#coz that is something i care about when making my gifs so to get yelled at about it 5 months later is.... not nice :

[satorudoll]

Gojo saying he hates taking care of brats and then becoming the best dad ever 🤫

💌! anon, you have NO IDEA what that panel of jjk going around was doing to me. Toru literally my cutest hubby ^^

You still remember meeting the grumpy and dork of a seventeen year old manchild when you entered the Jujutsu high's hallways for the very first time.

Your most core memories of him being the ones where he used to accompany you to your part time jobs, to babysit little kids.

While the three year old would be building blocks on the ground in front of you both, Satoru thinking of himself as the sly one would try scooting closer to your side on the couch. Softly grazing your hand and closing his one over it as he'd lean in to whisper something along the lines of,

"Baby, I think this is an amazing time to makeout before this utter nuisance turns his head arou—"

His words being cut off short with the ripping cries of the three year old who'd start to kick his feet and throw all his blocks around in pure anger.

Satoru would heave the loudest sigh,

"Baby please I just need a quick peck plea–"

But you would immediately stand up in panic and lift the child up in your arms, completely falling deaf to your touch deprived boyfriend.

"Satoru I think the baby pooped! " You exclaimed, turning the little boy left and right in the air.

"ew— EW! " Your boyfriend's second signal of disgust getting louder at what you did next, as quick as Satoru was to scrunch his face in disgust, you too were as fast to shove the three year old sobbing boy in your boyfriend's face. Forcing him to hold the baby.

"Hold him tight! I'll be right back with some new nappies and wipes! "

You stormed off, not caring about the way your boyfriend was screaming in pure horror along with the sobbing baby.

"Stop—" He tried to push the baby as far away from his nose as possible, "Stop! I'll actually die if your nasty stuff gets a anywhere on my skin! " He is yelling in pure fear, as if the kid was understanding whatever he was saying.

"Oh my holy lord, Y/n, please get here fast. I don't think I have too much time left! " He is crying out for you as the baby's face gets redder, cheeks puffier and his tiny legs kicking madly in the air the longer he stares at the snowy haired guy's disgusted face. Satoru was shriveling in pure terror by every passing second.

As soon as you enter the room with all the necessary materials Satoru dramatically gasped in relief, as if he just saw Jesus himself walk in to save him from his death.

He watches you and the baby from the couch with his big blue eyes stretched wide in disgust as you are in the process of cleaning the little one up.

"They better pay you a good chunk for that" He continues to comment while continuing to curl himself up in a ball .

You roll your eyes and turn to face Satoru who looked like he was in a Lion's den.

"Why don't to try putting his diaper on? " You ask, holding up the new pair of diaper.

"No! What if that demon has some poop left sticking around his butt! "

You sigh loud, "Toru, I cleaned him well. He is fine."

"But–" He stops, seeing the way your eyes were literally judging him at this point,

"Ugh– fine! But don't cry for me when I get his poop on my hand and die on spot! "

He walks towards you both, stomping and looking all moody and pouty in annoyance. Slumping down and snatching the new diaper from your hand while mumbling a "only coz I love you too much" while still looking annoyed as hell, but you couldn't help the small smile that slips on your face while looking at how he acts no different than the three year old right in front of you.

As the baby stares at Satoru's pouty and moody face who was wondering which side of the diaper was supposed to be in the front, the little boy lets out a hearty giggle.

That catches Satoru's attention.

Satoru raises a brow,

"Oh, So you wanna get along now? " The grown seventeen year old questions, making the baby coo and kick his feet.

Satoru's pout slowly lifts into a smile at that.

"Well, You don't seem like that bad of a guy yourself. Maybe we can get along after all." He shrugs with a smirk.

"watch me babe, I just know well enough how to make these little poopers laugh." He says in confidence and you fold your arms, watching them with a raised brow and big smile.

"Here comes superhero Gojo to save the nakey baby's day! " He lets out, in the most childish playful tone, something you were yet to experience from a 'tough guy' like him up until now.

The baby bursts out in laughter, Your smile turning into a huge grin at the sight

"Superhero Gojo?? Say that again, lemme record it! " You laugh out loud, getting up immediately to look for your cellphone

"Hello? Don't try making fun of me, I'm getting into the charac— "

Oh, the baby loves interrupting the seventeen year old boy's moments for sure.

But this one seemed like straight up hate crime to Satoru,

The baby shoots his pee right at his face.

Your jaw drops down and your eyes go wide in literal shock at the sudden occurrence and you completely freeze on your steps.

As for Satoru,

Boy, he was way too deeply traumatized to move himself right away, Eyes squeezed shut tight he felt like his soul leave his body as all his limbs suddenly became stiff and completely paralyzed.

"Oh my– Satoru— " You were trying so hard not to give up everything and burst in a fit of laughter at the entire scene that unfolded right in front of your eyes.

The baby, however, seemed to be having the best time of his life, giving out the most hearty belly laughter as he finished his work on your boyfriend's face.

"Y/n— i think— I think I'm gonna lose my six eyes— I can't open my eyes—" His hands trying to reach out for you

"Satoru! You are not even trying to open them- let's wash your face!" You immediately put the diaper on the baby yourself before grabbing your boyfriend's hand and guiding his soulless body to the nearest washroom.

As you were saying goodbye to the little boy who was in his mother's arms, you couldn't help but notice how he was staring at Satoru in disgust with his nose scrunched.

You turn to take a glance at Satoru who was holding a tight lipped smile at the boy while waving goodbye. Trying to hard to not humble the baby in front of his mom.

The walk back home that day was quite, none of you really spoke. Satoru looked like he wanted to go back to his room and dive his face straight into the blankets.

You shouldn't be surprised, None of the kids you took care of really got along with Satoru. Most either ended up pulling locks of his hair or throwing their toys at his face. You don't even know why he was still so up about accompanying you every weekend.

You both pause as you finally reach the gates of Jujutsu high,

The awkward silence starting to make you feel bad for what he had to keep going through.

"Did you see how that little clown was looking at me? After I let him pee on my precious face, that too ?!" He finally bursts in utter shock.

"Satoru, I'm sorry.." you sigh, but as much as you felt sad for him you pursed your lips, concealing a laugh.

"You know — My mom always taught me when I was a kid to never befriend your enemies, Look what happened! You just can never be good to anyone these days! This is how people end up walking all over you!" He continued to rant,

as much as you were thinking he wasn't being serious, your boyfriend's tightly knit brows and fuming face told you otherwise.

"Ugh.." He grunts in annoyance before shoving his hands in his pant pockets, looking down, kicking one of the small pebbles on the ground

"This was my last straw.. I never wanna get stuck babysitting a brat ever again" He mumbles in pure annoyance.

It's been ten years since,

the image of the childish dramatic teen still so fresh in your memories, the guy who would always mumble an 'oh god, lets run' or 'another one of satan's poop' whenever you both would be out together and spot kids running in the streets.

A soft smile spreading across your lips as you pull the duvets down at the sudden burst of memories, slowly peeling your eyes open, vision trying to adjust to the big white and beige decorated bedroom.

You get up on your feet when you hear the noise of utensils clanking coming from the kitchen.

Taking small, lazy strides you walk towards the kitchen in your white oversized shirt and fuzzy woolen brown socks.

Rubbing your eyes as you pause on your steps and stare at the scene in front of you at the kitchen.

"Does my Kana like it??" You watch the snowy haired male softly question the two year old who was sat on the marble counter.

The little baby girl nods her chubby face and suddenly clasps both sides of the spoon in her tiny palms, trying to pull back the spoon that Satoru was holding, closer to her mouth, the little baby spoon seemingly containing some yogurt.

Satoru was sitting down the floor on his knees in front of the counter where your little baby was placed, The grown man was in just a pair of his checkered red sweatpants, without even a shirt on in the cold freezing temperature. All his previous scars scattered around his bare skin that ran all the way up to his face still visible well enough, One that you and your baby girl used to cry over when they were in healing process, but grew to love so much now. As you stand there and stare at them your memories took you back again to show the contrast between the once boyish dorky seventeen year old who had now grown up into the man right in front of you.

Satoru was too focused on the little girl to notice your presence, his big blue eyes staring up at the two year old who was swinging her small feet and staring back at her dad with big doe eyes.

"wait– let papa tie up kana's hair or it'll get in your mouth, baby" he smiles, giving her messy white hair that matches his, a gentle stroke. As soon as Satoru stands up, the tiny girl forwards both her hands and starts making grabby hands at the huge man.

"pa– pa! " She coos trying to reach out to him.

"c'mere my little softie" He chuckles, quickly lifting her off the counter and letting her chin fall slump on his bare shoulders, her big glowing eyes finally falls on you while she is sucking onto her thumb messily and almost drooling all over her dad's bare shoulder, Satoru who was busy looking for her little barbie hair tie couldn't seem to care at the moment.

"pa! ma– ! ma wakey !" she immediately points at you in surprise, causing your husband to immediately turn around to face you.

Your lips melt into the softest smile at your little girl's baby voice.

"morning to the best girl " you giggle, walking up to them and landing a big smooch on her forehead.

"morning honey" Your husband throws a wide lazy grin at you, his snowy white hair still tousled and messy, eyes still looking a bit puffy, signaling he too woke up not long ago.

"morning Toru bear " you smile,

he immediately leans in to try kissing you.

You try scooting away,

"Ugh, I haven't brushed yet—" you groan, trying to block his face,

"Neither have I," he shrugs with a boyish grin before stepping forward with your little girl still in his arms, proceeding to snatch a quick peck, which just slowly turns into a little kiss session.

Kana's eyes widen at the scene, and she lifts her small hand up in the air. "me– kana too! ma pa kana too! "

It makes you and Satoru pull away from each other and giggle, You both start smooching the little baby's face together who starts scrunching her nose in response.

"ma pa stink! " she immediately voices making you laugh,

"oh? no more kisses for Kana" Satoru raises a brow, starring at kana dead serious.

That makes the little girls eyes widen and bottom lips quiver before her big eyes start getting glossy.

Satoru's eyes widens at that.

"Papa was just joking! Papa will never stop giving kana big big kissies! " He tries to rock her as she continues staring at him with big sad eyes.

"ok– let's go play, let mommy wash her face! " he is about to walk away when you stop him by his arm.

"I'll take care of her, you should first go wash up" You suggest, but he shakes his head.

"I'll miss her all day once I leave for work let me spend some time" he pouts, You sigh and give a nod at that.

You watch them walk away,

standing for a bit longer at the same spot to watch your husband put the little girl who was in her cherry printed bodysuit and frilly white socks down the ground.

"it's snowingg ! " Her dad sits down the fluffy beige carpet and exclaims, pointing at the view in the window, making her looking at him with big smile,

"snoing! " she repeats after him and also pointing at the tall windows that displayed the snow covered garden with her tiny finger, before proceeding to waddle towards Satoru and climbing up on his lap to sit down on it, while still continuing to stare out at the window and swinging her little feet out of habit as Satoru starts carefully pulling back the locks of her hair, trying to tie it into mini space buns.

Your little girl suddenly looks back at her dad while practically sucking on her entire tiny fisted hand as Satoru is still doing her hairstyle.

"papa lov uh!" She innocently exclaims, throwing her tiny hands in the air, looking at him with her big round eyes, waiting for an I love you back.

Satoru's lips pull up into a big heartfelt grin.

"love you lot lot more softie" He whispers playfully making her scrunch her nose and giggle, before turning back to look outside the windows.

"papa luv kana" your baby girl continues to sing to herself while getting her hair done by her dad,

"my cutest little fairy " he mumbles to himself while continuing to do her hair.

Your heart felt so full, You got to be in heaven right now. You enjoyed every little moment they shared, hearing kana's voice in middle of the night entering your room to tap Satoru awake every time she felt scared in her room, how you will then find them both in the morning, asleep on the couch with her sprawled on his chest and drooling over it while he had his buff arms wrapped around the tiny baby but still managing to sleep soundly with her, the way you had to rip Satoru back and tell him to go get ready for work instead of cleaning Kana's snot and drool up constantly. Having to calm down Kana who would start crying bloody murder when Satoru finally gets dressed for work and stands near the doorway, waving you both a goodbye. Satoru having to always bargain with her by leaving a bunch of endless kisses all over her chubby cheeks and forehead, and also promising to watch Disney movies with her in the upcoming weekends if she stops crying when he leaves.

Oh she was definitely a daddy's girl. One that Satoru would never get tired of no matter how much of a brat she'd become. You have to hold back a laugh every time you think about how the Satoru you knew from ten years ago would react if he would have known about this information.

[matan4il]

Buddie vs Lone Star meta (3/3)

Notes: LS = 911 Lone Star || OG = original 911 || These three meta posts were written before LS s3 even started... || part 1 || part 2

LS 211

This may seem like a small thing, but I still found it interesting. In this ep, we see the 126 perform a rope rescue, not for the first time. Now, if you’ve been following my meta posts, you know that I LOVE the fact that Buck and Eddie have their own little team going within the 118 unit. In the context of rope rescues, that means that unless there are some unusual circumstances, Buddie almost always get to do them together, and they even have preferred roles, where Buck rappels down and Eddie is the one holding the rope and being his anchor (I even wrote a whole fic around this theme). What I find so interesting when watching the 126’s rope rescues is the reminder that they do NOT have a clearly defined team-within-the-greater-firefighting-team as the 118 do with Buddie. You see a rope rescue, for example, and it could be any combo of firefighters in any role. It’s a reminder that the ‘battlefield boyfriends’ theme that Buddie have going on is not a necessity of this line of work, it’s something that they developed and is so uniquely them.

~ ~ ~

Also, the title for this ep is ‘slow burn’. To the best of my knowledge (and I also checked with a friend who’s a first responder, but please do correct me if this is wrong), ‘slow burn’ is not an actual firefighting term (unlike, for example, ‘flashover’). So where did the show borrow this ep’s title from? I don’t have any other explanation other than that it's borrowed from the world of fandom and shipping, a wink telling us the 911’s Powers That Be are aware of the term, of fandom, of ships and romantic tropes. It’s especially true when this ep and the following one involve Tarlos in the main plot, including a pretty steamy scene between them. So it’s a reminder that when we yell about Buddie being a ‘slow burn’? TPTB know what we’re talking about...

LS 213 This is an ep that builds on the Tommy and Owen friendship which has been growing all throughout LS s2. Not for a second did I think the show was trying to get people to ship them. And it’s not because Tommy is married or Owen is involved with Gwyn at the start of the season, ‘coz I have seen shows starting a ship out like that with the intent for the audience to realize that the partners are the wrong people for the main characters to be with, that they should be together instead. This made me reflect again on why I don’t ship ANY of the friendships on either 911 show, other than Buddie (with the exception of the 3.09238 seconds where Madney pretended to only be friends... but their real feelings  for each other went canon in what, the second ep they shared, as we witnessed that they had a whole routine set up of spending time together? So yeah, Madney being the only other exception actually supports the point I’m trying to make). I think the answer is, because none of those friends are as intensely intertwined into each other’s personal and emotional life as Buck and Eddie are (or as Madney were shown to be in 208, and even that wasn’t as intense as Buddie are). Friends on this show know and care about each other, they’re interested, they’re there for each other, they offer support and help, but they’re not each other’s *main person* like Buck and Eddie are. I’ve written before about different comparisons between OG friendships on the one hand and Buddie (and Madney) on the other, I’m just adding to this growing list the LS friendships which show the same pattern: we have plenty of deep, caring ones, that don’t come across as subtextual romance, proving that it’s not an incapacity for appreciating friendship that drives Buddie shippers, it’s the canonical fodder we’re given that makes them different.

LS 214 Okay, but TK saw Carlos with Tommy’s twins in this ep and you know his ovaries exploded. He didn’t put it quite like that, obviously. He simply agreed when Nancy called it, “adorable” (a little like how Buck didn’t say out loud that he thought Eddie was cute, but that’s what he thought he was agreeing to when talking to Maddie in OG 206). Now tell me that the smitten look TK gets when he sees Carlos with those kids is not exactly like Buck in OG 203, seeing what an amazing dad Eddie is and developing the worst case of heart eyes ever in the history of any crush, ever... Insert “they’re the same picture” meme here!

~ ~ ~

I find it so interesting to see Tommy feeling a little lost as a newly single parent. She has to recalibrate her life and figure out how to navigate parenthood on her own. It threw me back to Eddie in OG 217, where he’s newly widowed. He definitely has to deal with grief and loss, but it’s so noticeable that in comparison, even though Shannon had re-entered his and Christopher’s life and was a part of it for only a few months at that point, her exit doesn’t throw their daily life into complete disarray, with a need to recalculate how to complete even the most mundane tasks. And yes, a part of it is because she had left them once before already, which means that the figuring out how to carry on as a single dad in L.A happened at an earlier point for Eddie. And what helped him get through that? Eps like OG 204, 210 and 312 clearly show it was Buck, coming to Eddie’s aid, introducing him to Carla, and becoming a co-parent to Chris that Eddie could turn to, share experiences with, consult and rely on. After Shannon’s death, Eddie can insist on staying in L.A with Chris, and a part of why is thanks to Buck being there, as well as Carla’s help which Eddie has thanks to him. That means that even before the legal guardianship reveal, it would have thrown the Diaz boys’ daily life into a greater spin if something were to happen to Buck than when something did happen to Shannon. Not because she didn’t matter, but because at that point, she was an outsider visiting in, while Buck had already become Eddie’s real life partner...

~ ~ ~

The second seasons of both OG and LS end with a probie getting to the moment where they’re no longer considered a probationary firefighter. But whereas Mateo’s moment is all about his entire team (a 126 group hug), Eddie’s ceremony is to a great degree centered around two people that give this moment its emotional depth: first Chris and then, Buck (especially because the show establishes in the preceding scene that he’s risking his leg and thus his career to attend, plus they keep beaming with pride and joy at each other, including throughout the first of our onscreen Buddie hugs). Seriously, comparing the way these two shows within the same verse tell similar stories only accentuates the differences and highlights how Buck and Eddie’s stories are inseparable in a way that no two other platonic friends are...

~ ~ ~ Thank you so much to the unbelievable @judsonryder​​​ for making these incredible gifs. She’s been beyond kind, supportive and so generous with her talent! You can find more of my Buddie meta, gifs, humor posts here, and my Buddie fics here. Please feel free to poke me if you need help with anything, and thank you in advance for any show of support, and especially if you reblog and share with others that these posts exist... xoxox

[stanurines1mp]

Happy

Pairing: Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader (she/her)

type: fluff

an: i had a request for a p3 but im too out of ideas so here's an alt ending. i really hope it's alright :) hopefully a nice change from the heartbreaking angst ehehhehe. it's pretty short so, im sorry for that. if u have a request, let me know :)

warnings: fluff, armin being absolutely dumb about these things but its okay coz he's cute. that's all. might be a little out of character for armin and might have inconsistency but, idk. let me know if i missed anything :)

Part one -- Alternate Ending 1

~~~

Sleep was not something Armin Arlert found himself doing ever since he had gotten home for spring break. A few days, at least, since he last saw you.

A few days since you broke his heart even more.

His eyes would open at night, his mind would conjure up questions and thoughts. Things he wanted to say to you, things he wanted to ask you.

Did you really not care?

Even if he had a new girlfriend and brought her to a party where he knew you would be at, did you really not care?

He wanted you to get angry. When the idea of his lie was first proposed to him, Armin thought you would be angry. But you weren't. Instead, you were so fucking caring for him that you let him be.

I hope you're happy.

Well, he isn't. And he didn't want to be happy.

He didn't want to be happy without you by his side. He didn't want to be happy without your arms around him. He didn't want to be happy without your lips against his.

Armin wanted you. He wanted every part of you.

No matter what happened in the past, Armin was willing to try again because he loved you. And he couldn't see himself not loving you. He didn't even want to imagine such a life.

"Just talk to her at this point," Eve groaned, her fingers scrolling through her phone. "It's getting tiring to be your pretend girlfriend."

"It was your idea," Armin frowned.

"I thought it would work," she defended, arms up in a defeated motion. "Look, she seems like a really cool girl-"

"She's the best," Armin dreamily sighed. "I don't know anyone else as amazing as her."

"I'll try not to take that to heart," Eve sarcastically joked. "My point is, just talk to her."

"And say what?" Armin scoffed, laughing at his own stupidity. "'Hey Y/N, I'm sorry for breaking up with you and pretending that I have a girlfriend when she's really just my friend because she thinks she's a genius and that you'd feel jealous-"

"Hey!" Eve yelled.

"What?" Armin asked, slightly annoyed. "Sorry," he apologized, realizing the tone used.

"Look, you love her, don't you?" Eve softened, brown eyes gazing into Armin's sky blue orbs.

"Very much," he gulped, intimidated by his friend.

"Then tell her."

"Okay," he sighed, understanding it himself.

"God, straight people," Eve rolled her eyes before walking to the kitchen.

Armin couldn't help but shake his head with amusement at his friend. Yes, Eve was just his friend. Never once did he ever think of her as more than that and never once did she ever think of him in any other way.

It was her idea to pretend to be his girlfriend. The idea was born on one of the days before spring break.

Armin was nervous to see you again because what if he ruined everything and fell in love with you all over again?

Although truth be told, he didn't think he ever stopped loving you.

Eve's family was traveling overseas and she didn't feel like spending spring break alone. Armin had kindly invited her over to stay with him in your hometown during the week.

Eve thought it would be a good idea to try and make you jealous by saying that she's Armin's new girlfriend. Too hung up on you, Armin didn't care to look at the situation from a logical point of view and just agreed with it.

He should have known it wouldn't have worked out.

But Eve was right. You were a calm person. You'd understand.

He just wished you really didn't mean what you said to him that night.

Armin spent the whole day thinking when and where and how to talk to you. Should he just go to your house?

But when? Tonight? Tomorrow?

No, he should talk to you as soon as possible.

Part of him thought he should give it more consideration, explore every possible outcome. But unlike his usual self, he was impatient. He needed to let you know the truth of his feelings.

Slightly impulsive, he muttered a quick goodbye to Eve and got into his car. He drove through the streets smoothly, each turns and corners embedded in the back of his mind.

He remembered the days, nights and evenings a young, lovesick Armin often using the same path to find you. It's quite funny how the situation is still the same even after years since the first day he had fallen in love with you.

Upon reaching the front of your house, Armin was ready to get out of his car. He had turned off the engine, his hand ready to open the car door. But then he realized that he hadn't even texted you before coming here. He had no idea if you were even home.

Oh well, he was already there.

So he got out of the car, his legs guiding him to your front door. He knew no one was home since it was the weekday so your parents were probably working.

He rang the doorbell a few times, occasionally knocking softly. After minutes of waiting, he was about to give up. But thankfully, he heard mumbling from the other side of the door and he knew it was you but oh boy, you did not sound happy.

But of course you weren't.

For nights since the party, you couldn't sleep.

You couldn't sleep because all you could think about was how good Armin looked with Eve. How happy he was, how they just seemed so good together.

And you hated it.

You were trying not to cause a scene that night of the party. But you were slightly angry. And jealous.

And you felt so fucking guilty for feeling those things because you loved Armin, even still. And since you haven't been sleeping well, you could only manage to take naps.

And finally, oh finally, you had a really good nap that afternoon until some stupid asshole decided to ring the doorbell while also knocking the door. At first you just ignored it, hoping whoever it was would leave.

But that person was persistent and impatient. And so you were impatient.

But again, you just ignored it, hoping the long wait would cause the person to take the hint and get the fuck off. Unfortunately for you, that was not the case.

You didn't have a choice but to get up, an angry glare ready at your eyes. Mumbled curses were let out as you made your way to the front door. Your hand tightly gripped the doorknob, swinging the door open angrily.

"What the hel- Oh, Armin," your angry tone immediately dropped into a rather shocked yet soft tone.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I know I should have called or texted but uh," he stammered, a hand scratching the back of his neck with uncertainty. He really had not thought this through.

"No, it's okay, don't worry about it. Come in," you smiled, your energy instantly changing because the sight of the blue-eyed blondie never seemed to be unable to calm you down.

Slightly hesitant, Armin took a step into your house, his stance awkward as he waited for you to close the door. He turned to look at you and all he wanted to do was kiss you.

He missed feeling your lips on his. He missed feeling the strands of your beautiful hair intertwined in his fingers. He missed feeling your body in his arms. He missed you.

And God, he wish he could just kiss you at that moment.

"So? Is everything okay?" You awkwardly questioned.

"Oh-" He almost forgot that he was actually there to talk to you about his feelings and Eve and everything. "I just wanted you to know that Eve isn't actually my girlfriend."

What. The. Fuck.

You couldn't help but frown at his words. You were confused but at the same time, you udnerstood what he meant.

But could that really be what he meant? You weren't truly sure. Still, there was a sliver of hope making its way to your heart.

"What- What are you talking about?" You stuttered, your body shifting awkwardly.

"We're not actually togeter. We're just friends," Armin answered, his eyes slowly lowering down to the ground in embarassment. "It was her idea to fake it."

"Oh," you uttered. Your face showed a blank expression but your heart was fluttering with hope again. "But why?"

"She said it might make you jealous," he mumbled, clearly humiliated by such a childish thought.

"But why would you want to make me jealous?" You cautiously asked, your heart beating rapidly in anticipation for the next words to escape Armin's pretty lips.

Armin was damn nervous. He was about to tell you the truth.

And what if you don't feel the same way?

What if you didn't love him anymore?

What if all his feelings were just his?

But he had to tell you. Bottling it up would be worse.

Armin sighed, his entire being preparing himself for all possible outcomes. His gaze moved from the ground to find home in your dreamy and hopeful eyes. Almost immediately, he could feel himself getting calmer though he was still drowned by nerves.

"Because I still love you," he let out. "I never stopped loving you."

You said nothing. You didn't know what to say. No- It was more like, you had so much to say.

Armin, I love you too.

Armin, please don't ever leave me again.

Armin, I never stopped loving you too.

Armin, please always be mine.

Armin, please kiss me.

Armin, can I always be yours?

Armin, please let me always be yours.

You didn't know which one you should say first. So you decided to just say it all through an action.

One step turned into two and your arms found themselves wrapped around his neck, your wrists interlocked with one another. Your lips pressed gently against his, letting him know without much movement that you felt the same.

Taken by surprise, Armin's eyes widened but when he realized it, his eyes closed, lips dancing elegantly against yours. You both relished in the synchronization of movement your lips made.

It was like your lips were made for his. Like you were made for him.

As you kissed him, the view of your house slowly disappeared because all you could think about was him. Once more, he was yours and you were his.

Armin felt the same, if not more.

The kiss lasted long, but never once did it stop showing passion. The kiss felt like home, the same feeling Armin had always granted you, and you, him. Neither one of you wanted to let go.

But neither of you had much of a choice since you were left almost completely breathless. But again, neither of you minded.

Your eyes met with his, and you found yourself getting lost in such a naturally breathtaking sccenery. Your lips were curled in a grin and you were sure that you looked like a lovesick teenager.

Or maybe a lovesick idiot.

But that's what you were feeling. And Armin had that same feeling.

"I love you," Armin smiled, his soft warmth hugging you while his thumb caressed your cheek gently.

"I love you," you returned his sentiment, feeling exactly what you said. "But next time, don't try to make me jealous. I don't like it at all," you added.

And Armin couldn't help but laugh.

And soon, both your laughter were merged in one symphony that you could never get tired of.

After all, he was the love of your life and you were his.

And instead of the selfish thoughts that clouded your mind for the past few days, your mind only conjured one sentence;

You make me happy.

[vanchlo]

Love Story / Green Eyes 5

Read all previous parts here!

Genre: Teacher Harry, soooooo much fluff, and lots of romance.

Warnings: Mention of blood and accidentally cutting oneself with a knife at the beginning.

Word Count: 7.8k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Browse the Inspo Tag here!

Music Inspo: Love Story by Taylor Swift (click to listen to this absolute throwback)

The rolling bubbling of the pot of water fills your ears as you rhythmically chop up the small head of broccoli into bite-size pieces later that night. They make a crunching noise underneath the heavy knife as the heat from the boiling pot spreads throughout the kitchen.

“Harry, the pasta water is ready!” you call to him, looking down at the last few pieces of broccoli you have left to cut up.

“Alright, ‘mma use tha loo quick first, and then ‘ll be there t’ help,” he answers and you reply with an ‘okay’, moving the cut-up pieces aside.  

*Warning: Mention of blood begins here* 

Humming along to the Pink Floyd song trickling from Harry’s record player in the living room, you glance over at the boiling water, hoping it won’t splash everywhere. Unfortunately, you had continued to cut up the broccoli to have with the pasta, and felt a hot sting on your finger. Turning around, you immediately drop the knife onto the counter and notice the blood oozing from the side of your finger in shock. 

“H-Harry!” you shout frantically, dashing over to the sink and turning on the tap. 

“Hold on, bird!” he calls back, the sound of the toilet flushing following his words. 

“Harry!” you almost yell, your breaths starting to quicken as the water whisks away the blood from your finger that burns from the invisible cut. 

“What ‘s it, are ya okay?” he responds gently yet hurriedly, his voice no longer muffled from the bathroom door in between the two of you.

“I-I cut myself with the knife,” you sigh, embarrassment beginning to coat your body as you watch the scarlet run down the sink. 

“‘ll be right there! I know ya don’t like blood, so jus’ breathe in and out, and don’ look if ya don’ want. Are ya runnin’ it unda cold water?” Harry says, urgency in his voice now as you hear the creaking of the floor under his footsteps. 

“Y-yeah, is that what you’re supposed to do?”

“Ya, tha cold helps t’ constrict yer blood vessels t’ help stop tha bleedin’,” he assures you, placing a hand at the small of your back when he arrives in the kitchen. “‘s okay, ‘m here. Yer doin’ a good job, does it hurt?”

“Mmmhmm,” you almost whine, leaning into him briefly when he pecks your cheek. 

“Good girl. ‘m gonna find a rag t’ help stop tha bleedin’, okay? Take some deep breaths, ‘s okay, birdy.”

“Okay,” you manage with a nod, glancing over to the cutting board and knife. “We should probably throw away the broccoli, I’m sorry.”

“We’ll worry ‘bout that afta we get yer finga cleaned up. There’s more broccoli in tha fridge, ‘m mo’ worried ‘bout yer finga. We can replace tha broccoli, but not yer finga, love,” he coos, rubbing his hand against your back like the motion of waving to somebody. Luckily one of you remembers the boiling water and soon you hear the click of the knob twisting to turn the burner off.  

“It hurts,” you whimper, getting the dumb idea to pull it away from the water. Your eyes go wide at the sight of the crimson river flowing from your skin, hitting the silver basin of the sink. 

“Birdy, don’ look at it. Put it back unda tha water, I almost gott’a rag,” Harry insists, but your eyes are only growing bigger and the bottom of the sink is growing darker with the color. “Bird, look at me. Look at me.” You listen to him and glance over to see his large eyes, watching him as he crosses the room from the other side, a tattered gray washcloth in his hand. 

“Keep lookin’ at me- no, don’t look at it. I know ya don’ like blood, so don’t,” he tells you, arriving in front of you. “I want ya t’ gi’mme yer hand and ‘m gonna apply pressure t’ stop tha bleedin’, okay? I want ya t’ look at me tha whole time, not tha blood. Okay?” You nod and turn off the tap with your right hand, but you make the mistake of looking at your hands, just as you would on any other day. 

“H-Harry, that’s a lot of blood. Harry,” you exclaim, words shaking as they spill from your quivering lips. He says your name but you can’t get yourself to stop looking, suddenly feeling a heaviness in your stomach arrive. 

“Baby, look at me,” he murmurs, lifting your chin to look him in the eyes through the tears you didn’t know were there. “‘s okay, ‘m applyin’ pressure now. ‘m sorry if it hurts, but ‘m gonna hafta do it fer a few minutes ‘til ‘s done. Look at me, talk t’ me.” 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m so dumb. I can’t believe I cut myself,” you blurt out, wincing at the pressure he applies and he mumbles a ‘sorry’ before alleviating some of it. 

“Yer not dumb, birdy. ‘ve done it befo’, it happens t’ all o’ us. Even tha good chefs like you and me,” he replies with a small smile, pecking your nose sweetly. 

“Thank you, Harry, and thanks for coming to my rescue. How bad does it look? It’s okay, I won’t look.” He breaks your eye contact and his head falls, unwrapping the cloth from your finger for only a second. 

“It doesn’t look too bad, love, jus’ tha blood makes it look loads worse than it ‘s. You’ll be okay, ya won’t need any stitches I don’ think,” he responds, bringing his eyes back to yours and his other hand trails to your elbow. “C’mon le’ss go sit down, I know blood makes ya queasy.”

You nod and follow him to the small wooden table on the other side of the room where you sit down. He places your joined hands on his thigh and drags the hair away from your face with his other. 

“Deep breaths, no hospital fer you t’day,” he grins, pressing a kiss to your trembling lips.

“This is why I’m not a doctor or a nurse.”

“Ya, yer a teacher, and a mighty good one at that. Keep talkin’ t’ me - what’re we doin’ t’morrow hmm, or how d’ya make homemade pasta?” he continues, making the thoughts buzz around in your head as they blossom anew. A smile graces your lips at the funny way he pronounces pasta, something you had been giving him a hard time about earlier today. 

“Well tomorrow is the first day of finals, so I have Creative Writing, and a section each of World Lit and American Lit,” you explain, him nodding in front of you, dislodging the curls tucked behind his ear. “And the way you make homemade pasta is you mix together eggs, flour an-.”

“Don’t look,” he warns, lifting your chin again to bring you back to him. The heaviness in your stomach returns when you see the dots of the dark blood on the piece of cloth hiding your finger, Harry’s large ones surrounding your hand. “So what else d’ya add t’ tha eggs and flour, hmm?” 

“Um, you add salt and some people add some olive oil. You can add garlic or herbs if you want to be fancy, I guess,” you continue, blowing out a long shaky breath. He nods and his cool fingers feel good against your clammy face when they tuck that rebellious strand of hair behind your ear again. “F-First, you mix the flour and salt together. I like to do it in a bowl, and you make a well in the middle where you crack the eggs. They say they should be room temperature, but sometimes I use them right out of the fridge.” 

“Ya, good. Keep talkin’, honey, yer doin’ great. ‘m excited fer yer pasta, ‘m glad we have it made already, we’ll eat soon. ‘s gonna be so good in yer homemade Alfredo sauce. Keep breathin’, I know it hurts but ‘s okay, baby,” he coos, his fingers stilling on your cheek to cup it, relaxing with you a soft kiss. “Then, what d’ya do? I missed it all coz Gatsby was tryna eat me shoe.” 

Amidst a laugh remembering Harry’s nervousness at the sight, your lips part again, “You take a fork and mix the eggs together in the center, and as you do it you mix in some flour. Slowly, you mix in more and more until you can’t anymore. Then you can use a spatula to combine it all together before you scoop it out onto the floured countertop. You knead it with added flour for maybe five to ten minutes until it’s come together into a ball and is smooth and no longer sticky. After that you should let it rest for fifteen to thirty minutes before you roll it out and cut it, or use one of those pasta machines.” 

“Ah, I see what my birdy was doin’ in here now, lottsa hard work,” he grins, running his thumb back and forth over your warm cheek, the coolness of his rings feeling good. “Yer doin’ so good fer me. Are ya still queasy, or not so much?”

“Not so much,” you answer, continuing to stare into his eyes, which may be the only good part of this. You get to adore him and admire his handsome face all you want and without any teasing from him. 

“That’s good,” he mumbles, happiness curling up his lips. Quickly, you hear the little tip-taps of Gatsby’s paws on the floor and Harry turns his head to watch him. “Hiya, pup. We’re over here. Mummy jus’ got a li’l owie, but ‘m takin’ care o’ her and she’ll be right as rain here soon.” 

A smile finds its way onto your face, despite the tens of other emotions battling to have their way. Harry and you pet him a little bit while he still holds your hand firmly, pressing his thumb against your finger where the cut is. Gatsby walks off with a cloth pizza toy he found forgotten somewhere in the kitchen, despite it already being ripped in half from his monster teeth. 

“Okay, ‘mma take a look and see if we’re ready fer a bandaid. Ya can stay lookin’ at me or look at tha ceilin’, bird,” Harry announces and you nod, but your eyes remain on him. They dance along his expressive eyebrows, the dimples forever there in his cheeks as he bites at his lip, and those lips that could make anything better. “Ya ‘s not so bad, and ‘s already done bleedin’. You jus’ hang tight and imma go grab a bandaid, okay?”

“Okay,” you answer, eyes following his figure as he stands up and walks over to the stove, reaching into a drawer where he pulls out the first-aid kit. “S-Should I look? Is it okay to?”

“I dunno, ‘s kinda gnarly, bird. But ya can if ya want, jus’ don’t want ya t’ get queasy on me again,” he comments, meeting your eyes with warmth tucked into the edges of his smiling lips. Sometimes you feel like you could cry with how lucky you got, watching the muscles flex in his arms as he pries open the box, and how his attention is one hundred percent devoted to you right now. 

“I’m curious,” you reply and sneak a look, realizing it isn’t as bad, just as Harry said. Ugly and a little overwhelming that your body isn’t intact there, but he was right. “Maybe you should’ve been a doctor, you have a good bedside manner.” 

“Erm, I dunno,” he giggles, waving you over to come and wash your hands. “It won’t hurt too much, we’re just gonna wash tha dried blood off,” he explains, turning on the tap as you glide over to him. You follow his instructions and watch the remnants of your little accident escape down the sink drain. “‘ve neva hadd’a interest in medicine or all that. I mean, I don’t mind blood, but I couldn’t see meself doin’ that. Tha bedside manner comes in handy sometimes with parents and tha like at school, tho.’”

“Yeah, you’re so good with the students. I bet that’s why they like you so much, Harry, you’re always so kind to them, you give them your undivided attention, and I’ve never heard you raise your voice.”

“Thanks, bird, that’s real kind o’ you t’ say. I hope that’s why they like me, and not coz I let ‘em eat in class or hand in late work,” he says, gently picking up your hand to lie in his. “‘m just gonna put tha bandaid on next and then we’ll be all done, and ‘ll finish tha rest o’ dinna.”

“Harry, no. I can help,” you insist, but he shakes his head in response. 

“‘s okay, love, I want t’. Ya did everythin’ else, made tha pasta and sauce already. I jus’ hafta boil it and make tha broccoli, and cut up tha fruit. It shouldn’t take too long,” he explains, the sounds of unwrapping the bandage joining his words. Soon his eyes meet yours as he holds your hand up and presses a kiss to your bandaged finger. “All done, ya did so good, birdy. Now go play with Gatsby and relax, ‘ll finish dinna.”

As soon as he turns back after throwing away the trash, your arms go around his middle and your face falls against his chest. ‘Thank yous’ fly from your lips, his soft laugh joining you while his rough beard irritates your forehead. 

“Welcome, birdy, nobody else ‘d ratha take care of than you,” he whispers against your ear, pulling away to look in your eyes. “Feelin’ betta, are we?”

You reply with a silent nod, using your tiptoes a little bit to give him a grateful kiss that you both smile into. ‘Grateful’ could never begin to cover how you feel about getting to call him yours.

*Warning: Mention of blood is over*

*

With heavy, bleary eyes you twist the handle with a yawn, soon blanketing the room in light. Apparently, today is full of firsts, because this morning you’re here before Harry and he’s left his note where you find it right away. You think that the arrangement of roses on your desk gives that away, though, along with the 12-pack box of Coke and tub of Twix candy bars. Your dread for today is washed away at the mere sight of it all, and when you read his long note, it easily knocks you off your feet. You’re grateful that you’re sitting down when you pluck it from the vase of flowers to read. 

Birdy, 

Good morning! If I planned everything correctly, you’ll probably have gotten to the school before me, or so you think ;) Happy 5 months, my love. I can’t believe it’s already been that long, and yet it feels longer, because of how long we’ve known the other. You claim that our anniversary is in September or October, but nah-ah it’s in August when I first kissed you, and that’s that. I won’t get too sappy in this note, because I will see you in a few minutes and also there’s a lot of room for sappy tonight when we celebrate. I just sometimes can’t believe how lucky I got with you. You subbed in my classroom for nine bloody months before we even met, and then you got the job and we teach across the hall from each other now! It couldn’t be more perfect, but Gatsby is the real icing on the cake, as is you moving in with me in just two days! Gats says that he’s more excited than I am, but I don’t believe him, because I’m far more excited. I’m also looking forward to our shared field trip today to see the Shakespeare play with both of our classes. That should be a real hoot listening to our students trying to convince us to date each other, already. It gets to me sometimes having to fake it, and I know it does for you too, so when should we tell them? Or would you rather wait? You had a good point that we’ve hid it for one semester already, so maybe we could do one more. I don’t know, I really want to see the look on their faces when we tell them before we have new students next year and the seniors graduate. Anyways, I’m running out of room here, but I just wanted to tell you how happy I am to have you as my girlfriend for the last 5 months (yes 5, because August is our anniversary, don’t even question me on this). I can’t wait to celebrate with you and Gatsby tonight, we’ll have to tell him the story of how we first met. I know I’ve been thinking about those important stories lately, like when you told me you had gotten the job, remember that one, birdy? It’s my mission to get you to like canoeing one day, or maybe kayaking. I’ll take what I can get :) 

I’ll see you soon for our shared field trip day! I love you more than words could ever say. 

Love, 

Harry xoxoxo

With watering eyes, you laugh softly at the note with a smile adorning your lips. Slowly the memory comes back to you as the sun rises outside your window. 

Although you had been to the beach a few times now with Harry during summer vacation, you still grew nervous every time. You weren’t sure if it was the intimacy of being alone with him, the warmth that came over your entire body when he took his shirt off, the looks you got from other women at the beach when they saw him with you, or the change of events for today. As you waited in your car in the parking lot, the sun baking down on you, the nerves only grew worse as you looked for his black car to pull in. Your anxiousness intensifies along with excitement at getting to see him for the first time in two weeks, seeing as summer has been busy for the both of you. You were especially looking forward to telling him some good news that the both of you had been waiting on for quite some time. 

Out of nowhere, you hear loud music coming from a car that pulls into the space across from you, and sure enough it’s him. Within seconds, he turns off his car and gets out, the song a thing of the past. 

“You’re always late, you know that?” you quip, leaning against your warm car. 

“‘m not late,” he insists, keys jangling in his hands as he twirls them around on his finger. 

“Yes, you are, Harry,” you laugh, turning your wrist so he can see your watch that he doesn’t bother to look at. “You’re always so fashionably late.”

“Oh, quiet,” he smiles, slinging a small black backpack over his shoulder clad in a cream Led Zeppelin shirt. He begins to walk ahead of you and you follow him through the parking lot, his sandals making a clapping nose against the hot tarmac. 

“Do you know where you’re going?”

“‘Course I do, bird. Now, c’mon,” Harry answers, waving an arm towards the beach in front of him.

Soon, you pass the building for bathrooms and where outside showers hang on the walls, little kids already under the cold spray. More cars than you expected sit in the parking lot at ten am, and so you’re surprised to find dozens of bodies laying on towels on the sand. Your focus is whisked away when Harry avoids the long expanse of warm sand, pulling you over in another direction. Quickly, the puzzle pieces come together when you find another small building and a long dock surrounded with canoes and kayaks. The walk is a little awkward as the tarmac slopes down to the water through stretches of trees and grass on this side of the development. 

Not even ten minutes later, you’re both standing in front of a long red canoe with two wooden paddles laid down in the bottom. The attendee had helped you with everything else including payment, getting paddles, lifejackets, and a safety kit. Now, the last thing you have to do is get into the vessel, and luckily the man is already helping somebody else so he isn’t watching. 

“C’mon, bird, what’re you waitin’ fer?” Harry giggles from beside you, tossing his backpack in to land on the dry metal floor of the canoe. You hear clicking as he fastens the buckles of his yellow life jacket, tightening the straps of it and now you’re not sure about all of this. You’d much rather be relaxing on the beach, laying beside him on your towels watching how the sun plays on his freckled back. 

“W-We still have to do sunscreen,” you say quickly, masking the real reason you’re afraid to get in, although now that you’re here it may be more than one. 

“Oh thanks, I forgot,” he answers, reaching forward to grab his backpack which he pulls a tube of sunscreen out of. “Here, ‘ll do ya first. Can ya move yer hair outta tha way, please?”

You nod and with a gulp, pull your hair into a makeshift bun that you hold there. Your skin already buzzes as you hear him squirt it into his hands, and then he begins to rub it along your exposed shoulders and neck. A breath hitches in your throat at the feeling of his fingers gentle along your skin, and then too soon the feeling is fleeting. 

“There ya go, I got yer neck and shoulders. Will ya do mine now?” he hums and you mumble a confirmation, turning around to face him. “Here, take tha rest,” he titters, holding out his hands covered in the white goo. You laugh and slide both hands against his until he’s transferred most of the sunscreen to your hands, then turning around. 

A bare tan hand swipes across his neck to hold up his short curls, exposing his sunkissed neck. Slowly, you approach him and rub circles onto the back of his neck, and then across his freckled shoulders. The lifejacket covers the rest of his back, and again you wish you were on the beach so you could get to rub the rest into his long warm back. Later, you hope silently as you finish covering the last few patches of his skin. 

“There,” you announce, already rubbing the rest of the sunscreen onto your arms. 

“Bloody hell, bird. Ya neva tan, d’ya?” he smirks, turning around with the bottle of sunscreen in his hands. 

“No, I burn.”

“I know, I rememba tha first day we came here this summa. Poor girl, I had t’ rub aloe all ova you when we got back t’ my place,” he giggles nostalgically, and you groan at the memory. Your back and shoulders peeled for days, and it just hurt to sleep, but Harry was so sweet. He stopped at a shop just to buy aloe vera, then stuck it in the fridge because he said that’s a good trick to make it work even better. Then he bought you a little aloe vera plant that has since become a running joke between the both of you. 

“Don’t remind me,” you sigh, holding out your cupped hands when he nears you, squirting a big dollop of the cream into your hands. 

“Where d’ya wanna go fer lunch later?” 

“Hmmm, I don’t know,” you muse aloud, bending over to spread the white cream all over your legs until you reach the hem of your denim shorts. 

“How ‘bout Hewie’s Pizza? ‘s only a few minutes away, and we haven’t been there in a while.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe I forgot about that place!” you exclaim, covering the rest of your arms. 

“I know, but ‘m not eatin’ yer bloody Hawaiian pizza, ‘s gross.”

You giggle at his comment, plucking the tube of sunscreen from between his chest and bicep where he holds it. 

“That’s fine, more for me then.”

“Sure, whateva ya say, bird,” he replies, standing back up now with slightly ghostly looking hairy legs. “Here, will ya do my face fer me? Y’know I hate that part.”

“Of course,” you answer, rubbing the tips of your fingers together with the cream as you stop in front of him. He lifts his chocolate brown Ray Bans and pulls them back to rest on his head, taking his curls with it. 

So far, this may be your favorite part, because for some reason he hates putting sunscreen on his face. He chalks it up to getting it in his eye once, and how it feels suffocating or something. You’re not sure how it’s any better that you’re doing it, but nonetheless, him placing his trust in you makes you feel better than you’d like to admit. 

He pulls his lips in between his teeth and closes his eyes as you begin to smear the

cream over his forehead. You struggle a little when you get to his beard, and the both of you laugh, but luckily he’s kept it rather thin these days. You attribute that to the hot summer you’ve both been enjoying. He’s had to have been clean shaven some days, you guess, but unfortunately you’ve yet to have had the chance to enjoy that sight. 

“Why don’t you just shave it all off? It’s summer, Harry,” you pose, swiping carefully under his eyes and rubbing it in until it disappears. “Doesn’t it get too warm with it?”

“No, ‘s not that bad if I keep it trimmed all thin. ‘s a pain t’ shave all off cuz ‘s hard t’ grow back, ‘specially tha patchy parts,” he groans, grimacing when you smear it above his eyes. 

“I like the patchy parts, it’s normal.”

“Ya, but they’re embarrassin’ as a guy, bird.”

“Oh,” you hum, finally returning to the difficult part of rubbing it into his scratchy beard that reaches to the edge of his jaw and even across his upper lip. 

He thanks you once you’ve rubbed sunscreen into every inch of his face, and then you tackle your own after tossing him the sunscreen. 

“Ready now?” he asks, zipping his backpack up, and when you open your eyes you swear he couldn’t look cuter. “What?” 

“Nice hat,” you answer with a smile, watching him pull a very ‘Dad’ looking Hard Rock Cafe gray cap over his curls. Although it’s cute and dorky at the same time, you miss the curls that now only remain by his ears and at the nape of his neck. “You know, you should just shave it all off and keep the mustache.”

“Ya, no thanks. I already know ‘d look weird.” 

“No, you wouldn’t!” you protest, pulling on the straps to tighten your blue life jacket. You can’t help yourself and admire his outfit today as he rummages around in his backpack for something. 

“Like me outfit, birdy?” he asks, sensing your eyes on him. After returning the backpack to the bed of the canoe, he holds out his arms with a proud smile. 

“Yeah, you look like a proper outdoorsy boy.”

“Good, that’s what I was goin’ fer. Jus’ not a boy, y’know a man,” he comments with a proud nod as your eyes dance along his body. 

Sometimes you wonder why he does this to you, wearing such things as these short yellow swim trunks that leave very little to the imagination. On the other hand, why he can’t keep a shirt on when he’s at the beach, whether it was that day where it was raining or it was hot as the pits of hell. You wish sometimes that you could be as confident as him when you’re in his presence. From your few visits to the beach this summer, when you stripped down to just your swimsuit, he was always very kind and sometimes you sensed his eyes on you. 

Pulling you from your memories, Harry’s voice comes back to you, waving you over to the canoe. “C’mon, love, let’s get a goin’,” he insists. “Ya wanna gett’in first?”

“I guess, but it’s kind of scary how much it moves.”

“‘s okay, you’ll be alright. Here, I’ll put my foot in t’ steady it. Gimme yer hand and you gett’in tha front and sit down. ‘ll be in tha back steerin’,” he tells you. He doesn’t have to ask twice for you to hold his hand, you think wistfully, stepping forward to do just that. Without a hitch, you take a seat in the front of the canoe, albeit the canoe rocking back and forth a few times from your weight and then Harry’s.

“Alright, grab yer paddle and I want ya t’ paddle once on each side. So, ya need t’ switch it up e’rytime. ‘ll take care o’ steerin’ but jus’ listen t’ what I say and we’ll be good. Alright, bird?”

“Okay,” you answer, the wood of the paddle smooth under your palms. You dip it into the water and paddle once on each side, soon pulling away from the dock with Harry’s voice in your ears. 

*

“‘m neva goin’ canoein’ with you again,” Harry tuts with a sigh, hoisting his backpack over his shoulder. 

“Neither am I, all you do is get me wet,” you reply, pulling at the hem of your t-shirt, airing it out as wet patches dot the fabric. 

“Yer shit at paddlin’, that’s why.”

“Yeah, I totally did it to myself,” you scoff, trekking up the inclined tarmac and away from the canoeing dock. A few seconds later, Harry’s phone rings and he steps away to answer it. Sighing, you walk away with crossed arms, remembering how he bitched about having to do all of the paddling. At times, he was joking and although you did your best, sometimes he was serious. Then, he thought it would be funny to splash water all over you with his paddle. The both of you laughed it off, but the end of the canoe trip was tense and you knew that the both of you were disappointed. Him, especially. 

With his voice escaping you the further you walk away, you soon come upon the boat landing where a long dock sits. Your eyes light up at the sight of a pair of geese swimming around the reeds hugging the shoreline. Your feet quicken when you spot the fuzzy yellow bodies of their few babies following them, and you take a seat on the end of the wooden dock to watch them. The disappointment and embarrassment from Harry’s planned canoe outing is fleeting as you admire the parent geese and their quacking babies swimming around looking for food. They had strayed away from you once you had sat down, but you remain quiet as you watch them. 

“‘s ‘bout time I found you. Ah, I see why ya wandered ova here. Aren’t they jus’ gorgeous?” Harry coos as his loud footsteps shake the dock at first, then they soften when he sees the geese who back away from him. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologize gently, sliding off your other sandal to set on the dock, until all that’s left on your body are your clothes and your suit underneath. The water is warm when you dip your feet in, kicking them back and forth. 

“‘s okay, I think I had my hopes too high.”

“Hey!” you argue, swatting his arm playfully when he takes a seat beside you. 

“I gotta realize not e’rybody can be as good at canoein’ as me,” he teases, slinging an arm around you to pull you against his chest. You scoff at him, pitching your shoulder into his chest, but his arm stays around you as his delightful giggle surrounds you. “They take such good care o’ their babies, don’ they?” he muses, eyes flitting to the geese who have begun to swim away, one of their heads underwater searching for food. 

You mumble a confirmation, flitting your eyes to Harry whose hat hair makes you smile. Thoughts about how good he always has taken care of you trickle into your mind as you now admire him. He runs a hand through his crazy curls, but his attempt to tame them is pointless. It’s even adorable how he squints at the geese, the sun shining off the water and into his bare eyes after the both of you had stuffed everything into his backpack before leaving the canoe. 

“Have they called you yet?” he questions casually, eyes following the geese who quack at their young. 

“Who?”

“Y’know who,” he replies, turning his head to look at you, the freckles standing out on his golden skin. His eyebrows fall as he looks back at you and then rise in a question. “Tha principal ‘bout yer interview.” 

“Oh, that who,” you answer, and he nods as he waits for you to continue. For some reason, you get to your feet and reach for your sandals, the geese swimming away in the distance now. “Yeah, they called this morning.”

“And what’d they say, bird?” Harry inquires, the dock squeaking as he too gets to his feet. You can hear it in his voice, the anxiousness and also excitement for your answer. 

You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly, sure that by now he’s thinking that your answer will be ‘no.’ He confirms that when he places a hand on your shoulder, his nickname for you falling from his lips. The second you turn around, you find his sad eyes imploring yours for the answer, but no longer can you hide your smile. 

“I got the job,” you announce softly in between grinning lips. Your smile only grows at the appearance of his that paints his entire face with a declaring ‘yes!’ escaping his lips. Your surprise and elation deepen when he picks you up and swings you around in a circle. 

“Ya get t’ work across tha hall from me, birdy! We get t’ be colleagues! Yes, ’m so excited,” he exclaims as you giggle into his chest, securing your arms around his neck as his sit around your waist. 

“Me too, you have no idea.”

“Bet ‘m mo’ excited than you are,” he argues, finally setting you down after you complained of getting dizzy. He giggles above you, his arms still around your waist. 

“I bet you aren’t.”

“Bet I am,” he disagrees, a hearty chuckle leaving his grinning lips. “I can’t wait, bird,” he muses happily, pulling you in for a hug. 

“Does this mean I’m forgiven for the crappy canoe ride then?”

“Ya, I can’t be mad at you right now,” Harry answers, his straight white teeth sparkling as he looks down at you happily. 

“Good. Let’s just hope we don’t get sick of each other too quickly.”

“Oh ‘m sure we will, bein’ across tha hall from eachotha. But that’s okay, cuz once we make up we’re only a few steps away from tha otha,” he decides and you nod as a finger twirls one of the curls falling against the back of his neck. “Me favourite coworker.”

“Mine too.”

“C’mon, let’s go ova t’ tha beach. I have those li’l bottles o’ wine in me bag I packed jus’ fer this. ‘ll even give ya a piggyback ride ova, bird,” he smiles, brushing his thumb across your flushed cheek. 

“You’ll regret it.”

“Nah, ‘m strong,” he teases in a deep voice that makes you laugh. He pecks you on the cheek surprisingly before walking away. “But you hafta carry me bag.”

You hum an ‘okay’ as you thread your arms through it and slide your sandals on, soon walking up to where he crouches at the end of the dock. Your giggles fill the air as he carries you across the hot tarmac on his back with his arms under your knees and your arms around his neck. 

The rest of your afternoon consisted of a nap or two on your towels beside the other, and one of them is interrupted when he scoops you into his arms to take you down to the water he throws you into. At one point, swimming out in the deep water by the tall buoys, Harry swims under you and sticks you on his shoulders amidst your protests. Although warm, the personal sized bottles of wine were a nice treat after your good news that kept the both of you glowing for the rest of the day. You got your wish and slathered sunscreen on him a few hours later, even down the slope of his tan back and across his multitudes of tattoos you somehow had missed. Your day was finished with a pizza and beers at Hewie’s before goodbye hugs, and you were sure this might be the best summer ever. You can’t even believe that soon you’ll have the best job ever, right across the hall from your favorite person in the world, and your new best friend. 

*

The memory fleeting, a nervous huff leaves your lips as you rifle through your plain backpack that you had pulled from your closet for this occasion. You shove a few more things from your desk into it, trying to blink back the exhaustion that tugs at your eyes. The zipping of the backpack is the only sound you hear as you stand at your desk, the chirping of birds an absence now in the winter. 

“Hiya, bird,” a voice murmurs from right behind you, causing you to jump out of your shoes. Harry’s giggle tickles your ears as his arms come around your waist. “I always love scarin’ you.” 

“I can tell,” you mumble, adjusting the list of names on the clipboard. His nose brushes against your cheek as you pluck a pen from the cup on your desk, clipping it to the sheet of paper. 

“Mmmm, how are ya this mornin’, bird? Only two more days ‘til I get t’ wake up t’ ya e’ryday, ‘m so excited.”

“So am I, and I’m good, just tired. How are you, babe?” you reply, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax in his strong arms. 

“‘m great, cuz I get t’ spend tha entire day with me birdy, and ‘s our five month anniversary.”

“Happy five months, and do we really get to spend the entire day together?” you reply, feeling his warm lips against your cheek where he plants kisses along your skin. 

“I think so. ‘s our field trip day t’day.”

“You better get all of those kisses out of your system before the students get here soon, or else it’s going to be an especially long day of faking it,” you announce, turning around in his arms and opening your eyes to find his sleepy ones. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” he smirks, dipping to press a long kiss to your lips. You giggle into it at first before savoring the way your lips move together effortlessly. 

“Yeah, get it all out before having to be around me all day without any touching,” you mumble against his plump lips. 

“Shhh, yer wastin’ precious time, bird, our students will be here soon,” he whines before pressing on the back of your head, returning your lips to his. 

He drags his teeth along your bottom lip as he pulls away with a smug giggle, smashing his lips against yours once more. Your hands roam across his chest and down the front of his army green quarter-zip, and then to his bum hugged by khakis. The second you saw him, you think this may be your new favorite outfit of his, and that he must do this to tease you. 

“I don’t know how I’ll keep my hands off you today in that outfit,” you tease him, sliding your hands into the back pockets of his pants as he giggles. 

“Yer not very innocent yerself, miss,” he concurs, dragging a finger down your spine covered in your maroon Columbia zip up. “Yer bum looks amazin’ in these pants, y’know. Jus’ beggin’ t’ be touched, love,” Harry finishes as his fingers follow his words to your ass that he squeezes firmly. 

You end his words with your lips atop his, the clean citrus scent always covering him returning to you. His giggles tickle your lips when he continues to trap your bottom lip between his teeth mischievously, leaving a sting on your skin after it leaves the confines. Soon, you’re the one giggling when your hands slide under the thick yet soft fabric of his sweater, finding the smooth feeling of his cream button-up underneath that you swiftly untuck. 

“Bird,” he mumbles in between hasty kisses, grabbing your attention with a quick pinch of your bottom. 

“What?” you snicker nonchalantly, sneaking a hand under the freed fabric, hearing him inhale when your fingernails drag down his warm chest. 

“Ya drive me crazy, y’know that?”

“It’s mutual,” you answer with a hiccup when his hand slaps your ass softly, followed by his giggling. 

When you both hear the beginnings of voices trailing from down the hall, sad sighs leave your lips before he whisks them away with a deep kiss. 

“Love you,” he murmurs with another peck. 

“I love you too,” you answer behind loving eyes, watching him swiftly tuck his button up back into his firm fitting khakis with a shake of his head. Unsurprisingly, you even find him doing that as handsome. It must be the attraction of domesticity, or something like that. “Happy five months.”

“Yay, ya finally got it right. Happy five months, birdy,” he giggles. “How’re ya gonna hide tha flowers, hmm?”

“I don’t know, I’ll just say they were from somebody else.”

“Nah, ya should say they’re from a guy and see how yer students squirm,” Harry suggests playfully, adjusting his quarter zip as he leaves your classroom. “Thanks for the help, Y/N, I’ll see ya on tha bus soon!” he calls to you from the hallway, soon greeting a student he meets in the hallway. 

The next half hour you find taking attendance and waiting to leave hard, and your impatience shines through. Many of your students are also feeling the same way, you find, and they’re showing signs of tiredness too. You only wish that you could get away with taking a little nap on the bus like you’re sure that they plan to, but alas you can’t as their teacher. 

Soon, you’re stepping onto the large coach bus that both of your classes have filled. Luckily, not all of your students had gone on the field trip, and so both classes fit on the bus, but you aren’t sure where to sit. You really didn’t want to spend two hours both ways sitting by a student, and you hoped it wouldn’t come to that. 

“Y/N, ova here!” a voice calls to you amidst the loud conversations filling the bus. You couldn’t be happier to find who said it, and how they pat the seat next to them at the front of the bus. “Come sit by me, already.” 

“I want the inside, Harry,” you respond with a grin, watching him stand up and try not to hit his head on the ceiling, letting you in. 

“Oooooo, Ms. Y/N and Mr. Styles are sitting together up front!” Sabrina exclaims, and several other students echo her comment. Rolling your eyes, you plop down onto the seat against the window, listening to Harry shushing them before the driver pulls away. 

“Ready fer Romeo and Juliet, love?” he mumbles to you, a smile climbing its way up his cheeks as his knee bumps into yours. You wish it could stay there, but already with the prying eyes of your many students, you know you can’t. Sometimes, this hide and seek game isn’t so much fun, you muse silently, knowing that it shows in your eyes and in his too. Surprisingly, you feel a hand on top of yours, and there’s a firm squeeze before it’s gone. “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” 

“Shut up, you dork,” you giggle, winking at him before you turn to look out the window, watching the high school slowly shrink behind you. 

“Mr. Styles is reciting Romeo and Juliet to Ms. Y/N! Ask her on a date already! Come on!” 

“Would ya lot quiet down? Bloody hell, go and watch Netflix on yer phones and leave us alone,” Harry calls teasingly to the bus full of teenagers as you shake your head, nudging your foot against his. “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.” 

“My Juliet,” he mouths to you, giving you a nod and your cheeks drown in a warm blush.

“Wherefore art thou, Romeo?” you whisper in response, raising your eyebrows at him, giggling when he points at his chest. 

“God, would you two date already?!” 

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader

Link to chapter two :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/613879271149223936/on-the-road-again

Warnings : None

Author’s note: HO BOY ! I can not believe I wrote so much in only one night.

3.      “ Text it Away “

The knot down your stomach was tightening with anxiety. 

You and your mother were at the grocery store , you were pushing around the shopping cart while your mother was talking to you , well at lest she pretend , but she just loves hearing herself talk , really. It seemed like a lot of families got the same idea than you, the mall was pretty crowded today. You were staring at your phone for the last ten minutes, wanting to text Gerard but had no idea how to start the conversation.

“Y/N are you even listening to me ?”

Your mom was staring at you disappointed.

“I’m sorry , you were saying?”

“We don’t get to spent much time together these days , could you even try to care ?”

You looked at your mom with a blank expression .

“So which book should I buy?” said your mom after a few seconds.

You realized that you were in the book section next to the music one.

“I don’t know . I don’t read that much.”

“And it’s a shame!”

You sighed , looking around you to set your eyes on the music section . You realized that next to the shelves of album was a life size cutout of Gerard . You started to laugh uncontrollably under the questioning look of your mom.

You asked your mom to take a picture of you in front of it doing the same posture that he did. You mom executed your request with a questioning look. After that both of you continued your shopping around the mall. You followed your mom , still hesitating on how to approach him. It was silly really, you were a grown up woman and you didn’t even knew how to write to one of your friends.

“Mom I’ll help pack the groceries to the car but meanwhile I think I’m gonna go get a coffee if that’s okay with you?”

Your mother sighed, her arms crossed over her chest.

“You may go. It’s not like you were paying attention to me anyway.” She said kind of tired.

You brushed it off and walked up to the exit of the market to land in the center of the huge mall. You put your headphone over your head not to hear any sounds . It was a special sounds blocking headphone often used to play drums. Your had a little smile on your lips finally tasting some calm after all this irritable noisy crowd. You took a hallway on your right already seeing the green neon of the Starbucks coffee . You weren’t a fan of them for a lot of reasons, but unfortunately it was the only coffee shop to provide a decent coffee in this mall.  You were listening to “The Regrettes” when you remembered you didn’t send the picture from earlier to Gerard.

You took your hands somewhat a little nervously , you suffered from social anxiety even though you knew how to hide it pretty well and appeared as an extrovert most of the time, but somehow being in your hometown didn’t help your anxiety .

-Hey look who I ran into today at the mall!

You texted to Gerard , making you cringe a little bit coz’ you sounded like a stereotypical mom who just texted her son on her way to her book literature club. But it’ll have to do right now.

You glanced at the window double checking, if anyone you knew from high school was there, when you checked that the perimeter was clear your phone buzzed .

It was Gerard

-Ho no … it’s so uncomfortable haha I didn’t even knew we had new ones installed in stores. Can you burn it alive for me pls ?

You smirk reading his text.

-No way , I think we’re becoming besties me and him . I will buy you one  , don’t worry, it’s on me , I know of much you wanted one . 😉

You breath out through your nose , laughing silently to yourself.

-You’re aware that if you do buy it , I’ll throw it in the garbage can , right?

A slight smile played on your lips while sipping on your coffee before it got cold.

-You mean your bed ?

As you waited his answer you glanced around the Starbucks to find it much more full of people . Most of them around your age . Sure where else were they gonna buy coffee from? I mean they probably don’t even know how to cook an egg , so a coffee must be a little too ambitious. An echo of a buzz made itself known before you even realized it .

-That’s low, even coming from you.

-Well I mean you understood it all , Way. Into your bunk you have breakfast and dessert reunited , it’s a win-win situation you got there , you can jerk off, sleep and eat in the same place , sounds pretty magical to me!

“Would you look at that ! L/N in bones and flesh! So what as you come back piggy ?”

You were so into your discussion with Gerard that you didn’t pay attention to your surroundings . Just your luck, Tyrell decided to take a fucking coffee at the same time than you , you hoped the gang wasn’t here , you didn’t want to have to staple a fake smile on your face for over thirty minutes.

“Tyrell hi. Can you not call me piggy please?” You breathed out trying to contain yourself and stay calm.

“Ho but babe it suits you so perfectly.” He said starting to take a seat in front of you.

Anxiety at this point wasn’t even enough to describe your mental state.

“Okay once and for all don’t call me piggy,babe,honey or any nicknames. You know living in the past can’t do you any good” You sat down the cup you just finished, looking him dead in the eyes.

“Well highschool’s not so long ago since you still look the same . So you haven’t given up music ? I mean you should think about doing a stable job now, you can’t dream all your life Y/N.” He said cockily .

“And remind me … What is your job ? Dealer right ?”

He chuckled a little, his arrogance radiating from him.

“I’m a lawyer student now.”

“Sweet o’ sweet irony.” At this your phone buzzed.

He glanced toward your phone , curiosity getting the best of you, you looked down at your phone.

-You should take notes ;p I could teach you my secret.

Gerard. You had forgotten you were texting him in the first place, since Mr.Dickhead had judge wise to come annoying you.

-Don’t even take credit for it , pretty sure it’s Frank fault . He’s the one with the magic. Maybe it should’ve been him on the life size cutout ?

You sighed remembering Tyrell was in front of you. Starring. Like a creep.

“Well it was an incredible thing to see you , but I actually have a thousand things better to do than talking to you.”

You took your cup ready to leave before he got the chance to talk back.

“Y/N !!!” A sudden voice called you. Ho no. The gang is here.

Your old group of friends were facing you and Tyrell , before you could do any move , you were wrapped up in a big hug by the girl who literally just yelled your name across the coffee.

“Hey what’s up Y/N ?” said the boy to the left side of the girl . Mallon .

“Well I’ll be better if Julia here would stop trying to hug the life out of me.”

Julia at your words stopped hugging you pouting like a child.

“You never give us news about you so it’s only fair .” replied Robert who was standing on the right of Julia.

“Not sure having me be dead would give you more new-“Your phone cut you off buzzing once again.

-Hey I help making the magic happen ! Next time you should come give us a hand 😉 And I’ll give him my place any time haha

Your cheek took a deep shade of red at the proposition. You chuckled a little to yourself at that. Replying immediately.

-You should have asked sooner , it’s always a pleasure to help a friend in need ! I hope when you’ll find one of my crumbs , you’ll think of me . And maybe you’re helping Frank in putting crumbs in your bunk but let’s be honest here … you’re just Frank’s assistant , he’s the real superstar here.

“Who’s Gerald?” Surprised you Julian creeping over your shoulder way too close . When did she even came all the way around you ?

“Could you respect something called personal space?” You replied a little harshly . But still , she did creep out looking at your texts.

She took a step back mumbling a tiny ‘sorry’ before asking the same question.

“Sooo…Who’s Gerald?”

“It’s Gerard for one and-“

“Is it Gerard Way?” Asked Mallon bluntly. You raised an eyebrow at him a little taken aback .

“Isn’t he in my Chemical Romance ?!” Added Julia a little too excited for it to be not without any expectations .

“Yeah… It’s like ….The lead singer or something right?” Asked Robert , much more calmly with a blank expression. Tyrell was looking way too interested in the matter . Now all four eyes of your ancient friends were on you.

“Huh Yeah he is . Mall how the hell do you even know who’s Gerard , I’m texting to ? Could be any other Gerard really!”

“Well, aren’t you like working with him?” Said Mallon before taking a large gulp of his drink.

“Haha ! So I was right your just useless in the music industry ! What even is your job ? Your in charge of bringing them refill of water bottles and shit?” Said with a vicious expression Tyrell, crossing both of his arms across his chest.

“No dude! She’s like the opening band of My chem.” Said Robert still with a blank expression . But with a little bit of venom in his tone. You and Robert used to be close, so you weren’t all that surprised to have him take your side.

“C’mon let’s sit guys, Y/N what about another free drink on me ?” He added , while the others were sitting in the seats . Before you could respond anything he took by the arm and lead you to the queue leading to the counter.

“You didn’t even let me-“ you started before being cut off for what felt like the dozen time this day.

“Were you really gonna say no to a free drink ? Even with you touring along a band like my chemical romance I can tell it doesn’t pays all that much.”

“What makes you so sure about yourself young men?” You said sounding somewhat a little flirty . Shit. He raised an eyebrow at that. But you brushed it off acting as if it always was your goal to come off as flirty.

“Well…What you seem to forget is that I actually know you Ms./N unlike the three idiots back there. If you’re in our sweet old hometown it isn’t to pay us a visit . Not when your mom’s home… We’ve crossed paths on our way down here.” He said giving you a glimpse of a smile , pointing his thumb in his back in direction of Julia, Mallon and Tyrell. You stared at them thinking.

Julia was small and curvy with cherry hair color and was dressed entirely in black with a yellow tote bag on her left shoulder . A plugging V neck black T-shirt associated with a black skinny jeans and classic vans. She had her cherry hair in a ponytail and was wearing a deep shade of read on her lips with liner and mascara to compliment her brown eyes . Tyrell still had his classic brown frizzy hair a perfect tan and brown eyes. He was wearing a jean jacket covered in pins a white shirt and black jeans with deep red docs. Mallon on his side had changed his hair color opting for a neon orange , he had curly hair just like Julia’s, wore glasses and was a little chubby. He wore a leather jacket with a forest green sweatshirt and black skinny jeans with massive new rocks.

You glanced up at Robert who was rolling a cigarette . He had still the same straight blond hair in a buzzcut, lip piercing. He was wearing a large dark shirt with cuts in random places , grey skinny jean, black converses, black fingernails and a large silver chain around his neck. The only thing that seemed new were tattoos sleeves on both arms and not entirely complete. It was somewhat comforting to know he hadn’t change all that much.

Your phone buzzed.

-          Ho man, He always was, was he? Maybe I should just give up the place of lead singer to him, and let him the superstar he always was…

A huge smile was stretching across your lips.

-          Hell no, it’ll be chaotic to have you as rhythm guitarist or guitarist, period! Just stick to the basis, love. Or else your band would be over before you can even play a live show.

You returned your attention to Robert who still was waiting a response. You truly wanted to prove him wrong but you knew, it would be stupid , to try denying it to him.

“Yeah… Well at least I have a job Ro’. “ You exhaled dramatically at him.

“ Yeahhhh well I also ben happening to have a job Y/N/N”

“What ? Wait, really? You dropped out of college ? What’s your job? “

“Yeah design school wasn’t what I thought y’know? The people there were all so fake. Didn’t like it too much like high school , and I didn’t graduated to end up in a working place with the same mindset. I’m a security guard for now but I’m taking part-time classes in a marketing school. I want to open my own music label someday.”

“Woaw… Man that’s huge . I mean it’s like awesome if that’s your dream I’m just surprised . But I guess I shouldn’t be since you’re here and your design school was in London so it makes sense I guess.”

Your phone buzzed.

-          Ho really now ? Is that why you’re starring, every time, I’m playing guitar? Is it because I’m such an painful sight to the human eye , now?

Your face grew hotter once again as you typed your response before embarrassing yourself further.

-          Yeah it’s so awful that I’ve been trying to subtly tell you to never play guitar again for the past months . Guess you never took the hint.

You drew back your attention at Robert .

“By the way Ro’ , what are you even doing with them? I though we’ve left the band at the same time…?”

He looked unsure of what to say next .

“We did Y/N, we did… I just. I came back , and you were gone y’know? All of my other friends were gone too. I was all by myself and it seemed to be the only people to have stick ‘round so I’ve just started to hang out with them again.”

The waitress asked what you both wanted to have before you were able to think of a sentence. She gave an unhappy glance at Ro’s cigarette tucked unlit on the corner of his pinched pink lips.

“Your names please?”

You shared a knowing look with Ro’ before saying yours first.

“Kurt” She wrote as you said on the empty cup.

“Cobain” finished your friend with a shitty grin plastered over his face as the waitress rolled her eyes.

Once you both had your cups in hand you headed toward the exit of the Starbucks , Ro’s explaining to the other that he wanted to take a smoke. You headed for the parking lot.

“Tyrell’s still mad at me though.”

“What , seriously? God, I whish I didn’t slept with him at this party . Seriously I was just so drunk plus it was so long ago. He’s just jealous. He called me piggy again.”

“Well I’m not complaining , was worth it. Yeah I know that’s just his shitty jealousy , I mean after all , I get it, he had slept with you one night. I ,on the other side , had been with you for two years so I clearly won over this asshole.”

“You sure did haha.” Comfortable Silence filled your conversation .

Your phone buzzed. Right. Gerard. You’ll check later .

“Can I have a shot on yours?” You said glancing at his cigarette.

He handed you the end.

“Y/N it was nice to see ya . I’m gonna join them, take care.” He said kissing you on both cheeks .

“Huh Yeah , you too dude.” You watched him getting further away as you were ending his cigarette , before smashing it against the cold pavement.

“HEY RO’! LET’S HANG OUT BEFORE I GO ?” You asked yelling across the parking lot. You smiled happily as he raised a thumb up.

Once he disappeared into the mall , you took a look at your texts.

-          Ho was it now? Yeah , right I’m probably getting’ ideas. Well Frank’ll have to stick as the rhythm guitarist then. Oh man, he’s gonna be so disappointed . Guess I’ll be the one to break the news to him, he’s gonna be so disappointed not the be the next superstar of the band.

You laughed a little, taking the path leading to your mom’s car , texting your response .

-          Don’t fool yourself he still is the superstar .

-          Well , how come he isn’t he the one on the cutouts then?

-          Coz’ he’s one generous motherfucker. And It’s because your music label’s been distributing cutouts of you all across the country as a joke for your second album. But then they realized you believe it for real and they haven’t had the heart to break your dreams so they stick to it making you believe it was real and everybody’s been playing along since then. The fans are being paid to make you believe they cheer for you when they usually cheer for Frank obviously.

Your mom was just done putting away the groceries in the back of the car when you opened the passenger’s door.

-          Gotta to admit sounds like him haha. And what about Ray and Mikey in all of that ? And I don’t want to rain on your parade but I’m pretty sure they sometimes cheer for me along with Mikey and Ray.

Your mom started the car.

“Oh guess who I came across in the mall? Robert! I mean he was also with a girl and a boy but I didn’t knew them.”

Your mom never met them, because of her job. She wasn’t around long enough to meet most of your friends.

“You and Robert were the cutest I remember! Such a polite young man and good looking too! Aren’t you getting lonely always on the road like this? I hope you’ll meet someone, you know it shouldn’t stop you from looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend-

You sunk down on your seat , turning to face the window, looking down at your phone drowning the rambling of your mom .

Your phone buzzed.

-          What about you?

You frowned at your screen .

-          What about me ?

-          Well are you getting paid to cheer for me?

-          I’m the most paid one coz’ I have to put up with your bullshit after the show too.

-          Right so you’re some kind of a creepie groupie then.

-          You wish . I don’t think you can call me a groupie if I’m paid for faking it , call me a talented actress.

-          You mean a infamous one since you’re so desperate for work you accepted to be paid to pretend to like a band in which you don’t even like the lead singer.

-          Touché…

-          Unless you actually like the lead singer you pretend to hate ?

[peaky-malachai]

﹒☼﹒

UPON RETURN ⎟  T. SHELBY

﹒♱﹒

✒︎requested: no i just loved the gif ✒︎warnings: swearing & narcotics + mentions of blood, bruises & violence && lots of tension ✒︎word count: 5000+ ✒︎season set: 1

[originally posted on my wattpad, bc idk how to post via tumblr but we tryin’. feedback majorly appreciated x]

﹒♱﹒

You took a deep breath as you lifted your bruised and dried bloody knuckle to the oh so familiar door. A thousand thoughts racing through your mind as you tapped your foot, both with impatience and disconcertment of what consequences would follow. 

You had moved to Small Heath at the age of seven, give or take, your father had got a job promotion which meant moving up country. When you first arrived you were known as 'The Cockneys At The Bottom Of Watery Lane'. You weren't even from London. You just happened to live near the capital. Not that anyone cared.

When you started school it was the same, only worse. All the girls would pick on you for speaking funny and the boys would pick on you for being too 'brash'. It wasn't your fault your parents had raised you to not take any shit. With your fathers line of work, he wasn't around an awful lot which mean you and your mother had to do a lot of things yourself. Which you, of course, didn't mind but it did mean that a lot of people would be confused and usually straight up rude.

They'd say things along the lines of, 'Whys a women doing this' and, 'Are women even capable of doing that', and so on, when you and your mother were doing the simplest of things.

Anyway, when you joined the school in Small Heath you found that being a girl with her head held high and strong arms wasn't easy.

One day you were minding your own business under the oak tree in the corner of the playground, reading Oliver Twist, if you remember correctly. When out of nowhere a group of kids made their way over to you; three girls and about five boys, all looking irritated.

"Wot ya doing, girl?", a boy with a scarf on asked you.

You rolled your eyes, turning to look at him as you put your bookmark in your book, "I have a name, you know?".

The boy scowled, "I don't care".

'What do you want?', you asked again, looking at the rest of them, "I'm busy".

A girl took a step forward, her hands behind her back as her plaits fell in front of her shoulders, "Just wanted to know why you're such a freak?".

You laughed, "I'm not a freak", you stood up.

"Yeah you are", a little boy from the back spoke up, "Ya read all the time n wear trousers". Another girl nodded, "Yeah girls don't wear trousers, they're for boys, ya freak".

"Girls can wear trousers too, you know?", you crossed your arms, "They're actually really comfortable".

The first boy that spoke to you shook his head, "I bet you wear trousers coz your mum n dad can't afford dresses, ay?", he said as he turned to look at his friends.

You didn't think twice before you lunged forward and brought the boy to the ground, "Fuck did you just say?", you spat as his friends gasped. When the boy didn't answer you shook him by his collar a little, "Didn't hear you".

"I said", he spoke, "You're poor and a freak of a girl", he sniggered.

You narrowed your eyes and lifted your fist before hitting him in the nose. He yelled and pushed you, knocking you slightly but you didn't fall over.

The kids started shouting "Fight... Fight... Fight...", causing a crowd of other kids to come running.

Soon enough you had hit him about four times before you heard an older voice, "Wots going on 'ere then?". You turned around to see three boys in flat caps, the voice belonging to the tallest.

"Wot's it look like?", you said, "I'm beating him u-", you were cut off as the boy beneath you grabbed one of your braids, yanking you down to the floor with him.

You quickly kicked him in the stomach before the three boys grabbed you and held you back, the other boy groaning in pain.

Walking you away as you shouted the boys laughed.

"Wot's your name then?", the smallest one asked as they sat you on a bench. You kept your chin up as you studied them, "Y/N", you narrowed your eyes, " 'ho uh you's then?".

The other two boys looked at each-other and chuckled before turning back to you, "That", they motioned to the smallest boy, "Is John". You nodded. "I'm Arthur", the tallest said before turning to the boy in the middle, "And this is-".

"I'm Tommy", he said as he held his hand out for you to shake, "These are my brothers".

You shook his hand and sat up straighter, "So Wot?", you began, "Yous the topdogs 'ere or sumin?", you asked.

They laughed as John spoke, "Yeah! We're the best here". Tommy gently shoved his brother, "Shut up, John", he said and looked back to you, "We're not yet, but no one messes with us if that's what you mean".

You nodded again, "So can I join your little gang?".

Arthur laughed, "Well you're not a Shel-", his brother Tommy cut him off.

"That's what I wanted to speak to you about actually, Y/N".

You smiled, "So that's a yes?".

John looked over to his older brothers, "Oh please, she's funny!".

Arthur looked back to you, "Where'd you live?", he asked you.

"Wa'ery Lane", you told him, "'bout a month now".

"Oh you're that girl", he said, "She's the cockney down the bottom of the Lane", he nudged Tommy.

"Alright we'll come and see you after school and you can join us", Tommy smiled.

You jumped to your feet and stood on your tippy-toes to be at the same height as Tommy, "Nah", you simply said as you watched his eyebrows furrow, "I'll meet yous, by the bridge at 'alf three", alright?".

Tommy sighed, "Deal". The two of you spat on your hand and shook on it.

The rest was history. You and the three brother became best friends.  Wherever you went, they followed and whoever they met up with, so did you.

You and John were the same age, you two were practically the same, it was hilarious. As you grew up you and John would always be playing pranks on the others and messing around with baby Micheal. No one left the two of you alone because they knew something would end up alight.

As for Arthur and Tommy, you all got on well. Whenever anyone messes with you, a seldom occurrence, they wouldn't mind paying them a quick visit. You helped Arthur with his maths and various other things as often as you could, although you didn't tell everyone about that, he wasn't proud.

As for Tommy, you two always loved to talk about the bigger picture and such. Often you two would walk down to the Canal or Charlie's Yard and spend a good few hours just talking about life and theories and your life aspirations.

By the time you and John were 18 your life had changed a lot, along with his. Of course you were still close friends but what with work and relationships you didn't see him as much as you would've liked. The same with Arthur, he always seemed to be busy, doing what you weren't sure exactly but when you did see him you'd always stop for a chat.

You saw Tommy most, he always made a point of stopping into the Newsagents you worked at, just to say good morning. You appreciated the gesture but couldn't help but feel as if you were wasting his time, you were always so busy trying to set up for the day you never got a minute to sit and chat with him.

As you had grown older, yours and Tommy's relationship had shifted slightly. Not that either of you dared to acknowledge, but you knew. You were both guilty of finding excuses to be around each-other and touch one another. Purposely bickering to clear a room of Shelby's out so that you were alone. Stealing glances whilst the other weren't paying attention. Just silly little things that you would try and pass off as platonic intimacy as you laid in bed at night overthinking every single word you said to the man that day... and every other day you'd ever known him.

Of course you wondered if he felt the same. It felt like he did but you could just be imagining that. And you weren't prepared to ruin what you had just because of some silly crush.

However come the end of 1913 your father was now too old to do the job he had moved here to do. And your mother missed her home town and family and as one thing led to another and they decided it was time to move back.

Of course you were devastated, you loved your job even though it was more than trouble then it was worth and you loved your friends. But you were also excited to go back, of course you had been back, Christmas and Easter and what not. But you missed living there, the bustle, the accents, the opportunities and fast changing trends.

So that's what happened, you spent your last few weeks making the most of it with the Shelby's and your job before the day you left came around. You promised you'd visit, and of course you would. You promised to write, and of course you went out and brought new writing pens and paper.

By the time you were settled back into your hometown war had broken out and it seemed almost every man you knew here was off to war. The brothers back in Birmingham as well. You couldn't bare to think about the consequences of that. You still kept in touch with all three of them though.

Until you didn't.

Around a month after the boys were back from the war the letters stopped coming. You weren't sure why or how but they did. So you stopped writing. Your pride was to big to just simply write to Aunt Pol and ask if everyone was ok incase they were and they just didn't like you.

So how did you get to knocking on their betting shop front doors at 11 o'clock at night?

The door opened after you had began knocking constantly after a minute of waiting.

"The fock do ya wan-", a deep voice began before releasing who they were speaking to.

You looked up, almost shocked, "Fuckin' 'ell, Arthur, you ain't 'alf grown since a last saw ya", you let out a strained chuckle as you looked at the man who seemed to be stunned.

"You gunna let me in or should I just bleed out over your shop front?", you joked dryly, "Don't think it'd be good for business".

"Uh yeah", he said as he shook his head, "No come in, yeah, just watch your step, it's busy". You furrowed your eyebrows as you stepped past him, it was 11 at night why would it be busy?

It was though. The entire room was full of people racing back and forward, counting money, writing numbers, sneaking an extra line now that Arthur had his back turned.

"There's a race tomorrow", Arthur told you as he placed a hand around your shoulder, "Now come on, let's get you fixed up, and then you can tell me what the fock happened to ya hands".

You nodded and followed him through the busy shop, keeping your head. Avoiding catching anyone's eye. Someone's eye.

"Polly!", Arthur shouted as he closed the green doors behind you, "Ay! Polly! Ada! Get down 'ere!".

"Sorry, am I causing you trouble, I didn't mean to end up here I just sort of- did?", you mumbled to Arthur, nervously.

"Wot you on about? You're always welcome here Y/N, you know that", he smiled before shouting for Polly once more. "And besides, this is a great time coz Tommy needs a fucking cheering up", he said as he pulled out a chair at the table for you to sit at.

You looked down at the table as you carefully held your hands above it, trying not to ruin it, "Is that so", you began, "dunno if I can help with that mate".

Arthur reached forwards and tilted your chin up to face him, "I hope for both our sakes that ain't true, you're the only hope left, Y/N", he said honestly.

"Wot do'ya mean?", you asked quietly.

Before he could reply you heard two squeals from behind Arthur. Looking up you saw Polly and Ada, and a little boy following behind.

"Y/N!", Polly said as she lifted her hands in the air, "You're here! You're well", she smiled as she walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your side.

"Oh my god", Ada said as she walked over to the other side of you.

"Wot the fuck happened to ya-" Polly asked as she grabbed an old tea towel and placed it carefully under your hands.

"To make a long story short", you forced a smile, "I thought it would be a good idea to find the man that burgled my parents", you cut yourself off with a 'fuck' as Ada began tending to your bruises, "And let's just say.. it wasn't".

Arthur sat up straight, "Can't be that bad", he laughed, "What'd'ya kill him or something", he joked, making light of the situation.

You licked your bottom lip, not saying anything for a moment before looking up from your hands to Arthur's face with a gulp.

"Wait you-", he began.

"You fucking killed someone!", Ada raised her voice in shock.

"Who's killed who then?", A chirpy voice asked as they walked in the room. You knew that voice from a mile off.

"John?", you called out, "John is that you, come 'ere", you said as you tried your best to turn towards the direction of the voice but Ada and Polly were blocking your view.

"Oh fuck off", John said as he pulled out a chair next to Arthur and next to you, "You didn't come and see me first! I'm offended" he joked, "When did you get back?", he beamed as he leant onto the table, hands clasped, "How are you? Any crazy stories to tell me coz I've got loads and- The fock happened to your hand?", John besieged you with questions.  

You laughed, "Yeah, missed you too, mate", you said simply as you looked back down at your hands which were stinging now as Polly cleaned them with neat alcohol.

"So do you wanna go down the Garrison after this then?", John simply asked you, ignoring the fact you were being patched up and hadn't seen him since 1913. It was as if you hadn't even spend half an hour apart let alone five or so years.

You looked up with a beaming smile across your red lips, "Fuck kind of a question is that .. of course I do, John".

Arthur cheered as he got up and reached up on top of the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whisky. Finding a few small glasses he poured out some drinks, passing them around. John holding yours as both your hands were currently being worked on.

"To this one", Arthur said as he ruffled your hair slightly, just like he had to when you were kids (which you hated, but now it seemed comforting), before everyone cheered slightly and downed their drink.

"Who we toasting to this time then, ay?", a quite deep voice spoke from across the room. Arthur turned around in shock, spilling the bottle of whiskey over that he had brought over and left on the table. "Oh fuck sake Tommy, look what you made me do!", he shouted.

"You fucking idiot", Polly complained as she looked up, "I brought that whiskey to drink, not wash the floor with!".

John burst out laughing as he watched Arthur scuttle around trying to find something to soak it up with. As Ada left your side to help her brother, you looked up back to where the voice had come from.

Thomas.

You gulped softly, running your eyes over the man across the room. He seemed colder, more mature but rather in a sense that he had lost any grip on hope or joy. A contrast to how John seemed. As you looked back up to his face you blushed as you realised he was already staring back at you.

He walked over as he took his cap off, shoving it into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette.

He sat down at the table, stealing Arthur's seat, who was still trying to apologise to Polly for spilling her drink.

"Bet you're glad to be back", Tommy joked dryly as he placed his cigarette in his mouth and nodded in your direction as he pulled out out a light.

You smiled, "Yeah, I definitely missed this", you said sincerely, looking over at everyone, "Whatever 'this' is", you laughed, looking back over at Tommy.

Everyone pretended to still be busy as they all secretly listened in on the exchange between the two of you - amazed that Tommy had even cracked a smile.

"Right, well that should be fine now", Polly tapped your shoulder, "Just don't get into any fights for about a week, at least", she smiled before walking off, taking Ada and Arthur with her. Leaving John who was playing with his thumbs.

"So the Garrison yeah?", you looked over at your best mate, "tonight?".

"Yeah", he smiled, "I'll buy the first round".

You tilted your head with narrowed eyes, "Don't you practically own the pub", you asked as the smell of Tommy's cigarette filled your nose, in a weird sense it was comforting to you.

John nodded with a shrug, "So you won't be buying it then, will you?", you laughed, "And I will".

"Yeah something like that", he laugh as he stood up, "That's what you get for leavin' us".

"Yeah, coz it's not like you went away to war or anything anyway", you shouted after him as he walked off, acting offended. You let out a quiet snort as you watched.

"Why didn't ya visit?", Tommy spoke after a moment, "Y'know, when we got back".

"Yous stopped writing", you said plainly, "So I thought yuh didn't wanna see me", you shrugged as you looked down at your bruised hands.

"We didn't stop.. you stopped", Tommy leant back in his chair.

"Um, No", you furrowed your eyebrows, "I didn't stop writing first, why would I've done that", you argued.

Tommy shook his head slightly, blowing smoke out as he rubbed his temples, "I know what happened". You looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain. "Someone stopped delivering our letters and stealing yours when they got here", he leant forward, looking down at your hands, clenching his jaw, "Wot happened?".

"But- But why would someone do that?", you asked, ignoring his question.

"Dunno", he said and thought for a moment, "I'll ask Finn, he used to collect our post and such".

"Finn?", you raised your eyebrows, "Oh my god, is Finn the boy that- oh my god he's so grown up now!", you gasped.

Tommy smiled, "Shot up when we all went away, didn't he?". You nodded, shifting in your seat, turning towards Tommy slightly as you leant back.

"What happened?", Tommy asked again, in reference to your hands. You watched as he brushed away any dirt on the table, not wanting anything to get lodged in your cuts even if they were now covered and treated. You studied his hands now, all the small marks left from old cuts and gashes.

"Um", you didn't know where to start, "Just after the war ended, y'know, everyone settling back in best they could, everyone still disorientated", you absentmindedly began tapping your foot under the table as you continued. Tommy noticed but kept quite. "Well this man, I knew him actually — right cock'ead, worked at the butchers and spied on all the school girls when they walked 'ome", you grimaced, "So yeah anyway, it was a Wednesday evening, I'd popped round to me parents 'ouse, just two roads away from mine, and um", you licked your bottom lip, lightly biting the skin on the inside.

"When I got- when I got there they were both knocked out cold, only just fuckin' breathin'", you shook your head as you remembered, your tapping growing louder, "That's when I realised someone was in thee 'ouse". Tommy held his chin high as he tried to contain his displeasure, not only had this mysterious man caused you pain but also your parents - who he knew well and respected.

"So I goes up stairs and the pig is filing though my mothers jewellery box ain't he?", you laughed dryly to yourself, "Only to realise everything is sentimental and barely worth a fuckin' thing", you cursed.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, unsure of what to say but he wanted to comfort you, even if he was a little late. He didn't get the chance as you began speaking again, the anger in your voice more present.

"I mean what the fuck did he think was gonna be there? Fucking Faberge Eggs? We're livin' on the outskirts of London for fucks sake", you wanted to clench your fists but it would ruin everything Polly had just achieved, instead you decided to throw your head back and angrily  shout 'fuck'.

Tommy stifled a laugh as he watched you so desperately want to lash out, "So what did you do?".

You lifted your head back up slowly and looked over at Tommy, dead in the eyes, "I told him to fuck off and never come back", you simply said, adding, "With a butchers knife in my hand, and a pistol in the other".

Tommy took a long drag of his cigarette as he looked at you, "And people say I'm threatening", he joked.

Shrugging with a small smirk you leant forward, crossing your legs in hopes of stopping yourself from tapping them. "Anyway, he left with his hands up and then I never saw him again".

Tommy butted his cigarette in the ashtray and folded his arms, ready to hear the gruesome end to your story.

"That was until I obviously tracked him down, I wasn't going to let him get away with hurting my parents".

"Did it take long?".

"No", you looked down at your hands once more, "I found him in a day or two, moved up to Coventry .. I went up to visit him once a month— secretly of course, just to make sure he was still there and what no", you raised your eyebrows before you spoke, "And then today I decided he was finally comfortable, my threats of finding him finally at the back of his mind".

Tommy looked you over as you sat, one leg still bouncing as your thumbs rolled over one another, your bottom lip a piece of meat to your top teeth as little bits of your lipstick began to wear off.

"I'll spare you the gore but let's just say he got more then I intended to give him and now he's resting in his own fire pit", you smiled sinisterly as you looked up to Tommy. "I feel bad of course, I guess", your smile faded, "But he deserved it, and it wasn't as if he had any family that cared about him".

Tommy took a short breath, straightening his back and smoothing his waistcoat down before looking at you with a concerned look.

"Wot?", you asked as you saw the look in his eye, "Look, if you're going to ask any questions about my well being- don't .. I'm clearly fine, aren't I?".

"What about the stuff that's not obvious", Tommy said lowly, "Why are you really here? Hmm?", he leant forward, adjusting your bloodied shirt cuffs, "I'm sure you could find many people to patch you up, and better then Pol too", he joked.

"Ay don't discredit Pol, she did a great job", you changed the subject. "And anyway", you carefully stood up, standing behind your hair as you pushed it under the table with your hip, "It's easy to hide in plain sight here".

Tommy watched you as you walked over to their sink, turning on the tap and bending to drink the water. The prospect of filling and holding a cup in your bandages wasn't looking fun right now. Tommy held back a giggle as he raised a brow at your behaviour, "How so?".

You turned around, leaning on the kitchen surface, "Well not only do I just have to put some coal on me and call it day, my best mate is the leader of arguably one of the most powerful organised gangs in the country, no one would dare give me up", you smirked.

"You reckon John's in charge?", Tommy stood up, leaving his chair untucked as he walked over to you, placing his hands either side of your waist, "Is is that what he's told you".

You gulped with a playful expression still on your face, "Well Arthur's too hot-headed and you're too collected, Johns a mix of both", you half lied, just to test Tommy's patience. He narrowed his eyes with a sly smirk upon his lip.

"You don't think that", he said simply.  

"Says who?".

"You".

"Well I literally just said the opposite so I don't exactly understan-".

Tommy cut you off as he leant closer, his hands subconsciously moving closer to your body as they glided across the surface edge, "Your body language", he said as if it was obvious, "Your heart".

You let out a loud dry laugh, trying to outwit him as you held your chin high, feigning confidence, "What do they say then? Because my brain is saying that you're embarrassed by my opinions".

"Well for starters you've ended up in my old house, pinned to a surface by me", Tommy took a shallow breath as he stood up straight, now his chest was practically touching yours, "Not John", he looked down into your eyes, holding your gaze, "Not Arthur, and not Jack from down the lane who used to flirt with you every fockin' chance he got".

You bit your lip, praying that no one would interrupt this, wanting to see how far it could go.

Of course you had thought about this before. You and Tommy. The way you both bounced off of eachother so well, the way you never felt awkward around eachother, the way you just understood eachother. Tommy and You. Of course you had thought about his lips on yours before, his hands on your waist- around your neck. The two of you cuddled up after a long day of running the betting shop. It had occupied the small space at the back of your mind since you were fourteen. You ignored it best you could though.

But over time that small space had become bigger, migrating to the front of your brain. And after all of your hard work getting it to shut up whilst you were back home, you had to come back to Birmingham and run into him. He had to ruin it and make you fall for his rubbish all over again.

Or maybe you came to Birmingham for that exact reason. Shit. He was right.

"No, you're in front of me", He said as you looked back into his eyes, "And I think we both know why".

"Do we?".

Tommy narrowed his eyes a playful smirk grew upon his lips, he chuckled to himself quietly, just above a whisper, "You know what your problem is?", he asked.

You shook your head a little, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid you would give in to him first.

"You're too stubborn, your ego is the size of a circus".

You furrow you're eyebrows with a gasp, "Am not!", you childishly defended yourself, "What makes me stubborn then, huh?".

"The fact you won't admit you've come here to see me".

"Well in actual fact, if I had come to see anyone, it would be John", you raised an eyebrow, "But as I said, I just ended up here and I'm glad I did because Polly is the only other person besides from my mum that I'd trust to patch me up".

Tommy returned back to his infamous imperturbable expression as he looked at you, "Why aren't you with John Boy now then? Ay?", he pressed, "Why aren't you terrorising Harry with him down at the Garrison?".

You shrugged, "Maybe", you smirked, "Maybe because you've trapped me in this godforsaken little kitchen because you're to scared to admit that you fancy me", you flushed a little as you finished your sentence, your heart racing as you wondered if this was the end of you and Tommy. Whatever you and Tommy was.

Tommy clenched his jaw, his eyes darting from your eyes, to your chest, to your hands, to your lips. "Well go on then", he stepped back, leaving you just enough space to walk away, "Go off and play with John then".

You frowned, eyes narrowed as you wondered if he was being serious, it was hard to tell with him.

You pushed yourself off of the counter, closing the gap between you both again as you stood as tall as you could. Your nose practically touching his chin as you looked up to him. "Fine", you said coldly, "I'll see you later then, after I'm done catching up with John", you quickly turned and headed for the front door before you could fall victim to Tommy's eyes again.

"And my Gin", you shouted before the door slammed shut behind you.

Damn both of your conceit.

﹒♱﹒

✒︎author note: part two? + plus plz comment any spelling mistakes etc ✒︎requests: open 09/2019

~ published: 29.10.2019 ~

﹒☼﹒

[mona-stay]

Maybe it is love! - Crowley

Prompt/challenge - #5 “I wasn’t actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.” Written for @lifelovelaughangell123 writing challenge Warnings slight angst Story

Crowley and Dean sat at the bar, it was something they hadn't done since Dean's demon days. However both of them secretly enjoyed the moment even if neither of them were about to admit it.

The reason for this drink wasn't because they both wanted hang out, no! Y/n name had been kidnapped and both demon and hunter were looking for her. Crowley said he knew someone who might know her whereabouts and had arranged to meet him at the bar.

Dean stired at the clock on the wall, each tick of the second hand was deafening. The longer the he sat there the more anxious he became. He turned to look at Crowley who didn't look phased, he sat with a calm look on his face like it was a normal Saturday afternoon in the pub. 

"how can you sit so calmly? How do you know this isn't a waste of time?" Dean asked annoyed that his baby sister was missing and Crowley looked like he didn't care. "because if this demon knows what's good for him he wouldn't of called with nothing, also what a way to get in the Kings good books information on a Winchester and how should I be sitting?" Crowley said sarcastically. 

Dean snorted out a laugh, rolling his eyes "I know the real reason your here! Don't act like you don't have feelings for her, sam and I have seen the way you look at her. The way talked to her during your time in the basement and even though your sitting with a calming look but your white knuckles around that glass since we've been sat here tells a different story" Dean joked.

Crowley groaned "I'm a demon we don't love or have feelings. And the only reason I'm here is by saving your pesky sister is because you will owe me and I know having you in my pocket will be an advantage" he said back cocky. Before 

Dean could say anymore on the subject, a demon sat facing them. "finally" Crowley spat out "well what do you know?" The demon looked nervous, his hands shook and his palms looked sweaty. Dean wasn't sure if it was the human trying to take back control of his body but his gut told him the only reason a Dean would be this nervous is this was a trap or set up.

" I... I know were the Winchester girl is Sir! But there is a problem" he stuttered out not looking Crowley or Dean in the eye. Deans heart sank expecting the worst news, the news his sister was found dead.

"what problem!" Crowley roared slamming a fist on the table. "you said you know where y/n is, now tell me" he added. The demon finally looked up now more terrified than before. "please my king I'm just a messenger this wasn't my fault don't punish me" he said. Crowley frowned his mouth about to yell at the lacky, when siad lackys phone rang.

"you're so predictable Crowley," the female voice said over the phone. Crowley growled "abaddon" he said through gritted teeth. The night of hell started laughing through the phone. I see that human blood really did a number on you didn't it. How hard do you think it was to find your weakness." she said full of confident vemon.

" what in hell are you talking about" Crowley said trying to keep the upper hand in this conversation, knowing it was quickly slipping. "oh Crowley you've never made a good liar, Now here's how it's going to go down, I have a little game for you. Your human friend is in an abandoned Wear house in Nebraska or is it Pennsylvania, I can't quite remember it's one of them, chose wisely Crowley" abaddon said.

Dean looked at Crowley who had now gone quiet, the glass in his hand had now cracked he held it so tight. The offer of y/n over his title as the King of hell had him thinking. Dean knew what Crowley would choose and it didn't leave much hope for y/n

"now let's see what you want more to kill me and take back your throne or the life of the Winchester who has your eye. Choose is yours oh and Crowley you only have an hour before she's dead" abaddon said before the line went dead.

The demon went to speak but didn't even get out a word before Crowley clicked his fingers turning him to Ash. Crowley say in a blank silence thinking of what to do while Dean panicked and called Sam.

*** You woke with a throbbing pain in the back of your head. The room was large and dirty. You heard a voice of a woman laughing behind you, you recognised it the demon bitch Abaddon. You tried to fight against the ropes binding you to the chair but with no success. The noise of your struggle attracted the demons attention, "oh so the leverage is awake" Abaddon said. 

You stopped fighting as the red head came into view. This wasn't just a simple kidnapping, this was a power play from her for hell, how better to do it than killing the Winchesters. Kidnap you to focus your brothers out and kill all 3 of you. She's definitely be running hell then and running Crowley into a grave. She stood in front of you, looking you up and down. The frown/snarl on her face started to bother you, like she was judging you. "I really don't get it!" she said aloud as though she was talking to herself. "your pretty but no model, no make up, cheap flannel and denim typical hunter attie. So why oh why is Crowley so interested in you" abaddon said this time it felt more to you.

Any other time you would have been happy to hear those words, you'd liked the demon King for a while. You had spent time talking with him in the dungeon getting to know the real Crowley. The deep and honest talks you both shared was one of the things that made you fall in love with him. However the monstrous things he's done remained you he was a demon incapable of love.

Right now those words from abaddon meant she wasn't after your bothers but after Crowley. It kind of felt like you had no chance of getting out alive Crowley wouldn't trade everything for you. Not wanting to look weak you took a breath and tensed your shoulders. "what do you want bitch? Coz you seriously can't really think you can use me to break Crowley if so it makes you thicker than you look and I didn't think that was ever possible" you say back laughing, earning you a slap across the face.

"don't underestimate me girly, Crowleys little blood addiction make him weak and my sources tell me that weakness is you. However your right I can't be sure he'll chose you so that's why I've gave him a game to play and right now he's sat somewhere thinking what's more important to him. However no matter what Crowley chooses he'll still be walking into a trap along with those knucklehead brothers of yours. Crowleys lost most of his respect in hell and I have my armies waiting for them, now who's the smart one just be thankful your not already dead, I want to their faces as you die in front of them" Abbadon said, cycling your chair the whole time. 

Soon another demon who looked more like a builder than a demon, walked in. making you remember the humans inside these monsters. Part of you wished you'd copied Sam in learning an exorcism off by heart, it wouldn't work on a knight if hell but the other demons you may have had a chance with removing. You watched as he handed her a phone, abaddon looked and smiled "show time, oh and I can't have you shouting in the background so" she said clicking her fingers making a gag appear on your mouth. She walked out the room but stayed near the doorway. Her high pitched voice you could make out bits and pieces of her conversation. It sounded like she was talking to Crowley or possibly Sam and Dean, toying with them giving them two states to chose from.  The last thing you heard, "you have an hour before the girl dies" gulping hard you wished you knew the time or even where you are. Not like you could tell anyone. 

Abaddon walked back in looking smugger than before, "well looks like thags my cue to leave sweetie, shame we couldn't make this last longer" she said, as she plunged a small blade into your stomach "the small of blood will really get my hound hungry" she said looking at an empty cage in the corner of the room.

The cage wasn't empty. A few seconds after abaddon cut you and left you to slowly bleed out, you heard it. The grunting and snarling of a hellhound. You hadn't had much experience with hell hound, only what Sam and Dean had told you. Now, hearing but being able to see the beast you could understand Dean's fear.

*** Dean finished his call to Sam and went back inside the bar looking for Crowley. He was still sat with his head in his hands. Blood dropped from his hand onto bits of shattered glass.  Dean was surprised to see Crowley so conflicted, his call to Sam was only a few minutes but he'd at least expected to have moved by now. Dean pulled Crowley out his seat, "come on man we gotta go, sam is at the bunker and can be in Nebraska, so we'll take Pennsylvania" Dean said.

The sound of Dean pulled Crowley out of his pitiful thoughts. Now he was flooded with anger all he wanted to do was save y/n and make abaddon pay, painfully. Seeing the confused look on Dean's face Crowley knew he must look weak now not just a few Abaddon follows but to the likes of the Winchesters now too. "good what we standing here for squirrel, I've got a kingdom too take back" he carefully said not wanting to look too concerned about y/n.

Crowley snapped them to a quiet street of the edge of bethlehem, where an old out of use steel mill stood. "what are we doing here?" Dean said as Crowley dragged them behind a car. "shush you idiot, and look over there" Crowley said. Dean looked in the direction he was pointing out. 

To Dean all he saw was 3 men talking and smoking outside the mill However Crowley could see their real eye, pitch black and 100% demon. "I'm guessing their not three workers on a break" Dean said. Crowley nodded "and the dog walker and the new mum with a pram" Crowley added.

Dean looked hopeful "so that means she's here right with this many demons on guard" he said getting himself ready to fight. Crowley didn't look so happy "Abaddon is here y/n isn't" he said making Dean look at him confused. "that guy in a suit running in is one of closest confidants. Abaddon wouldn't go anywhere with out him meaning she's here. I know her Dean she wouldn't keep her leverage in the same place she was laying a trap" Crowley said sadly. 

Dean wasn't willing to believe they'd lost. "well Sammy is on his way to y/n now. So how about we go in and kill this bitch once and for all! I'm not giving up now!" Dean said angrily. Crowley wasn't giving up but he wanted to be careful "your right but we need to be smart. Running right up to the front door is only going to get us and your sister killed or will it?" Crowley said forming his own plan in his head.

After calling Sam and finding out his was only ten minutes away from y/n with a twenty minute window still left. Crowley told Dean to stay put until Crowley gave the signal. "this pan is gonna get me killed isn't" Dean said half joking half serious, Neither demon or hunter like this plan but it was the only one they had. Abaddon sat at a dusty desk, one that hadn't been used in years. Like she was on the throne of hell, a bunch of highest order of demons in hell. Crowley was dragged in by for demons and forsed on his knees in front of her. "well what a pity I thought you'd have gone after the girl first" she mocked. Before sending a demon off, no doubt to tell whoever had y/n Crowley was here.

Crowley stood up, shaking of the two demons "did you really think using the stupid Winchester girl would shake me, you had a better chance when you used Gavin" Crowley said. After 3000 years of being a demon, Crowley had perfected lying and lucky enough the demons in the room looked like they were believing it. Crowley smirked as he watched these demons whisper among themselves. "you really are stupid if you think I have FEELINGS" he said the word full of disgust "no I got close to the girl to get information on her brothers and how the plan to close the gates of hell for good, throwing small but important spanners in their plan. I've been playing the long game, earning trust and playing the Winchesters for personal gain" he finished.

Abaddon turned her to the whispering demons, her face turned sour hearing the positive murmurs in Crowley flavor. She was hoping to gain the gain the courts without too much fuss, now it looked like she'd have to play a different card. Over her shoulder Crowley seen Dean making his way in. "so your plan failed Abaddon and I'm here what's stopping me from killing you" Crowley said keeping the knights attention away from Dean. Abaddon screamed in frustration using her power to repeatedly attack Crowley. He wasn't going to beat her, she would rip him apart here and now for making her look a fool. He let her, let her ego take over let her believe she was winning. Crowley now had slashes across his face arms and body, anytime he fought back he missed or did minimal damage. Crowley looked at Dean using his eyes to signal now.

Dean was only a few steps away holding the first blade in his hand. It was raised ready to strike. Abaddon flicked her wrist sending the blade across the floor along with Dean almost knocking him out. Once she saw Dean was no longer a threat she moved closer to Crowley. "did you really think that would work against me, maybe some of these foolish idiots you work with but me" she said grabbing him by the throat.

  Crowley slid the real first blade out of his sleeve stabbing it into her kidney. "no I didn't expect you to fall for Dean's attempt but your too egotistic to believe I'd kill you" Crowley said pushing her away from him. His anger got the better of him as he repeatedly stabbed her again and again with the jawbone blade.

"you think you can just roll up, take my crown, my power" Crowley started his attention turned to what was his court "you all underestimated and followed this bitch to your deaths" he said, pointing to abaddon who was now trying to drag her bloody body away. "I'm the king and I give the order those against me will end up like this" he said finally stabbing her in the heart twisting it into red headed demon gasped her final breath. His court fled, all scared they'd meet the same fate.

Crowley and Dean were about to leave when the heard one of the demons who hadn't left laughing "even if you bet her today she still won, your Winchester girl will already be dead." the demon said. Then went on to tell them of the horrors that awaited whoever found y/n. Dean couldn't hear anymore, waste any more time. Using his demon blade he killed abaddons right hand demon. Then looked at Crowley in panic without a word Crowley grabbed Dean telephoning them out of the steel mill. Both praying its not too late.

*** It felt like hours you'd been sat there for, time had gone blurry. The wound left by Abaddon was still bleeding, it made you feel weak the longer you sat. Your were struggling to stay awake, believing if you went asleep you wouldn't wake back up.

The builder demon hadn't left the room since Abaddon had, Acting like a bodyguard. Not like you needed one, it wasn't like you were going anywhere, you couldn't escape your ropes and every time you tried the stab wound would bleed more. Also with the sound of the hound behind you, it wasn't like you could run away from it.

A blond girl in her mid 20s came in and whispered something into the builders ear. The more she spoke the more his face turned serious, he looked at his watch then whispered back. You tried to hear what was getting said but couldn't hear a word. The woman left and the other demon walked towards you, a smug smirk on his face. 

"well looks like you were right Crowley chose his crown and the chance to kill abaddon over you!" he said with a smile. Leaving you alone, your heart sank. You knew Crowley wouldn't love you back but you didn't expect him to leave you to die at abaddons hands. Part of you believed that maybe you meant something to him, even if it wasn't love you still believed that you were his friend and he wouldn't let his friend die for power.

You'd hadn't been alone long when you heard something outside, something that was the sound of hope. The sound of a shotgun then more fighting and muffled shouting. The builder demon ran back into the room "guessing Crowley told my brothers where to find me" you smirk at him.  

The demon snarled you "before you get your hopes up, yes it's true your brother is here but alone he doesn't stand a chance. In fact I'm sure he's already dead, and All that's left to do is feed the beast, any last words" he gloated.

You looked up at him spitting in his face. He punched you in the stomach making you cry out in pain. "just like your brothers stupid and stubborn till the end, well guess what this is your end, unless I see you in hell" he said as he pulled the lock off the cage. As quick as he snapped the lock he ran out the door, even demons are scared of hounds you thought.

Your heart pounded against your chest as you heard the cage door swing open. The sound of it sniffing the air sent goosebumps over your skin, the sound of its footsteps getting closer brought a new kind of fear you'd never felt. This was it the end, no way to escape. Even if Sam or Dean was outside they'd never get to you fast enough. Even if by some miracle they did open the door now it would only mean their death too. No right now your only hope or final wish was for your brothers to get out alive away from this hound.

You could feel it next to you now, it's hot breath washed over you, blowing your hair with each breath. Even if you couldn't see it, you knew or was smelling the blood from your stomach. Why hadn't it killed you yet, the way it was toying with you felt worse than anything.  It cycled you growling and snarling, tapping you with its paws like he was testing your reactions or. The calm before the storm. "y/n" you heard coming from the halls it was Sam's voice. Your final wish hadn't come true. The sound of your brother outside the room riled up the hound who pounced on you tearing at your flesh. You screamed in pain as the door burst open. Sam came into your view, he looked tired and covered in blood, you hoped none of it was his. Using the last of your strength you screamed out to him "Sam it's a hell hound run" the last thing you saw was Sam rise his gun then the bite of the hound.

*** Crowley and dean ran into the warehouse, to the sound of screams. Bobby came running down the hall almost knocking them over. "run hell hound" he manged to say before Sam came running and shooting behind him. Dean went white just a name of it sent his mind scared. Crowley whistled loud, "juliette sick 'em" he shouted. A gust of wind went past the group along with a terrifying growl. Quickly the dreadful sound of the two dogs fighting could be heard. 

Dean turned to Sam "where's y/n?" he asked. Sam looked at his brother with a saddened look she was in there with the hound. Dean went to run into the room, sam tries to hold him back "don't" he shouted but it was to late. Dean stopped at the doorway the look of horror in his face. 

Bobby and Sam followed him slowly knowing the bloody sight they were about to see. Crowley also stayed behind not wanting to see the result of abaddons handy work. "Sammy! Sammy getting here she's still breathing" Dean's voice could be heard.

Crowley pushed past Sam and Bobby. Her eyes were closed but the a faint rattle of breath could be heard, most likely from punched lungs or windpipe. There was too much blood for anyone to tell right now.

Dean went to pick his little sister up only to be shouted at by Crowley "don't touch her get back!" he ordered. Dean starting yelling at Crowley but he didn't hear a word of it, instead he starting chanting in Latin. Sam grabbed Dean holding him when he saw Crowley was trying to help. Y/n breathing wasn't raspy or shallow anymore. Dean who had tears down his face kept saying "She needs a hospital, what are you doing?, is she going to be okay"

Crowley never answered or took his focus of y/n. When he finished the spell he looked her over, trying to block everyone else's view until he was sure it had worked. He turned to face the others holding y/n limp in his arms. It was only small movements of her chest that made her look alive. "I've healed the wounds caused by the hound, I can't heal this. It's been caused by a human made blade not hell magic" he said. "she's stable but will need to go the bunker Infirmary" he said to Sam.

Sam took y/n from Crowley giving a small smile and nod in appreciation. Taking you outside to Bobby's jeep. Bobby quickly followed Sam calling for Dean to hurry up. Dean looked at Crowley "wanna come with us, we can finish that drink at the bunker" he offered, after today all of them could use a drink he thought.

*** Sam walked into the library after checking in on y/n. "She's sleeping I think she'll be okay, I'm going to bed now" Sam said leaving Dean and Crowley alone. The pair finished their drink with not much left to say, they had already given Sam a detailed account of what happened in Pennsylvania. While Sam told them all he knew about happened in Nebraska. How there was an army of demons he and Bobby had to fight through before they saw stay ripped apart by the beast. Dean wasn't sure what to say and also wasn't in a mood to make small talk with his unusual friend. After finishing the last of his drink Dean gave a big yawn and streching his arms. "think I might get some sleep soon too" he said. Crowley who was only half listening looked up "yeah its late I should" he said snapping his finger's, vanishing from deans sight. Crowley didn't go to hell or wherever he called home like Dean thought. No Crowley snapped himself to the infirmary to see y/n himself instead.

*** Looking at the clock it read 2:04 am, Crowley snapped himself another glass of Craig, muttering how he wish he could kill abaddon all over again this time making it painful and last a lot longer for what she'd done to y/n. Soon the time went faster along with his his 30 year bottle of Craig. He'd spent the best part of an hour arguing with his own mind, feelings and most of all heart. Things had changed since the blood trials, since he'd opened up to y/n.

He finished his drink, making the the glass vanish. The scotch wasn't helping or making him feel better. Taking y/n hand in both of his he kissed her knuckles. "it's strange, earlier today Dean made a comment about how I was in love with you. I would have disagreed, in fact this morning I would have said I wasn’t actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity. I'm a demon y/n my feeling died a long time ago and yes the blood brought me to an almost human stage. But it wasn't truly the blood that made me feel it was you. After you, squirrel and moose sobered me up and got me off the blood the feeling for you were still there. I found myself at times thinking what would be my consequences for an action, especially against your knuckle head brothers, what would happen to our friendship, our connection. And I've never cared what the consequences of my actions would mean if someone hated me for killing or backstabbing somebody" Crowley rambled, it was like a confession.

  He took a deep breath looking your face over "today, when I saw what abaddon did to you, I thought I'd never see you smile again, never hear you laugh again, never shut someone up with a clever one liner, me included. Never have another one of our secret late night talks when things were getting too much." Crowley was starting to hear the sound of his true emotions in his come through. The cracks in his voice strain more than once while he was talking.

He coughed and shook his head trying to be the demon he always is but with her alone he couldn't put on the cold selfish act he'd been doing lately, even if she couldn't tell. But something about saying it aloud made him feel better, it was hard and painful but also a relief to be honest with himself. "seeing you in that moment made me think maybe it is love, maybe I do love you. I just wish I could take you out and find out if it is love I'm feeling for you maybe if I was ever brave enough I'd say all this to your face, instead of when your asleep healing from something I got you into. I wish I could understand all of these feelings and share them with you" he said the wishfuly.

The sound of your groan made Crowley jump. "well" you tried to say coughing a little. Crowley snapped his fingers giving you a glass of water. After a quick sip and a smile thanks, you looked at him. "well valentines day is next month, maybe we can go on that date you were asking me on" you say. Crowley frowned "you erm heard that" he asked now looking a little embarrassed, which only made you giggle. "yes, I actually heard all of it starting with what Dean said this morning and your right maybe I love you too we'll just have too see were it goes" you say hoping he wouldn't be to mad at you for listening to him pour his innermost thoughts out.

Crowley smiled leaning down kissing your cheek "I would indeed, but you need to rest first, you can't visit France, Italy or England like this" he said pulling your cover back over you. The rest of the night you both sat just talking about the places Crowley would take you. Anything important or what happened today could wait till tomorrow, until your brothers were awake and everything went back to normal. For tonight you both enjoyed being with each other and being alive. Crowley sat there as y/n fell asleep in his arms but he could still hardly believing his luck, he had his throne back, abaddon was dead, his demons feared and now loyal to him again and now it looked like he could actually love and be loved back.