#dats a lotta grots

[fauxmystique]

Diary of an Ork

Diary of an Ork

Gork’s ‘Andz - 57

Braindoc sayz keep gernal, using dis ere old umie data slate to talk. We’z been on diz planit for so long, we’ze cum smart enuff to count. Z���been 57 hands of days. Dayz? Days? Woh evaMork’s Handz - 129Found me old data slate. Some grot tried to nick it. Ate ‘im. We’z bigga now, been fightin a long, long time. Have a new boy. Logistix ‘e calls ‘imself. Doesn’t sound very orky to me, buh’ ‘e sayz it’ll win us da war. Den we can go fight somwherez else!!

Grot’s Stew - 111Can’t recall the last time we had grot stew. They’ve grown thick on us, they keep turnin us un-orky. We’ve ‘ad to beat a lotta ladz down. Ladz from my squad. Good ladz.I hate this fuckin rock.

Winter - 20

Somefin blew up. Made the air all cold, and the ladz all sticky. My body burned for a while. “Cancerz” doc says. Don’t know what those are. Killed a lot o’ the grots tho. We’ze been in one place too long. Too many ladz ‘ave earned names to count. Dere’s gonna be a split soon, mark my words.

Da Splitz - 35

Well, dat’z in. War’s ovah. Not against the enemy, nah, they keep comin. Big bosses ‘ad them selves an arena match. Got bloody. Lotta ladz died. Lotta ladz… killed other ladz. Anyway. Dork’ll fix it. And Mork’ll see it done. Dey always ‘ave, alwayz will.I joined up, of course. Nobhead, I am, I joined up. Went with the black orkz though, the old guard. Da Goffs. Weirdboyz’ve been poppin up. Preachin tha good word of dancin an’ singin. One’z ‘ead popped a few weekz back. Funniest shit I’ve evah seen.Gork’z Andz - 25

‘Ello lad. The war’z goin great. Once we stopped fightin eachova, we killed the shit out of those brainy boyz. Well, some of ‘em got brainz anyway, hurhur. I’m a Nob now. Got my own squad, serve da Boss Goff. ‘s Name is Gothmog.Gork’z Andz - 26Ello Lad. we’s been round da sun one time. Seemed important, idkMork’z Andz - 2

Forgot dis was ‘ere. Ello Load. Fightin’ got dense. Made it out but… we lost da boss. And er… we lost a few of the otha nobz. Gonna have to find new drinkin buddiez, I guess. Oh yeah, we’z growing now. Mushroomz and beerz and such. S’alright, but I prefer the old stuff. Nothing like a grot stew.

Mork’z Andz - 10

8 yrz, Ello Lad. I’ve decided to call you Lad. Ello. Today woz a big day. I’m da Boss now. Weirdboyz are tellin me a lot of stuff. Thingz about Mork and Gork. About a Great Enemy. It scarze me. An’ I can’t let anybody know, dey sayz. Well, I told ‘em, I’m da boss, and so I’ll tell me Ladz!Dey laughed at me. Dey laughed at Da Boss. Seemz like Da Boss has some kleanin’ to do.Mork’z Andz - 2010 yrz, Ello Lad. Got rid o’ them weirdboyz and told the Ladz about Gork and Mork and da Great Enemy and stuff. We agreed we could probably fight it, so the war’z back on. Got some ‘umie ships shoin’ up in atmosphere. Heh. Some Mek’z ‘ll be ere soon, dey sayz. Gonna have a Rocket Boy time soon.Mork’z Andz - 3010 yrz, Ello Lad.I hate this bloody rok. I ‘ate that I waz born ere. I know now dat dere’s ovah rockz. I wizh I’z born on one o’ dem.Me squig died.I ‘ate this bloody rok.Grot’s Stew80 yrz, Ello Lad.

Been a rocket boy six yearz now. Went up in one o’ da rokkitz. Mek boy said it might explode. Don’t care. Built it meself, my girl wouldn’t ‘zplode on me like that. Course, she spilled her guts all over the enemy. Dey lit like torchez in da night. Like bonfires dey burned. Gorgeous. I kept da power core. I’m gonna put it-

‘old on lad. Tonitz gonna be a bad one. They got flyboyz now. The enemy. Bombz’re comin.Da Splitz - 10

??? yrz. Ello Lad.

Thought I’d lost you. Found you in da rubble. It made me feel somfink. Somefink I never felt before. It makez me think about my ladz. The ladz I lost. The ladz I… killed. Would dey ‘ave been alive, if I ‘adn’t spared them? Would dey be ‘ere, still my ladz? I ‘ope not. Don’t know wot that even means.

Da splitz - 12

2 yrz. Ello Lad.Got some info on wot da ‘umies call dis place. Oktarius. Weirdboyz are back. Might kill ‘em again, might not. Dey say it used to be Orruk. They urge me to find ‘is blood. Dey say.. Dey say dis iz da Big One.

Diary of an Orruk Warboss found on the surface of Octarius -- Stored in Crypt Arkmek until further study can be made --- The Omnissiah Protects even They