#currently revamping my blog hoping it’ll get me out of my writer’s block��

[fabraies-archive]

@yonagguni -> @fabraies

[punkedhero]

I’m going to do a soft revamp here. I’ve been considering it for a while & really struggling with myself to go through with it. Lately i’ve just come to realize it’s time to put situations behind me & move forward. Below the cut i’m going to get personal with what’s been going on & to some it’ll be some mindless rambling but to me it’s opening up in ways I haven’t been able to. So i’m throwing my personal ramblings under the read more ( feel free to ignore it ). 

Anyway, this blog is almost a year old! I’ve decided to softly revamp here while I still figure out what to do with Jirou. So what a soft revamping means is:

I’m going to slap a new mains call on the dash.

I’m going to slap a new relationships call on the dash.

I’m deleting old drafts that I can’t find the muse for.

I’m clearing out my inbox so I can reblog some fresh memes.

I am attempting to be a social creature & reach out in hopes of making new friends. 

Alright… this is going to get very personal here. I am sorry for how lengthy this is going to become and for what may seem like rambling but I just need to pour my heart out here and talk about things. I have been so scared these last few months to post anything that could come off as personal or venting in any way because I never want anyone to assume I’m negative or whiney all the time. But I also have to remind myself that this is my blog, this is my safe space, and this is my area to try to reach out to other passionate writers and make friends. I don’t want to log onto here and feel my anxiety spike up. I don’t want to log in anymore and feel uncomfortable looking at the dashboard and play the “oh gosh does this person like me?” game. I am here to write for muses that I feel strongly for and to have a creative outlet of a shared hobby to share with others. I just want to move on from bad experiences here and try to rekindle my love for this particular fandom.

As many of you know I have been in the MHA / BNHA fandom for a good year now, a little longer given my first muse. I can easily say this is the first fandom I was ever warmly welcomed into with open arms. When I started this blog back last February I had no idea I would be walking into such a roller coaster of a community. I have made a handful of amazing friends here who I consider very close to me and love dearly. They are the reason this blog still exists. These friends know who they are and I want them to know I truly appreciate everything they do for me.

However, I’ve also met many individuals who I called my friend at some point or another and have been hurt a lot this last year. Which I know many of us have been struggling last year because phew the world sucks right now. Regardless, I have felt so uncomfortable lately with being on my blog because I’ve had to cut some ties with individuals who I no longer got along with or couldn’t see myself staying friends with any longer. That’s human, that happens. Everyone has the right to unfollow, unfriend, and block anyone else that just isn’t their friend any longer. It’s life. To individuals that I’ve hurt through this process of finding myself I am sorry. I am sorry we could no longer get along or found ourselves walking different paths. I wish you the best and hope that you’re doing well. You deserve that and I’ll always respect your wishes!

  These last few months I have been battling with my mental health furiously. What many mutuals do not know because honestly I do not make a big deal about it is that I’m bipolar and have been fighting off depression. As many of us are still currently! And for those that are doing the same my heart goes out to you & I hope you’re doing better lately! This season sucked, truly. Personally, I found it difficult to reach out to friends and carry out conversations because some days I just do not have the energy to even type or keep up with anything. That’s no one’s fault. It’s just how it is sometimes. But despite that I want to reintroduce positivity back into my life. Because the only way I can be happy is to make myself happy.

  I’d love to meet some new friends who I can share laughs with, ships with, and make this year a far better year than what last year gave us. I want to rekindle my current friendships so we can continue to write together. Basically what i’m rambling on about is that I’d love to have the opportunity to have a lot of friends. A distraction from work, school, and family to come home with new ideas for writing is so amazing and I’d love to have that back. Thank you to anyone who’s read all of this and thank you for sticking around. On this blog anniversary coming up I’m going to be gushing about all my mutuals and looking forward to moving on from what last year was. I love you all, thank you for being so supportive!