#delete later yeesh sorry y'all
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it's 1 am! time to seethe with rage!
#absolutely drenched in it folks. the agonies are unbearable etc.#i Really need more friends nearby. but also we're probably moving in the next couple of years.#which is so familiar it makes me want to scream!! i've spent my life wanting to stop moving and you know fucking what?#i have moved almost every Single year since i turned 18.#which means atp most of my moving around is at least to some extent my choice. and i'm gonna do it again!#and i know i won't be done then either and my god i'm just so sick of this ferris wheel#something in me is like clawing at my skin trying to get me to burn it all down.#every relationship has its weak point. you press too hard and it shatters. every person too. and i am so so fucking good at breaking things#i could ruin everything i could break everyone i could leave them in fucking tatters and for what#why can't i just be good. why can't i stop leaving. and fucking why god am i exactly like my father down to the fatal flaws i blame him for#makes me wonder if he has a little voice chanting at him to just fucking do it every second of the day too#delete later yeesh sorry y'all
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