#cringefail mcu movies

[hollowsart]

@rancid-zinnia-onthepatio I need to share this with you, I don't think I ever shared this yet, but like, consider this for an MCU Spider-Man "4" movie:

REAL Quentin Beck comes in later down the line. full black bowlcut and all and is like

"unlike my cringefail dad-- thank HECK he's dead-- I have had to work from scratch to create everything from hand. All the ideas, all the hard work. I did it. With NO help at all. His gadgets he used? Not even his. But if there's one thing I'll do in his footsteps-- is steal the name, Mysterio. By the way-- how do you like my outfit? I made it all myself. (peter says it looks very nice. Quentin responds with a little 'thank you')

Now that he's no longer in the picture, I can do whatever the heck I want without him shooting me down for everything I've ever wanted."

"Get revenge? I'm not here to fight you, Spider-Man. I'm here to THANK you! Good riddance to that whiny manipulative windbag! He was no father!"

"Oh. but I suppose we could have a bit of a fight. After all, I think that's what our little audience here (noting the crowd of civilians watching) is expecting. Let's give them a good ole show, shall we? I'm nothing if not a bit of a showman-- something that old man would never accept!"

ignore the fact there's a little plothole of him not knowing Spider-Man. BUT LISTEN. do you see my vision here?

[starburstdragon]

Guys Who Are Multiple Guys Tournament, Round 2

Peter

Peter Parker (Cringefail version (affectionate)), Peter Parker (Noir version), & Peter Porker (Pig version) are all principal characters in the movie. Also there’s comics with like way more Spider-Men and associated Spider-People but I haven’t read those. Elise might’ve also wanted me to include that MCU movie with the three Spider-Men but I have moved beyond caring about the MCU by this point and if I hadn’t I would just have beef with it so…

Shadow

There are a lot of android clones that are very convinced they are the real Shadow, I think. I never played this game.

[joy-returns-in-the-morning]

Thinking about Marvel movies again... Like yes the movies were bad. So in Ironman 2 I think there's a throwaway visual of a newspaper that claims Ironman has singlehandedly solved the war in the middle east. There is NO WAAAY lmao and really in the first movie too they fail to engage with the situation in Afghanistan in any meaningful way. It's stupid! It's frustrating! It's american military propaganda! But!! I dunno!!! There are some things in the MCU that still just absolutely captivate me. I can't deny it. For Ironman it's like - how do you overcome your past? When you've wasted your whole life being a terrible person can you really turn that around? Can you really do better? But you HAVE to do better. And one can argue he's going about it completely the wrong way (and he is a cringefail loser really), but he IS trying. That's why I like Ironman and not Dr Strange, I think. And for Captain America - oh I love the whole time travel aspect. A guy from the 40s finding himself in the present - isn't that fascinating?! Like he grew up small and dirt poor in the great depression. He had every disease and managed to pull himself through art school. Then he went to war and he couldn't have been older than his late 20s. Well, you wouldn't realize that from the movies. I think about it a lot though. Growing up poor in Brooklyn, that's gotta have an effect on a man. And Loki - he finds out that his entire life is a lie and that by birth he's the very monster his brother and friends were ready to destroy and what do you even DO with that ya know? And they go through so much, Thor and Loki, and at times they are diametrically opposed but they're still BROTHERS and you can't just throw all that love away, all that history and intimancy and they know each other better than anyone, but did they really? Ouuugh it just really gets to me okay? And there are so many interesting things in the mcu and I've daydreamed about it all so so much but the movies just. Ultimately. Do not care. About the same things I do. And that's okay, people rarely do. Care about the same things I do I mean. It's still fun for me to think about. Like it doesn't have to be perfect because the gaps give me room to explore ideas of my own. It gives me space to make it my own, to fill it with my own meanings. So I can excuse a lot of plot holes but even I have my limit. After Endgame I got sick and tired of having to explain away bad plot decisions. Captain America would NOT do that. Thanos is an idiot. Sometimes the premise is just fundamentally flawed. There's no saving it no matter how much I daydream. So I don't really keep up with marvel anymore. But... I still do think about it from time to time. It could have been so interesting.

[orangeispice]

I think my biggest issue with spider-man fanon (not including mcu spider-man since that's a whole other can of worms I don't even want to touch) is portrayal of a lot of the women as really cool badasses with all the braincells.

Like. Sir. No.

For example, MJ's often portrayed in a lot of fanfic as super classy, know-it-all etc.

I feel I'm morally obligated to inform people that Mary Jane canonically starred in a movie with a dude called Lobster Man.

Yes she's a badass.

She's still also cringefail (not as much as Peter though). This is an issue that exists in like all fandoms though.

Also, the constant erasure of Anya and Julia always disappoints me when people write Spider-People fics without them. (Then again, canon's pretty much forgotten they exist lol)

I think I dislike ‘fuck canon fanon rulez’ takes because time after time I see how boring and predictable fanon is and how often it reinforces racism and misogyny etc. in ways canon never did

and I think having to work around canon and with canon to make something new usually ends up pushing people to make something weirder and cooler

[the-woman-upstairs]

The best part of Stephen unironically saying the line “This time it’s going to take more than killing me to kill me” is Christine’s face after he says it.