#damn i should pop up in tumblr more but i just don't have time the studies has taken meeeee

[angel-of-the-moons]

Idk how tumblr works so, apologies ig this isnt a request place.

But i was thinking poly johnny cage and kenshi x reader, where its just fluff with johnny and reader helping kenshi get dressed, bc hes blind, or something like that♡

Gods im soft for this poly relationship😫

Nahhh you getting something because ashslnsl this shit is cute as fuuuuck

Little Wonders

Kenshi x Johnny x Reader

TW/CW: None!

A/N: This is what I was talking about @crimsonbubble lol

🗡️🎥🗡️🎥🗡️🎥🗡️🎥🗡️🎥

Yet again, Kenshi ripped the shirt open to try and rebutton it. He had been at it for almost twenty minutes, now; having to undo the pearl baubles and slip them back into their holes again.

Only to find that this time, he was not one--but two buttons off and the shirt was still lopsided.

He let out a frustrated hiss and yanked the buttons free, this time snagging one so hard the little object popped out of its stitching and skittered across the bedroom floor.

Hanging his head in defeat, Kenshi felt around until he found the foot of your ridiculously large bed, plopping down and sinking into the downy soft mattress with a hefty sigh.

Kenshi could easily call Sento to him; use the magic sword to grant him his sight so he could see enough to map out the buttons, to get dressed by himself like a grown adult should be able to do.

But without Sento, he was as blind as a newborn kitten. And Sento wasn't a crutch. Kenshi needed to learn how to do things without his eyes, to adjust. Because it's not exactly subtle or publicly acceptable to carry a goddamn katana with you to a red carpet event. Which is what he had been trying to get ready for. He just wanted to wait until you and Johnny were preoccupied with swimming out some of your pre-event jitters in his pool to try, to get some of the privacy he needed to spare his dignity. He needed to learn how to do this, how to cope...

He couldn't walk around like you or Johnny without some sort of aid, couldn't dress himself properly anymore... he was damn lucky he could still feed himself without assistance.

"Oh, Kenshi..." He heard you sigh from the threshold of your bedroom door. You and Johnny smelled like the chlorine from the pool; your bathing suits had been stripped away and you both wore your plush bath robes to ward the chill off your naked bodies.

"If you'd asked us, we could have helped you, Ken." Johnny replied as well, moving to sit next to him as you began to gently unbutton the expensive silk blouse.

"You shouldn't have to." He retorted, "I should be able to do it--"

"Hush." You say to him gently, your fingers gently touching his lips to quiet him. Johnny slipped a hand around the back of Kenshi's neck, kneading the thick knots of tension he found there. His mouth twisted briefly into a slight frown when he felt just how tense he was.

"C'mon, babe!" Johnny said. Kenshi could practically hear the cock-eyed smirk Johnny had on his face. "You know we don't mind. Though, taking your shirt off is more fun than putting one on--"

"Oi! Shut it!" You snort, swatting at him before putting Kenshi's popped shirt on the dresser before pulling out one of Johnny's to put on him.

"Abuse! Abuse!" Johnny laid across his lap dramatically, feigning injury. "Oh, oh my god! Kenshi, do you hear how our lovely partner is treating me?! I swear, I should have you locked up!"

He can't help but smile, despite it all. It never failed. Whenever he was down in the dumps, dealing with his new "handicap" as he so deprecatingly referred to it as, the two of you swooped in to cheer him up, pulling a smile out of him when he thought there was none to be had.

"Hah! Like they'd believe you, you drama queen." You scoff, flicking him in his nose. "Now get up, you cry baby!"

Johnny snickered and laughed as he sat up, crawling onto the bed so he was sitting behind Kenshi, his legs spread to wrap around him from behind casually as he leaned back on his hands.

"Kenshi, hands." You hum to him, brushing a hand through his short dark hair, bringing your hand down to touch his cheek, your thumb caressing the corners of where his eyes used to be, feeling the cratered scars left behind by Mileena's sais.

He complies, his body posture softening as you and Johnny help him slip into the soft, buttery smooth shirt.

Johnny buttons his cuffs while you button his front.

"I..." Kenshi tried to find the words; anything to say to the two of you about why you shouldn't be helping him, that he needs to relearn these things on his own.

Johnny interrupts him first: "Nope." He hums, burying his face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the mixed scent of his own shirt and Kenshi's favorite body wash that still lingered on his skin.

"Can already hear those gears working on your head, Ken. Stop it."

"We're a team, Kenshi." You say to him, cupping his cheeks in your hand as Johnny effectively becomes a human koala bear.

"And we aren't going to let you struggle on your own. It's not weakness to ask for help from those you love. A strong individual knows you can't survive without it."

"Without what exactly?" He sighed, relaxing into the two of you.

"Love, you fuckin' goober." You snicker, leaning down to kiss him, his stubble brushing your face softly.

If he could, Kenshi Takahashi would have cried.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

You don't wind any bows around your opinions. Can't say I hate that even if I myself would never dare be so self assured.

The way you answered this ask:

https://www.tumblr.com/beautifulpersonpeach/769438426516815872/bpp-i-was-having-a-conversation-with-a-friend-the?source=share

Please. You cannot say Namjoon's weakness is being 'morally gray' and just bolt. I need more because I am intrigued what you mean by this, how you came to hold this opinion. I hope you get a chance to see his RPWP film because it might aid your assessment.

Also, Yoongi big dick? Metaphorically, you mean, right?

*

Ask 2:

You're back!!! I was already worried you might have left tumblr, I'm glad you didn't. I always appreciate your take on different matters even though I do not always agree with you.

You said in one of your answers you see Namjoon as morally grey and that being on of his weaknesses. Would you mind elaborating why you see him like that and why you think it's a weakness? I think it's a very interesting way to perceive him.

*

Ask 3:

Hi happy new year Peach!

I was going through your recent posts and saw you said Rm's weakness is morally grey. That intrigued me. Isn't Rm your bias? Why do you think he's not a good person?

Can you explain this pls?

Thx!

***

Hi Anon(s),

Your link, Anon in ask 1.

Yeah, I don't think Namjoon is a good person. He's my bias and I like him but I thought this was obvious.

Granted, I don't think he's a bad or evil person either. 'Good or bad' aren't typically how I think about people anyway since most of us have had to make difficult choices at some point and generally act in our own self interest pondering moral considerations only after the fact. Joon appears to be self-aware that he's sometimes the asshole with the capacity to be much worse and that he's primarily motivated by his own personal objectives, rather than any clear creed or theology on right and wrong.

And let's be real, nobody gets to the top of an industry as morally bankrupt as the k-pop industry without being a bit of a freak. Namjoon is the leader of BTS and by virtue of his position has the closest working and personal relationship with Bang Sihyuk. K-pop is a blood sport especially at the highest levels, the men at the helm of this machine maintain a system that is sadistic, unrelenting, inhumane, absolutely ruthless - and it takes a certain kind of disposition to stick your hands into this dogfight pit of madness and take away only the things that serve you.

That's who Kim Namjoon is. In my opinion.

I'm probably telling on myself a bit here, but to be morally grey isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact I see it as a strength for some kinds of people. The reason I see Joon's moral ambiguity as a weakness is perhaps ironically, because of the power and influence he wields as RM of BTS.

Because it shows the gap between his ability and his ambition.

Because the fact is he could be, should be, wrecking more havoc on this mad house. It's not like he gives a fuck about the old cronies skimming the cream off the top or about the junior nugu idols who are trying out this industry as one of several potential career paths or about the lunatics who call themselves k-pop stans. Namjoon is one of the few idols who commands outsized power in an industry that is long overdue for cataclysmic disruption. Unlike Yoongi who frequently (but privately) grapples with the existential implications for not just himself/BTS but also for random idols as a result of his actions, Joon has no such constraints. Not to say Namjoon never reflects on the moral implications of his actions or considers what happens to other people, but that it's not a preoccupation for him. At least not to the degree it appears to be for Yoongi. Again in my opinion. His nature, as I see it, is one that allows for him to fuck it all up if he actually wants to, the moral fallout be damned.

He chooses not to because doing that doesn't particularly benefit him at this time. Rather, he's put no effort into seeing how it would benefit him.

And that's a damn shame.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Pairing: Rhett Abbott x f!reader

Word Count: 900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I don’t know, I saw a gif of Rhett being pushed onto the kitchen table and punched by his brother and I thought of this instead. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for listening to me ramble about this and for giving it shape! 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Rhett Abbott Masterlist

“I don’t see what the big deal is, doll.” Rhett opens the front door and I storm in behind him, the gentle closing of it setting me off even more.

“Don’t see the big deal? That slut was all over you and you said nothing.”

Rhett chuckles, a small smile hitching up the corner of his mouth. “She was just bein’ nice.”

I scoff, throwing my small purse onto the couch as I follow him into the kitchen. “Being nice? No one wears that low cut of a shirt and that short of a skirt and is just nice.”

Rhett opens the fridge, taking out a beer and popping it open before taking a long swig. “Was I just supposed to say I had a girlfriend?”

I cross my arms. “Oh, so you do remember I exist.”

“Why are you getting all weird about this? She just said hello-”

“Rhett, I know girls. She was touching your arm, batting her whore lashes, and all but twirling her damn hair. If I hadn’t have walked up, she would’ve shoved her hand in your pants.”

“You’re over reacting.”

“Oh really? How would you feel if it were me?”

His eyes darken slightly. “A girl shoving her hand down your pants?”

“Rhett Abbott, stop trying to change the subject! I can’t believe you didn’t mention me!”

“I didn’t think I needed to tell everyone I have a girlfriend right after they say hello!”

“You do if they dress like a whore!”

“You need to calm down!”

I can’t take it anymore. Stomping over, I push him and he barely moves, setting his beer down on the counter. “Are you pushing me?”

“Maybe I am!”

He takes a couple steps away from the counter, but I don’t back down. I try to push him again but his large hands wrap around my arms. I thrash, throwing my weight at him as he pulls me to him, spinning us around as Rhett bumps into the kitchen table. He loosens his grip momentarily and I shove all my weight at him, hands pushing against his chest and he falls back onto the table, his long, jean clad legs flailing up. Before he can stand, I jump on him, legs straddling his hips, my pulse racing, blood rushing between my legs. Rhett’s hands squeeze my hips as I fumble with the ridiculous buckle he has on, huffing audibly when it just won’t open. His hands try to help but I swat them away, finally opening the belt and unzipping his pants, pulling out his already hard cock. I lick my hand and jerk him a few times before pushing my panties aside, grateful for the dress I wore as I drop myself onto him, both of us audibly groaning as he pushes at the back of me. 

His fingers tighten on my hips and I grab his wrists, pushing them into the table on either side of his head. His eyes are wide, darkened with lust as the anger in them starts to dissipate with each move of my hips over his, a small moan escaping him. He tries to lift his head so I drop his hand and tangle my fingers into his hair, gripping him tight and pinning him down to the table as I continue to fuck him. His hand comes up and encircles my forearm, not trying to push me off him, but connecting with my skin as I take him, my orgasm quickly rising. Our breaths fill the silence, ragged and panting as the table scrapes slightly on the floor. And then the warmth rising in me pops, spreading out to the end of my limbs, my head thrown back as I cry out, hips sputtering, only vaguely aware of the pants coming out of the man under me. I look down and meet his bright blue eyes and I lean forward, gripping his hair tighter, my opposite hand moving to gently grip his throat, his nails digging into my wrist as I speak in his ear. 

“Come for me, baby.”

He grunts, mouth hanging open as little pants escape him, his seed dripping from me. We stay like that for a moment, both of us heaving and trying to catch our breaths. My hand is still wrapped around his throat, my other hand tangled in his hair as I stare down at his face, his beautiful fucked out face.

“You’re mine, Rhett Abbott. And don’t you forget it.”

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @Withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989

[asocialangel]

Hii! I hope you’re having a great day beautiful <3 I read your post “blue lock - how you hold their hands”, and while reading the Nagi section I had an idea. Do you think maybe you could write something (headcannons, short fic, I’m not picky!) where reader stops holding Nagi’s hand/sleeve because whenever reader stops Nagi never seems to try to hold readers hand again, and seems to not care/notice so reader is like “oh, I guess he finds it annoying” and stops holding onto him. Sorry if this was long- hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night/etc!

TYSM FOR ASKING 🧡 This is smart and cute maybe almost angsty and suits nagi x reader sm 😞. I did the easiest for me: half hc and half fic ! (it ended up being a teeny bit long and kinda corny oops). Have a lovely week ~

If you love, let me know (and if you don't, then let me go).

(2014 tumblr really popped off with that one)

Where you stop being affectionate to Nagi, thinking it annoys him. 0.9k words. Fluffy, tiny bit angsty.

[from previous headcanons] So you’re always the one to reach for Nagi’s hand (or sleeve, depending how you prefer it hihi)

On the other hand, he’s not often the first one to let go. He basically lets you do all the work, deciding when it starts and when it ends.

But whether you hold his hand or not, he doesn’t seem to care

And on top of that, you’ve already been told something that stuck with you:

“Y\N, you’re so clingy”.

It was a friend of yours that didn’t like physical touch, but still you questioned yourself. Were you too much ?

But to be fair, you had forgotten that sentence and went on with your life. That is until you started dating Nagi. Since you were now being affectionate, and he didn’t seem to care, you suddenly remembered. 

Therefore you started being self conscious. “Maybe I'm overdoing it and he’s annoyed by it, but won’t say it”. 

It was decided. Starting next day, you’d cut down on the hand-holding and clinginess overall.

It was 3:20pm, and Nagi would arrive anytime now. You and your boyfriend had planned to meet up for a coffee and to wander around. “Hey babe !” You said very keenly as you noticed him. You walked up to him with way more spirit than he did. And when you got close enough, you started going in for a kiss. Until you remembered your resolution: no being over the top ! You swiftly played it off and greeted him with a wave. “Uhm, hi”. Nagi was kinda startled. What stunt did you just pull off? He didn’t say anything though, and you pretended everything was absolutely normal.

He didn’t admit it, but he was really looking forward to a kiss. At least a hug. That’s how you always greet him, it’s so enjoyable it reset the whole day's mood. But ugh, he was too lazy to voice it out. “So where are we going ?”. Nagi asked, looking at you dead in the eyes. “Wherever you please, babe”. “I don’t like choosing. Please take us wherever you think’s best. The closest thing from here if that’s what you want”. It’s nice how Nagi was kind enough to let you make all the choices in your relationship, but to you it also meant he wasn't that involved in it, and let you carry the burden of all decisions alone. 

“It’s okay, follow me then”. You signed him to follow you and come closer while you started walking. As he approached you, he started sticking his hand out, thinking you were going to grab it. But you didn’t. So he just looked stupid with his hand reaching at your turned back. “Oh.” He thought. “That’s how it is today”. As you were a bit ahead of him, he had, to his biggest annoyance, walked a tiny bit faster to catch up to you. He wanted to hold your hand. He even thought about taking the initiative for the first time in his life. But, ahh it seemed bothersome. And he was shy, although he’d never admit it.

“Babe… Are you… mad ?”. You were startled. First of all because Nagi was onto the fact that something was wrong. But mostly because it was the first time *ever* he used a pet name with you. But damn, it sounded good. “You should call me that more often, Nagi. I like the ring of it”. Nagi got sulky. It almost felt like you patronized him. “But no, not at all. Why would you think that ? Is there something that’s weighing on your conscience so bad that you’re getting paranoid ?” You finally answered, playfully. You were still looking right in front of you, scared to give in if you met his eyes. 

“Then why are you acting weird ?” “Weird, what do you mean ? I’m my usual self, and in a good mood too. I was eager to see you”. “Is that so ? Then why, then why… Why didn’t you greet me like always ? With a kiss, a hug and holding hands I mean. And why are you gaslighting me too… Do you think I'm dumb ?” To anyone, his voice sounded as lifeless as always. But someone like you, who knew his kind so well, could hear the poutiness behind it. 

“So you DO notice ! And you care too, is that so ?!” “Of course I do, why wouldn't I ? You really think I'm that oblivious ? So why did you do this today ? Is this a test ?” Nagi was looking you in the eyes and you had finally turned your head to him. “I did it because I thought you disliked it. I’m always the one going in for kisses, hugs or even holding your hand. You never react to it, even when I let go. I figured that, if it mattered that little to you, might as well not bother you. Although i have to say, if you thought i was too much, you could’ve at least said so. I would’ve understood.” 

“Well I didn't say anything like that because I didn't think anything like that. I like being close to you”. “But how could I guess ! You never tell me what’s wrong or what’s right ! Everything I have to figure out on my own because you don't talk to me about it”. “I’m sorry, I thought that me not saying anything meant I liked it that way. If it annoyed me, I would've said so.” “You don't have to only point out what’s wrong ! If you love me, let me know !” you said, teary eyed. “I do love you”. And for the first time ever, Nagi went in for a kiss. A good one at that. 

[mamaladeskies]

What's Drake Doing? And Other Thoughts

Wa Gwan Delilah

So Drake just dropped 'Wah Gwan Delilah' and it's not receiving much love from twitter.

Aubrey's Angels are liking it though, claiming it to be satire.

Not every one of the Angels liked it though and they were quickly labelled as not being fun at parties because sometimes "it ain't even gotta be deep I guess"

I listened to the song and I thought it would have been okay if the autotune was not present which I guess is part of the satire. Still, the autotune was so bad it made it hard to concentrate on what was being said. A second listen is out of the question. In fact, as I write this I am trying to forget what the song was about.

I'm kind of debating between this and Sexxy Red's 'U My Everything' which caused worse ear damage.

But Why Did Drake Put Out Such a Song?

Why would he ruin 'Hey There Delilah' like that? 😭

Is he just trolling Kendrick? Kendrick called out Drake in numerous instances for not being himself; a Canadian with a middle class background who's not about the "tough" life he seems to glamorise. Kendrick even went as far as imitating the Toronto accent to put his point across!

If Drake is trolling Kendrick, I don't understand why he had to do it this way. Why! Rapping over the BBL Drizzy beat would have been okay, but on that Sexxy Red's song? And this Delilah song with that God awful autotune? "every antic is feelin' distasteful"

Dude think about your passerby fans. The one's who like your pop songs and don't mind that you cosplay being gangster or the fake accents, the ones who play you in clubs because of the catchy tunes, the ones who give you those streaming numbers you like. They won't get that you're "cheesin', fam".

Mind you, I don't like Drake. Matter of fact, I hate that dude. Before, I didn't care for him, he wasn't on my radar like that, but then he dissed Meg and I had a valid reason to HATE (I didn't know about the grooming allegations then). ☹️

I tried to get into Drake's stuff when 'If You're Reading This it's Too Late' came out but his music wasn't for me.

The few songs I've enjoyed of his I can count on one hand and only one, 'Fucking Problems', ever made it to my playlists and that I can largely attribute to how nice a group effort it was, Drake is really good with the melodies.

Yeah, I don't like him BUT crodie get up!!

But, like in a way that makes sense.

As many of Aubrey's Angels have pointed out, Drake is in a damned if he do, damned if he don't situation. What I personally refer to as "if it's not the consequences of my actions".

If he had taken a break, he would have been trolled for being silent.

BUT if Drake had come out with a banger... what then? If he came out with a banger that broke #1 he would have still been trolling Kendrick. In fact, he should have made one that ensured everyone dances and waves their hands for a decade to come.

Let's wait and find out, he's going to be in Camila Cabello's Album so maybe that will be his big come back? Though I've seen him being trolled for this collab, as it is playing into the allegations of him being a culture vulture because he chose to work with Camila who did some racist stuff in the past, right here on Tumblr, and I just love how the internet never lets her forget.

Did Drake Really Lose?

Drake lost on the internet. Though both he and Kendrick have been accused of serious stuff, (domestic violence and grooming), the internet is very keen on hating Drake. Do I secretly love it? No, I'm very publicly in love with it, let's never let the Drake hate go.

Reason why I said on the internet is because people at work still play Drake in the cafeteria and no one got it when I played 'Not Like Us'. If I have to hear 'God's Plan' one more time...

Drake kind of lost the streaming war. Drake in general is one of the most streamed people ever, he always tops the charts and when Spotify wrapped comes out I am always disappointed to see he is a lot of people's number one.

But before 'Euphoria' and shortly after 'Like That', I remember listening to 'Good Kid Maad City' and Kendrick was at 62M monthly listeners, now he's at 78M, he's broken a bunch of records that were previously held by Drake with his diss songs and his albums are charting again.

Drake, on the other hand, his new songs are being trolled, even his pre-beef songs are not doing very well with daily streams, he hasn't lost listeners though but he's not gained many new ones.

Everyone and their grandma seemed to listen to 'Not Like Us'. It was being played in Brown weddings, a bar mitzvah and an Anime Convention with the crowd actually singing along. One month later it is still going strong. Mind you Aubrey's Angels were saying Kendrick's songs are not bops, but not many are bopping to 'Family Matters'.

Why Did Kendrick Win the Rap Beef?

Kendrick won! This is not just a biased opinion of someone who has loved his music since I saw his performance of 'The Blacker The Berry' during the 2016 Grammys, but also as a Drake hater. 😊

What I expected from this battle is for Drake to win, not because he's the better lyricist but because I thought it would be a popularity contest and Drake is more popular.

So Kendrick won because he is the better rap artist, he read that man to filth, he had a better strategy, he had a better understanding of his opponent, and he crafted such a good narrative on 'Euphoria' that predicted where this beef would go:

Kendrick dropping 'Meet the Grahams' less than an hour after Drake pushed the red button with 'Family Matters' and Drake not understanding 'Mother I Sober' in 'The Heart Part 6'. Here is where Drake lost me.

Okay he lost me with the you're short and have small feet in 'Push Ups'. "Drop, drop, drop, drop" was catchy though, I admit. Drop, drop, drop, drop that album Kendrick!

Kendrick did his homework, quoting "remember" and "it's too many options" but Drake didn't. Kendrick basically spilled all his trauma in 'Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers' and gave Drake free ammo that he didn't use.

Clearly this is why Drake is not on that conscious shit, he doesn't have the literacy for it.

Drake made fun of Kendrick's fiancé for being lightskin in 'Family Matters' instead of calling him out for cheating with a white woman. Then Drake said Kendrick's son is lightskin when clearly he is not.

The lies! Let's not even start.

He could have gone harder on Kendrick for working with Kodak Black, who has an ugly history and really hates (Black) women, and Dr. Dre who has a history of domestic violence then tied it together with his own accusations that "they hired a crisis management team to clean up the fact that you beat on your queen". Someone teach Drake how to craft narratives.

Lastly, he should have focused on Kendrick alone, no one cares about your beef with Rick Ross crodie!

But Why Did Drake Lose the People?

Drake being a culture vulture, his grooming allegations and having Baka around have never been reason enough to incite deep criticism from the people before because we've seen how society loves to look away from such allegations, Kendrick's alleged domestic violence is being dismissed, such allegations are not even taken seriously in instances like for Chris Brown where there is undeniable proof.

So in Drake's instance, people are actually choosing to believe these allegations now.

And that's what I am curious about why now?

[imaginespazzi]

Honestly everyone should probably mind their business a bit more! Agree about the UConn students seems crazy they're on sites like tumblr spilling tea. Wouldn't you want to protect them from all us nosy snoops?? Have some school spirit, damn.

Everyone complains they don't share anything and all of this is why. Put yourselves in their shoes, they can't do anything without someone popping up out of the woodwork reporting on it, stalking younger siblings and family member accounts, jumping into mentions of random people who share something because they're excited to have met them, etc. And let's not pretend Tumblr is some safe haven anymore, I see lots of stuff pulled directly from here on TT and other sites.

Let them do their thing for their last years in college and have fun. We can all see the stuff they want us to see, they deserve that after everything they've been through the last few years, and especially recent. Not shading you at all, just feels like things can get out of hand at times, so I'm glad you've been one of the people who've said everyone should relax a little bit.

Have some school spirit is killing me 😭

But yeah no notes, all of this! Like I love the crumbs we get but it's definitely a little much to me to go interrogating people who meet or see them. It's unfair to those people too who were probably just excited to share meeting people they admire. And of course, please, please, please keep children out of this.

And yeah unfortunately tumblr isn't quite so safe anymore, which is part of why I don't use tags so my delulu's a little harder to find unless you follow me.

I've said this a couple of times, but everybody just have fun and vibe and enjoy what we get. There's no need to go that extra little bit to make things weird or stress yourself out about something that really don't affect your life. We pretty much never lose anyways so keep it cute, keep it fun and keep it cordial<3

[featherlumina]

8, 12 and 17 for the ask game 😁

Thank you so much @duttfisch! Apologies for the Genesis spam below, haha. XD

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

GENESIS BEING INCLUDED IN THE NIBELHEIM INCIDENT. People treat this like some unholy retcon, the greatest narrative sin Square Enix could've committed via the Compilation. And I for one think that's a complete over-reaction.

Seriously. Sure, Sephiroth's definitely not in a good mental headspace by now, but having Genesis water the freshly planted seeds in Seph's mind in the reactor only serves to drive him further down in a really believable way. I always found it a little odd how quickly Seph seemed to spiral in the OG (admittedly Rebirth handled it better), so I think the addition of Genesis makes the scene more fleshed out and raises even more questions for Sephiroth to investigate in the manor.

And a fun one for good measure that's been disproven by Nomura himself - the fact that everyone is like 'hurr durr Genesis can't come back cause Gackt says no / Square won't pay for his likeness'. Admittedly less people are using this as a 'ew no Genesis is icky he can't come back' now, but it was SUPER annoying for like a decade up till this point.

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

Feel like I should be putting my clown makeup on at this point because yep, my answer's Genesis! Again! XD Between the rest of the awesome peeps / moots on Tumblr who've argued for why Gen actually is or has the potential to be really interesting, I think it's fairly obvious why, but I'll summarise my view.

Basically, Genesis suffered from poor writing. Between that and the intense LOVELESS quoting making up the majority of his dialogue, I can see why it frustrated people. But if you look beyond that you'll discover some really neat stuff:

Having Genesis (and by extension, Angeal) as prototypes to Sephiroth actually makes boatloads of sense scientifically. You can't expect ShinRa to pop out Sephiroth on the first try, can you?

Genesis can basically go toe-to-toe with Sephiroth for an extended period of time, which is just... insane, when you think about it. Cloud and Zack have both reached similar heights but Sephiroth is just on a whole other level, so the fact there are a select few who can last against him is just really neat.

Bro had his world shattered and understandably lashed out at the company that shaped and controlled his entire existence. We're on Zack's side for Crisis Core, but it's pretty clear the real world-destroyers are ShinRa, and I think Crisis Core could've done a better job at helping us see Gen's perspective a bit more.

His aesthetic is just gorgeous, let's be honest here. That red coat is iconic and I want it. Superb character design (bless you Gackt for choosing red over black or white.)

Canonically he was well-liked and respected by the majority of SOLDIER, given that he convinced so many SOLDIERs to leave with him. People don't just follow you to the ends of the earth willy-nilly. Also, despite being an 'introvert' and averse to large people groups, he displayed kindness and gentleness with his younger comrades. Gillian called him 'such a good boy' for a reason, damn it!

...and I probably have more, but my hands are tired. XD

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art.

Honestly, I'm a sucker for hurt/injured/degrading Genesis and him both going through trauma and then being comforted and cared for by his loved ones. It's a major part of why I started Thing With Feathers after all. XD

I also love seeing how people explore Genesis' relationship with his changing body/his wing. I could read stuff about that for days.

Also would love to see more written redemption arcs for Genesis, whether it's through 'what-if' AUs or post DoC.

Lastly, I'm not hugely into overly sexual stuff, so any of the above fics without anything explicit is just *chef's kiss*. Of course I understand that many folks love the spicy stuff on its own or mixed into a plot, and that's okay! Just not my cup of tea is all.

[lunarubra]

This is me blabbing away and trying to make sense of this crazy moment that's my life... Kind of like a PSA, without a real structure.

(Let's start with an apology, this was supposed to be short, just a couple of lines long, asking for some forgiveness for being so absent, and it turned into a small vent about my crazy life. Synthesis has never been one of my strongest features, apparently.)

Life has been crazy lately. April, May, and June are always hectic months for a teacher, and this year looks like it's going to be even worse. Right now, I'm juggling a full teaching post, a university research, a social life with a partner, a new kitten bringing me everyday dead lizards (she is a serial killer in disguise), and being selected as an internal commissioner for the high school diploma this year. And no, the last one is not an honor; it's more like a punishment for younger professors who don't have the authority to say no to older colleagues, plus a ton of paperwork and two more months of work while everyone else is on holiday. Yuppie for me. But joking aside, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm happy to teach, and compared to a lot of other jobs out there, I feel privileged to do what I'm doing. I love my kiddos, and even though most of the time they behave like dunderheads, teaching supports my creativity and gives me so many insights into my life.

But let's get to the point of all this. I am feeling slightly guilty for not being as active here as I should be and for not having enough mental energy and time to dedicate myself to writing more. To my lovely mutuals, I'm in awe of all that you're posting right now. I apologize for not replying and commenting on your amazing content as much as I would like. I just wanted to say, it's not because I'm disappearing; I'm just really busy, and I can't wait for the moment when I'll feel more chilled and can treat myself to all your new chapters, moodboards, and all the amazing content you're creating. I know I am being a small silent weight in your tag list, so thank you for still including me <3

About "Shadow of the Sea," I have a chapter ready and one WIP of the following one. I want to post the one that's ready sometime in the next week, but after that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next one. So Jiyan and Cillian are taking a small break. I'm going to continue the story; this is not a goodbye. I have many ideas and plans for those two idiots; I'm just waiting for some writing energy and time in my schedule.

And yeah, I understand if you're thinking, "Are you aware that your blog and story are read by less than 10 people and no one really gives a damn?" Yes, I am aware, and this post is mostly for me, writing it down it helps me a lot, giving some sort of clarity. However, I've had the chance to meet amazing creators since I got busy on Tumblr again a couple of months ago. People who supported me and helped me, so this is more me trying to explain why my support isn't at its 100% right now and trying to excuse myself since I feel like a horrible mutual right now.

Ah, one last thing, maybe the only thing that will pop up on my blog are some "Slow Horses" GIFs. Thanks to Alex, @cillmequick, Jackson Lamb, and River Cartwright have become my new obsession, and creating GIFs is one of the few things that calm me after a busy hectic day and make me use some of that creative energy left.

I think that's it. Please still free to write me and contact me about my fic, blog, shenanigans; I will try to reply as soon as possible. Sending you all a big hug if you arrive till the end of this long long lengthy text xD

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 17:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: This chapter contains smut! It's er, finger lickin' good. Just, not fingers.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Implied era-appropriate religious abuse. Blowjob!

Okay, now that I think about it retrospectively, they're horny teens, it should have been obvious that smut was going to happen after the angst, but I definitely didn't plan this lol. Oh well, who's gonna complain about more smut anyway xP

And of course, 10,400 words. Damn, that's a really round number. Well, I guess it's fine since I managed to write this chapter pretty fast. I'm better with this in-head type of writing, I suck at descriptive writing so it always takes me forever and a ton of energy.

When I was a kid in school the standard advice given by teachers to the class was always to write descriptive English composition essays and NEVER touch argumentative.

And I was always the one kid who got the opposite advice; please choose argumentative, your description of the world around you sucks balls, surely you have more to say about the trip to the market than “the light was searing my retinas and the long walk made my legs ache but I bought the items successfully”. How was the air feeling? Don't remember. What were you smelling? A lot of things. Who did you see? Human beings I guess?

Though in fairness, now that I know I'm autistic, it's probably because I was constantly experiencing sensory overload and couldn't register my environment without being hit with pain, or the extreme tunnel vision and goal oriented brain xP

Edit: And for my Tumblr-only readers, I deeply apologise, but we have finally caught up to where I am currently writing! So, you'll have to wait for the next chapters like the rest of my readers on AO3, but in the meantime, I'll also be uploading my old artwork and one of my older fics to a separate blog here on Tumblr as well. So, there'll still be some content appearing, just not really HL. Though I do have two other HL short fics in the works that will probably start going up sometime soon on both AO3 and Tumblr.

Anyway, for this fic series, my Tumblr upload time is every second Sat 3pm PST, which is this coming weekend.

The chapters do go up three hours earlier on AO3, at noon PST, just because mistakes and better ways to phrase sentences always pop up after I hit the upload button and it's far easier to edit chapters on AO3 on mobile. Tumblr lags because my chapters are too long lol

Now, although I try my best to keep to that schedule, I often have to skip an upload and I will usually announce that ahead of time on the chapter that I'm uploading. As I likely will for chapter 19 because my next week is literally full, like 9 days filled to the brim. I am so fucked. So, that would mean 4 weeks between uploads if that happens.

Also the end notes for this chapter are really long... but the next chapter's is even longer. OTL

“Darlng.” Ominis murmured around his toothbrush, as the sound of brushing beside him slowed and gradually ground to a halt.

When he got no response, he reached across to prod the Keeper in the side with his wand and they jumped, telling him that they had indeed gotten distracted in the middle of brushing their teeth.

“Mm? O’ righ.” Came the muffled reply and the sound of their brushing resumed.

Honestly, not encouraging. The Keeper had been wearing the armlet since tea and they'd been markedly absent-minded since then.

Trailing off mid-sentence, drifting off while Ominis was talking and missing his words. Which was rather frustrating, truth be told, he'd gotten used to how attentive they always were with him, but at least they hadn't slipped up and accidentally taken some of the Pain energy.

According to them, at least.

“Hey, have either of you seen the newspaper? I wanted to finish the word search before bed.” Sebastian asked, poking his head into the bathroom.

Almost reflexively, Ominis felt the answer, that he hadn't seen it, surface in his mind. However, instead of saying it, he simply spat in the sink and began to rinse his mouth, because he was not speaking to Sebastian and hadn't since their fight in the afternoon.

Does anything even need to change? His boyfriend's words echoed in his head, and Ominis took a deep breath as he dried his hands and face.

How could Sebastian even say that? This whole Pain energy thing was supposed to be a means to an end, when they did what they needed to, the Keeper would stop taking such a dangerous thing. Going through withdrawal alone had been awful for them, surely that was enough indication of its dangers?

With all the experiments, and the ever-increasing amount of Pain energy the Keeper had to take to stay withdrawal, every day where nothing went wrong was a miracle. They just needed to keep winning the coin toss, survive taking it till Dìon castle had been brought to life and Anne was cured, and until then, they shouldn't rock the boat.

Was that not the plan? Why was Sebastian talking like the Keeper was going to be taking that poison even after they'd achieved those goals? When had he decided that the Keeper taking Pain energy forever was worth the risk? To what? Be powerful enough to kill dragons? How long did those two intend for all this to go on?

Ominis wasn't sure he could handle being under that stress for the rest of their lives together.

Even if Sebastian was right and the Keeper was immune to becoming a monster because of their Ancient Magic, as the only Ancient Mage, they could not possibly prove such a thing until they hit a problem. And that problem could easily be death.

Not to mention, if something unexpected happened and they needed to hide or lie low, and couldn't get more Pain energy, they'd be at risk of dying.

What would they do if that happened!? Ominis’ jaw tightened, no, he knew what they'd do, Sebastian would ask Ominis to cast the bloody Cruciatus curse on him, again, just to give the Keeper his Pain. Nausea churned in his stomach, sick and sour with guilt and shame.

The sound of his partners talking hummed in the background as Ominis followed them to bed, climbing onto the right side and lying down on his back tiredly, their words like senseless noise in his ears. How could they be so cavalier? As though neither were worried about the dangers and terrifying quantity of unknowns in this entire venture.

“Love...” Ominis felt a gentle touch against his face and the Keeper's voice, warm in his ear. “Thinking when tired doesn't get anyone anywhere. Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk more, alright?”

The endless optimism of his partners really was unbearable. Wordlessly, Ominis turned onto his side. He highly doubted that some sleep would magically fix this.

The Keeper sighed as they gazed at his curled up back, before taking a glance over at Sebastian on the other side of them as he laid down, refusing to so much as look in Ominis’ direction. They had no idea how to fix this.

They sort of agreed with Sebastian on the actual issue at hand, there hadn't been evidence so far that taking Pain energy was any worse on the body than coffee, which was also addictive but not harmful unless some idiot overdosed.

Though their confidence was more because the Keeper felt both that the short-term benefits were worth a potential cost and knew that they could weather any ailment in their lovers’ names, rather than the speculative optimism that Sebastian bore.

It was a problem that Sebastian had, being too optimistic, to the point of wishful thinking. What with how convinced he had been that the relic was the answer when there was no discernible link between Inferi and Anne's curse. It's not resolve if you delude yourself into believing that nothing would go wrong and thus never prepare for things to go wrong.

The similarity between him and the Keeper themselves, was that they simply preferred to suffer the consequences of trying their best, over letting fear halt their steps and to go to bed wishing that they had done more. To be resigned and consigned to whatever fate had in store for them, like Ominis often was.

However, they also understood that Ominis simply wasn't as resolved to accept the consequences of his or their actions. That he could not bear the thought of either of his partners coming to any harm, regardless of how worthy the cause, and that came too from a place of love. If a bit short sighted.

That Ominis was, as ever, mired in doubt. A fear that he didn't truly know his partners. A fear that burned Sebastian, the straightforward boy, hurt that someone he loved so deeply would doubt said love, after everything he'd done to prove it. For while Sebastian had few scruples, he carried a naivety that, ironically, the Keeper thought might have come from Ominis.

After all, what greater proof that a good person could use the Unforgivables, than Ominis himself? What greater evidence that exceptions existed, when an heir of Slytherin was the least purist person he knew? A blind boy, yet sensitive enough to see what few others could. If the Keeper had grown up beside a walking miracle, they might have believed in miracles too.

They knew that Sebastian would readily throw his very life away for Ominis and themselves. Though getting Ominis to see that as the selfless love it was in Sebastian's mind, rather than as the selfishness it instead was in Ominis’, was a feat that the Keeper had no clue how to accomplish.

Lying down with a tired sigh, they really hoped that this would be resolved soon, being sandwiched between the two stubborn boys in the middle of a tiff really was the worst place to be. If it were anyone else, the Keeper would have hit them both on the head and left the boys to sort it out themselves a long time ago.

All this really wasn't helping them resist taking a whiff of Pain energy either. The warm fog had been following them around as they finished preparing the third cell in anticipation of their next subject, and they'd taken the opportunity to explain the collars and their theory about the two ways one could consume Pain energy to Ominis, while he did a routine check on Macnair and Selwyn.

Though it had taken a lot of effort to do so when they kept getting distracted, by the enticing warmth of the armlet, especially with how cold the boys were being. Closing their eyes, they let the exhaustion of the day, of resisting their addiction, carry them into sleep. Hopefully they wouldn't accidentally take some while unconscious...

As the Keeper's breathing evened out beside him, Sebastian fought the urge to turn around and snuggle up to them, his eyes burning, ashamed that he couldn’t quite bring himself to apologise for losing his head earlier. He did understand that Ominis was just scared, but he was scared too goddammit.

Did being afraid give Ominis leave to hurt him this way every time he got scared? Did Ominis think it was fine to hurt Sebastian or the Keeper emotionally whenever he got anxious? The possibility was terrifying, and he didn't want to believe it could be true.

Yet, even when Sebastian had done everything he could think of to assuage Ominis’ fears, nothing had worked. If Ominis wasn't willing to meet them in the middle, couldn't even talk about things rationally, how were they supposed to get anywhere?

They didn't have ten years for Ominis to slowly overcome his fear of the Pain energy, the Keeper needed it now, to survive the trials and dangers that lay ahead. If they couldn't hide it from Ominis, and they couldn't tell him about it, what the fuck were they supposed to do!? This was a matter of life and death, why couldn't Ominis just-

Sebastian couldn't help but remember that day in the Scriptorium, when Ominis had literally refused to take an action that would save their lives. It'd been almost THREE YEARS since then, and Ominis still hadn't made a single step of headway in this area. It almost felt like Ominis didn't see anything wrong with this to begin with.

Sebastian was trying to be understanding, but he just couldn't get how Ominis could be so paralysed by fear, that he would choose death.

Just let us protect you! Sebastian wanted to grab Ominis by the shoulders and scream. We all want the same thing, to protect our shared happiness, why are we fighting like this? Why was Ominis treating him like he didn't care about his lovers? Sebastian wouldn't be trying if he didn't care. Hell, it'd be easier if he didn't care!

After all this time, it hurt that Ominis still didn't trust him.

Sniffing and scrubbing at the moisture in his eyes with his hands, Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove the feelings aside with his Occlumency meditation.

The Occlumency that Ominis had taught him.

Ugh, fuck it. Sebastian gave in and turned around to cling to the Keeper, pressing his face into their shoulder and taking a deep breath of their comforting scent.

Almost immediately, he felt the stress ease and his body relax. The Keeper was right here, warm and safe, and on the other side, bathed in the moon's cool glow, was Ominis, and even if he was still upset, it was assuring to know that he was here and safe too. Yeah, definitely worth it, a relieved smile formed on Sebastian's face and his tears finally ceased.

He always woke up wrapped around one of his partners anyway, he could just pretend it happened in his sleep.

On the other side of the Keeper, this whole time, Ominis’ eyes were wide open, and he lay there frozen with shock, was Sebastian crying?

He listened carefully, yeah, no doubt about it, but... why? For all his emotional tendencies, Sebastian had only ever cried during or after nightmares and that one time he had a breakdown in the Feldcroft cottage.

Was it what Ominis said? It was hard to believe that Sebastian would care enough about his words to cry, when he didn't care enough about Ominis’ feelings to stop his reckless behaviour.

Ominis had spoken truthfully, but pointing out how selfish and reckless Sebastian and the Keeper were being... perhaps he should have done that more carefully. Did Sebastian not even realise what he was doing?

The continued sniffles ate away at Ominis, he'd done that, he'd made Sebastian cry... and the guilt only worsened when he realised that it didn't just feel awful, it also felt good. To hear the effect he had on Sebastian, to feel the power he had over the proud and stubborn boy's heart, to feel some sort of control.

Bile rose in the back of Ominis’ throat, no no no no- he shook the thought away, recoiling from it in horror. That was the darkness speaking, the evil his parents were steeped in, that they'd implanted in him. He couldn’t let the poison in his veins taint the people he loved. Controlling other people with force and hurting them, that was not acceptable.

No matter how selfish they were being, no matter how much he wanted that to change, no matter how stressed Ominis was, he knew that Sebastian and the Keeper were not evil. Neither of them, no matter how frustrated he was with them, deserved to be hurt, the way Ominis had been by his family.

Nobody deserved that, period. Least of all the two people he loved so dearly that he was beset with such fear to begin with.

What am I doing? Ominis asked himself ruefully. I'm not even succeeding in stopping them, I'm just hurting them. But if I don't try to stop them, I might as well sign their death warrants. But what else could I possibly do? Leave? Threaten to break up?

That would probably hurt everybody involved, himself being the only one he would be sure to devastate, but if it got them to stop, at least it wouldn't be only hurt dealt with no progress made. Ominis bit back his own sob as he felt the bed bounce ever so slightly, listening to the now familiar sound of Sebastian turning on the bed, before his sobs and sniffles turned into snores.

I can't, Ominis wailed in his heart, mourning his own cowardice and selfishness, I can't give this up. The very thought of not having the Keeper or Sebastian as his, was nauseating. It was the catacombs all over again, how could he stand by and let this happen again?

A good friend, a good lover, would love Sebastian and the Keeper enough to sacrifice his bond with them, if it would save their lives. What a horrible person he was, Ominis lamented, then and now, he was still too selfish to do the right thing, to be a good person. He'd told the Keeper in the tomb that he might be willing to sacrifice his friendship with Sebastian, but he hadn't been.

What right had he, to be enraged at their selfishness, when Ominis himself was so hopelessly self-serving too?

We're all sinners here. It was so difficult to fight the temptation to throw all conscience to the wind. To give in to the urge to just force the Keeper and Sebastian to do what he wanted, whatever that entailed, and Ominis was tired, so tired of resisting his vile instincts.

He wanted to wake the Keeper, beg them to do it again, help him stop thinking, stop feeling, manipulate his mind into silence once more, but a part of him knew that this was too much for them to suppress. Their words had worked when they first started dating, when he had been more concerned about what they were doing with Pain energy, than what it was doing to them.

When he'd still seen them as impossibly invincible, an unbelievable creature that had powers beyond imagination, had power over both him and Sebastian. When he hadn't yet come close to losing them or seen how human and vulnerable they really were. How they too, could be wrong.

Loving them, accepting them, flaws, failures and all, had cost him the ability to uncritically leave everything up to them, to surrender reality into their hands. The irony that the more he loved them, the more terrifying the thought of losing them and the harder to trust them when they tried to soothe that fear with assurances that they couldn't guarantee. Promises they couldn't keep.

He wanted- no, needed them, the Keeper and Sebastian. Wanted to hold them both close, protected, safe.

Compelled by his need and unable to resist, Ominis turned as well and wrapped himself around the Keeper, stretching his hand across their chest to find Sebastian's and entwine their fingers together. His heart aching in his chest when he felt traces of wetness on his boyfriend's fingertips.

I'm sorry, Seb... I just don't know what to do... Ominis thought mournfully to himself as he closed his eyes.

“I've decided to open the Repository. Its power cannot lie dormant for centuries more.”

Thank you, Fig... I wouldn’t have this without you.

“After everything you've seen? What about Isidora's fate?”

Isidora's fate? A fool chasing a hopeless dream, she and I are not the same.

“Isidora wasted her ability trying to save people from themselves. I will not let others dictate what I do with this- my power.”

I have been robbed of so much. A family, a home, my dignity, my agency, Lodgok, the first friend who understood what it was like to be crushed under heel.

I will not surrender anything to anyone else ever again. Please, understand.

“You cannot possibly mean that. You, of all wizardkind, are wholly aware of the misery and pain that that could cause!”

Fig... I'm sorry, but I can't give this up. Can't you feel it? That power, I need it, I need power. I’ve finally found something worth protecting. Worth my life. Worth every life. I can't lose them. I won't let anyone take what is mine ever again.

Not even you.

“I answer to no one. Avada-"

The Keeper gasped, their eyes flying open, heart pounding a mile a minute, feeling somehow restrained, and for a moment, they tensed in fear. Before noticing the faint snores by their ear and they remembered that they were in Dìon, sleeping in their new bedroom with Sebastian and Ominis... who had been fighting.

They cast their gaze over themselves and smiled, and yet, both boys were not only cuddled up to them, but also holding hands loosely across their chest. The soft rays of dawn lay gentle on the two, their faces peaceful and the Keeper was rather relieved to see that their partners, at least, were getting a restful sleep.

They released a slow breath, it'd been a long time since they'd dreamt of Fig, let alone a nightmare of killing him. The Keeper honestly wasn't sure why they'd had such a dream, was it what Ominis had implied the evening before? That Sebastian, and by extension themselves, were monstrous for wanting to continue using that energy. An energy created by human pain.

But would they have? If Fig had survived, if he'd decided that he needed to stop them, would the Keeper have fought him? Killed him?

They'd like to think they wouldn't have, that they would have found another way, but they weren't sure that was true. Perhaps the reason they weren't as offended by Ominis’ framing, unlike Sebastian, was because they felt it was warranted. They were no saint, they'd stolen, killed, sinned, anything to survive, to win.

Demonspawn. Sinful whore. Devil.

God, if he existed, had only hellfire for the Keeper's kind, and they'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Spat their defiance on Matron's precious cross, they hadn't been able to walk for a week after that, but they'd do it again. Forgiveness? How was it their fault that they had to suck dick to stay alive? Grace? Her God could keep his fucking grace, neither she nor He had protected them a whit.

Finding out that they weren't even human, that they were what those pathetic powerless muggles called heathen pagans, one of the witches and wizards they'd burnt at the stake, none of it had been a surprise. Of course they weren't a mere muggle, of course they hadn't fit in. They were never one of them to begin with.

Coming from a place that called all their kind demonic, made Ominis’ desperate wish to be accepted by society rather pointless in the Keeper's eyes. If in a separate group of humans, their very existence was evil, then what meaning did the term ‘evil’ even have? It was arbitrary and meaningless, a popularity contest that they refused to take part in.

They gazed at Ominis’ beautiful countenance, his cheek pressed sweetly against their arm, all curled up like a cat. Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to force him to face this, it was something he would have to come to terms with on his own, they could only protect him till then.

With a tired sigh, the Keeper considered closing their eyes and going back to sleep, when they realised that something was missing.

Frowning, they cursed under their breath, the armlet peeking out from between Ominis’ arms... wasn't glowing. Fuuuuuuck.

Ominis was going to be pissed. The Keeper sighed, well, that explained the dream at least, and the reason they felt a bit warmer than usual. Trying to get a good look at the armlet, they attempted to slip their arm out of Ominis’ grasp, but unfortunately, he didn't seem very happy about that.

“Mnm, warm...” Ominis grumbled, gripping their arm tighter and rubbing his cheek against their shoulder.

The Keeper smiled softly, cute. Well, at least until he frowned and mumbled. “Why are you so warm?”

Aaand so it begins, the Keeper sighed again, not a moment more peace to enjoy. “Well, love, it seems... that, while I was unconscious, I unintentionally took today's dose-”

Ominis shot upright immediately, though he seemed to have forgotten, or not noticed, that his hand was still attached to Sebastian's and the brunet was promptly awoken, as he was yanked halfway across the Keeper by his arm.

“Wha de-” Sebastian mumbled, blinking blankly at thin air with an adorably confused expression as his hand was dropped.

Patting the messy bush of hair on his head, the Keeper gave him a soft smile too and a kiss on the forehead. “Morning, Seb.”

He blinked at them with doe-eyes for several moments, his brain visibly struggling to catch up, before he yawned and dropped his head onto their chest with a barely audible. “...mor...in...”

Ugh, why is he so cute- the Keeper couldn't resist slipping a finger under his chin to lift it and leaned down to capture his chapped lips in a proper kiss, which he returned with a dazed moan.

“Can the two of you be serious for once?” Ominis sighed irritably as he raised his wand. “I can't cast diagnosa if you're in close contact.”

“Gimmieasec-” The Keeper gave him a mumble, pressing their lips to Sebastian's one last time before withdrawing, leaving him looking as confused as he did when he first woke up, and they nudged him upright with a bemused smile. “There, just sit still and look pretty.”

“Pfft... eashy.” Sebastian gave them a dopey grin, before yawning and stretching. “Whaz goin’ on anyway...”

“Ominis is upset that I accidentally took some Pain energy while asleep.” The Keeper answered, lying back down as Ominis cast Diagnosa on them.

“Oh.” Sebastian blinked, freezing in the middle of scratching his head. “Well, that blows.”

“I'm not upset.” Ominis snapped, and both Sebastian and the Keeper stared at him sceptically. “I'm worried.”

“Well, don't be, they kiss just fine.” Sebastian waved a hand at them with a grin. “Feel free to try for yourself.”

“Sebastian.” Ominis bit out through gritted teeth.

Not wanting to test his patience, the Keeper quickly sat up and slipped their fingers around his hand, clenched tightly around his wand. “And I'm sure you found that I'm quite alright, yes?”

“Well-” Ominis paused, pursing his lips together. “That's- that's the problem, I can't tell!”

The Keeper blinked and frowned as he shook their hand off, standing from the bed and pacing across the carpet in a fit of agitation. “Healers don't just magically know what it looks like when something is going wrong! All I see are elevated adrenaline levels, increased blood flow, heart palpitations, heightened activity in parts of your brain-”

He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, voice strained and eyes almost crazed. “And I don't know what any of it means for you!”

The pain and fear in his voice seemed to have blown the sleepy fog from Sebastian's brain and he tumbled from the bed, stumbling towards Ominis, before hesitating as though uncertain if an embrace would be well received. Which was probably reasonable, especially after Ominis rejected the Keeper's comfort.

“I'm sure we'll figure it out.” Sebastian tried, approaching Ominis like he was a wild animal. “That stuff is so powerful, if it were doing something bad, it'd be obvious even to us, and- and to them, who's experiencing it, right?”

“Merlin's balls, Sebastian.” Ominis groaned, so hard that it came out more like a sob. “They've already told us that it feels good to take! We can't trust their experience of it, do you think cancer patients realise they're dying till they're halfway there!? Do alcoholics know they're destroying their liver? And by the time it's obvious, it'll probably be irreversible!”

“Well, I've been taking it for two years already, surely that's long enough to be certain of its effects.” The Keeper reasoned, joining Sebastian in trying to soothe Ominis, who looked worryingly close to a breakdown. While he seemed to be more coherent after a good night's sleep, he was clearly no less distressed than the night before.

“We don't know how it works!” Ominis exclaimed. “Any negative effects could be something that culminates with consumption, compounding and building over prolonged use! Even if you're fine now, this constant energy use could have long-term effects!”

And there he goes again with the most extreme what-ifs, the Keeper gave him a helpless smile. “Well, that's not right now, and so that's something I'm willing to risk. To protect and preserve us , and to cure Anne. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“How can you say that!?” Ominis shook his head.

“Because I'll do whatever it takes to protect our happiness.” The Keeper answered honestly.

At their words, Ominis bristled, his fear and stress turning to anger. How did they not understand what they were doing? Saying that they were hurting him for him. How cruel, was he supposed to feel grateful for this fear and pain?

“That's bullshite! My happiness necessitates both of you! You can only say that because you're not the one who'd be left behind!” Ominis burst out, fists tight and hot tears forming in his eyes against his will. Like aunt Noctua, it was so bloody worth it to die down in the Scriptorium, chasing the betterment of our family, at the risk of leaving me all alone in that house.

“The two of you can throw your lives away because you don't have to be the one left here alone!” Selfish, they were both so selfish, Ominis thought bitterly. Sebastian had been fine risking his life to save Anne, if he died, at least he wouldn't have to live through Anne's death, but he would leave me to mourn both of them.

“That's not-” Sebastian's voice cracked, and he took a shaky breath. “That's not the reason! We do what we have to because we don't want to leave you alone! How can you think that we- that I'd care so little about them, about you!?”

Ah, I'm doing it again. The sound of Sebastian crying, a few hours ago, echoed in Ominis’ mind. I'm hurting him again. Why is this coming out so wrong every time?

“...I'm sorry...” Ominis whispered. “I just don't know if I can keep doing this.”

“This?” The Keeper echoed warily.

“This! Us! All of it! I'm so scared that something will go wrong! Maybe we should just-” Ominis covered his mouth with a sob, his throat closing up around his words.

“A- are you saying you want- want to break-” Sebastian asked faintly, sounding like he couldn’t comprehend how this was even on the table.

“I don't know!” Ominis shouted, brushing tears from his eyes. “I can't help, but I can't not help. I don't want to know what you're doing, but I want to know so I can stop you, but I can't even do that! If I do nothing, I'm complicit in your demise, if I do something, I'm responsible if I fail. There's no winning anywhere in this!”

“I'm powerless.” Ominis murmured, a hysterical laugh bubbling up from within his chest. “Powerless then, powerless now. Nothing I do changes anything, I just want that feeling to stop. It would be better if I'd never been bor-”

His words were knocked right out of his mind, and his ears rang with the sharp bite of a slap. The impact reverberated through his skull, so all-encompassing and shocking that he barely felt the sting spreading across his cheek.

Then there were hands gripping his shoulders tightly and the Keeper's voice, more broken than he'd ever heard before, hissed in his ear in a harsh whisper. “Never go there. Nobody takes something that belongs to me, not even you. Without you, I'd easily make Gnarlak and Ranrok look like saints.”

The Keeper's words were heavy with dark promise and Ominis’ breathing was shallow, mind still rattled and uncomprehending as they cupped his burning cheek, the gentleness of their touch contrasting the force with which they'd slapped him.

“And you're wrong.” The Keeper continued, and he felt a strange sense of relief, of surrender at their words, he wanted to be wrong, yes, please- “You are not powerless in this relationship, you just can't see the power you have over us, because you can't compare it to how we would be without you here.”

There was a smile in their voice as the Keeper pressed their forehead against his. “I've told you before, we need someone sane in this relationship. Do you really think I could have overcome my addiction without your control and guidance? You know how greedy I am when there's something I want.”

A pair of warm arms embraced him from behind, wrapping firmly around Ominis’ waist, shaky breaths in his ear and wetness on his nape, Sebastian's chest firm against his back. “And I wouldn’t have been able to stay sane when Anne got cursed, if you weren't reminding me to eat and forcing me to sleep. If you weren't curled up next to me while I read forbidden tomes in the Undercroft. I'd have lost my mind.”

Their words sank slowly into his mind, as his breathing calmed, and Ominis couldn't help but release a soft huff. “I thought you were doing homework.”

“Well, sometimes.” Sebastian gave him a trembling laugh and without thinking, Ominis followed it with his own.

“If I cared more about my own feelings, I wouldn’t have stayed with you while the Keeper was off with Poppy last year.” Sebastian murmured after a moment's thought. “I'm not good at it, but I do try to think about how my actions affect you.”

“Even though I hurt you?” Ominis whispered, reaching up to touch Sebastian's cheek where it rested on his shoulder, damp with drying tears. “Even though I can't slow either of you down without hurting you every time. Even though I can't just be a good boyfriend and remind you to be careful and wait patiently for you to come home?”

“How dare you call our boyfriend anything less than perfect.” The Keeper prodded him in the chest. “And I don't know what you've been smoking, but what you're describing isn't easy. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t be able to sit by and do nothing.”

“Sebastian did, he was worried too but he didn't try to stop you from taking more jobs, or try to... hurt you into stopping.” Ominis protested weakly.

“Excuse me.” Sebastian huffed. “Did you miss the second half of that? I didn't stop them, but I went with them, because doing nothing but waiting is agony. That's why I went with them to the pub, that's why I'm going with them on their next job. It's why I made the dagger for them and why I tried so hard to find a cure for Anne.”

“Doing nothing is torture for me.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to Ominis’ neck. “I'm sorry I didn't realise it was becoming torture for you too.”

“It... it didn't use to be.” Ominis admitted, a bitter chuckle emerging as he traced the shape of Sebastian's hands on his waist. “I used to feel better if I gave someone else responsibility. It doesn't work anymore. I don't know why, but I haven't been able to do that for a while, I can't escape this fear. I don't know how to handle it.”

“I'm sorry that we've made you feel alone in worrying, but you don't have to carry that alone.” The Keeper murmured, a sweet kiss of their lips against his. “We can help you find a way to manage it, together.”

Ominis felt his breath catch, tears welling in his eyes. “I- I don't, after every time I hurt you both in my fear, how can you forgive me? I don't deserv-”

“If you think anyone else could be in your position, could do any better in your position, you couldn't be more mistaken.” Sebastian interrupted. “It's enough that you know you've hurt us and don't want to, are trying not to, because we can help with that.”

“Sebastian...” Ominis turned in his arms, tracing his fingers across Sebastian's brow and cheeks to see his expression, chest tightening at the unmistakably gentle crinkle around his eyes.

“We shouldn't dwell on things we can't change, instead we can look to the future and consider ways to prevent bad things from happening again.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to his palm, and Ominis’ eyes widened at his words, the same words he'd spoken to Sebastian himself a little over a year ago, after his breakdown in Feldcroft.

“I've hurt you so many times over the years too, and you've always forgiven me and stayed by my side... and I loved you for that.” Sebastian's voice was a quiet whisper now. “Loved you since third-year.”

A small smile lifted Ominis’ lips. “And I've loved you since the end of our first-year.”

“That long?” Sebastian sounded surprised and Ominis nodded shyly.

“Well, I can't beat either of those.” The Keeper sighed, dropping their chin onto Ominis’ shoulder, now that it was free. “Between the two of you, I'm starting to feel left out.”

The familiar words got a laugh out of Sebastian, and Ominis could hear the wry smile in his voice. “A lot has changed since the first time I said that, hasn't it?”

“Really?” Ominis huffed dryly. “I feel like I'm still getting led around by you two.”

“I disagree.” The Keeper chuckled. “Have you forgotten how you kept me from killing the woman living just outside our territory?”

Ominis blinked, that's right, he'd felt it then, the hope that he had the ability to change the minds of Sebastian and the Keeper. To change their course of direction, that's why he'd tried to do it again, but it hadn't worked.

“Didn't manage to change your minds this time.” Ominis murmured bitterly, moving reluctantly when the Keeper tugged him towards the bed to sit down on its edge.

“Ominis, that's the problem, back then, we agreed on the goal and then discussed ways of getting there that satisfied all of us.” They pointed out. “This time, you jumped straight to changing our minds.”

“What else could I change, besides your minds?” Ominis asked, feeling a tad defensive at the implication that there was any option besides that. If he could think of one, he'd have suggested it by now.

“Well, we can discuss the facts of the situation and try to find something that we can change. You don't have to think of a solution alone.” Sebastian pointed out as he took a seat beside Ominis, while the Keeper remained standing.

“I want to keep taking the energy, but we have possible unknown negative effects to account for that would make it dangerous.” The Keeper hummed. “I feel like all we need to do is make the unknowns known.”

“But it's a fact that I can't know what a warning sign looks like, the point where I can tell that something is wrong would already be too late.” Ominis sighed, before pausing. Wait, too late? Would not then all he need do, be to see the effects accelerated, to see what ‘too late’ looked like?

But... that meant involving himself in the Keeper's human experiments. Worse still, finding his answers would require that they actively try to turn a subject into a monster or kill them by Pain energy overdose. Could he really do such an inhumane thing? Then again...

His mind returned to the scans he'd done on Macnair last evening. The boy's body was wasting away, frail and weak, his amygdala had completely ceased to function, and his endocrine system seemed to be damaged so severely that Ominis felt that he had no hope of recovery. Did Macnair even deserve it? He couldn’t imagine being in that condition, what suffering was the boy experiencing?

At the same time, Pain energy felt good to take, with his will empty, it would be safe to give him that energy without him trying to break out using its power, rather than injecting it painfully with the collar. Would that not be a mercy instead? To let the mindless boy experience one last taste of pleasure, ending his suffering with bliss.

“Macnair is not doing so well, what do you two plan to do with him?” Ominis asked tentatively.

Having been watching him deeply immersed in thought, the Keeper quickly caught on, quite surprised that Ominis would consider experimentation to overcome this obstacle. No, he wouldn't be able to do that, not consciously at least, they knew his mind well enough to know that. What was his angle?

Bringing up Macnair’s health... perhaps he was trying to frame his participation as charity, after all, the subjects were scum that were already in perpetual suffering, maybe he wanted to contextualise being a grim reaper as mercy. They did wonder how he would justify the pain of collar injection, but they could always help him out there.

Well, those were quite some mental gymnastics he was hoping to do, but hey, any effort from him to cooperate was welcome.

“He doesn't provide any energy thanks to his ripped aura, so I was considering attempting to stitch it up. Which would require pumping him with energy, like finding a leak in a cup by filling it.” The Keeper answered. “I don't have much other use for him, but I would keep him alive, just in case I have need of him.”

The Keeper smiled as they laid forth the bait for Ominis to take, and was satisfied when he frowned, saying. “I think it's quite cruel to keep him in a suspended state of suffering...”

The Keeper silently raised a finger to quieten Sebastian when his expression became indignant, mouthing a simple ‘wait’.

“...it would be kinder to end his suffering. I know you want to have more than one subject at a time, but you'll be acquiring a new one, yes?” Ominis asked, as though he were bargaining with the cruel cruel Keeper to entertain his benevolent petition on poor little Macnair’s behalf.

The Keeper gave him a fond smile, he was so cute, still clinging to those paper-thin illusions that only they could provide. “Yes, and I suppose since I'll be getting another shortly, Macnair’s death won't be too much of a loss, but I'd rather make use of him, even on his way out.”

They would give him what he needed.

Ominis smiled. “I was thinking that I could monitor his condition as you feed him energy, preferably C-Pain in the same manner you consume it. That way, I can compare its effects on a regular wizard to its effects on you as an Ancient Mage.”

As Ominis explained his suggestion, understanding began to dawn on Sebastian's face and his expression became slightly conflicted.

“Same manner, hm.” The Keeper frowned. “That runs the risk of making him too powerful for even myself to defeat. I would also need to find out what distinguishes a painful injection of Pain energy from regular consumption.”

“It has to be the same manner you do it. Otherwise, we can't be certain that our findings would apply to you.” Ominis insisted. “Without mind and willpower, surely he wouldn't be as much of a threat as Ranrok was, and you defeated him without the aid of Pain energy.”

He had a point, the Keeper folded their arms thoughtfully, though it was amusing to hear Ominis defending their strength when it was convenient for him, and Sebastian was staring incredulously at him for likely the same reason. Still, to what ends was he pushing so hard for this?

...it would be kinder.

He'd said ‘kinder’, not more merciful, perhaps that was it? Did Ominis think it would absolve him of being Macnair’s executioner if the boy got to die in power rather than in pain? That dying in pain was ‘cruel’? Well, the Keeper didn't see any particular difference, after everything they'd done to him, murder was murder regardless, but if it made Ominis feel better, boy did they not fucking care.

“Fair enough, I'll see if I can figure out what the difference between collar injection and consumption are, and if I can feed him C-Pain energy.” The Keeper nodded and both boys sagged in relief.

“Thank Merlin, we finally have a plan.” Sebastian groaned, flopping backwards on the bed. “I'm bloody exhausted.”

“I- well-” Ominis cleared his throat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear sheepishly. “I suppose, I'm sorry... for- well, making this more difficult than it maybe had to be.”

“Nah.” Sebastian shook his head, reaching out to take Ominis by the arm and tug him down, while the Keeper reclined on the bed beside them.

Catching himself on his arms, Ominis blinked in surprise, hovering over Sebastian as the brunet grinned and lifted his head just enough to give Ominis a peck on the lips.

“It's good that you got it all out. I mean, I could do without getting hurt.” Sebastian chuckled when Ominis gave him an annoyed look. “But it happened how it needed to happen, we can always do better next time. I could've handled it better too. I just- you drive me crazy.”

“Do I?” Ominis murmured with a small smile, folding his arms on Sebastian's chest and resting his head on them with a peaceful expression.

“Obviously.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and propped his head up on an arm, brushing his fingers through Ominis’ messy blond strands.

There was a soft, and undeniably loving crinkle around the corners of Sebastian's eyes, as he gazed at Ominis, idly caressing his cheek for several minutes, fingers brushing across the little uneven patches of peach fuzz that were growing.

As he did, Ominis basked in the gentle soothing touches, until they stopped, and Sebastian released something between a huff and a sigh. Tipping his head curiously to the side, Ominis asked. “Sebastian?”

“Nnnngg, how long are you just going to stare at us like that!?” Sebastian suddenly burst out, his cheeks quite red, and the Keeper gave him a low chuckle.

“I'm just enjoying the view, don't mind me.” The Keeper assured with a broad and amused grin, continuing to observe the sweet scene as they lay casually on their side, head propped up on an elbow.

“Right. Ominis is the one who's blind, not me. Merlin knows what's going on in there.” Sebastian eyed them suspiciously, and at their silent, unflinching grin, gave an aggravated huff. “Fine, might as well give you something to look at then.”

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbows and pressed his lips against Ominis’, who chuckled softly as Sebastian rolled them over, so he could pin Ominis to the sheets.

“Sebas-” Ominis’ exasperated sigh was quickly smothered by Sebastian, the brunet straddling his thighs, eagerly slipping his tongue between Ominis’ lips to swallow his words.

Coaxing a quiet groan from Ominis as he ran his fingers down the blond's neck, and the Keeper would readily admit that this was indeed a much better show, and one they would most certainly never tire of watching. The brief flashes of heated muscle entwined within the spaces between their lips, the way Sebastian shuddered when Ominis’ hands travelled down to his hips, gripping firmly as he ground their waists together.

Exquisite.

Cheeks aflame, Sebastian's mouth left Ominis’ to gasp as the blond's hardening length rubbed against his, releasing a low moan at the sensation and pressing his lips to Ominis’ throat as he rocked back eagerly. Only for Ominis to make a soft sound of discomfort and crane his face away.

“Merlin's bea- your beard, Sebastian, is getting too much for this!” Ominis complained, shoving Sebastian's head a distance away with a hand. “Are you trying to sandpaper my jawline into shape?”

“Please don't, I think it's perfectly shaped as it is.” The Keeper snickered.

“Oh, come on, Ominis, it's just a bit of fuzz.” Sebastian grumbled, his words muffled around the palm pressed against his cheek.

“You call this a bit of fuzz!?” Ominis exclaimed, running his nails along the bristles on Sebastian's jaw and producing an amusingly loud scratchy sound. “I've no doubt you look like a vagabond right now.”

“The kind of handsome, roguish vagabond that will steal your heart and make off with your virginity?” Sebastian grinned and the Keeper burst into laughter at the unamused glare Ominis levelled at him.

“The kind of vagabond that is homeless and in dire need of a razor.” Ominis retorted.

“Well, I've been busy the last two mornings, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to shave last night, now was I.” Sebastian grumbled, and Ominis’ eyes immediately darkened.

The Keeper quickly interjected, before the atmosphere could sour. “Why don't you go brush and shave then? That way, you'll be able to give Ominis a blowjob if he sees fit to grant you the honour.”

Sebastian immediately brightened and he grabbed Ominis by the shoulders. “Alright, I'll clean up and then I'm finally gonna get to see what they're always raving about.”

“Wha- wait- I didn't agre-” Ominis stammered, his face completely red as Sebastian nearly flew off the bed and into the adjoining bathroom, before turning towards the Keeper with an incredulous expression. “You rave about my- my-”

The Keeper gave him an unrepentant grin. “You do have a lovely pecker, darling. Rather outstanding really, few are quite as fortunate in that regard.”

“Salazar save me.” Ominis muttered, covering his face and climbing out of the bed to follow after Sebastian. “Sebastian, I never agreed to anything!”

“Wai ‘ot?” Sebastian mumbled around his toothbrush.

“It would give him some incentive to take care of himself. Pups need something to strive for when in training.” The Keeper chuckled as they slipped around Ominis and into the bathroom to get their own toothbrush.

“Exac'ly!” Sebastian spat in the sink before pausing. “Hang on train-”

“My dick is not a carrot!” Ominis exclaimed.

“Of course not, it's closer to a lollipop.” The Keeper grinned, very much amused by this line of discussion.

Idly collecting their toothbrush, they began cleaning their teeth at the porcelain sink that stood on the left of the entrance to the large alcove bathtub, while on the right of it, stood Sebastian at the second sink, slathering his face with cream.

Ominis groaned and ran a hand over his face.

“Look, it's annoying!” Sebastian exclaimed as he quickly slid the razor over his jaw. “I have to waste ten minutes every morning or I'll start looking like my uncle. Surely, I deserve a reward when I actually do it.”

“Well, you're not the only one that has to shave. See there, I need a shave too.” Ominis gestured at the patches of fuzz on his chin and upper lip.

“Those tiny things?” Rolling his eyes, Sebastian strode over and took Ominis’ chin, rubbing some of the leftover cream into his skin with a thumb. “Alright, hold still.”

Ominis obediently stilled, and allowed Sebastian to deftly whisk off the few bristles that were present, the brunet complaining the whole way. “Come on, these are so fine and easy to shave... and you can go a whole week without shaving before they show up! See? Done.”

Sebastian wiped the remaining cream off with a towel and beamed proudly at his handiwork, before returning to the mirror and his own shaving. “Why are you so reluctant anyway? Don't you always complain about me talking too much?”

Ominis’ cheeks flushed, the sheer thought of Sebastian's mouth around him making it difficult to think through the swarm of feelings that that idea conjured. “It's just- it's hard to imagine I suppose.”

Finishing up with their morning routine, the Keeper stepped aside for Ominis to use that sink. “Don't you feel bad for Sebastian? He even helps you shave, such a good boy deserves a reward.”

Ominis sighed as he washed his face, and the Keeper handed him his toothbrush. “Fine, I suppose if you nutters want it so much.”

“Yes!” Sebastian hissed with excitement as he washed the cream and hair from his face.

Several minutes later, a rather adorably embarrassed Ominis was seated on the edge of the bed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. While Sebastian knelt on a pillow, that the Keeper had passed him, between Ominis’ knees, lowering his sleeping pants to reveal his partially erect member.

Despite his earlier bravado, Sebastian seemed equally embarrassed as he ran his fingers lightly along the fine blond hairs that Ominis’ length was nestled in. Eyeing it with an almost resolute gaze for several moments, Sebastian leaned forward and gave his tip a firm lick, making Ominis jolt with surprise and release a soft moan, covering his face shyly a moment later.

The Keeper sighed, what was with this blushing maiden atmosphere? Somehow even after everything they'd done together, the two boys could still get all flustered like virgins. Was it because the Keeper wasn't involving themselves and just watching? Or because they weren't leading?

Now that they thought about it, every time the three of them had been together, it had been mostly propelled by the Keeper. Perhaps their partners had simply been emboldened by their unabashed attitude towards sex. With that in mind, it might be better for them to let the two boys explore at their own pace for once.

As the Keeper pondered this, Sebastian licked his lips nervously, quite encouraged by how quickly Ominis had hardened fully, before placing them tentatively against Ominis’ crown, and allowed it to slip past his lips.

At the warmth and sensation, Ominis released another shaky moan, Salazar save him, he really wasn't going to last very long. Just the idea that Sebastian, his proud Sebastian, was on his knees and taking his cock, was enough to make his head swim. His hands twitched, gripping tightly at the blanket he was sitting on, as he felt himself touch the back of Sebastian's throat.

He still remembered how good it'd felt, to thrust into the Keeper's throat, it had been almost scary, how quickly he'd lost control, but their confidence and skill had made it easy to get swept up in the heat, to forget his inhibitions. Sebastian wasn't nearly as confident or experienced as them and Ominis wasn't sure how far he could go. He didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

With a pinch of frustration, Sebastian lifted his head to take a breath, before trying again, pushing Ominis deeper into his mouth, but was once again unable to swallow enough to reach the base. He pressed on anyway, but quickly found himself gagging on it and had to lift his head again to cough. Goddammit, why was this so much more difficult than when he'd serviced the Keeper with his mouth?

“A- are you alright? Don't overdo it, Sebastian.” Ominis asked, trying desperately to hide how good it had felt when Sebastian's hot and wet throat closed around him uncontrollably, how much he wanted to shove the brunet's head back down to feel it again.

He'd never had the Keeper choke on him before, how could something so bad feel so good? The way Sebastian’s throat had rippled around him, pulsing and tightening, and Merlin- the sound. The sound of Sebastian choking, he could hear the wetness of his saliva clinging to his throat, feel it rolling down his cock to touch the sensitive skin of his balls.

“It's-” Sebastian cleared his throat, tears beading in his eyes. “It's fine, I'm alright.”

Without another word, he took Ominis into his mouth again, trying once more to take him further into his throat. The Keeper had done it, surely he could too. So, he struggled to hold his instinct to gag and pressed his head down harder, when Ominis’ hips bucked, and he promptly choked again.

“Sorry! I'm sorry!” Ominis immediately exclaimed, lifting Sebastian's head himself, and baulking at the tears he could feel against his thumbs.

However, as Ominis’ hands moved automatically to clean the fluids from Sebastian's face, he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering at the expression the brunet was wearing. Sebastian looked absolutely wrecked, eyebrows slanted upwards, his mouth hanging open, lips stretched wide from his cock. As guilty as he felt, Ominis knew he'd never forget the image his hands had shown him.

“‘S fine.” Sebastian mumbled, coughing and swallowing, a little dazed by how hot that had felt, his prim and pompous Ominis ramming his cock into his mouth like that.

Sebastian was starting to see why the Keeper liked blowing Ominis. Though, the choking he could probably do without, at least for now, while he still didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

With that, he turned slightly to ask the Keeper, who had been suspiciously silent the entire time. “How do you do it?”

“Do what, love?” The Keeper asked absently in return, a tad occupied committing everything they'd just witnessed to memory, especially Sebastian's fucked out expression. So, Ominis actually liked choking, good to know.

“Well, take Ominis... all the way.” Sebastian replied with an adorable squirm of the hips, likely rubbing himself against the tent in his sleeping pants.

The Keeper chuckled fondly, ever the overachiever of course. They paused to think, well, they did have the bed, it'd certainly be far more comfortable to start with, and it wasn't like Sebastian had to worry about how vulnerable the position was, unlike they had, and it'd give Ominis more control.

“You want to straighten out your throat. Here.” The Keeper stood and helped Sebastian to his feet. “It'll be easier if you lie down on your back, with your head hanging off the edge.”

Sebastian obediently followed their instructions as the Keeper also took Ominis’ hand and guided him to stand, wrapping their arms around his waist and pressing against his back as they whispered into his ear. “And you can stand here and fuck his throat.”

“Isn't this a little dangerous? He can't move away.” Ominis asked worriedly, though his expression and the way his length twitched made it obvious how much he liked the idea.

“It's alright, I can just tap your leg if I need to breathe.” Sebastian patted Ominis’ thigh, his half-lidded eyes heated as he regarded Ominis’ erection, hanging just inches from his lips, and his tongue darted out to lap at it.

Ominis gasped at the sensation and offered no further protest as the Keeper held his length in position and used their own hips to nudge Ominis’ forward, watching in delight as his hardness slid smoothly into Sebastian's throat.

“Oh-” Ominis moaned as he buried himself in, all the way to the base. The Keeper took his twitching hands, and placed them on the bulge in Sebastian's throat, before letting go as he began, of his own accord, to trace the shape of his own erection stretching Sebastian's skin.

“Doing alright down there?” The Keeper asked, and Sebastian flashed them a thumbs up, making an affirmative sound around the obstruction in his throat and getting another moan from Ominis as a result.

Chuckling, the Keeper murmured into Ominis’ ear, lapping teasingly at the shell. “There, you can let go, love. Stop thinking and do what feels good.”

With a keening sound in his throat, Ominis tentatively moved his hips, drawing back slightly, before pushing in again, shuddering as his sensitive tip rubbed against the back of Sebastian's tongue. The hollow squelch of his cock sealing the inside of Sebastian’s throat, creating a vacuum, a space where only he could pass through, the thought of pouring his seed inside Sebastian making his mind melt.

Ominis couldn’t help but rock harder into him, panting from the heat that was building in his body, the Keeper's warm chest against his back, their hands slipping under his shirt to rub and tug at his sensitive nipples. It feels so good-

He felt a few taps against his thigh, as Sebastian's throat closed around him again, and for a moment, it failed to register in Ominis’ mind, but as the Keeper tugged his hips backwards with a firm grip, he recalled its meaning. The air felt cold on his dick, after being inside Sebastian's warmth, but he was grateful that the Keeper had helped him stop.

“T- thank-” Ominis muttered as he turned his head to the side, and the Keeper captured his lips with their own, while Sebastian coughed and gasped for breath.

Releasing Ominis’ lips, the Keeper murmured gently. “Try to keep a consistent rhythm and pull out every four thrusts to let him breathe.”

Swallowing thickly, Ominis nodded, while Sebastian gave a weak laugh, and asked. “You were counting?”

“I was.” The Keeper chuckled, taking Ominis’ length and guiding him back into Sebastian's mouth, purring into Ominis ear. “Aren't you two lucky to have me.”

Moaning softly, Ominis nodded automatically, as they gripped his hips and guided him in at a languid pace, his fingers wrapping around their wrist and spasming as he fucked Sebastian's throat at their coaxing. It was a struggle to keep counting through the haze of pleasure and it helped to have their guidance, especially when it became more difficult to stop every time Sebastian choked.

Though, he was actually rather glad for the need to keep track of his thrusts, it was probably the only reason that he hadn't come yet. The feeling of Sebastian's hot and tight throat around him was amazing, the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything but lie there and take his cock, insane.

This was the same Sebastian who never stepped back from a fight, letting Ominis use his body for his pleasure, groaning around his cock, the taut skin of his throat stretching under his palm with every thrust.

“He's touching himself.” The Keeper's voice murmured into his ear and Ominis released a confused sound, having a hard time processing their words with his lust clouded mind, and they chuckled. “Sebastian, he's touching himself as you fuck his throat, he's so hard just from this.”

The moment he understood, Ominis released a loud moan, reaching his peak immediately, and his erection throbbed in Sebastian's mouth as his seed spurted down his throat. Unable to stop himself from burying his length as deep as he could go and holding himself there for a shuddering moment. Feeling ecstasy flood his body as Sebastian choked on his cum, before remembering that he was stopping Sebastian from breathing and quickly pulled out.

“Sor- sorry, I should- should have warned you-” Ominis gasped, leaning against the Keeper as his knees went weak.

“No, no. I take full responsibility for that.” The Keeper chuckled from behind him, flicking their wand and casting a quick Anapneo charm to clear Sebastian's throat quickly.

After panting for a few seconds, Sebastian gave them a small pout from where his head still hung upside down, his voice rough and thick. “Aw, I wanted to swallow that.”

Ominis released a sound that was somewhere between a squeak of surprise and a moan, while the Keeper laughed and reached down to pat Sebastian on the cheek. “There's always next time.”

He nuzzled at their hand with a hum. “How do you just keep going without needing to stop to breathe?”

“It's possible to breathe while giving a blowjob, it takes some... practice to get the right timing. But not everyone can, so don't feel bad if you don't manage it.” Straightening and placing a kiss on Ominis’ flushed cheek, the Keeper flashed Sebastian a wide smirk. “Now, my turn.”

Seeing it from his spot on the bed, Sebastian swallowed, and his erection twitched in his grip.

“How long will he have us play the villain so he can be the saint?”

“However long he needs it.”

“Does it not hurt?”

“A tad, but I take comfort in knowing that it's an illusion and that he needs it. Are you willing to deny him an illusion so vital to his mental wellness? We all know what it is, even him, somewhere deep down. And now that you understand that he believes it for his own sanity, not because he really sees us as despicable, does it not hurt less?”

“I suppose so...”

“Chin up, my love. I'm sure it won't be forever, he just needs time, and this will keep him with us and happy till that day comes.”

“...you're right, it just- it does still hurt, and it'll take time to get used to remembering that it's an illusion for him. That he doesn't actually think we're cruel. But you're right, it's worth it. He's worth it.”

“Good, I'm glad you agree. Now go get the bottle to feed Shai.”

“Ugh, Ominis is worth getting hurt for, but I'm not sure this one is...”

Notes:

Ominis: I'm a bad person? *cries* The Keeper: I'm a bad person? You're right bitch. Sebastian: I'm not bad, you're bad, fuck you.

I hope no one gets offended by the Christian abuse stuff, I mean, it's historically accurate and I think the Keeper's response is a rather common response to aggressive religious abuse. Particularly considering the circumstances.

In a way, the Keeper's mentality is a progressive/globalised perspective, in one country's culture, A might be “good” but in another culture it's “bad”, once we realise and understand that neither are right nor wrong, just different ways of living and doing things, we actually become more accepting and kinder towards ourselves and each other. Plus, if you call someone bad even when they try their best, why would they keep trying?

FYI, the amygdala is the part of the brain that processes emotion and the endocrine system is responsible for releasing hormones like dopamine, that manage our emotions as well.

Here's a thing about decision making. Our human brains are super defensive and (like with anxiety) tend to overcompensate to keep us from making mistakes, and often, its arguments are not even rooted in reality to begin with.

Studies have shown that when trying to decide if we should take an action or not, our brains simulate the worst case possible and we get hit with the pain of that worst case scenario immediately. Like, on the spot. Whereas when simulating the potential good result, we don't experience the joy/satisfaction/achievement from it.

And on top of that, the pain of failure is multiplied by 2 (or more) during simulation while positive results are halved in emotional value. This means that we're not making our decisions objectively, they're vibes based rather than looking at the reality of the situation.

To make things worse, when stressed or fatigued, our amygdala gets even more sensitive and we can become even more ridiculously pessimistic and afraid to take any action.

That's why when someone is going off on a panic attack, you need to calm them down first before trying to reason with them. (Preferably not with a slap.) People need to feel good in order to think rationally, which sucks when the decision that needs to be made is the thing causing stress xP

In this chapter, Ominis basically chooses whether he wants to be like his parents or not. Victims of abuse, especially children, tend to either become like their abusers or swing the opposite way.

His parents were very black/white simplistic in their logic, “if you don't obey us and be a muggle torturing evil person, it means you don't love/respect us”. So by default he's like that too, “if I ask you to stop because you're upsetting me and you don't, it means you don't care about me”. Rather than considering that there might be other options if discussed or that people could have reasons they can't stop that don't mean you matter less, but that those other reasons matter more.

He understands, deep down, that his parents hadn't manage to force him to become like them, all they ended up doing was hurt him. The problem is that Ominis genuinely doesn't know what to do if someone doesn't do what he wants, all his examples were either his parents’ “hurt them till they do it”, or Solomon and Anne's “cut ties”. He doesn't have good examples of the correct option “compromise and discussion”. So this chapter, was him understanding that there was always a third option there.

I wonder if anyone caught that the Keeper's last line in the dream “I answer to no one.” Mirrors Ranrok's line “Goblinkind shall answer to no one.” The classic fear of becoming the monster you beat xD

So, if a dick is too big, breathing through the nose in the brief flash of pull-out-for-next-thrust, won't be possible, but if anatomy allows for it, the dick wielder needs to is keep a stable rhythm and the blower can breathe in-between. Or just pause to let the blower breathe, yo. This work will not be responsible for death by dick.

Also, wow that blowjob scene was hard to keep gender neutral for the Keeper, but I'm pretty proud of it xD

Making it ambiguous if Sebastian found the Keeper easier to blow because they aren't as long/thick as Ominis or because licking pussy is easier than not choking on dick. Leaving it up to readers if the Keeper's “my turn” refers to them taking a go at Sebastian's throat themselves or if they're afab and take Sebastian's place to let Sebastian have a go at their throat or even sit on his face.

Whatever answer you chose, it's the right answer. That's what progressive means xD Just kidding, sort of xP

P.S. Isn't Sebastian shaving Ominis so cute?

Also the outward appearance versus internal sexual dynamic here is so funny; Ominis: looks like an angel - has the filthiest mind Sebastian: cheeky bastard - wears a romantic rosy filter over his eyes Keeper: stoic - non-stop maniacal "mine mine mine" chant

Many thanks once again, to my Patreon, cheeky_idler, for naming Shai as a Paid member with voting & suggestion power! ;)

[underforeversgrace]

broken trust and the wounds hidden behind

title: broken trust and the wounds hidden behind

words: 4,352

Chapter 4 of 7

Story summary: Jack wasn't meaning to snoop in his son's room when he found a box of medical supplies and a USB with a tag that said IF I DON'T COME HOME. Danny’s secrets revealed, Jack is desperate to earn his son’s trust, to earn the right to this secret he stumbled across. After almost two years of unknowingly hunting his son, is Danny's trust too broken to heal? NO ONE KNOWS AU

@astatia-ghast

AO3

Tumblr Chapter One

Tumblr Chapter Five

Conversation fell to easier topics and then to comfortable silence as they finished their meal.

“Dad?” Danny asked, halfway back up to his room.

“Yes, son?”

“I love you.”

Jack’s face hurt from the size of the smile that drew across his face. “I love you too, Danny.”

The rest of the night went by without much fanfare, each of them retreating to their beds.

Though Jack was apparently the only one to get a full night’s rest, according to the ghost alert going off three times for low level specters - Phantom pinging for a moment then disappearing again each time.

The next day, Jack went out and purchased a burner phone like Danny had suggested, loading in only his number. He kept an eye on his ghost alerts, waiting for Phantom’s signature to pop up, but he never stayed active long enough for Jack to join. He kept a check on the narcotics under his son’s bed as well, breathing a sigh of relief each time no more were taken.

Days passed like this, Jack never catching Phantom active long enough to bring the burner to him, Danny pretending to be the same son Jack had always known, Jack pretending not to notice every time Danny favored one of his sides.

“You alright here if I go out a while?” Jack asked after over a week of this.

“Uh, yeah, I should be fine. What’s up?”

“There’s been a lot of low level activity recently, just wanting to get out of the house and keep an eye on it.” And run into your ghostly half so I can give you this damn phone already.

“Oh, yeah, have at. Trigger the ghost shield if you’re worried.” Danny shrugged.

That was exactly what Jack did later that night when he left, wishing his son a good night as Danny shut his bedroom door.

He rode around in the GAV for over an hour before Phantom dinged onto his tracker. Jack watched it as it went towards the local park and settled, not moving again as he cut a very illegal, very wide U-turn and headed to the park. 

Jack parked the GAV (again, very illegally, very widely, and now quite rudely if it weren’t the dead of night) and hopped out, grabbing the portable tracker. Phantom was still here, no other ecto signatures pinging. Jack pushed forward even as the tracker led him into the forest, which just grew thicker and more treacherous the further in he went.

He turned the tracker off when it said he was close, realizing he needed to focus on where he was stepping as the wilderness tried to bring him to his knees (or, more likely, his rear end).

Despite his best efforts, though, his foot caught a root and he face planted, landing with a huff as the wind was knocked from him.

He heard a startled gasp as he landed and looked up, taking in where he was.

It was a large clearing, surrounded on all sides by thick trees, though it had a good view of the sky and the stars above it. Sitting a few trees away was Phantom, back against one of the larger trunks, looking at Jack as though Jack were a ghost who’d scared him.

Jack chuckled at the thought. 

“Jack?” Phantom asked, slowly sliding away from him.

“I’ve been looking for you, Phantom! You’re one elusive ghost, you know that?” Jack answered, unhooking his foot from the root and drawing himself to his feet, wincing when his ankle did not take that well.

“…looking for me?” He squeaked, no longer trying to be subtle as he backed up, scrambling up to his feet and darting to the opposite side of the clearing.

“Oh no, not like that, kiddo!” Jack tried to reassure, taking a step forward. His injured ankle liked that even less and he quickly sat down before his ankle had the chance to give out on its own.

“Are you alright?” Danny asked, coming back closer to Jack, though not without continuously watching Jack’s hands.

“Ah, think I sprained my ankle.” Jack said, waving it off. “It’s fine.”

“Uh, here,” Phantom said, coming fully towards Jack and kneeling beside him. He sent Jack a cautious look then gently touched his hurt ankle, thick ice radiating from his hands and soothing the budding ache.

“Neat trick there! Can’t say I’ve ever seen another ghost with ice powers!”

“Uh, I’m an, uh, ice core ghost? We’re kinda rare.” Danny admitted, reaching around and rubbing the back of his neck shyly with one hand.

“Ohhhh, what other kinds of cores are there?” Jack asked. Phantom flinched back slightly. “Only if you want to answer! Sorry, I’m a little overexcitable sometimes!” He added on quickly.

Phantom gave an amused snort. “I think that’s putting it mildly, Jack.” He said, studying the ice on Jack’s ankle. “Is that too cold?”

Jack rolled his ankle some, feeling the twinge of pain dulled by the comfortable ice. “No, that feels great, actually!”

“Good,” Phantom said, pulling his other hand away as well before sitting down just out of Jack’s reach. “You said you were looking for me?”

“Oh, right!” Jack said, reaching to grab the phone from the seat beside him, only to remember he wasn’t actually in the GAV and had left the phone in the passenger seat. He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “I forgot it.”

Danny’s laugh as Phantom was so odd, Jack decided. It was so definitively his son yet so eerily also not him with that echo. “You forgot why you were looking for me?”

“No, I remember that! I just… forgot it in the GAV.”

“Forgot what?” He asked. Had he actually forgotten or was he just really good at playing the part?

“I bought a cell phone for you and put some minutes on it - so you could contact me if you ever needed help.”

The shock on Phantom’s face told Jack that Danny had genuinely forgotten. “You bought me a phone?”

Jack nodded. “It was my son’s idea, actually. I was talking about how I wished I could check in on you to make sure you were okay, especially to make sure that you never… never went missing again without being noticed.”

“Really? You’re sure you aren’t overshadowed?” 

“You checked! Do it again if you want!”

Wordlessly, Phantom nodded and began pulling his left glove off. “Can you pull off your glove, too? I want to make sure your suit isn’t interfering somehow.”

Jack plucked his glove off as well and shoved his hand towards his ghostly son, who grasped it immediately, staring into Jack again.

At the contact, Jack jerked his hand away on instinct - his skin was so cold with no barrier, it nearly hurt in its chill. Phantom’s eyes narrowed and a blast began to grow in his opposite hand. “Wait, no, sorry! I didn’t realize how cold you were!” He apologized, holding his hand out again.

He was prepared this time for the deep chill, the nearly aggressive bite of the cold. Jack had lived in Illinois for years, lived even further up in the north a few years too, and this was still the harshest cold he’d ever felt against his skin. But he didn’t falter. Again, the short shock of cold through his entire body and a surprised look on Phantom’s face.

Phantom didn’t release his hand as he spoke. “I don’t understand.”

Despite the icy sting of the contact, Jack squeezed the hand he held softly. “I want to help you, but I can’t unless you let me. I’m sorry it’s so hard for you to believe me.”

When Jack squeezed his hand, Phantom quickly released Jack, apparently unaware he’d kept his grip. “I just… people don’t want to help me. They either want me to handle the problem and then go away or finish me off. No one’s ever wanted to help.”

“Well, people tend to want the same of me - the fix it and scram, part, at least. No one wants to off me.” A look passed over Phantom’s face at Jack’s words that made Jack think maybe someone did want him dead, but Jack continued forward. He wanted Danny to talk about himself, not Jack. Wanted to show as many times as needed that Jack Fenton could sit still and listen. “That looks painful.” He said, pointing to the back of Phantom’s still uncovered left hand, where the green lightning streaks wrapped up and around.

Danny looked down at his hand and grimaced, though didn’t move to hide it. Instead, he flipped it over, showing Jack his palm, where the worst of it was. In person, it looked worse. The circle seemed so dark it was nearly black, the green bleeding out of the black center more electric than his eyes. “Only sometimes.” He admitted.

Jack hesitated. He and Maddie had always speculated it would be an intensely bad idea to ask a ghost about their death, but the basis for that had always been on the theory that ghosts could neither feel true emotion nor remember their human lives. Clearly, this wasn’t true for Danny, maybe it wasn’t true for any ghost.

He had to have faith in Danny. “Do you want to talk about it?” He settled on.

“Thought you weren’t supposed to ask the dead how they died unless you wanted to join them?”

“You won’t hurt me.” Jack said with absolute, genuine confidence. “And you know you’re welcome to say no.”

Danny paused. Jack waited patiently. He had never been a patient man but this whole thing with Danny was turning him into one. He refused to push. Finally, Phantom pushed up the sleeve of his jumpsuit to his elbow, scooching closer and holding his hand out. Jack, pulling his glove back on, accepted his hand, Jack’s own dwarfing his teenage son’s.

“I was electrocuted.” He said simply.

“I assumed - these are very distinctive Lichtenbergs.” Jack answered, gently turning Danny’s hand over, studying the branches. “Is it normal for them to still hurt? Like, for all ghosts?”

“No, I’ve just got spectacularly awful luck.” Danny responded. “They… they flare up whenever I get hit by electricity.”

Jack grimaced guiltily. “Like the weapons we use?” He was absolutely demolishing the Fryer as soon as he got home.

He shrugged. “It’s not like you’re the only ones.”

“Can I hug you?” Jack blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Can I?”

“Uh, sure?” He answered, moving over and sitting so close Jack could feel the chill around him.

Jack pulled him into his arms, holding him against him. “I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry.” He confessed, feeling himself cry. “You’re just a kid.” Jack tacked on, to try to justify being so emotional. ‘You’re just a kid’ and ‘you’re my kid’ were close enough, anyway.

“Hey, I was sixteen! Practically an adult.” Phantom huffed, but allowed the contact, arms wrapping around Jack. 

“Still too young. Especially for what I’ve done. No one deserves what I’ve done.” Jack said, playing along with the age lie. After all, technically Jack shouldn’t have any reason to question the age he gave.

Jack held his son for as long as he could without it being awkward - Danny wasn’t his son right now. He wondered if he’d live the rest of his life with this guilt, with more guilt added every day. He’d been the one to notice Phantom’s aversion to electricity, after all. Maddie had never noticed - she may be the better shot, but that also meant she didn’t always see when the shot hit. The mental image of those green scars glowing blue with new electricity made his heart clench. Was there an award for worst father ever? Because he felt like he’d earned it.

“You aren’t planning on doing it anymore. That’s all that matters.” Danny said as Jack broke off the hug, smiling gently at the older man.

“You’re awfully forgiving, kid.”

Danny shrugged. “I’ve needed to be forgiven too.”

They fell into a silence that was surprisingly comfortable. After pulling his sleeve down and glove back on, Danny leaned back, holding himself with his hands behind him, staring at the sky.

Several minutes later, Jack began noticing the color of the clearing changing. It’d been bathed in white light this whole time from Phantom’s glow. Now, it had gotten darker and the light seemed to be shifting? He looked at Phantom to see if he saw it too, but broke into a stunned grin when he found his son was the source of the change.

The white of his aura had faded and the aura itself had grown larger - now a kaleidoscope of the rainbow shimmering around Phantom’s form. It reminded Jack of the aurora borealis in the way it seemed to move and breathe, though it had every color Jack had ever seen. It was genuinely beautiful. The freckles on his cheek glowed white and traveled across his face.

The whole family had gone to a planetarium a few year’s back. Danny’s favorite part had been when they’d gone into a huge, pitch black room. Darkness had been nearly absolute, barely able to see their hands in front of their faces. Then the room had burst into light, dots of varying sizes appearing on the ceiling. They’d begun to move and occasionally little lines would pop up, highlighting constellations then fading away before the next lines came up in a different one.

Jack smiled at the fond memory. Danny had been breathless, eyes the size of dinner plates, for the entirety of the show.

That was what Jack was reminded of as he watched his son. He wondered if Danny was unknowingly pulling from the memory as he watched the freckles turn and twist across his face, the same little lines appearing and fading.

The sight was a soothing balm to Jack’s soul, that he hadn’t even realized was inflamed. This was a side of Danny he recognized and remembered fondly. It was warming to see everything he had suffered hadn’t taken away too much from him, from who he was.

Danny, apparently sensing he was being watched, moved his eyes from the sky, smiling shyly at Jack, the colored aura brightening back to white. “I, uh. Like space.”

Jack laughed. “I’ll admit, I don’t know much about it. My son, Danny, knows more. He’s been trying to become an astronaut since before he could even pronounce the word correctly.”

Sadness pulled the humor from the smile across Danny’s face. “I hope he makes it. I’m sure NASA has some rigorous standards.”

“I believe in him. I think he just needs to believe in himself.” Jack said, hoping Danny would eventually understand the double meaning behind it. The faith Jack had in Danny Fenton, had in Phantom, had in the entirety of his son.

“Maybe you should tell him that sometimes.” Phantom said, then blushed green. “Just, like, as a kid his age. It isn’t always as obvious to us as parents think it is.”

Had Jack told Danny he was proud of him recently? He suddenly wasn’t sure. “I’ll keep that in mind. He has a hard time but I believe in him. Whatever he does, he will succeed at.”

Phantom smiled at the ground before changing the topic again. “You still wanna know about cores?”

“I’m a father first, but there’s no denying I’m second a scientist.”

He chuckled. “There’s a lot of types of cores. Ice, fire, water, electricity, and light are some of the rarer ones. Most ghosts actually have earth cores. They’re the ones with just basic abilities - flight, intangibility, invisibility, ecto blasts. The ones with other cores are the ones who tend to have more abilities. Do you know the names of any of the ghosts that frequent here?”

Jack knew more after seeing the USB files, so now he had to try to figure out which ones he should reasonably know. “Uh, a few of them? Technus, Skulker, Ember?” He decided - those were ones who liked to yell their names a lot.

“Yeah, those are some of our regulars. You may know more when I mention them. Anyway, Skulker and Ember are both earth cores. Technus is electrical. Plasmius - the Wisconsin Ghost - is a fire core. The Box Ghost, Spectra and Bertrand - who you met last week - are more earth cores. Some have even more specialized ones - there are some ghosts who are pretty much the basis of gods, and they are entirely unique. There’s one with a core of time.”

“A time core?” Jack asked, dumbfounded, though he hung to Danny’s every word. This entire time, he hadn’t even considered how much he could learn from Danny, he’d been entirely focused on gaining his trust. And while that was still his entire goal, it was nice that some of his curiosity could get tended to.

“He kinda controls time?”

“A ghost. Controls. Time?”

“He’s a friendly ghost!”

Jack remembered a listing for Clockwork in the flash drive mentioning time control capabilities but he’d been so thrown by his son’s confession he hadn’t even lingered on it. “That’s, uh. Interesting? So some ghosts are even more powerful than I’d ever thought. You’re already at the high end of our scale’s standards, after all.”

“Heh, yeah…” Danny said, rubbing his neck again. “I’m at the high end of ghost standards too. No one really knows why some ghosts are more powerful than others, it’s just something that happens.”

An odd sense of pride stirred in Jack at that. His boy, powerful among beings more powerful than most humans!

“Good thing you’re on our side then, huh?” Jack asked, nudging him with his elbow.

The smile that lit up on Phantom’s face was nearly blinding. “You actually believe that, don’t you? You really trust I’m not evil?”

“I do.”

“Thank you.”

Jack reached out and grabbed Phantom’s shoulder, shaking him gently. “You’re welcome, kid.”

“You had a phone you wanted to give to me, right?” Phantom said, standing up.

“Yeah, left it back at the assault vehicle, though.”

“Well, you probably shouldn’t walk on that ankle anyway. How about I give you a lift and you give it to me there? And I’ll melt the ice so you can drive okay. That ice won’t go away until I will it to.”

“Good idea, kid! You ready to go? I’m good to sit out here a little longer with you.” Part of Jack wanted to stay, to watch the nebula surround Danny again as he soaked in the stars, but Danny just nodded, hovering around and picking up Jack as though he were lighter than a feather, hooking his arms beneath Jack’s.

Quickly they rose in the sky, the ground rapidly disappearing further beneath Jack’s feet.

“You at the parking lot on the south end or the west?” Phantom asked as they floated over a hundred feet in the air.

“South end.”

Phantom didn’t say anything and veered them towards that direction.

“How fast can you fly?” Jack asked. He knew Phantom’s top speed was pretty high, though he assumed they were going pretty slow for Jack’s sake.

“I’ve never actually tested it? Don’t really know how. Pretty fast, though.”

“Well, if you ever want to test it, I’m happy to help. I’m sure I’ve got a speed gun somewhere. Nothing invasive or scary or more than you want to do, of course.”

“I may take you up on that. I’ve always kinda wondered, y’know?”

Jack was undeniably thrilled at that response. It wasn’t a yes or a no, but it wasn’t fear. They flew for several more minutes until the parking lot came into view and he gently dropped them towards the ground, phasing directly into the GAV and setting Jack into the driver’s seat. Danny glanced down at his ankle and the ice melted, taking the cool numb with it. At least it was his left foot that had gotten hurt and not his right, so he was still good to drive. Phantom grabbed the black phone and charger from the passenger seat, holding it for Jack to examine. “Is this the one you wanted me to get?” He asked.

Jack nodded. “It has my number in it already. Call me if you ever need me, okay? Don’t suffer in silence.”

“Heh, I’ll try. I don’t know how well a phone can survive some of the more, er, expensive property damage I tend to get thrown into.”

“Well, let me know if it gets damaged. I can replace it, but do try to be careful.” He said with a laugh. “But if it’s working and you get hurt, I expect a call, okay? And don’t try to hide it - I do have access to TV, after all, and news vans tend to love you.”

Phantom rolled his eyes. “You’re telling me. I swear, half the damage I cause is because I was trying to protect humans and defend myself at the same time. Amity Park’s citizens apparently don’t seem to care how dangerous being close to a fight like that can be!”

“I think it’s because they believe in you.”

“Huh?”

“They don’t get that close to me or Maddie - even when it’s just Maddie. They don’t get that close to the Huntress. But they believe in you to keep them safe.”

“I think they’ve just forgotten what common sense is.” He joked, but there was a thoughtful look on his face. “They’ve sure never said they believe in me, plus I’m still the one getting blamed.”

“Do you ever look for the praise as hard as you do the condemnation?” Jack asked, sitting back in his seat.

“Huh?” He repeated.

“You see the blame and the hate easily. But do you see the praise? I do. It may not be explicit, but it’s definitely there. When there’s a ghost sighting, it’s you that people wonder when you’ll arrive. When there’s a big threat, you’re the one they turn to, especially after the Pariah Dark incident. Try looking for the good things as much as the bad, kid. I think you’ve been looking at the bad for too long.”

Danny blinked a couple of times, mouth slightly ajar. “Maybe… maybe you’re right. I just need to look harder.”

“‘Course I’m right. You already said that it isn’t as obvious at your age when people believe in you.”

“Hey, did you just turn my words around on me?” Phantom asked, laughing.

“My daughter said one time that was a good parenting technique. I’m not your parent, but seems like you need some positive parenting, too. Or at least just some encouragement.”

“I’m not complaining.” He laughed, tucking the phone and charger into the jumpsuit pocket.

“You’re allowed to, though, you know. Complain. You don’t have to pretend to be perfect all the time. Not around me, at least, I can understand trying to be flawless with Amity’s normal citizens.”

Danny looked at him thoughtfully. “Your kids are lucky to have you, Jack. You’re a good man.”

“I try to be, even if I don’t always succeed.” Jack responded, though he felt his heart grip in on itself in his chest. He had trouble feeling like a good man, a good father, someone his kids were lucky to have. Would another kid have been so afraid of his own family he’d hide his death for this long? Or would another child have faith his parent’s love would transcend his death?

“No one’s perfect, Jack. All you can do is your best. Maybe you need to look for praise, too.”

“I’ll look harder if you will.” Jack semi-joked.

Phantom laughed. “Deal. You good to drive with your ankle like that?”

Jack tested his ankle, slowly rolling it. It twinged with pain but was manageable, especially since it wasn’t his dominant foot that he needed to work the pedals. He nodded. “I’m good, Phantom.”

“Then it’s time for me to get going, too. Even ghosts gotta nap.” He said, lifting up from the ground.

Before he had the chance to phase out of the vehicle, Jack stopped him. “Seriously. If you get hurt, you call me, understand? I know you said you know how to tend your own injuries, but you shouldn’t have to. Let me help, okay?”

“I promise - I’ll call you next time I get injured enough to need anything more than some gauze and duct tape.” He said, then disappeared through the roof.

Well. At least that explains Danny having the duct tape in his room. But why in the name of God was he using duct tape to hold gauze? They had medical tape! Jack sighed. Another mystery he needed to solve, another question he couldn’t ask outright. Well, not to Danny. Maybe he could ask Phantom next time he saw him because there was no way that didn’t hurt!

Then again, his son seemed to have a concerningly high pain tolerance.

Jack really hoped the pain tolerance was a side effect of being a ghost, not just from being in pain so often that pain had just become a fact of life.

As he drove home, though, he couldn’t help but feel hopeful. Danny had taken the phone, had talked to him. Had answered a ghost science question. Two full conversations with his ghost half (and a few pro-Phantom sentiments sprinkled into conversations with his human half) and Danny was actually talking to him.

Part of Jack hoped Danny would call him. Part of Jack hoped Danny never got hurt enough to need the phone.

All of Jack knew he’d get hurt enough to need his father within a week, though. Even without Jack and Maddie shooting at him, he had plenty of other detractors.

But now he had an ally who loved him and was not afraid to protect him with their own life.

When he went to bed that night, he dreamed of a planetarium with a Phantom cloaked in rainbows and stars in his face shining as he put together a model rocket.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

HOOLY GUACAMOLE!! 2K!!!! I can't thank you all enough for being here and sticking with me through everything. My spontaneous breaks, my break downs, my rant posts, and most of all... Thank you all for reading my fics!!

TIME FOR SOME TREE SAP!!!

@slayhyunjin : THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME AND REQUESTING AND JUST... TALKING TO ME. I LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE AND YOUR FEEDBACK ON MY FICS ALWAYS BRINGS ME LIFE AND MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! LOVE U SM!!! <3

@lovesunshinefelix : I SEE YOU IN MY ACTIVITY FEED AND I SAW YOU IN MY ASK BOX AND I APPRECIATE YOU!! HELLO!!! HI!! I LOVE YOU TOO!! <3 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!!

@peachbokkie : YOU MAKE WRITING THE BEFORE YOU FALL/CHOOSE SERIES TO MUCH MORE EXCITING! I WRITE EVERY CHAPTER IN ANTICIPATION TO YOUR REACTION! I LOVE YOUR REBLOGS AND YOUR COMMENTS AND YOUR TAGS! YOU MAKE WRITING IN GENERAL SO MUCH MORE FUN BECAUSE FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!! <3

@moon0fthenight : I PROMISE I SEE ALL OF YOUR ASKS AND I WILL GET TO THEM WHEN I CAN!!! IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME SINCE MY MASTERLIST WAS EMPTY, IT'S CRAZY, THAT FEELS LIKE SO LONG AGO. THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH ME SINCE THE BEGINNING!! I LOVE YOUUUU!! <3

@whatudowhennooneseesyou : THE QUEEN! SO BEAUTIFUL! SO LOVELY! I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO READ EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OUT! BUT YOU ARE THE REASON, THE START, OF THE YANDERE LEE KNOW SERIES, YOU WERE MY VERY FIRST REQUEST!! I TRULY BELIEVE THAT I WOULDN'T BE MAKING MY 2K FOLLOWER SAPPY POST IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, SO THANK YOU!! <3 I LOVE YOU!!!

@sunflwryu : I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL SEE THIS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU STILL GET ON OR CHECK YOUR TUMBLR, BUT YOU'RE IN HERE TOO!! I LOVE YOU LIKE A LITTLE SISTER AND I HOPE EVERYTHING IS STILL GOING AS AMAZING AS IT WAS WHEN YOU LAST MESSAGED ME, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN IT. <3

@sb0208cb / @inniessick : HAVE I BEEN A GHOST? ABSO-FRICKING-LUTELY! DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT IT! YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I DO! I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T MESSAGED YOU OR TEXTED YOU, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE YOU AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU <3 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU AND THE FICS YOU'VE WRITTEN (YES I DO CHECK UP ON YOUR PAGE TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL GETTING THE LIKES AND REBLOGS AND COMMENTS THAT YOU DESERVE). I LOVE YOU <3

AND NOW FOR...!!! WRITERS THAT I STAN AND FOLLOW RELIGIOUSLY BECAUSE THEIR WORK IS AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD FOLLOW AND READ THEIR STUFF AS WELL IF YOU DON'T ALREADY!!

@inniejeonginnie : the first dates headcanon was honestly the cutest damn thing I've ever read, and I wish I could reread it just to feel that fuzzy feeling I felt when reading all the members headcanons one more time for the first time. You put every single one of my exes to shame with your words and I thank you because I realize now my standards should have been higher and now they are. We all deserve the first dates that you wrote. Thank you so much, I love you <3

@telesvng : Your text posts are *chefs kiss* just amazing and perfect and I wait for them to pop up on my main page when I open tumblr. I'm so glad that I came across one of your posts and started following you because you're amazing. Thank you for posting, I love you <3

@feelbokkie : Thank you for feeding my delusions. Thank you for writing. Thank you for your contributions to my imagination. I usually read your text posts before bed because it further feeds into my dream delusions... So thank you!!! Thank you so much for being an amazing writer and I can't wait to read more of your work. I love you <3

(yes I end almost every thank you with an I love you -platonically obviously- but everyone deserves to be told that they're loved, and that they're appreciated. So thank you all again, and I love you <3)

[georgieluz]

Dou you think that Netflix streaming The Band of Brothers and The Pacific expand our little fandom? If it expands what changes happen? Will be the changes in good way or bad way?

i think it depends on if they throw it on the front page or if they just add it and you have to come across it yourself. i do think more people will discover it and enjoy it. i think we may see a few more blogs popping up but i don't know if it'll be on as big a scale as other fandoms, or for newer shows. if they promote it a lot and have it splashed across the main page then i think we'd definitely see a lot of people talking about it (mostly on twitter though, rather than here)

if we do end up with a mass expanding of the fandom, i think it could go either way. it's always nice to have a few more people around and i'm always down for welcoming new people into the fandom. i think it'll be worse over on twitter, rather than here. i find that when netflix adds shows, the new people flock to twitter to talk about it first. but then again, they may go there looking for hbo war fans and find it empty, so they may go looking further and figure that tumblr is their only real option, since it does feel like we're the only place with an interactive hbo war fandom. but maybe all the new fans will congregate over there and there'll be twitter hbo fans and tumblr hbo fans and not much crossover or overlap between us.

i used to be part of the f1 fandom over on the (ex)bird app and all the dudebros kicked off when new fans came after watching drive to survive, but it really wasn't bad. in fact, it was nice to see new people fall in love with different drivers and the sport. like imagine watching someone become obsessed with doc roe for the first time? or become completely unhinged because winnix will NOT stop flirting with each other in every damn episode, or they notice webgott's chemistry and write a massive post screaming about them for the first time. it might just be really fun to see. people seemed to enjoy me liveposting my first watch of the pacific, so maybe it'll just be a lot of fun things like that when new people come? i know that with a huge amount of new people comes the higher chance for drama and bad eggs, but i do think we've got something special here which will be hard to ruin. the f1 fandom on twitter was already a complete mess with drama every single day and just generally being a horrible place to spend your time, so it's really not comparable with our fandom here, but that experience did make me realise that even if there's a lot more new people, they tend to adapt to the specific ways of the fandom they're entering, rather than disrupting it.

maybe i'm just being optimistic and they'll come and burn our fandom to the ground but i'm choosing to look on the bright side.

alternatively, i was also in the tennis fandom and we had a huge influx of new people and it got really really toxic and pretty much ended the original cute little thing we had going on so :)

ultimately, i think it could go either way (good or bad) but whether it'll be a big noticeable change here on tumblr depends on whether netflix gives it all the bells and whistles when it adds it to the site and whether new fans find each other on twitter first or not.

also it's only going to be on us netflix and no where else apparently. obviously the usa is fucking huge so it's still y'know, impactful, but yeah, just a small thing to note?

it'll be interesting when it finally does happen though, maybe we should make a bingo card of predictions lmao

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Hi Sir.

First, thank you for your years of service.

But thank you also for your intelligent, interesting, often funny, always thought provoking Tumblr!

(My own Tumblr is, um, less high minded.)

We may be very different men in some ways, but your ideas on government, self defense, outdoor recreation, food, nature, married life, and most other subjects are right on, Sir!

On marriage, I happen to have a husband, not a wife, but I think for both of us the experience is an amazing journey of discovery and adaptation.

On self defense, I was never in the military. Honestly I don't know what half the weapons you post are. I just try to do a little karate, and lately a little kobudo in my "old age." (59, the oldest I've ever been!) But I marvel at your evident skill and breadth of knowledge. The whole point of being able to fight, after all, is to attain peace.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts online, Sir!

Just when I’m sure the Human race is beyond recovery someone pops up and reminds me there are still good damned people on this blue sphere we call home. @hoss-sc, First and foremost, thank you for your kind words, with that said I have been accused of a great many things, High Minded is not one of them, but I'll take what I can get. Thank you, it is my honor to have served, I found more than I’ve lost and it changed my perspective on so much. It is true we are different men but as I have found, people as individuals, devoid of the separations and segregation that are placed on us by society and governments see more eye to eye than we know. When you understand that the very people, organizations and governments that keep putting us in little boxes are the very one’s fanning the flames of hate and distrust. Reminds me of this scene from Men In Black.

I don't have much need of those little boxes, those categories that we are yoked with. I chose who I like, or dislike, based on who they are not who I'm told they are. As I have said many times on here I don't care where a person comes from, who they bend a knee to, who they sleep with or what color they are. My baseline qualifier is what kind of Human they are. I have never had one of those artificial sub-categories clarify a person for me, only time and actions can so that. The chaff will always separate from the Wheat given enough time to do so.

I am pleased you and I have much more in common than not. I think every Human has Rights that exist before the laws of men. I think life outside teaches more practical lessons than and room and 4 walls can. I think Governments should be small and people should be allowed to be free. Hoss, I’m glad you have found your love and your happiness, damnit it is a rare thing in this age of instant gratifications and disposable relationships. With that said I have been married 3 times, the first one left me while I was deployed, the second one stabbed me and the one I spent all those years looking for, well, we’ve been together 17 years this July. I don’t care if one is in a same sex relationship or an opposite sex relationship, who people sleep with has very little to do with me or what I think of them. I’m sure you and I could have long conversations about the boxes society has created to keep people both locked up and hidden in. Self-defense, Man this hits me to my core. EVERY HUMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO SELF-DEFENSE!! Self-defense is the cornerstone to living a life free from oppression either from thugs and criminals or oppressive governments. I think everyone should learn a form of unarmed self-defense and learn to use firearms because deferring your safety and the safety of those you love to someone less concerned about your survival just isn’t the greatest option. I taught unarmed self-defense for 10 years and I have taught armed defense for close to 30 years, each one is an important aspect in our personal responsibility to not live in victimhood. A few years back I started training in Filipino martial arts (kali, escrima, arnis) with a guy out at NAS Fallon, it is so different from the traditional Jiu Jitsu I started with in the 90’s and the Gracie style of Jiu Jitsu I did for many many years and the same style my kids do now. I trained at if for a little over a year before the guy got orders and I haven’t found an instructor since, small town blues. I cannot accurately express how important I feel self-defense is. But, as you know, as we get on in the years all the shit we did to our bodies in our younger more rambunctious years starts to slow us down. I’ll be 53 in June and all those “Oh shit, I survived that!” moments remind me that I am not quite a spry as I once was, but I’m also not dead. I will never be as fast or agile as I was at 20 or 30 or even 40 but I will never go down without a fight, it’s just not in my DNA. Thank you again, I mean that from the deepest places in my soul. “The ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them” ― Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy

[smolwritingchick]

Hi Val ! just a little note to thank you for creating Nini because it's super rare to have a black oc with a lot of updates so I hope you will continue like that🫶🏼I've been following you since before you deleted your account🫡 so when I saw that you had taken it back I was super happy ✨️ I just wanted to know if you knew when you were going to post or if you had to rewrite everything. big kisses to you and Nini 🫶🏼

Hi Angie!!! Omggg you are sooo sweet! Thank you thank you thank youuuu! I appreciate you sticking with me after all this time! I still get shooked when readers tell me they've been here before I deleted everything. I should also apologize to you and the old readers. I deleted everything abruptly with no explanation and I never realized just how happy my writing made so many people until I started getting messages on my personal Tumblr blog. And I'm like damn.

What made me start writing again and reposting my work was when I got a text message late last year from one of my elementary school mentors. I've kept in touch with her ever since and she had asked me if I was still writing. That question lit the fire again. I've been asked that question by so many people but when it came from her, something just sparked in me and I said to myself, "I fucking miss this shit. Let me start over,"

So, I set everything up. It's pretty cool to start back from the bottom and get rediscovered. I call myself a beautiful accident when people come across my stuff. I'm satisfied with reposting my work and being a smol part of the Black K-Pop community. I've become more of a casual fan of BTS and I don't follow too much K-Pop like I used to. I surely missed A LOT but it's exciting to watch and read over the things I missed in BTS from late 2020 to now.

I chose to finally write on Wattpad, too. I never used the site like that but I was like, I'm older now, let me at least try to write on it and I fell in love with it. I found the PDF of Bangtan Gal and then I began to reread and edit each chapter. Although lots of gifs and photos aren't there like before, I would rather have all the chapters I wrote for the story be here over some replaceable gifs and photos.

I rewrote a lot of things. Like the dialogue to make sure it would say "Jennie said" instead of "Says" and as I would reread certain chapters new ideas would come about and I would add to it which helped me get my groove back. A good example is the War of Hormone chapter when I thought of even more ideas of Jungkook helping Jennie get used to being in the presence of his stage persona when they perform together for the song. When he grabbed her back and asked her "Where you going?" when she started backing away was in the heat of the moment and I thought it was funny and pretty cute. And then him saying to himself that he hoped to be her boyfriend in his head at the end was another last minute idea when editing.

2+ years of writing the chapters and now I am back to where I stopped writing. It's surreal continuing the story. I hope you all bear with me for the slow updates. I missed how frequently I'd post the already prewritten/edited chapters lol. I was so excited to post this story again.

But anyway, I appreciate you all for taking the time to check out my creativity. I'll continue to work hard! :)

[paradoxespersonified]

Hey @staff, @wip when I filled out your survey this is NOT what I meant by a better, user-friendly UI. this is fucking ridiculous. You could have kept this notification in the background SO EASILY. in fact, YOU DID BEFORE THE CHANGE! I don't want to be notified if something gets posted successfully if I'm fast-reblogging on mobile! That's why it's fast!!!!!!

Each line of notification equals just (1) reblog, and they pile up, making it impossible to fast-reblog multiple times or successfully scroll. It takes more than 10 seconds for the pop-up to go away unless I bullseye-hit that tiny little arrow on top! OVERWRITE YOUR NOTIFICATIONS. I DONT NEED TO SEE MORE THAN the status of the MOST RECENT REBLOG. Seriously, who is in charge of making these UI decisions? Who gets the final say should be shot (not the programmers u guys are lovely)

CORPORATE LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN USERBASE AND YOU'LL GET USER GROWTH ORGANICALLY! Do you seriously doubt the power of your user base for doing your own peer-reviewed marketing for you? We were doing it just fine before the recent 7 years of Tumblr.

[m0thisonfire]

Blog Masterlist and Rundown:

Where I reblog memes and art, and post my art and stories too-

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Ao3 link- I post fanfiction on Tumblr from time to time, but you can find most of my stories on my Ao3 account!

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Sideblogs:

cr0ssingmoth for all my Levi thirsting and Aot oc tormenting needs.

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Current hyper fixation: Afk Arena/Journey

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Tags and characters-

I mostly reblog memes and such, but you can find my art under the ‘m0th draws’ tag! My writing should be under ‘m0thwrites’ if you want to see some drabbles I haven’t posted to Ao3

The characters I mainly write for right now are from Tfa and a bit of Tfp, and that includes ocs and self inserts for them too!

The main s/i is Faux Pas, and is her main tag!

The lesser ones are listed under the name Grey! Tfa or Tfp Grey have their own little niche that pops up here and there, no definitive tag yet-

The two Tranformers that currently occupy my mind 24/7 are Prowl and Starscream, so expect to find *a lot* about them on this blog- and by alot, that includes a ship for them. You can find it under the Ninjastar tag!

The lesser known ocs I talk about once in a blue moon is Devanii Hellfrost and Sybil Jorther. The only lore you’re getting of those two is from tags and obscure Tumblr reblogs, but they’re here too.

Syvanii stories:

Damned if I do, Damned if I don't

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My current brain worm is my OC Caramele! You can find him under his name and 'the ringmaster' tag!

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Another tag worth mentioning is the comms tag! Every now and then I get wonderful commissions that definitely need to be checked out! The artists are phenomenal and I do love the pieces they were kind enough to work on!

Status on asks-

Always open. I may take a while to respond due to work and gathering my courage, but I encourage questions and asks. Just expect awkward response in the beginning since, of course, I am not yet used to asks-

Current aus I have I feel are worth mentioning- (more likely to be added)

The Faux Pas au. Everything is the same except for the fact Faux Pas exists in the Tfaverse and is there to solely cause problems and go through problems.

Holoform/Humanformers au. Human Error if it actually happened, but Meltdown, Blackaracnia, and Soundwave are the main causes. All Cybertronians on earth turn into humans and is essentially a huge slice of life sitcom. Focused primarily around Starscream and his redemption arc.

Bounty-22 au. A work in progress, but Cybertronians and humans living in cowboy times. Prowl-centric in a way, him exploring the Wild West looking for vengeance and an artifact while traveling with an outlaw he doesn’t know is an outlaw. (The outlaw is Starscream, the best and worst liar in the west. I just really love Starscream, okay? But never fear, Lockdown plays a huge part in this au too. Because you can’t have cowboys without Lockdown.)

Zombies/Last of Us au. Yes, that’s right. Softbody robots and horrors beyond imagining. Another work in progress, but based around survival and zombies. No, none of the main cast die, I love them too much for that, they deserve their little community during the apocalypse.

Dead Space Au: A newly recruited Tfa Autobot Starscream replaces Isaac Clarke in the events of Dead Space. If you know Dead Space, you know he’s fucked mentally and physically. If you don’t know Dead Space, space zombies and serious fucked up shit. The Thing level horror. Know he is not coming out unscathed.

Tfa Ninjastar Twilight au: Exactly what it sounds like. The werewolves don’t exist here, and Starscream is the human in place of Bella. Takes no shit and runs most of the show because he’s Starscream. Meyer has no power here. I’m highjacking the lore and making all the characters suffer.