#cw: implied suicidal thoughts

[pjunicornart]

Sharing the angst. And a joint.

THIS IS NOT SHIP ART, SO DO NOT TAG IT AS SUCH! FTF! Wilbur and DR! Lewis sharing a joint and experiences with their parents. This AU Wilbur is from a fanfic on fanfiction.net. It reminds me of my own teenage experience... Ah, bad memories...

Credits FtF! Wilbur -> From the fanfic "From the Future" written by microscope on fanfiction.net. DR! Lewis -> From the fanfic "Discovery-Recovery" written by me on AO3.

Inspo -> Don't You Dare Forget the Sun by Get Scared - A classic for edgy phases everywhere.

You never knew your mind was dark.

[sarcasticmothdraws]

We love thinking about the scenario where you're pissed off at your sibling but don't want to think about the uncertainty that they might think that you're dead, they killed you, and you don't know if they could cope with that guilt or not.

[gooeseyleo]

Gooseyleo Prologue Part 8

Prev || Final

[nqueso-emergency]

Woke up to another horrible anon. Must be a day that ends in "y"

[itz-pandora]

Tw: su1c1d3 ideation/attempt, knife in frame, implied drinking

Art below cut (also rambling)

Chuck really struggles after Jules' death, he's lost his entire family (I'm leaning towards Terios also being dead at this point to solidify this)

Chuck felt awful before that because Nikki. Chuck helped give Nikki that adventurous spirit, and they built a plane together, which Nikki took to run away. He felt personal responsible.

Chuck's an introvert, so all he had was his family. All the connections and friends he made through work are on the other side of the world. The only person he can think of to call is Bernie, since she was Jules' wife. He called her because he wanted to be talked down from this, he wants to be able to keep living on but it's difficult when he's isolated and dealing with everyone he knows just disappearing. (Chuck lives in a rural area so he's not exactly gonna have a lot of regular social interaction.)

He unfortunately picked up drinking to try to dull the pain of losing everyone he cared about.

Bernie stays on the line with him because she knows what's gonna happen. She ends up making sure to schedule phone calls and visits so he keeps himself alive.

Chuck gets to meet Sonic after a long time and he completely falls apart. This is the first time Sonic ever saw Chuck cry, and this grown man is just sobbing while hugging him, since he's really glad to have a member of his family back.

At this point, Chuck wouldn't have any capacity to be frustrated with Sonic for running, he's just too glad to have him back.

[neopet-a-day]

[a-j-s-the-only]

"So, the joke goes something like— (and stop me if you've heard this one before) it goes something like, two kids with depression walk into a relationship. Now, the bartender asks—wait, shit, sorry. See, there isn't any bartender, 'cause, let's be honest: they're not doing their drinking by the glass, they're doing it by the bottle. Okay. Ok, so, the therapist says—but I mean, who can afford a therapist, these days? But the antidepressants, the antidepressants say, "I haven't worked in two years, but my list of side effects is too long for you to ever leave me. I am where you learned to be needed."

So they're coping. Of course, she's forgotten how to talk about herself in first person, while he offers up his life's story like it's a joke only he finds funny. Turns out the world is just as heavy on two sets of shoulders.

Two kids with depression walk into a supermarket. Two kids with depression walk into a doctor's office, walk into a brick wall, walk into the same bad day three hundred and fifty six times and call it normal. The only thing I know about this punchline is that I'm not gonna like it. That it looks like a hurricane of nothing. Of repetition. Of wake up, wake up, wake up. Of moving just fast enough to be considered alive, but only in the way a houseplant is considered alive, or a creeper vine. Plenty of things are still here simply because they don't know how not to be.

My boyfriend talks about death like a place he has tried to visit—like a destination he is always pointed towards, even when it is not the place he is going. For me, I don't bother aiming for an ending when, most days, I don't feel like I ever started. What I mean is—

Depression is ugly. And it's easy to backslide when you are trying to climb mountains, but that does not make you a failure. Two kids with depression woke up this morning, walked all the way to tomorrow and the day after that. Two kids with depression are still walking. That might not sound like much to you.

What I mean is we're a couple of fighters and we are still here. In spite of everything. Or maybe because of it. What I mean is suicide is not cowardice, but it is, without a doubt, an act of bravery to survive."

-PUNCHLINES by Ashe Vernon

[qin-qin16]

for the request: carrion trio + 29

29. KING FOR A DAY

Pairing. Reaper x Crow x Murder Content. SFW! Suicide thoughts and attempts, near death experience, hallucinations (?), reaper is not here but uh he is mentioned dw A/N. This one has all the things you like to write about! Plus an emo song 

Never had the silence in his mind felt so blessed as it did now, with his body sprawled in the empty bathtub, the joints of his dry bones full in marrow — like a rabbit too exhausted to fight against the trap tangled in its muscles, bound to its skin as if it had always been a part of it. But why would he? Why would Murder resist what had finally silenced the screams of his brother within his empty skull? What had silenced the cries of pity, the shouts of hatred and disgust…

It was like a dream finally coming true.

As if it were the first time he had ever done so, Murder smiled. Small, perhaps it could be called a half-smile or simply a subtle lift of his lips, but for someone like Murder — pathetic, lonely Murder — it was the greatest and most genuine happiness he had felt in years.

The bathroom was nothing more than dark, blurred stains trembling beneath Sans' pale eyes, faded memories of a not-so-distant past (it seemed like just yesterday that Papyrus asked him why they even had shampoo and conditioner if neither of them had hair), memories of a time when everything was simpler, easier to live.

The life that was more worth living than this distorted version the human created of himself.

And just before his eyes could finally close, before the tingling at the tips of his fingers spread throughout his body, giving a final farewell to this filthy vessel, a rustling echoed through the room. A single feather landed on the edge of the bathtub, almost touching his outstretched arm — completely naked, just like the rest of the bundle of bones that made up his frail, sickly form.

The trembling eyelights struggle to focus on the owner of the shadow that envelops him, seeming to hide him from the gaze of those who have already left.

“Tsk, the boss won’t like this.” Murder recognizes the click of that tongue, that calm voice... could it be yet another fragment of his already twisted mind? Playing another pointless game? A punishment, perhaps divine?

“You know he would never want to find you like this, right?” The voice returns, this time accompanied by low rustling sounds and a hoarse chirp at the end, as if this familiar figure was oddly pleased to find him in such a state

Pathetically still alive.

"Sorry buddy, but it's not today you'll meet the host of many — not this way, at least." The pure smile of that winged shadow was his last memory before his vision completely darkened.

Not before a faint green light appeared before his shattered ribs.

[kittzuxp]

Twomp oneshot i wrote cuz i was feeling miserable

on Ao3

CW: denial😔, cheating, self-destuctive thoughts and suicide

Mr plant was watching the telly, well not really, he was fidgeting with his hands while he heard the faint laugh tracks playing in the background. He was almost drifting off to sleep when the front door slammed, which shook him wide awake. He titled his head to look, it was his boyfriend, Argos! He looked like he was in a hurry, sweaty and taking big shaky breaths. His eyes filled with anger.

*[what happened?] Mr plant felt a little taken aback, Argos had never acted like this.

“You tell me!” He yelled, throwing photos on his lap. Mr plant fumbled with the photos trying to take a good look at them, and was slightly disgusted by the sight.

It was a depiction of him, holding someone else’s hands and looking at them with the same passion and warmth he looked at his beloved. The person’s face was obscured but some leaves of a tree in the foreground. The setting seemed to be at midnight, a single street lamp illuminating him and the other silhouette. The photo seemed to have been taken at a higher perspective, like a window from the second floor of a house.

The other photos were about the same, but the positions were slightly different. mr plant started feeling uneasy, he had never done this with anyone, nor does he remember this happening.

Mr plant felt uneasy, he knew where this was going, he had seen enough romance shows to know what usually happens.

*[Where did you find the photo?]

“It doesn’t matter! That’s you in the pictures, right?”

*[No! I would never cheat on you.]

“Don’t lie to me! It’s definitely you!” Argos sounded tired, but also hurt. So so so hurt.

*[Where did you find this?! Who gave this to you?] He stood up, towering over Argos by a few inches, and grabbed his forearm. Argos winced and looked at Mr plant in the eyes.

“Why does that matter! It’s none of your business!” He insisted and shook his arm, making Mr plant let go of his powerful grip.

*[It IS my business if I’m the one being photographed!] Mr plant didn’t understand why Argos refused to tell him.

“I- uhm.. UGHH!! When were you planning on telling me this?!” His eyes started tearing up from frustration. Mr plant hurt to see him like this, he reached out his lanky hand to Argos’ cheek to wipe the tears. Argos’ eyes wandered on Mr plant’s face after looking away and slapping Mr plant’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” He muttered. Mr plant was hurt by this, but obeyed.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Argos spoke up. Mr plant didn’t have time to think, his mind didn’t have enough time to race.

“We, should break up… this relationship. If you’re going to be dishonest.” He said again, with a firm and slightly louder voice.

“…I think..” he sighed and looked at him, “Look, I think this won’t work.”

Mr plant titled his head. Surely he misheard Argos. He hummed questioningly and brought his ear closer to Argos’ mouth.

*[hmm?] Mr plant sounded again, putting his ear closer to Argos. Surely he wasn’t hearing this.

“Mr plant. I’m Breaking up with you.” He really hadn’t misheard it. His face was turned from Argos’ so neither of them could see each other’s faces. Mr plant’s grin widened, his tears flowing hot down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them, leaving an ugly smudge on his face. He turned his face, a crying Argos was there, trying to look as if his own words weren’t affecting him and holding back.

*[You’d really rather believe some photographs than me..?] Argos was quiet, his two big eyes avoiding Mr plant, his other, smaller ones were looking right at him.

———

As soon as he had come, he had left. and Mr plant was alone.

He was too alone, so alone. He sat on his couch and waited. He waited for Argos to come back from work, like he usually did.

The hours passed, Argos didn’t come. But he waited like he always did. He never moved an inch. Soon, 2 days had passed when Mr Plant realised he wasn’t going to come back, come back home. Not HIS home anyways.

What even was he without Argos? Argos was always a very distinguishable person. But all Mr plant was was a cold monster who tried to feel human emotions and failed. He didn’t have a distinct personality nor a unique trait that made him his own person.

He was just a mutated flower from a foreign void. This wasn’t meant to happen to him. Everything that had happen. He was mad at himself, he was mad at Argos but also wasn’t.

Not even once did he think to comfort himself through this. He only blamed himself, it wasn’t Argos’ fault, he only believed at what he saw.

There were too many thoughts racing in his mind, too many for him. He thought his head might explode with how much thoughts he was having. Too many, So so many...

Your fault

your fault

your fault

His hands gripped tighter against his throat. His breaths were beginning to cut short.

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOURFAULT

YOUR-

He gripped tighter.

His vision began to grow faint and his thoughts started to drown out. His Head started to hurt in a good way, a comfortable way that didn’t hurt at all.

He gripped as tight as possible.

He was not longer breathing, gasping for air that wouldn’t reach his lungs. The only thing in his mind were the gasps and yelps. He tried to shut them up too.

After a bit his feet gave up, he fell down and closed his eyes.

“Goodbye Argos, I love you..” He knew nobody would hear that, and took his final rest.

[abubblingcandle]

🌧️🌧️

Thank you love! Sorry it's taken so long to get to this. From this ask meme (which I am still accepting asks for!)

🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP - A Treatment Room Doors Moment

“Your beard? Your curls? What is this, your depression era?” Jamie’s jaw dropped and his arm reached out. Roy batted the outstretched limb away with a growl. “Fuck off, what is this, your depression era?” Roy muttered. The silence that followed was deafening. Jamie’s arm that Roy had batted away fell limply to his side before tucking into the oversized hoodie he was drowning in. “I dunno, maybe, what’s it to you?” Jamie broke the thick fog of tension. That was not the response Roy was expecting. His own biting curse of denial sat on his tongue but it felt false now Jamie had laid himself bare. “I’m worried,” he whispered instead. “I don’t want you to do something you will regret. I couldn’t wait, I didn’t want to be too late,” the words poured out of his throat now the dam had been opened. “Too late?” Jamie frowned, his unwashed hair failing out of the loose headband and drifting down over his eyes. “I, I worried you would do something that there was no coming back from,” Roy turned away, he couldn’t see Jamie’s realisation of Roy’s meaning hit his face. “I guess you better come in then,” Jamie’s voice was quiet, timid. And he didn’t refute Roy’s words.

[uzis-diary]

tw major vent under cut‼️‼️

containing s3lf h3rm, su!cidal thoughts/attempts, self hatred, depressive episodes/depressive thoughts, e3ting disorder, dissociative thoughts/ dissociation, not feeling real? dehumanization? (not sure abt the last 3 sry.

[the-vibe-is-strange]

something has to be wrong with me. It can’t possible be normal to feel like im being crushed to earth whenever anybody asks me to do the dishes. I must not be meant for this world and this life. My reactions to things aren’t normal. I don’t want to do anything ever again. I’m scared to go back to school. I’m scared to go downstairs and be with my family. I’m not scared because im going to hurt. I’m scared because it feels like the worst thing that could happen to me. Doing things, I mean. There is only one rational explanation for why im like this. Broken. I’m wrong. I don’t fit the world. Otherwise… things might feel ok some of the time.

[maepersonal]

TW SUICIDE

... a magic 8ball just told me I should kill myself and like...

now I don't want to anymore

but I just don't think there's any other option at this point

[possumsarenice]

is anyone else wondering what Sun meant by “look at the ocean one last time” like what do you mean “last time”

[crzyimp]

Chapter 9.

Reading this chapter another time, then and now, left me somber. It starts out joyful with our favorite monk's parents' meeting. His father, Guangrui, gained a blessing to go to the capital for examination and job; getting first in rank and personally being praised by the Tang Emperor. Spent 3 days on horseback going around the capital. Then we're introduced of Xuanzang's mother, Yin Wenjiao(referred to as just Lady Yin later on), who sees a handsome, smart, and high ranking official during his 3 day parade; throws down a embroidered ball at her future husband knocking off his black cap. Though I like to think she went: "YOU!" pointing at him from the tower and aimed for his head. Really making sure that this guy's dense and doesn't get a hint. Actually, does that mean she technically proposed to him? Anyways they get married, move to city for Guangrui job, and picked up his mother along the way. Even saved a golden carp and sending it back to its river! Guangrui mother gets sick and forced to stay at a rent house. A little bump in the road, but that's fine since the couple can retrieve her in the fall.

Then Liu Hong appears captivated by Lady Yin's beauty and rips the young couple future away by killing Guangrui and stealing his identity. Forcing Lady Yin to comply to his demands. They dump Gaungrui's body in the river where thanks to saving, not actually a carp, his body and soul is preserved until his is avenged by his murderers.

Lady Yin is miserable in her situation, wishing to eat Liu Hong body and sleep on his skin. But kept her dark thoughts to herself and didn't enact on them; as she was pregnant with our monk! But not happy news as Bastard Liu Hong will kill our future protag the second he gets the chance. Thanks to divine intervention and luck, Lady Yin manages to send the baby away. By writing a letter in her own blood and biting off one of his toes before sending him off on river; tied by her garment before found by a monk.

So our monk, nicked River Float, and then called Xuanzang once he turned eighteen and joined the monetary; he learned of his orgins and set off to right wrongs. He succeeded, reuniting his mother, who helped him get in contact with grandfather. Who later just destroyed Liu Hong in a brutal fashion. I strongly don't think Xuanzang was there to see that part as he was probably with his mother, who already tried to kill herself once saved. She does it again after they toss Liu Hong's heart and liver into the river, seeing her husband body floated up. Who comes back to life!

Happiness as Xuanzang's family all together again, his father joins the Emperor court, and he continues with his studies in the Way. Except for Lady Yin, who succeeds in taking her life. Bittersweet ending.

Now for my notes and theories. You cannot tell me that this boy wasn't bullied by his peers for being an orphan. He had nothing, no name, probably no friends, and put all his efforts into studying the scripture as a source of comfort or even proving his worth to be there. (I could ramble more on his upbringing and the similarites with him and Wukong's background, but that could be for another day)

Besides the luck and divine intervention(and Sha Wujing eating his past lives), another clue that Xuanzang might be special is when he cured his grandmother blindness by licking her eyelids.

Or the pain and guilt that despite everything he did failed to save his mother.

But that's enough rambling from me for now.

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

[kitakami-zorua-kin]

i - i'm so sorry - i didn't - i didn't know i'm sorry i - i should've - should've been there - i care i do i'm sorry - i didn't know - not again please i'm sorry not again i can't - i'm sos orry i should've been there i'm sorry i didn't know i would''ve been there if i knew i would've i'm so sorry i didn't know- rus? shit - rus, bud, you alright?! i - i'm sorry so sorry i didn't know not again they never should've fished me out i can't help anyone should've juhst left me in the sea- i'ms sorry i didn't know i care i do i'm so sorry i- i can't do it again i can't do the fucking kitakami trip again please i'm so sorry i'll be there next time i swear- fuck