#despite this you can't draw art of anything *else* because your brain is fully occupied with this and your personal life
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FUCKED UP how I can't post art on this account
#actually being hyperfixated on this is difficult for art generally because#you either draw it using references. which NO NOPE I'M OUT FUCK YOU#or you draw it WITHOUT references which is also stupid#like oh I guess I'll just draw him as a twink now? i mean I GUESS he gets. described. that way. a lot?#but with everyone else you are still using the og appearance but there's a mental barrier for googling references#like if you see the reference you're like AHHG FUCK why am I drawing him again#and also art ideas in general were hard. at least until this most recent book with so many drawable scenes I guess#but it's still fucked up because you are actively choosing to draw art only 1 person aside from yourself will actually see#despite this you can't draw art of anything *else* because your brain is fully occupied with this and your personal life#which you have always been quite allergic to drawing art of#and you can't draw nonpersonal og stuff because your art's development has hinged on fandom for a very very long time#so now it doesn't feel right#you also get a fuckton of shitpost ideas and none of them are understandle without like. a mountain of context#sigh it's fucking 5 am now WHAT am I doing
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