#dave's quality meat

[warhead]

[misfitwashere]

Minutes after Donald Trump was declared the winner of the 2024 election, Dana White took the stage to thank the influencers who helped lead Trump to victory. “I want to thank the Nelk Boys, Adin Ross, Theo Von, Bussin' With The Boys, and last but not least, the mighty and powerful Joe Rogan,” he said.

The acknowledgement crystallized an alliance between Trump and a vast network of online influencers. Joe Rogan*, Adin Ross, the Nelk Boys, and the myriad content creators who Trump collaborated with during his campaign played a key role in amplifying conservative messaging and helping him reach audiences that traditional right-wing outlets simply never could. You can read more about Trump's influencer strategy in an article I wrote for The Hollywood Reporter today. 

While the right has spent years fostering a symbiotic relationship with alternative media, the left has failed replicate anything like it. There are simply no progressive content creators with Rogan's cultural impact and online following, and a quick look at the podcast charts or trending channels on YouTube shows the disparity between conservative vs progressive creators' reach online.

Without a network of culturally relevant influential content creators boosting and translating their messaging, the Democratic Party is rapidly losing credibility among younger, predominantly male audiences who have become ardent supporters of influencers that promote a distinctly conservative worldview.

This imbalance when it comes to online influence is no accident. It is the result of massive structural disadvantages in funding, promotion, and institutional support. And understanding why Democrats can't (or really won't) cultivate an equivalent independent media ecosystem that rivals what the right has built is crucial for anyone who hopes to ever see the Democrats back into power. 

The conservative media landscape in the United States is exceptionally well-funded, meticulously constructed, and highly coordinated. Wealthy donors, PACs, and corporations with a vested interest in preserving or expanding conservative policies strategically invest in right-wing media channels and up and coming content creators.

This creates a well oiled pipeline for conservative influencers: young TikTokers, YouTubers, livestreamers, or podcasters are discovered, developed, and pushed to larger platforms, often with the financial backing of conservative billionaires or organizations on the right who have long recognized the content creator industry a valuable means of shaping public opinion and policy.

Organizations like Turning Point USA, PragerU, and The Daily Wire and others receive millions from backers who view them as advertising for a broader conservative agenda. These media entities act as content creator incubators and spend extensively on outreach, production quality, and audience growth. The resources and near unlimited funds they receive allow conservative content creators to grow rapidly and spread their message widely. 

For instance, Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire has been heavily funded by wealthy Republican donors, including the Wilks brothers, Texas-based billionaires known for their oil and fracking fortune. Charlie Kirk, founder of Turning Point USA, receives millions from conservative mega donors including the Koch network. Right wing content creators Benny Johnson, Tim Pool and Dave Rubin were recently getting paid $400,00 a month, at least $100,000 per YouTube video, after accepting funding from a right wing Russian influence operation. Johnson even allegedly negotiated a $100,000 signing bonus.

Renee DiResta, a researcher and author of Invisible Rulers: The People Who Turn Lies Into Reality, recently posted that, if you want to amass power online, pouring money into the influencer industry is essentially cheaper than buying bots or banner ads online. "Buying authentic influencers is a far better use of funds than creating fake personas, because they bring their own trusting audiences and are actually, you know, real," she posted on Threads. 

The conservative content creator ecosystem is also extremely collaborative. Over the past two decades, conservatives have built a flywheel of cross-pollination. Right-wing content creators frequently appear on each other's shows and lift up smaller YouTube channels, podcasters, and up-and-coming creators. This results in an extended network of voices that reaches a wide range of conservative leaning audiences. 

Conservative influencers are also able to rapidly gain credibility because influential Republican figures like Trump are willing to engage with them, appear on their podcasts, speak to them for their newsletters, or guest on their livestreams. 

As I wrote in September, when right wing creators began getting deplatformed more frequently on mainstream social media apps in the second half of the 2010s, an entire ecosystem of alternative platforms aimed at helping extremist influencers monetize and amass audiences, cropped up.

Rumble, a video sharing platform similar to YouTube backed by billionaire Peter Thiel, began paying far right influencers and anti vaxx content creators hundreds of thousands of dollars to create content on its platform in 2021. Locals, a newsletter platform owned by Rumble, allows influencers to monetize through newsletters in a similar way to Substack.

DLive, a right wing Twitch competitor, allowed influencers storming the Capitol building on January 6th, to make thousands of dollars off their live streams. Kick and Cozy.tv, two other right wing live streaming platforms, permit nearly any far right extremist the ability to create content and start earning money.

And X, under Musk, has paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars to right wing influencer accounts.

This mirror industry of social media platforms built specifically to amplify right wing voices inflate metrics in order to create the appearance of broader public support and user engagement. They leverage paid amplification and algorithmic tweaks to make it seem like the right wing creators on them command a much larger audience than they actually do. This perception of widespread support further amplifies conservative content creators, building a feedback loop that leftist creators, who lack similar resources, cannot match.Rumble, a YouTube competitor backed by Peter Thiel, is known for inflating metrics

There is simply zero equivalent to this massive infrastructure on the left. 

Leftist channels do not receive widespread financial backing from billionaires or large institutional donors, primarily because leftist content creators support policies that are completely at odds with what billionaires want.

Left leaning influencers argue for things like higher taxes on the rich, regulations on corporations, and policies that curb the power of elites. Wealthy mega donors aren't going to start pouring money into a media ecosystem that directly contradicts their own financial interests. And so, progressive creators are left to rely on meager crowdfunding efforts to make a living. 

Because they are not well funded, leftist creators also don't have money to pour into production teams or marketing for their independent media businesses. While Bari Weiss and other billionaire-backed right wing influencers who cosplay as independent media can hire large staffs and run national ad campaigns thanks to their robust funding, progressive influencers are forced to rely on organic growth on platforms like YouTube, Twitch, TikTok. Meanwhile, these platforms' distribution algorithms have been shown to reward conservative outrage and extremism. 

There is simply no way that progressive content creators can compete. So, they burn out, they quit, and this further constrains the left’s ability to build a powerful leftist influencer ecosystem that could even begin to rival conservative influencers' reach and power

All of these things could change significantly if the Democratic party had any interest in supporting the independent media ecosystem on the left, but leftist creators have been repeatedly shunned by the Democratic party establishment. 

Harris' campaign is a perfect example of this. Biden began alienating progressive content creators before Harris even became the candidate. When Harris did become the nominee she showed a repeated refusal to engage with any creators challenging her ideology or policies.

Mainstream Democrat loyalist centrist creators with very little cultural relevance were welcomed at events like the DNC and campaign rallies, invited to speak and collaborate with the campaign, while influencers who challenged the Harris campaign on issues like the war in Gaza, or spread more populist messaging were not granted access or similar opportunities. 

The closest thing to a "progressive Joe Rogan" in mainstream liberal media is probably the podcast Pod Save America. But the podcasters on that show operate with a clear allegiance to the Democratic Party establishment. They don't speak to the youth or the disaffected masses who are fed up with the entire system. 

"Republican independent media is directly linked to the party in ways that the Democrats cannot recreate among the independent ecosystem because they're ideologically opposed to Bernie style populist sentiment the base wants to hear," leftist Twitch streamer Hasan Piker tweeted yesterday. 

The end result of all of this is an influencer landscape that's heavily biased towards right wing creators. We have created a system where right-wing influencers can thrive and scale rapidly and leftist content creators remain marginalized, struggling to gain traction and funding without selling out and becoming right wing grifters (which is just objectively SO much more profitable!).

Ultimately, there will never be a "Joe Rogan of the left" or "Nelk boys of the left" because there is no funding or institutional Democratic support to even begin to form such a network. There appears to be zero appetite from the Democratic party establishment to embrace left-leaning populist messaging and policies. 

"This is not a cultural war that you can win just by doing fucking podcasts," Piker reiterated on his Twitch stream. "You have to still have a solid defense mechanism at the top, that aligns with the interests of people like myself. If the Democratic party is running around being like, ‘everything is fine actually, just vote for us, we've got to defend the institutions,’ while everyone is like, ‘I don't give a fuck about the institutions’… You can't reach them."

[saccharineomens]

For the controversial ship asks: 👅💣💗💔

👅 Ship that you find most sexy: Unfortunately, at the moment, it’s ships that include my ocs. o3o Especially Liam. That desperate to please himbo can top and bottom with a crazy amount of enthusiasm. That’s not very controversial though. Hm.

Boyd Mosche/Ned Chicane from The Adventure Zone: Amnesty. Controversial because they’re toxic exes with a lot of drama and crimes behind them. Quickly followed by Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas from The Magnus Archives, with similar divorced energy.

💣 Ship that pisses you off: ‘pisses me off’ is a strong term — most things I don’t ship I am simply neutral about. but alright, I’ll share publicly what I usually only say to friends in private: Dave/Karkat from Homestuck. I simply think their entire characters (mostly Karkat) were filed down to nothing but their relationship with each other. Their relationships with other characters started to feel thin. They felt at the same time codependent and like leftovers who were the last possible option for each other. I haven’t read Homestuck in ages, and I stopped reading it after the epilogue (I read Meat and skimmed Candy). I hear they’re officially canon now and maybe the writing got better, but as someone who likes both of those characters a lot I simply don’t like their ship. At least in Dave’s case I heard he and Dirk get some quality moments? That’s great!

edit: in fact, in Meat it seems to confirm my position further because it wasn’t until Karkat and Dave ‘broke up’ that Karkat really blossomed into a revolutionary leader independent in his own right. Which was my favorite part of the epilogues, though I still don’t know if I accept Meat and Candy as canon, really.

💓 Ship that you didn’t expect to ship but now do: Marcille/Laios from Dungeon Meshi. When I finished reading Dungeon Meshi the first time, the only ships I really saw any foundations for were Kiki/Namari and maybe Chilchuck/Senshi (though their lives really ended up pulling themselves in opposite directions). I’m a multi-shipper, though, and when someone brought up the possibility of Marcille and Laios, the second time I read the comic through I really saw what they meant. I had always liked their dynamic, but now I could see the deep respect, protectiveness, and compassion they came to feel for each other. They’re both my favorite characters in the story, they both deserve nice things, and they’re pretty perfect together. 

💔 Ship that makes you sad: Oh, so many. I can’t even think of a controversial one. The first one coming to mind right now is D/Rogier from Elden Ring. It’s sad but poetic when at first you bond over your loneliness and finding someone who shares your interests, but slowly you find that your solutions to a problem are so fundamentally different from each other that you can’t reconcile that with how much you care for each other. D’s comments about Rogier in the Roundtable Hold reek of bitterness, but Rogier seems to still hold a saddened respect for D’s skill. Add in Fia’s involvement and how her companionship likely drove even more of a wedge between Rogier and D and you got the mixings of a perfect tragically doomed romance. Not to mention all three of them dying (without reconciling) based on your actions during the game.

Send me a controversial shipping ask!

[nothingunrealistic]

This is a fun one. “Hi, Anna. Hi, Brian. I’m a chef, and I was always —” Chef! “I was always fascinated by the eating scenes in your show. So much so that one time I said to myself, ‘Fuck this,’ and I stopped the binge watch because we were locked down because of COVID. There is one specific scene at the end of an episode where Chuck and Ira are eating some meat, I guess. Please talk about those scenes, because obviously they are very important for you and Dave. Take care, Nuno.”

Oh, yeah, that scene where they’re eating meat, um, they go to both… they go to Peter Luger and, but — the episode starts at Salt Bae and ends at Peter Luger. Well, we were saying a lot in that episode about the intrinsic quality in things. Um… I think food — David and I think that the way people share mealtime in that space, and the kind of fellowship around that, always means something. In New York, the restaurants also say something about access and power and taste. And the show exists in those worlds. And so each of those things comes from hours of conversation and planning and thinking. And they all work — if they work, they all work together. So I’m glad when people like you, Chef, catch that and pick up on the significance of it. I don’t, like, wanna say too much about what each scene means. I really like leaving that up to the viewer. But there is zero doubt that it’s really important and significant to us.

How do you pick the restaurants? Or, like, what the characters are eating? What do you mean, how? Like, what — like, when you’re storyboarding, are you at one point like, “Okay, Chuck’s gonna be eating X in this scene?” Well, maybe some — Is that just kind of in, like… you just know, intuitively? Or is it —

No, we talk, Dave and I talk about it, and we’ll talk about it with Beth, too, who works with us on the show. And then, um… Or do you ever — Or we’ll talk to our locations department and — what? Do you ever, like, eat something and then think of the scene in which they’d be eating it after? Like, are you ever inspired by the food? Or is it always the other way? Well, you’ll go, we’ll go to a restaurant… yeah, any time I go to a restaurant, I’m like, “Could this be, does this make sense for the show?” But also, the meaning of the different restaurants in the city.

—————

I use index cards to, to put acts up with David. David and I do that, David writes ‘em, usually. You have a full season, though, lined out in your office. Yes, we use, for the season, we will put on a whiteboard — for the episodes, we do that, like, they go up on a whiteboard. But it’s still words, it’s not — and, and the visual thing’s just what follows what. So yes, there’s an order, and we’re looking at the order of scenes. But when I was young and I started watching and becoming obsessed with movies, I, it manifested in me by memorizing dialogue. Like, I think in terms of dialogue. My outlines are dialogue-heavy. I think of story in terms of the things people say. Mm-hmm. And that’s, you can see that in our work. Different people approach this stuff differently. I really like the way words sound, I really like meter. So for me, I need music, ‘cause sound is so important. So I have music going a lot of the time when I’m writing. And that music has a rhythm, and then that affects, maybe, the meter of how, like, the pace of the scene but also the meter of the dialogue. And then in my head, the dialogue, there’s a meter. That’s what pushes the story forward. And I’m always hearing it. I’m thinking in, I’ll say it out loud. I’m, I’m, I’m big on talking the story out and, and hearing it, and this goes, happens, and that happens, and that’s what helps me. But the visual stuff really helps people, and I think the main thing is, like, however it works for you is valid and I would just keep doing more of that until you find the thing. I mean, sometimes I can’t write a scene until I have the right music. And then sometimes I have to have no music and, and I need to just hear the, ‘cause I can’t quite find the meter, and the meter of the words is, is just… when the meter’s right, when I feel it bah-bit-dah-bah-bit, you know, however that works — that’s when I can, that’s when I can really go and fly.

[wendys-menu-insights]

Wendy’s Meal Deals

Wendy’s Meal Deals: Getting the Best Bang for Your Buck!

When it comes to grabbing a quick and delicious meal on the go, Wendy’s is often a top choice. With its famous square beef patties, fresh ingredients, and a long history of offering great value to customers, Wendy’s continues to be a favorite in the fast-food world. But what really sets Wendy’s apart is its ability to provide tasty meal deals that won’t break the bank.

In this blog post, we’ll dive deep into Wendy’s current meal deals, how to make the most of your money at Wendy’s, and what menu hacks can get you the most satisfying meal. So, whether you're looking for a lunch combo or something to satisfy your late-night cravings, read on to get the best value from Wendy’s!

1. Wendy’s 4 for $4 Meal Deal: The Classic Bargain

One of the most popular deals at Wendy’s is the 4 for $4 deal. This is a go-to choice for anyone looking to fill up on a budget. For just $4, you can get a full meal that includes:

A Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger or a Crispy Chicken Sandwich

4-piece nuggets

A small fry

A small drink

This is one of the best deals in fast food, especially when you compare it to competitors’ value menus. The 4 for $4 provides a well-rounded meal with a bit of everything—protein, carbs, and that essential fast-food flavor. It’s a perfect option for a quick lunch or when you need a low-cost meal that still satisfies.

Tips to Maximize the 4 for $4 Deal:

Customize your burger: Wendy’s is known for its flexibility. You can add extra toppings like onions, lettuce, or sauces without adding much to the price.

Upgrade your drink: If you're willing to spend a bit more, consider upgrading to a larger drink or opting for a Frosty for dessert.

2. The $5 Biggie Bag: More Food, Same Great Value

While the 4 for $4 is perfect for many, some people might want just a bit more. That’s where Wendy’s $5 Biggie Bag comes in. For just one more dollar, you get an even bigger meal:

A Bacon Double Stack or Crispy Chicken BLT

4-piece nuggets

Small fries

Small drink

The key difference here is the sandwich. With the Biggie Bag, you get more meat, and that can make all the difference if you’re extra hungry. It’s still incredibly affordable, and the quality of Wendy’s burgers makes this deal feel like a steal.

Biggie Bag Hacks:

Double up on nuggets: If you’re not feeling the fries, ask to substitute them for extra nuggets. Wendy’s staff are usually willing to make reasonable swaps, and this way, you get even more protein.

Mix it up: Feeling indecisive? If your location offers it, you can switch the sandwich for another type like a chicken sandwich or even try out different combinations to keep things exciting.

3. Wendy’s 2 for $6 Meal Deal: Ideal for Sharing

Wendy’s 2 for $6 deal is perfect for those looking to share or those who want to stock up on larger portions. For just $6, you get to pick any two items from the following:

Dave’s Single (a classic quarter-pound burger)

10-piece Chicken Nuggets

Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Medium Chicken Nuggets Combo

This deal allows for a bit of mix-and-match based on your mood. Feeling like beef? Opt for Dave’s Single. Prefer chicken? Go for the spicy chicken sandwich and nuggets. This meal deal can also be split with a friend or saved for later if you’re looking to stretch your meal into two sittings.

Tips for the 2 for $6 Deal:

Customize the sandwich: Like with the other deals, take advantage of Wendy’s flexibility to add or remove toppings to create the perfect sandwich.

Perfect for sharing: If you’re dining with a friend or family member, this deal lets you share the love without spending much. Combine it with an order of fries, and you’re set!

4. Mobile App Offers: Unlocking Secret Deals

One of the best ways to ensure you’re getting the most out of your Wendy’s experience is to use their mobile app. Wendy’s regularly updates its app with exclusive deals that you won’t find in-store. From buy-one-get-one deals to discounts on premium menu items, the app is your key to even more savings.

Some of the deals you might find include:

BOGO on premium burgers

Free fries with any purchase

Discounted combo meals

The app also offers a rewards program where you earn points with every purchase. These points can be redeemed for free items like a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger or Frosty.

Mobile App Tip:

Always check before ordering: Before you even step foot in Wendy’s, check the app for current offers. You can stack these deals with existing meal combos for extra savings.

5. Secret Menu Hacks to Know About

While Wendy’s doesn’t officially have a secret menu, there are still plenty of ways to get creative with your order and make a meal that feels custom-tailored to your cravings. Here are a few "secret menu" items to try:

Barnyard Burger: Ask for a beef patty, chicken patty, and bacon on the same sandwich. You’ll get the best of all worlds!

Big Bacon Classic: While it was removed from the main menu, some locations will still make it if you ask. It’s a bigger, juicier version of the Baconator.

Frosty Float: Want to take your Frosty to the next level? Ask for a soda to be poured into your cup alongside the Frosty for a sweet, fizzy treat.

6. Seasonal and Limited-Time Offers: Keep an Eye Out

Wendy’s also occasionally rolls out limited-time offers and seasonal menu items. Around the holidays, you might see festive treats like peppermint Frostys or special burger variations with seasonal toppings. These are usually tied to promotions, so always keep an eye on Wendy’s website or app for announcements.

Conclusion: Making Wendy’s Meal Deals Work for You

Wendy’s has mastered the art of offering deals that cater to everyone—from the budget-conscious eater to those looking to indulge without overspending. The 4 for $4, $5 Biggie Bag, and 2 for $6 deal are all excellent options depending on your hunger level and preference, and with the app offering even more exclusive savings, Wendy’s truly delivers when it comes to meal deals.

So the next time you’re in the mood for fast food but don’t want to overspend, head to Wendy’s and explore these meal deals. With so many options, there’s something for everyone, and you’ll always leave feeling satisfied without emptying your wallet.

[illogicalnordictales]

Ok so a few weeks ago I got a Nintendo Switch. And lemme tell ya something:

I only have 3 games on it, but it’s served for hours of entertainment, it’s awesome.

But one of these games is called West Of Loathing. It’s basically stick figure D&D. It’s great.

You get to pick a character class, pick a name, sidekick, it’s awesome.

Anyway, I just finished a round of it where my character’s name was:

Tony Trouble Ptoughneigh (pronounced “Tony”)

And I had this one horse from a little side quest, a horse with crazy eyes, ran funny, the lot of it, y’know.

And I’m like “What do I name this thing.”

Cocaine.

I named him Cocaine.

What a fitting name, a horse named Cocaine.

OH and it was be inhumane not to mention my companion in this: Gary. Gary the Goblin. He’s precious. Goofy. Amazing. And also can do Gary-Fu.

Anyway, so a few notable places on the map were:

the Circus, led by a cow hating killer;

the Daveyard—a graveyard solely for people named Dave;

and the Petting Cemetery, which was for animal skeletons, and you can pet them for an add to your…powers? I dunno what to call ‘em, ok.

Anyway, there’s this city that’s the primary destination of the game, and it’s called Frisco. And once you get there, you encounter a guy named Norton, who’s convinced that he’s the emperor. Anyway, you need to get past him to continue building the train tracks into Frisco. But since he’s convinced he’s the emperor of Frisco, he wants a crown.

Now, if you don’t give him a crown, you get this weird ant-eye virus, and you have to get a magic jelly bean to cure it. And then you have to fight him on the train, because oh yeah, he just casually up and stole it. Cause he’s the emperor. And I guess emperors can do that.

But if you do give him a crown, it saves a headache of tryna fight him and whatnot before you can get to the final cutscene.

Anyway so there are a number of ways you can get a crown for Norton. The way I did it? I literally gave him a turnip. See, in the very first town I got to, there was this hinky-dink little turnip covered in dust. So I pick it up, and shove it in my pocket. Then when I get to the main town on the main map where the whole quest thing takes place, I found this place called the “Silver Plater” (no, not “platter”, “plater”.)

“Ok so you got this turnip, went to this Plater guy, then what?”

Glad you asked. But I would’ve told you regardless. So don’t get too excited.

I had to pay to get this turnip plated in silver.

How much did I pay?

5.

Not 50.

Not 500.

5,000.

5,000 MEAT.

Because they…they use meat as a currency in this game…don’t ask me why, it’s probably because of all the cows they people don’t like. They can kill you for no reason, no wonder the literal killer clown wanted to kill them all.

The sheer amount of gambling I had to do. The amount of cows I had to kill. Bones and bone fragments I had to sell.

JUST TO BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH MEAT TO PLATE THIS SINGLE TURNIP.

But hey I got it plated so all’s well that ends well, I guess.

Anyway it’s a really fun game, 10/10 would recommend, super cheap, hours of fun.

It’s like a good quality heap of dirt; given the right conditions, it’s a blast. You can do the same thing over and over, and each game is different. It’s awesome.

[market-news-24]

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[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Dirk Strider

Meat, page 2

DAVE: bro

DAVE: bro you have got to check this out

KARKAT: NOT NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS IS ON TV AGAIN.

DAVE: stop ogling jakes ass this is important

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHOSE ASS I SHOULD STOP OGLING.

KARKAT: LOOK. IT’S ABSOLUTELY HYPNOTIC.

KARKAT: I MEAN, NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY, PER SE.

DAVE: of course

KARKAT: IT’S ALL IN THE WAY IT’S BEING PROGRAMMED BY THE STATION.

KARKAT: IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO NOTICE, BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE I MAKE IT A POINT OF STAYING GLUED TO THIS PHONY TELEVISED HUMAN GLADIATOR GARBAGE.

KARKAT: IT’S SOFT AS FUCK. THEY BARELY EVEN TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM REAL. DAVE, I CONSIDER MYSELF A COSMOPOLITAN INDIVIDUAL. A MAN OF LEARNING? BUT AS A NATIVE ALTERNIAN, I’M ACTUALLY FUCKING OFFENDED BY THIS INSULTING DISPLAY OF NAMBY PAMBY PAGEANTRY.

KARKAT: ANYWAY, THE MORE I WATCH, I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THE CAMERA’S LECHEROUS FIXATION ON THIS BOY’S VOLUPTUOUS POSTERIOR.

KARKAT: CAN’T SAY I BLAME THEM, I GUESS??? AT LEAST IT SHOWS THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT’S PAYING THE FUCKING BILLS, BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T THE QUALITY OF THE SLAM POETRY.

DAVE: ok who gives a shit about that

DAVE: although it pleases me to hear you taking note of the economics of this broadcast since it is apropos to the topic at hand but more on that later

KARKAT: APROPOS TO FUCKING WHAT?

KARKAT: I DON’T HAVE TIME TO “SCOPE THE LATEST MEME,” DAVE. YOU ARE COMING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO CUTTING INTO MY IMPORTANT LEISURE TIME AS IT IS.

DAVE: leisure time

DAVE: this is all you ever do all day

DAVE: also its not a meme its much more important

KARKAT: OH, EXCUSE ME, HOT SHOT. BUT WHAT POSSIBLY COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LATEST MEME?

KARKAT: THAT WAS A JOKE, FYI. NOW LEAVE.

DAVE: jane is running for president

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?

DAVE: got the announcement right here

KARKAT: YOU MEAN PRESIDENT OF EARTH?

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE WANT TO DO THAT?

DAVE: i dunno crocker is just an ambitious woman i guess

KARKAT: THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL.

DAVE: oh it is

DAVE: it absolutely is

DAVE: also like

DAVE: dont tell her i said this but

DAVE: i think shes basically a fascist

KARKAT: WHY WOULD I TELL HER YOU SAID THAT?

KARKAT: WHEN THE FUCK WAS THE LAST TIME EITHER OF US HAD FUCK ALL TO DO WITH *JANE*

DAVE: no i know

DAVE: just like, a figure of speech i guess

DAVE: oh also shes a fucking xenophobe

KARKAT: OF COURSE SHE’S A XENOPHOBE!

KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUT

KARKAT: A LOT OF HUMANS ARE???

DAVE: yeah ive noticed

KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE EVEN MEAN SHE’S “RUNNING”

KARKAT: WHAT A COMPLETE LOAD OF SHIT?

KARKAT: SHE’S A GOD. WHICH ONE OF THE TOADYING IDIOTS ON THIS PLANET WOULD DARE TO RUN AGAINST HER.

KARKAT: SHE’S GOING TO WIN IN A LANDSLIDE, ASSUMING SHE DOESN’T JUST WALTZ INTO OFFICE UNCONTESTED.

DAVE: yeah i dont disagree

DAVE: which is why we have to stop her

KARKAT: HUH?

KARKAT: DAVE, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING?

KARKAT: ARE YOU TELLING ME *YOU’RE* GOING TO RUN AGAINST JANE?

KARKAT: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW *RICH* SHE IS?

DAVE: dude were all rich

DAVE: we like invented the fucking economy

KARKAT: WELL, YEAH

KARKAT: BUT NOT LIKE

KARKAT: *CROCKER* RICH

DAVE: anyway no

DAVE: im not running

DAVE: you are

KARKAT: ME???????????????

DAVE: yeah man

DAVE: its perfect

DAVE: youre the ideal opponent to take her down and tbh just what this planet needs

KARKAT: NO I’M NOT!

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: WE ESTABLISHED THIS... HOW MANY YEARS AGO?

KARKAT: I’M NOT A LEADER. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE ONE.

KARKAT: JANE PROBABLY IS. ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, I’M AGREEING WITH YOU, SHE’S A COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

KARKAT: I’M JUST NOT THE ONE TO RUN AN EFFECTIVE OPPOSITION CAMPAIGN. WHERE... HOW...

KARKAT: I WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!

DAVE: obviously you wouldnt do it on your own i would help

DAVE: id be like your campaign manager, or chief strategy guy or whatever

DAVE: also youre wrong

DAVE: you were meant to be a leader and youd be a good one

DAVE: just not the kind of leader you always thought youd be

DAVE: not a bellicose conquering dickhead who commands “fear and respect”

DAVE: just a guy who is cool and nice and actually cares about stuff and everyone loves them for that reason

KARKAT: PEOPLE DON’T LOVE ME!!!

DAVE: youre breaking my heart dude

DAVE: brb gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob

KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP

DAVE: it still amazes me how little awareness you genuinely seem to have of how insanely popular you are on this planet

DAVE: its fucking adorable

KARKAT: YOU’RE WRONG! ALL I SEE IS JAKE ON TV! AND JANE IN THE NEWS STORIES ABOUT HER STUPID BUSINESS, AND DIRK DOING WHATEVER... FUCKED UP SHIT HE’S DOING WITH HIS CELEBRITY PRESENCE??

KARKAT: I SEE YOUR MUG A LOT TOO, MR. FUCKING POLITICAL PUPPET MASTER.

KARKAT: YOU’D GET MORE VOTES THAN ME, AND YOU KNOW IT. YOU’RE PROBABLY JUST A COWARD!

DAVE: you only see famous humans on tv because you just avoid all troll kingdom channels deliberately

DAVE: you hate it whenever you see yourself on tv

DAVE: dont pretend i dont notice you change the channel as fast as possible whenever you see yourself

KARKAT: YEAH WELL MAYBE I

KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE BEING FAMOUS?

KARKAT: AND MAYBE THAT’S AS GOOD A FUCKING REASON AS ANY *NOT TO RUN FOR THE FUCKING PRESIDENCY OF EARTH*?????

KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION THE IDEA OF AN ELECTION IS KIND OF A FUCKED UP AND WEIRD THING TO ME CULTURALLY ANYWAY, AND I’M STILL KIND OF GETTING USED TO THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST... “CHOOSE” THEIR FUCKING LEADERS AND NOT HAVE THE SAME OLD MERCILESS BITCH IN POWER FOR SEVERAL MILLION YEARS.

DAVE: well what better way to acquaint yourself with democracy than to take a crack at high office yourself

DAVE: dude seriously you would absolutely kill it with the troll voting block

DAVE: the entire kingdom would vote for you

DAVE: theyd go ballistic if they heard a troll actually had the guts to run against jane, let alone one of their heroes

DAVE: and frankly just between you and me

DAVE: jane is...

DAVE: how do i put this

KARKAT: WHAT

DAVE: ok ill just be the one to come out and say it

DAVE: shes going to be a fucking disaster for the economy

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: i guess i have to admit

DAVE: part of this

DAVE: for me personally

DAVE: its

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING DAVE

DAVE: its about obama

DAVE: he barely even got a chance to prove himself

DAVE: he was sworn into office and it was cool and everything was gonna be great but then

DAVE: everyone died a few months later because of meteors

DAVE: dude was just gettin warmed up... so sad

DAVE: i wonder if he would have fixed the economy

DAVE: i bet he would have fixed the economy

KARKAT: DAVE, AS MUCH AS I ENJOY LISTENING TO YOU RAMBLE THROUGH YET ANOTHER CHAPTER OF YOUR FREESTYLE OBAMA FAN FICTION

KARKAT: DON’T YOU ALREADY HAVE A BASIS FOR KNOWING HOW HIS PRESIDENCY WOULD HAVE GONE?

KARKAT: I MEAN, WASN’T HE PRESIDENT IN THE TIME LINE JANE GREW UP IN TOO?

DAVE: oh

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean yeah of course i know that

DAVE: i just dont like to think much about that time line

DAVE: it doesnt really feel like its

DAVE: canon?

KARKAT: DIDN’T SOME CLOWNS TAKE OVER THE WORLD OR SOMETHING?

DAVE: i dont wanna talk about it

DAVE: the point is

DAVE: in the world that mattered more, i mean like

DAVE: the one i belonged to that i used to imagine had a real future

DAVE: that didnt involve meteors or a fish dictator or the american political landscape turning into a nightmarish daily joke

DAVE: i still wonder what could have been

DAVE: if the O man coulda saved us all

DAVE: but instead he died probably

DAVE: or maybe not... maybe there was like an escape hatch in the white house that led to his own secret presidential session of sburb

DAVE: what if hes just chillin there now

KARKAT: DAVE, I THINK WE’VE COVERED YOUR “OBAMA’S SECRET SESSION OF SBURB” THEORY WELL ENOUGH ALREADY.

DAVE: i know i know

DAVE: im just saying is all

KARKAT: IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DREAM! I FUCKING GET IT.

DAVE: but yeah its more likely he just died

DAVE: but maybe it doesnt have to be in vain

DAVE: what if he died for our sins or something

KARKAT: HMM! SOUNDS FUCKING MEANINGLESS.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but i mean what if like

DAVE: he could be reborn

KARKAT: YES, WE’VE BEEN OVER YOUR OBAMA GOD TIER HEADCANONS TOO.

DAVE: no like

DAVE: reborn as you

DAVE: metaphorically

DAVE: you could be the great president he never got the chance to be

DAVE: you could give the people hope and shit

DAVE: you could inspire trolls everywhere

DAVE: or really all nonhuman kingdoms

DAVE: show them anybody could be a president

DAVE: not just an endless parade of rich humans who think they all know whats best for everybody

KARKAT: DAVE, I’M PRETTY SURE ANYONE *COULD* BE PRESIDENT?

KARKAT: IT’S ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME THAT HUMANS JUST SEEM TO BE MORE NATURALLY AMBITIOUS, AND THAT’S WHY THE POWER STRUCTURES TOOK THE SHAPE THEY DID THE LAST FEW MILLENNIA.

KARKAT: I MEAN, I DON’T CLAIM TO BE AN EXPERT ON XENOPSYCHOLOGY, BUT FOR SOME REASON I STRUGGLE TO IMAGINE A FUCKING SALAMANDER GETTING THE GUMPTION TO THROW HIS CRUMPLED HAT INTO THE RING FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF EARTH.

KARKAT: OR THE CARAPACIANS FOR THAT MATTER?

KARKAT: THESE ARE NOT AMBITIOUS CREATURES WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, DAVE.

KARKAT: THEY’RE A HUGE FLOCK OF WOOLBEASTS, DAVE.

DAVE: karkat dont stereotype

DAVE: remember the mayor

DAVE: remember how at one point a long time ago he raised an army and rebelled against an evil king

KARKAT: OH YEAH

KARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.

KARKAT: KIND OF MIND BOGGLING, REALLY.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MISS THE MAYOR.

DAVE: me too

DAVE: i think he would be totally in favor of my idea btw

DAVE: he loved democracy

KARKAT: NO SHIT, HE WAS A FUCKING MAYOR.

DAVE: i mean forget all the lizards and chess guys for a second

DAVE: just imagine the good you could do for the troll kingdom

DAVE: you would do a much better job of speaking to the injustices trolls face than jane would

KARKAT: WHAT INJUSTICES

DAVE: dude please

DAVE: where to even begin

DAVE: i know earth c has generally been a pretty chill place to live but theres been some shit going on that is legit creepy

DAVE: all this “population regulation” bullshit thats been going on since we basically set up civilization and peaced out to the future

DAVE: when you think about its long term consequences its been fuckin weird

DAVE: like the government being responsible for troll reproduction through cloning

DAVE: a government that just happens to be predominantly human most of the time?

DAVE: like it makes sense on paper at first, no mother grub, gotta keep the race going and expand the population for a good while and get the numbers up

DAVE: until kanaya gets here and hatches the grub and then i guess a system of “natural reproduction” can take over in theory but

DAVE: after so many centuries of that shit doesnt the weird political imbalance like

DAVE: get entrenched??

DAVE: and once rose and kanaya crank out a few more broods in the caverns i guess were supposed to think its all fixed right

DAVE: back to Trolls As Usual or something

DAVE: but do you really think the human kingdom is going to just sit back and let the troll race proliferate wildly all over earth

DAVE: turn it into another alternian empire

DAVE: folks know the history

DAVE: they know about the condesce and all the violence and the hemospectrum and shit

DAVE: theyre scared to death of the possibility that trolls could run wild all over the planet

KARKAT: DAVE, I KNOW ALL THIS.

KARKAT: IN FACT, *YOU* KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE YOU’VE HEARD ME SAY IT TO KANAYA A THOUSAND TIMES.

KARKAT: ACTUALLY, IN AN EFFORT TO NOT GO FUCKING INSANE, I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

DAVE: well maybe its time to start thinking about it again

DAVE: bro did u know, sitting on the sidelines in the face of oppression is tantamount to siding with the oppressors

KARKAT: UHNGH.

DAVE: you think a crocker administration is really going to go through with plans to deregulate troll breeding?

DAVE: she knows exactly what her base wants

DAVE: i can already see the dog whistles in this press release she isnt gonna do shit

DAVE: and really man

DAVE: if nothing else and i truly mean NOTHING

DAVE: please

DAVE: for the love of christ

DAVE: think of the economy

KARKAT: ARRRGH!!!!

DAVE: jane has this reputation for being awesome at business but imo she actually just sucks

DAVE: she doesnt seem to be even remotely aware how much shes leveraged her status as a god to become a bigshot trillionaire

DAVE: i think she thinks its all pure business acumen but i think she doesnt really know what shes doing

DAVE: fuckers left and right just be tripping all day long to give her money hand over fist

DAVE: of course shes gonna milk her biz cred for all its worth in this election

DAVE: shes probably a much better politician than a businesswoman actually she is like

DAVE: sinister as fuck? i mean

DAVE: she hides it well dont get me wrong

DAVE: also she isnt too hard on the eyes which wont hurt her chances one bit

DAVE: but shes going to be BRUTAL on their pocketbooks just you wait

KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS.

DAVE: she doesnt know the nuances of sound comprehensive fiscal policy like i do

DAVE: my skills are fucking legendary

DAVE: i manipulated the stock market to assume control of the literal majority of all currency on the planet once

DAVE: granted the economy was run by lobotomized reptiles but still

DAVE: wait that was speciesist sorry

DAVE: the point stands though i know what im doing

DAVE: what do you think is going to happen when jane takes over and the economy crashes

KARKAT: I...

KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW???

DAVE: its going to be pandemonium

KARKAT: WILL IT ACTUALLY BE THOUGH?!

DAVE: well

DAVE: i dunno

DAVE: ok if shit goes sideways i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles and pauper chess men standing in bread lines or anything

DAVE: thats just the nature of alchemy-based post-scarcity economies the depressions tend to be pretty mild

DAVE: but it will still be bad

DAVE: a healthy economy is fuckin IMPORTANT

DAVE: if for no other reason than it protects the societal context for what it means to be fucking rich, like us

KARKAT: JUST A THOUGHT. LET’S COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT CAMPAIGN SLOGAN THAN THAT, OK?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but the point is just

DAVE: i guess

DAVE: she sucks and shouldnt be president the end

DAVE: you dont even have to think about economic shit i can do that for you

DAVE: ill be like the treasury secretary or something

DAVE: just please tell me youll do this

DAVE: do it for the trolls do it for the economy do it for the mayor

DAVE: but most of all

DAVE: (sniff)

DAVE: do it for obama

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT DAVE.

KARKAT: I DON’T REALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT POLITICS, OR BEING A LEADER ANYMORE, AND I THINK YOU KNOW THAT.

KARKAT: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ECONOMY, AND WHILE I’M SURE THIS OBAMA FELLOW WAS A HELL OF A GUY, I COULDN’T GIVE LESS A FUCK ABOUT HIM EITHER.

KARKAT: BUT...

KARKAT: I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.

KARKAT: SO

KARKAT: I’LL DO IT.

KARKAT: WHY NOT.

DAVE: nice!

DAVE: aw yeah

DAVE: you wont regret it this is gonna be dope

DAVE: i think we have a great shot too

DAVE: with my political savvy and economic genius and outrageous flair for subversive anti establishment messaging and propaganda, and your big loud fucking mouth...

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK

DAVE: um i guess also your charisma and likability and shit

KARKAT: YEAH.

KARKAT: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT...

KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN FAKE THOSE THINGS WELL ENOUGH.

DAVE: oh also

DAVE: your weirdly sincere humility

KARKAT: I PREFER THE TERM “SELF LOATHING” ACTUALLY.

DAVE: ok lets try to avoid that phrase on the campaign trail too

KARKAT: THIS ALREADY SOUNDS LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS.

KARKAT: CAN’T I JUST

KARKAT: READ A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT YOU WRITE FOR ME OFF A TELEPROMPTER?

DAVE: yeah there will definitely be plenty of that

DAVE: but you also need to be natural and speak from the heart and shit

DAVE: just like

DAVE: talk to your people

DAVE: about stuff they care about

KARKAT: “MY PEOPLE”?

KARKAT: YOU MEAN TROLLS??

DAVE: oh

DAVE: yeah i guess that sounded bad sorry

DAVE: but yeah exactly

DAVE: trolls

DAVE: thats gonna be your base so you gotta rile em up

DAVE: inspire them

DAVE: i dont think you need any fancy speeches to do that youll be a natural

KARKAT: IF YOU SAY SO.

KARKAT: SO WHAT DO WE ACTUALLY... DO?

KARKAT: I MEAN, NEXT?

DAVE: time to talk some strategy

DAVE: we need to rally as much high profile support to our cause as we can

DAVE: but there are some uh

DAVE: “lines of loyalty” to figure out

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: i mean which of our friends are going to side with us and which ones will side with jane

DAVE: pretty much all of us are famous and popular all over earth to some degree

DAVE: some of us more so with certain kingdoms than others

DAVE: so some key endorsements going either way could swing the whole election

KARKAT: OH, GREAT

KARKAT: SO IT ALL COMES DOWN TO HOW MANY FAMOUS HUMANS LIKE ME BETTER THAN JANE?

KARKAT: WE’RE FUCKED.

DAVE: well no not so fast

DAVE: lets think it through

DAVE: youll have overwhelming support in the troll kingdom and so does kanaya

DAVE: shes pretty much a lock to be on your side

DAVE: dirk unfortunately is just as much a lock for jane im gonna guess

DAVE: but after that its kind of a free for all

DAVE: roxy and calliope will probably be neutral

DAVE: they have a lot of pull with the carapacians though so that would be a nice score to sway them

DAVE: rose will probably claim neutrality at first but im betting she can be cajoled by her wife to our side

DAVE: and once we get rose converting roxy probably wont be too hard

DAVE: as for jade...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: uh

DAVE: i think its fair to say shes going to be on our side

KARKAT: YEAH

DAVE: maybe a little too much so

KARKAT: UM, YEAH

KARKAT: I WASN’T GOING TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT, BUT YEAH, I GET WHAT YOU MEAN.

DAVE: of course we want her help and her endorsement will go a long way but

DAVE: i think we gotta sort out like

DAVE: a hierarchical approach to campaign strategy

DAVE: keep it organized and disciplined with roles well defined

DAVE: not let things get too murky with uh

DAVE: personal shit?

KARKAT: I THINK WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE HERE, DAVE.

DAVE: ok cool

DAVE: anyway lets come back to the jade issue later

DAVE: uh lets see who else

KARKAT: EGBERT?

DAVE: right

DAVE: john should be easy to convince but im not sure how much of a factor hell be in this campaign

DAVE: have no idea how long hell be away on this “mission” rose mentioned

KARKAT: WHAT? WHAT MISSION?

DAVE: dunno shes been hella cagey about it

DAVE: swore me to secrecy until the right time whenever that is

DAVE: anyway his endorsement would go a long way in swinging the consort kingdom

KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE HUGE.

KARKAT: AREN’T THERE LIKE

KARKAT: 100 BILLION OF THOSE FUCKERS?

KARKAT: SECURING THAT VOTING BLOCK SHOULD BE ABLE TO WIN THE WHOLE THING FOR US.

DAVE: well no the population isnt THAT big but yes its by far the most populous kingdom

DAVE: swinging them our way should help a lot but it wont be enough to decide the whole thing

DAVE: consorts overwhelm the other kingdoms in sheer numbers but due to unscrupulous gerrymandering, all kinds of fucked up voter suppression policies and some electoral “counterbalancing” measures to account for their ridiculous population growth rate their voting power per capita is kind of pathetic

DAVE: also its hard to drive turnout

DAVE: this may come as a shock but legions of easily distracted low information amphibians primarily concerned with eating bugs and farming god damned mushrooms arent the most politically motivated demographic

DAVE: so to get them out to the polls well need to get them REALLY excited

KARKAT: OK.

KARKAT: I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO TRUST YOUR EXPERTISE ON THAT, SINCE I DON’T KNOW THE FIRST FUCKING THING ABOUT HOW TO INSPIRE AN UNINTELLIGENT LIZARD.

DAVE: yeah well

DAVE: i dont either

DAVE: but that brings us to jake

KARKAT: OH, FUCK.

DAVE: no this is important

DAVE: jake is a huge wild card here

DAVE: im sure his endorsement would be completely up for grabs

DAVE: he could go any way including just getting turned off by the whole thing and staying “apolitical”

DAVE: so we have to be careful about how we approach him

DAVE: jake is the only one of us whos wildly popular in all four kingdoms

KARKAT: WELL, I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT.

DAVE: yeah so an endorsement from him would be huge

DAVE: seriously just running one ad of him doing his double pistol winking bullshit with a thing under it saying “VOTE KARKAT” might be enough to win the whole election

DAVE: just have to get the fickle bastard to agree to that which could be tricky

DAVE: and honestly id be shocked if jane hasnt already started courting his vote

DAVE: theres no way she doesnt understand the political stakes

KARKAT: SO...

KARKAT: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE JAKESTAKES THEN.

DAVE: pretty much

DAVE: the jakestakes 2.0

KARKAT: WHAT

KARKAT: THERE WAS A 1.0?

KARKAT: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?

DAVE: oh thats like

DAVE: a whole story

KARKAT: IS THIS GOING TO BE ANOTHER ANECDOTE ABOUT THE JAKE SQUAD I WON’T CARE ABOUT AND DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR?

DAVE: that sounds like the exact kind of opinion youd have about it so yeah

KARKAT: THEN I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT.

DAVE: ok

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: shit hold up

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: dirks calling me

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT?

DAVE: idk he just calls me out of the blue from time to time to talk shit

DAVE: usually about nothing whatsoever

DAVE: hell probably joke about how he needs me to cut off his head

KARKAT: HUH???

DAVE: its a running gag hes been running into the ground for years

DAVE: motherfucker is dedicated to his memes ill give him that

KARKAT: YOU SAID HE’S GOING TO BE A CROCKER LOYALIST RIGHT?

DAVE: oh absolutely

DAVE: no doubt about it

KARKAT: YOU DON’T THINK HE’S TRYING TO DO SOME...

KARKAT: RECONNAISSANCE WORK HERE?

KARKAT: LIKE, INTEL GATHERING?

DAVE: he doesnt even know youre entering the race yet

DAVE: no one does

KARKAT: OK. GOOD.

KARKAT: I GUESS YOU’D BETTER ANSWER THEN.

DAVE: ok well i missed the call while we were bullshitting about it

DAVE: but yeah ill just call him back now

DAVE: sup

DIRK: Hey dude.

DIRK: Got your sword handy?

DAVE: always

DIRK: Good. See, I’m in sort a bind here.

DIRK: And I’m afraid there’s only one way out.

KARKAT: OK, I’M FUCKING LEAVING.

[catfoodblog]

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? Unveiling the Dos and Don'ts for Your Feline Friend

Walnuts, a nutritionally rich delight for us, beckon the question: Can our feline friends partake in this nutty goodness, or does it spell trouble? Join us on a journey to explore the risks and benefits of introducing walnuts into your cat's culinary repertoire.

Introduction to Walnuts and Cats: A Nutritional Conundrum

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? Walnuts, those delectable seeds thriving in temperate climates, boast antioxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin E, and protein—a nutritional bonanza for humans. But can our obligate carnivores, our beloved cats, reap the same rewards? Despite the allure of sharing our walnut snacks, it's crucial to respect their unique dietary needs.

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? The Verdict: A Nutritional Balancing Act

In moderation, walnuts can be a cat-friendly treat. Laden with healthy fats, vitamins, and minerals, they can contribute to your cat's skin health and digestion when appropriately portioned.

Understanding the Risks: Navigating the High-Fat Maze and Mycotoxins

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? A word of caution is in order. The high-fat content in walnuts poses a risk of pancreatitis if overfed. Additionally, they house tremorgenic mycotoxins, fungal toxins that may trigger neurological issues. While the occasional nibble might not harm your feline companion, making walnuts a regular indulgence could pose health risks.

Safety Measures for Feeding Walnuts to Cats: A Gradual Approach

Cats, with their keen senses and curiosity, may find walnuts intriguing. However, their digestive systems aren't designed for excessive plant-based fats and proteins. Introduce walnuts gradually and keep a watchful eye for signs of upset stomach or pancreatitis.

Are Walnuts Poisonous to Cats? Assessing the Risks

While not inherently toxic, walnuts come with risks due to their high-fat content and mycotoxins. Excessive consumption may lead to health issues. Practicing moderation and closely monitoring your cat's response are crucial.

Benefits of Walnuts for Cats in Moderation: Nutrient Goodies

In small amounts, walnuts offer nutritional value for cats, including protein for muscle strength, healthy fats for a glossy coat, vitamin E for immune health, magnesium for metabolic function, and antioxidants for cellular well-being. However, these nutrients should primarily come from high-quality animal-based proteins.

Guidelines for Feeding Walnuts to Cats: Portion Control

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? While there's no one-size-fits-all serving, consider these general guidelines:

How to Safely Feed Walnuts to Cats: A Tasty Approach

Ensure a secure walnut treat experience for your cat:

Consider Cat-Friendly Alternatives and Supplements: A Culinary Palette

If you're seeking cat-friendly options, consider:

Quality cat food brands like Tiki Cat, Dave's Pet Food, American Journey, Instinct, and Wellness Core provide balanced nutrition.

In Conclusion: Can Cats Eat Walnuts? A Moderation Mantra

While the occasional walnut treat is unlikely to cause harm, moderation is key. Cats thrive on primarily meat-based proteins, so consult your vet before introducing new foods. Your cat's well-being is paramount, and a balanced, cat-friendly diet ensures their optimal health and happiness.

[philipperblog]

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? Why Walnuts Are a No-No for Your Feline Friend

Nutritionally rich and enticing, walnuts make a delightful snack for us humans. But what about our feline companions? Can cats safely indulge in the goodness of walnuts, or is it a recipe for disaster? Let's explore the potential risks and benefits of incorporating walnuts into your cat's diet.

Introduction to Walnuts and Cats

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? Walnuts, those edible seeds from walnut trees thriving in temperate climates, offer a plethora of antioxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin E, and protein—a nutritional jackpot for humans. However, the burning question for cat parents is whether these benefits extend to our feline friends. Despite the tempting idea of sharing our walnut treats with cats, it's crucial to acknowledge their distinct nutritional needs as obligate carnivores.

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? The Verdict

In small quantities, walnuts are generally safe for cats. Packed with healthy fats, vitamins, and minerals, they can contribute positively to skin health and digestion when portioned correctly.

Understanding the Risks: High Fat and Mycotoxins

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? However, caution is advised. Walnuts, with their high-fat content, can potentially lead to pancreatitis if overfed. Additionally, they harbor tremorgenic mycotoxins, a fungal toxin that may cause neurological issues. While an occasional nibble may not harm your feline friend, making walnuts a regular treat could pose health risks.

Safety Measures for Feeding Walnuts to Cats

Cats, with their keen sense of smell and natural curiosity, may find walnuts intriguing. Yet, their digestive systems aren't equipped to handle excessive plant-based fats and proteins. Introduce walnuts gradually and monitor your cat for any signs of upset stomach or pancreatitis.

Are Walnuts Poisonous to Cats?

While not inherently toxic, walnuts carry risks due to their high-fat content and mycotoxins. Excessive consumption may lead to health issues. Practicing moderation and closely observing your cat's response are essential.

Benefits of Walnuts for Cats in Moderation

In limited amounts, walnuts can offer nutritional value to cats, including protein for muscle strength, healthy fats for a shiny coat, vitamin E for immune health, magnesium for metabolic function, and antioxidants for reducing cell damage. However, these nutrients should primarily come from high-quality animal-based proteins.

Guidelines for Feeding Walnuts to Cats

Can Cats Eat Walnuts? There's no standard serving size for cats, but here are some general guidelines:

How to Safely Feed Walnuts to Cats

Ensure a safe walnut treat experience for your cat:

Consider Cat-Friendly Alternatives and Supplements

If you're looking for cat-friendly options, consider offering:

Quality cat food brands such as Tiki Cat, Dave's Pet Food, American Journey, Instinct, and Wellness Core provide balanced nutrition.

In Conclusion: Can Cats Eat Walnuts?

While the occasional walnut treat is unlikely to cause serious harm, moderation is key. Cats thrive on primarily meat-based proteins, so consult your vet before introducing new foods. Your cat's well-being is paramount, and a balanced, cat-friendly diet ensures their optimal health and happiness.

[integritydental]

REDISCOVERING YOUR SMILE: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO DENTAL IMPLANTS AT INTEGRITY DENTAL

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to Integrity Dental, the place where we prioritize your smile. If you’re eager to learn about the world of dental implants—a revolutionary remedy for tooth loss—you’re in the right place. As popularity surges for this solution, discover how you can regain that iconic Aussie smile with this comprehensive guide.

UNDERSTANDING DENTAL IMPLANTS

What are dental implants? Think of them as the superheroes of modern dentistry. Crafted from titanium, these tiny screws replace your natural tooth roots and provide a foundation for the replacement teeth. It’s like getting a second chance at flaunting a natural, radiant smile.

WHY CHOOSE DENTAL IMPLANTS?

Considering dental implants? Here’s why they’re a fantastic choice:

THE NATURAL FEEL

Dental implants aren’t just a visual treat. They feel like your natural teeth, ensuring you eat, laugh, and speak without any hitches.

UNWAVERING STABILITY

Imagine planting a gum tree—it stands tall and unyielding against the test of time. Similarly, dental implants offer unparalleled sturdiness, promising a solution that truly lasts.

THE PROCEDURE AT INTEGRITY DENTAL

Embarking on this journey? Here’s a snapshot:

INITIAL CONSULTATION

Your adventure begins with an in-depth discussion where our professionals assess your needs, laying the foundation for a customized plan.

THE IMPLANT SURGERY

The main event is smoother than a ride through the Outback. Our adept dentists will carefully place the titanium screws, ensuring you’re comfortable throughout.

THE GRAND FINALE

With the implants securely bonded, the final puzzle pieces, your replacement teeth, are put in place. The result? A mesmerizing smile, rivaling the beauty of Sydney’s fireworks display.

POST-PROCEDURE CARE AND MAINTENANCE

Your dental implants, much like a cherished Vegemite sandwich, deserve the best care. Stick to regular cleaning habits and visit us for periodic checks to ensure longevity.

COST CONSIDERATIONS

While dental implants may initially seem like a splurge, view them as a long-term investment. At Integrity Dental, we value transparency and offer flexible payment options tailored for you.

TESTIMONIALS FROM OUR MATES

"Sheila from Melbourne raves, "The team at Integrity Dental transformed my life with dental implants. No more hesitations while eating my favorite Aussie treats, and my self-confidence is off the charts!" Dave from Brisbane adds, "The entire process was seamless. The staff at Integrity Dental aren’t just experts—they’re like family."

THE IMPACT ON QUALITY OF LIFE

ENHANCED FUNCTIONS

Bite into a meat pie or pronounce ‘G’day’ flawlessly—enjoy these simple joys once again with dental implants.

PRESERVATION OF FACIAL STRUCTURE

Keep the youthful vigour of a Bondi Beach enthusiast with implants that prevent jawbone deterioration.

CONCLUSION

To sum it up, if you yearn to reclaim your radiant Aussie smile, Integrity Dental’s dental implants are your best bet. From our dedicated experts to cutting-edge technology, we promise a transformative experience. Why ponder any longer? Dive in, book a consultation at Integrity Dental, and embark on your path to a mesmerizing smile. As the Aussies say, "Good on ya!"

FAQS

1. How long do dental implants last? With proper care, dental implants can last a lifetime.

2. Are dental implants painful? The procedure is done under anesthesia, ensuring minimal discomfort.

3. Can anyone get dental implants? Most individuals can, but an initial assessment determines suitability.

4. How do dental implants compare to dentures? Implants offer a more permanent, stable, and natural-feeling solution compared to dentures.

5. Are there any food restrictions post-procedure? Once healed, you can enjoy all your favorite foods without restrictions.

[warhead]

[snkrcollctn]

The Air Max 90 'Bacon' 2021 was inspired by a collaboration with Dave's Quality Meat. Originally released in 2004, this 2021 drop includes an off-white leather base overlaid by red suede, with pink leather marking the Swoosh and brown TPU accents throughout, all designed to look like strips of bacon. Underfoot, the heel of the midsole includes visible Air for cushioning, giving way to a rubber waffle outsole for traction

[kookmark]

Reasons to Love Wendy's

Wendy's is known for its fresh, never frozen beef, which they use in their burgers.

They also offer a variety of other menu items, including chicken sandwiches, salads, sides, and desserts.

Wendy's has a commitment to using high-quality ingredients, and they have made efforts to source their food from sustainable and responsible sources.

There are many reasons to love Wendy's! Here are just a few:

Fresh, never frozen beef: Wendy's uses only fresh beef for their burgers, which gives them a juicy and delicious flavor.

High-quality ingredients: Wendy's is committed to using high-quality ingredients, including fresh produce and responsibly-sourced meat.

Variety of menu items: Whether you're in the mood for a classic burger or a salad, Wendy's has something for everyone on their menu.

Great value: Wendy's offers a variety of deals and promotions, so you can get a delicious meal at an affordable price.

Fast service: Wendy's is a fast-food chain, so you can get your food quickly and easily.

Freshly prepared food: Wendy's prepares their food to order, so you can be sure that your meal is fresh and hot.

Innovation: Wendy's is constantly introducing new menu items and innovations, such as their Baconator fries and spicy chicken nuggets.

Overall, Wendy's is a great choice for fast and delicious food made with high-quality ingredients.

Wendy's menu

Wendy's menu includes a variety of burgers, chicken sandwiches, salads, sides, and desserts. Here's a list of some of their most popular menu items:

Dave's Single: A classic burger made with a quarter-pound of fresh, never frozen beef, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, ketchup, and mayo.

Baconator: A double burger with six strips of applewood-smoked bacon, two quarter-pound patties of fresh beef, American cheese, ketchup, and mayo.

Spicy Chicken Sandwich: A crispy chicken fillet with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, served on a toasted bun.

Classic Chicken Sandwich: A juicy chicken fillet with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, served on a toasted bun.

Southwest Avocado Chicken Salad: A salad with grilled chicken, diced tomatoes, bacon, shredded pepper jack cheese, and avocado, served on a bed of lettuce with Southwest Ranch Dressing.

Chili: A hearty chili made with Wendy's signature beef, beans, and a blend of spices.

French Fries: Classic french fries made with natural-cut potatoes and sea salt.

Baked Potato: A large baked potato topped with butter, sour cream, and chives.

Frosty: A classic chocolate or vanilla soft-serve dessert.

Chicken Nuggets: Bite-sized pieces of breaded chicken breast, served with your choice of dipping sauce.

Wendy's also offers a variety of other menu items, including salads, wraps, and other sides like onion rings and mac and cheese.

[the-firebird69]

You people are very stupid you sat there arranging and harassing our son and tons of people figured out your s*** and they're all over you pulling your idiots in now if you can't understand that just raise your hand like you have every time for years and you're doing this we don't want your plans to succeed don't get us wrong then holy s*** are you a freaking mess I said the whole time it's not going to work in any way and it's not at all matter of fact you're running up to everybody asking them to stop you you're so hokey who the hell taught you to be so stupid the answer is you did Charles Manson can't hold his tongue cherry cheese and can't hold his tongue and then you can't hold your tongue at all AKA Dave. What a ridiculous group absolutely obscene to our son you're obscene little s**** you can't see what's happening to you you say you're losing. He said they won't back off him for the price of nothing and we need to finish this s*** heads off and take all their stuff including territory not to give an inch it's always f****** weasels who let them do this in order to take what crappy robots you think that they make his quality their dog s*** we were in the factories and I couldn't do anything when we left just looked at their products you dont understand that stuff but we do. So the assholes yell yet our son to show him so he can see he's in some Castle in Britain since you're in a sightseeing tour how the hell are you supposed to see anything there s*** head just go with your robots you s*** as soon as they're doing s*** so the guy forgot about it then remembered went looked. He saw his robust being ripped out. He sat there and wined for an hour and yes slapped himself around and called for reinforcements here. Fell over in his apartment on the ground and his head three times where he got up and he said oh I see their on me. Our son said they're on me all the time and I'm not even doing anything you say all this s*** Jesus f****** Christ so the guys struggling and losing robots yelling at people look to you and says I'm actually telling me off why don't you get the f*** out of here now you don't have to do anything with any plans are you still have that president get the f*** out of here are you dead I'll Make You dead you want to f****** happens. So he looks around and says the guy is going insane with hatred all the time cuz I'm sitting here blabbing out my plans and going to be religious already ruined doesn't want me around cuz I keep having him say stuff following him pushing him I'm sorry getting something is it doing it for years and some wrong thing to do it looks like the suicidal piece of s*** ppl hate him for it. So our son says get the f*** away from me cuz Charles went Manson says I've written to do it in all of my life since you have no right to be near me get the f*** away from you you're dead. So you got up and left no you sat there for another hour and a sun sitting there hitting them and hitting him and hitting him and hitting him she get the f*** out of here. You don't know what's happening to you it's your bothering me so you're losing you stupid c********* f****** f**** get the f*** out of here get the f*** out of here now dead meat. So you said that to him and we get them out of here he doesn't want to see you here then and Dave you're f****** failures just keep blaming him for your failures you're running around screaming at everybody with the answers are we need you to f*** out of here your losers. So yesterday left after you get hit for an hour it started to feel pain constantly nobody else is pushing them out his sister just telling them what to do but really it's not helping anybody this piece of crap draining them it's a nasty nasty show and he wants him out so I'm ordering it now

Thor Freya

[randomvarious]

1990s Techno Playlist

Got a huge update for this playlist that I somehow haven’t managed to touch in months 😧. Well, actually, let me clarify that...the update’s huge for YouTube, but not so much for Spotify, since Spotify’s techno library is, sadly, severely lacking. I mean, most of the tracks I’m adding today come from one of the most important labels in techno history, Berlin’s Tresor, and Spotify has barely any of them! For shame, Spotify!

Funny though, the two Tresor tracks that I was able to find on Spotify actually now end up bookending the playlist: X-101′s “Sonic Destroyer,” a classic, hard-nosed, buzzing early 90s raver, and Hiroaki Iizuka’s “Tera,” one of those rhythmically walloping and super hypnotic, tribal kinds of grooves. Plus, I also threw in probably one of the most oddball tracks to ever chart in the top 5 in the UK with Underworld’s “Born Slippy,” which earned its fame thanks to its inclusion in the 1996 film, Trainspotting. Some people have even gone so far as to call that song electronic music’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

X-101 - “Sonic Destroyer” Underworld - “Born Slippy” Hiroaki Iizuka - “Tera”

Now, for the YouTubes: it’s a lot. I added a bunch of songs that I’d struggled to find previously from a trio of legendary labels: Paris’ F Communications, the Netherlands’ Djax-Up-Beats, and Glasgow’s Soma Quality Recordings. I also added some great tracks that were showcased on Josh Wink’s Profound Sounds, Vol. 1 mix from 1999. And on top of that, I poured in a good bunch from the Tresor label too. 

And I think, since this is something of an immense update, that if you want the true cream of the crop here within all of these adds, you should go towards the end of the playlist and find “Bored Meat” by Berlin’s DisX3 and “Mala Mazza” by Amsterdam’s Diskordia. Both of those tracks are featured on Tresor’s Annex 3 compilation, and while all the songs in this update are great, it’s those two particular beauties especially, which just so happen to be lined up back-to-back, that are simply *on another level* to me 😌. And don’t sleep on Funk D’Void’s “V-Ger” either! 🤩

Here’s a list of tracks from the update that only exclusively appear on YouTube and not on Spotify:

Laurent Garnier - “Breathless (Edit)” Phaedrus - “Tesla” Aurora Borealis - “The Milky Way (Edit)” Holy Ghost - “MK Ultra” Funk D’Void - “V-Ger” Group X - “Journey” Marko Laine - “So What” Blue Arsed Fly - “Bucket” Cristian Vogel - “Lock Onto the Signal” Pacou - “T.4″ Naohisa Furusawa - “E++” Marshall Jefferson - “The Horse” Maas - “Look At Me Now Falling (I.Cube Simple Mix)” Tobias Schmidt - “Cosmetic Pollution” Blaze - “Lovelee Dae (Eight Miles High Mix)” DisX 3 - “The Wide Theatre” Stacey Pullen Presents Black Odyssey - “Sweat” Christian Smith & John Selway - “Silver” Josh Wink - “Untitled” The Advent - “Sketched for Life (Salsa mix)” Dave Tarrida - “Mouse Catcher General” DisX3 - “Bored Meat” Diskordia - “Mala Mazza” Kijitora - “Butterfly Control”

Playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So now this thing is really finally starting to take shape, at least on YouTube. We’ve got about 3 hours and 20 minutes worth of songs on Spotify, but almost 7 hours now on Youtube. And there’s still so much more to add 😅.

But wait, we’re still not done yet! Also have another 90s techno playlist that’s specifically focused on the year 1997. Again, the Spotify one is far inferior to the YouTube one:

Spotify / YouTube / YouTube Music

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!