy patted his right thigh in a non-verbal demand for her to sit on his lap. Once again, you were obeying before thought or reason, you gently placed yourself on his muscular thigh, allowing your skirt to ride up.

Draco rested his hand on your exposed thigh, toying with the edge of your tight skirt. With the other hand he gripped your chin in a gentle but firm manner, turning your face to meet his, only centimetres away.

"You know exactly how you can help me"

"I'm not sure what you mean Mr Malfoy"

"Don't play dumb my dear. I see how you look at me, how you respond to me. Would bet money on the fact that you are getting wetter by the second just from being this close to me." His hand inched up closer and if on instinct, your legs moved apart to allow him. The tips of his fingers graced the edge of your panties before pulling them to the side, allowing his fingers to feel your wetness. "Just as I thought, always knew you were my little slut".

He slowly pushed a digit inside, allowing the warmth to coat his pale finger. The action caused a small whimper to leave your lips involuntarily and as you felt the cold metal of his ring graze your folds, you could barely stop the moan from escaping. Draco kept a slow pace, almost teasingly slow. Your body was begging for more but Draco wanted to hear it, needed to hear it. He could see you getting restless at the gentle pace but he needed more from you so he delicately removed his finger, which was met with an annoyed groan from you. Sliding his digit up your soaking slit, he brought his finger to your sense bud. Rubbing in careful circles, you felt your need for Draco grow even stronger.

"Please, I need more"

"Tell me what you want baby"

"I want your fingers. Want to cum. Please make me cum"

This was what he needed, you falling apart for him. Begging for something as simple as him to finger fuck you, and god the sound of you was better than he imagined. A cocky smirk grace his whiskey coated lips before colliding his lips with yours, a collision of tongues and teeth but it was exactly what you both craved. The messy kiss resembled the messy dynamic you were both about to enter.

Placing his attention back on your weeping hole, he broke away from the kiss. You felt your eyes flutter shut as he entered two of his thick digits into you, this time at a harsh speed. Moans were escaping your body as your orgasm built but Draco was quick to drink them up. The combination of the anticipation and how he was perfectly hitting every spot whilst massaging your clit was getting you there quicker than ever before.

Draco could feel your body getting closer to release, clenching and tensing against his fingers. "Cum for me, show me what a little slut you are."

His words were what pushed you over the edge as you came hard all over your boss's hand. You connected your mouths again in a brief moment of ecstasy. Breaking away from the kiss, you rested your head on his shoulder attempting to catch your breath.

You could feel his harden length through his trousers and the feeling alone was enough to make you need more. Carefully grazing your hand over the evident bulge, you felt the man tense under you.

Before you could do or say anything more, the phone rang.

The sharp sounds were enough to remind both of you that you were still in the office and technically still on the clock. Breaking your stare from the phone, you turned to Draco who simply stated "Better answer it sweetie, it is your job after all".

Rolls of frustration filled your body as you wished he would have simply thrown the phone out the window and taken you on the desk but no, here you were. Standing up from his lap, you picked up the phone.

"Hello, Mr Malfoy's Office. Y/N Speaking."

"Oh, Y/N, hello. I was hoping you would answer" You knew that buttery voice, Astoria Greengrass. Ex-wife of the man who just made you cum, of the man you were hoping to fuck.

"Hi Ms. Greengrass, how are you?" As you said her name, you spotted Draco rise from his chair.

Astoria started on a small rant about how hard dating is as a single mum but you could barely focus on her. The blond haired man had made his way behind your figure, and was slowly undressing you. Button after button until your bra-covered chest was exposed, a quick zip of your skirt left you standing in only your panties and finally, Draco decided to rid you of your panties as well with a quick rip of the fabric.

Whilst Astoria talked your ear off, Draco leaned down towards the other and whispered "Be a good girl and do your job, okay".

You shakily nodded whilst attempting to focus on the words the woman was speaking but you were rendered incapable when you felt his enlarged tip tease your folds. You couldn't help but intake a sharp breath.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Astoria paused, she was always a thoughtful woman who made sure Y/N was leaving enough time for herself between work but now here Y/N was, fucking Astoria's ex-husband whilst on the phone to the woman herself.

"Yep, I'm sorry. I jus-" Her sentence interrupted by Draco fully entering her tight pussy. His cock stretching her out in ways she had never experienced, she couldn't help but whimper in an attempt to hold back a moan. "I stubbed my toe really hard. It's all okay truly."

"Always hurts more than it should." You attempted a chuckle at the woman's remark but it became a strangled moan as Draco picked up the pace. Astoria continued "Anyways, sorry for ranting but I was calling to remind Draco about Scorpius' play on Tuesday, can you please make sure his schedule is clear".

"Yes, of course I will." You manage to respond, trying to focus on being professional rather than focusing on your boss pounding you into oblivion.

"Great, I won't keep you any longer. Thank you dear, have a good night."

You replied a quick 'You too' before slamming the phone down. A plethora of pent up moans rushed from your throat as you felt Draco's full size threaten to split you open, you had never felt this full and god, you loved it.

His slender hand wrapped around your neck, pulling you closer to his chest and gaining more force. "What a good little whore you are! Taking my cock like you were built for me". His words made you clench around him which caused an guttural moan to escape the dominant man.

"Please sir, I need more. I need to cum, please." You were close to seeing stars but you needed more, you craved more.

Draco had never felt more powerful than he did at that moment. Slipping out of you before lifting your body as if you were a ragdoll for his amusement, you were now seated against his desk and face to face with him as he re-entered your soaking pussy dangerously slow. The new angles were enough to make your eyes roll to the back of your head, moaning strings of swears as you approached your peak.

The pale businessman pounded you with such force you thought his desk might break under the pressure, holding your hips so tightly that you were sure to have bruises the following morning. Moans of your name graced the man's lips as he approached his orgasm, as his pace faltered and became uneven.

Grabbing your throat with force, Draco brought his face down to yours. "Cum for me."

His words were all you needed as you felt your climax hit you like a freight train. Moaning his name so loudly that you suspected anyone left in the building would have heard. Your vision darkened as the pleasure rolled over you in waves, feeling the release of all the late nights with your hands between your legs whilst fantasies of Draco fuelled you. The reality was better than the fantasy.

Your climax had left you clenching Draco, milking him dry as he released inside of your warm welcoming pussy. All frustration from work was gone, all the desire he felt for you was enhanced, just everything was right in this moment. He felt his cock soften and carefully slipped himself out, watching as his seed slowly trailed down your plump pussy.

Catching your breath, you slipped off the desk before finding yourself in Draco's arms once again. "That was incredible but I am still mad you fucked me whilst I spoke to your ex-wife"

"Very bold aren't I, kitten?. You have to do your job, no matter what" He chuckled. "What did she want anyways?"

"Wanted me to remind you about Scorpius' play on Tuesday." Answering in a nonchalant tone, which is never how you spoke to him but you were now feeling the repercussions of what just happened and were feeling insecurity, causing you to use attempted nonchalance to hide it. "So I guess I will see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, technically. I will see you tomorrow as well but for now, we are heading to back to my house. Have some dinner and see what happens from there." His gaze was often fierce and stubborn but now it was gentle and almost hopeful, showing that he was also scared of what this meant for your relationship, but hoped that you wouldn't reject his offer of something more romantic.

Even with already flushed cheeks, his words caused light blush to appear "That sounds like a perfect plan to me, Draco."

Draco's fears were put to rest as soon as he heard his name roll of your tongue. You may be wrapped around his finger but he was wholly wrapped around yours. Just took a bold move to release the truth.

[bokebelle]

connie springer + friends with benefits

A/N: this is very very self-indulgent and ended up being longer than intended but please enjoy my Connie brainrot bc i love him a lot and he needs more content

WARNINGS: 16+; friends with benefits relationship; mentions of sex; modern au

PAIRINGS: connie springer x gn!reader

TAGS: fluff, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

REQUESTS: open

One of the best people to get into a friends with benefits type of relationship 💯

You guys would have to be good friends before this kind of relationship happens. Connie may be fun and goofy from time to time but he wants to make sure you trust him as a partner and vice versa

He probably wasn't even looking for a fwb type relationship tbh it probably just happened and you guys just went with it

it probably started with growing sexual tension whenever you two hung out. A little playful flirting here and there 👀

At a party, you two were a little flirter than usual and he just looked around to see if anyone was around, and whispered in your ear if you wanted to make out in his car LMAO of course you agreed

things just escalated over time til he offered to take you home one night and you best believe he did NOT go home that night

When the post nut clarity finally hit that you guys hooked up, he just asks if you would want to do it again

Connie turned to look at you, lips slightly swollen, with a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and a light sheen of sweat on his chest. "So...wanna do it again?"

"Right now?!" you sit up, instantly feeling the soreness in your lower half. you definitely weren't ready for another round

"Not now, dummy. But maybe...whenever we both wanna, y'know..." he avoided looking at you, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his own proposition. "but if you totally don't want to, it's fine I understand."

A small smile dances on you lips. He looked cute all flustered, suddenly looking nervous when he was anything but just moments ago. "I think I'd like that."

You two don't really tell anyone, but you don't keep it a secret either. He'd tell them what's up if people would ask (if you wanted them to know) but since you guys flirt all the time no one really suspected anything more was going on

the longer your relationship progresses, the bolder he gets lmao literally went from being shy about asking to hookup in his apartment to dragging your ass you his car during a date because his dick "suddenly missed his best buddy" you smacked him

He is also very open to experimenting and trying new things. He'll try it once and if it doesn't work then it's fine. He also respects your boundaries if ever you don't feel comfortable with the idea of trying something new. he won pressure you and won't bring it up

Probably uses a safeword like "taco"

He isn't THAT rough that you'd need one, but he wants to give you the option of stopping whenever you feel like you can handle it 😭 this baby doesn't wanna hurt you and wants you as safe as possible 🥺

This man is a great mix of playful and serious in the bedroom. He knows when to make you laugh during sex and to tone it down when you just need a physical release. your comfort is his priority so he wants to make sure he fits whatever you need

Connie is actually really good with aftercare despite not knowing it's actually a thing!!

He just knows it's on him to take care of his partner afterwards so he helps you clean up, gives you clean clothes especially if you're at his place, and offers you a snack or asks if you wanna watch a movie

If you want to cuddle and just talk, he's totally down! if you also need some personal space, he'll totally respect that and give you the time you need, whenever you need it.

He can be a total flirt but he's also very friendly and knows his limits so he doesn't end up sending mixed signals. He's flirty enough to keep things interesting but not enough to confuse either of you about your relationship unless he falls for you.

Great aftercare? Attentive in the bedroom? Funny, handsome, respectful king? overall one of the best people to have a FWB relationship hands down

If you ever decide you want to end that kind of setup, he'll totally respect it and would still treat you as a good friend! will occasionally make inside jokes about hooking up but it's all in good nature because he enjoyed his time with you and he wants you to remember that time with the same smile he has whenever he thinks about it pls i love him

BONUS: Falling in love with Connie during your FWB relationship (and him falling in love you with back)

honestly how can you not fall for him

Connie is always so sweet, funny, respectful, both in and out of the bedroom so it wasn't long before you started wanting to stay in his arms a bit more after a good session

Connie never treated you any differently, but there were times when things just felt different

The moment you knew you had feelings for him was when he fucked you differently compared to your previous sessions

Sure he would blow your back out every now and then, but there were also more mellow times with him when you both were feeling lazy and needy

But THIS was a new experience. He fucked you slowly, but intensely. His hands were all over you but his touches were more gentle and soft. His kisses were a little bit sweeter and the caresses on your face lingered just a bit longer.

You snuggled into his chest a little more after that and you swore he held you a bit tighter, pulling your body just a bit closer to his. When you became aware of his heart beating under your ear, and found yourself being lulled to sleep by it, you knew you were fucked both literally and figuratively

Your feelings for him weighed you down more and more until you decided you were playing a dangerous game and you had to get out before you reached the point of no return

it sucked having to break things off with Connie but it was the first rule of any fwb relationship and you broke it more and more everyday.

As you sat up and rolled out of bed, ready to get dressed and leave, you felt Connie's arms come up behind you and rested his chin against your shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you stay the night?" he asked, placing a quick kiss on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

You exhale heavily, dreading what was coming next. You didn't plan on breaking it off so soon, but you knew staying the night would only be the wrong choice to make - for your sake and your heart's.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"C'mon, this isn't the first time you've stayed the night. Please?" You wanted to give in. You wanted to roll around, kiss his pretty face and spend the night in his arms. But knowing he didn't feel the same way as you did, knowing you'd leave with a heart that would break a little bit more if you stayed over, is what made you say no.

"It's not a good idea, Connie." you take a deep breath. "Actually, I think we aren't a good idea anymore."

You felt him withdraw his arms from your torso, the areas where he held you instantly feeling cold and empty. You hold on tighter to the sheets, partly to cover yourself up but mostly to keep you from breaking down in front of him.

"What?! Why not? Did I do something wrong? Was I too rough?"

Connie desperately racked his brain for what could have gone wrong from when you were saying his name like a prayer to now. He didn't want to mess it up with you, he really didn't. You slowly became someone he felt safe with. You became the one he wanted to see first thing in the morning, that's why he wanted you to stay over. He was falling for you, but he didn't want to admit it just yet. Maybe you caught on and didn't feel the same way? He knew he'd have to tell you eventually, but he wanted to be selfish a little bit longer. He wanted to enjoy what you guys had before going back to being just friends with no 'benefits'.

"I know we agreed to being just friends but I think I'm starting to feel something more than that and it's really stupid. But I don't think I can do this anymore without falling for you more than I already have." The tension in the air is palpable. In the time it takes for what you said to finally sink in Connie's mind, you decided his silence was his final answer.

When Connie saw your figure quietly get up from the edge of the bed, he knew this was his chance.

He quickly made his way over to your side, sitting on the edge. He reached out and gently wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Don't go, please." He whispered into the skin of your back.

You turn to look at him, keeping your tears at bay, trying to pry his arms off of you. God, with the way he was looking at you, that was almost all the convincing you need to stay just last night with him

"Connie, don't make this harder on me. You don't understa-"

"No, [y/n]" he cuts you off, now moving his hands to hold yours. "you don't understand." he delicately presses a kiss to your fingertips before kissing the back of your hand. "I want you. I want you to stay."

The meaning behind his words lit a spark in you that erupted into a passionate flame in your chest.

Connie wanted you. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

You cup his face, one of his hands coming up to rest over yours. You lean down and place the sweetest, softest kiss you can on his lips. It's not much but you hope he can feel all you've wanted to tell him in that one kiss.

"Okay, Connie, okay" you whisper as your lips pulled away from his own, a small smile forming when he whined at the loss of contact.

You committed the image of Connie Springer pouting at you because he wanted a kiss to your memory. You would tease him about it soon enough, you just wanted cherish the fact that he wanted kisses - your kisses.

You had more nights to share, more kisses to give him, but for now you just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having Connie in your arms, knowing you had each other as long as your hearts wanted.

You wanted to enjoy the feeling of Connie simply being there, finally being yours. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither were you.

"I'll stay."

[trekwithigor]

Trek With Igor

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for joining me on this crazy adventure. My name is Igor, I live in Toronto and I am 32 years old. When the Covid-19 Pandemic hit in March of 2020 I was terminated from my job.

There is alot of backstory there, but I was a Hospitality Professional at the top of his game. I was a General Manager for one of the finest Italian Restaurants in Downtown Toronto and then I had transitioned to work at Cafe Landwer, also as a General Manager in Training. When the pandemic hit I went to work back in Real Estate, and there is also a long story there as well that I won't get into right now.

But where does Trek With Igor start? So I love Star Trek Obviously. I watched the tv shows, I have seen the movies, I have played all the games and I actively play Star Trek Online. But thats not something that you can show to people. Noone cares what your online model looks like, or who your online character is.

Well maybe they do? But can I whip it out and show my bosses at work...No they're gonna think I am detached from reality and living in the future. So this is where my friend Henry served as my inspiration. He had moved out of Toronto, to Nova Scotia and he had started to do some amateur Lego Collecting and Modeling.

You Can check out his Instagram here :

But he models Star Wars Lego collectibles, and he does a fantastic job. He was the one who told me that Star Trek never licensed with Lego, and that I will have a hard time finding any sets that are ready to go. So instead he recommened that I find a site that has instructions, and then order the parts separately. So I did some research thanks to Pinterest and some blogs, and stumbled upon KY-E bricks.

I ordered the instructions, and they come in all the necessary and different formats. XML, CS, and IO files. The packages also came with a whole bunch of images etc. Overrall, these are HANDS DOWN the BEST Star Trek Lego models out there. ( I will post a comparison of the KY-E Bricks Constitution Model, and the one that my BF ordered as a set)

I then uploaded the instructions to Bricklink, (well first Re-Brickable) and then setup the carts and ordered them. I have an entire tips and tricks thing that I have figure out already on how to make sure that I am sourcing the cheapest parts. I also try to order from Canadian stores, and as local as possible.

They do amazing Lego Designs of all types of Sci-Fi and fantasy. I downloaded the Enterprise parts list, because I really wanted to start my collection by Building the NX-01 Enterprise. Jonathan Archer and his crew were my coming of age crew. They are the ones I watched as a teen every week explore what happens when you first step out into the stars.

I know the series itself was maligned, and I can see where the short falls were. Much like the original series, it grew to be loved by a small percentage of individuals. I wanted to be just like Jonathan Archer playing with my model of the NX-01. and I did it and I am very happy with the fact that I did it.

Now when I speak of my love and affection for Star Trek, I can show people the physical product of that labour of love. I will share images of my models, and I will also take better pictures of them in the future. I get to feel like a kid for a few minutes when I sit down with the LEGO. It gives me hope for my future, cause doing the modelling and dreaming of it and organizing myself, helped me out of the darkest times in the pandemic.

At first I started an Instagram Page, but I realized that its better to blog and then share to the world. I want to thank you for joining me on this journey. This started as a hobby to give me some hope for the future, and I hope you can get inspired to do something of your own!

PS: I will also post the costs associated with Each Model, and you will see how its super affordable to do!

[davidmann95]

So Phillip Kennedy Johnson did an interview on Word Baloon. Some tidbits I've heard: 1. Reaffirmed that Morrison was consulted for Future State. They had a Fourth World idea that PKJ cannot share for spoiler reasons, and they were complimentary towards PKJ's ideas. 2. Due to the Cosmic Scale, Lois won't be playing a major part in the plot. This is why the back ups are there. 3. Jon won't be deaged, the secret ID stays out. Waid are Morrison are his favorite Superman writers. He also likes Marz.

I listened to it, he dropped a lot of interesting info! I organized them as such (not including what we already know, which is that after the two-part crossover The Golden Age with Phil Hester kicking off the run he’s doing Action Comics with Scott Godlewski and Superman with Daniel Sampere; he’ll eventually do a big event-scale story in Action Comics starting around September with Mikel Janin and then remain solely on that book while another team takes over Superman, and there’ll be a big shift in the supporting cast on one of the books at some point):

Future State

* Johnson wasn't on Superman for 5G, but the more general cosmic side, though the shifting plans wound up with him here.

* House of El has a 'fall of Camelot' sort of vibe; he charted out future super-lineages for that book, including from other people Clark had families with after Lois passed away centuries down the line, who largely only exist by implication in this story because we see the great-great-grandchildren of those kids.

* Reaffirmed that Morrison consulted on the Superman stuff in Future State, and they were very complimentary to PKJ's ideas. The anecdote provided was that when one idea was thrown out Morrison replied with “HEY, IF YOU’RE DOING THAT HAVE YOU READ THIS ONE ISSUE OF FOURTH WORLD WHERE-” and then Johnson can’t say what Morrison said because that’d be a spoiler.

* We're gonna see some of Smallville in Worlds of War.

Superman/Action

* He's doing lots of worldbuilding stuff ala his work on The Last God; he feels that’s a big part of why he was brought in by DC to the main line in the first place.

* He's not deaging Jon, he's not putting the secret identity back in the bottle, he liked those stories and even if he would’ve made different decisions he feels it’d be disrespectful to creators and the forward momentum of the characters to hit the One More Day button (though he acknowledges and is fine with that someone else probably will some day).

* These are big, cosmic-adventure stories - since he felt the core of Bendis’s run were about intimate character interactions he’s throwing the lever in the opposite direction, saying that if that was about Superman’s humanity this is about Superman as a borderline-god. Which would be bad if that were the sole focus of the take - he’s made clear it isn’t - but is still certainly nice to hear compared to the logline of the last 40 years.

* We're not going to see much of Lois or the Daily Planet crew due to that cosmic scale, so the purpose of the backups is to highlight them (and Sean Lewis won't be writing all of those).

* Asked about the contrast between Clark and Jon: Clark has seen and done it all and is really feeling the weight of his status as a veteran hero who’s been doing this forever at the start of this, especially with Jon literally growing up overnight. While not detracting with his incredible decency Jon’s going through a lot, under the pressure of only being who he is, having the opportunities and responsibilities and accomplishments he does, because of his dad even if he doesn't resent him at all. He doesn't want to be Superman in spite of being the unambiguous heir to the throne, both out of desire to be his own man and because that'd be predicated on losing his dad. He's also a bit of a mess because he's been hopping around time and space throughout his entire life, from literally day one with Convergence (conceived on one Earth, born on another, raised on another) and the shock of learning about his parents and then everything under Bendis; Johnson notes it's remarkable he's as put together as he is but he's feeling how he has no fixed sense of place or home.

* Asked about if the run is predicated in part on multiverse stuff he danced around the question.

* He reinforced again that there should be room for Clark and Jon ‘between the two books’.

The event with Mikel Janin on Action

* The event makes the universe "bigger and older" by expanding something PKJ considers underserved; it might affect other books but it's a Superman thing first and foremost.

* Asked about Power Girl he noted that while he doesn't have plans for her, she'd theoretically fit well in the event so it's not impossible she could show up.

Misc.

* The cover to Superman Annual #10 with The Sword of Superman was a big influence on PKJ's image of Superman as a kid, though he wasn't a huge fan of the story itself.

* He noted that with the "new multiverse setup" there's nothing stopping folks from writing a young Jon even while he's aged-up in what PKJ's writing.

* He listed Waid and Morrison as his favorite Superman writers, with an additional mention of how much he likes Ron Marz's take.

* Supergirl's going to have a bigger role going forward in the DCU, he's aware of plans for her in other books.

* Krypto won’t be in these :(

* He isn't writing Conner, he figures he isn't in the line for the Superman title in the same way as Jon nor does he struggle with the same identity issues because he's so effortlessly himself.

Without nullifying my concerns that he might screw it up - he’s had a pretty divided hit-miss-ratio from what I’ve seen, and there’s concerns that it could get decidedly jingoistic (hopefully the space focus will mitigate that) - he really sounds like he’s saying all the right things for me specifically. The idea of Jon lugging around the emotional load of going through pretty much every single Heroic Coming Of Age narrative rapid-fire is one I’ve had myself so I’m excited to see someone tackle that head-on (and this sure seems to be heading into him becoming Superman as I figured with the initial announcement and taking over that book proper. More specifically co-Superman, I think now DC’s gonna basically try and pull off a bunch of Miles Morales’s with him, Tim Fox, and Yara Flor, for better or worse), I love big-scale Superman adventures and mythology, he’s citing quality influences and seems to have a decent grasp on his two leads. God, maybe the Superman books will keep being good after all?

[queenattheopera]

Opening Number, Part 5

Prompt: This is the story of the band that skyrocketed beside Queen and how their singer was fated to be with one of them.

Warning: Cussing and implied smut

If you want to catch up with previous parts they’re linked on my Masterlist in my bio

January 1, 1971

If it weren’t for the enticing smell of food I don’t think I would’ve considered leaving my bed. Sitting up I could feel my head pounding. I grimsed and closed my eyes. I refused to move for a few seconds. I could feel the intense pounding in the back of my head, it me a few deep breaths to find some relief but i knew that wasn't going to last. So I tried to redirect my attention to recalling what happened last night.

I took some shots, danced with Fred, and then I made out with someone. I couldn't seem to remember who it was but I remember how their hands felt as they roamed my body. I remember their lips exploring just as much as their hands did. I remember the smell of alcohol in their breath and how intoxicating their scent was. I sighed and opened my eyes. The noise in the kitchen hadn't stopped but I was too nervous to see who was causing it.

Who do i want it to be?

As I pushed myself off my mattress, I was met with nothing but cold air. I pulled the comforter off the bed and wrapped myself with it. As I'm tried taking the first few steps away from the bed frame I began to limp. Sore could barely describe how my legs felt. As I try to move further the blanket gets caught on something, not caring enough to find out I decide to yank it. I heard something fall but it didn't sound broken so I continued to make my way towards the mysterious figure in my home. The closer I got the more anxious I became. I could feel my heart begin to race. As it sped up more and more, it was all I could hear. I was about to turn into the kitchen when they stepped out.

I froze and forced myself to make eye contact with the them.

“...Noah?”

“I was wondering when you would get out of bed.” My stomach dropped. I don't think i slept with him, right? Not that he's not attractive, but he's my best friend. “Are you okay? You left really early last night, I mean I don't think you got any sleep going from the bags under your eyes.” I don't want to look at him because I felt beyond embarrassed but I need to know what happened last night.

“Wait so we didn't..?” He was silent for a few seconds before beginning to laugh, “Wow you must have been fucked up if you really thought that we would ever do anything.I mean no offense-” Before he could finish I punch his shoulder. “Shut up!” I feel my face growing warmer but I was relieved that he wasn’t the open who I had slept with.

“What the hell are you doing here anyway?” He walks towards the dining room but I don't make any move to follow him. “Cmon, at least take a look to see what I did.” Rolling my eyes I begin to make my way over while trying to hide the extremely obvious limp with the comforter. I'm sure he noticed after he snorted but he didn't say anything.

“Ta-da! I made you a birthday breakfast!” Seeing the table setup my eyes begin to water. He had made all my favorite foods and there were even a few gifts in the corner of my room. I looked at him and he had the biggest proudest smile plastered on his face. He was admiring his work but his smile disappeared when he saw that I began to cry.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong? I mean I know it's just me but I remember you told me not to tell anyone else and that you usually celebrate alone. I just thought you would like this.” I laughed at his rambling and wiped the tears away.

“It’s fine Noah, It's actually perfect, I just haven't really had a party or anything since my parents passed away. I- um Thank you..” His demeanor changed, and instead of getting a look of pity, he smiles and gives me a hug. “Why don't you go clean up and get dressed so we could eat and you could open your gifts okay?” I nod and go back to my room.

Walking back towards my room I see a puddle, I guess when the blanket got stuck I had knock over a glass of water resting on my nightstand. Bending down to pick up the glass I find a piece of paper under my bed.

Sorry I couldn't stay love. Let me make it up to you. I’ll pick you up tonight around 9. -hbsdcbaib I reread the paper a few times, then I just stared at the smug as I tried to decipher whose name was written.

I want to scream. I feel nothing but anger towards myself. If I hadn't spilled that water on the note than I would have known exactly who the I slept with last night. Instead my lover is faceless.

There was nothing I could do but wait. I grab some clothes and head towards the bathroom. Before I entered, I let the blanket fall than close the door. I standing in front of the mirror I take in every detail. My eyes look much worse than to what Noah had led me to believe. Then there was my neck and chest. I was covered in bite marks and hickies. When I turned to step into the bath tub I could feel some tenderness in my hips. Looking down I see bruises, resembling someone's hands. When looking at my legs, I’m met with two more hickies.

Ignoring the achiness I take a hot shower. As I'm standing there I think back to last night. I remember the passion and roughness that my counterpart used. When he had me against the wall or when his head was between my legs. He was confident with very move. He worshiped my body. Together we fit like puzzle pieces. I could feel the heat between my legs begin to intensify. I push it away and finish my shower. After I'm dressed I look into the mirror. I know Noah has seen most the marks on my neck but I still had the urge to cover them. I grabbed some makeup and covered most of them. The others were too dark to hide so I grabbed a turtle neck from my closest and changed. Satisfied with eth look I walked back toward the dining room.

“Finally, do you know how hard it was to have all this food but not to be able to eat any of it.” I laugh and sit down across from him. I don't say anything as I grab a fork and stab the food in the plate. None of it ever makes it into my mouth a dn instead just gets moved around. I could feel Noah's concerned gaze on me but neither of say anything. He comes around the table and bends down to my height.

“Did something happen? If something did you don't have to tell me, but just know that I'm here for you. And if it was one of the guys, I swear I'll kill them.” I smile and roll my eyes. “No you won't, you'll have Em do it.” He laughs but he still looks worried. I sighed, i think back to last night. “I was um, um I was almost attacked last night.” I can't bring myself to look up at him, I was embarrassed, blaming myself for what could’ve happen.

“Who?” I look at him and i'm surprised by how intense his gaze his. A few tears slip out, my anxiety and stress had finally taken hold of the wheel. “Don’t worry about it, Im fine, it was nothing. Its what happened after. Roger saved me. Then Brian and John comforted me. Then i slept with someone and I don't even know how. They left a fucking note that I ruined so now I have no idea who it was from. I’m confused and I don't know what to do and my head hurts and -” I couldn't finish my sentence because I began to cry. Well I was actually sobbing. This only increased the pain I was feeling and it made me feel weak and powerless.

Noah holds me and doesn't say anything. He pulls away when I had started to calm down. “Its okay, it's going to be okay. Let's figure this out. You should eat, I'm going to call the gang and Freddie.”

After sitting there for a minute or two began to eat. I don't have much of an appetite but I forced myself to eat and drink a glass of water. When Noah came back he cleaned up and began to hide the gifts. I silently thanked him for still considering how I felt about my birthday. Just as we had finished cleaning up there was a knock at the door. It must have been Fred because everyone else had a key.

I walked towards the order. I was happy when I noticed that i could walk normally despite the ache. When I opened the door the first thing Freddie did was gasp. “Oh you poor thing! Come here love.” Freddie pulled me into a hug. I guess the crying made my makeup run and that's why he gasped. He didn’t say anything. All he did was shush me an rub my back. It was actually really comforting. When I pulled away freddie began to fix my hair. I smiled softly before taking his hand off my hair. I led him inside. “Thanks for coming Freddie, I'm sorry if you were busy, we shouldn't have called.” I didn't want to be another and I wasn't feeling my best. Frankly I didn't have the energy to be my usually bubbly self. “Nonsense darling, I'll always be here for you.” He rubs my shoulder and gives me the biggest smile.

“Alright love, since we dont know whos coming to pick you up, let's get you dolled up.”

“Lets get her comfortable first, Y/n, we know youre probably aren't feeling up to anything right now so here's what we're gonna do. You're going to take some pain medication, take a nap then we'll get you ready okay.” Emily had let herself in and was beginning to take charge. Usually Fred and her would annoy each other but after their silent communication Freddie turned to me and smiled. “She's right love, get some rest.” I looked between the too and nodded. Once I was in my room I began to run last night over and over again. I felt stupid, I got drunk last night for a reason, now I'll have to live with the haunting my actions for the rest of my life.

“Hey y/n, Em told me to give this to you.” Charlie handed me the medicine and sat at the foot of my bed. “I know how you are. I know you're blaming yourself right now but I also know that it's not. You're okay. We're here for you.” I took the pills and nodded. “Thank you.”

In the next few hours while I slept, my house guests cleaned and prepared everything for me. They had set aside an outfit they knew I would like and they spoke about how they would help me feel better.

When I woke up my headache was alleviated and I felt more nervous than ever. I stood up to find an outfit set hanging on my closet door. I put it on and reapplied my make-up. When i walked out of my bedroom I found the gang in my living room playing scrabble.

“Y/n you're up!” I walk to them and Noah gets up and offers me his spot. He then walks away. I turn to the others looking for soe response as to what they're doing.

“It's your turn.” When i look u at them, i realize they are speaking to me. I make a calculated move. Noah comes back with some tea. They don't bring up anything from yesterday and instead play a friendly game of scrabble. Their passive actions put me at ease. I became so focused on the game I forgot about yesterday. It was what Emilly planed. They distracted me, they took my focus away from all the bad and gave me a moment of peace.

Before I knew it, t was 8:50. “Alright y/n, your dates gonna get be here but were going to be in the bedroom. They’ll be here soon. I know you're going to be nervous, but if you ever feel uncomfortable, just know we're here for you.” “Yes darling, and if any of the boys do anything, then ill kick their arses. You know I was pretty good boxer.” I smile and nod. “Thank you, I mean in.” I pull Em and Fred into hug. Charlie and Noah don't hesitate to join. I watch as they walk into the bedroom and close the door. I take deep breaths but I could feel myself getting nervous all over again. I'll admit it's not as bad as before but I was still really anxious. I was spacing in the living room while trying to relax.

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door. I was frozen and I stopped breathing for a second. When they knocked again I let out my the breath I was holding in. I moved cautiously towards the door. I unlocked the door and put my hand on the doorknob. Here goes nothing.

Tag list: @smile-nine @phantom-fangirl-stuff @fantasticchaoticwho @cosmicsskies @triggeredpossum

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.13: “Lebanon”

THEN: They hit me right in the face with gorgeous young 1.01 Dean saying "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and beautiful baby 1.01 Sam saying "we've got work to do" and we end with 14.12 and Sam furiously punching his brother and then furiously hugging him and Dean saying "let's go home" and does anything else matter? No.

NOW: We see the reflection of Sam and Dean walking up to a pawn shop, with a nice selection of guitars and sunglasses and that weird monkey that was in Rocky's Bar. The proprietor seems friendly enough. Dean flashes him a wad of hundred dollar bills because they're looking for "the really good stuff." This gains them admittance into a secret back room full of things hunters would be interested in, including a hockey mask (?) and a perfume atomizer full of dragon's breath. They tell the guy they're looking for the skull of a specific woman who was executed during the Salem witch trials, and the fact that he has it basically proves that he killed the friend of theirs who previously owned it. (Also Sam picks up a teddy bear and starts to pull the string to make it speak and the guys warns him not to and this is Dean's role, isn't it, messing with things he shouldn't be messing with? But I don't care because chastized Sam and eye-rolly Dean are precious to me.)

Sam goes through a ledger of the guy's inventory and says he's got a lot of occult objects that they should take with them. (Dean plays with the dragon's breath. Sam ducks and flinches and does the really, Dean? thing with his hands and face. I laugh again.) Dean agrees they should take the stuff home.

Title card!

The Impala zooms past a sign welcoming us to Lebanon, Geographical Center of the USA. Then we find ourselves in front of a movie theater showing Beetlejuice and Hell Hazers (All Saints' Day is coming soon, and I imagine Route 666 can't be far behind), where a group of teenagers is talking about... somebody. "People say they're brothers," a kid in a knit cap says, "but all I know is, I was standing right here, and I heard this bam from the trunk of their car. And then, this like, shallow breathing." I'm pretty sure this is a fake-out, and it will turn out he's talking about someone else, but the Impala pulls up in front of the theater and Knit Cap Kid says "that's them!"

As the Winchesters get out of the car and enter a liquor store (decorated with that Family Business neon sign from Rocky's), Sam is still reading the ledger, which lists things like a hangman's rope, fairy dust, and John Wayne Gacy's cigar box. Well, that's oddly specific! The guy working there greets the "Campbell brothers" and knows their usual order. Oh, wow. I love that they're actually known in Lebanon, and that they're going by Campbell. And we know that actual Lebanon, Kansas is too small to have a movie theater or this much business downtown, but I'm happy to handwave that.

What do you mean, "happy to handwave that?" You're always complaining about the inaccuracies regarding tiny Lebanon having traffic cams and whatnot.

Well, maybe this episode just MAKES ME HAPPY, okay?

Anyway. Sam thinks cataloguing the confiscated items would be a good way to take Dean's mind off "things," but Dean's pretty convinced nothing will ever take his mind off that.

Outside, the teens are asking where the guys even come from, and what about their weird trenchcoat-wearing sidekick, and "that kid with the dumb Bambi look on his face all the time" (!) One girl says that, whatever the deal is with these guys, they do have an awesome car, and no one can argue with that. And the other girl, Max, who seems to smitten with the first girl, gets an idea.

Inside, Sam has discovered something significant in the ledger - the "beyzoo" (no, I know that's not how you spell it), which is one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. A pearl that gives you "what your heart desires." Oooh, getting rid of Michael, maybe? But as the guys are discussing this, Dean sees the Impala drive by the window. Guess Max figured out how to impress that other girl! (BTW, there are couple of COOL old trucks on the street.)

The guys see Knit Cap Kid standing on the sidewalk looking confused, and while Sam tells him the car is dangerous to whoever stole it, Dean looks like he wants to murder someone. And yet the Winchesters are confused when the kid says he doesn't want to die. (Or get locked in the trunk!) He says Max is new and he doesn't know where she lives. Dean raises a fist, but Sam pulls him away.

MURDER. I'D MURDER THEM.

Post office. There's a poster of stamps featuring old cars behind the customer service counter. I'm really getting my old truck fix tonight. Sam comes in with his sweet anxious smile and asks for help finding the girl who washed his car, since he forgot to tip her. Post Office Lady is not amused or helpful, or the least bit swayed by his sweet anxious smile. Then Dean comes in and calls her by name and asks about her grandson and she MELTS and he gets sincere and puts his hand on hers and she does exactly what I would do, which is offer up ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING AT ALL, WOULD YOU LIKE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WHILE I'M AT IT? Unfortunately, all she knows is where Max's mother works.

SAM’S FACE.

(Sidebar: Have I mentioned that Sam is wearing that nice blue jacket from the episode where he killed the alpha vampire? I like it. Toss that stupid orange jacket, Sam, and wear this more often. And Dean's wearing the black jacket that I always love.)

At the restaurant where Max's mom works, we learn that she has no idea where her daughter is, because she was supposed to be in school. But the guy working in the kitchen knows February 7 is Skip Day (is it always February 7? what about when that falls on a weekend?) and that she'll probably be at a party at this old house on Route 36. (Yes, I did confirm that Route 36 is just outside of Lebanon. Yes, I did use Mapquest. I'm old school up in here, y'all.)

Party house. The little batch of delinquents has taken all the boxes of occult objects out of the Impala for some reason. Including the evil teddy bear. Luckily, someone announces "pizza's here" before a girl pulls the teddy bear's string. At some point I've got to find out what would happen if you pulled it. Fic it for me, friends! (Also, I just noticed the teddy bear's mouth is SEWN SHUT and that's not creepy AT ALL.) The camera slowly pans to a wooden box, and we watch the lid open to reveal a smoky/dusty ghost hand. With a ruffled sleeve. Uh oh.

Knit Cap Kid runs in to warn the partiers that "those guys" are looking for Max, and he's told to chill. Another teen goes into the bathroom, where the mirror frosts over and then the CREEPIEST CLOWN EVER comes out of it. Seriously, creepier than the clown in Plush, which you wouldn't think was possible.

The Winchesters pull up in yet another antique truck, where Dean greets his car with "Baby, Baby, please tell me you're not hurt." Sam's more concerned about the boxes of dangerous occult objects missing from the back seat. Ghost Kid comes running outside and the girl following him tells the brothers that he saw a clown ghost that tried to kill him. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe Sam has a flash of crap, a killer clown ghost expression before they run into the house.

Dean announces they're FBI and everyone needs to get out, now. Once the room is cleared, he asks if "anything screams clown to you?" Sam immediately notices John Wayne Gacy's cigar box and guys, I'm ashamed to say I didn't put the two together until now. The killer clown ghost is John Wayne Gacy. And Sam is freaked the fuck out about it. "We should burn that right now," Dean says, in a lovely holding-in-the-freakout way, and Sam rushes to throw it into the fireplace. Then Dean says "I mean, this is like a best worst thing that's ever happened, because you love serial killers, but you hate clowns" and I'm DEAD. (I'm also loving TWO gifts from the Continuity Fairy in once sentence.) The lights start flashing before Sam can get his lighter lit, and then the killer clown ghost shows up and tosses Dean around. Knit Cap Kid and the girls run back inside just in time to watch John Wayne Gacy's ghost go up in flames. So the kids get the "monsters are real" speech and are told to keep it secret.

Back at the bunker, Sam's going through the occult goodies and thinks he found the magic pearl. Dean's ready to use it right now, and dismisses Sam's suggestion that they call Mary or Cas. If it doesn't work, he doesn't want to have gotten their hopes up. Sam looks distressed at the idea it won't work, but agrees. The pearl doesn't come with any instructions, so Sam suggests Dean hold it and concentrate on what his heart desires. "Michael out of my head," Dean says, and I'd have been more specific. I'd have concentrated on Michael out of my head and destroyed, and me perfectly fine, but, well, what do I know?

(Also, I KNOW all you Wincest and Destiel fans are gonna have your own ideas about what - or who - appears in front of Dean when he’s granted what his heart desires. This setup is better than sex pollen. Have fun, my kinky little friends.)

Dean clutches the pearl and concentrates, and the lights flash and then go out, and in the red emergency light we see someone in the bunker. Someone fighty, who knocks both brothers down and then pulls out a shotgun and says "don't you move," but it's a familiar voice and then the lights come on and what do you know? Winchester Surprise!

So, was anybody truly surprised? I covered the guest stars on first viewing, as I always try to do, but I noticed on rewatch that they didn't even credit JDM at the beginning of the episode. Which they sometimes do, to avoid spoilers. And yet. Has there been a single episode of this series that was more spoiled? I don't think so.

(Sidebar: What do you think would have happened if Sam had taken the pearl and made a wish? I think Michael would be gone. Because I don't think there's anything Sam wants more than saving his brother.)

Back to our story. Everyone is shocked. John thinks Sam should be in Palo Alto, apparently in his 14th year of post graduate work. He thinks he's still in 2003, and he doesn't notice his boys are older. And they apparently don't notice that his hair is very short and a lot greyer than it was when we last saw him. (I mean, really, they slapped a wig on Samantha Smith to make her look like The Last Version Of Mary, so why couldn't they do the same thing with JDM? It's distracting.) Sam figures they must have accidentally summoned John from the past. So they do what one does in this situation - sit down and drink.

John's astonished. Dean's proud. Sam's visibly anxious. We don't get to see exactly how much of the backstory they tell him, but they do tell him about the apocalypse and Lucifer and living with "an angel and Lucifer's kid." And now John thinks he died "taking out Yellow Eyes," which... not really? But okay. And they don't tell him Mary's back, until he mentions her and Sam's, all, yeah, about Mom, and then she comes in and John hears her voice and tears up and dammit. This reunion is everything I didn't think I ever wanted. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a fan of John Winchester. He's a fascinating character and JDM does a great job with him, but he's such an awful father (don't bother arguing with me, you will not change my mind) that I can't really like him. And I'm not too impressed with resurrected Mary, either. But when these two come together... damn. It's good. It's very good. Well done, you two.

I love that the boys give them some privacy, because it's been over a decade since John saw them, but it's been even longer since he saw his dead wife, and this should really be a John and Mary reunion.

Out in the hall, Dean's gleeful and Sam's all, how the hell did this happen? Dean explains that he's wanted this since he was four years old (oh, my heart) but Sam warns that messing with time will not end well. I don't actually remember Sam being that concerned about the unintended consequences of time travel, but I'm sure there's a good reason he's bringing it up now. Dean doesn't care. Dean just wants one family dinner together (oh, my heart again, remembering his one last dinner with Mary).

Sam, sans Dean, runs into John in the library, because Mary's off making a shopping list and he decided he'd rather examine the bunker than be involved in that I guess? Okay. But then this happens.

I screwed up with you a lot, didn't I?

No, that's okay.

No, it's not. Sammy, tell me the truth.

I don't want to talk about that.

You didn't have a problem talking about it before you left.

Dad. For me, that fight, that was a lifetime ago. I don't even remember what I said. I mean, yeah, you know, you did some messed-up things. But I don't... I mean, when I think about you... and I think about you a lot... I don't think about our fights. I think about you... I think about you on the floor of that hospital, and I think about how I never got to say goodbye.

Sam. Son. I am so sorry.

I'm sorry too. But you did your best, Dad. You fought for us, and you loved us. And that's enough.

OH MY GOD. This is everything I ever wanted.

1. John admitting he was a crap parent to Sam.

2. Sam trying to sidestep that - because he's Sam Winchester and that's what he does - and John not letting him.

3. Sam finally calling him out instead of just saying nah, it's fine.

4. John calling him Sammy.

5. Sam pointing out that he didn't get a goodbye from John. (Did he ever find out that Dean got praise and an apology?)

6. John apologizing.

7. Sam forgiving him.

8. "And I think about you a lot."

9. The way Sam keeps having to stop talking and look away and make that little "hmmm" noise.

10. And the tears.

10b. The way Sam tears up even before The Talk, when he remembers them as kids trying to make Winchester Surprise.

11. The shaky voice.

12. And Sam's shirt.

13. And the way Sam's expression looks so much like his expression in Sacrifice, when he tells Dean that his confession was about how he let his brother down.

This, right here, is two minutes and 24 seconds of the best television I've ever seen. I don't care what else this episode does, this 2:24 is worth it. And yes, this is three weeks in a row that Jared Padalecki has ripped my heart out of my chest and STOMPED ON IT.

And I love it.

Meanwhile, Dean gets the shopping list from Mary. Sam finds him and tells him he's right, because Sam also just got everything he ever wanted, and then offers to go shopping with him. (Saaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!)

When they get to town, the guys split up - Sam to the grocery store, Dean to the liquor store. Dean's surprised to see the liquor store guy, the one who remembered his "usual" earlier in the day, has no idea who he is. If Dean had ever seen "It's a Wonderful Life," he might say this is just like when George Bailey goes into Martini's Bar and isn't recognized. But apparently Dean Winchester, pop culture aficionado, has never seen that movie (no, I haven't gotten over that, and I never will) so he doesn't recognize a classic uh oh, we changed the course of history moment when he experiences it.

Meanwhile, Sam steps out of the grocery store and finds that neither Max nor the postal clerk recognize him. And then he sees a wanted poster in the post office window. Dean Winchester, wanted for assault, murder, and credit card fraud. Whoops! He trots to the car, where Dean is waiting, and tells him they have a problem. "Yeah, we do," says Dean. "Check this out."

He shows Sam his phone and it's a video of SAM IN GLASSES AND A BLACK TURTLENECK AND SLICKED BACK HAIR GIVING A TED TALK. HE RUNS A LAW FIRM AND LOVES KALE. IT IS THE SECOND MOST AMAZING THING I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.

HE'S STEVE JOBS.

So, those of you who were spoiled... did you know about this? Or did they actually keep THIS AMAZING THING under wraps?

Sam Jobs tells his audience that being your best leaves no time for hobbies or a family, and Sam has seen enough. He tells Dean about the wanted poster, and Dean says yes, of course he googled himself too ("a lot of beheadings," hee!!!) and wonders if there are alternate versions of them running around. Sam thinks it's a "temporal paradox," and time is self-correcting, changing to the new one. If they don't fix things, they'll become those alternate versions of themselves. "Well, I'm cool," Dean says, "but you're, ugh." Sam's less worried about them, and more worried about what else might have changed.

(Sidebar: You know, I could quibble about why bringing John forward in time has such a significant butterfly effect, but bringing Mary back, and their other time travel, and Henry's time travel, changed nothing. I absolutely could. But I choose not to, because SAM JOBS, Y'ALL. But okay, let's think about it. 2003 John would have disappeared while Sam was at Stanford. Dean wouldn't have gone to get Sam. Or Sam would have refused to go. Maybe the hurt on both sides was still too fresh. Maybe that's why Dean's hunting alone, and Sam's an internet-famous lawyer.)

What else has changed, you might ask? How about ZACHARIAH? That's right, my favorite angel is back. And with him is ORIGINAL FLAVOR CAS WITH HIS FLUFFY HAIR AND THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. Zachariah calls him "Constantine" and Castiel says "I don't understand that reference" and THANK YOU BABY JESUS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS, BUT THANK YOU. They enter Max's mom's restaurant and ask who's been messing with time. (Because she would know?) And if they don't start talking, he'll have Cas murder all of them. "My name is Castiel," he intones solemnly. "I'm an angel of the Lord." YES YOU ARE. He reveals himself like he did to Dean (no, not like that, jeez) with the shadow wings. Outside, the Winchesters see the bright light of an angelic reveal coming through the restaurant windows, and they know something's up.

They herd everyone out of the restaurant, and are shocked to see Cas and Zachariah. Zachariah is equally surprised to see them. He says they had big plans for the Winchesters, but then their father disappeared and... and he doesn't finish, so we'll never know why yoinking John out of 2003 changed any of that vessel stuff. (Handwave!) Cas, of course, doesn't know them, and when Zachariah orders him to kill them, he complies.

Dean pulls out an angel blade but is, of course, unwilling to actually kill Cas, so he starts hitting him with other things. And Cas, for whatever reason, doesn't just put a finger on his forehead and kill him dead. (Handwave!) Zachariah chokes Sam and asks him what they did, even though he can't talk because he's choking (handwave!) and Sam acts like he's trying to speak so Zachariah gets closer to hear him, and Sam stabs him with an angel blade. Cas continues fistfighting with both of them, and slams Sam head-first into a table a couple of times, leaving him spitting blood on the floor. Which Sam uses to paint an angel-banishing sigil while Cas is choking Dean. Smart Sam for the win!

Bunker. Pretty bruised Dean has explained the temporal paradox, and John accepts that he has to go back, or else Mary will probably disappear. "Okay," he says. "I mean, me versus your mom, that's not even a choice." DAMMIT JOHN WINCHESTER DO NOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU. Elsewhere, pretty bruised Sam explains it to Mary, and tells her John won't remember anything.

John tells Dean he never meant Dean to have this kind of life. He's proud of him, but he hoped he'd be able to have a normal life, with a family. "I have a family," Dean says. They sit down and have one final family meal together, and everyone's quiet and sad until John points out that they can either think about what's going to happen, or appreciate what they have right now. They cheer up and listen to Bob Seger (well, we listen to Bob Seger) and talk and laugh and have the family dinner Dean has always wanted.

Later, while doing the dishes, Sam says how unfair it is that they all had this and then have to throw it away, and John has to go back to being Dad. He thinks it would be nice for John to go back knowing what he knows now. "I used to think that too," Dean says, and admits that he's blamed both John and Mary for their crappy lives. And if they could send him back to 2003, or even earlier, maybe none of the crap would happen. "But here's the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I gotta be honest, I don't know who that Dean Winchester is. And I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are."

Later. Mary and John are holding hands, and I guess they're doing the thing now. I'd hoped they'd at least let these two have one last roll in the hay (especially since I'm pretty sure Mobby is permanently done after this), but no. They have a very sweet goodbye and their sons are brokenhearted and I am too. John tells his boys to take care of each other and Sam says "we always do." That's a nice change from telling Dean to take care of Sam, isn't it? He tells them both (BOTH) that he's proud of them and loves them, and they have a three-way hug and Sam wipes his eyes and Dean says "love you too" and I REALLY CAN'T, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Then John takes Mary's hand again and Sam crushes the pearl (why does Sam have to be the one to do it?) and John glows and then fades away.

We get a quick glimpse of downtown Lebanon returning to normal, and the three teens talking about how cool it is that "those guys hunt monsters," and then we're back to the bunker. Cas walks in the door and sees the remaining Winchesters, obviously distressed, and asks what happened. "Well, there's a story," says Dean.

And finally, we see the Impala WITH HER ORIGINAL KANSAS PLATE. John's asleep in the driver's seat when he gets a phone call from Dean. "No, I'm okay, I just had one hell of a dream. No, it was a good one."

GUYS. GUYS.

When I heard there was going to be a musical episode for the 200th, I was sure it would suck. When I heard about the Scooby Doo crossover, I cringed, because I knew it would be awful. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO WRONG.

Eh, who cares why. Let's just appreciate what we were given. Happy 300, my friends. Here's to 300 more.

(Please help me stay unspoiled for future episodes, thanks!)

[pbandjesse]

I love my scarf so much. I did not actually wear it outside at the house. I wear a jacket. But I've had that scarf on pretty much all day. It is the best scarf even if it sheds a lot.

Today was a good day I did not accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish but I did a lot. I slept really well last night. Had very bizarre dreams. But I got up and felt good. I woke up and had biscuits for breakfast. Got dressed and walk to the grocery store. I brought my grandma card and bought lots of food for the week. I am trying to eat at home more this week. Especially since my hours are very weird. I wandered around for a bit and then went home. I am packed everything and then I had it over to Eddie's to get a couple things I can't get at streets Market. I biked over to Eddie's though and was only there for a couple minutes. I still need to get milk and I'll probably have to get eggs at some point but for now it's fine. I used my heart boiled egg cooker to while I was gone and didn't check the eggs but I'm assuming they're okay. I'm very excited about my hard-boiled egg maker though and I really hope that I can figure out the best time frame to leave them in there to cook.

Once I got everything unpacked I made lunch. I rested for a little while and made some plans. And then I headed out to go catch the bus. I left a little bit earlier than I really need to because I wanted to get the earlier bus just in case. I think I am going to be able to get away with getting the 12:30 bus. But just so that I get used to when I'm getting off going 20 minutes early. It's nice that that bus runs so often though.

It was nice and sunny out. There's a chill in the air but I was never uncomfortable or anything. In either direction. Hot or cold. I had a nice talk with an old man at the bus stop. And then the bus came. And it was a nice ride. It's like a 25-minute ride and it's very comfortable. I got up to Wildwood and like I said I was like a half an hour early. So I walked around the neighborhood.

The neighborhood very much reminds me of Mayfair in Philadelphia. It's mostly row houses with little front yards. Lot of Old Stone. In the direct neighborhood it's all houses in churches. There's not even a corner store. I think maybe at some point I'll try to wander out a little bit farther and see if there's somewhere to eat. Now that I really plan on it but just in case something happens and I have to get something close by.

When I got there Fitsum was already there and said that Tiffany wasn't in yet. So we sat in the waiting room and talked. We accidentally both were wearing the same outfit. Well not exactly. We're both wearing brown jackets and are in shirts. And I made us laugh. It seems like we are going to be together but it's still unclear at this point. I hope we do though because he's a sweetheart. Tiffany came and found us because it turned out she was there. But it was no big deal. We went back to your office and did a bunch of paperwork. Went through how are lesson plan is going to work. And I feel so excited about it. I was pretty nervous at first but now that all my questions are answered I'm like excited. And I have so many ideas. I've written 8 months of vague themes and topics in my tablet. I think I'm just going to keep everything on my Google Drive since now I paid for it for the year anyway. I was considering getting a Chromebook since I'm going to have to be doing a lot of writing. But instead since my tablet doesn't work very well I just decided to buy a Bluetooth keyboard for it. So that should be here on Thursday. And then I can actually do my lesson plans for real. I feel very excited.

We just did a lot of going through packets and making sure all of our paperwork was good and it was just nice to be able to honestly answer questions and not have to feel silly for wanting clarity. I got my direct deposit setup and we have to take 15 hours of professional development courses over the school year. And so she help me setup my account for that. And I was able to get into the CPR first aid training class on Friday morning. So I get my first three hours of PD in and I'm excited to have that certificate my record. Even though it was a little bit of a hassle trying to figure out how to make an account for some reason. They make it like all secret like.

After we finished all of her paperwork and spent a lot of time discussing how things go. We did another walk around the building. This time we actually got to meet the other teachers that we may be working with or will be the team with the 5th graders. They were both really nice and I would be equally as excited to work with them. I think it might be nice though to have a blank slate with the new class with fitsum and there won't be a weird power Dynamic there. Of having a current teacher and a new teacher. But regardless the students were there too. They were all so sweet. They liked my jacket and they asked me if I could teach him how to sew and they asked me about other different projects that they were interested in doing. And it was just so cool they were so engaged and so sweet. I'm really excited to get to work with them. There was a couple big personalities but in the best ways. I'm very excited for this opportunity. I really think that this is going to be the exact thing I've been looking for. The rest of my jobs and lives are going to have to sort themselves out. Maybe I'll slow down my work at the BMI and take my mornings for myself. Or maybe I won't and maybe I'll still do exactly what I'm doing now. I just don't want to burn out. I want to really enjoy being able to teach and museums and do all the things that I do. But today really made me excited for going forward.

Fitsum was nice enough to give me a ride again. I'm going to have to figure out a way to tell him I will give him money. Because him giving me a ride back is saving me like $16 every time. It's like even if I throw him like 20 bucks a week or something. It would be worth it to me. You also just lose them walking into my apartment though so I think he just it is being kind and just giving you rides. But I don't want to take advantage he's so nice. I really just hope that we become friends too cuz I think he's a really cool guy. He was telling me some about working in Ethiopia and the culture there. And I'm curious to learn more.

Once I got home I have kind of a going back and forth doing things all night. I watched the new Shane Dawson documentary series. And I ate snacks. I've been eating snacks all night. I work in my studio for a while. I played with the new Furbys. They both had some corrosion inside of them from their batteries leaking so I had to clean that up with vinegar. But they're both working just fine and they were chatting with each other. They do make that high-pitched screeching sound that I read about. So I may take them apart and disconnect the wires. Honestly I might disconnect all of their speaking wires because I'm not super a fan of their voices. But I still think they're very cute. I like the way that they move they're very active. So I think painting with them is going to be really interesting.

I talked to James for a little while he's at his apartment having a D&D night. I think I just have too much social anxiety to participate. I told him I would be a guest are at some point but I just don't know if I could play with them and feel comfortable enough to do it. But we'll see I don't know. I like doing it one on one with James that one time though I hope we can do that again cuz I did enjoy that.

I did fall down the stairs. I hurt my hand a little bit but I'm okay. I mostly just scared me. I took a shower and wash my hair. And it's just chilling at my apartment and I'm wearing Chenille socks and leggings and I feel very cozy. I think I'm going to switch my stuff for work into my new work tote bag. That I have gotten from my causebox. It's such a pretty bag and I think it's going to be perfect for carrying all my papers and things. And it stands so I feel like if it gets paint on it and stuff it'll be cool. I think now though I'm going to start winding down for bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow and try to get some more done. And then I have to go over to Northern Parkway to get my fingerprints done for the city to get an ID and a background check. And then I have to go to Wildwood at 12:30 for staff meeting. I'm very excited for that I think it's going to be very fun. I'm excited too more formally meet everyone. So I hope it's just another really nice day. I hope you guys all have a great night and sleep well. Be safe out there. Be kind

[mybodyliberation]

Scottish Wedding Show - These Are My Thoughts

Truthfully it's truly majestic to have wedding and event decor all in one place. If you love the stuff then wedding fayres are one of the lost exciting places to get your fix.

If you're like me then you adore fawning over charger plates, weighing the benefits if artificial verses real flowers and drooling over prop tables filled with catering spread ideas.

Theres something magical about the experience of that but reality started to bleed into the dream as I walked around the Scottish Wedding Shows stalls last weekend and came face to face with vendors pushing invasive cosmetics, weightloss programs and bridal stalls using models in the smallest sample sizes that didn't reflect the brides make myself wondering around the space.

Firstly I want to say that I think its brilliant that Scotland as a wedding fayre of this size because its important that there are accessible events that serve Scottish brides. It would be ridiculous to expect them to travel for hours down south just in order to experience and encounter the variety they deserve to have.

However this is the problem I had. It felt like a lot of the setup of the day wasnt about providing insulation for couples, but giving them standards to aspire to that are about impossible standards and aesthetic. The first thing I clocked and what I usually clock was the lack of racial diversity. In models and clientele.

My OH and I were certainly the only interracial couple I saw present on the day and I certainly didn't bump into any other women of colour nor see any vendors that accommodated the needs of brides of colour and their electric heritages.

This was disappointing as there is a hugely incredible Asian wedding industry within Scotland and I at least expected to see vendors that reflected this in either event planning, venue or makeup artistry.

Now for all I know the producers of the SWS have sought them out, but how much was done to make sure there was representation for people of colour? This isn't an accusation as much as a genuine question. What was done and was this even important do the organisers?

If it takes a person or colour to keep pointing out that we need more representation we are honestly never going to see change because you see it's all of our responsibilities to ensure that we create spaces that reflect the diverse world we live in.

If we are not striving to be as inclusive as possible and ensuring that as many of us feel welcome to these sorts of events then who is it for?

So honestly I would love for that to be addressed and I would love to go to the next show witnessing a genuine change.

One of the other things that irked me, as I mentioned, was the weightloss and invasive cosmetic treatment stalls.

Now I want to take a moment to acknowledge that each person's choices are there own. If you want to change yourself because of whatever reasons that is truly your prerogative and honestly we support your happiness.

As long as we also acknowledge that true happiness can be found in transforming are outside appearance but in the internal work of healing and accepting our authentic selves.

I also don't think theres anything wrong with wanting to look good nay, your best, on your wedding day, but that doesn't just start from the external things you try.

Okay.

That being said, it would be naive to not recognise that in a world where the media bombards us with images of "what's beautiful" that that's not going to affect how we see ourselves.

Imagine a person getting ready for their wedding who already struggles with their self esteem and self worth, walking into a space that is meant to help accommodate creating their dream day, and being met with the harsh message of YES, consider losing weight because fatness is bad and YES consider cosmetic treatment or surgery because something about you isnt good enough and can be changed.

Why should the message be affirming that there is something wrong with you? When the message should be affirming that you are already wonderful, your partner knows that and that's why they want to marry you and that's why you're planning a wedding.

I think its dangerous when we are curating these events and promising the facilitation of a genuinely positive experience and yet still buying into these toxic and systematically broken standards and ideals that have been oppressing us for so long.

We all want to feel special and look awesome on our wedding day, but life before and after the day shouldn't be consumed by trying to fit a certain size or having to sacrifice who you are to become some wedding "version" of yourself. I'd love to see wedding fayres like SWS encouraging the pursuit of authenticity.

Okay lastly...body diversity. Where is it at!? If I was a business, especially bridal or groom swear, and I know that vast range of bodies come to me hoping to be dressed, I would actively work to provide visual representations of what items will look like on similar bodies. I saw a total of 2 stalls, maybe I missed some, that offered bridal and actually had plus size gowns on display. This means that either most boutiques don't have them or they won't display them because they want you to know that these dresses are aspirational. You want to look like "this" on the wedding day because that's what a bride looks like. How is that possible because brides comes in so many diverse forms that its offensive to send a message that says you be able bodied, under a size 10 and white. Dont get me wrong, if you fall into this category, you're wonderful and you shouldn't feel shamed, but we must remember that this is not the only form beauty comes in. We cannot continue to sell fantasies that's sole purpose is to ensure the continued tearing down of self esteem and the upholding of toxic patriarchal systems. We had a peaceful time knowing we have planned what we needed to but were open to seeing extras. Side note if you're nearly engaged this particular exercise of shopping via fayres could potentially be very overwhelming. I feel blessed to have entered into wedding planning confident in myself and in my relationships and our financial position because I didn't feel any shame because I can't fit a size 8 wedding dress and I can't afford a £5k venue.

I want to end things on a bright note and said I did still thoroughly enjoy the experience. There are a lot of things there that provide genuinely great inspiration and if you take that away and do some research you could either book a vendor you met there or figure out how to do it cost effectively yourself.

So if you're visiting fayres and you're looking for the magic, I just want to tell you something - you are the magic.