#ctrl-alt-languages
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kn96artworks · 2 years ago
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status: currently looking for a remote online job
because after 27 years of living, i have decided to care more for my chronically audhd brain by avoiding people and excessive stimuli
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advestager · 2 years ago
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if i had to be subjected to @/nireos' tags so does everyone else
to all non spanish speaking content creators out there, I beg you:
do not use the term “mija”
“Mija“ is a term your mom uses
“Mija“ is a term your grandma probably uses 
why? because it is “mi hija” shortened, as in “my daughter”. It is not really a term your romantic partner would use when referring to you. In my opinion, it´s kinda cringy and a turn off
remember, just because you saw an endearment in another language it doesn’t mean it can be applied to all situations
it’s a little deppressing when there are a lot of prettier endearments out there:
amor, mi amor = love, my love
cielo, mi cielo = heaven, my heaven (?) or a placeholder for darling
corazón = heart
tesoro = treasure
vida, mi vida = life, my life
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amynchan · 13 days ago
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Computer Troubleshooting
Because I have some students who are of adult age and do not know how to troubleshoot their problems. When they get an error message, they, too, freeze as though the Great Computer Overlords have done them a personal disservice, and there is no way through. The helplessness is Real, guys.
But there is usually a way through. Computers are big input/output machines, so there's usually a way through. It's just annoying as fuck.
Step 1: Read the error message. No, I do not mean skim it. I do not mean let your eyes pass over it while you panic. I do not mean scream at the error message as it pops up repeatedly while you try the same thing over and over and over again. Sit your butt down, turn your eyes and brain on, and read it. The computer is an intricate connection of wires and hardware and software with specific parameters, and it is also a big baby that usually has the language to tell you exactly what is wrong and how to fix it. Once you read the error message, do what it tells you, and your computer should be a happy lil' clam.
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Step 2: Go back and read the directions. Same thing. Sometimes, the error is "whoops, something went wrong!" In that case, find the directions on the site itself. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a student at a login page and Very Frustrated that they can't log in when the instructions on how to do so are Right Next To The Login Button. It's right there. Turn off autopilot, read the directions, and follow the directions.
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Step 3: Explore the software itself/retrace your steps. More reading, but treat this like a point-and-click adventure or some kind of rudimentary detective work. Sometimes, you just missed something x amount of steps ago, or you didn't see a specific button that you needed to click. Usually happens with Canvas where students kinda forget that in order to open an assignment, you've got to go through the module itself, which may include pages that you need to look at first. =_= You can't just use the to-do list. Usually, there are directions on how to use the software properly. Find it, then follow it. See if that fixes the issue.
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Step 4: Check your internet. A lot of this shit is now internet-connected. Check that you're connected. This could be that your modem power switch got hit by the cat, you haven't logged in doing what the internet service asked you to do, or you're on data and have hit a major slow down. Make sure the modem is on and powered, make sure that you've done any logging in that needs to be done, and check your data.
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Step 5: Look up any error codes. Look, computers use the language that was given to them. If the coder said "present this code when you freak the fuck out" to the computer in their fancy coding language, then the computer is going to do that. Put in the elbow grease and use duckduckgo or any other search engine to figure out what the code means. Someone somewhere already wrote it down for you. Find it.
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Step 6: Close the software and reopen it. Sometimes this requires opening up the task manager (ctrl+alt+delete and click 'task manager' and similar for mac), finding the software, right-clicking, and hitting 'end task.' I have to do this to discord sometimes. Kill that bitch with No Mercy, and then revive it. Sometimes, this helps without having to turn the whole thing off and then on again.
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Step 7: Turn your hardware off, wait at least 10-30 seconds, and turn it on again. No, don't hit the 'restart' button. Let it die. Die, die, die, die. Then revive it. Sometimes--many times--this works.
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Step 8: Call IT. This is basic troubleshooting for your computer. Lil' bit of first aid so you don't end up hopeless and without your computer when you Really Need It. If the above steps don't help, call in an expert. But make sure you follow these steps first.
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Also don't wait until the last minute istg.
Also, bonus step, if you've lost a document, check the downloads folder and the recycling bin on your computer. Chances are that it's in one of those places.
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Now, obviously I am talking specifically about students who are having trouble with the Learning Program/Software, but this usually works for anything else, too. I hope this is helpful to more than just the target audience.
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silentglassbreak · 1 year ago
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Fragmented
Noah Sebastian x OFC
I’m getting some of the most amazing comments and reblogs, I thank you all so deeply!! I love this story so much. I love where I know it’s going, so please trust me?
Warnings: Good ol' fashioned misery.
+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.
Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86
Part 4 - Graveyard
I could feel how flighty she was, like a feral cat that could scurry with any sudden movements. I held my hands out, trying to ease tension, and failing.
“Baby,” Her face was unreadable. Something between bewilderment and pure shock, but also seething rage, possibly. “nothing happened.”
She stared at me, waiting for me to say more, but I didn’t.
“That’s all you’ve got?” She was mocking me, and my stupidity. Good. I deserve it.
“Yes. Because that’s all there is.”
Her eye roll was as dramatic as they come, nearly making her head spin.
“Well, she was sure worked the fuck up, Noah. Sounded like a little more than nothing.”
The evenness in her voice contradicted her body language. She was now stood, hands in the air, confrontational.
“She’s insane.”
Her eyebrows jumped, a look of disbelief on her face.
“A girl essentially professes her love to you, and you call her insane?”
Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely.
“Leena, I’m not just being an asshole here. She has actually fucking lost it.”
I tried to mimic her calm, hoping this would steer the conversation on a healthier course.
That hope was thrown out when her voice jumped several decibels.
“Oh fuck you, Noah!” I could see them now, the hot, angry tears, rising to the surface, not quite ready to spill over. “People aren’t just so fucking obsessed with you that they make that kind of shit up!”
My eyes were staring at her, a frantic anxiety now rising inside me.
“She did! I’ve never, not fucking once, given her any ideas! She’s fucking mental, Mileena!”
“What happened at the club, Noah?” Her voice was back down, her hands hanging helpless at her sides.
“Nothing happened. We talked, and she spilled a fucking drink on me, and herself, so I-“
“Back up.” She put her hand up. “Don’t gloss over the details. Walk me through it.”
I shrugged hard. “I was alone, sitting on the couch, and she came over to talk to me. She had already had a few, and was pretty drunk when she approached me.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, frustration bubbling. “She spilled her drink on both of us.”
“So you were sitting pretty close together?” She raised an eyebrow, her arms again crossed in front of her.
“Jesus, Mileena, it’s a club! It was loud!” I threw my hands in the air and eyed her, irritated. “Since when are you the jealous type?!”
Her mouth fell open, and I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. What a stupid fucking thing to say. Of course she’s not. That’s not what this was.
“The jealous type?!” How do I delete the last ten seconds? “You think this is me being jealous?!”
Ctrl + Alt + Del?! End Task?!
“You’re the one that’s fucking insane, Noah!” She turned, grabbing her phone off of the nightstand. “Let me show you how your behavior changed since that night.”
She unlocked her phone, opened our thread, and began scrolling. I didn’t even need to be close to see, my texts were back to back, five to six at a time, or paragraph long messages. She switched to her call logs, which was just my name over and over the past several days.
I would like to hand in my resignation to life now, please.
“Since that night, you’ve been blowing me up, and being extra affectionate, and clingy.” She scoffed, locking her phone and tossing it on the bed. “First I thought you just missed me but-“
“I did miss you!”
“You felt fucking guilty, Noah!” Her voice was nearing a scream. “Now quit pussy-footing around it and tell me what fucking happened that night!”
I sat down in the bed, and took a deep breath.
“Please believe me when I tell you, nothing actually happened.”
She stayed planted, several feet away.
“We left the club, I gave her a ride because she was going to Uber, and that wasn’t safe.” She was deathly silent. “Car ride took about thirty minutes because of traffic. We just listened to music, sang the songs on the radio.”
“She made a bit of a pass at me before she got out, saying something like she wanted to get to know me better? Or something like that. I don’t remember verbatim.”
“Then?”
“I went back to the club.”
She shifted her weight, leaning back on the desk against the wall. “That’s it? That’s all?”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. “No.”
She visibly tensed, so I just went on.
“She texted me later. Said she left her vape in the car.” I looked up at her, trying to earn some kind of emotion. I was met with nothing but ice. “So I went to go get it.”
“She couldn’t get it herself?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. She could’ve. She offered.
“I found it, and took it to her room.” Her face almost looked like it was turning a sickly shade of green. “She opened the door, in her underwear, and a crop top.”
Her fingers were gripping the edge of the desk so hard that it was likely to snap if she didn’t let up.
“She invited me in. I left. Went back to my room. And avoided her ever since.”
Her hands eased ever so gently, but she didn’t let up her gaze. Seeing she wasn’t satisfied with that, I swiped my own phone from the table, and opened to Rachel’s text thread, handing her the phone.
“See? Nothing.”
She scrolled, eyes reading the one-sided conversation from the last few days.
“Only other thing I can tell you is that Folio told me that she said some shit to him at the bar, that she liked me? Or wanted to sleep with me?” I sighed. “I don’t know, and I don’t really care.”
She nodded, locking my phone, but still had yet to speak. She was thinking, going over it in her head, checking for holes, but there were none. That was all of it. I didn’t do anything wrong.
“I have only one question.” She handed my phone back to me, and I just nodded. “In the hall, she asked you if you considered it, going in her room. If you thought about it.”
My stomach dropped, my mouth went dry, and my heart stopped, all in the same fraction of a second before her next words came out.
“Did you?”
Where do I go from here? My brain, my heart, and all of my senses screamed at me to lie.
But I couldn’t.
Last time I lied to Mileena, I was drinking. And she left me. And who would know? Who could prove me wrong?
But…I couldn’t.
“Yes.”
I saw something, I can’t say what exactly, break behind her eyes. A tear finally spilled out over her cheek, and I saw her jaw clench under her skin. I felt as though I had just cut a cord on a rope bridge that held me up, and now I was just falling. Plummeting.
“Oh…” Her voice was so small now, and I felt something inside me shredding. Screaming. I’m such a fucking idiot.
Good one, Sebastian. Way to take it to your grave, dumbass.
But this was a grave, that I somehow ended up in, that I didn’t even fucking dig. It was fucking aggravating.
I stood up, reaching for her, but she flinched, putting an arm up between us, and squeezed her lids closed. More tears leaked from her eyes, and she only cracked them open for a second.
“Can you, uh, give me a few minutes?” She averted her eyes away, and I backed away from her out of respect. “I’m just…” She waved her hands around her head. “processing.”
I nodded. “Of course.” Shrugging, I pulled my shirt off. “I can take a shower? And we can talk more after?”
She only nodded in response, wiping her face.
I made my way into the bathroom, leaving the door open. I decided to take a quick shower, trying to wash the anxiety off of me. It was out in the open now, the fun part was working through it, and reminding Leena that no one else compared to her, and my idiotic brain was never going to turn on me like that again.
Imagine my shock when I stepped out of the bathroom, and my hotel room was empty, her bag, phone, and shoes gone. I ran over to my cell, opening it to call her when it began ringing, Nick’s face flashing.
I opened the call with haste. “What’s up?” My voice was frantic.
“Dude, what the fuck happened?!”
-
My fist was slamming into the door harder with each swing, the phone up to my ear telling me I was getting voicemail, again.
I growled, and beat on the door harder. “Open the fucking door, Rachel!”
I felt a set of hands on my shoulders, tugging backward.
“Noah! Calm the fuck down!” I fought back against Folio, as the door to the room swung open.
Rachel’s eyes were still thick with sleep, her hair hanging in a low ponytail. This time, she was fully clothed. Hilarious.
“You fucking psychopath!” My logical brain was gone, and I was fully primal, as I lunged toward her. Several hands had me around the waist, arms, and one on my chest. Nick’s face came into my line of vision.
“Noah, stop! Fucking stop!”
“No! She’s fucking insane! She knows what the fuck she’s doing!” I was baring my teeth like an animal, my hands balled into fists.
She stared at me, terrified, eyes blown wide and nearly hiding behind the door.
“W-What are you talking about?” Her words were timid, which only enraged me further.
“Don’t pull that bullshit! You knew she’d hear you! You manipulative bitch!”
A hard slap came across my cheek, and I glared over at Nick, who had taken a defensive step back.
As angry as I should’ve been, I was instead brought back to reality, realizing it was at least 1AM, in a hotel hallway.
“You good, dude?” My eyes stared at his, my body softening with each passing second. Eventually, the hands holding me loosened, and I shrugged away from them.
I nodded at Nick, who pushed my shoulder down the hallway toward another door. “C’mon dude, let’s go talk.”
“Is he drunk?” I could hear Rachel’s voice behind me, and I snarled, almost turning around before I heard Folio.
“Oh shut up, Rachel. You’ve done enough.”
Safely inside the room, I sat heavily on the bed, and dropped my head in my hands. My friends stood around me, staring down at me.
“She left?” Folio’s voice was sad, and I just nodded, staring at the floor.
“She came and got Laura about half an hour ago. She was crying. Said they had to leave.”
I picked my head up. “Laura was in your room?”
Nick raised his brows at me. “Is that really your concern right now?”
I heaved a breath and flopped back onto the bed, covering my face with both arms.
“She’s not answering my calls.”
“Fill us in, man.” Jolly sat next to me.
I had to go through all of the details again, them all asking various questions. By the end, I was more calm, but still so fucking angry.
“I’ve got to get home, man. I can’t ride back with her.”
Nick nodded. “We can rent a car in the morning? Drive back alone?”
“Pfft, and leave us with the wicked witch?”
I snorted at Folio’s comment.
“What the fuck am I going to do?”
“For starters, I’m calling Sumerian tomorrow. Figure out our options, legally.” Leave it to Jolly to use his right mind. “For now, you need to stay away from her.”
Standing up, I moved toward the bedroom door, squeezing the handle before opening it. “Not a problem. Just keep her the fuck away from me.”
Back in my room, I promptly blocked Rachel’s number from my phone, electing not to send her a last scathing text message.
I then, profusely, called Mileena. I was met with voicemail, leaving a few in my endeavor to reach her. I must have done this for hours before finally falling asleep, fully clothed, on top of the comforter.
When I awoke, Nick was jostling my shoulder, a duffel hanging from his shoulder.
“Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty. I’ve got the rental downstairs.”
I obeyed, gathering my things haphazardly, and following him to the lobby, not bothering to stop to brush my teeth or comb my hair. I didn’t care. Nothing mattered.
The drive back to Calabasas was long, hot, and irritating. I was slumped in the passenger’s seat while Nick drove. About half an hour in, I finally spoke.
“What if she doesn’t forgive me?”
Nick scoffed. “Please.” I glanced at him inquisitively. “She’s forgiven you for worse.”
I bumped my head back into the headrest repeatedly, groaning. “I hate this.”
“I know. But it’ll all work out, dude. Mileena loves you, and she’s a reasonable person.”
I nodded, accepting that answer.
“So…” He turned to look at me for a second. “You and Laura?” This made him crack a smile, that I returned.
“She’s fucking cool, dude.”
I slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Damn good baker, too.”
He nodded. “Yeah, she made me this cheesecake for my birthday? Fuck, man. Amazing!”
My mouth fell open. “Your birthday was five months ago!”
He laughed. “Dude, you miss a lot.”
I shook my head. “You little shit, couldn’t tell your best friend?!”
“Sure, if my best friend wasn’t always so wrapped up in his own drama.”
I punched a fist at his shoulder, laughing.
“Jackass.”
-
I opened the front door, and was met with overwhelming silence. No Angel barking. No TV playing. No voices. Nothing.
I moved slowly into the house, feeling an overwhelming nausea, as I bound up the stairs toward my room to deposit my bag. It was clear no one was here, but I didn’t know what to expect the further into the house I got.
The note was laying on the middle of the bed, but I didn’t pick it up immediately. I set my bag down and opened one of the dresser drawers, Leena’s pants drawer, which was empty. I then walked into the closet, where all I found were empty hangers on her side. I jogged down the hall to Addie’s room, where I found her walker, diapers, wipes, and clothes were gone. Even Angel’s bed that was always laid in the corner was gone.
My heart sunk, and I walked slowly back to my room, picking up the folded paper on the blanket, opening it to see her clean script.
Addie, Angel, and I will be staying at Laura’s for a while. Dad left this morning. When you’re ready to come see the baby, text Laura.
-Leena
I dropped the note, it falling gently back to the bed. Without thinking, my hand grabbed the lamp on the side table, slinging it at the wall behind the dresser, causing it to shatter.
“God damn it!” I screamed, my words echoing around the empty house. The tears fell hot onto the bed, my teeth grinding tightly together.
-
I let a few hours pass, taking a cold shower, and forcing myself to calm down. I ate a bowl of cereal, choking down each bite while fighting against the nausea settled in my gut. After I had gotten dressed, and relaxed enough to know I wouldn't explode at any given moment, I texted Laura.
Me: Hey
I didn't have to wait long.
Laura: Hey
Me: Can I come see Addie?
Laura: Of course
The drive to her house took about twenty minutes. I had rehearsed over and over what I would say to Leena, how I would convince her to come back home with me. How we could move past this.
But when I pulled up to the house, I was disappointed to see only Laura's car in the driveway, Leena's Tahoe nowhere in sight.
When Laura answered the door, she had Addison on her hip, who gave a large, single-toothed smile as soon as she saw me. Any hesitation and anxiety I had melted the very second I laid eyes on my daughter. I hadn't held her in months, and right now, all that mattered was her.
"Hey baby girl!" She reached her little arms out for me, and I scooped her up enthusiastically, planting a long, hard kiss on her cheek. She squealed in excitement. "Ugh, I missed you so much."
I squeezed her into my chest, her hands grabbing at my hair. She smelled so sweet, the baby scent still having a full effect on me. Laura moved to the side to let me in, and Angel ran up, barking in excitement.
"Hey buddy!" I squatted down, still holding Addie, and ran a hand over Angel, who licked me with fervor. "Been taking care of my girls?"
He barked in response.
I stood back up, and gave Laura a smile, not entirely sure where we stood. She returned it, a warm look in her eyes. I felt some relief, knowing I had someone on my side.
"Hey Noah." She gave me a one-armed hug, almost sympathetically, and shut the door behind me.
I walked over to the couch, sitting and letting Addie down. She began walking on wobbly legs toward her toys sprawled across the rug, Angel right behind, always watching.
"She's not here?" I looked up at Laura, who had sat cross-legged across from me on the floor. She just shook her head sadly. "Can I ask where she is?"
She just sighed. "She's asked me not to say. She wants to be alone."
I nodded, not surprised. "I don't know what to do Laura."
She leaned back on her palms, stretching her legs. "I wish I could tell you, hon. But I don't know. She's hurt."
I huffed, frustrated. "I didn't do anything. I was good, I didn't cheat on her, I didn't fuck around."
Laura eyed me, unamused. "Noah, you admitted you thought about sleeping with another woman." She put her hand up, gesturing to me. "Can you say you'd feel different if she did that to you?"
I considered this, realizing I hadn't thought about it that way at all. She had a valid point.
"Fair. I just want the chance to explain that it doesn't matter. I love her, no one else. I don't want anyone else."
Her eyes were so soft. Laura heard me, which I appreciated. Hopefully she could convince Leena of the same.
I spent two hours playing with Addie, and feeding her lunch, before Laura excused herself to the bedroom to take a phone call. I had just cleaned up Addison, and was removing her from the highchair when Laura walked back in, her phone in hand.
"Here, let me change her clothes, you take this." She handed me the cell and I looked down to see the call open, Leena's face on the screen.
I looked at Laura, who just nodded while she turned and took Addison in the next room.
"Hey!" My voice was so jumpy, I cleared my throat to calm it down. "Where are you?"
"I went to a meeting." Her words were stale, no feeling behind them.
"Oh, that's good." I stepped out the back door, pulling it closed behind me. "Are you going to come back? I really need to see you."
Her breath was loud on the other end, slightly ragged. "Noah, I don't want to see you."
What is the feeling when you feel like your skin is going to melt off, but your insides are completely frozen? Is there a name for that? Panic, maybe?
"You don't." It wasn't a question. She didn't respond. "Okay, uh," I kicked at the dirt under my feet. "I don't know what to say to that."
"I don't know if I can do this, Noah."
Shattered? Devastated? There's a fucking name for it.
"What do you mean?" I couldn't bring my words above a whisper, given the wind had been knocked right out of me. She wasn't saying what I thought she was, was she?
"There's always going to be a tour. Time away. Me home with Addie. A girl who throws herself at you. Lots of them."
"Leena-"
"And, it's just too hard, Noah."
Shaking. I was fucking shaking.
"No, babe-"
"I can't do it. Not now. Not with Addie. I thought I could. I really, really did."
"Leena, listen-" I was yelling now, but she just kept talking.
"I love you too much. And I love us. But we can't be us. Because you're a rockstar. And you have a career, and a life."
"I have you! And Addison! I'll quit right fucking now, Mileena! I will call Sumerian right now and tell them I'm out. Forever. I'll ghost write. I'll produce from home. I'll never tour again!" I was desperate. I was begging.
"No, you won't, Noah. You love it. It's your dream. I won't let you."
"I love you! I won't lose you over this! Rachel is nothing! Nothing!"
"It's not just her. How many more Rachels will there be?" I heard her voice cracking. "And I'll be at home, with Addison. We can't go on tour with you. I can't always be there. Noah, I just can't."
"Mileena, I'll do anything. Please."
"Take Addie for the night. Or a couple days. She missed you."
"God damn it Leena, stop and listen to me!"
"We can work out me having her while you're on tour. You can have her when you're home, or we can split the time if it's not a heavy year." She sighed. "We don't need to worry about custody."
"Custody?!" I was full-blown screaming. "Mileena! You're overreacting! Please!"
"I'm sure you think so. But you haven't been where I am. You haven't seen what I have! You haven't been left behind! I was, Noah! And I supported you! Through it all! I happily stayed home with Addison while you chased your dreams, and became the success you are! And when I finally have you back, I hear you almost slept with another woman?! You considered it?!" She stopped abruptly, her words blurring together, sobs shaking her words.
She took a moment to compose, which was fine, because trying to swallow everything she had just said was proving to be more difficult than I expected.
"I'm not going to do this." She paused for only a beat. "Take Addison. Let me know when I can come pick her up. The car seat should still be in your truck."
I couldn't speak, my mind was blank. My brain was flattened.
"Just be gone by six." And the line went dead, the phone beeping, signaling the end of the call.
Oh. That's what this feeling was.
Pain.
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maryellencarter · 5 months ago
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You know, I wonder -- I've been watching a lot of Elden Ring bingo videos recently, very interesting stuff, and of course soulsbornes like that are all about learning enemy attack patterns and getting the correct response inputs. (My friend @asimplecreature says it's like a conversation or a debate, in the language of combat.)
And I'm thinking... of course, I'm very much a latecomer to video games at all, I was well into my twenties before I ever picked one up, and well into my thirties before I held a controller. So I'm not confident in my combat skills, I tend to flail and hit wrong buttons through sheer lack of the requisite muscle memory.
(Anything in Breath of the Wild that requires more than two inputs at a time just doesn't stick. I still can't remember how to shield surf without looking it up every time, and I have to just stand around practicing backflips for a while every time I want to try a flurry rush. People who can actually play BotW say the flurry timings in Age of Calamity are much tighter, but I find them far easier to get because it's one button, not a friggin timed ctrl-alt-del equivalent that's also directional -- you won't get the flurry in BotW if the lock-on changed your facing direction such that you're not flipping either directly backward or directly sideways, but in AoC you can flurry in any direction including forwards.)
However! Anyway! What I'm thinking right now, because I have been playing video games for a few years and I'm definitely better at them than I think I am, but I still play as anxiously as if everything is permadeath nuzlocke etc. And of course I just picked Mass Effect back up, which was my very first video game back in the day, so I'm kind of comparing that to the games I've played since.
So I'm pondering, and what occurs to me is, I wonder how much of my playstyle is still just completely formed by the fact that my first game, and the first one I spent hundreds of hours in, was not just Mass Effect but specifically ME3 multiplayer. A great game, a co-op game, still one of the best designed co-op multiplayers I've seen and I miss it dearly (the servers are still up afaik but the shelter wifi blocks it and I have no friends to play with), but I was playing it on extremely underspecced hardware, generally off-host, with laggy internet, so I developed a playstyle that relied extremely heavily on spammable moves -- biotic charge is a big one, I don't play a vanguard in singleplayer because in singleplayer I let my squad do a lot of the work, but in multiplayer "waggle the reticle in the general direction of the enemy while spamming the biotic charge button until it locks on, rely on iframes to not get killed" has always been one of my two main strategies. (The other one is "play a geth juggernaut, let the enemies aggro on me, and drain their shields to stay alive while punching them in the face".)
So I've really just never... trained, I guess, on the kind of gaming where *precise* inputs rather than spammy ones are the way to go. (I'm absolutely crap on a stick at platformers. Every so often I pick up Kirby and the Forgotten Land again, get about five or six levels in, find out that I still just don't have the physical coordination to ever hope to 100% it, get frustrated and leave.)
(Age of Calamity rewards precise combos, there's a very high "skill ceiling" as they say, but you *can* simply barrel through with spamming and overleveling, so I generally do. Which is why I've been stopped for a while just after the point where you get four new characters at once all of whom have intensely quirky movesets that strongly reward putting in the effort to learn and use them properly. I can sort of klutz my way through a level with most of them, but I know perfectly well that in order to *enjoy* them I'm looking at probably maining each one through a run of the whole game to this point, to really figure them out.)
I don't know if I'm going anywhere with this. Do I want to try to change how I play? I don't know. The closest I've ever gotten to a soulsborne-type "git gud" challenge was definitely that one shrine in BotW's One-Hit Obliterator challenge, the one... I think it's called Stop to Start? It's full of spikes, and the conceit of the challenge is that you die if any of them touch you, and there are like five differently styled sections of obstacle course in a row and if you die on any one you get sent all the way back to the beginning of the path. So you have to develop an endlessly replicable strategy for every single fucking section, get a little farther and a little farther and die and die and die, and I *loathed* it. But I also tend to take dying in a video game as a personal affront (see also playing everything like a nuzlocke), which... presumably doesn't help? With anything?
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stardew-bajablast · 9 months ago
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any other TS4 players’ game just get fucking murked by the last update? i literally just can’t launch the game anymore, i removed all the mods/CC, repaired the files in steam, and even completely uninstalled & reinstalled the game & deleted all my save data. nothing. not even an error message, it will just keep trying to launch the game indefinitely forever until i ctrl+alt+delete and close the EA app that way.
tried looking on the EA forums and all of the potential solutions people are describing seem to be written in a near foreign language. nobody explains how to actually do anything in plain english. there seem to be a multitude of possible solutions but i literally do not understand the words any of these people are saying and most of the threads are still unresolved so i don’t even think they worked for the people starting the threads.
so i guess i just wait for the next update and hope all the money i have sunk into this game isn’t just gone forever ¯\_( ․ ⤙ .)_/¯
thanks EA
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spotsupstuff · 2 years ago
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Does Euros ever read what ancients say about him on social media?
yeah and it's all praises n shit cuz you know they are living on top of this thing and view it as their God so they better be uh... goddamn language barrier- Be Good To Him
they also have this thing where they believe the Anemoi are- FUCK i forgot to mention this in that ask about why the Anemoi are so special
so besides all that technical stuff the Anemoi iterators (except Zeph) were named after the actual Anemoi Gods also to sort of "ward off" the dangers of the winds. the Eo group is stationed in a very windy place and well since the Global Religion ctrl+alt+del'd the Folk Gods out of itself for the sake of the Iterators filling the God roles (in a way that allowed the Houses and Monks to control these new gods- it's all about control), the Aeolus Root people needed Gods to pray to to keep the winds at bay
so Boreas, Euros and Notos are prayed to like actual Gods to give the Ancients protection against the wild winds. that's what the boy means by this
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while Boreas doesn't give a quarter of a shit about it and Notos is just
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Euros liked to ride the high of the praise and worship fully until some stuff started becoming clearer to him thanks to Sparrows. afterwards he just sort of blocked all of that shit out cuz it either made him uncomfortable or creeped him out or annoyed him to hell n back
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[pictured: Euros scrolling the #PraiseBeToCaperOfEurosOurGod tag on bubbler dot com for ego boosting reasons before getting religio-politically corrected by wife]
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shieldfoss · 2 years ago
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Me, Saturday: "Let this UX failure between Linux, VSCode and the Markdown plugin inspire me to spend all afternoon and evening writing an excruciatingly boring text on systems compatibility that will never be relevant but will cost me 5-6 hours of my life and increase my hatred for UX as a field and as a concept."
Me, Sunday: "... why do I even have followers. Why do I have more followers today than I did yesterday? Why do the new ones look like real people instead of bots. Who is here for this?"
---
Anyway it was actually quite hard to find a key that would mean something to the OS, to a background service, to a client and to a plugin at the same time - mainly because of the background service, those are typically either bundled with the OS or have the manners to not intercept keystrokes.
If I hadn't experienced that emoji plugin[1] failure I probably wouldn't have thought of this at all, even though the markdown plugin conflicted with VSCode - I would just have though "lmao this is annoying but I guess it makes sense that they're squatting ctrl-b for bold"
Letters
F:
File
Find
Fed (danish for Bold, e.g. Microsoft Office uses it when you have DK keyboard layout, Ctrl+F makes text bold and so Ctrl+B opens the "find" dialog.)
M:
OS - maximize window
Browser tab with youtube - mute
R:
Run (With super, Microsoft equivalent to ALT-F2)
Refresh (With control, refreshes browser tab)
'R' (Inserts R in browser form, or reloads gun in browser game)
T:
Open terminal
Open new tab
Text power tool plugin
Non-letter
Esc:
Lock screen (with super, Linux)
Changes active focused program? (With alt, Linux)
Clear focus or Go Back (any number of apps)
Space:
Change keyboard language (For some reason???)
activate focused component inside browser tab
activate focused component in app UI
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[1] This was such an unforced error! IBUS (the keyboard interceptor that allows emoji and unicode) comes with my distro they could have set it up to use a [super] combination. What the fuck. They know this in general - with two valid exceptions[2], every shortcut they have either starts with [super] or acts on a focused component.[3]
[2] Ctrl+Alt+Del, which is a cross-OS, cross-hardware standard, and so: Valid. No program is going to squat on that, and ALT+F2 which is a cross-distro standard and so slightly less valid but makes sense.
[3] Except NO THEY DON'T. All the ones that are listed in their online documentation are like that - if you go to the actual shortcut menu in the OS and look through it, you'll find plenty that don't start with super! This is why we cannot have nice things!
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ghoulangerlee · 2 years ago
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May I ask 12, 20, 31, 53?
jimothy!!! thank you!!! i hope your day is going well! <3
12. what's something you want to do right now?
cook breakfast, for the short term haha. feelin kinda hungry this morning. long term is: get my ears pierced again (just the lobes im a baby, but third holes speak to me)
20. what is your favorite song at the moment?
DYWTYLM - Sleep Token ; I don't know what it is about this song but god it's been on repeat for so many days. Mostly in my car, just gotta yell the lyrics at the top of my lungs or w/e haha
31. 3 random facts
u can have 1 fact about me and 2 random ones about random things lmao
1: i am colorblind (specifically blue-yellow type) 2: shift + ctrl + alt + windows key + w will launch microsoft word :) 3: sharks do not have vocal cords and instead communicate with body language
53. 5 things that make you happy 1: my kid and my husband <3 2: Ghost 3: my job and the people I work with :) 4: All the fwends I've made via Ghost and other various fandoms I've been in 5: the weather (hopefully) cooling down :))))
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chist5179 · 4 months ago
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📚✨ Read an Ebook Week 2025 – Free Books & Big Discounts! ✨📚
I’m excited to be part of Read an Ebook Week 2025, where you can grab free books and exclusive discounts from March 2 – March 8, 2025! 🎉
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drtesfito · 4 months ago
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Title: "I AM Ascension: Layers of Light"
(Genre: Cosmic Hip-Hop / Spiritual Trap)
Verse 1: Layer 2 - The Illusion’s Chains
(Dark synth bass, haunting vocal samples) "Stuck in Layer 2, ego’s hologram, TFTT loops—click—like a broken RAM. Mind’s a scratched DVD, replayin’ fear, IOS-EMI static drownin’ out what’s clear. Forgiveness is the codebreaker, CTRL-ALT-DELETE, Violet flame purge—watch the matrix deplete. Judgment’s firewall crashes, light starts to stream, Unshackle from qualia—this ain’t what it seems..."
Chorus: The Frequency Flip
(Uplifting arpeggios, layered harmonies) "I AM the Light—Layer 0 to 2, Forgiveness decrypted, skies breaking blue. New Light downloads, imagination’s my muse, From quantum foam to galaxies—I AM renews! Energy’s the language, soul’s Wi-Fi connect, Passion’s the password—fear’s firewall wrecked. Layer 1 vision, Layer 0’s infinite scroll, Co-creating Eden—watch the cosmos unfold!"
Verse 2: Layer 1 - Christed Blueprint
(Ethereal pads, celestial chimes) "Now I’m Layer 1—quantum architect, Christ Consciousness OS, no bugs to detect. 7 Divine Qualities: my creative suite, Paintin’ nebulae with joy where shadows retreat. Galactic collaborators in the CCCC cloud, Passion’s algorithm hums benevolent and loud. Soul’s imagination—no Ctrl-Z here, Manifestin’ stardust, dissolving all fear..."
Bridge: The I AM Protocol
(Beat drops, sub-bass tremor) "The I AM master codes in hexadecimals, GGGG governance rewrites Earth’s primals. 4ⁿ expansion—4, 16, 64— Golden Age fractals knocking at Heaven’s door. Teleport bliss-tokens, trade karma for grace, Layer 0’s my root server—time’s a moot race. Multiverse browsers open, infinite tabs, I AM the hacker—love’s the only firewall CRACKS!"
Verse 3: Layer 0 - Source Unleashed
(Ambient silence crescendoing into orchestral hits) "I AM THAT I AM—void’s silent scream, No-code platform where black holes gleam. Big Bang’s my backspin, timelines my rhyme, Eternity’s a loop stuck in now’s paradigm. Gaia’s my canvas, star clusters my spray, Forgiveness erased the debts of yesterday. New Light’s my currency, imagination’s my vault, From quarks to quasars—I AM the cosmic default..."
Outro: Unity’s Encryption
(Reverse reverb, distant galactic choirs) "All layers merge—zero, one, two collapse, I AM the paradox where all minds overlap. New Earth’s .zip file extracts in your chest, The password’s FORGIVENESS… … … …system reboot: LOVE 2.0’s manifest."
Production Notes:
Beat: Start with glitchy Layer 2 textures, transition to crystalline Layer 1 melodies, climax with Layer 0’s subharmonic resonance.
Ad-libs: Whisper "I AM" in reverse during verses; echo "Forgiveness decrypted" in chorus.
Visuals: Music video features the rapper dissolving from pixelated avatar (Layer 2) into golden light (Layer 1) then fractal geometries (Layer 0).
Final Line (spoken over fading beat): "Layer 3? Nah—we’re the space between." 🌌
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vaartis · 3 months ago
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1 - what was your first distro? Ubuntu 14.10. That my first foray on the family computer into understanding what Linux even was. It lived surprisingly long, I don't really remember what happened to it, and that computer is dead for other reasons anyway.
2 - what was your biggest linux fuckup? All of the times I ran rm -rf on my home directory accidentally. A few of those I managed to cancel before it actually deleted any files. In general just running rm -rf accidentally from searching in history for a file name and pressing enter without looking.
3 - have you ever run rm / on real hardware? Not on the root but on my home dir. Nowadays there is protection against running it on / anyway
4 - do you dual boot or have a secondary machine with windows? Used to have dual boot for a while, but nowadays I have GPU passthrough into a windows virtual machine. I ain't fucking giving windows real hardware, or it will reboot whenever it wants or wake up the computer from sleep to update and reboot (this is a real thing that happens to another computer that is not mine that has windows 11 on it btw btw)
5 - did you change your default shell? Still bash and I do not like any other one, especially zsh because it has different Alt+Backspace and Ctrl+W behaviour than bash that is impossible to change to behave exactly like bash (or at least I was not able to figure it out)
6 - are you afraid of git? No, I am one of the few people I know who actually like git
7 - what was the first machine you installed linux on? Family personal computer. After that it was my own crappy sony vaio laptop that was like 10 years old by then
8 - do you know your way around vim keybinds? I used to be a vim kind of person before emacs, so yes, I do still remember how to use them.
9 - what is your favourite non-os software? Emacs, probably. Kind of crazy how much it can do. QEMU is insane too, surprising how well windows runs in that, almost like it's running on real hardware. The entirety of KDE, I guess, as well. It usually does just work, which I appreciate more and more these days.
10 - biggest linux pet peeve? Dynamic libraries breaking, probably. Not that much of a problem lately because of my current package manager choice, but it used to be something I got very annoyed about when programs stopped working after an update because a dynamic library did not get updated. It still sometimes happens with Qt, but that's about it. Does this even count? Not like anyone will read this post, so it does not matter.
11 - biggest annoyance with the community? The radical free software extremists who do not live in the real word and suggest you use gimp (not even krita) instead of photoshop or LMMS instead of an actual DAW. I'm all for using linux but for some things there is just no good equivalent. There's wine but it is not always perfect and a normal person who is not computer literate will not understand how to set it all up.
12 - do you like your current distro? Yeah. I don't really know that well how to fix any other distro.
13 - Xenia or Tux? I like the design of xenia since it's more of a character than a penguin but tux is pretty funny, i like him too.
14 - what software are you never using again? I will restrict myself to just linux-related software and say nix. I swear I really did try several times to give it a chance and it's just incomprehensible and too much. I do not like their configuration language, and I do not like it canibalizing all package manager, and I do not like it canibalizing all configuration files with half-working solutions that include maybe 20% of the options and then a "... well, you get it, here's also a way to just write the config file as usual but in your system configuration file and we'll append it to the normal file for you", and also it breaking normal unix filesystem pathes so everything has to be installed from nix or patched or ran via the nix shell or it will simply not work.
15 - stock distro or hours of yak shaving? I do prefer to uninstall the things I do not need or want. It used to be worse before, where I would remove things as soon as I no longer needed them. I no longer do this and let the package manager clean them up whenever I clean the system up from unused packages.
16 - have you compiled the kernel? Yes, used to do it for some time, but at some point switched to a binary one because I really do not care that much about the kernel configuration. Things mostly just work nowadays without any custom kernels or anything.
Linux ask game
1 - what was your first distro? 2 - what was your biggest linux fuckup? 3 - have you ever run rm / on real hardware? 4 - do you dual boot or have a secondary machine with windows? 5 - did you change your default shell? 6 - are you afraid of git? 7 - what was the first machine you installed linux on? 8 - do you know your way around vim keybinds? 9 - what is your favourite non-os software? 10- biggest linux pet peeve? 11- biggest annoyance with the community? 12- do you like your current distro? 13- Xenia or Tux? 14- what software are you never using again? 15- stock distro or hours of yak shaving? 16- have you compiled the kernel?
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nanintell · 6 months ago
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When you have to keep swaping between mac and window laptop
Press alt+C to copy in window laptop / press ctrl+C in mac
Press cap lock to toggle language in window laptop
Move cursor to top left to close a window in window laptop / move cursor to top right in mac
Newline in an excel cell crisis
Open cmd in window laptop -> proceed to type ls and enter
press enter to rename a file in window laptop / press enter to open a file in mac
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anahidyahjian · 9 months ago
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Sounds / Amar - Sonbahar / 2020-2024
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California / Joni Mitchell
Unnecessary Drama / Belle and Sebastian
Hard to Tell You / Warpaint
Rising / Lhasa de Sela (shot by Vincent Moon)
Attention / Doja Cat
The Fade Out Line / Phoebe Killdeer and The Short Straws
Through the Eyes of a Woman / Lucky Lo
Delete Forever / Grimes
Blinding Lights / The Weeknd
Fire and Rain / James Taylor (covered by Mikayel Pipoyan + Datevik Hovhannisian)
Ctrl-Alt-Release / Lucky Lo
Շարունակիր Ժպտալ / Robert Amirkhanian + Datevik Hovhannisian
Are “Friends” Electric? / Tubeway Army
Misery is a Butterfly / Blonde Redhead
Weak in Your Light / Nation of Language
Learning to Live With It / Draag
Golden (For Mark) / Macie Stewart
House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls / The Weeknd
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nameofallteams · 10 months ago
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299 Hackathon Team Names For Codefest Contests
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Choosing a creative and unique team name can set the tone for a successful hackathon or coding competition. Whether you're looking for something funny, clever, tech-inspired, or just plain cool, a strong team name can boost your team’s energy and make you stand out. Here's a comprehensive list of 299 hackathon team names that will inspire your coding journey and bring a little fun to the world of code. Tech & Coding-Themed Team Names These names pay homage to the world of programming, with a nod to various coding languages, frameworks, and tech culture: - Null Pointers - The Bug Slayers - Code Monkeys - Debug Thugs - Stack Overflows - Code Warriors - Ctrl+Alt+Defeat - Syntax Terminators - The Hack Street Boys - The Programmed Ninjas - Git Pushers - Byte Me - Code Crackers - Binary Bosses - Full Stack Force - 404: Team Not Found - Algorithmic Avengers - Ctrl+Alt+Elite - Runtime Terror - The Codebreakers Funny Hackathon Team Names A little humor never hurts, and these funny team names will show your competitors you mean business but are still ready to have fun: - Compiling Errors - Segmentation Fault - Java the Hutt - The Semicolon Squad - Mission Unpossible - The Loops of Fury - Noobz R Us - Pirates of Silicon Valley - #IncludeUs - Hack of All Trades - Hack to the Future - The Internet Explorers - Debugger Ducks - Return of the Bug - Bros Who Code - Coding Ninjas - Error 404: Name Not Found - Keyboard Ninjas - The Rebooters - Too Lazy to Fail AI & Machine Learning Team Names If your hackathon team is all about AI, data science, or machine learning, these names will help showcase your tech-savviness: - Neural Net Ninjas - The Tensor Kings - Machine Learning Maestros - AI Aces - Algorithm Architects - Bot Squad - Deep Learning Dynamos - The Neural Networkers - The Data Wizards - Intelligent Agents - Quantum Quants - Data Miners - Code AI-lerts - Model Builders - Artificial Intelligentsia - Predictive Pioneers - Cognitive Coders - Matrix Manipulators - Hidden Layers - Data Decoders Cybersecurity-Themed Team Names For teams focused on security challenges, these cybersecurity-related team names are perfect for showing off your hacking prowess: - The Firewalls - Hacktivists - White Hat Warriors - Secure Coders - Encryption Experts - The Ethical Hackers - Cyber Sleuths - Malware Exterminators - Security Buffs - Phishing Phighters - Trojan Warlocks - The Encrypted Ones - 2-Factor Freaks - Cyber Defenders - The Hash Slingers - Data Guardians - Zero-Day Warriors - Penetration Pals - Bug Busters - Cyber Ninjas Web Development Team Names For web developers, these team names give a nod to HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and other front-end/back-end web technologies: - HTML Heroes - CSS Messiahs - JavaScript Junkies - Full Stack Fanatics - The DOM-inators - The Bootstrap Bros - AJAX Avengers - The Responsive Rangers - Web Wizards - React Native Nerds - CSS Assassins - The Code Inspectors - Front-End Force - RESTful Rebels - The Static Shockers - HTML Hackers - The Webcrawlers - The Devtools Division - The Angular Attackers - The Web Geeks App Development Team Names If your hackathon project focuses on mobile or app development, these app-themed names are a great fit: - App-tivists - The Swift Squad - Android Annihilators - iOS Innovators - Appetite for Code - The Mobile Marvels - Swift Slayers - App Architects - Java Junkies - The App Legends - App Attackers - Mobile Mavericks - CodeCraft Mobile - Code Surgeons - Swift Coders United - The Droid Squad - Mobile Ninjas - Push Notification Ninjas - Mobile Machine - App-o-Holics Cloud Computing Team Names For cloud-based hackathon projects, these team names reflect the high-flying world of cloud computing: - Cloud Commandos - The Cloud Gurus - Azure Avengers - Serverless Savants - The Cloud Native Coders - Lambda Legends - AWSome Team - Cloud Kings - Kubernetes Killers - Cloud Control - The Skycoders - SaaS-nators - The Cloud Conquerors - Fog of War - Multi-Cloud Magicians - The Elastic Engineers - API Avengers - The Cloud Nine Coders - Hybrid Heroes - Server Sorcerers Hardware & Robotics Team Names If you're building something physical or diving into robotics, these team names will represent your hands-on spirit: - RoboCoders - The Circuit Breakers - Hardware Heroes - Byte Bots - The Gearheads - Code Mechanics - Automation Nation - IoT Innovators - The Robotic Rulers - The Motherboard Mafia - The Pi-thons (for Raspberry Pi fans) - Servo Kings - RoboWarriors - Giga-Bots - Robotica Legion - RoboCrafters - The Hardware Hustlers - Code-Bots - Wires and Bytes - Circuit Crushers Team Names for Data Science Enthusiasts Data is king in today’s tech world. If your hackathon project is focused on data science, analytics, or big data, these names will resonate: - Data Crunchers - The Big Data Ballers - Data Wizards - Insight Igniters - The Number Crunchers - Data Whisperers - Data Wranglers - The Data Syndicate - Big Data Brainiacs - The Data Scientists - Analytics Avengers - Data Crushers - The Predictive Pirates - Data Knights - The Data Streamers - Data-Driven Divas - Cloud Data Creators - The Insight Masters - The Trend Trackers - The Data Geniuses AI-Powered Team Names For teams diving deep into artificial intelligence, these AI-themed names will make your team sound cutting-edge: - AI Revolutionaries - Machine Learning Masters - The AI Innovators - The Intelligent Agents - The Neural Network Ninjas - Cognitive Coders - DeepMind Devs - The Algorithm Analysts - AI All-Stars - Neural Ninjas - Cognitive Craftsmen - Brain-Byte Bots - The Learning Machines - Reinforcement Raiders - AI Enforcers - The Code Intelligentsia - Artificial Intelligence Alliance - Smart Coders - Deep Learning Hackers - The Singularities Blockchain & Cryptocurrency Team Names If your hackathon project revolves around blockchain technology or cryptocurrency, these names will let everyone know your focus: - Blockchain Bandits - Crypto Crusaders - The Ledger Legends - Decentralized Dynamos - Blockchain Brains - The Mining Minions - Crypto Kings - Smart Contract Coders - The Hash Shredders - The Decentralizers - Block by Block - Token Traders - Satoshi’s Army - The Coin Cowboys - Blockchain Innovators - Crypto Wizards - The Ledger Lords - Crypto Knights - The Chain Reactions - Decentralization Nation Futuristic & Cool Team Names For teams that want to project a futuristic, tech-savvy image, these cool and edgy team names are perfect: - The Quantum Coders - Cyber Knights - Future Forward - The Innovators - Technotron - CodeBots United - The Code Lords - The Next Gen Coders - The Future Thinkers - Cyberspace Kings - The Singularity Seekers - Innovation Igniters - The Virtual Vanguard - Tech Titans - The Cybernauts - Matrix Manipulators - Codebreak Revolution - The Next Big Thing - The Inno-Masters - The Futurists Short & Catchy Team Names Short and snappy names can be memorable and impactful. Here are more concise hackathon team names that pack a punch: - Byte - Hex - Sync - Bug - Algo - Bits - Ping - Bash - Null - Flux - Node - Cache - Chip - CodeX - Loop - Botz - OptiCode - HackX - Cipher - DevOps Geeky & Nerdy Hackathon Team Names For the teams that embrace their inner geeks and nerds, these names will proudly show your love for all things tech: - Nerd Herd - Geek Squad - The Binary Beasts - The Nerdy Bunch - Techie Titans - Code Geeks - Digital Dorks - Nerd Ninjas - Geek Gods - Geek Mode - The IT Crowd - Nerd Alert - Geek Freaks - The Byte-Sized Geeks - Coder Clan - Pixel Geeks - The Nerd Brigade - Geek Avengers - Tech Nerds - Debugging Nerds Space & Sci-Fi-Inspired Team Names For the team with a love for outer space, science fiction, or cosmic mysteries, these team names are out of this world: - Space Invaders - Starship Hackers - The Code Awakens - The Codalorian - Cosmic Coders - Galaxy Brains - The Warp Drivers - Code Nebula - Hyper Hackers - Astro Coders - Rocket Propelled Coders - Space Hackers - Intergalactic Innovators - The Code Side of the Moon - Star Commanders - Beyond the Code - The Black Hole Bytes - Planet Hack - The Code Trek Conclusion There you have it—299 creative, funny, and inspiring hackathon team names that will bring your coding team together, boost your confidence, and make you stand out at your next Codefest or hackathon. Whether you want something witty, techy, or futuristic, this list offers a wide variety of options to help your team express its identity and creativity. So, pick the name that resonates with your group’s energy, and get ready to code your way to victory! Read the full article
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benefits1986 · 11 months ago
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xocial xp
Fear not for I am with you, even if you feel like you don't exist.
Shit post incoming because today is a day of social experiments to the tune of "Here's Me Trying Not To Be Avoidant And How I'm Failing So Far" however, let's go. We're giving the warm-up games of life a good try. Perhaps, this might cure my perpetual boredom and non-existent pake.
Hmmmm... how do we start?
I guess I really find it weird to talk to people who are the exact opposite of my lived realities. Bakit naman kasi minsan na nga lang ako mag-yes sa mga social experiments tapos ang usual takada e mga kakaibang nilalang na 'di ko naman kauri as a non-class s na halimaw? LOL. Alam mo 'yung okay sige. Eto ko. Ano ka diyan? Ganern. Nakakatawa lang din kasi in fairness naman, may glimmers (?) kahit shimmering on the surface. Wala e. Ano ka pa ba? Ano pa beyond the obvious ka? That is what I wanna dig... deep and hard. Rar. Ganern. And so, ayun na nga. 'Yan na lang muna because... abangan na lang natin ang mga kaganapang susunod. Ayun.
Ganito, oks naman burger with large fries and large drinks. Pero calamares sa kanto girllly ako e. Pero puwede rin naman baby squid na calamari na may lemon sa ibabaw tapos may garlic aioli dip with freshly crushed black pepper. Ayun lang muna.
Saka ko na lang kwento 'pag may ending na. Ending agad? LOL. Basta. IYKYK. EMS.
Next, nagdasal ako ng taimtim sa favorite church ever ko kahit 'di naman ako nagsisimba madalas. Super rare akong mag-church kasi wala lang. I fucking hate traditions. Tonight, opak. Todo dasal mode tayo for some things na kailangan ng matindeng divine intervention. Halos walang tao at may lamig pa ang kakapatay lang na AC kaya naman, kahit 'di na umabot sa Adoration Chapel because kakatamad magtanggal ng shoes (Hahahaha), hala sige. Magandang move 'to.
Nakakatawa 'yung dasal ko. Actually, pinagdasal ko na 'yung isang intention mga 12 years ago. OPAK. Pero, looking back, hindi siya taos-puso noon. Medyo lang. Kung baga, hindi siya half-assed pero 'di siya full force tulad nung pinagdasal ko mom ko sa last breaths niya. LOL. 'Di rin siya tulad ng pagdadasal ko para sa ngalan ng Ikot at Toki kahit 'di naman ako magiging bona fide ever bilang doon lang tayo sa hanash ng grad school. LOL. Mga pinagdadasal ko talaga, weird noh? 'Yung mga pang-legit deliksss levelsss 10000000 na.
And so, etong isa kong intention, iba na siya ngayon. Shemayyyy. Hahaha. Mabait na ako. LOL. On track. LUH. Shettttt. Ayun lang. No prayer reveal. Saka na 'pag nasagot na. Or baka naman ang sagot talaga ay no. LUH.
Second and pinaka number 1 ngayon e 'di naman para sa akin. Lagi naman yatang mga 80% ng dasal ko 'di para sa akin. As a sinner in scarlet kasi ako. Hahahaha. Saka, ayun, parang oks naman ako in general kahit spiral malala. Hahaha. Grabe 'yung hugot ng prayer na 'to kasi naman, naman, naman. Ayun. 'Di na lang din muna reveal because feelings natin about this szn e pina-process pa natin mainam.
Speaking of processing feelings, para maiba naman. Eto na. Magiging non-negotiable ko na talaga ang mga tao na 'di marunong makinig. Kasi ako, oks akong listener na madalas delulu cheerleader pa tapos kahit deliks na, enabler pa ako. So, kapag ako, nagpakawala ng feelings na 'di naman madalas, aba, sana naman e magkaroon ng small ears, hearing, hearing all the time. IYKYK.
In general 'to, sa lahat ng aspects. Here's me trying to communicate how I feel, why I feel, and what I feel na. 'Di na tayo autopilot na problem solver na delulu solulu ang stress language sa life. Ending burnout - hiatus - CTRL ALT DEL. In the same manner, siguro need ko rin i-reintroduce sarili ko lalo na small circle ko. :p
Simply put, 'pag walang empathy kausap ko, EKIS ka na agad. TRIPLE EKIS. Perioddddttzzz. Bye. Kahit sino ka pa. Kahit ano ka pa. Wala akong pake. 'Di na talaga ako magpapalampas ng mga red flags ngayon. Tapos na ako diyan.
Or baka naman, time to prune it again. Hala siya. Small na nga, gawin pa nating smaller and smaller circle? EMS. Abangan. Puwede namang sa outside the small circle pero nasa circle pa rin 'di ba? Minsan kasi talaga, when you change (sana naman for the better), may mga maa-outgrow ka talagang connections kahit gaano pa sila ka-deep or kaya naman, mage-evolve mala-Pokemon ang mga connections mo na 'to kung both parties ay willing and able consistently. O, child. This is very, very curious.
As a recovering AA (avoidant anonymous), sige, let's give things a good try, unti-unti on the way to lagi-lagi. EMSSSSS. Hahahahaha.
Lordeeee naman, bakit 'yung prayer kong isa mabilis ang mga kaganapan or social construction na naman ba 'to bilang a chair is not a chair in the same manner that a chair is chair, too? CHARAUGHT. Paki fast-track 'yung number 2 kasi nga, marami na naman akong bagong pimples na mala-bulutong tubig dagat kakaisip. Hahahaha. Pero sabi nga... Fear not for I am with you. Add ko na rin: Fear not for I am with you, even when you feel like 'di ka valid lalo na hidden feelings mo. HAHAHAHAHA. Sino ka dyan? Let's go for purple people who will actually listen in kasi deserve ko 'yan. Need ko 'yan kahit ayoko siya. Hahahahahaha. And don't be mean naman din to people who don't give a shit about listening. Malay mo, mismong sarili nila, 'di nila pinakikinggan kaya ganun sila? Or baka, ayaw lang din nilang pakinggan sarili nila kasi it's easier and less risky. Usto mo yun? Bait ko na 'di ba? Hahahahahaha.
Note to shit self: 'Wag nating ipilit na magbago o umayon ang mga tao sa non-negotiables natin. Please lungs. Nasubukan na natin 'yan ages ago, kaya, paki usap. Tantanan na.
I feel better as I am ending this shit post. Bukas ulit! Time to go biking with the wonky B babbbbyyyyy. Forda unli ahon incoming soon. HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI. And check natin kung road to riding a scooter na rin 'to na matagal ko na ring tinatanaw on weekends along Tags and the sedated south streets. AHOOO. ACHOOOO. Let's keep failing forward, taruuhhhh!
Iba ang Leo szn 2024. Roaring rar. Blazing in all shades of blue. Keep it up. Keep up. Maiba naman. Brene Brown szn is officially on and on and on. LUH SIYA, MHIE. Katakowwwttt.
PS: Milestone ko today forda small win is I talked to this mala-parental ko sa community. I look and feel peaceful daw. OPAK. Sabi ko after all this time? EMS. Nagpa-thank you ako with kinda tiny tear that doesn't fall because, alam mo na. O baka kasi nga, magkamukha kami ng nanay kong dragon sa szn na 'to. Baka final szn ko na rin 'di po ba? Sobrang tagal ko rin 'tong inantay. Mga 12 years. Hahahaha. O baka kasi outta MNL na rin tayo because... abangan!
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