#dettlaff in his 100's

[rheusia]

dettlaff! but like 250 years younger than he was in blood and wine yehe

[eycsnow666]

Hey! You asked me, and I love these sort of games, so I'm paying it forward.

If you want to do the character aske, I'd ask for your take on Geralt of Rivia 🥰

ah Geralt, my beloved most neutral witcher and bestest monster killer in all the land (/s ^^)

Sexuality Headcanon: once upon a time, a young Geralt fancied himself strictly as a woman’s man, and that his same sex dalliances w other witchers were simply bc of lonely nights in Kaer Morhen. Until he left KM and found himself not averse to bedding women and men alike. Life is full of surprises and sometimes they are children, sometimes the discovery that cock is prettty good. And since life as a witcher is Toil and Labour, he wasn’t about to over-complicate smth he personally had no objections with just because some rando noble might be uncomfortable. Quite the useful attitude for a witcher living on the outskirts of civilisation, so that worked out for him.

This is just my hc for a TW3 timeline with overt homophobia, based on the encounter with Mislav. Because CDPR have proven themselves cowards by not showing a single dick in the entirety of the games and therefore cannot be 100% trusted with canon, I like to also imagine another where homophobia is less prominent (and non-existent in most regions) where geralt is…exactly the same. no fucks given except for in bed ;)

Gender Headcanon: a cis man, and pragmatic and doesn’t give a hoot if prudes shake their heads at his gender non-conforming habits. if a warm, comfy article of clothing in his possession happens to be a dress, it’s being worn, and how majestic. he knows how to braid hair, bc it doesn’t hurt to know how. Bonus: kid!Ciri adored him for it. Besides, gender-coding things sounds like an Other People kinda problem, and he is but a simple witcher with potions to brew and blades to oil, so…

A ship I have with said character: Geralt/Emhyr is my current obsession💖 Geralt/Regis and Geralt/Dettlaff are two close faves. All simultaneously within the same timeline bc my blorbos love to share

A BROTP I have with said character: a begrudging understanding between Geralt and Mererid, whose dislike of Geralt rose exponentially when he heard of Emhyr taking on Geralt as a lover. But Geralt worked some magic (read: really good sex and perhaps some axii for the nerves) to make emhyr’s mood do a 180 or maybe just a 90, he’s still a grump sometimes

and mererid was like, ‘you. you can stay.’

A NOTP I have with said character: none particularly? m8 if I encounter a ‘squick’ ship (think themes of incest for example) that’s also well-crafted, count me in for eating the dead dove

Random headcanons:

The only time he seriously reassessed his sex life was: 1) after falling for Regis, and even then it was more bc of the mental image of Papa Vesemir scolding him that he was meant to fight, not fuck this creature, and 2) falling for Emhyr, but then he seriously contemplated many other things too…

No way is he not a good cook what with those witcher-level potion brewing skills and olfactory senses

he has really nice hands! when they’re not encrusted with monster gore, anyway. and he takes good care of them too

General Opinion over said character: one of my fave things abt his character is that even though he’s pushing 100, he’s still a big awkward turtle. and also that his hero complex pulls him in directions he wouldn’t intentionally go makes him even more fun (see: every single bit of politics shenanigans his allegedly neutral arse gets swept into). I love him. my babygirl.

that was fun, thanks for the ask!!

[namesonboats]

How I imagine the Witcher guys are in bed.

This is 100% for fun. I have a sick brain ok?

Geralt

No need to really wonder what he’s like in bed because we’ve all seen it. A lot. He’s obviously a moaner, which is nice.

Lambert

Lambert looks like the kind of guy who would fuck you with the speed of a sewing machine, and afterwards, he’d be like “how’d you like that” and you’d reply “I think I need a vagina transplant” and he’d smile thinking it was a compliment but you never came.

Eskel

Euh, no. Whomever at CDPR decided Eskel should have a 1970’s hair parted in the middle deserves a decrease in pay.

Dettlaff

It’d be nice and he’d surprise you by being really tender although being a badass vampire but afterwards he’d cry with his face buried in your neck sniveling about his ex and you’d be awkwardly trying to comfort him, waiting for the first chance to get the hell outta there.

Regis

Euh, he’s like a father figure!

… that being said, I bet Regis is a meticulous in bed as he is in everything else he does.

Roche

It’d be nice if he would just shut up about Temeria. I bet he would call your ass Temeria.

Iorveth

I bet Iorveth fucks like he kills. Silently and carefully. You never knew what hit you. And it felt like dying.

Avallac’h

I have to say, for a guy who claims he’s bored with sex, he can’t seem to shut up about it. 

Dandelion

It’d be nice if he could just stop. Talking. About. Himself.  Did he just pick up his lute in the middle of the act?

Cahir

Cahir would reject you because he’s busy dreaming about a girl he fell in love with when he was like, twenty and she was ten :(

 Dijkstra

Euh euh euh no

Emhyr

The upside of doing an emperor is the large canopy bed with lush sheets and silk pillowcases. The downside is the three spies watching the whole thing making sure you’re not there to kill him.

[kaeltale]

I was tagged by @ziraeltheswallow! *hugs*

a - age: 30, goddamnit... (I hear it’s a good club to join?)

b - birthplace: USA, Florida

c - current time: 1:04AM

d - drink you last had: Water! (I was boring tonight)

e - easiest person / people to talk to: IRL: My best friend, and that’s pretty much it. I am a hard nut to crack unless you’ve known me since middle school, apparently. Online: Everyone! Non-verbal communication is my jive, though even then I sometimes don’t know what to say.

f - favorite song: Right now it’s Bloodstream by Transviolet: https://youtu.be/dkskJbT6Cas This song is my “Dettlaff channeling his sexiness” song. Don’t judge me.

g - grossest memory: Ok, I’m going to lie here and go with those dreams where your teeth fall out. They feel real enough to be a memory.

h - horror yes or horror no: Yes please! May I have another, sir?

i - in love?: I’m avoiding love right now. I’ve got good reasons.

j - jealous of people?: I try not to be, but it’s difficult. I don’t feel envy so much for physical stuff -- I have all the stuff I really need -- just things like wishing I had a “normal” family. In the very least emotionally available parents? That would be nice.

l - love at first sight or should I walk by again?:  Haha! Refer to the above.

m - middle name: Lynn; got it from my mom.

n - number of siblings: One brother, older by seven years. We don’t really talk much and never did.

o - one wish: Can I wish for a Regis and a Dettlaff for my birthday presents? I want one of each, please.

p - person you called last: My doctor. I made an appointment and it was horrible. I hate talking on the phone.

q - question you are always asked: “What should I do?” -- I am not saying I give good advice... my advice might actually suck, but people often feel like they can ask me for help with personal matters, and I like that I seem approachable. At least, sometimes I am. I try!

r - reason to smile: Here’s one! I wrote words today! As much as I get down about myself from time-to-time, I’m weirdly optimistic and I appreciate little things. I can be 100% happy with life just staring at a cloud if I find a suitable hill. (I live in Florida. Hills don’t exist)

s - song you sang last: No kidding; the theme from Star Trek: Next Generation. It was the episode with Data trying to train his cat not to jump up on the console. Last song with words: Be There by Seafret. (https://youtu.be/tgBDDjUge50)

t - time you woke up: 10am. It was the weekend. Fuck the alarm clock. Normally: 6am. I get ready fast.

u - underwear colour: Everything inside my pants in a mystery unless you're a lover or a doctor. :D

v - vacation destination: I would LOVE to go to Kyoto some day.

w - worst habit: Not valuing myself. I will walk through fire for a friend, but standing up for myself is hard.

x - x-rays: I think everything except my hands and head. I broke my toe once, and on the x-ray it was so bent it looked like I was trying to give the Vulcan salute with my foot!

y - your favorite food: All food. Food is good. Food is life. I love food from every culture, and I will try anything once. The more spice/flavor the better! Salmon/Conch Sushi, Beef Sukiyaki, Tom Yum Goong, Thai Red Curry, Aloo Gobi, and Ceviche are my favorites off the top of my head.

z - zodiac sign: Pisces

I’m tagging @asparrowsfall and @andordean, because I know you both have TONS of free time to procrastinate on memes! <3