#crying on the inside because I want to write another xiao fic to prepare for rolls but I'm actually so swamped with work rn

[mrpenguinpants]

OMG wait, I do have an idea—

Keqing going through a retirement of a company that basically raised her and taught her many stuff, telling the guys about it, and them dragging her to a day in order to get over it

They wind up in a convenience store and a song that the company used to comfort her once plays, she sings along and Diluc is just like “Let’s go get some snacks while she cries it out” (directed to Zhongli), Kaeya is silent because he doesn’t feel like being cheerful anymore, and after like the chorus, him and Childe sing along with beers as their mics. The store owner comes to them and yells at how they’re scaring off customers and Kaeya is like “You know what, fuck you!”, Childe follows up with “No one’s here besides us anyway!”, and Keqing just loses it and joins in the slander being like “Yeah, we can do whatever we want, fuck off!”

Diluc aggresively swipes his card and tries to get them out of the store as quickly as possible and Zhongli is like genuinely impressed. They spend the whole day by her side, making sure that she was okay and happy even for just short whiles.

- keqing harem brainrot anon

In case you may have missed it, I would absolutely write a Keqing/Childe pairing for you^^

GOD. I LOVE IT WHEN I SEE YOU POP UP IN MY INBOX. Please never leave;; Honestly Keqing anon, don’t feel pressured to feel that you can only shoot me a msg whenever you have more harem ideas (but I do love anything you send). If you just wanna chat about anything, I’m completely down^^

I’m always the worst when it comes to replying to people on time but please, don’t take it the wrong way.  Actually you know what, this is my call out post. 

I am shit at replying to people on time. It’s not because I’m ignoring you or I don’t care (I do a lot). Social interaction is just really hard on me plus school is grabbing me by the neck. Everything is due tomorrow WHY IS EVERYTHING DUE TOMORROW. I just wanna see my boy;;

But anyways, CONTENT. I feel like if this was an actual show, this would be those “monster of the week” kinda deals and then something huge happens and everything goes down hill. cries in bsd and dororo

I still haven’t read Keqing’s character story so I’m just gonna headcanon this as actual lore and if it is WOW AM I UPSET. I can just imagine them all having their two brain cell fun and then Keqing get’s a letter and just seems so upset. Everyone is so used to her business, I was not payed enough to deal with this fucking shit *clenches fist*, type attitude that when she seems genuinely upset. No one knows what to do because it’s such whiplash. Zhongli comes in clutch because he both respects Keqing but he also has no social awareness or cues so he asks what’s wrong. Everyone else is emotionally constipated COUGH DILUC AND KAEYA COUGH but gives him the thumbs up. 

I can see Childe being the one to propose the idea, he has younger siblings and even if Keqing is technically maybe older than him (is he? I have no idea) he get’s mad mother hen instincts. Totally the type to simp for his friends. Honestly, I can see this failed harem to be those budget road trip movies haha. But yeah Zhongli has great practical advice even if his words are so metaphorical he sounds like Shakespeare, but in practice the man is horrible. Can spit the facts but can’t make the act. Diluc is...so emotionally constipated that he’s the kinda guy that will give you the most awkward hug you’ve ever felt in your life. Actually feels like he’s trying to liquify your spine. Kaeya is a complete ass and will straight up avoid that situation entirely but pretend he was there the entire time. So the mom role get’s shoved onto Childe. 

Keqing anon, being serious right here. I want covid to end so I can go on 3am adventures down to the convenience store. It really hits different. Who needs to go on a backpack trip around Europe when I can go down to my local 7/11 at waytooearly oclock with the lads. As much as I hate living with roommates it REALLY hits different. 

That mental image of singing along with a song that makes you sad while you cry your eyes out at a convenience store is SUCH A SAD MOOD. If anyone asks me how my mental state is I’m gonna tell them this. Well actually my mental state is “I have at least 5 new updates on my computer but I refuse to shut down or reset my computer to do the update. It’s either the computer forces itself to hard reset or I have these updates for the rest of my life”. Basically I have chronic insomnia and my brainworm posts is when I’ve officially burnt myself out. But getting back on topic (if it isn’t obvious I’m in those brainworm moods rn), rip Diluc man. Has to be the responsible adult when Keqing is out of commission. BUT YES KAEYA IS SUCH THE TYPE TO SAY YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU. JUST FUCK YOU MAN. I stan the kaeya/childe idea that they are actually two brain cell fuckers that vibe together but would never be caught dead next to each other. You know how Chongyun has his like, bursts of adrenaline? That’s how I see Keqing. 

Poor Diluc playing damage control while Zhongli is old grandpa that’s proud of everyone as he drinks his tea out of a juice box. But this is some wholesome stuff keqing anon 💕💕

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ALSO. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT IF YOU SPLIT SCREEN TUMBLR ON YOUR WINDOW ON BROSWER YOU HAVE ALL THE MOBILE FEATURES?? YOU CAN DO SMALL TEXT AND COLOUR TEXT. 

I can’t screenshot it so here is my crappy camera pic. Also be warned, tumblr might accidently kick you out of your draft SO PLEASE SAVE FIRST. I’m always been going on mobile and awkwardly trying to highlight everything to small text. Time re-write my entire response again...