#desperately trying to come up with a way to make ''rachel lives = rachel mind-reads crayak instead'' funny

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hey did the Rachel in your ‘verse hear the Ellimist’s story still?

Y'know, I still haven't decided whether "yes" or "no" is the funnier answer, so maybe I should put it to the masses:

[j0kers-light]

Two Steps Forward

Oh this chapter. This one right here had me evil laughing at my computer. What a time.

I dunno why I love writing the interrogation scenes out. Maybe because I like reminding the reader Joker is retelling the story of us and that everything is the past tense? This is him confessing, coming clean about his Light and that does something to me.

You spoiled him rotten on life and he couldn't, in fact he didn't want to go back to the way things were before he met you.Unfortunately that wasn't meant to be. He was Gotham City's most wanted and you were a mere (semi-famous) citizen.

OOOOH! I can’t wait to reveal why Joker turned himself in!!!

"I told you, Bats. I would never hurt her. I... heh, well I made a promise noT to."

Could this be a clue? 👀😏

“Depending on the time... she could be in one place or another, so I can't answer unless ya tell meee."

“Are you implying she's in multiple places? I won't fall for that again." A brief memory of having to choose between two people came and went.

RACHEL!!! I’m sorry I had to use the movie reference!

Joker just wanted you safe. You meant more to him than you'd ever know. He never felt this way for someone before so pure possessive instincts forced him to put your safety above his own in any situation.

Joker, the man you are. I won’t let anyone talk trash about you!

The way you acknowledged his character flaws, (you knew in the end Joker wouldn't change) but you treated him like a normal human being, and it meant everything to him. Joker felt like he changed as a person while remaining true to himself and he would cherish that feeling forever. It was hard to describe the way you loved Joker and he felt like a fool for throwing that bond away, but he had to. It was all to keep you safe.

👀 hehe…

“Not at first. I was many things to her but never the bad guy. I tried so hard to make her hate me but she's.. something else. She would cry and get mad— but she always forgave me afterwards. Nothing I did scared her away. Say Bats! Would you believe me if I told you My Light and I started out as..."

THAT FLIPPING TRANSITION WAS SMOOTH CHAOS!

Joker merely smiled wide. God, you so desperately wanted to brush his teeth. But that was another fight to get into later. He would probably threaten you again but you didn't care. You hoped they weren't permanently stained.

Confirmed: they are not.

Your bathroom was straight out of a magazine. Joker whistled lowly. "How much are your uh, royalty checks? I should change professions."

I’m so glad I created this apartment in the sims 👏🏾👏🏾

“Don't you wanna stay? I might.. slip and hit my head on your opulence." He grumbled, looking around the fancy room. You never knew when Joker was living up to his name or just being honest. His sardonic humor was difficult to pinpoint. "I hope the towel rack takes you out on the way down. I'll be outside."

Writing their banter is so fluid. They just click. ALTHOUGH I would love and stay J.. 👀 if you want me to hold it for you just lemme know 😭

“So.. this is where your ideas are stored. My, my Y/n.. you have quite the uh, imaginative brain." Oh god what did he read? You forgot to hide your notebook earlier! You felt like a teenager catching your mother reading your first WIP for the first time.

We’ve all been there.

Utter embarrassment flushed the tip of your ears scarlet red. The situation became worse when you jumped up and down trying to snatch your journal away from Joker. If you weren't so hellbent on retrieving your notebook, you would've noticed the height difference between you and him.

Size kink activated. No I’m not sorry.

Were you just imagining it? Perhaps, but when you walked towards Joker with arms open wide, he didn't take your pre-offered shoulder to lean on. Instead he didn't move at all, causing you to awkwardly hug him. Only then did he wrap his arms around you and bend down to whisper in your ear. "I happen to like the err story idea on page nineteen. Mind sharing your thought process on how that came to be, hmm?" He pulled you closer, urging you to rest your head on his chest.

Joker, Gotham City's most wanted criminal, was holding you in your bathroom and subtly sniffing your hair. It smelled divine to him and he subconsciously squeezed you tighter because of it. You smelled like rosemary, lavender, peppermint, and some kind of fruit he couldn't quite name. The combination was intoxicating and before he knew it, his hand was snaking up your back and into your hair.

I think you dropped this J

“Stupid jerk reading my stuff, being so freakishly tall, and ugh!" You yanked the last article of clothing out the dryer and into a basket before slamming the door.

Fun fact: this is actual dialogue I said as I was writing this rough draft. The more you know how Chaos brain works, the better. 🤣🤣🤣😣

The quicker he was healed, the faster he could be out of your life, so why did he find himself getting used to staying here? More importantly, why did he want to see you happy again?

Yeah? Why are you getting attacked Joker?

“Do I looK like someone who watches tv?" Joker grimaced. Your left eye twitched but you didn't argue with him.

Do I look like a guy with a cable plan? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes.

You yawned. "Real Housewives of Gotham City." Joker resisted the urge to smother you with a pillow. He did however smack your hand away from his plate. He tried to ignore your puppy dog eyes but caved in. The plate had two servings of food, he just wanted to mess with you.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEM?! Look at my babies! Two steps forward!

The plate of food was long gone and he didn't realize he had sat up halfway into the season in suspense. Joker underestimated just how fascinating a group of housewives could be until today.

Every guy talks bad about reality tv but slick be invested in it!!

You heard him sigh on his end. You still failed to use his first name. "I must confess Y/n, I grew tired of waiting for you to call and asked Barbara for your number. I hope that wasn't too intrusive of me."

Oh Bruce. The lowkey creep you are. Stop acting like Batman. Still love you tho 👀

You whirled around in shock only to find Joker, arms crossed on the couch, looking every bit the murderer he was. His narrowed eyes sent a clear message. He was no joke to be taken lightly.

Hands down, I adore a jealous Joker. He does it so well ugh.

“Oh my dear Y/n... it's you who doesn't know a thing about Gotham's wannabe savior. What has he done for Gotham other than sign a check?"

Ooooooh get em Joker! Bruce is just a pocketbook!!!

“Do you like living, Y/n?" Joker asked. You scoffed. "What kind of dumb question is that?"

Now, I had an anon ask me what I was thinking about with this. We had a dm discussion about it and Joker is trying to pick apart Y/n here. He wants to find her flaws so he can break her. He wasn’t asking if she’s suicidal.

Just what was it about you that made him act so unlike himself? You had a way of confusing Joker.

Our man is going through it you hear me?

But first these ridiculous emotions you stirred up within him had to be eradicated. He would not be distracted by romance and lose sight of his goal. That was his plan– yet you made him toss logic out the window.

“Quit acting like somebody's daddy. The city is on a curfew so no one will be out anyways. The most dangerous criminal is currently sleeping on my couch, scolding me like a strict parent."

Girl you wish J was yo daddy 🤭🤭🤭 IN TIME HE WILL BE! 😏

“Where else am I supposed to sleep bunny? With you?" You saw his grin backlit by the bright tv light, making you roll your eyes. You really hoped that nickname didn't stick.

It does.

Your back hit the bed followed by the heavy weight of Joker landing on top of you. For someone so tall and lanky, his full body weight knocked the air out your lungs.

I created this scene simply because I’m petty. Pinned to the bed under Joker? Yes please.

‘Be a good girl..' It was official, you were a goner.

He forgot what he had asked you. He forgot his own name really. The only thought on his mind was what your lips would feel like. He wanted to find out. He would find out.

Haha remember when I teased yall for the longest? I said slow burn.

His Lighthouse Re-Read Thread

Hey hi my loves!!! I've read my own story 14 million times but I never did an official reread thread so thank @jaysmentalspace for what's about to happen! 🖤✨

This will be an interactive thread. Yes, you can join in with your own comments, reblogs, whatever! I will start from chapter one and I guess, review/commentate my own story! I hope you enjoy the ride. There's gonna be fun facts, behind the scenes commentary, who knows. 🤷🏾‍♀️

His Lighthouse masterlist let's get started.