#cousin namjoon

[hollyhomburg]

NO! YOU have not even been married even a YEAR you have no reason to be calling me cute over dm. I like your wife! stop!

[rainbowcoloredpalmtrees]

tagged by: @cosmicdreamgrl 💛

There’s two that I’m kinda 🫣

tagging: @senor-hoberto @longlegsnamjoon420 anyone else etc etc 🫶

[ugh-yoongi]

a fun fact about me is that when i was little i played jagged little pill (the alanis morisette album) on repeat so much that to this day if my cousin hears any song from it she gets legitimately nauseous

[aikastales]

i’m drunk, i love you (jk)

𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: with only a day before graduation, you make a promise that you will not only graduate from university, but also from your feelings for your best friend of seven years, jeon jungkook.

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: film student!jungkook x med tech student!fem!oc (named sola)

𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾𝗌: heavy angst, unrequited love, jungkook as an isko agenda, set in the ph 🇵🇭

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: this story is fiction. it does not represent the members of bangtan or any of the idols here in real life. all resemblance to real life characters, institutions, associations, places, events, among others are either purely coincidence or depicted in a fictitious manner only. there’s really no warnings for this story other than it’s a self-indulgent fic to get me back to writing. the smut isn’t that severe. just kissing, nipple sucking, and grinding. this is based on the film, i’m drunk i love you, which i highly recommend you watch. i didn’t alter much of the plot & scenes bc i think they’re already great as it is, but i did tweak a bit here and there. i hope you enjoy! let me know what you think by reblogging/commenting. ♡

𝗍𝗈𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 5,784

You were never quite the believer in love at first sight, but what you felt that night was the closest thing to that feeling. 

He was one of the freshmen performers during your orientation, singing Adam Levine’s Lost Stars. Like the entire audience, you were captivated by his heavenly vocals and charisma as he performed on stage with an acoustic guitar one of the seniors lent him. Not only that, Jeon Jungkook wasn’t bad looking either—quite the opposite, really. 

However, after the orientation, you didn’t get to see much of the dark-haired handsome boy. You were studying at UP, the biggest state university in the country, and so your paths were bound not to cross. Until, your older cousin, who was a senior at that time, invited you to eat dinner with him and a couple of his buddies after seeing you strolling around campus alone. When you arrived at the eatery, you not only saw your cousin Yoongi’s friends—Yijeong and Woosung—you also spotted the boy who hadn’t left your mind since you saw him over four months ago at that time. 

You sat across from him and you tried your best not to freak out as Yoongi introduced the both of you. Apparently, he had already known Jungkook because he was the younger stepbrother of his other friend, Namjoon. During the course of your dinner, you and Jungkook didn’t really talk much. But you would muster up the courage to ask him some basic questions such as his program, why he went to UP, if he joined any orgs yet, etcetera. Jungkook was polite enough to answer your inquiries. 

He was a Film major. He went to UP because everyone in his family went to UP so it was the most obvious choice for him and he was a member of the Film society. In return, Jungkook asked the same set of questions. You were a pre-med student, Medical Technology, to be exact, and you went to UP because it was your dream school. You were also a member of the College of Arts and Sciences’ student council. 

After your meal was finished, Yoongi entrusted your care to Jungkook as they were going to meet up with some of their friends and you were both living at campus dormitories anyway. So, you hopped into his old army green Toyota Rav4 and needless to say, the ride back to UP was awkward. So, to get rid of the awkward silence, you asked if you could play some music. He said sure and handed you the aux cord already connected to his stereo. Once you had the other end connected to your phone, you played one of your favorite songs—Waltz of Four Left Feet by Shirebound and Busking. 

To your surprise, Jungkook also knew the song and just like that, the awkward silence was gone and you became inseparable ever since. 

Music became the bridge that connected you and Jungkook. Whenever you would hangout, it was always your topic—your favorite artists, songs, original scores in films, best albums, underrated artists, overrated artists, the current state of music, everything. He also became your gig buddy—seeking out mainstream and indie artists you both liked and going to their live performances downtown bars, jam packed arenas and stadiums. 

But your favorite would always be watching him perform. After his performance at the orientation, he naturally became one of the popular students at UP. He wasn’t popular like a celebrity or an influencer, but heads would turn whenever he walked around campus. Also, he still had the luxury of privacy on his side, but if you looked at the right places, you would find small accounts on social media dedicated to him. He didn’t care for the attention, though, and just went about his day as normally as possible. 

His performance did land him some gigs here and there. You found it cute whenever he’d turn to you to ask if he should accept the invitation or not, and you would always tell him to do whatever he wanted. Most of the time, he accepted, especially if it was at Route 96, a historic venue for aspiring musicians. 

It was here that he performed the first song he wrote by himself called Still With You. It was also during this performance that you began to see him in a different light—quite literally. He was performing with the bar lights off, only the lights on stage and the spotlight illuminated the entire establishment. When the spotlight on him turned purple, you felt a whole new admiration for your best friend. It wasn’t the “Oh god I’m so proud of my best friend” kind, rather it was the “Oh fuck I’m in love with my best friend” realization. 

But like every other story where someone falls in love with their best friend, you kept your feelings hidden, hoping someday it would go away. However, you soon realized, once you fell in love with Jeon Jungkook, there was no going back. It was a rabbit hole. 

The more you spent time with him, the more you fell in love with him and all of him—from the way he smiles to the sound of his laugh, how he would always annoy the shit out of you when you were supposed to be studying to how he would remember small things about you like your favorite snack at the vending machine, how you’d be the first to know his test results to how you’d be his first audience for the short film they needed to produce for that semester, how he would lend you his jacket when you ate bingsu because he knew you’d get cold easily to how he’d send you random memes he found funny out of the blue. 

It was so easy to fall in love with Jeon Jungkook. Thus, everyone else did too. For seven years, you watched on the sidelines as he dated several girls and loved them how you wished he’d love you. 

“In one day, you can finally lay your hands on Jungkook,” your best friend, Mingyu, teased as he took a sip from his beer. 

You let out a sarcastic laugh, head resting on your palm, elbow propped on the wooden table in front of you, a bottle of beer in the other hand. You were bordering on getting tipsy now as you had been drinking since you arrived at La Union with Mingyu and Jungkook in the afternoon. You didn’t even know why you agreed to your best friend’s idea of going to the province for a music festival when you had your graduation—the very graduation that was seven years in the making—on Sunday.   

“Fuck you, Kim Mingyu,” you told the honey-skinned man across from you with a chuckle. 

“What? Let this be your final test before finally graduating. Are you ready?” a lopsided grin appeared on his handsome face. 

Under the orange light, Kim Mingyu was easily one of the most handsome men you ever laid your eyes on. He was also tall, well-mannered, smart, capable, had a stable job while being a med student, and the textbook definition of a walking green flag. In another life, you could imagine yourself falling for him instead of Jungkook. But in the current universe you were in, he was one of your trusted friends who had known about your crush on Jungkook since first year. 

The waiter arrived to bring you your order of another bucket of Red Horse beer. Mingyu took a bottle from the silver bucket and opened it. “Happy horse for the happy whore,” he told you as he handed you the fresh bottle of beer. You gave him a middle finger. He laughed. “What? Am I not right?” 

“You’re the whore,” you replied. “I saw you with that cute chinito by the beach earlier. What happened to Mino?” 

He rolled his eyes at the mention of his ex—or you believed was his ex. You never really know with Mingyu and relationships. He was the complete opposite of you. While you were a hopeless romantic at heart, he didn’t believe in love—or so he says. 

“Seven years,” Mingyu mused, glancing towards the beach. “You didn’t stop falling in love with your best friend. Now, it looks like you don’t even plan to stop.” 

You sucked your teeth, tracing the water around the bottle due to the ice with your fingers. “Do I just throw it away?” You weren’t sure if you were asking Mingyu or yourself. “We make a good pair.” You laughed to yourself. 

“Except?” Mingyu pointed out the harsh reality. 

“Except,” you took in a shaky breath. “He doesn’t love me back. Maybe.” 

Mingyu sighed deeply, looking at his watch. “Time check: you still have your hopes up.” 

“It’s still early,” you argued. “I still have two days. Just give me time.” 

“Give me time?” Mingyu repeated, taking a sip from his beer. “What the fuck are you talking about, Sola? The universe has given you all the time. But you did nothing.” 

You groaned, throwing your head back as a realization hit you. “Fuck, Gyu, I just—I just realized. Is it right that we’re here? Was it the right decision to come here? My mom’s gonna be so mad once she finds out I’m in La Union.”  

“It’s all you. You’re a raging masochist,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Anyway. Let’s just play a game. Let’s enumerate all the things you did with Jungkook. Those are seven years worth of memories, Sola. Game?” 

“Game.” 

“What year did you first meet Jungkook?” 

A smile immediately creeped up on your face. “2017.” 

Mingyu waved his hand at you. “Wow! You can do math! But I just thought of something—instead of just general memories. Let’s make them specific. Let’s list down all the stupid things you did for Jungkook for seven years.” 

“The fuck are you talking about?” you let out a scoff, drinking your beer. 

“What? Now you can’t remember?” he challenged. 

You clicked your tongue. “Fine, you stupid bitch. Ask away.” 

Mingyu grinned. “2018.” 

You hummed before saying, “Jungkook was heartbroken that year. I was back at home and he was at UP. But I rushed into the city to be there for him. I remember because I was supposed to attend this baptism with my parents but I snuck out and got an earful from my mother the next day. I was completely hungover too because Jungkook and I went bar hopping the entire night.” 

“Jesus Christ, Sola.” 

“Don’t judge me. It was my decision, okay?” 

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Okay. 2019.” 

You stared at Mingyu, laughing as you recalled the memory. “2019. Me and Jungkook walked from UP to Aurora Boulevard just to tell me how Song Areum became his girlfriend.” 

He shook his head. “2020.” 

“2020—he was sick. I had an exam that day, but I quickly answered it so I could buy him his favorite, Tapsilog from Tapsi ni Vivian, before it ran out ‘cos it runs out quickly, right?” Mingyu nodded. You licked your lower lip then let out a small laugh. “But when I got to his dorm room, his roommate already told me Areum brought him to the university hospital. And I failed my exam ‘cos I didn’t answer the back part.” 

“2021, go!” 

“I loved him for four years now and counting. Is that good enough?” 

“Okay. I’ll accept it. 2022?” 

“2022—I’ve been in love with him for five fucking years already, fucking shit!” you exclaimed, feeling the alcohol in you boosting your confidence. 

“Okay. We’re in the last year, girl. What about in 2023? What was the stupid thing you did for Jungkook last year?” 

You gulped. “I’m two years delayed.” 

Mingyu exhaled deeply. A moment of silence settled between the two of you. Then, she asked, “Sola, it all boils down to this: when will you end this?” 

You sat up straight, taking a deep breath. “You mean when will I stop with my foolishness?” Mingyu nodded. You purse your lips. “Maybe when I’m done with UP. When I’m done with UP, I’ll graduate from everything—including him. Especially him.” 

When you got back to your shared room with Jungkook and Mingyu, you were already tipsy. You almost fell face flat on the floor when you opened the door, feeling lightheaded, but luckily, your best friend was there to catch you. 

“You’re drunk, Sola,” Jungkook chuckled deeply. You could smell his expensive cologne—the one you bought for him for his birthday last year and it brought a huge grin on your face, knowing he wore it. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” 

“I’m fine, Guk. I’m not that drunk. But I do need to sit down,” you said followed by a set of giggles as you let Jungkook walk you to the bed you shared with Mingyu, and then you threw yourself on it, back against the mattress, arms spread like an eagle. 

Jungkook sat down beside you. “Are you still mad at me?” 

The question seemed to sober you up instantly. The truth was—you could never stay mad at him. For anything. Sometimes, you’d think he could do the most painful and hurtful thing to you, deliberately, and you would still forgive him even if he wouldn’t apologize. 

“I wasn’t mad. I was just… I just wished you would’ve told me the real reason why you wanted to come here,” you replied softly, biting your lower lip. 

“Would you have come? If I told you I wanted to go here because my ex wanted to reconnect—would you have come?” Jungkook matched your tone, looking over his shoulder to look at you. 

Instinctively, your eyes also darted towards his. The lights in the room were dim, only the lamp, the light coming beneath the bathroom door, and the moonlight outside illuminated the room. Jungkook looked especially beautiful in the dim light—long black wavy hair all messy from his habit of running his fingers through it, hooded eyes staring at you like he was memorizing every inch of you, the gentleness of his features made him look like an angel in this light. 

But then you’d see his dozens of piercings in his ears, eyebrow, and lower lip; his tattooed arm and hand, and the way he looked sexy as hell with his thin white long sleeved, sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and his white beach shorts that hugged his strong muscular thighs, and you’d realize he was more of a Greek god than an angel. 

“I’ll go wherever you go,” you told him, swallowing the lump in your throat. “You know that.” 

Jungkook lied down beside you and you felt your heartbeat racing. His tattooed arm was brushing against yours. His head was tilted, close to yours. 

“Will you go with me to the moon?” he asked. 

A small smile ghosted on your lips. “I will, Guk.” 

“How about Saturn?” 

“I’ll be with you there, too.” 

“Law school?” 

You turned your head to him. He was already looking at you. “Law school? Why?” 

He brushed the hair on your face aside with his fingers, making you tense. But you kept your composure. “I passed UP LAE.” 

“But,” you began. “What about film? I thought you didn’t wanna become a lawyer like your parents.” 

Jungkook looked at the ceiling. “It’s not that bad. Being a lawyer. Besides, I like studying.” 

“You’ve always wanted to become a director, though.” 

“I’m not good enough for it,” Jungkook scoffed. “All my batchmates are already directing their films and showing them at festivals here and abroad—yet here I am. Still here.” 

You turned on your side, propping your elbow to support your head as you looked at your best friend. It was rare for Jungkook to open up. Even to you. He was always someone who kept all his innermost thoughts and feelings to himself. In the seven years you’d known him, it still felt like there was a wall around him that you never managed to climb on or punch through. For seven years, it felt like you simultaneously knew everything and nothing about your best friend. 

“It’s not the end of the road, Jungkook. So what if they’re showing their films at festivals? You can do it too. At your own pace, in your own time,” you said. You wanted to reach for his face, to make him look at you, but you were scared. “You’re a great filmmaker, Guk. The best direk ever.” 

He looked at you once again. “You’re drunk, Yu Sola. Go to sleep.” 

He sat up, carrying your legs over the bed. You let out a groan. “I’m not drunk, Jeon Jungkook. Why do you always do that?” 

“Do what?” he asked, chuckling. 

“You always cut the conversation when you’re beginning to open up. You always clamp up, Guk. I wish you didn’t do that. I’m your—,” you bit the inside of your lower lip. What right did I have to demand him to open up to me? “I’m your best friend.” 

“I don’t clamp up. I just have nothing else to say,” your best friend replied with a shrug, fixing his hair as he looked in the mirror across from your bed. “Go to sleep. You’ll get a massive headache tomorrow. I’m just going to meet with Areum and her friends.”  

Then, you blurted it out. It just happened. You didn’t even know how. You always had this grand idea in your mind to do it after the graduation ceremony, that way, you could immediately leave. That way, you didn’t have to see him all the time. You would have enough time to move on and move forward in your life. 

But nothing in life truly went according to plan. 

“I love you, Jungkook,” you confessed. Your heart felt heavy and you sat up, head hanging low as you picked on your nails. Tears were beginning to form in your eyes. “I’ve loved you for seven years now.” 

And you sobbed, burying your face in your hands. Then, moments later, you felt your hands being taken away from your face. You lifted your head and saw Jungkook kneeling in front of you, holding your hands. He let one go to wipe away the tears on your face, to tuck your hair behind your ear. 

And then, ever so slowly, Jungkook leaned in and kissed you softly. A tear rolled down your cheek. His lips were soft while yours were chapped and wet from your tears, but he didn’t seem to mind. You were still in shock. This was not the response you expected. Not even in your wildest dreams but it was happening. 

Jungkook held your face, tilting his head as he continued to kiss you more—only this time with more need and passion. Your body reacted. You began to reciprocate his kisses, hands wrapping around his wrists. He tasted of toothpaste and mouthwash. 

He pushed you onto the bed, one hand remaining on your face while the other held your waist. Your fingers curled the ends of his hair. You could feel his growing member on your stomach and feeling it was enough to make your cunt wet. His lips then traveled on your jaw, down to your neck. You were breathing heavily as he nibbled on your sensitive skin, making a soft moan escape your lips. 

His hand made its way under your shirt and your breath hitched, causing Jungkook to lift his head from your neck, and look you in the eyes. 

“You okay?” he asked softly. 

You nodded. “I’m okay.” 

“Okay,” he smiled, making your heart skip a beat. “Is it okay if I take this off now?” 

“I—,” you were at a loss for words. Was this really happening? It seemed too good to be true. But it was happening and you wanted it more than anything else. “Okay. Yes, you can.” 

Jungkook peeled your shirt off, exposing your naked chest. You didn’t wear bras; found it too much of a hassle and you always hated the feeling. Instead, you wore nipple tapes. 

“What are these, Sola?” Jungkook asked with a chuckle, making your cheeks heat up. 

“They’re nipple tapes, you dumb ass,” you replied, smacking his arm lightly. 

“Okay. Do I just take them off, like, tape?” 

He was adorably cute. “Yes, you just take them off like tape.” 

And so he did just that. The coolness of the room and your arousal instantly perked your nipples. Jungkook took your breasts in his hands, massaging and squeezing them, making you arch your back ever so slightly. Then, he dipped his head, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth while remaining to massage the other. 

The sensation was simply divine. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, your feelings for your best friend, or just Jungkook in general that made you feel so good at that moment. Your hands traced the outline of his toned biceps through his thin polo. 

You were so wet and when Jungkook began to grind his hard cock against your clothed cunt, you felt another wave of wetness. You wanted him—all of him—and so you began to rock your hips against him, making him release a moan. 

He lifted his head, staring at you with those doe eyes you have loved for seven years. “Are you sure?” 

Those three words held so much. Once you crossed the line, there was no going back, and both of you knew that. 

“I’m sure. I want this, Guk. I want you.” 

That was all he needed to hear to make love to you the whole night. Once both of you came, Jungkook laid beside you, chest heaving. For a while, the both of you lay in silence. 

“Will you be here in the morning?” you asked, turning your head on the pillow to face him. 

He did the same. “I will,” he promised. “Go to sleep now, Sola.” 

But he wasn’t. 

When you woke up the next day, the other side of the bed was empty. You sat up, burying your face in your hands. What the hell have I done? What the hell have we done? 

You left the bed, entering the bathroom, and proceeding to take a shower. In there, you cried, because nothing was going to be the same after last night. You couldn’t blame it all on Jungkook either. You also made it happen. You desperately wished it was just a dream—another wet dream you had of your best friend—but the traces of his cum were still on your inner thigh. 

It happened. There was no going back. Everything was going to be different now and most of all, you didn’t know if you still had your best friend. 

When you finished showering and getting dressed, you made your way down to the beach. You had texted Mingyu while getting dressed and he told you he was there with the chinito you saw him with, Wonwoo. Arriving at the beach, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket, about to text the honey-skinned med student when you saw Jungkook with Areum in the water, his strong arms that held you throughout the night, now wrapped around her waist. Fits of giggles escaped her lips as Jungkook wrestled with her in the water, a huge grin on his handsome face. 

Your heart shattered. 

You quickly looked away, a fresh set of tears forming in your eyes. As you were about to turn away, you heard Mingyu’s familiar voice which caused you to stop on your tracks. 

“Sola, hey, there you—what’s wrong?” The concern in his voice was palpable. You felt his arm around your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him. 

“I—I finally told him, Gyu,” you said, taking in a sharp shaky breath. “I finally told him.” 

Mingyu didn’t ask for more details. He knew. He led you back to your room, promising Wonwoo to text him later. Once you were back, you just cried on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything and neither did you. He just let you be until the tears finally stopped. 

“I’m sorry I pulled you away from Wonwoo. He seems like a nice guy,” you said after a while, voice raspy from all the crying. 

“It’s fine. We’ll be seeing each other often anyway,” Mingyu shared. 

You looked at him, surprised. “Really?” 

Your friend nodded, laughing to himself. “You know, all those times I teased you about your being a hopeless romantic and believing in love—I think it’s backfiring on me now with Wonwoo.” 

“You love him?” you asked. 

“I don’t know, Sola. But I know what I feel for him is different,” he answered. “It’s terrifying. How quickly someone can change your perspective on something.” 

You couldn’t argue with that. 

“What’s your plan now?” Mingyu asked. 

You sighed deeply. “I think I’m going to head back. My graduation is tomorrow anyway. Do you mind booking the bus ride home?” 

“I’m staying here, Sola. I—I want to be with Wonwoo more,” Mingyu confessed, smiling at you apologetically. 

“Gyu…” 

“Please be a friend to me now, Sola.” 

You pressed your lips tightly. Then, you nodded. You wanted your friend to be happy. 

“I’m gonna pack now,” you announced. 

“Okay. Just text me if you need anything,” Mingyu gave you a hug and kiss on top of your head. “I want you to know I’m proud of you, Sola.” 

Once Mingyu left, you began to pack. You didn’t bring a lot of clothes, but you were still biding your time. A part of you didn’t want to leave. You wanted to stay here and never graduate. But that illusion was quickly broken when you saw your mom’s contact flashing on your phone screen. 

You sucked your teeth before answering, “Hi mom.” 

“Sola? Where the hell are you? Why haven’t you been answering my texts? Your graduation is tomorrow. Everyone is looking forward to it!” she exclaimed frantically. 

“Mom, I’m sorry. I’m in La Union with Jungkook and—,” 

“What the hell are you doing in La Union?! You better get back instantly, Sola. I’m not kidding. If you don’t graduate now, I really don’t know what I’m gonna do. It’s been seven years! Please let me graduate too.” 

“I’m already packing and I’ll catch the bus home soon. I just—Mom, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it in time for the ceremony ‘cos—,” 

Your phone was suddenly snatched from your grip. You looked up and saw Jungkook standing beside you. 

“Hey tita, it’s Jungkook. Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll take her home. She’ll make it in time. Yes. We’ll be home before the ceremony, tita. Okay. Bye.” 

He ended the call and sat down on the bed across from you, handing you your phone back. You grabbed it from him. “You don’t have to take me home.” 

“I already promised tita I will,” he answered. 

“You didn’t have to,” you muttered, folding your shirt. 

Silence. Jungkook was just staring at you the entire time as you folded your clothes and packed them inside your bag. Then, he said those two words. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You bit the inside of your lower lip. What was he exactly for? For having sex with you? For spending the night with you? For not feeling the same way as you? All of the above? 

As if reading your thoughts, he added, “For everything.” 

You nodded. “You don’t have to apologize for anything,” you told him. “It’s not your fault you don’t love me the same way.” But why did you kiss me? Why did you make love to me? 

Jungkook lowered his head. You zipped your bag. “Let’s go. I still have a graduation to chase.” 

“What’s this?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed when you saw Areum standing beside Jungkook’s car with her luggage and bag. 

“I’ll drop Areum on the way,” Jungkook announced, grabbing her luggage and putting it at the back of his car. 

You pressed your lips in a line. “Fine.” You stepped into the back passenger seat, quickly grabbing your phone and earphones from your bag, and plugging it in. 

Lowering yourself on the seat, you rested your head against the window as Areum stepped into the passenger seat while Jungkook sat on the driver’s seat. You caught him glancing at you from the corner of your eyes, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you turned the volume up. Moments later, he began to drive. 

You decided to sleep the entire ride. However, when you woke up, you immediately realized Jungkook wasn’t driving in your hometown. “Where are we?” you asked, taking one of your earphones off. 

“I’m dropping Areum first,” Jungkook replied. 

You frowned. “I’m the one chasing a graduation, remember?” 

“Shh, just go back to sleep. Here,” he threw something at you—your favorite candy, Butterball, landing on your lap. 

You grabbed it, tempted to eat it, but you threw it back at him and went back to sleep. By the time you woke up again, you were at Areum’s house. She turned to look at you, smiling. 

She was really beautiful and kind. You began to feel guilty for hating her so much the entire time. “Congrats on your graduation, Sola. I’ll see you around, okay?” 

“Thanks Areum.” 

After Jungkook walked her to her door, he came back to the car. “What are you doing there? Come here,” he said, patting the passenger seat. 

“I’m fine here,” you replied. 

“Sola, come on. Please? I drive better with you beside me.” 

For the rest of the ride to your home, you sat beside Jungkook. Unlike before, where your car rides were filled with music and random conversations, tonight it was silent. You didn’t plug your phone into his stereo and you kept your eyes closed the whole time, listening to your music. Once in a while, Jungkook would try to make small talk, but you would only give him short replies, then went back to sleeping. 

When you arrived at your family house, you stayed with Jungkook outside for a bit, both leaning against his car. 

“It’s your graduation in four hours.” 

“Are you not going to come to yours?” 

“I don’t see the point,” Jungkook replied. 

You nodded and pushed yourself off his car. “I’ll head inside. Thanks for the ride, Jungkook.” 

He grabbed your arm before you entered the gate. You stared into his eyes. You couldn’t quite place what held them right now. Maybe you never really knew Jeon Jungkook after all this time. 

“I’m sorry, Sola.” 

“Why do you keep saying sorry? I told you—it’s not your fault and I’m fine. I’m over it now. See you around, Jungkook.” 

You head back inside. Graduation was in four hours. 

You wore a traditional Filipiniana dress, a pair of white heels that were already scraping the skin at the back of your feet, your mother’s pearls, and your sablay when your name was called. You came up on the stage with your excited mother, shook hands with your Dean, and finally grabbed your diploma. You always imagined graduation to be something so spectacular, but the moment you received the piece of paper that confirmed you had, indeed, graduated—you just felt the same. 

After the ceremony, you went back to your house where almost all your relatives from your mother’s side were waiting for you. A tarpaulin with your graduation picture and the words, “Congratulations Yu Sola!” printed on it and hung outside your gate. You greeted everyone on your way, telling them thanks, before retreating in your room to change out of your dress and into more comfortable clothes. 

While you were slipping on your shirt, your phone buzzed on your nightstand. When you grabbed it, you saw Jungkook’s message on the lockscreen. 

Let’s go, it said. 

You knew it meant one thing: a beer and butterball at Route 96. There was still a part of you that wanted to go because you always went when you received a message like that from Jungkook. It was always a yes when it came to him. But now that you confessed, something shifted, whether he admitted to it himself or not. 

So, you put your phone in your pocket, and went down. But as you do so, you felt your phone vibrate again. You pulled it out of your pocket and Jungkook texted you another message. 

Please? One for the road. I’m outside. 

You bit your lower lip. Then, you made your way out. There, you saw Jungkook wearing his barong and sablay, leaning against his car like hours ago. He smiled as soon as he saw you come out. 

“You still have it,” he pointed to your shirt. 

You looked down on it and realized you had picked his shirt of all things. It wasn’t anything special; just something he bought at a boutique. But it meant a lot to you because he gave it to you after you spilled beer on your shirt years ago. 

“You attended your ceremony?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. He nodded. “I thought you didn’t see the point.” 

“I changed my mind.” 

You wished you were just as quick in having a change of heart. 

“One for the road?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. 

You took a deep breath and nodded. “One for the road.” 

“Shit, I forgot it’s Sunday. It’s closed,” Jungkook sighed, seeing the steel gate at Route 96. 

“It’s fine. Let’s just go,” you told him, grabbing the beer he bought beforehand and making your way up to the bar. Jungkook followed behind. 

You both leaned in the railing before you, beer in hands. Another silence. 

You couldn’t believe this was the culmination of the seven years you spent loving Jeon Jungkook. You thought, after confessing, you would never speak again. He’d distance himself from you but here you were—having a beer with him at your favorite place in the world. You wished you knew what was going on in his mind right now. You wished you could dissect his mind and learn every thought he had ever since you confessed. 

Because you never really knew Jeon Jungkook. You were just so in love with him and idealized who he was over the last seven years. Suddenly, all the stupid memories you shared with Mingyu flashed in your mind and made you laugh. 

“What’s funny?” Jungkook asked, chuckling. 

You shook your head, drinking your beer. “Nothing.” 

He nudged your side. “Come on, share it.” 

You took a deep breath and for the first time, you looked at Jeon Jungkook and saw him for who he was; not the man you have loved for the past seven years. 

“I graduated, finally.” 

↪˚ author’s note: if you want to donate to me via kofi or gcash <33 i would appreciate it a lot. thank you & see you in more fics later on.

↪˚ permanent taglist: @whoa-jo @kookieandjoonberries

all rights reserved. 2024. belovedguk.

[moni-logues]

Long, Long, Long

Pairing: Jin x reader (afab)

Genre: exes-to-lovers, angst, smut

Word count: 6.3k

Content: piv sex (it's vague-ish, so it's not specified whether protected or not), fingering

Summary: A not-exactly-by-chance encounter gives you and Jin a second chance to get it right. You don't. Will Jin give you a third? [based on the song Long Long Long by The Beatles as part of the Across the BTUniverse collab hosted by @ugh-yoongi]

* * *

“Hi.” 

Your voice was thin, airy, all the breath trapped in your throat as your eyes met his for the first time in years.  

“Hi.” 

It was like an echo in reverse: his voice the strong, confident greeting and yours the weak memory of it.  

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he continued and you felt your head cock to the side. 

“I mean... He’s my cousin...” 

“Right!”  

His laugh cut straight through you, because you hadn't been expecting it. Hadn’t been expecting to be affected by him at all.  

“I always forget you’re related.” 

“It’s how you and I met.” 

Had he forgotten? Why did it hurt so much that he might have? Why did you care? You broke up with him! Years ago! This was your choice! But you couldn’t stop the accusation lingering in your tone. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to hear it, too. 

“I remember,” he replied, face serious. Serious but ... soft? Maybe? If you looked hard enough.  

You cleared your throat to pierce the awkward silence that followed. 

“How have you been?”  

“Yeah, pretty good. Same old, y’know. You?” 

“Oh, same, yeah. Nothing to report.” 

You chuckled self-consciously, wondering when you could get out of this conversation, away from him. He offered a bare grin back and you stood there, looking at each other, for long enough that you almost started to feel the world fall away; you almost started to believe you saw something in his eyes, something you’d not seen for such a long time, something you’d never expected to see again.  

Your lips were parting, mouth about to say who knew what, when Namjoon startled you with a slap on the shoulder. 

“Hey, guys!” 

You both jumped, flinched, and did another awkward laugh that Namjoon would almost certainly not have noticed. 

“Having fun?” he asked, grin wide and eyes shining, face a little too red to be sober. 

“Yeah, of course!” 

“It’s your wedding! Who wouldn’t be having fun?!” 

That appeared to satisfy Namjoon and he left as abruptly as he arrived, but it had disturbed something between the two of you. You felt unable to look at Seokjin again. You mumbled something almost inaudible and walked away.  

You went outside, where almost no one was. It was far too hot and humid, the air clinging close to you like a second skin. It was suffocating, almost too wet to breathe, but it was a relief from being inside. Where he was.  

You sat yourself down on the stone steps around the corner, out of sight. You needed a moment to think things through. It had been a long time and you had thought it was all behind you, but seeing him again brought it screaming back, and you needed to remind yourself of what had happened. 

* * *  

Seokjin slumped in his chair, fingers on the keyboard unmoving. He liked gaming because it made him feel peaceful, even if the game was infuriating. It took him outside of his head, outside of his troubles and stresses. He could leave everything behind and let himself be absorbed into the world of the game. It was relaxing. It was refreshing. It was, often, a well-needed break.  

Tonight, though, he just couldn’t get there. Couldn’t bring himself to leave the real world behind. This time, it felt too big. His problems too important to just run away from, even if only temporarily.  

He loved you. Knew it down to his bones. Felt that you were as much a part of him as they were. Couldn’t imagine a world in which you weren’t together but found himself thinking about it all the same.  

He wondered how often you made each other happy, because it felt rare these days. He tried to remember the last time you greeted each other with actual smiles on your faces—smiles that you meant, smiles that you felt. He couldn’t pinpoint the moment at which it had got difficult. It had happened slowly; he knew that much. He knew, when you moved in together, that he was happy. That you were happy, too. That you both were full of hope and enthusiasm and love. He knew, now, that he wasn’t. 

He sighed heavily. That was the first time he’d really thought it. The first time those words had risen in his mind, floating to the top like pond scum. He stared, unseeing, at the screen in front of him. All he could see was you. You then and you now. What had happened to you? What had happened to him? 

* 

You felt Seokjin roll out of bed. You didn’t roll over to him, ask him where he was going, say good morning. You stayed, facing away, on your side.  

You used to love waking up with him. Used to snuggle down at night, gleeful about the morning you knew was coming. You looked forward to every new day because they all started with him. Started and ended and then started again. Your days were book-ended with him, bound by him, supported by him. It felt exactly as it should have, you thought. Right. Correct. As it should have been. 

You squeezed your eyes tightly shut, trying not to cry. Every morning a fresh heartbreak. Every morning, rubbing exhaustion from your eyes as you crept to bed later and later at night, anything to delay that cold slide into sheets, the slipping off to sleep knowing you’d be waking to disappointment.  

You were going to have to talk about it. You’d both been doing a good job avoiding it so far, but something had to give. You didn’t know how much longer you had left in you. Didn’t know if you could keep tip-toeing around, ignoring each other, pretending things were normal. Pretending you were happy.  

Were you? At that point, you weren’t even sure you were still pretending. You passed each other like ships in the night because you were too scared to talk. Too scared of another argument with no end. No resolution.  

Except one. 

That one.  

The one you didn’t dare think about.   

* 

“We have to do something,” you said, quietly, the words dropping to the floor, dark and heavy.  

“I don’t want to,” Jin replied.  

You took a beat to swallow your frustration; you didn’t want to either. You didn’t want this. You didn’t plan this. You hadn’t planned for this. This hadn’t figured in any of your plans when you had signed a lease with him, merged your life with his.  

You rubbed at your temples. Neither of you said anything. You sat, in silence, side by side on the sofa. You thought yourself around in circles. You wrangled with the problem again, as though you hadn’t done so a thousand times before. You tried to find something, some other angle, some fresh perspective that might give you a way out. You made your head hurt with it. The thump of your heart resounded inside your skull, hit you over the head every second.  

You were tired. So tired. Of all of it. Everything. Of the misery you felt. Of the misery where joy had once been. Of this incredibly pregnant absence that surrounded you. These edges, frayed and sharp, screaming in neon about what used to be there, what used to fill them.  

Some days, you had thought about not coming home. Not ditching your whole life, just... not coming home for a day. Maybe two. Staying at a friend’s. Eventually, you always made your way back there, because you weren’t able to admit to anyone that things were falling apart, but you spent the journey pretending you were heading somewhere else. That there was a destination at the end that wouldn’t break your heart. 

“I think we have to,” you whispered, your voice cracking on tears. “We can’t just keep living like this. You know it as well as I do: we’re not in this anymore. It’s over.” 

And Jin couldn’t say anything. Because he knew you were right. He just didn’t want you to be right. He wanted this to be right: him, you, together. He wanted it to be like it was. Before... Before he wasn’t even sure what. Life? Work? The everyday drudgery of existence somehow grinding you both down so that you didn’t have time for each other, didn’t have space, didn’t have energy. You lived together in relative peace and that was all you had now. Nothing less but nothing more.  

You’d already done all the arguments. The ‘you aren’t prioritising this relationship’ one and the ‘we need to make more of an effort’ one and the ‘why are we even together then?’ one. All of those a hundred times and others besides. They never fixed anything. Only made you both feel worse. Frustrated. Guilty. Ashamed. Scared.  

So he had known this was coming and was being cowardly, making you the one to say it. He felt bad for that but he couldn’t. It hurt enough just to hear you say the words; he couldn’t be the one to rip them from his lungs, to tear down everything you had built together. He was a coward. Had been a coward all this time, trying to run from this.  

Knowing it was coming didn’t make it hurt any less. He couldn’t reply immediately, had to take a minute to let the initial sting wear off. Kept waiting for it to fade. Gave himself a little longer to feel composed. To stop feeling shocked and confused and hurt, hurt, hurt.  

He dropped his head into his hands, thoroughly shamed, chastising himself for making you do this, for still not being able to agree. Not being able to help you with this. He knew you were right but he couldn’t look it in the eye. 

“Jin,” you croaked. Pleading.  

He swore under his breath, tears burning in his own eyes. He was going to let you down. Had been doing it for months. Was going to do it again. He could hear you crying, couldn’t bear to look over and see it, too. He bit down on his lip, chose to focus on that; grabbed his hair with his fingers and pulled until it hurt, chose to focus on that. Anything but the pain of hearing you cry. Anything but the pain of his heart, bleeding freely, filling him with heartbreak.  

“We have to break up,” you whispered, some time later, when your breath had evened out a little, when Jin had blood on his tongue and fewer strands in his scalp.  

“I don’t want to,” he whispered back.  

A coward. He was a coward. He knew it.  

You weren’t. You were going to do it. What he couldn’t. Pull the plug. End it all. Walk away. Leave.  

* 

You did. 

* * * 

“This seat taken?” 

You barely registered the words, let alone the voice. You waved a hand in a vague gesture of an answer. It wasn’t until he sat down and that lost, familiar scent hit your nose that you realised who it was.  

Your head snapped around, looking at him, and, once he met your gaze, you couldn’t look away.  

Were they the same? Those eyes? Were they exactly as you remembered? You couldn’t be sure. They looked similar enough, familiar enough, deep and dark as they had ever been. You just couldn’t see beyond them anymore. Couldn’t see what he was thinking or feeling. Had lost the skill when you lost him, you supposed. You searched his face for clues, for a hint of-- 

You stopped yourself. You were about to think of him as ‘your Seokjin’ but he wasn’t that. Hadn’t been for a long time. He could be someone else entirely now. Even if you felt catapulted back in time, hurtling into the past when you had been his, when there had been a connection between you, a thread, thoroughly tangled, so well knit that you had thought it would never unravel, that didn’t mean he felt it, too. You had no right to expect that. To want it. 

Did you want it? 

“They’re organising a search party for you, y’know,” he said lightly, lips lifting slightly at the corners. 

“Oh?” 

“You missed the first dance-” 

“Oh, fuck!” 

Finally bringing yourself back to the real world, you gazed around yourself, realised how low the sun had got in the sky, saw all the bugs flying around you, making a feast of your skin. It was still sticky and close, the encroaching dark bringing with it no chill.  

Seokjin laughed. 

“Don’t worry; Hobi filmed the whole thing. They attempted a lift and Namjoon dropped her.” 

You gasped.  

“No!” 

“Yes!” 

You laughed, harder than you might have otherwise, because it was such a relief to laugh, to cut through the tension you were feeling.  

“Is she ok?” 

“Of course. It’s the perfect wedding anecdote: no harm, no foul, caught on tape.” 

“You’ll have to get Hobi to send that to me.” 

“It’s already on the internet.” 

You wanted to fill the silence. You wanted to keep this going: this light chat, this friendly conversation. You wanted to show yourself that you could do it. You had been working on it, steeling yourself because you had known you would be seeing him here, that you wouldn’t be able to avoid it. You’d been preparing. Reminding yourself of your decisions, of where you were now because of them. Propping them up with a little too much bluster—but it was only one night. This facade did not have to be robust; it just had to be opaque. 

“We should go back inside,” Seokjin offered instead.  

“I don't want to,” you said without thinking.  

And those four words did it: stabbed you hard in the chest, right where you were softest. You swallowed your gasp, held your breath. It hurt like it had three years ago. How could your heart feel so freshly cleaved when you had been sure it was all solid scar tissue? Healed and weathered, maybe, but sewn together all the same.  

You wondered if he would say it. If he even still remembered. You were waiting for it, tense and aching and bleeding all over. The seconds were weeks, months, years. Three years. Three years, three months and, you calculated it quickly, five days. You winced, cheeks flaming, eyes burning.  

“Ok,” he said eventually. “We don’t have to.” 

When you looked at him, his heart broke a little. Watery and wide, your eyes pleaded with him, said things he couldn’t hear. Not anymore. He had wanted to apologise. Had almost done it so many times, reached out to you just to say sorry. Sorry for- 

All of it.  

Sometimes he was sorry you ever met. Sometimes he was sorry you fell in love. He was sorry that it didn’t work. Sorry that he couldn’t fix it. Sorry that you walked away. Sorry that he let you. Sorry that he didn’t run after you.  

“I’m sorry,” he said, plainly, finally.  

He wasn’t sure that he wasn’t still being selfish, that this wasn’t more for himself than it was for you but he couldn’t let this opportunity pass. He might never see you again. Or he would see you: when Namjoon had his first baby, at their 100-day party, and every year after that, maybe. He wasn’t sure which would be worse. 

“For what?” 

He sighed and looked at his hands.  

“Everything, I suppose. That it didn’t work out between us.” 

He saw you shrug in his periphery, hoped that wasn’t how you really felt. 

“It’s ok. Wasn’t your fault. We just... didn’t work out.” 

There was a long pause. You were going to let him lead the conversation because you didn’t trust yourself to. Didn’t trust yourself not to rip your heart open at the seams and ask him to break it again. Because despite all the time that had passed, despite the clean break, the no-contact, it didn’t feel finished. You weren’t done. You had tapped a rich seam you thought had dried up; if you let it, it would overflow.  

“Can you believe they’re actually married?” he asked.  

You laughed. This was easier territory. This was happy. This was joyful. This was everything you and he were not. 

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” 

“Given how it all started.” 

“Oh, that was so long ago. They’ve been happy for ages now.” 

They had and it made your heart lighter. That they turned it around. That somehow mess and rubble turned into solid foundations. That the house they built out of brick was strong and stable and full of laughter. 

“... We were happy once, weren’t we?” 

You took a breath before you turned to look at him, filled yourself up with air as if it would keep other things out. Other things like the aching familiarity of affection for him. The instinct to take his hand in yours, to rest your head on his shoulder. The feeling that you wanted to make everything better for him. The belief that you could.  

Other things like love.  

“Yeah, we were happy,” you said stiffly.  

“I’m not sure where it went wrong.” 

He turned, then, finally looking at you. You had the same sensation you had earlier: the sense of everything else falling away; the hint of something becoming clearer.  

He kissed you.  

Or you kissed him.  

Either way, it was happening.  

“Is this stupid?” you whispered against his lips, not daring to pull back farther, to open your eyes. 

“Probably,” he replied. “But I think we should do it anyway.” 

He didn’t give you the opportunity to argue, locking his lips against yours again. You didn’t want to argue. You wanted to fall into him, give in to him, give in to something you’d been denying that you wanted all this time. All these years.  

In just one kiss, those years disappeared. The time apart collapsed into nothing and you were together again. Like you used to be. You could ignore everything around you; there was no wedding, no party, no formalwear. It was just you and him. As it always should have been.  

He didn’t stop and neither did you. Not when he brought his hands to cup your face. Not when you shifted closer to him. Not when he rolled his tongue over yours. Not when you clutched at the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.  

Only when you had to move, when the constriction of the steps and your dress meant you couldn’t get any closer to him did you stop. Did you pause. Did you take a breath. 

“Jin,” you began, the pounding of your heart making you a little breathless already. 

“Don’t,” he whispered back. “Please don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” 

He sighed and you felt him sit back, drift away from you, hands falling to his lap.  

“Don’t say that we shouldn’t do this. Or don’t say we should talk about things. Don’t say-... I don’t want to say anything.” 

His plea was echoed in his eyes and you bit your tongue. For a second at least. For long enough for him to stand and offer his hand to you. For long enough that you took it. That you let him lead you back inside, out of the room, up the stairs. 

He opened the door to his hotel room and held it for you, his other hand still cupped around yours. He let it shut in silence and you sat on the bed. Your chest was bursting. Felt full. Full like a barrel bomb hurtling out of the sky. You didn’t know the damage it would do if it fell. If you let it smash itself open on the floor of this hotel room.  

So, you didn’t let it. Didn’t give it a chance. You locked eyes with Jin and reached out for him. Your hand fell to the knot of his tie and you dug your fingers into it, loosening, your other hand joining to break it apart and pull it from underneath his collar. Then your fingers went to work on the top buttons of his shirt, the ones on his waistcoat, pushing his jacket off his shoulders to let it fall to the floor.  

Jin wasn’t still as he let you undress him. He worked as gently and quietly as you did, using deft fingers to pull grips from your hair, freeing it from its tangles and running his fingers through your tresses as they ran like rivulets down your back, crossing your collar bones and curling just above your chest. You remembered with a smile and a twinge in your heart that he always wanted you to grow your hair long. That you had cut it into a long bob a year or so before you broke up and he never stopped mentioning, firstly, how beautiful you were regardless but, secondly, how much he liked your hair when it was long enough to tie into ropes, to curl endlessly around his fingers.  

You were silent like that—unspeaking—so that when he brought his lips to yours again, when his tongue found yours and you could taste him like you had a thousand times before, your little sigh of contentment was loud. Loud, too, was his grunt as you ran your hands down his chest and palmed at his trousers. You let those sounds fill the room. They expanded like air until it was full of small, breathless noises, ones you’d not heard for years. Ones you’d thought you wouldn’t hear again.  

Sounds you had forgotten: Jin’s intake of breath when your teeth met his neck, the way it sucked in through his teeth like a gasp, as if it hurt though you knew that it didn’t; the sound of a zip undoing and the quiet, grunted exhale that always accompanied it as your fingers grazed his length (that you didn’t even know if he was aware he was making, that he made the same every time); the moan when your fingers did more than graze, when they wrapped around him, cool against the solid heat of his cock, and squeezed a little. 

Sounds he had forgotten: your moan when his mouth found your nipple, when he felt it shiver to attention under his lips; the way even your breathing whined, each exhale carrying with it a sweet, sighed vowel which floated into the air to make space for the next; the way his name sounded in your mouth, the way your lips pushed and pulled to form it, the way the final consonant became a sound of its own, stressed as if you didn’t want it to end that quickly. 

Sounds you had both forgotten: the ones you made together. The rush and click of your kisses, breathing heavily, lips pressed together and then apart, at irregular intervals because sometimes you wanted to pepper kisses all across his perfect face and sometimes you wanted to breathe his breath back to him, wanted to taste him forever, wanted your tongue to know his like it used to.  

The wetter, slick squelch of his fingers pressing into you, coated in your arousal, then their insistent pressure that made you whine, made you keen, made your breaths high-pitched and long.  

The slap of his skin against yours as you sat above him and let him fuck into you from below. The accompanying grunts, answered by your panting his name: a word you thought your body had forgotten but that came without your say so, automatically, bubbling up from your lungs like a long-forgotten spring. Like it was natural. 

The sound he made as he came, his throat tight around the vowel as it stopped the air. The opening sigh of your name immediately following it.  

“Fuck,” Jin whispered as you let your body fall forward into his arms, chest to chest, your head on his shoulder.  

“Fuck,” you replied.  

The silence was complete, then. The drone of the air-conditioning and a fly batting at the window pane didn’t reach you. The noise of the disco two flights below didn’t either. It was just the two of you and your silence. The two of you with your arms around each other. In a bubble. Back in time.  

You fell asleep like that: the alcohol and the orgasms conspiring to knock you out before you could knock sense into yourselves. 

* 

The night was deep when you finally woke. You shivered and goosebumps rippled across your skin—too cold now, with the aircon still going. Jin’s head was tipped back, his mouth slightly open, eyelids fluttering as he dreamt. You started to smile and then stopped yourself. 

What were you doing? 

What had you done? 

You realised you were cold on the inside, too. That whatever your chest had been full of earlier was gone now. An icy dread began to swim in your veins. A terror.  

What a fucking stupid thing to have done.  

Jin slept deeply and you’d never been more grateful for it than you were then. You extricated yourself from his heavy limbs, pulled your dress over your head and grabbed your underwear and shoes in your hands. You opened the door of his hotel room as quietly as you could and padded on tiptoes back to your own. 

* * * 

“Hi.” 

Your voice was quiet, choked, blood racing to your face, cheeks burning. The reply didn’t come. He just looked at you. Blinked once. Kept looking at you.  

That was fair enough, you thought. He didn’t have to speak to you. Hadn’t done for over a year now.  

Not that you had spoken to him. Not that you’d been in touch at all after walking out on him at Namjoon’s wedding. Walking out on him as he slept after the two of you had slept together. 

But you did wish he would either say something or stop looking. It occurred to you that you could look away. You could walk away. Technically, anyway. Your legs could move and you’d been walking successfully for the better part of 30 years now.  

But you couldn’t do it again.  

Jin nodded with the smallest twitch of his head and turned away. He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t really know how to say anything without the entire monologue pouring out. The one he’d been thinking to himself in quiet moments. The one he had ranted in his head for days after the wedding. It was softer now than it had been then, but it wasn’t soft. He didn’t want to give you soft, not again.  

He knew the break-up was as much his fault as yours. Or that it was no one’s fault exactly. He wasn’t angry with you for the break-up and now he had almost stopped being angry with himself, too. Because there had been a way back. He had thought you would walk it. With him. He had thought that the door had been opened and at least you would fucking talk about it.  

Then he woke up alone.  

So, he didn’t know what to say to you now, a year later. A year in which your silence resounded. He had got the message.  

* 

It had been a year. You knew that. You were painfully aware of that. You had seen it coming, had been almost counting down the days with every morning that you woke up and didn’t speak to him. Didn’t reach out. Didn’t apologise or try to explain. It had been another year without him.  

You hadn’t gone back to the wedding party. Had sat in your own hotel room and cried. Had sat in your own bed in your own house and cried. On and off. Occasionally. When you let yourself think about it. Him.  

It was months before you told anyone because you didn’t want it to be real. You didn’t want to believe that you had been that stupid. All your old wounds opening up, as if you had scurvy so bad your heart was unstitching itself. Except it wasn’t a vitamin C deficiency, it was you. You, actively ripping at the seams. You, digging around inside your deepest hurt. Fucking around in it.  

That was why you hadn’t called. Messaged. Carrier pigeoned. Smoke signalled. Telegrammed. Sent a message via your cousin and his friend, Namjoon. 

Your relationship hadn’t worked. You had broken up. You weren’t happy together. Things had changed. You clung to these truths like lifelines. They were facts and facts didn’t change no matter how you felt about them. Not even if you wanted them to.  

* 

You didn’t speak to Jin at your second cousin’s (first cousin once removed? Namjoon’s son’s) 100-days party. He didn’t speak to you, actually, but you pretended it was mutual. You stayed out of the way and, eventually, the party ended. 

* * * 

“Hi.” 

You’d practised this. You knew he would be here and you had cemented closed those holes in your heart. You had papered over the cracks and you were going to be civil. Polite. Friendly, even. You could do this. So far, your voice was playing ball. That was an absolutely textbook greeting. 

“Hi.” 

A response this time. Promising.  

“I’ve missed you.” 

Jesus fucking wept. That wasn’t part of the plan. By the look on his face, Jin also was not expecting you to say something like that but, as ever, he schooled his face quickly back into one of neutrality.  

“Have you?” he asked.  

You winced at the edge in his voice and knew you deserved it. You didn’t know how to answer, because your rational brain had taken back control and you didn’t want to wade into those waters. 

He sighed sharply, exhaling through his nose; he turned to leave and you let him. You watched him disappear through a doorway and tipped your head back against the wall, bumping it deliberately once, twice, three times.  

* 

“H-” 

“Please don’t say fucking ‘hi’ to me again.” 

The word died on your tongue.  

“What do you want?” Jin asked, not aggressive, just aggrieved.  

“To talk?” 

You saw him bite his tongue. Saw him chew and swallow the sharp retort he wanted to give you. 

“About?” 

You took a deep breath. 

“Us?” 

“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘us’.” 

“Jin, plea-” 

“No.” 

“I-” 

“No. Do you know how much I beat myself up when we ended things? When you ended things – because I couldn’t do it. I should have. I should have been the one to take that hit, but I let you do it because I was a fucking coward. I was scared to lose you but not scared enough to make things right between us, apparently. Just enough to fuck things up between us for good. I thought that was my fault. 

“And it fucking hurt because I missed you. All the time. I thought, all the time, about you and the life that we should’ve been living together still. And it hurt knowing that I ruined it. I fumbled you as the kids apparently say these days. I thought it was on me. 

“Then there you were at the wedding and it took me longer than it should have but I...”  

He paused and you couldn’t have filled the silence if you’d wanted to. He threw a hand in the air. 

“But what do I know? I got it wrong once and then obviously got it wrong a second time. You have no idea what it felt like waking up to an empty bed that morning.” 

It had been embarrassing. Scalding like a pot of boiling water thrown in his face. Had hurt like it, too. Jin had cursed his impulsivity, knowing that you should have had the conversation first, should have made things clear before going and fucking. Fucking things up. He just hadn’t been able to help himself: there you were, in his arms again, where he never thought you’d be. So, he had let sense take its leave and he had assumed it would all get straightened out afterwards. How naive he had been. 

“I’m so-” 

“Don’t say you’re sorry. What does it matter now? It doesn’t. I got the message. Loud and clear. We’re done. I get it. I’ll get over it. Just-” 

“Don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” 

You had to swallow, your mouth suddenly full of saliva, your stomach churning; you weren’t sure you weren’t about to open your mouth and vomit, but you had to say it.  

“Don’t get over it. Me. Don’t get over me.” 

His expression remained guarded, but his eyes flashed and you knew that expression. You knew him. Down to his bones you knew him and it all seemed so simple now, somehow. Laid out in front of you; spelt out in sky-writing; blaring like a klaxon.  

Your foot was already off the ground, about to rush to him, kiss him, make real all the things that had been only in your heart and mind for the last year and some. Maybe there was a reason you couldn’t get over him: that you shouldn’t. That the last time should never have been the last time. That you needed to be apart only so you could come back together. That you had lived with him and lived without him and you knew which you preferred.  

It welled up in you like a wave, sucking back on the shore as it rose, preparing to crash with full force and you took a step forward and lifted your other foot to take one more. 

Then you paused. Because that’s exactly what you’d done last time and he wouldn’t do it again. Wouldn’t step foot in what might’ve been a trap. You owed it to him to talk first. To lay yourself bare before him, emotionally this time. To let him see. 

“I shouldn’t have left,” you began, foot planted firmly on the floor. “That was really... It was shit. It was mean. It was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t fair. And I am sorry, even if you don’t want to hear it. I am sorry and I’ve been kicking myself for doing it since the door shut behind me that morning.  

“It wasn’t your fault. At all. I never blamed you for our break-up. You didn’t do anything wrong. We just... Well, I don’t know; maybe we both stopped trying. But it wasn’t just you. It always takes two. You shouldn’t have been beating yourself up for it. I’m sorry for that, too. 

“I’ve been beating myself up for leaving,” you continued. “Honestly? I was scared. I didn’t expect it. I had put so much work into getting over it, being ok with seeing you again, believing that the break-up was the right thing to do and that there was nothing between us anymore.  

“It wasn’t true. None of it. Because the first time we’re in a room together after breaking up, we have sex?” You chuckled, a little rueful. “Who the fuck was I kidding? I just don’t think we’re made to be apart.” 

“We can’t just get back together.” 

“Why not?” 

Jin laughed then—more out of surprise than anything else. He had sworn he was done with you. He was determined to be. Because, well, that’s how the saying goes, isn’t it? Fool me twice... It was unfair to put it in those terms, he knew, but he still wasn’t prepared to put himself in another position that would see him heartbroken. Again. For the third time.  

But here you were, saying things he’d only ever dreamt you’d say. Saying them and looking at him like you meant it. At least, he thought that was what you looked like. Did he know you well enough still to make that call?  

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you let it go, because he was just looking at you. Looking at you with such uncertainty in his eyes. He was very good at keeping his guard up; you had been surprised when you learnt that. Had thought that you’d got to know him pretty well until he revealed to you that you barely knew him at all. Had let you take a peek at the depths beneath his not very still waters. It had been something you loved so much about him: the way you could share a look in a crowded room and only you would understand. The way he let you in had made you feel special because you were one of a small, select group. You had betrayed that trust.  

You understood his doubt. Knew he had every reason to feel it. Knew that you had to swallow your own fear and uncertainty for it. 

“Why not?” you repeated, stronger this time, a proper challenge. 

He spluttered.  

“Wel-, becau-... It-... I don’t know!”  

You did step forward this time. Sure, short strides. Crossing the room you’d been standing at opposite sides of until you were standing just an arm’s length from him.  

“Why not?” 

“Because...”  

His voice was barely a whisper now. You reached forward for his hands and he gave them to you. You took another step forward. 

“Why not?” you whispered back, feet moving you towards him all on their own now, until you had to crane your neck to look up at him, until you could smell his aftershave, feel the puff of his shocked little exhale. “I’m in,” you told him. “I meant it: I don’t think we were made to be apart. We’ve done apart. I don’t want to do it anymore. Didn’t want to do it in the first place. Please. Please give me another chance.” 

He scoffed, his eyebrows briefly high on his forehead. 

“It’s not you who needs another chance,” he replied. “It’s me.” 

“Ok, then, I’ll give it to you. Have it. Take it. Me. Please.” 

“Are you sure?” 

You didn’t need words to tell him how sure you were.  

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

Dark Moon | Chapter Fourteen

Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader

Word Count | 4,5k

Warnings | +18, yandere themes, Stockholm syndrome, fluff, smut, slight panic attack at first, body worship, pussy worship, pussy eating, face riding, fingering, nipples licking, couch fucking, vaginal sex, intense orgasms and devastating emotions, soft yandere Jimin, mentions of ruined childhood

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.

And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.

That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.

He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! 🥰❤️

Hope you are happy with this update! This one is a bit longer than the others! Always let me know your thoughts, you make me very happy ❤️

PS: Forgive me for the mistakes, it was not an easy week for me and I did not have much time 😭❤️

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal, @ajkwww, @ungodlyjoon , @hecateslittlewitchling , @namjoonsbuspass , @darkuni63 , @xicanacorpse , @jiminismine4ever , @btssimpjaneth , @antisocial-mochi267 , @reallygenerouskoala , @velvet-stardust2002 , @angelicsmilesworld

Taglist is open!

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"I finally found you," huffed Seokjin in front of Choi Minhoo, the man had been tied to a wooden chair, only Minho, Seokjin, Jungkook and Namjoon were present in that warehouse. The latter were just waiting for Jin's order to act; they were vibrating with fury.

"Be careful, Jin! My family members won't be happy about this!" he ranted with foam at his mouth, as frightened and rabid as a rat in a trap, Jungkook growled at those words, put his hand to his gun that he faithfully kept in his pocket, but a glance from Seokjin froze him in place.

"Uh, that's scary," put on a fake pout Jin with those beautiful rosy lips of his, "Now I'm going to shit my pants, look."

"Take the piss out of me, they're going to destroy you anyway," he growled, but that only made the man in charge of the Bangtans smile more broadly.

"That slut of a cousin of yours hurt Jimin when he was just a little boy, the result was that her body was dismembered by my dogs, and she was still alive while they ate her, you kidnapped and raped his woman, which amounts to another member of my family now," he began as he walked toward Minho, before grabbing the collar of his torn jacket, "I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces of what you and your damn family break, I will kill you all, child or adult, I will eradicate you from this world as the haughty and arrogant scum that you fucking are," he hissed, tightening his grip so tightly that the tendons in his wrists trembled before he pulled away.

Inhaling before recomposing himself, Namjoon and Jungkook looked at each other with a smirk-that was Jin.

"Jin! Jin! Kim Seokjin, stop!" shouted Minho after him as the man walked away, giving way to his bodyguards, "You said you were interested in politics, right! I can introduce you to the prime minister!" he finally shouted desperately, but Seokjin ignored him expressionlessly.

Neither he nor Jimin would have soiled themselves for such a being. He had deliberately decided not to tell Jimin about Minho's capture, knowing him he would have wanted to kill him with his own hands, but he wanted him to spend more time with Y/N.

He knew that sooner or later Jimin would fall into the arms of a woman he would love with sincere passion, that was what was needed for a troubled soul like his.

They needed to be done with the Choi family forever, all of them.

For days there had been a tense air in the house, Jimin was not there-according to him he had vital research to do-and in his place Taehyung had arrived to keep her company. He did not even use the guest room, preferring the living room sofa to Y/N's dismay.

The living room was her favorite place to read and eat, with Taehyung having conquered that piece of the apartment by now she could always be found hanging around it and disappearing.

Taehyung on his part tiptoed around when she was present, feeling uncomfortable.

He had endangered her with his indifference, plus he had also seen her in an extremely delicate moment, where she was weak and naked in every way.

He always peered at the girl with a pout, undecided how to start a possible conversation, she was not helping him at all in this, she was always so quiet and on her own....

With a snort he saw her head for the kitchen for a snack. He had to do it now.

"Y/N" when he reached her the woman gasped slightly, she had not expected him to come and talk to her, they had ignored each other so peacefully until now, inside she regretted leaving her room.

"Yes?" she huffed slightly, turning away.

At first glance Taehyung looked like a man of integrity, serious and good at his job, but at that moment he was showing his face full of emotion. He seemed nervous about something.

"I ... would like to apologize to you," he said with a note of embarrassment, the girl's eyes widened.

"To me?"

"Yes, it was my fault that they managed to catch you that day. It was my responsibility to control and protect you, I broke my word and for that I apologize" Taehyung bowed respectfully, Y/N was simply stunned.

They had never treated her with that much respect, why now?

Something told her that Jimin's hand was present.

"It's not totally your fault, I attacked your friend and you were reasonably pissed off, I apologize for making you worry about Jimin's condition.... I lost my mind in that instant, I did the only thing I thought was right so I wouldn't suffer anymore," she explained with regret.

"You did what anyone would have done," Taehyung replied, "My anger aside, Jimin was not behaving well with you and you did what you thought was right, that doesn't mean I would allow you to do it again, but I can still understand and yes, it remains my responsibility what happened to you, there won't be a next time."

Y/N nodded a little embarrassed, the determined expression in those languidly slitted eyes put her slightly in awe.

"Um... would you like some strawberry tea? I've made too much for myself," she said turning slightly toward the full teapot, with a small smile Taehyung agreed.

"I love strawberries."

Jimin came home with such a serious look on his face that it made Y/N guess that it was better to turn away from him.

Taehyung had left ten minutes earlier and the idea of being alone with a Jimin in that state unnerved her, she did not want to think that the boy would attack her again for his frustrations, so it was best not to pull the cat's tail too much.

The boy in question noticed the girl's strange attitude, she was moving in a hurry to wash her dishes, she wanted to run to her room and this would have been clear even to the least empathetic person in the world.

"Y/N" the sound of his voice uttering her name so quietly made her freeze suddenly, the water continued to flow in the sink without any more purpose and she did not move to stop it, "Can you come here please?"

She closed her eyes with a soft, inaudible sigh, counted to three before turning away with a slight smile.

She left everything in the sink and turned off the water, then walked over to him who sat at the table staring at her with predatory, glittering eyes, one rings-decorated hand tapped on his thick, muscular thigh, the elastic fabric of his pants wrapped around it beautifully and she found herself swallowing, "Sit here."

She did as she was told and the boy's arms soon wrapped around her at hip level, Jimin buried his head between her neck and shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent.

Y/N felt herself flaring up, the sensation of Jimin's warm breath warmly caressing her made her heart, already swollen with unexpressed emotions, throb.

"Jimin?"

"I've missed you," he repeated the words with which he had returned her the day he found her, Y/N instantly relaxed noticing that Jimin did not mean to hurt her in any way.

"I missed you too," she returned the hug, sinking her face into the soft locks of the man who smiled broadly in response.

"It's been especially stressful to handle things today."

"Are you looking for Minho?"

She asked quietly, not giving away how much even mentioning his name destabilized her, but Jimin knew her well by now; in fact, he sent her a reproachful look.

"Don't ask things you don't want to know, baby," he softly stroked one cheek still marked by a light bruise.

"I just wish you would confide in me, you keep everything inside and then you get sick."

"I won't be sick if you're with me," he replied seriously, peering longingly at her, his eyes lowered to her sugary lips and he closed his eyes, trying to hold himself back.

"Jimin...."

"Y/N." he stopped her by pronouncing her name firmly, "I want to make love to you."

A delicious twinge of pleasure made her intimacy throb, the arms she held tightly around the boy's neck trembled, "Jimin, I don't know if..." she felt so confused.

Fuck, she wanted him. She wanted him with all her heart, but she didn't want to be reminded of Minho, or his henchman hitting her repeatedly as she and Jimin lost themselves in their moment.

"Let's try it," she narrowed her eyes at the man's pleading tone, it was a new side of Jimin she never thought she would see, perhaps he had never begged any woman to fuck, the idea that she was the first one he begged even for a kiss appealed to her, "If anything happens I will stop immediately."

After that reassurance she found herself nodding with soft legs, Jimin kissed her with transport, savoring those sweet lips that tasted of tea and strawberries, fuck, it could become his new favorite taste.

Y/N reciprocated more calmly, trying to keep up with the man's voraciousness that did not just stop at her lips, but sank into her mouth languidly seeking the woman's tongue, gently intertwining in a perfect dance for them.

In a way she found it touching how tender Jimin was in squeezing her hips without hurting her, she had never experienced such intimacy with a man before, she liked it, and she did not want it all to end and go back to the dry old normal.

When they parted a few tears escaped from the young woman's eyes, Jimin stepped back slightly wiping the path they traced along her tender cheeks.

"Should we stop?" he asked sympathetically, but Y/N denied it immediately.

"No, it's just... I liked it, I've never done it like that," she said.

"Like that?"

"So intimate, with someone who loves me" she pulled up with her nose crinkling her eyes.

Jimin's blood froze in his veins, not that he had been a saint, but those words punctuated how much the childhood of the girl he was holding in his arms had sucked.

He kissed her again, feeling in his mouth the salty, lukewarm taste of her small tears that broke his heart, yes, Park Jimin now felt sorry for a past that did not belong to him, but love did that and more, it changed people and Jimin fit perfectly into that category.

He loved her and would get anything that made her sad out of the way, he slid into the neckline of her blouse, kissing every available flap of skin before he himself pulled off every single button that separated him from that body that drove him crazy. From the first time he had seen her, he knew he would desire her every hour of every day, sometimes it hurt so much it was unbearable.

When he freed her from that restraint he found himself face to face with the young woman's bare breasts, he inhaled wordlessly at the sight, god how much he had missed this, even as Minho's now superficial footprints on that divine temple made him growl.

Then he frowned, "Were you bra-less the whole time with Taehyung around?"

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, "It hurt..." she mumbled embarrassedly, referring to the bruises clearly, the bra pressed painfully against them.

Jimin inhaled softly, again bridging the distance between the two of them with yet another kiss of the evening, lulling her gently with his breath, his hand slipped over a rosy little button, teasing its tip, which rose turgidly under Jimin's expert touch, which descended to gently lick the areola before gently biting the tip of the sensitive nipple.

Y/N in response pushed her chest into Jimin's mouth, sighing in sweet waves of desire.

The man pulled away only long enough to effortlessly pick her up and carry her to the sofa in the living room, Y/N held back a surprised sob, and she watched the man's playful smile.

"Will we do it here?" she asked curiously, Jimin chuckled.

"We'll do it everywhere, sweetheart," he sighed, attaching himself to the girl's neck with his mouth, sucking and kissing her soft neck to leave his personal mark; he wanted to remove Minho's presence everywhere from her, "And I'll make you feel sensations you never had a chance to experience."

"Mh..." she squeezed her eyes shut under the weight of Jimin descending lower and lower, marking a glowing trail of wet kisses and bites all along her belly, with his hand he passed the barrier of her panties and barely grazing her pubis he sank his hand into her intimacy, gathering between his fingers a large amount of transparent essence that had already left her throbbing slit. It was the first time he had felt her so soaked for him; it felt like a dream.

"Fuck," he cursed excitedly, quickly slipping off his pants with his free hand, giving his big, hard cock some relief.

He went back to sucking one of her turgid nipples as his fingers began to play between her folds, Y/N moved her hips willingly against his hand, in her mind the only thing present was the idea of Jimin taking her on that couch.

"How do you feel?" he asked blowing hot air on one nipple, Y/N's clit twitched seeking attention.

"It feels good... so good," she whimpered, her thighs trembling, "And I want to feel you inside me, Jimin."

The latter smiled, amazed at the woman's stance, before a more wicked grin furrowed his cheeks.

He leaned closer to the girl's ear before murmuring, "And I'm going to come inside you with my cock and my fingers, soon my cock will be the only thing you'll feel between now and tomorrow, baby doll," he ignored the girl's faster breathing and continued licking her earlobe between his lips, "But first I want you to feel what my tongue can do, I'm going to lick your pussy so well that you'll cry for it," he took off his shirt as well, showing off his well-delineated and strong abs, a deep V went down to below the layer of his boxers that he hastened to carelessly throw on the floor, the sight of his swollen cock already moist with precum made her swallow without any more saliva.

She simply spread her legs for Jimin, but the position reminded her of the one they had forced her into and she stiffened.

"Jimin..." she closed her legs again shaking her head, Jimin immediately reached for her.

"Hey, hey...what's going on, baby?"

"I can't do it like this, I'm sorry" she still couldn't get over her trauma, she was about to have a panic attack and didn't want to disappoint Jimin, but the boy hugged her again.

"There are many ways to do it," he chuckled lightly trying to make her calm down, "Don't feel wrong, you're not."

"R-Really?" she looked at him curiously, wanting to have sex with him, but other than missionary and doggy style she had not tried anything else, ever.

The man nodded, "Give me some space, love."

She did as she was told and saw Jimin lie down in her place, she stood looking at him confused.

"What should I do now?" she asked innocently, Jimin gave her a smug look.

"Sit on my face."

The woman widened her eyes, what was she to do?

"I ... are you serious?"

"Trust me, we'll both like it," he replied biting his full lips, making Y/N's legs tighten.

She sighed slightly and listened to the boy, with some difficulty due to her inexperience she found herself with Jimin's face at the height of her soggy core, she found it incredibly awkward, but that feeling of imprisonment was gone.

From his side Jimin gazed in ecstasy at her wet intimacy, licking his lips he opened her folds with a gentle thrust of his fingers, before leaving a long, slow streak of saliva with his tongue, until he stopped at her swollen and needy clitoris, Y/N widened her eyes and collapsed onto the man who did not complain.

With her nose pressed against the young woman's pubis, she sucked conspicuously on that sweet trembling pearl, Y/N cried out in shock at those strange sensations she had never experienced before, Jimin's soft tongue enveloped her softly, but the pleasure was intense, it was all so terribly beautiful and hard at the same time that she began to shake her hips trying to escape from the continuous strokes of Jimin's fast tongue. The boy seemed to love eating her.

"Fuck, oh... oh! Jimin!" she shrieked breathlessly, the man held her thighs tightly preventing her from escaping, sinking his tongue into her hot and wet entrance, Jimin's eyes rolled back at that sweet taste, he could drink Y/N's essence all his life, she would never be enough for him, his cock trembled releasing thick whitish liquid, he could have easily come that way, his balls throbbing painfully with every moan or scream the girl let out without any more reins.

"Please, please stop!" she cried as she felt something coming, something powerful and devastating.

With the tip of his tongue Jimin again played with the shiny, quivering clitoris, finishing with a light bite that made the young woman stiffen, locking her in the grip of a powerful and strong orgasm, breathtaking in places, her first fucking orgasm.

She began to tremble and weep, no longer even able to bear the gentle caresses of the man adoringly wiping away all her pleasure that had soiled the inside of her thighs down to Jimin's chin.

She rolled to the side clutching her legs and wincing again, Jimin lying on his side wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck and shoulders, gently brushed one thigh and invited her to raise one leg, "That's it, baby girl... let me feel how good I did," he chuckled as he aligned himself with her entrance, lightly pushed the massive tip of his cock already lubricated with his own cum against her ultra-sensitive slit, Y/N gasped slightly with blurred vision, but let him.

Jimin pushed himself into the sublime depths of her pussy with a delighted sigh, tried to be gentle and delicate, but her almost impossible to groove intimacy soon made him lose his mind, the girl's previous orgasm had made her walls more perceptive and consequently also tighter, each thrust was an immense rush of pleasure and stun for the boy, who pounded hard until his swollen balls popped against the girl's sweaty skin, who opened her mouth wide, feeling a stunning mix of enjoyment with a hint of pain that made her lose her mind, pressed her mouth against the back of the couch to keep from screaming, Jimin gasped against her ear.

It was different from all the other times, she was experiencing pleasure, those thrusts were delicious, not painful, Y/N was simply happy.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! You hold me so tight, my love," he sang lost in his daze, his swollen shaft began to quiver and tremble over and over again, he was coming, "Aaahh... Oh, my-! Fuck, Y/N!" he growled her name like a prayer, quickly sank his cock deeper, touching her cervix again and again, causing the woman to tremble wordlessly as she reached for the man's hand to clasp it between hers.

"I'm coming!" he exclaimed without now a breath, the girl nodded.

"Me too, oh God, me too," she replied without any more concern for her moans, Jimin smiled proudly and taking the young woman's chin in his hands he forced her to look at him.

"Open your mouth" he grunted with dark eyes, Y/N obeyed already knowing what was about to happen and accepting it with pleasure, Jimin spit into her oral cavity and before giving her time to swallow he kissed her, mixing their flavors and tongues, that was enough to make the young man's cock throb, whose pleasure exploded in violent spurts of white liquid in the girl's lap, over and over again he pumped himself into her, who came in an orgasm more intense than the previous one, she could not even find the strength to scream, she just stood there taking the man's seed in spasms.

Jimin waited for her to calm down before leaving her with his now soft and satisfied cock, he lay down beside her more comfortably and kissed her many times, wiping her face of tears with his lips and and gifting her affectionate gestures that even he did not know he was capable of.

He was fucking in love with her.

"I have a surprise for you," he murmured in her ear.

Y/N turned to him with a joyful smile, it had been two weeks since that intense and wonderful evening, Jimin had woken her up the next morning with a series of sweet kisses and breakfast in bed, he was so different from the man who had kidnapped her and that helped her fall in love with the boy even more.

"Really?" she asked trying not to appear too excited, Jimin nodded softly.

"Close your eyes," he said, but the girl looked at him suspiciously.

"Is this perhaps another one of your wild sessions that see your mouth eating me, Park Jimin?" she said with a raised eyebrow, Jimin at first had spent so much time telling her that he would never give her pleasure with his mouth, she still could not believe how much the boy liked to use his tongue to fuck her over and over again, he seemed almost obsessed. She obviously did not complain.

Jimin grinned slyly, "That one later, love," he chuckled, confirming the girl's thoughts, but Y/N stopped at that affectionate nickname, he always called her "love".

She smiled with a warmed heart once again and closed her eyes, when Jimin was satisfied he moved on to the next step.

"Now open your hands."

Y/N puffed slightly, but listened to him once more, something very light and rectangular was placed on her palms.

"Open your eyes."

When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in front of an emerald-colored letter. It was beautiful, little gold leaves were drawn around the edge, intertwining, but still she did not understand what the boy was getting at.

"You wrote me a letter?" she laughed softly, but Jimin shook his head.

"Open it..." he said simply, and there Y/N could see all his nervousness.

She looked at it again, opening it slowly and pulling out a parchment-colored wrapper, she unwrapped it too and her breath caught.

She brought a hand to her mouth and sobs immediately escaped her control, Jimin held her by the shoulders to prevent her from falling.

In her hands were two photographs, the first depicted her sister smiling in the arms of a man with western features, it had been taken at a park well lit by green trees and sunlight, she looked so happy and healthy.

In the second she always had a big smile on her face, but in her arms she held a small bundle that she looked at with eyes full of love.

"She's alive," she sobbed against the chest of Jimin, who nodded relieved to have seen no negative reaction.

"Yes, she ... was bought by a wealthy american, he wanted to give her to his son as a birthday present, but he didn't expect that his son would fall in love with her and decide to marry her, she is fine and lacks absolutely nothing, Y/N."

Y/N lifted his flushed gaze into that of the boy, "Thank you, Jimin.... I know you shouldn't have investigated a client, but you did and I thank you," she hugged him as if he was her only pillar of support, which he really was.

But the boy did not look happy, shortly afterwards he sighed.

"There is also another thing in truth."

Y/N broke away slightly.

"I know everything, I know why you ran away from your family, I know why you changed your name, everything."

The woman froze.

She began to shake her head, trying to pull away, but Jimin held her back, "How did you… no, why?" she was lost, why would Jimin do such a thing? She wanted to forget her past!

"How long have you known?"

"Since you disappeared, the last words you said to me… I had to understand, Y/N."

"No! You shouldn't have done-"

"Your uncle met the end he deserved to meet," he said suddenly.

The implication was there, heavy in both their minds.

They looked at each other a few moments, then Jimin hugged her out of the blue.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he began to repeat like a mantra with his lips pressed to her temple, "He won't hurt you anymore, baby," he whispered, Y/N snuggled softly against him.

"Never again?" she made in a tiny little voice, as if the child self was asking for reassurance from the man who had become the center of her world.

"Y/N, I haven't changed," he said, the steel in his eyes confirmed to the girl what she had suspected. Jimin had not changed, he loved her and treated her well, but the killer behind those half-moon eyes that smiled at her was always there, ready to snap at Kim Seokjin's every command, and to tell the truth that realization calmed her, "I made him pay for every single disgusting thing he did to you and I made sure he will never do anything like that to anyone else ever again," he concluded, returning his mind to the moment of capture.

It had not been easy to track him down, it had turned out that he was a loan shark under the command of another Korean Mafia family, that was what got him a lot of money unlike his brother and sister-in-law.

"He played us, he said he was going to help our family," she trembled with her eyes glazed over and grainy, looking at Jimin with sadness and sorrow, "Instead it was just an excuse to..." a gasp of vomit blocked the words in her throat, Jimin brushed a light kiss against her forehead.

"That bastard got the punishment he deserved, now you're with me, that's what's important, okay?" Y/N nodded quickly, seeking comfort in his arms. Little Y/N cried bitterly in the mind of the now adult girl, seeing her mother giving in under her father's pressure, the man feared losing her brother's favor and ending up on the street.

"Do you really love me?"

"More than my own life," Jimin replied immediately, Y/N licked her lips.

"Good, because I love you too, Jimin," she whispered dimly, but the boy heard her anyway, smiling relieved he still cradled her with his chin resting on her head.

"I'll take care of you, I won't let you lack anything," he promised, Y/N closed her eyes letting him carry her to bed like a cute little doll.

[shina913]

Bitter(Sweet) | JWW

Bitter(Sweet)

Pairing: Wonwoo x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: Infidelity!AU; exes!AU; angst; smut; some fluff

Warnings: cussing; sexually suggestive language; clit play; protected sex; questionable morals; open conversation about infidelity; hurt without comfort

Word count: 4.8K words

Summary: You and Wonwoo reunite to celebrate a special evening.

A/N: If you don't like reading about cheaters - you are free to skip! Thank you, Sim @/roaminginthenights for your notes. They added more depth and nuance to the story in so many words. I appreciate you, my friend!

A/N2: Originally posted on my SVT sideblog but I've decided to merge everything on main now. I also have a version of this fic with BTS' Namjoon, if you choose to read it with that character.

You’re sitting in the airport parking lot, tapping your fingers happily to the beat of the song playing on your car radio. You glance at the time, it wouldn’t be too long; he’d be walking out of those doors soon. Until then, you continue to hum to the song.

Tonight is special. A night you didn’t think you’d ever celebrate again. Yet here you were, in a rental car, in a town you’d left years before.

Other than one particular overnight reservation, there are no other formal plans. You’d order takeout and perhaps pick up a bottle of wine or two from the corner store.

Your phone rings. You bring it up to check the caller ID and smile when you recognize the name flashing on the screen.

“Hi, honey!”

“Hi mom,” your daughter greets you on speakerphone.

“Is everything okay?”

She goes on to ask permission to do a facemask with her cousin. While she rambles on about other activities they have planned for their sleepover, you distantly hear the passenger door open. You quickly turn your head to smile at him then bring your pointer finger to your lips signaling him not to say a word.

“Mom? Helloooo? Are you listening to me?”

You scramble to get back to your call as your passenger shuts the door. “Uh–sure, honey. That all sounds great. Just make sure you get some sleep and listen to auntie, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And you know I told you that I have a late-night meeting so no phone calls but you can always text–”

“I know, mom.” She’s exasperated in a manner that only middle-schoolers who know it all would be. You exchange ‘I-love-you’s’ before she ends the call.

And now, you can properly greet your new arrival.

“Hi,” Wonwoo says.

“Hi,” you greet him with a smile. “That was Yuna.”

“So I heard,” he smiles. “Is she sleeping over at Emma’s?”

You nod. “She’s thrilled. It’s a school night and she gets to stay up late with her favorite cousin.”

He chuckles. “I don’t know if I can top organic facemasks when she comes over next week, but I’ll try.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy with whatever you’ve got planned for her.” 

“Right. As long as she’s happy.”

You nod then let out a long sigh before telling him, “You know, at some point, we need to stop meeting like this.” That’s what you also said last time. And the time before that. You’re fully aware of it and you think that if you say it enough times, you believe it and actually stop.

“I know,” he breathes out before cupping your nape to bring your face to his, sealing his lips over yours. You don’t pull away or give any hint of protest. You melt right into him, your mouth parting to let his tongue savor you.

You miss this. You miss him.

Somehow, you find the willpower to wrench yourself away from him. “Easy there. We’re still in the parking lot.”

You can see the mischief in his eyes even through his glasses. “So? It’s not like that’s stopped us before.” His hands trail between your legs, cupping your heat.

“I know but,” you gently push his hand away. “We have a reservation and it’s late so we should probably get going.”

He sighs, relenting. “Okay.” He reaches back for the seatbelt then stops short of buckling in. “By the way, happy anniversary,” he grins.

You feel a flutter in your chest and your cheeks warm up. “Happy anniversary,” you reply.

******

Wonwoo scrolls through his phone, scanning for the email confirmation that contained the security code and instructions to unlock the rental.

“Are you sure you have it?”

You are both standing on the front porch of your Airbnb, using your phone's flashlight to help him see his phone better. He was nearly blind as a bat, especially in the dark, even with his glasses on.

“I’ve got it! Trust me.” He scrolls some more until he exclaims, and finally sees the coveted email.

He carefully punches the code on the door’s keypad until you hear it chime, confirming that you’ve gained access.

You walk through the door and into this place that is known to you. But seeing it again after so long, makes it feel unfamiliar.

The first thing you notice is that the foyer has been redone. The divider wall that used to separate the kitchen and living room has since been knocked down to give it a more ‘open’ layout. 

The furniture is all generic. Not much thought was put into picking them out. The colors also don’t provide much contrast to the equally bland walls. It all blends in but not in a good way.

“Why is everything so white?” You remark.

“It supposedly gives the illusion of a bright and open space.” Wonwoo sets your bags at the base of the staircase.

“Feels more like a hospital to me,” you reply dryly, to his amusement. He moves into the kitchen, helping himself to the contents of the cupboards.

You follow behind, wandering over to the counter, where there is a binder listing the ‘house rules.’

“No parties, no loud music,” you read random bullet points out loud. “Quiet time at 10PM. Interesting.”

His arms circle your waist from behind, and you feel him nuzzle into your neck, planting a soft kiss. “Can you stay quiet after 10PM?” He murmurs against your skin.

“Shut up,” you giggle and break out of his hold and playfully pinch him on his side. “Only if you keep your hands to yourself after 10PM,” you tease him back, making him burst into laughter.

You walk around the place some more, scanning and assessing. You’re surprised at how many more modifications have been made. Gone were the warm, earthy tones that you painted the living room and the kitchen.

What was wrong with the way things were before? The interior designer you hired found a great way to marry modern and vintage concepts!

You shake your head in mild irritation.

The upstairs bedrooms feel just as desolate with the plain white, sanitized walls. At least the new owners attempted to break the monotony with a few framed watercolor prints and scenic photographs, no doubt purchased from a big-box store.

You find yourself standing in the midst of your old master bedroom. You see hints of the old furnishings layered with the new. It certainly wasn’t how you remembered it.

“Huh.” Wonwoo says when he walks in. “Why didn’t we think of putting the bed against that side of the room before?”

You roll your eyes at him. “Because you get up to go to the bathroom more often than I do so that’s why we put it on the side that was closer to the en suite.”

His mouth drops slightly with a soft ‘ah,’ in sudden realization. “Well, I’ll have to admit, you were right. You should have ignored me and gone with your original plan.”

“I appreciate you acknowledging that, years later.” You roll your eyes and brush past him on your way out. “But as you know, marriage is about compromise,” you call past your shoulder. 

“I’m ordering the pizza!” Your voice echoes down the staircase.

Wonwoo spends a few more minutes in this room, allowing himself to reminisce before finding the strength to tear himself away and rejoin you in the kitchen.

******

You’re sitting at your old kitchen counter, eating pizza and sharing a bottle of wine that Wonwoo ended up stealing from the owner’s kitchen. When you question him as to whether the alcohol was included in your AirBnB reservation, he shrugs and promises to replace it instead.

“So, are you seeing anyone?”

You stop mid-bite, taken aback by his question. “Wow, already?”

“What? I’m just making conversation.” He says casually as he takes a sip of wine. “And I’m nosy,” he snickers.

You giggle at his admission. “Nope, not seeing anyone. I had–what I thought was a connection a month ago…but that was a false flag. I’ve decided to hang back, take a break…be alone for a bit, you know? I’m not really looking for anything serious anyway.”

His expression turns sullen. He clears his throat before saying, “I thought you had a connection with Seojun. Things looked pretty serious.”

The reminder of your fatal mistake doesn’t sting as much as it did before. And he wasn’t as angry and bitter when he brings it up.

“Seojun was…” you sigh, collecting your thoughts so as not to create unnecessary ripples in this still water. “He was good for me at the time. He was who I needed at the time. But long-term?” You scrunch your face and shook your head. “I didn’t think that far down the road.” 

He used to always ask ‘why.’ Why did you do what you did? Why did you make those choices?

You were together for five years before you married. Two years later, you had Yuna and everything seemed picture-perfect. You thought that you were doing well and that you might really have a knack for marriage and monogamy. It was a point in your relationship when you thought that nothing could ever break you.

But it turns out that anything and everything can break you.

Seojun came along and it was as if something that had long been dormant ignited within you. You thought it would be a one-off, but it wasn’t. For months you thought Wonwoo would suspect whether anything felt off. It wasn’t like you were trying to get caught but maybe some part of you wanted him to catch you. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he seemed happily blissful in his own world, seeing everything through rose-colored lenses.

You pick up your wine glass and tip the contents into your mouth, emptying it. When you set it back down on the counter, you look at him, staring at you.

“But you loved him, right?” He asks between mouthfuls of pizza.

You pause for a few long beats before responding. “Sure. In a way, yeah.” Your answer is noncommittal but the truth was, you didn’t know for sure if what you felt for Seojun was love. It certainly wasn’t the same as what you felt for Wonwoo. He was in his own category.

“I don’t get it though. Why would you want to be alone?”

You scoff and straighten in your seat, feeling the urge to be defensive. “I don’t get why you’re suddenly concerned about my choice to be alone.”

“No, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” He switches tact, sensing that your walls start to go back up. “I remember back then, you used to say that a lot…that you like being alone and that you didn’t believe in marriage or lifelong partnership. And yet–you still agreed to marry me when I asked. So no, I don’t believe that your ultimate desire or goal is to be alone.”

You pour yourself another glass. “You were different. Being with you, what we had–it made me want to prove myself wrong. That perhaps I do have the marriage gene in me and I can make it last.” You pick at a piece of pepperoni on your slice. “I’d like to believe that I did. I tried to keep things together to make things work for us.”

Wonwoo reaches for your hand and brushes his fingers over your knuckles in an attempt to console you.

“Turned out well, right?” You remark sarcastically, throwing your free hand up in defeat. “I failed. So, I conclude that I just don’t have it in me.” 

“The marriage gene?”

“Uh-huh. I’m doomed!” You laugh darkly.

You were happily resigned to that fact. Wonwoo was a beautiful anomaly. While your time may have been short-lived, it still added meaning to your generally doomed perspective on marriage and relationships.

His fingers curl around your hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. “For what it’s worth, I thought you were great at it.”

You smile wistfully and bring his hand up to your lips to kiss it. “Thank you. That’s kind of you to say.”

******

You were in the upstairs bathroom washing up when Wonwoo excused himself to retrieve a couple of things from his jacket pocket downstairs when his phone starts buzzing.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Hey, how’s it going? I’ve been trying to reach you. How was your flight?” the female voice says on the other line.

He clears his throat and hides away in what used to be his office. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, sweetheart. You know how it is at my dad’s house. The reception’s shit.”

“Why are you whispering?” She asks.

“Dad just fell asleep. You know how he’s such a light sleeper.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re right. Do you think you’ll be able to finish up whatever you need to over there? I have some miles on my card and fly out tomorrow to come over and help?”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Wonwoo tells her calmly. “Dad and I are just about done packing up some of his old things here so, he’ll be ready to move into the facility. He’s really looking forward to it.”

“Is he? That’s great.”

“Yeah. Anyway, I have to go. I’m trying to sort through a few more of his things here while he sleeps. I work faster when he doesn’t stop to admire each item and talk about what it meant to him.”

“Okay. Just call me if your flight changes. I love you!”

He hears the floorboard creak and looks up from his seat to find you leaning against the door frame, dressed in nothing but a black lace teddy. Biting his lower lip, he says, “I love you, too.”

As soon as he hangs up, he tugs at your wrist and ravishes you.

******

“You think she’d ever suspect anything between us?” You wonder out loud while you both lay naked in your former marriage bed, basking in your post-sex high.

He shakes his head adamantly. “I think ‘you and me’ is the last thing on her mind.”

You laugh at how confident he made that sound.

“I’m serious!” He says firmly. “This is not even remotely on her list of possibilities! She knows what happened between us so this is highly unlikely for her.”

You sit up against the headboard and stare at him in disbelief. “You told her about us?”

He shrugs, not seeing the problem with it. “It was all part of my therapy and healing process so…yeah. I told her everything.”

“So, does she think I’m, like, the devil incarnate or something?” You try to mask the pang of guilt in your chest by making light of it.

“Nah. She doesn’t really think about you.” Then he immediately adds, “I’m not saying that to be hurtful or dismissive. I think at the time she thought she was somebody who could, I don’t know, put me back together or something.”

Even though you’ve both said your pieces over the years and talked things over, traded apologies, and accepted them, it still felt inadequate.

“I’m sorry,” you say instinctively.

He sits up to mirror your posture and dips his head to kiss your bare shoulder. “You’ve said that already.”

“Yeah but–” He cuts you off mid-sentence with another kiss, his lips lingering over yours.

“No buts. We’re good, okay? I’m good.” He reassures you.

But you press him anyway. “Okay, I’m sorry to keep dropping the reality check here but what if she finds out?” 

He sighs, a wry smile on his lips. “If she does…” he trails off without finishing his thought. He straightens his posture, turning serious. “I guess you could say that I’m no longer scared of being labeled the bad guy. I spent a good chunk of my life trying to do the right thing and being a good person. Always doing what is morally acceptable.”

You tilt your head at him in curiosity. He’s changed a lot, but just like your old house, even though the fixtures have been replaced, walls knocked down and repainted, and furniture layout rearranged, you can still see hints of what it used to be.

He’s still the same Wonwoo you fell in love with, beneath this new cynical, detached exterior. He wasn’t always open about his emotions but in the rare cases that he would wear his heart on his sleeve, you saw and felt it.

Right now, he was baring his soul to you.

“I’m not saying that I’m proud of it. You know, the affairs. I have needs that she can’t fulfill,” he shrugs. “There’s acceptance on my part. I’m not trying to claim righteousness or hide behind morals. And that’s okay. I’m okay with that!”

You’re silent as you take in his ruminations. In a way, it saddens you that he’s adopted this perspective. You always knew him as an idealist–someone who, as he said himself, ‘always did the right thing.’ Which was why it crushed him when you confessed your infidelity.

He stares at you for a minute before breaking into a chuckle. “What?”

“What?” You echo, your eyebrows furrowing.

“Say something!” He laughs.

“I mean, what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know! Anything. Scold me or, I don’t know…tell me that this isn’t right. ‘Your wife doesn’t deserve this! You’re a terrible husband!’” He says jokingly.

“I am the last person to judge, okay? If it doesn’t keep you up at night…” you trail off.

He nods at that.

But then you cock your eyebrow at him, picking up on what he said moments ago. “So, ‘affairs?’ You mean, there’s more?”

“I had some fling a few months ago. It was meaningless,” he add quickly, as if that contributed to anything. “And there were a couple of one-night stands but I don’t think they count.”

“Mm…” you hum vaguely.

******

Wonwoo cracks open another bottle of wine and brings it upstairs, where you both drink in bed and continue to trade stories.

“I didn’t really want to get married again. We were having a good time and she’s great,” he recounts the early days of his new relationship. “Sometimes it’s easy to confuse great sex with love.”

“Mm-hmm. Speak for yourself,” you remark.

He smirks at your comment. “But…there she was, down on one knee, asking me to marry her. And so I did. We’ve been living together anyway so, might as well, right?” He shifts and changes his tone, feeling the need to clarify that he’s not a complete asshole. “I hope you’re not taking this the wrong way but she and I are good. We’re comfortable. It’s like, we speak the same language.” 

He’s tipsy and babbling but you let him. “That’s great,” you smile softly, taking a sip of wine.

“The sex is not.” You nearly choke at his revelation. “A month after we got married–phew–” He makes a whistling sound and makes a quick, swooping gesture with his hand. “Out the door, it went.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you say with all sincerity.

He shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“But don’t you love her?”

He purses his lips and tilts his head from side to side. “In a certain way, sure.” He mirrors your answer from earlier this evening.

You nod vaguely, letting the words hang in the air while you both fall into a comfortable silence.

After a few beats he says, “I’ll never love anyone the way I loved you. That’s a fact.”

This isn’t the first time he’s told you this. He’s declared it several times, at least once during one of your clandestine meetings.

“When we were together, I never thought we’d split up. That never occurred to me. So–what I have with her it’s…it’s an entirely different kind of love. But if or when she suddenly comes to me and asks for a divorce, I’d give it to her. I feel like that’s where this is headed anyway.” He downs the rest of his wine before setting it down on the nightstand. “I would compare it to a piece of tape. You stick it on then peel it off and try to stick it someplace else. It might take, if you tried hard enough but…it’s never quite the same.”

You lick your dried-out lips and let out a shaky breath. “God, that sounds really sad,” your voice cracks.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not sad about it so you shouldn’t be!” He maintains his lightheartedness. “I think it’s perfectly fine to have different types of love, different types of relationships. Mine happens to be unconventional.”

“Unconventional, yes. But the way you speak about it, it’s as if you’re saying that you’re totally comfortable with the fact that you’ll never truly love again. That’s what saddens me.”

“I never said that,” he says in defense. “I never said I’ll never truly love again.” Then he looks you in the eye and says matter-of-factly, “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

The look he gives you sends an involuntary shiver down to your spine which makes its way between your legs. “Yes, but what we have is different. We’ve both gone through the worst possible thing that could happen in our relationship; which is why when you’re with me, there are no surprises. No unrealistic expectations. There’s no fear lurking around because it’s all laid out for you.”

His expression is steady and unchanged. “And I’m saying this is what works for me right now. This is what works for us–”

“Ugh, Wonwoo…” you groan, sinking back into the mattress and turning on your side, facing away from him. “That’s such a fucked up way of looking at the situation. You know how fucked up we are! We’re still reeling from how our marriage ended and…” You bury your face in your palms and groan in frustration again. “Who would have thought even after we signed those papers, that it didn’t really mean the end…Like, right that second? I wish that somebody told us that breaking up takes much longer than that.”

You feel the bed dip behind you as he scoots closer, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you flush against him. “It’s like we said, it just takes time, baby.”

“But it’s been five years!” You whine petulantly. “I just want to be done with it! You said that after we’re divorced, we’d move on and start fresh.” You turn your body around, his face is so close to yours. “Now, we’re just in this endless cycle of grief and trauma.”

You close your eyes and you feel him press his forehead on yours in silent agreement. You don’t remember how long you hold each other like that. He quiets your whimpers with the softest kisses until you both drift off to sleep.

******

“No!” Wonwoo cries out, jolting you both awake. He sits up abruptly, with his head in his hands. His back is covered in sweat and his heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest.

“Hey.” You sit up and rub circles on his back consolingly. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yeah,” he sniffs and wipes his tears away.

You offer to get him a drink of water but he declines. He gets out of bed and paces around the room.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?”

“Uh…” he breathes before sitting back down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah. I’m…trying to remember bits and pieces.” He takes a minute to regulate his breathing while simultaneously collecting his thoughts. “We were walking down the street, coming back from a dinner party or something. And then, we needed to cross the street for whatever reason.”

You hug your knees to your chest while you listen to him.

“I was holding your hand so we could go together but you went on and darted out into the dark road. I kept calling out to you but you kept moving farther away from me. I tried so hard to run after you but it was as if my feet were sealed into the concrete.” A tear rolls down his cheek. “I felt so helpless because I wanted to get to you and–I couldn’t see you. You were gone.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. C’mere,” You open up your arms and beckon him to come back to bed.

He obliges and nuzzles into touch. “I couldn’t get to you,” he cried.

“It was just a dream, baby.” You whisper calmly into his ear, rubbing his back to console him.

He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. “It’s not the first time I had a dream about losing you. I’ve had different versions of that dream where you disappear into the dark and I can’t move my body to reach out to you. It’s like–I’m perpetually stuck or something.”

All you can do is listen. This was his trauma talking. You continue to rub his back and rock him gently.

“You know, sometimes I wonder if…if I’ll ever love anybody. Like, truly love them. Or maybe I’ve never been truly loved before. Maybe…maybe that’s what it means. I’ll never be able to have the ability to–“ 

“Hey,” you interject. You pull his face away from your shoulder and cup his cheeks. “Listen to me— I love you. In my own… twisted way. And I know that you love me. In your own way.”

He smiles ruefully, his eyes welling up with emotion.

You gaze at him, brushing his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb. “I will always love you,” you say reassuringly before bringing your lips to his.

Your gentle kisses turn hungry and you can’t help when your body responds to him instinctively. Your need for him is unrelenting.

One moment he’s telling you about a nightmare and the next, you’re wrapped up in each other’s arms, your legs on either side of his hips. It doesn’t take him long to be ready for you, especially when you’re naked and bare for him.

You undulate your hips, grinding your slick over his length. His hands gripping your waist, guiding you while you pleasure yourself with the delicious friction.

“Mm, you’re so wet for me,” he whispers, reaching between you to rub circles on your clit.

“Mm-hmm,” is all you can muster.

“You ready for me, huh?” He nips at your bottom lip.

You give him a nod and he manages to pause his ministrations to reach across the nightstand. Once he sheaths himself, he takes one swift move and slips right into your center.

Each thrust is purposeful. Your fingers grip his hair as you moan into his shoulder. He gently sinks his teeth into your tender flesh, groaning. You're both floating and it’s a special kind of high.

One look at him and you heat up to a fever pitch. You take comfort in the deep baritone of his voice, goading you, whispering his naughtiest fantasies about you when you’re apart. You feel him touch you and you know it’s what you’ve been missing. He completes you. 

You move in perfect sync as if you never separated. When you’re intimate like this, the questions and doubts fade when your bodies close in, filling every gap. Your connection is unrivaled.

He pulls back. “You close?”

Not that he needed an answer but he just loves watching you come undone. He ups the ante, cupping your ass cheeks and combining deep plunges with swivels, thrusting sharply and retracting slowly. Your head lolls back, dizzy with pleasure and at the same time awed by the heights he takes you to. Places where you can simultaneously forget and remember. Where nothing and nobody else exists except you and him and the mutual passion you share.

The sweat misting his brow glistens in the dusky light, his face beginning to strain as your release crests and finally crashes down. Instantly, you shudder, the tingling becoming too much to bear, your skin too sensitive. He is attuned to your body, because he stops his movements and applies pressure where you need it, keeping your hypersensitivity at bay, as his own climax hits him hard. His growls are suppressed, his face crimson with the rush of blood to his head. Your walls squeeze him greedily, prolonging your pleasure as he empties himself into you.

Wonwoo drops you both onto the mattress, collapsing in a heap of exhaustion. He is glued to your slick chest, where he will remain for the next ten minutes, snoozing, nuzzling, and kissing your neck. You hold him and savor the moment before you part and return to the alternate realities you both worked hard to establish.

Deep down, you know you’ve ruined him. You didn’t mean to. He was nothing but an innocent bystander in your own path of self-destruction. Perhaps, as your lifelong penance, you’d spend the rest of your days assuring him that he’s not broken and that he deserves unconditional love. 

You breathe into his shoulder as you settle, holding him as close as you possibly can. In your own quiet way, you're telling him that you're happy to remain like this.

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You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

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[i-am-baechu]

ᡣ𐭩 Title: Unread 

ᡣ𐭩 Paring: Class President! Kim Namjoon x Shy! Violinist! Reader 

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: Having a crush is hard, especially on someone like Kim Namjoon. At least her letters can tell him how she feels without facing the sad reality. 

ᡣ𐭩 Rating: Explicit (18+) 

ᡣ𐭩 Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, smut, extremely shy reader, heartfelt, Cinderella-ish, and crush situation 

ᡣ𐭩 Part of the The Legendary Seven

ᡣ𐭩 Playlist: Someday, Somewhere - Jolin Tsai and Understand - Keshi 

ᡣ𐭩 Warnings: Insecurities and bullying

ᡣ𐭩 Authors Note: I completely changed this story. I had it ready to post but I wasn’t happy with the story. So, I rewrote it. I love how this turned out and thank you for being patient! 

“Two of The legendary seven are taken. The world is ending soon. I just know it. That’s why they're moving as fast as they can to be with someone. It’s interesting to see that Kim Taehyung is taken by someone like a fortune teller's daughter. It makes it more interesting that before they became exclusive, Taehyung was actually seeing Jennie. The other heartthrob of our lovely school. I know people can change overnight but this is a scientist's worst nightmare. An unexplained outcome. The new couple has been seen countless times at Boo Seungkwan games and they got together because of his help. His aunt’s party was one of the stepping stones they needed. What really got them together was Taehyung’s grandmother's party. The lovebirds have been together since. I do wonder if she knows about the relationship that Taehyung had with Jennie. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that held secrets from me. Especially when these secrets are about past affections with someone. Until then, Pen.” 

Y/N just like everyone else read the post on the website but unlike everyone, she didn’t digest the gossip in excitement. Everyone always has something to say regardless of status. An opinion is always there. Sometimes it's needed but other times it's unnecessary and cruel. This blog did just that but she’s guilty because every Friday she comes back to read. It wasn’t a good feeling but one must know what's going on. Even if it’s bad.

Y/N glanced through the music window and her eyes landed on Kim Namjoon. The way the sunset highlighted his features could make a painting jealous and the way he smiled could bring in ships on a dark night. She looked away and glanced down at her shoes as she felt her face get warm. She hated to stare and she knew it wasn’t ladylike but even she broke the rules when it was necessary. 

Just then the door opened and she looked up to see who it was. Her face brightened when she saw who it was, “Soo-Young.” 

Park Soo-Young was her older cousin by two years and her only friend in this big school. All her other friends graduated. Soo-Young always took care of her because of her timid nature. Soo-Young was everything Y/N wasn’t. A person who stands up for what she believes in while Y/N stays quiet and takes the abuse from others. 

Soo-Young glanced at her violin and smiled, “Practicing for the competition?”

Y/N nodded her head and glanced outside. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who was talking to Seokjin, “I made the piece myself.”

“Oh? What’s it about?”

“Unrequited love.” 

L/N Y/N ranked number 10 in Seoul University and is known as the diamond of the L/N family. The timid swan that plays beautiful melodies that could make the flowers bloom in winter has a secret. She’s in love with Kim Namjoon and she has been since their first meeting. It happened four years ago…

Every year her father held a ball in celebration of his business. Everyone was dressed in the most beautiful dresses one can acquire with the most expensive jewels. Y/N hated these balls but she went to them because her parents wanted her to socialize. They knew their daughter was timid so they thought making this party would make it easier for her to interact. Y/N was dressed in a nude embroidered tulle gown with wing sleeves. It was rather simple compared to everyone else but she liked that. If she were in an art gallery, she would be the frame, not the painting. 

She pushed her hair behind her ear and moved towards the instruments. The players were taking a break and she couldn’t help but look at the violin. She gently picked it up and headed towards the garden. No one even noticed her leave. She sat on the bench and started to play a melody that came to her mind. As she played, she didn’t realize someone was watching her. 

When she finished, she smiled to herself but it quickly faded when she heard a clap. She quickly stood up and her eyes landed on a tall figure with a kind smile. She glanced away and bowed her head in an awkward manner. 

“You played beautifully.” 

She looked back at the mystery man and smiled, “Thank you...” It was so quiet that even the wind didn’t catch it but he did. 

“How long have you played?” 

Her lips formed a tight smile and she felt her face get hot, “I’ve been playing since I was six.”

“Oh, wow. Are you a professional?” 

“Oh, go-god no. I could never meet their levels.” 

“Well, I think you can.” 

Their eyes locked onto each other but she was the first to break the stare, “I-I have to go.”

“Can I get your name?” 

She glanced back at him and looked at the flowers below him, “Y/N...L/N Y/N.”

He smiled at this and it was a gentle smile that made her heart feel safe, “I’m Kim Namjoon.”

How could she not fall for him? He was the only one who noticed her leave the room. She wasn’t used to that attention. It wasn’t much but it was enough to make her heart flutter. She was so sure that he forgot about her. She never saw him at the parties again and she couldn’t talk to him at school. That would be a death wish. 

She turned towards Soo-Young and smiled, “Is Irene ready for us?”

Soo-Young smiled and nodded her head, “She’s waiting for us with Seulgi and Wendy.” 

Y/N nodded her head and stood up, “Let me put my violin away and I’ll meet you at your car. Is that okay with you?”

Soo-Young nodded her head, “I’ll turn the AC on for you.”

“Thank you...” 

When the door closed, Y/N opened her bag to pull out an envelope. She looked at the pink envelope and took a deep breath. Every Friday she did this and she wasn't going to change that. She put her violin away and walked into the empty hallway. She glanced around and went inside the student council room without making any sound. That’s the benefit of being so quiet. No one notices you. She glanced at Namjoon’s desk and opened her envelope to read her letter, 

Dear Namjoon, 

I have no idea if you read these but if you do then you know my affection towards you. I wish I could say it to your face but one doesn’t want to get humiliated. I saw your speech about the students the other day. I admire the way you can inspire others with your confidence and reliability. It’s amazing to see that especially someone your age. I wish I could be like you and maybe then I can say those unsaid confessions to your face. Someday I can...

Until then, 

Have a nice day. 

She folded the paper back into the envelope and placed the letter in the folder that he always reads. She took one final glance at the folder and walked out of the room. She quickly made her way to the parking lot avoiding everyone in the process. 

Namjoon was talking to Seokjin and frowned, “Is Taehyung okay?”

“They’re okay. It’s just Lin right now. She doesn’t like to be known as the fortune teller's daughter.” 

Namjoon sighed and nodded his head, “I know. I hope she’s doing okay.”

Jin smiled and nodded his head, “She has Taehyung. She’ll be fine.”

Namjoon glanced over Jin’s shoulder and saw Y/N running with her head down. He smiled to himself and looked back at Jin, “We should still check on them.” 

“Well, we're going to meet up with them at Hoseok’s dance competition tonight. Should we do it before or after?”

“Before. So then we can focus on Hoseok for the rest of the night.” Namjoon nodded his head and glanced over Jin’s shoulder but Y/N was gone. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “We should get going then.” 

“Yes, class president.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

Y/N came into the car and Soo-Young leaned forward pushing some hair away from her face, “You look flustered. Are you okay?” 

She swallowed some spit and nodded her head, “I-I’m okay. I had to tune my violin and I didn’t want to keep you waiting. I rushed out here as fast as I could. I’m sorry.”

Soo-Young shook her head at this, “Y/N I was only waiting for six minutes or something. It’s okay. You don’t need to say sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“Y/N.”

“Sorry..oh, god.”

Soo-Young let out a laugh and turned up the radio, “Let’s go before Irene yells at us for being late.”

“Okay.” 

The car drove away and Y/N glanced outside. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who was standing outside Seokjin's Porsche. She smiled to herself when she saw his smile and she turned away with the smile plastered on her face. Namjoon glanced at the car that was leaving the parking lot and he continued to watch the car until it was out of his sight. 

“You're coming in?”

Namjoon let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Yeah.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Y/N Walked down the hallway with her head down. She glanced at the popular girls (it was hard not to when they were so loud) but she quickly looked away when one of them returned the stare. She turned around and started to walk away but was stopped when she heard her name. 

She slowly turned around and was met with Jessica who was giving her that look that made her feel so small, “When is the ball?”

“It’s next month...”

“What? I can’t hear you, be louder, mouse.” 

“Jessica, leave her alone.” 

She turned around and saw Bora with a stern look. Bora was Jungkook’s new girlfriend and the talk of the school a couple of months ago. Y/N has never talked to her and the closest she has ever got to a conversation was when Bora asked for paper. Y/N blinked her eyes in shock and continued to stare at Bora who was now in front of her. 

Jessica glared at Bora and crossed her arms, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Didn’t Jungkook tell you what he would do if you messed with me?” 

Jessica clicked her tongue and she turned around to walk away. Before she could, she glanced at Y/N over her shoulder with an annoyed look, “I’ll see you at the party.” 

Y/N watched her leave with a confused look. She turned towards Bora and bowed at her, “Th-Thank you.” 

Bora turned towards her and smiled, “Jessica is unbearable and no one should deal with her high-pitched noise that she calls a voice.”

Y/N frowned and shook her head, “I’m sure her parents like to hear her voice.” 

Bora let out a small laugh, “They don’t have a choice but we do. Where were you heading to?” 

“I was going to the music room.” 

Bora nodded her head and glanced at Y/N’s violin case, “I heard you place at the Cosmic Hall last year. It was beautiful.” 

Y/N felt her face get warm and bowed to her, “Thank you, I appreciate the listen.”

“Are you performing at this year's competition?” 

Y/N looked away from the curious eyes and nodded her head, “I-I will be...”

“I will tell Jungkook to come and listen to your music.”

“Yo-You don’t have to do that. I’m sure he has better things.” 

Bora shook her head and let out a small laugh, “He doesn’t. Everyone should listen to you play. The peace it can bring into someone’s life is remarkable. I’ll see you Friday night.”

Y/N bowed at her and watched her leave with curious eyes. Bora was nice and the more Y/N thought about it the more it made sense for Jungkook to be with her. Opposites attract. Y/N turned around and continued to make her way to her second home. She opened the door and was met with Soo-Young’s bright smile as she played the piano, “Y/N, I’m excited to hear your piece.” 

Y/N closed the door and nodded her head, “I don’t know if it's good.”

Soo-Young frowned at this and walked away from the ivory keys. Y/N stared at the white tiles as she listened to Soo-Young’s heels clicking, “Y/N, have some confidence. I think you're amazing. Everyone thinks you're amazing, please think the same.” 

Y/N slowly looked up to see Soo-Young’s pleading face. Y/N looked away and nodded her head, “I’ll try.” 

Namjoon was at the picnic table in the sitting area with his friends outside. It was one of those rare days where everyone had their classes canceled. It felt like high school all over again for Namjoon. He was listening to Lin talking about what her mother said about Taehyung’s future when Bora came rushing in with an excited grin, “I have news.” Jungkook moved and Bora sat next to him. His arm naturally wrapped around her shoulders as she looked at her friends with excitement, “We’re going to the Cosmic Hall this Friday!”

Lin raised her eyebrow and tilted her head, “Cosmic Hall?”

Bora nodded her head and turned towards Lin, “Every year they have a competition for violinists. Last year, my dad won tickets and I heard the most beautiful song. She of course won the whole thing but I wasn’t shocked, she was.”

Jimin raised his eyebrow at this, “Who was?”

“L/N Y/N.” 

Namjoon almost dropped his water bottle at this. He turned towards Bora with wide eyes, “Y/N still plays the violin?” 

“Yeah...well I assume so. She’s playing this Friday, do you know her?” 

“O-Oh, I’ve heard of her.” Of course, I know who she is. 

Jungkook looked at Bora and pushed some hair away from her forehead, “Of course we’ll go. It’s peaceful.”

Taehyung scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, “Like you would know what peace is.”

“For your information I do.” 

Namjoon zoned out and remembered what his sister told him, “Y/N stopped playing out of nowhere. Everyone was shocked. I don’t know why though. I hope everything is okay with her.” This happened three years ago and he wondered why she stopped playing in competitions. He could only hear her play when he was walking past the music room after school. It was his favorite routine to do. Hearing her play was like a painting coming to life. It was magical. 

“Namjoon, did you hear me?”

He quickly shook his head and looked at Bora with a sheepish smile, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I asked if you were coming with us? I know you have that meeting-”

“I’m going.” 

Y/N continued to write on her music sheet as Soo-Young laid down on the piano and played on her phone, “Irene, is picking us up today.”

Y/N set her pen down and she smiled at this, “Oh? That’s exciting.”

Soo-Young sat up and gave Y/N that look that made her nervous, “She’s taking us to eat at this restaurant. It’s owned by Seokjin’s family.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened at this and turned her body towards Soo-Young, “That place is so expensive. Shouldn’t we go-”

“Y/N, don’t you remember we’re rich? It’s fine.” 

Y/N shook her head at this, “It doesn’t matter. Money is money. Being responsible is good regardless of status.” 

“Y/N, let’s go have fun. It will be good for you.” 

She glanced down at her notebook and then back at Soo-Young, “Okay...I’ll tell-”

“I already told your parents. They said it will be good for you.” 

Y/N shook her head with a small laugh escaping her lips and glanced at the window, “I suppose. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

“Okay, be safe.” 

The scene was déjà vu for her. Her shoes barely make a sound, it would make a mouse confused. She glanced down at her envelope and smiled to herself when she remembered her words, I saw the way you smile and it would make the sun jealous. The way your eyes sparkle are like the stars dancing around the moon. Your whole being is my universe. Even though I will never be able to say it to your face. Please forgive me but I do mean it. Your whole being is my universe. 

She went to open the door but stopped when she heard footsteps. She quickly hid behind the lockers and watched Namjoon listening to his music. Her eyes widened but she didn’t make a sound, this was going to make her sick with anxiety. He opened the door and closed it behind him. She let out a breath that she was holding in and glanced down at her envelope. 

She bit her lip and she was debating on what to do. She could run away with the letter and just give it to him next week or she could slip it under the door. If she slipped it under the door, she would have to be quick. She wants to give him this letter but is it worth getting caught? Perhaps. She took a deep breath and in a flash she slid the pink envelope under the door. She did it so fast that she didn’t process that she was running away. She continued to run until the music door was in front of her. She regained her composure and wiped her sweaty hands against her jeans. She opened the door and her anxiousness was dissolved when she saw Irene talking to Soo-Young, “Irene.” 

Irene turned towards the door and smiled, “Y/N-inee” 

Y/N made her way and hugged Irene who happily returned the hug. Irene was like the sister that Y/N never had. Being the only child, she never had the chance to have an older sibling. Soo-Young was her cousin but she saw her as her best friend/partner for life. 

Soo-Young scoffed at this and crossed her arms over her chest, “Why don’t you act like that with me, unnie?” 

“Y/N is my daughter, you are not.” 

The restaurant was something out of the movies. It was so spacious and beautiful. There were people playing the harp with the many paintings dancing to the soft melody. It was beautiful. She now understood why this place had a five-star review online. They sat down at a table and she listened to the harp and she couldn’t help but think of Namjoon. 

The day was normal, Y/N was going to go to the library and study for her Biology test. Nothing more. Nothing less. She turned the corner and her eyes widened when saw Namjoon leaning against a bookshelf reading a book. She quickly hid behind the tall shelf and peeked around the corner to see his tan skin getting highlighted by the terrible library light. Somehow, he even looked good under them. His black hair gently touching his forehead and his earrings that made him even more attractive to her. 

If she had Soo-Young’s personality, she could talk to him. But she isn’t her cousin. She looked away and leaned against the shelf with a frown. Namjoon would never like a girl like her. He needed someone who was sexy and confident. Everything she was not. She walked away and stared down at her shoes, she would never be with Namjoon. 

“Y/N, are you okay”

She shook her head and gave Irene a fake smile, “I am.” I’m not but...what choice do I have? 

The night went normally, Soo-Young and Irene argued about random things as Y/N laughed. She took a sip of her water and she looked around the room to see Namjoon having dinner with what looked like a girl. Her eyes widened and she saw how his eyes softened when the girl was talking. She swallowed her spit and glanced down at her plate with a frown. She knew this would happen but why did it have to happen in front of her? 

Y/N glanced at herself in the mirror of the dressing room. Today was the day of the competition. She was so nervous to the point that her stomach was attacking itself. She clenched the vanity under her as she tried to regain her breathing. She closed her eyes and tried to picture something happy but all she could see was Namjoon with the girl from a couple of nights ago. She shook her head and glanced down to look at the black fabric. She was dressed in a lace tea-length dress. Her mother was so excited about her competition that she had the dress custom-made for her. 

The door opened and she turned her head to see her mother who had a soft smile. Y/N returned it and her mother placed the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, “I know that look, flower.” 

Y/N sighed and turned towards her, “What happens if I mess up?” 

“Then you mess up. As long as you get your piece played that's all I care about. Mistakes and all.” 

Y/N glanced down at the flowers and smiled, “Thank you.”

Her mother smiled and walked towards her. She placed a kiss on the top of her head and pushed some hair back, “Amaryllis, your favorite.” 

“I just want to do good...I want to prove...”

Y/N’s mother brought her into a tight hug as she rubbed her back gently, “I will always be here for you. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, only to yourself. I love you, good luck.” 

Namjoon sat next to Jin as he listened to the violinist. It was nothing to compare to Y/N. Y/N playing brought color to black and white while this person was simply following notes on the page. Like a robot. Namjoon looked down at his pamphlet and smiled when he saw Y/N’s name. 

When he saw her at her father’s party he was so happy to finally meet her. It wasn’t the first time they met.

Cosmic Hall was silent and Namjoon sat next to his sister. Today, his little sister wanted to see the talented violinist. He heard she was a L/N. They were at the top of the technology business and they only had a daughter. There were rumors that they tried to have a son but it almost resulted in death. Resulting Y/N to be an only child. Y/N was the diamond of the family. Everyone looked at her as a picture-perfect heiress. She was ranked in the top ten and she was ranked number three in Korea for his violin skills. What more could you want from a daughter? 

Namjoon didn’t care about violinists. He was only here for his sister. Taehyung would’ve loved being here. He loved classical music and the fine arts in life. Although Namjoon liked classical music, violins never stood out to him. 

The music became dark and his focus was on the main stage. A girl appeared and his eyes widened, she was dressed in a lilac dress that showed off her shoulders perfectly. She had a diamond necklace that could bring light in the darkness. She looked like a painting came to life and Namjoon couldn’t look away from her. She was so elegant in the way she moved that it looked like she was floating. That didn’t go away when she started playing. It was as if he saw the notes coming towards him in pastel colors. Each note told him a story that only he knew. It brought peace. He felt stupid about how he never cared for violins. 

When he saw Y/N at the party, he acted like he didn’t know her. It was obvious that the girl was shy and he didn’t want to scare her away. Even in person, she brought a sense of peace. She was elegant but somehow clumsy. When she ran away from him, he couldn’t help but laugh at how she looked. Not in a mean way but in an enduring way. There were whispers around the campus about the heir to the L/N business. Some said she was cold and never made eye contact with anyone because of how egotistical she was. In reality, Namjoon knew the truth. She was a white daisy in a garden of thorns. 

The audience got quiet and Namjoon sat up straighter to see the stage better. She walked out and his eyes couldn’t leave her figure. She bowed at the audience but there was something different with her tonight. There was something sad about her expression. She sat down and the speaker read her description, “This song was made by Y/N herself. The song describes an unrequited love. The piece is melancholy but it has a small glimpse of hope. A very moving piece that describes her real life.” 

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at this and frowned, “Unrequited love...” 

Y/N took a deep breath and started playing. With each note she made, she saw Namjoon. The way he smiled at her that day and the way he noticed her when no one did. Then the sadness came through when she saw him with a girl at the restaurant. The piece describes perfectly how she felt. In love with someone who will never see her. 

“The winner of the Cosmic Hall Competition is...L/N Y/N!” 

Namjoon was the first person to stand up and he started clapping. Jin looked up at her with a confused look but stood up and started to clap as well. Y/N bowed to everyone and accepted the award. Y/N smiled at the audience but her eyes landed on her parents who looked at her with proud eyes. She felt happy to know she made them proud. It was a feeling she wasn’t used to. 

She walked backstage thinking she would meet with her parents but her eyes widened when she saw Bora. Bora walked up to her and handed her some roses, “You did an amazing job. I loved every minute of it.”

Her eyes glanced over Bora’s shoulder and saw Jungkook who was giving her a wide smile. She looked back at Bora and bowed, “Thank you. You didn’t have to give me any flowers.” 

“Nonsense, you deserve more flowers for your performance.” 

Y/N happily grabbed the roses and bowed at her again, “Thank you.”

“I thought you said you didn’t play at a professional level.” 

Y/N stood there for a moment before moving past Bora. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who had his glasses on and a dress shirt. He looked like he had a business meeting with how sharp he looked. Y/N stared into his eyes as he returned the stare. Normally she would look away from intense eyes but she didn’t want to at this moment, “You remember that?”

“Of course, I remember.” 

She looked down at her shoes and then back at him, “I-I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” 

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No-No, I...I was just shocked to see you.”

Just then a girl came and hugged his waist. Her eyes widened and glanced at her arm. Namjoon smiled and ruffled her hair, “My sister wanted to see you. She begged me to take you.” 

Y/N glanced at Namjoon and nodded her head. That's why he came...for his sister. “I’m glad you like it.”

Namjoon’s sister smiled and nodded her head, “I took him to Jin-oppa's restaurant to get him to say yes.” 

Namjoon rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm over her shoulder, “I could never say no to good food.”

“Oh, was that this week?” Please say yes...

“Yeah, it was on Tuesday. Why?”

Y/N shook her head and felt relieved at the answer, “Curious. I apologize, I have to go. My parents are waiting for me.”

Namjoon nodded his head and did something that shocked her. He leaned forward and pushed some hair off her forehead, “You played wonderful tonight. Thank you for playing.” 

“Th-Thank you...bye.”

She quickly left with a strong grip on the roses as her face was blazing. Why did he have to look at her like that? 

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Namjoon, the class president, has been reviving love letters. I saw it right before my eyes. Though, I didn’t see who it was. I do know whoever it is, they can run fast. Who wouldn’t have a crush on Namjoon? He’s sensible and intelligent. Anyone would fall for him. I noticed she delivers her letters every Friday when classes are over. It's obvious she knows Namjoon’s schedule because she only does it when he’s gone. I am curious to see who it is. Until then, Pen. 

Y/N felt the world around was crashing. She knew she shouldn’t slide the letter under his door. Whoever this person is, they're writing about her now. It’s not a good feeling. She walked into the lunch room to see Jessica fighting a girl. 

“Are you the one giving Namjoon letters?” 

“I-I’m not! I swear!” 

Y/N eye’s widened and she quickly left. She clenched her shirt in panic and felt sick. She’s been giving him letters for years and never got caught. How could she get caught now? Now everyone is going to want to know who the mysterious person is. Especially Jessica. She started to run and she didn’t even know where she was running to but anywhere was better than here. She stopped and looked around her. She ran straight to the university park, a quiet place for her running thoughts. She sat on the bench and started crying. She didn’t want this to be known to the public or even Namjoon. Though he didn’t know it was her specifically it still made her want to die from embarrassment. 

“Y/N?”

She looked up to see Bora and Lin giving her a concerned look, “Are you alright?” 

She quickly wiped at her face and gave them a smile, “I’m not the best...I’m sorry. I’ll move,” 

She went to get up but was stopped by Lin, “Please stay. No one should cry alone.” 

Y/N listened and stared at the grass as a tear went down her face, “I feel embarrassed...”

Bora and Lin glanced at each other and nodded their heads. They sat on the sides of Y/N as Lin wrapped her arm around the girl, “Y/N, do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t...I-I should go.”

Bora rubbed her shoulders and gave her a gentle smile, “You can just cry with us. We won’t ask any questions. Just cry.” 

Cry is what she did. She never felt so embarrassed but she couldn’t tell the world why she was. They wouldn’t believe her in the first place and she would get pinned down by Jessica. It would be a waste to speak about it but she could express it. The only way she could do it was to cry. She cried on Lin’s shoulder as she stared at the grass that was waving back and forth. Her secret is out even though no one knows it is hers. 

Namjoon looked at the folder and sighed. He kept all the letters in binders by his desk. He tries his best to reread them when he has time. It brought joy to his heart. They weren’t like other confessions he had received. This was different. The letters had affection that he had never received from another person. Whoever was writing these letters knew how to write from their heart.  

“What are you going to do?”

Namjoon looked away from the pink envelopes and saw Yoongi’s concerned face, “What do you think I should do?”

“Catch the person.”

Namjoon let out a laugh and closed the binder. He got up from his chair and walked towards the window, “They are not a criminal.” 

“I know you're curious about who they are.” 

Namjoon sighed and nodded his head, “Who wouldn’t be curious? The letters are beautiful. I kept each letter because the wording was moving. I never had a reason to look for the person but now I want to look for them.” 

“Is it because you wish it was Y/N.”

Namjoon stiffened at this and turned towards Yoongi, “Why do you ask?” 

Yoongi smirked and shrugged his shoulders, “No reason.” 

Y/N finally calmed down and continued to stare at the grass, “I’m sorry...”

Bora shook her head and pushed some of her hair away from her face, “Don’t be sorry. We all need to cry.” 

Y/N nodded her head at this and looked down at her fingers, “I appreciate the comfort.” 

Lin smiled at this and nodded her head, “I’m glad we could comfort you.”

Bora nodded her head and looked at Lin, “I was actually going to ask...if we could be friends.” 

Y/N turned towards Bora with wide eyes and pointed to herself, “Me?”

Bora let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “If you let me.” 

Lin smiled and pointed to herself too, “I want to be friends with you too.” 

Y/N looked at Lin and frowned, “Why?” 

“Ever since I saw you play last year...I wanted to be your friend. I saw you around but every time I wanted to talk to you, you would walk away. Did you realize how fast you walk?” 

Y/N looked down at the grass and frowned, “I-I’m sorry.” 

“Stop saying sorry. The time wasn’t right then but now it is.” 

“I suppose we can be friends...I-I’ll think about it...I just don’t know how to interact with people.”

Bora nodded her head at this, “That’s alright. Take your time.”

Y/N stood up and bowed at them before leaving. Her heart was beating fast and she didn’t know what she did to make them see her. Why is it so hard to be hidden away? It makes life easier to be hidden away. She entered the music room and saw Soo-Young who was giving her a worried look, “I was looking for you, Y/N.”

“I-I’m sorry-”

Soo-Young brought her into a hug and Y/N nuzzled her head into her chest. Soo-Young rubbed the back of her head as Y/N cried. Soo-Young kissed the top of her head and frowned, “I know about the letters.” 

Y/N pushed Soo-Young and gave her a shocked face, “H-How did you know?” 

“I was worried about you. You were taking longer than usual so, I walked down the halls to see you with the pink envelope. I wasn’t sure what you were doing but you looked flustered. One can put it together.” 

Y/N frowned and looked down at her shoes, “Now, he knows...”

“He doesn’t know it's you.” 

Y/N shook her head, “It doesn’t matter he still knows someone has been giving him letters...like a stalker.” 

“You're not a stalker. Just a person with a crush.”

“Some would say they're the same.” 

Soo-Young shook her head and rubbed her shoulder gently, “Do you love him?”

“I-I-”

“Do you?”

Y/N looked outside the window and then back at Soo-Young, “I do...” 

“Let’s make it known that it's you.”

Y/N sat in the library as the day got darker. She told her parents she would be late and wanted time to herself. They understood but that didn’t mean they weren’t worried. She looked down at the empty page and let out a loud sigh. She couldn’t focus on anything and it just made life harder. Why does the mind like to play these games? It’s frustrating. 

She closed her notebook and stared down at the desk with empty eyes. She wondered how Namjoon reacted to the news. He’s probably sick of getting confessions. She heard the chair in front of her move and she looked up. There staring back at her was Jessica with a smirk, “I need you to do something for me, mouse.” 

“I-I-”

“I know you won the poetry competition last year. I need you to write a letter for me so I can give it to Namjoon.” 

“What?”

Jessica rolled her eyes and tapped her nail against the dark wood, “If you write this letter for me, I’ll stop messing with you.” Y/N shook her head and tried to gather her things but Jessica grabbed her wrist, “I wouldn’t do that.” 

“I-I can’t do it.” 

Jessica brought her nails into her wrist and Y/N bit her lip to keep her quiet, “You’ll do it, mouse.” 

Y/N glanced down at her wrist to see blood trickling down and nodded her head, “I-I’ll do it.” 

Jessica smirked at this and let go of her wrist. She looked at her nails and then back at Y/N, “I want a letter by tomorrow morning.” 

Y/N didn’t say anything but she watched Jessica leave the library with a hop in her step. Y/N glanced at her wrist and saw the blood coming down. She looked up at the ceiling and frowned, Why couldn’t she be the frame? She gathered her things and made her way out of the campus. Everything felt like a blur until she got to her car. She pushed her hair and opened the door but closed it when she heard her name. She turned around and saw the familiar brown eyes. 

Namjoon smiled at her as he set his things on his bike, “Fancy meeting you here.” 

Y/N nodded her head, “It is.” 

Namjoon glanced at her wrist and saw that she was rubbing it. He walked away from his bike and towards her, “Is everything okay?”

“It-It’s fine.” 

Namjoon gently took her hand and turned it to see the cuts. He glanced up at her with worry and anger in his eyes, “What happened?” 

“I hurt myself.”

“Y/N, I am not stupid. Don’t treat me like I am. Someone did this to you.”

Y/N looked away and shook her head, “I can’t tell you.” Namjoon sighed and intertwined their fingers together. She glanced at their hands and then at him, “What are you doing?”

“Taking you to the nurse. I can’t let you walk around with an injury. It would hurt me to know that you were hurt and I did nothing for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and they walked towards the medical building. Y/N glanced at their hands and she watched his thumb gently rubbing her knuckles. She felt her heart speed up at the feeling but she tried to ignore it. He opened the door and everything went a blur. She sat on the bed and waited for him. He came back with a bandage and smiled, “Let me patch that up for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and brought her hand up towards him. He took the bandage out of the package and placed it on her wrist. She watched him and then she looked away when he smiled at her, “Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything but Y/N just know...I’ll protect you.” 

Her eyes widened at this and turned her head to look at him, “Pr-Protect?” 

He nodded his head, “I care for you. Let me walk you back to your car.” 

Y/N nodded her head and Namjoon put his hand out for her. She glanced down at his hand and then back at him with a confused look, “What?”

“I want to hold your hand. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay for you? Do you want to hold my hand? I don’t want you to feel-”

Namjoon intertwined their fingers together and walked out of the nurse's office. The halls were empty and she was glad that no one would see her. It would make her feel embarrassed. Today was a wild day for her and she didn’t need anything more to make it crazier but here she is. Holding hands with Namjoon. The person who she’s been in love with. 

Namjoon smiled at her and glanced at his bike and then at her, “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” 

Y/N pointed to herself and gave him a shocked face, “Me?”

“Yeah, I never have the chance to talk to you. This is the perfect time.” 

Y/N glanced down at her wrist and then back at him, “O-Okay...” 

Namjoon sat on his bicycle and turned towards her, “Are you going to be okay? You have to hold on to me.”

Y/N slowly nodded her head and looked at her fingers, “Is it okay?”

“Yes, Y/N.” She sat on his bike and put on the extra helmet he had. She glanced at his back and took a deep breath. She wrapped his arms around his waist and hid her face in his back. Namjoon glanced at her and smiled, “Are you ready?”

“Yes...” 

The ride was peaceful and Y/N gripped his waist tighter when a turn would happen. Her heart was beating so fast but unknown to her, his heart was doing the same thing. He stopped the bike and she looked up to see a small cafe. She tilted her head at him, “Sunflower?” 

Namjoon smiled and nodded his head, “My mom recently bought it. I thought it would be the perfect place to take you.”

They walked in and she looked around with a curious look. The cafe was nice and small. It was clear it was new. Namjoon took her in the back and they sat in the hidden space. She was surrounded by flowers and she looked at Namjoon, “What is this?”

“It's a hidden place. I asked my mom to create me one so I can hide from the customers.”

Y/N nodded her head and touched the white daisy with her fingertips, “It’s pretty.”

Namjoon smiled at this and pulled out a chair for her, “Please sit. I’ll get us some croissants.”

Y/N nodded her head and sat in the chair as she watched him leave. She looked around the place with a warm face. How did she get here? She was sitting with her crush in a beautiful garden. This couldn’t be real. She glanced down at her wrist and then back at the daisies. It didn’t feel real.

“I got you a bottle of water too.”

She looked over her shoulder and saw Namjoon wearing that smile she came to love. She nodded her head at this, “Thank you.” 

He sat down and took a bite of his croissant, “I was so happy to hear you play at Cosmic Hall.”

She nibbled at the croissant and her eyes became wide, “Really?”

“I was. I enjoy you playing. My sister told me that you stopped playing for a while...may I ask why?” 

Y/N glanced down at her croissant and then back at him, “I...I just wanted a break.”

Namjoon nodded his head and took a sip of his water, “Everyone deserves a break. You did tell me you have been playing since you were six years old.”

She felt shocked that he remembered that and he laughed at her expression, “You remember that?”

“I told you that I remember what you said to me.” 

She felt her heart flutter at this and took a bite of her pastry, “Thank you...I took a break because I mentally needed it. I went to Japan...it was nice” 

“Everyone deserves a break. I’m sorry you felt like that.” 

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and looked at the daisies, “I’m sorry...I’m not the best at conversations.” 

“That’s okay. I like to talk so we make a good pair.”

Y/N eyes widened at this and turned towards him, “A good pair?” 

“Yeah.” 

The rest of the night was them talking to each other and she realized how easy it was to talk to him. He truly was a sun that brought warmth and comfort. As they talked, she knew what she had to do with Jessica. She was going to listen to Soo-Young and go against Jessica. She’ll take the abuse from her as long as she does what her heart wants her to do.  

Namjoon rode his bike back to her car on the school campus and smiled at her, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

She nodded her head at this and waved goodbye. She got into her car and was confused when she saw him waiting by her car. She rolled down her window and looked at Namjoon, “Aren’t you going?” 

“I wanted to wait for you to get in the car.” 

Y/N smiled to herself and nodded her head, “Thank you for tonight. I had fun.”

“Let’s do it again.” 

Y/N rapidly nodded her head and gave him a wide smile, “Yes, let’s do it again.” 

That night's drive was peaceful. She knew what she needed to do and she was going to do it. No matter what happens. Even if her mind tells her no, she’s going to do it. Everyone deserves to be spontaneous once in their lives. 

Y/N didn’t know how she did it but she did it. She avoided Jessica all morning and went straight to the music room. She began to practice her piece and she watched Soo-Young smile at the melody, “It’s beautiful. You can feel the love.”

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “Do you think he will like it?”

“He would be an idiot if he didn’t.” 

Y/N smiled and gathered her things, “I guess it's time. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck Y/N. No matter what happens I’ll be here for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and for once she felt the confidence going through her bloodstream, “Okay.” 

Y/N walked towards the student council and right before she opened the door, she felt her hair get pulled back. She let out a loud yelp and she fell to the ground. She looked up to see Jessica glaring at her. Jessica leaned down with a glare that could set fires in the forest, “Mouse, remember what I said. Girls get it.” 

Just then two girls came out of nowhere and grabbed her violin case. Y/N looked at her violin and then back at Jessica, “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late to say sorry, mouse. I bet you were going to confess. Newsflash, Namjoon will never be an idiot like you. A mouse with no squeak.” 

Y/N glanced down at the ground and shook her head, “Yo-Your wrong.” 

Jessica pulled her hair harder and Y/N felt tears forming, “Don’t talk back Mouse. Nina, you know what to do.” 

Y/N turned towards Nina and watched her take out her violin, “Please don’t. I’ll write your letter.”

“Nope, you had your chance.” 

Just then Nina smashed Y/N’s violin and she sat there with a shocked expression. The violin that she came to love was now in pieces. Y/N was so shocked that everything around her became silent. She didn’t even realize Soo-Young came and pushed Jessica away. Nor did she realize that Bora and Lin pushed her goons away.

Her world felt like it was crushing down. The one thing she loved most in this world was destroyed. All this to show that she loved someone. Maybe Jessica was right. Namjoon wouldn’t love her. This felt like the universe was telling her to walk away before more bad things happened. 

Y/N slowly stood up and walked towards her broken violin. The broken instrument gave her confidence and now she has nothing. She let out a tear and shook her head. She ran away, “Y/N WAIT!” 

Y/N ignored the voices and ran. She ran towards the girl's bathroom and locked the door behind her. Maybe she was meant to be alone, all she does is make things more complicated. Life is already complicated, why would she make it more complicated? Love isn’t made for her. The universe made that very clear today. There was a soft knock at the door but she didn’t budge from her position on the floor. 

“Y/N...please.” 

She ignored the pleas and after a while it became quiet. She sat on the tile floor as the coldness of the bathroom comforted her. She deserves this treatment. She tried changing and the universe didn’t like that. Obviously, she deserved the punishment. 

“As student body president and Chairman, Jessica deserves to be expelled.” 

The chairmen glanced at Jessica and then at Namjoon, “Go on.”

Namjoon glared at Jessica and looked back, “Without the help of my friends, Jessica would’ve continued to bully L/N Y/N.”

The chairman's eyes widened at this and stood up. He slammed his fist on the table and pointed at Jessica, “You dare to mess with the L/N family?” 

“I-I”

“NO EXCUSES! JESSICA LEE, YOU ARE EXPELLED!” 

Namjoon smirked at this and bowed to the chairman, “I would love to stay but I have important business to attend to.” 

Namjoon didn’t wait for an answer, he ran out of the room with Bora smiling at him. Namjoon ran like his life depended on it. He hoped that Y/N was still in the bathroom. He couldn’t miss his chance. He stopped at the bathroom and was breathing heavily. He knocked on the door with fear, “Y/N, it’s me. Please open the door.” 

He looked at the ceiling and prayed that she was still there. If she wasn’t there then he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. The door opened and he turned towards the door but his expression dropped. 

“President?”

Namjoon bowed to her and apologized. He quickly left and went towards the second place he knew she would be. He opened the music room and he saw Y/N crying. He quickly closed the door and made his way towards her, “Y/N…”

Y/N looked up and she saw Namjoon's concerned eyes. Y/N tried to look away but Namjoon wouldn’t allow her. He gently put his fingers under her chin and turned her head, “Please don’t look away from me.”

“Namjoon…”

“Please don’t push me away. I just got you, I can’t lose you.” 

Y/N frowned at this, “Wh-What do you mean?”

“Y/N, can’t you see it? I love you. I love how you show your feelings through music and writing. You bring peace to my world, especially on days that feel like it’s erupting from chaos. I liked you the moment I heard you play. You are my sweet melody that brings paintings alive, my favorite melody. Please, please don’t push me away. I can’t bear this distance anymore.” 

Y/N stared at him and saw the truth in his eyes, “Writing?”

“Yes, I know about the letters. I knew it was you.”

“How?”

Namjoon let out a small laugh, “I had a class with you. I saw the way you wrote and well…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Namjoon frowned, “I’m an insecure man. How could you love me? A man who couldn’t even comprehend a simple melody before I met you. I’m the heir to my fathers business but other than that, I have nothing more.”

Y/N shook her head and placed her hand against his cheek, “You are much more than that.”

“I want to hear you say it. I’ve read the letters but I want to hear your voice.”

Y/N took a deep breath and closed her eyes, “I don’t deserve a well composed man to love me. I can’t help feeling affection towards you especially when you're the only person to notice me. I…I love you. Whenever you talk about your speeches, I’m always listening. Your words move me like no other… I don’t know how to love nor am I good with my words…please be patient with me..give me a chance. I thought it was a mistake to fall for you. I felt like the universe was telling me I wasn’t worth loving someone. It felt like everyone was against me because I wanted change. I’m still so scared..what if the universe doesn’t want this for me?”

“Fuck the universe. Y/N just listen to your heart. I’ll help you with your anxiety and insecurities. Take a chance on me, take a chance on us.”

Y/N opened her eyes and saw how close he was and nodded her head, “I’ll take the chance.”

She didn’t realize how close he was to her. The air was thick and the desperation she saw in his eyes was a mirror of her own. She could feel the heat radiating from his body and it made her want more, “Y/N...do you have a boyfriend?”

Y/N shook her head and glanced at his lips, “I don’t.”

“Do I have permission to kiss you?”

Y/N smiled at this and put her forehead against his, “You do.” 

He leaned in closer and looked her into the eye once more before pressing his lips against his. She grabbed the front of his shirt and her fingertips became one with the soft fabric. One of his hands found its way behind her neck and brought her closer. The sound of kisses filled the room and she pushed away to gain her breath, “Joon...”  

He hums and his dark brown eyes told her everything she needed. He picked her up and sat her on the piano. She gently touched his face and gave him a gentle smile, “Serenity...” 

“I’ll give you that as long as you allow me. I am yours.” 

“I-I am yours as well.” 

He started to unbutton his shirt and she watched with nervous eyes. The more skin that started to show, the more real this became. She pushed his shirt off of his shoulder and her hands brushed against his bare chest. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on the center of his chest. His hands reached out to cup her cheeks and pulled her face towards his, kissing her deeply. 

After a moment he pulled back and slowly pushed her down on the piano. She gave him a small smile and a node. He pulled her shirt and leaned down to kiss her bare stomach as her fingers brushed through his hair. He moved back up and pulled her into a deep kiss. She slid her hands from his neck to his biceps. His hands tickled her bare skin. He cupped her face, running his thumb slowly over her cheek. They pulled away and she intertwined their fingers and she placed a kiss on his knuckles. 

He smiled at her and moved his lips back to hers as their tongues twirled around each other. After a moment of kissing, his fingers went behind her back and unclasped the material. He trailed his fingers down her arms as he pulled down the straps. He watched the goosebumps appear and he couldn’t help but feel proud. He gently dropped the fabric and took in what he was saying. He smiled and looked up to her, “You're so beautiful.” 

“Joon...”

“Is this okay?”

“Anything with you is okay...I trust you.” 

He eagerly leaned down to take one of her nubs into his mouth. She covered her face and let out a small moan. He sucked on her nipple while gently rolling her other nub between his finger and thumb. He felt her hands brushing through his hair but that quickly turned into tugging it. He slowly let his tongue slide over her stomach again and reached her skirt. He pulled down the pink skirt with her underwear. He leaned up and there before him was the women of his dreams. He pulled down his jeans and leaned forward kissing her chest, “Are you ready?” 

“Always.” 

He scooted a bit closer to her and placed his hands on her waist. He let his nose rub over her bare shoulder and placed a quick kiss. He slowly sank himself into her wet entrance and the both moaned, “Okay?”

“I’m okay.” She breathed as she closed her eyes at the feel of him. He started to move and Y/N couldn’t help but moan when she felt him slide in and out at a steady pace. She brought his face to hers and brought him into a passionate kiss. He placed two fingers over her clit and started to rub making her push back against him in pleasure. 

“Fuck, Y/N.”

He started to quicken his pace and she closed her eyes at the pleasure she was feeling, “Don’t stop...” She moaned as his fingers dug a little deeper in her skin as he pushed himself into her, over and over again. 

“You’re mine.”

She leaned up with her elbows and kissed his neck, “Yours. I’m going to-”

She felt her orgasm hitting her and Namjoon felt her walls clenched. The feeling was too much and he couldn't help himself. They both let out a loud moan and he fell forward with his head near her breast. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. He looked at her and smiled, “Don’t push me away.”

“I won’t...” 

He pushed some hair away from her sweaty forehead and frowned, “I’m sorry about your violin.” 

She let out a sad sigh, “I’m sure I can find another.”

“I hope so...I would love to hear you play.”

“You already heard me play...”

He kissed her collarbone and then her neck, “A private concert.” 

“I would love to do that...we should get dressed.”

Namjoon nodded his head and helped her get dressed. When they were fully dressed, he brought her into a passionate kiss, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Namjoon.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･

“Did you hear about Y/N?”

“I did...she’s with the Kim's son.”

“Interesting matchup.” 

Today was Y/N’s father's ball for his business and she was dressed in something that was different for her. She was in a strapless tulle ballerina dress with a diamond necklace that Namjoon gifted her. She walked into the room with her heels clicking away. Soo-Young made her way to her and smiled. She pushed some hair off of her shoulder and smiled, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Soo-Young. You look beautiful as well. Green has always been your color.”

Soo-Young smiled and looked away with a smile, “He’s looking for you.”

“I kind of figured. He sent me a text saying he was dying to see him. Men are always the dramatic ones.” 

“Tell me about it. He kept saying he couldn’t wait one more minute for you. At least you know he's completely devoted to you.” 

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “I suppose...I’m going to find him.”

Y/N walked around the ball and bowed at random people. Her eyes landed on Bora and she smiled. She quickly made her way and bowed, “Hello.” 

Bora and Lin turned around to give her a smile, “We were just talking about you.”

“Oh?...”

Lin smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Good things. I wanted to see your dress.”

Y/N glanced down and then back at Lin, “Is it too much? My mother got it made and she wanted it-”

“Y/N you look beautiful.”

She looked to see Taehyung giving her a gentle smile and she nodded her head, “Thank you Taehyung.” 

“I told you to call me Tae.”

Jungkook scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, “She doesn’t even call me Kook, what makes you think she’ll call you Tae?” 

“I’m better looking, that’s why.” 

Bora rolled her eyes and turned towards Y/N, “Namjoon is with your parents.” 

She nodded her head and bowed again, “I’ll see you guys later.” 

Y/N quickly made her way to her parents and there he was in his black suit. Namjoon was talking to her father about something and she couldn’t help but smile at the closeness they created in a short time. Y/N slowly made her way towards them and Namjoon glanced over her father’s shoulder and smiled. He quickly excused himself and went towards him.

He picked up her hand and his finger gently traced her jaw. His eyes had sparkles in them as he looked at her, “You look beautiful.”

“I like your suit...”

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I’m grateful for your mother’s taste in fashion.” 

She let out a small laugh and gently hit his chest, “Sorry, I kept you waiting.”

“It’s alright. I was dying to meet you. Being away from you can make the strongest cry.”

She smiled and glanced at the dancefloor, “Would you like to dance?”

“It’s my job to ask that. Y/N will you like to dance with me?”

“I would love to.”

They moved through the people until they were in the center. She smiled at him and he returned it. He wrapped his arm around her waist and they started to sway with the music. Y/N’s parents watched with pure happiness. Her mother leaned towards her father to whisper in his ear, “She looks so happy.”

Her father nodded his head and looked at them dancing, “I knew this day would come.”

“What day?”

“That I would lose my baby girl.”

“Honey, she’s not getting married. Stop being ridiculous.” 

Y/N and Namjoon became a couple after their moment in the music room. He took her to Sunflower and had a proper date. The campus was shocked that Kim Namjoon was with L/N Y/N. The fact that the class president was with the famous timid violinist made its round around campus. At first this bothered Y/N and she felt like she was bringing his image down but Namjoon told her otherwise. 

Y/N also became friends with Bora and Lin. They shared so many similarities, something that shocked her. They were very different in personality but she blended in perfectly fine. Lin’s mother gave her a fortune and everything seems like it is only going to get better. She even met Seungkwan and they became somewhat close. It’s amazing what a short matter of time can change.

Jessica was expelled and no one was shocked. There was finally peace at school but Y/N still had a feeling that there were more bullies hidden away. Waiting to come forward. There was one hidden enemy that she wanted to know who it was, Pen. Whoever Pen was, she was always close and always watching. Especially towards the legendary seven. She told Namjoon that it had to be someone close to them but he couldn’t think of anyone. They dropped the subject but she couldn’t stop thinking about this mysterious person that knows everything. It wasn’t a good feeling to know. 

Namjoon twirled Y/N and they placed their foreheads together, “Come to the garden with me.” 

“Of course.”

They walked out and went towards the place where Y/N first met Namjoon. He led her towards the garden that had purple roses and she couldn’t help but laugh. He plucked one and handed it towards her, “I have a surprise.” 

“Is it the rose? I love it.”

Namjoon laughed and shook his head, “It’s not the rose but if you like it then it's part of the surprise. Close your eyes.”

Y/N nodded her head and closed her eyes. Namjoon smiled and went behind the bench to bring out his surprise. He made his way towards her and let out a small cough, “Open your eyes.”

She opened them and her eyes widened, “Namjoon...”

“Open it.”

She opened the black case and her mouth dropped. The violin before her was covered in a daisy design; it was a beautiful piece of art. She gently took the violin out of the case and she couldn’t help but a smile, “I-”

“I wanted to get you a new one. This one is special. Turn it.” 

She turned the violin and she wanted to cry. It had their initials carved into the wood and her fingers gently touched it. She let out a small laugh and looked at him with pure love, “I love it.”

“I’m glad you do. Can I get that private concert?” 

She let out a laugh and nodded her head. He sat on the bench and she gave him one final smile before she started playing. This song felt like it belonged to a Jane Austen novel. It made you feel like you were in a love story and you can picture everything. He closed his eyes and started swaying back and forth. The music notes were clearer now and bursts of pastel colors erupted with each note. When she finished, he opened his eyes and clapped his hands, “That was amazing.”

“Thank you.”

He stood up and kissed the top of her head, “That was a new piece. Does it have a name?”

“It does.” 

He pushed some hair behind her ear and smiled, “What’s it called?”

“I called it Unread.” 

Namjoon let out a laugh, “Is it based on true events?”

“Somewhat...we should go back before my parents start looking for us.” 

Namjoon nodded his head but he wrapped his arms around her waist, “Let’s stay like this for a few minutes. Just you and me.” 

She let out a small laugh, “Let me put my violin away and then we can dance in the flowers.” 

Behind the hedges and hidden figure watched and wrote something in her notebook. She quickly hid the notebook in her jacket. She started to walk away but stepped on a branch causing Namjoon to look up, “Who's there?” 

The girl cursed under her breath and ran as fast as she could before they could see her. Y/N and Namjoon made their way towards the hedges and looked at each other, “What was that?”

Namjoon glanced down at the grass and saw that the person dropped something. He picked up the pen and saw that a name was engraved on it, “It says Pen.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked at the pen, “Do you think it's her?” 

“Maybe...” He put the pen in his coat pocket and sighed, “Let’s forget about this for now and dance in the roses.”

She glanced at his hand and nodded her head, “I would love to dance with you.” 

“I will always dance with you, my violinist.”

────°˖✧ ✧˖°────────°˖✧ ✧˖°────

Tag List:

@sumzysworld @futuristicenemychaos @joonlover1207 @mimidonut

[whyse7vn]

MR BANG? -

[ot7 x reader]

DRUGGIES

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: be honest do you guys love me

cuz why did you let me do a song with central cee…

yoongi: wanted to laugh

y/n: you didn’t even tell me

hobi: i actually begged you not to if i remember correctly!

jimin: what is central cee??

jin: what are we taking about

tae: when he said “im not a her father” it really resonated with me cuz i’m also not her father

y/n: who is her?

hobi: the block b song?

jk: wish i was her

jimin: central cee?? do i know central cee?? is this like jack hammer’s cousin or something

jin: tf is jack hammer?

yoongi: jack harlow

y/n: jack and jill something about a hill

jin: what is actually going on

hobi: too much!!!!

jk: did you like the song tho

yoongi: no!

jk: minus jack harlow

y/n: you did another song with jack harlow??

jk: i mean central cee

hobi: celery

jimin: TF IS A CENTRAL CEE??????

jin: wow i’m loosing my mind

jin added namjoon to “DRUGGIES”

tae: that’s not namjoons number

jin: yes it is

tae: omg wait

why do have two namjoons in my contacts??

jin: idk tf

leave me alone

namjoon: i am done interacting with you guys outside of work hours

jimin: do you know central cee namjoon?

hobi: we have work hours?

tae: why do i actually have 2 namjoons

i’m freaking out

do you have a twin joon?????

namjoon: no

tae: ok but why do i have two of you then??

explain that

i bet you can’t

namjoon: stop talking to me

now.

y/n: now.

hobi: that was so alpha x reader of you joonie

yoongi: x reader?

tae: alpha???

jk: namjoon has a twin?

jin: ew

someone kill it

tae: should i add the twin to the gc?

y/n: no

jk: yesssss!!!

tae added Bang PD to “DRUGGIES”

jimin: oh

tae: hello namjoons twin!!

quick question when we had that threesome did you happen to feel anything??

namjoom: OH MY GOD???

namjoon changed the gc name to “bts💜”

tae: just want to know if that twin telepathy stuff is real

hobi: do you even know what telepathy is?

tae: yeah

jimin: i highly doubt that actually!

tae: come on joon number 2 you can tell me!!!

bang pd: Wow Taehyung and Namjoon have had a threesome together?

That is what you guys do on your days off?

namjoon: HES JOKING sir lol!!

i am so sorry idk why he even said that

tae: sir lmao??????

don’t tell me ur the younger twin 😭

yoongi: wow he’s dumb as fuck

y/n: ??omg

mr bang!!!!!!!!

bff what are you doing here???

tae: what?

Bang PD: Y/n ☺️!!!

I actually have no idea it seems Taehyung has added me in here under the impression i am Namjoons twin?

tae: oh my god…….

OH MY GOD….

OH MY GOD

jin: yeah

Bang PD: It’s ok i can leave if you would like me too.

y/n: don’t be silly you can stay!!!!!!!

namjoon: sir don’t worry you can stay! we don’t really talk much here anyways

jk: yes we do

why is he lying

namjoon: no we don’t

jk: ???????

we talk here everyday

basically every hour

omg just like my song

every hour

every minute

every second

hehhehehe

jimin: yk jk can’t take a hint

idk why ur trying namjoon

namjoon: so how was your day sir?

Bang PD: It was good thanks for asking!

How was yours?

namjoon: busy as usual!

jk: why is he lying again

he was at our house

wasn’t he y/n??

he didn’t even do anything

he just sat there…

Bang PD: Oh?

namjoon: HA HA HA WOW JUNGKOOK UR SO FUNNY

wow classic jungkook!!!

don’t be silly you know i was in the studio working on the song coming out soon ha ha lol

jimin: i’m telling you he’s not gonna get it…

jk: is namjoon ok?

why is he acting strange

and lying

bet it’s the coke 😭

y/n: LMAO

not funny

Bang PD: Ha i hope that’s a joke jungkook😂

namjoon: IT IS

IT REALLY IS HA LOL

rigHT GUYs??????

hobi: HA HA HA JUNGKOOK UR SO FUNNY WOW UR HILARIOUS ACTUALLY WOW LOL

yoongi: ???

oh

yeah

sooooo funny lol

jin: 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

jimin: wow ur so silly jungkook!

tae: LOOOOOOOL

jk: i’m not joking

namjoon: you are

jk: i’m not :(

namjoon: i’m telling you

you are

jk: why

Bang PD: Sorry guys as much fun as it was talking to you all i must leave now.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend and don’t cause too much trouble haha

The leaked chats was enough drama for this year!!!

y/n: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

leaving so soon

bye bff

namjoon: goodbye sir please take care of yourself and we will definitely keep out of troubles way haha

right guys???

tae: ig

jimin: ofc bye mr bang ☺️!

jin: yes no trouble for us !!

even thought it wasn’t even my fault LOL

bye mr bang💓

yoongi: yup 👍🏻

bye

hobi: no trouble no drama!! it was nice speaking to you!!!

jk: GOODBYE MR BANG 😆

Bang PD: and before i go y/n i hope you and Jaehyun are doing well ❤️

Bang PD left “bts💜”

yoongi: huh

jin: OHMYGOD??/?:£7.

namjoon: um

jimin: HELPPPPPPPCPFFOFOFOLFK

jk: NO SAY THIS IS FUCKING FAKE OHMUGOD

hobi: wait plot twist

tae: SHUT THE FUCK UP????????????????

y/n: wow um

that’s CRAZY wow

WHAT A FUCKING SNAKE BTW

but um

wow

i swear i can explain!

WOOOOW

UM

ok maybe i can’t lol

wow

y/ns first time left speechless 😱

first time for everything hahahaha

ok that wasn’t funny

soooo like wooooowww that was crazy

why did tae have mr bang saved under joons name ??

he’s so silly am i right or am i right??

jk: i’m going to kill myself

tae: i’ve never fallen to my knees so hard before

yoongi: nct lame as hell

namjoon: so are you dating him or?????

jk: IS THIS WHY yOU HAVENT KISSED ME IN LIKE 4MONTHS?/£:&;&; OH MY GOD

IM GONNA YEHSNDCN XNDJCJJSKFJJDMDIXJCJVK

THERE IS ANOTHER MAN

IM GOJNA KMS

IOHMXUXUDICICJDNDJCJ

y/n: ok so basically

y/n left “bts💜”

jimin: she’s so real for that

hobi: feminism

jin: LWMSODOOFO

yoongi added y/n to “bts💜”

namjoon: let’s move on

yoongi: no wtf???

y/n: hi guys !!!😁😁😁😁😁

hobi: in my baggy baggy baggy baggy baggy baggy jeans

jimin: be honest was try again about you

hobi: pls remember my answer is you 😉

jin: thought she liked mark lee

tae: she liked me once

sighs

jk: sHE LIKED MEFIRST

yoongi: yeah now ur lying

jimin: ohmygod cat fight!!!!!!

namjoon: now is not the time guys

hobi: look at joon trying to be the voice of reason

we know you mad asf rn don’t pretend 😭

namjoon: shut the fuck up both of you

jin: i’m on y/ns side i support women’s rights and wrongs!!!!

y/n: I AM NOT IN THE WRONG

jin: yeah ok you go girl!!!!!

yoongi: u saying ur not in the wrong is crazy lmao

jimin: NOO CUZZ WHY THEY FR FIGHTING JIN HOBI ARE YOU SEEING THIS

hobi: LAMSKDKKDODNDJSKSJD

THIS IS CRAZYYY

jin: TEAM Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

namjoon: stop

hobi: yk what didn’t stop

y/n when she made jaehyun her boyfriend

jimin: LAMOSDODOODODODJ

jin: HELP ME OHMUGOFJDJDJXB

y/n: okay guys shut the fuck up 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

—

okay LMAO this was clearly an unfinished work lmao but it was so silly not to post LIKE??? and this was obviously written right after too much came out and then i edited a little of it today but yeah still hope it was silly and cool enough for you all >\\\&lt;

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.65)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The truth always comes out one way or another, and with Jimin temporarily whisked away for surgery- it's up to you and yoongi to answer Namjoon's questions.

Tags: Angst, blood, guns, murder, discussions of morality, descriptions of dead bodies, discussion of past spousal abuse, confessions, hurt/comfort, sickfic, hospitals, reconciliation, vmin focus, Trans! tae, Everybody lives nobody dies,

W/c: 15.0k

A/N: this chapter is a bit heavy on the dialogue but! sorry that this chapter came out when it did, we're finally here! sorry for the break in chapters- I got some not great news about a family members health and wanted to spend some extra time with them over the holidays.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The abandoned industrial building rises without warning from the mist and fog. You could almost call in lonely. Although it has its comfort in its stillness, the same way that monsters that do not move do not instill fear. A foe vanquished but not forgotten.

The body. The dust. The puddle of blood by the door is more than enough evidence for plausible deniability. The faint splatter of it here and there like confetti left after a parade, or flower petals that fall in spring and pile up like snow.

Moonbyul stands in the doorway, like a pagan in a house of God. Out of place and out of mind. Dark coat unblemished by dust or blood. She doesn’t stoop to touch the ground or try and clean up the evidence from Jimin and Jin’s misbegotten hours here. She doesn’t think Hobi’s name, although she knows it.

God does she know it.

She’s poured over all the files that her men have collected about your pack for weeks now. Searching out weaknesses like a snake searches rabbit holes for soft fur and an easy meal. She’d spent the most time lingering over Tae’s file. The photos that shift from short hair to long, lipstick that she finds too pink and distasteful.

Red is better color.

She'd spent a long time pouring over Jin’s too because she’d needed to. Jimin and her cousins had been glossed over. She already knows enough about them to last a lifetime.

But only one file had given her paper cuts. Revenge on paper is not as sweet as it should be.

She doesn’t need to read that file anymore. Although she hears the words that the youth said so many months ago on repeat, you and Hobi in the coffee shop caught only on security camera. “I think I heard something I shouldn’t have”. As well as the ones that followed.

Contrary to popular belief, Moonbyul doesn’t like killing. She views it only as a necessity. She looks at the blood on the floor without any disgust. It’s been a long time since she’s cleaned up any alpha's mess, and she’s not going to start now.

She looks down at the blood and smiles. It’s a rare thing- seeing her smile. It’s different from her grin that bares her teeth. Sharped incisors changed and honed just before she’d been appointed the head of the moon family.

She remembers her mother's words when she’d looked at them in the mirror for the first time, She remembers that she could still taste the file they'd used to carve them. Metallic, like blood on her tongue.

“All the most dangerous alphas have fangs; you’ll need to learn to use them if you want to fill your father’s shoes.”

Familial death is more of a rite of passage than a time for mourning in the family. A time when power shifts and secrets get covered up or aired out. Like the moon waxing and waning.

Moonbyul hadn’t been born with fangs, the way alphas always are. Moonbyul hadn’t been born with a lot of things.

A smiling Moonbyul is either a happy or a bloodthirsty one. And a happy Moonbyul, when properly stroked- means they get privileges.

Privileges in their pack, amount to small little things most of the time. A night where they don’t have to take the heat inducers. A night where they can wear comfy sweats instead of the lingerie and stifling silk. But if they're extra sweet and good they get better things. A free evening where they can see their families as long as they come home before sunrise.

“Do you think he’s dead?” Solar is dressed as her clone today, with stockings pulled up her milky thighs flashing beneath the long hem. Extra extra cute in the way that she loops her arm into Moonbyuls and pouts. as if she's upset that her alpha is paying more attention to the murder than her.

She still smells faintly of sex, moonbyul, and her own ginger scent. Not like fresh cut- the kind that baked goods have around Christmas time.

Moonbyul smiles, rapping her long nails against where Solar's arm is curled around hers clinging to her as if her life depends on it. It does- Moonbyul and her both know it does. But Solar has always been a good pet. She’s never needed quite as much correction as Wheein who likes to know exactly where her cage ends and begins, or like Hyejin- who needs nearly as much combatting and careful maneuvering as their enemies.

She'd learned from Hyejin. Had never let the others have quite as much freedom or get used to challenging her. There's a reason why Hyejin had demanded to wear her mating mark and why Moonbyul had let her have it.

Omega's however sweet and however docile, still need a cage. Moonbyul's only ever tried to branch out of her tastes once, and she won't ever do it again. Disastrous as alphas are. They make piss-poor lovers and disobedient needy pets.

She sighs. Alphas and their messes.

In truth, the pack could use someone truly obedient, someone for whom being good is as easy as breathing to balance them out. The pack could use a good pup. The pack could use you.

Moonbyul burns in want, stewing in it ravenous. It’s not love, it’s not even really lust either. She’s never been an easily sated person. She’s always wanted too much, always finished the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. She’s always wanted everything.

That’s why she’s smiling, because she’s about to get it.

She stands a little straighter, holding out her palm. “Why don’t we go see.” Moonbyul doesn’t turn to leave, however. She doesn't walk towards the body dumped at the back of the building, still bearing Jin's fingerprints. A single strand of hair would do it. She doesn’t make any move other than to reach into her pocket and take out a lighter.

She thinks of the family's assassins; The Bee, The Spider and The Wolf. She thinks of Park Jimin. The snake. Hopefully either dead or in the process of dying.

The body in the back of the building is another one of hers. She never thought that this would be the end of the Wolf, he'd always been one of their most reliable killers. Always showed up on time too, an exemplary employee. Not to be easily duped. She'll have to figure this out and pin down What did him in. But that will take time and energy, only one of which she has.

He was only supposed to wait in the wings and ensure that neither Park Jimin nor Kim Seokjin left this building alive, nothing more.

Sometimes things are just coincidences, sometimes if you're lucky- they're just bad luck.

This doesn't feel like bad luck, this feels like revenge.

Solar makes a noise in her throat, a questioning chirp. She really is trying to be her cutest right now. Moonbyul won’t reward her in a way that she likes, a way that she wants. Even songbirds still feel the itch to fly. Clipped wings and all.

She looks at the flame, sparking.

“Why won’t you just leave the evidence? Wouldn’t that be easier?” Solar is not as good as Hyejin at handling this sort of thing, not as experienced. But she’s currently handling other more important things. Things that need her finer touch.

Solar doesn’t understand why Moonbyuls going to light this place up like a fucking Christmas tree and do Seokjin’s dirty work for him. Solar is only a pup, and she’s been kept like that because Moonbyul likes pupish omegas.

She likes the innocence and obedience that people who weren't made for this kind of life have. So eager to please that they're willing to debase their souls. There is no greater sacrifice, no greater sign of love than someone willing to do anything for you.

This also happens to be why she likes you. Why she will have you. because neither Solar nor Wheein have ever been as good at this as you were. The perfect medium between sinful and pious. Cute even while killing.

And 5 is a prettier number than 4. 3 pups for her and Hyejin is a prettier number than 2. They need more than one for each.

Just one more pup, and then their collection will be complete. It took them so long to find the right one, so much trial and error. (Moonbyul despises errors. She's going to try and kill one before this is through)

She won’t let you slip through their grasp, not a second time. You should have never been Yoongi's.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to leave this as evidence? So that the FBI gets them all? We could just like- buy them off if they wanted to take her too-”

“Oh pup” she croons, half gentle. Flicking the lighter and letting it burn in front of her face before she tosses it The soil is so soaked through with gasoline that it lights as easily as a candle, slowly spreading from wall to wall and then- in the doorway, until the heat is too much and they have to move away.

“That wouldn’t be any fun now, would it?”

~-~

(Now, Namjoon)

Namjoon’s shirt is soaked so thoroughly with blood that it makes him cold. The hospital always feels cold, goosebumps rise like a mini mountain ranges on his arms. The hair pressed down where the blood has dried.

It’s not his first time covered in blood, but this time feels different.

He’s shivering, teeth clattering. His hands shake almost too bad to fill out the intake paperwork because he’d rather do it now than later. Park Jimin (registered, Kim) Alpha, weight 165 lbs (give or take a few). Blood type AB. No medications. No known allergies, no known prior conditions. No no no.

No.

Namjoon’s hands shake. He leaves Jimin’s ‘occupation’ blank.

Yoongi sits a few paces back, staring vacantly off into space. On the surface Namjoon would assume that he’s having no reaction and is feeling absolutely heartless about everything that's happened in the last 3 hours. But his breath becomes stuttered every few minutes, like he has to manually force himself to inhale and exhale. Like it’s taking all of Yoongi’s faculties to keep himself breathing and upright and not in a heap on the floor having a mental breakdown.

He kind of wishes Yoongi was crying and screaming instead. Then at least- Namjoon would feel like he had to be the strong one.

He can't get the feeling of stabbing Jimin out of his head, or the sound it it, the wet squelch of knife hitting skin.

Namjoon has cut into people thousands if not hundreds of thousands of times by now. But he’s only cut into someone he loves once, and god Namjoon never wants to do it again- won’t ever be able to touch warm prone flesh and hurt it, not after Minnie. Never again.

The pen in his hand weighs a million pounds. He contemplates asking for a piece of paper and writing out his resignation letter. he breathes in for 5 and out for 9, then sets it down on the clipboard and slides it across the counter for the nurse to take. Namjoon doesn’t hear her quiet tone asking him if he's alright and if there's anything she can do. just shakes his head on instinct.

There is a gaggle of nurses looking around the corner peering at Dr. Kim.

"Do you think he dresses like that outside of work hours?" "I never thought I'd be so attracted to jeans and a tee-shirt." Giggling in quiet voices.

It feels so strange, to hear people laughing while Jimin is dying. Namjoon almost wants to go bite their heads off and report them for poor bedside manner to the hospital manager.

This is Namjoon’s hospital. But Namjoon can’t find it in himself to smile or say thank you to the nurse when she tells him that the second she gets any news on Jimin, he'll be the first to know. He can’t say anything through the mountain of emotion in his throat.

If Namjoon’s love is a mountain, then his anguish is a river threatening to drown him. Yoongi smells like it- the line where water turns clear to brackish, Yoongi’s miserable scent has always smelled like the churning sea and now something that feels an awful lot like seasickness makes Namjoon sway on his feet.

Since he’s done with the paperwork, he promptly returns to Yoongi’s side and sits down. Only once he's sure he's stationary, does he pull a nearby wastebasket over between his knees to upend the contents of his stomach. It hits the top of old gauze pads crumpled up at the bottom and smelling like piss with a surprisingly violent sound, drawing the gaze of more than one person in the waiting room. At least it finally quiets the giggles.

Yoongi’s hand finds Namjoon’s knee, the hole in his jeans, The back of his ribs, stroking once twice. steady and hard the way that Namjoon likes. And Namjoon wishes he could snap at Yoongi. Wishes he didn’t curl into the touch. Wishes he was angrier. Wishes Jimin was perfectly alive and breathing and not going to-

Yoongi’s hand settles on the back of Namjoon’s neck, his throat, pulse hammering, thudding.

They’re just kids and Yoongi's hands are calloused. They've always been.

Deep down Namjoon still feels like he’s only 8 years old. Is just a kid and just starting to understand that the world isn’t all just papercuts and skinned knees; that it means something when people hurt. That it means something when you tell them you won’t let them hurt anymore.

He remembers promising Jimin something similar- a long time ago, the summer they all first met:

Namjoon remembers Jimin, standing in the apartment that wasn't theirs yet, after a movie night, the first movie night that the pack had ever had togeather (not totally togeather, becuase you and hobi hadn't been there yet but still).

It was the first time Namjoon had ever seen Jimin in something other than a designer sweater, sweats and a tee-shirt so ordinary that Namjoon was surprised it didn't make him look less intimidating. standing in the doorway waiting for Namjoon to notice him and look up from his medical journal.

"Yes Minnie? Did you need something?" jimin had shifted from foot to foot. looking up at jimin, a first slice of vulnerability in his eyes.

"Tae and Jungkook, they've got a bit of pain in them. I want to know what you intend to do with it." namjoon set his glasses to the side, the papers rustling as he forgets his reason.

"Make it better hopefully?" Namjoon had been struck with how oddly intense he'd been. Jimin had opened up with time and had gone sweet and trusting with the right amount of love. But he'd looked intimidating in his dark clothes and the wrinkle between his eyes like he was used to furrowing his eyebrows. A cute detail that Namjoon already wants to brush away. To touch. to cradle. To love.

He'll catalogue all of Park Jimin's cutest things in time. He'll treat love as a scavenger hunt, to find the softness in someone who tries so outwardly to be gruff and strong.

Namjoon's stained sleep clothes and promises felt all the more shabby in comparison.

"I need you to promise."

Namjoon had avoided it. Unwilling to meet his words with the same intensity. Jimin doesn't take chances with Jungkook and Tae. Tae's low laugh from the other room, Yoongi's matching grumble, overly fond already. Overly fond from the beginning.

"What about you? Doesn't everyone have pain?"

"Just promise."

"I promise to look after the three of you." Jimin had scoffed. Puffing up like a bird with too many feathers.

"I don't need looking after. Just them- when I go away for work."

"I know, but let me do it anyway." Smiling at the pretty alpha was so easy, so easy with the sounds of Jungkook and Jin's giggles in the other room. Laughter building itself into the walls around them.

"I promise not to hurt you or them. You have my word."

Namjoon lied, Namjoon lied back then and he didn't even know it. He upends his stomach again and Yoongi rubs down his spine.

“He’s not going to die Joon, he’s going to be fine.” Namjoon continues to empty his stomach, it’s pizza mostly, a bit of coffee, and a half-digested protein bar from this morning as well.

“Does hurting the people you love ever get easier?” Namjoon asks. Honesty, not anger in his tone.

Yoongi’s hair has gotten longer and hangs in his eyes. Yoongi never grew his hair out before you, always kept it in that short black sort of coconutty style. It makes him look older and all the more beautiful. Namjoon wonders if that’s why you like it; How regal it makes your mate look.

Yoongi has asked so much of Namjoon in the last few years, from leaving to coming back and bringing you. To hiding the mating mark and now this. Namjoon tells himself he should care more about Yoongi's lies and less about the fact that he just lied, period.

“No,” Yoongi grimaces. He always gets so quiet when things are bad, steady in that consistent way. He still hasn't stopped stroking Namjoon's back. Namjoon knows this is simply all Yoongi knows how to do, his first instinct is to love and not much else. “It was never easy.”

It’s not weird that they re-hash this now. Every time Namjoon learns more about how and why Yoongi left, he understands it more.

“I threw up too, just so you know- when I left, leaving you made me so sick that I hurled the second I got on that train. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” He blinks back wetness in his eyes, “I don't remember if I've ever told you that."

Namjoon nods. He can't remember right now either.

It’s been an hour or so now since Yoongi drove fast but steady steady steady to the hospital. Namjoon in the back while he stabilized Jimin in much the same fashion that you'd done earlier. The rest of the pack should be here soon. The three of you only lingered behind to clean up a bit and change your clothes, covered with blood and muck and who knows what else.

Yoongi sits like a statue and Namjoon can’t even look at him, can’t ask any questions or even start because he already feels like he’s yelling, and Namjoon hates yelling. This isn't isn’t exactly the most private venue for secrets that could land Jimin in jail.

Namjoon's still not entirely convinced that stabbing him was worth it. Namjoon’s brain is dizzy with terror. He’s still dizzy when he turns and sees you walking through the front doors to his hospital, Jin and Hobi trailing behind you.

He remembers the way you’d looked the day they’d gotten you checked out for the first time; how you’d run and pressed your face to his chest and buried your face there like just the sound of Namjoon's heart could make every demon and monster go away. For a moment, Namjoon thinks you might do the same thing. But your steps are measured, slow, and purposeful.

Namjoons eyes train on you, following you as you walk,

Yoongi stands, leaving Namjoon sitting with a cooling pail of vomit between his legs. he says something to you, to jin, but you don't pause, continuing until you're standing in front of him.

You don't say anything to him, just peer into the bucket and make a disgusted face down at it. Namjoon's teeth feel too sharp in his mouth with such a tense jaw.

Hoseok is on the phone, face gaunt and tired-looking. He must have drawn the short end of the stick and has the job of calling Jungkook and Tae and telling them what happened. They really shouldn’t drive themselves, but all Namjoon can reasonably do is restrain himself from cornering you and Jin and start demanding answers. 

He barely even turns to Jin when the omega goes up to the desk and asks if they can have a room, please. A private place for the pack to nurse their worries and not crowd the already-packed waiting room. Namjoon couldn’t name the nurse by name right now if he wanted to but he’s well known here and well-liked too. They give them one of the adjacent exam rooms to wait- Jimin’s surgery will take a few hours more, and there isn’t anything to do but wait.

Terrible terrible waiting, terrible terrible time. (You get a bucket when you want a drop and a drop when you want a deluge. Time only comes in two increments; too much or not enough.)

You drop a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder without a word. After some beckoning Namjoon follows you into the room. Legs shaking and sluggish at first. The pack is quiet even as the door closes. 

But once Namjoon's moving it’s hard to stop, careening like a comet or a bullet in your direction. Staggering.

You’d taken precious seconds to change your blood stained clothes before following Namjoon. You all pulled on the first things you could get your hands on. Which is how you’ve ended up in your mate’s shirt and Jungkook’s jacket, and how Hoseok’s in one of Tae’s extra-large pink sleep shirts stained from hair dye underneath Namjoon’s puffer coat and a pair of jungkook's grey work out sweats. Jin had been a little bit more purposeful- his sweatpants match- his matching purple set.

Namjoon's shirt is dark from blood, the bloodstain drying crusty, sticking to his skin like glue.

To say that Namjoon is angry is an understatement; rage rolls off of him in quiet unending ripples carrying with it the strength to change the pack for good if he’s not careful. He doesn't walk to the chairs no- he bee-lines it to you.

He watches you startle and turn, eyes widening. You do not make to move out of his path. 

Namjoon has never made you feel afraid before, but the pulse of it, the threat of fear is there as he backs you against the wall until your body lies against it. Looming over your head, so much taller and larger than you.

An alpha. An alpha hunting.

You tremble but you do not move to avoid him when he corners you.

He has a tiny bit of blood on his face, and a hairline splatter, almost like a constellation of stars across his temple. His fingers are harsh and shaking when they dig into your cheeks, pinching them until your lips open. Your knees tremble and you press your palm flat against the wall.

His scent thunders so thick and consuming that you can't physically stop yourself from trying to bear your throat. Namjoon stops you, holding you in place.

His eyes are dark and heavy-lidded as he looks down at you, He pinches your cheeks harder, shakinging you just a little. His voice is steady when he speaks, inches away from low snarl.

“Never make me hurt one of our packmates again.” You swallow, although it’s hard. And he pinches again- harder before you get a chance to speak- to try and defend why you brandished that knife at Jimin hours ago. Namjoon holds your face the same way he held the knife- tenderly.

“I mean it. Never.”

He holds you there for a second longer before he lets you go, leaving you gasping. His hand slides down your throat to your shoulder and neck, You would fall over if it wasn't for his touch keeping you up.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, a few stingy tears making themselves known at the corner of your eyes. Namjoon rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. His spiky silver hair hits your skin. Rough.

After a second, he opens them again. Nodding. And his scent loses its bitter edge. He guides you to rest against his chest. You take big gasps of his scent now that he's giving you permission. Your instincts thunder through you so viciously that you can't physically stop yourself from tilting your neck and bearing your throat. 

Namjoon just drags a finger down it, humming. He holds you up, arms around you, a shield and a cage.

“It’s not okay.” I’m not okay, “but I forgive you.” Your knees do give out when Namjoon’s hand brushes the back of your neck, fingers digging in, a half hearted scruff that feels a bit like an apology of his own.

Even if he wants to be angry, anger won’t accomplish anything. Especially with you. His anger will only make you afraid and although Namjoon cannot be expected to control his emotions all the time, you have no reason to fear him.

He's never going to hurt you. He promised.

He walks you two strides, to put you into a chair next to Yoongi. Your mate takes you from him. The plastic chair makes a loud scraping noise against the linoleum floor. Jin's on your other side looking just as tired as the rest of you.

You'll get no rest tonight, sleeping in Jimin's hospital room when he gets out of surgery. Every fitful dream interrupted by the oxygen monitor on his arm. the first few hours when it will go off twice and prompt examination of his vasculature and operation site as well as a fresh dose of blood thinners. The biggest danger going forward will be blood clots; one too large in jimin's arm could leave his hand with nerve damage, numb for good.

But for now, Namjoon looks down at you, yoongi, and jin sitting in the plastic chairs. Secret, killer, and agent. All there in a pretty little row. Namjoon glares down at the three of you and crosses his arms.

“Explain.” Namjoon can’t wait another minute, another second. “Explain to me everything going on in my pack that I don't know about right now or I swear I'll-"

Yoongi scoffs, "That you'll what? That you'll tear us apart Namjoon? that you'll leave? Look around you- we're already falling to pieces." 

"You don't honestly expect me not to be angry that I had to stab jimin do you-"

"No, but don't yell at her. I have my limits."

"I wish I was one of those limits, but i'm clearly not since you insist on fucking over our pack-"

Jin turns, cutting them off from their argument with the true shock of his next words. You know that's what he's intending- but it sort of backfires. "Joonie, Don't get mad at Yoongi or her for this. Especially since I'm the one who shot Jimin. It was an accident."

You flinch, then put your head in your hands, namjoon's scent goes impossibly thick and angry for a second before he gets it under control. You physically watch Namjoon's hackles raise. watch Yoongi push back in his chair, leg jumping, running his hands through his hair looking from you to Jin, then back again.

"Jin, you should have kept that to yourself."

"What the fuck-"

Namjoon looks like he doesn't know weather to cry or laugh. "You don't just shoot someone on accident-"

Jin's got the best scoff, one worthy of music screens not just the quiet tomb of this room. Your relationship that's dying all around you. "You don't just stab someone on accident either and yet here we are-"

There are some secrets you take to the grave and others that you keep for too long, so long that they make a grave out of you. Keeping secrets is like keeping someone else's heart beating, you run out of blood eventually. 

You might vomit up the truth all over the hospital floor just like Namjoon did a few minutes ago. You feel sick and light-headed and sort of like you might have low blood sugar. namjoon's scent, angry alpha affects you more than you realize.

You start to teater, and their next biting words get extinguished when you almost fall out of the chair, nearly sliding to the floor before Namjoon catches you. One knee dully aches as he picks you up like you weigh nothing, ducking in close, real concern in his face, all his anger gone.

"Shit are you okay?"

"Pup?"

"Just got lightheaded-" Whatever it was, your lightheadedness will have to wait for another time. It's honestly probably just stress. Your heart feels like it's beating extra fast, extra hard.

Namjoon places you gently back in the chair and Yoongi touches your shoulder, the trio of their concerned faces that you swat away.

"We should wait for Hobi." You still owe him an explanation- for earlier and these aren't the kind of secrets you say more than you have to. A cup of water gets thrust into your hands and for once, they fall silent.

When Hobi comes in he’s mostly quiet holding his phone in his hand. Looking at you from across the room. His soulful eyes watching you, head tipping to the side in deference.

"Tae's in-" It takes him a second to gather his words. "Tae's in a fucking state. She was crying so hard that Jungkook had to call them an Uber. I just told her Jimin had been stabbed and nothing else because I didn't know what to tell her."

"That's probably for the best we don't have to-" your mate starts, but Namjoon cuts him off.

"No, no more secrets. Not between any of us."

Hoseok still has a hickey from you on the side of his neck, from you earlier. Jin's fingers skim down the one on your shoulder where a mirrored mark sits knocking you out of your Hobi-induced reverie, red and bruising from his mouth. Jin raises his eyebrow at you, but now is not the time to tell him about you and hobi.

"We've got like- maybe 30 minutes until they get here."

You swallow past a lump in your throat, readying yourself for it, “better make it quick then,” Namjoon waits, Seokjin is silent, watching you, gaze flickering from you to Hobi every few blinks. Yoongi holds onto your knee, sliding his palm down to your hand, your wrist. Finger digging into the sensitive scent gland there and rubbing comforting circles.

You swallow hard. “We’re all on each other's sides, right?”

“Of course,” Jin crosses his arms like he's offended you even had to ask. You bite back your retort. Namjoon nods, so does Hobi.

Your hair flops as you nod. But you still look to Yoongi to wait for permission. After a breath your mate nods and spreads his hands, giving you the floor.

If there’s one thing you know it’s that you can’t do this alone, you and Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin, Jimin and Tae. You and Hobi. There is no separation here, not when it comes to your safety. Each of you cannot keep the rest safe on your own.

“I met Jimin a few months before I met Yoongi, I…Yoongi’s family-”

Yoongi resists the temptation to speak for about 10 seconds when you fall silent. You can sense the moment that the truth shifts, when it explodes at Yoongi’s tongue. Unbidden but frantic and relieving like it's taken Yoongi's whole being to keep all this in.

“My family, I've never liked calling them that. Blood means nothing to me, you guys, you guys were always my family more than them." The pack is silent but you lace your hands with his and nudge his thigh with yours, encouraging him to go on.

"My relatives run the largest network of organized crime on the East Coast, from Boston to Miami. Everything from racketeering to prostitution to production and distribution of pharmaceutical-grade opioids. cover ups, sale of illegal weapons, extorsion of political officials and blackmail. If you can think of a crime they do it. If you can think of a way to make money, they've got their hands in it. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t go home- why my parents-”

Yoongi breaks off, his voice going small and quiet. Wounds he doesn’t talk about- even to you.

“There’s maybe 200 of us now. I’ve got a lot of fucking aunts and uncles. We try to stay in our lanes, our cities, and deal only in our respective crimes. There's a lot of politics and a lot of people vying for control here and there, but only alphas are allowed to lead, omega's increases the bonds of power in other ways and beta's- You know how rare beta's are- in my family- i'm treated as second only to the family head. Being a beta offered me certain liberties. Other freedoms. Not only to avoid most of the violent stuff- but to leave and move around without asking for permission. It's like a get out of hell free card. Not everyone gets that."

You snort, crossing your arms over your chest, “You mean they didn’t exactly expect you to go about popping heirs or advancing the family business through murder and ruining innocent people's lives. not like they expected with me."

Hoseok shrivels his nose, He looks from you to Yoongi- eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “hang on i thought- Are you guys trying to say you’re fucking related or-”

“Oh my god daisy-”

You splutter, “gross- No, we’re not fucking like- blood-related or anything.” You tap your chest. "I'm non family- brought in from the outside. Which means I was just about as valuable as piss to the aunts. In our world the only reason to mate or marry is for power- any other reason and your spouse is considered disposable." you cross your legs, admitting something you've kept to yourself, not a secret just a suspicion. "Geumjae never intended to keep me around forever."

Seokjin makes a strangled noise and Namjoon runs his hands through his hair, “Jesus Christ.”

Hobi raises his hands bare, “Sorry! You’re not doing a good job of explaining!”

"Well, if you just gave me a minute to get to the point-" Yoongi seems to shake himself, to put himself together. “Like she said- I'm not expected to partake in the family buisness, Only alphas are allotted that 'honor'." Yoongi puts the words in quotations and adds an eye roll for good measure.

"Mainly- I’m treated as some sort of glorified advice Column. People call and ask me things and I’m required to answer or else they’d hunt me down and drag me back. They bring me in to coordinate stuff because I'm a beta and I keep everyone calm and keep them from killing each other and shooting out their squabbles. I tried to keep you guys safe that’s why I left but-“

Jin’s hand goes to yours, nodding, because he understands. “But not why you stayed away.”

“No. It's not.” The pack's eyes naturally stray to you.

“The heads of houses report to the family head and she directs them to me if they need a beta's touch. Only she hasn't- the new Don hasn't asked anything of me since taking power. When the last one died- my grandparents- I left to help with the transition. But the new Don doesn't need me."

You flinch, you try to hide it but Yoongi turns, ferreting out that there's a secret there without you having to confess it. Your voice is darker than they’ve ever heard. "It's not that she doesn't need you- it's that she doesn't trust you."

Yoongi tries not to sound accusatory. "Her trust isn't something you should be after."

“It’s not- promise I just-” You pick at a stray thread on your pants.

The linoleum floor in front of you is polished so clean that you can see your reflection in it. "She shouldn't trust me either- and she knows it. Believe me she knows it."

Now it's Yoongi's turn to look at you. To pull himself to the edge of his chair to try and get in front of you. A wordless question that he dares not speak.

"Before you, I was already trying to do whatever I had to survive. including doing what everyone else did back in that hellhole and ask for help-"

Yoongi stands, to much energy and panic in his body to stay seated. “You didn’t." This is a fight and a confession you shouldn’t have In front of the rest of them.

You look up at Yoongi, eyes beseeching. He's quiet and you make your words as measured and soft as you can. "I asked your grandparents first- and then when she told me as long as I did what she said she'd get me out I-"

“She’s more dangerous than Geumjae, you can’t have honestly been trying to trade one captor for another."

The whole pack is silent, watching the two of you. Not really understanding. But Jin- Jin pursues his lips. You don't know how he knows but he does.

Yoongi’s face goes truly white. Yoongi’s hands are shaking. Shaking until he grabs the handles of your chair, knees to the ground, bowed in front of you. Letting your silence stew for a second.

Maybe it’s a terrible thing to blame it on her, you hadn’t fought not to kill. But back then it had really felt like your only way out, the only way to escape the ever-suffocating pressure of trying not to die.

“For what it’s worth, I had no idea what they meant to you when she made me help her kill them.”

Something shifts in Yoongi’s stature, from surprise and shock to resignation so quickly you almost miss it. A tense set to his jaw but a tight-lipped understanding as his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and he rests his forehead on your knees.

He's very careful in his words. Slow with them and intentional when he lifts his head and stands. You don't know if they're lies. “Just like my parents, just like all of us in the family, I knew their days were numbered anyway.” But you loved them once you want to say. You’re not sure why you want Yoongi to be angry at you.

“I won’t apologize, not for what I had to do to survive.”

Yoongi cradles your cheek. Something dark and conflicted in his eyes.

“I know, but I’d forgive you anyway, even if you did it out of anger.”

“And Jimin?” Namjoon asks, Yoongi's hand drops from your cheek. "How does he connect to all of that?"

“I met him first, I asked him.” You hesitate. This isn't your secret to tell and you don't even know all of it- like how jimin even became an assassin or started killing. you don't know his motives. It's one thing to confess your own sins, and another to talk about Jimin's to them without his say-so.

Jin darts forward, holding your hand in both of his, “Whatever we say in this room- I’d never dream of recording. I’m not on anyone’s side but ours.” Jin screws his eyes shut tight, willing you and Yoongi to believe him. "Even with the FBI thing."

Namjoon whirls. He doesn't have to ask before Jin's spilling it. telling the truth.

Jin is measured with his speech, but it's his turn. No more secrets, that's what you've all agreed. "I've been working with the FBI for the last 8 years. They approached me back before we met Joonie- because of my proximity to Yoongi. First as an informant, then an agent and now the head of the task force.

"I only did it because I figured out that being a part of them was the easiest way to keep Yoongi out of jail. As long as I could reasonably assume I was the only one trusted and close enough to keep an eye on him, I could keep all the truly damning evidence out of their hands."

Jin turns to you, resisting the urge to reach out to you for his own comfort, you're looking at him like he's got three heads, but he smiles down at you, that pup-soft smile that he saves just for you when you're both nesting.

"I kept your name off of the photocopies of the recipie you used to kill them. Don't worry, no one but us knows." You look at Jin with new eyes, not a double agent but not an enemy either. Somewhere in between. Your heart pulses, and you grip his hand back.

Yoongi pulls his hands through his hair, angry, his tone grave "Well there's your reason-"

Hobi has been so quiet you've honestly almost forgotten he was there. Elbows balanced on his knees and watching the three of you on trial for Namjoon. "Answer to what."

"You don't understand Jin, you don't understand the laws of the family much less the one you've broken."

"The reason why someone's trying to kill you, if anyone finds out that Y/n killed them- everyone connected to them is fair game."

"You mean-"

"We're all done, if anyone finds out, that's probably why the new head of house was trying to take Jin out- to tie up a loose end."

"Hang on, I'm getting confused again." Hobi runs his hands through his hair, and it fluffs up. "Jimin's what again?"

“Jimin is an assassin, I asked Jimin to kill my husband for me but he said no.” You pick at a strand of thread on your pants, unwilling to look up and meet any of their eyes, not Namjoon’s or Jin’s. “Met him back when we meant nothing to each other. He still feels guilty for not saving me. We talked it out a while ago. It’s okay- I did it myself eventually- didn’t need anyone’s help.”

You look up at Yoongi and he looks like he might want to laugh or cry and can't pick which. “I don’t know much else about Jimin other than that he kills for the family."

"They've got people for everything, a few assassin's they keep on retainer," Yoongi clarifies. "People that anyone can hire if you've got the money for it. There are a few names that the family puts on a no-kill list, Children, the pack mates of the ruling pack, the heads of houses and their immediate packmates. If anyone kills a person on the no-kill list- their life is forfeit. I'm on it by default. The pack mates of the beta are on it too, All of you are on it. No one should be trying to kill you."

Yoongi's never paid much attention to the list, the waxing and waning names and faces and photos. he's been on it since before he was born and with no intent to kill or harm anyone and put himself even potentially in harm's way, he's never sought it out.

Maybe if he had, things would go differently.

A cold rush of realization rushes over you. "That's why Jimin and Jin ended up there" You stand up, adrenaline in your hands. "She was hoping they'd take each other out so she wouldn't have to break family law to kill them."

Yoongi shakes his head, "Something about this doesn’t feel right- something about this isn’t normal.”

Hobi’s phone dings before you can hash it out anymore. He looks down in his lap. “They're here,” he’s up and out of the chair, heading out the door and into the hall so quickly that the rest of you have to chase after him. Namjoon tugs you to your feet, staring at Yoongi and Jin. "Was that enough?" you ask.

"We'll talk more later." is all he says. But he does lace his hands with yours and pull you after Hobi. Your legs are so short you have to take two steps for every one of theirs.

“I wish Tae and Kookie were here for that-“

"They should know” your mate agrees, keeping pace with you in the hallway, dropping back with you when Namjoon accidentally lets go in his haste to get through the door. You make eye contact with Yoongi when you turn. Your back to one of those push doors using your body weight to push through it.

You pause, waiting with Yoongi on the other side of them.

“If anyone tells her about Minnie- should be me.”

(You know exactly how you’ll do it, you’ll tell Tae the story of you just like this. You’ll tell it like a story, with author notes and playlists near the end. You’ll talk about Jimin just like this; all of the good parts and all of the bad all in one. So that she might truly understand that having a choice doesn't always mean you're free to do whats right.)

Yoongi nods, “I can tell Jungkook. I think if I do it gently, he won’t get shocked enough to have a seizure.”

You pause before the doors open, to have just a moment with the two of you, just you and him leaning against it. He shifts closer, not holding you, hands by his side but he's close enough that you could rest your head on his shoulder. You do rest your head on his shoulder. Just to hear his heartbeat thud sluggish and heaven-sent against your ear.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” It feels like it’s been ages and ages since you’ve had a quiet moment with him like this. You resolve to have one, to make space for him when this is all over. A private date with just the two of you maybe. Whenever Jimin comes home. “To help with Jimin.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I killed your grandparents.”

“They weren’t good people,” Yoongi shrugs, you've never seen a sadder shrug. “I always knew that. They-” yoongi breaks off, stealing himself for a quiet confession. "I think they might have had a hand in killing my parent. She didn't like it- that they had so much power over me. Future of the family and all."

"You've never said-"

Yoongi pushes through the door, and a high pitched keening cuts off your next words. "Later."

You push through the door and Tae and Jungkook are already there. Entering through the outside doors with a puff of air into Namjoon and Jin's waiting arms. Namjoon holds Tae up as she wails and wails. Her cry high like a nightingale. Jungkook looks pale and shaky, settled under Hobi's shoulder clearly in shock.

You cut through them, ducking under Jin's outstretched arm and colliding with Tae before anyone else can join Namjoon in holding her. falling to little heap on the linoleum floor, just at the precipice of the long hallway that connects to the patient rooms and the nurse's stations to other surgical suites. Drawing countless stars, countless looks from passersby as Tae's sobs renew themselves, loud and broken.

You clinging to each other. Her arms around your shoulders, cradling your head like it's the last safe thing in the universe.

“Jimin,” her voice breaks, throat closing around nothing. Sobs wet and angry, hot tears dripping down her cheeks, big and unabated by hope. "Minnie- My Minnie-"

You cling back, getting your hands on her cheeks. “He’s gonna be fine, he’ll be alright- here- here let me help you up. We've got you Tae-”

Jungkook looks a bit better, a little bit less like he’s drowning. Jin reaches for him while you hold onto Tae. And JK’s nostrils flare, he steps back, looking Jin up and down. Tae clings to you on the floor of the hospital and you look up at them. At Jin and Jungkook, standing a pace apart. Jungkook's hands keep Jin from coming any closer.

“You smell like Jimin does when he comes home from his trips, you smell like gunpowder. And mucky-” Jungkook's voice breaks, "Jin? Why do you smell like blood?"

There are too many people around, too many people for something like this. You're just glad It’s a quiet omission, Jungkook’s scent is level and so is his breath.

Maybe you should give him a lot more credit. Yoongi might not have to tell him much.

Tae's tears hit your collarbones as she crushes you, sobbing loudly in your ear, immune to the string of sweet nothings that fall from your lips. Whispered against her temple.

To everyone else in the hallway, rushing in the late-night hum, you and Tae look just the way that you’d expect; Two girls clinging to each other, one tall and the other short. One an alpha and the other an omega.

The rest of the pack is so blinded by their concern and their terror that they don’t look up. They don’t look down the hall to see the figure standing there watching them. One second the hallway is empty of the dark figure and then next she's there- waiting for you.

Her pine and medicine scent is disguised by the smell of death that lingers here. Although more than 2 of the people there might recognize it if they had the patience to sniff it out. They're too distracted by Yoongi dragging Jungkook close and whispering in his ear to keep his voice down.

Moonbyul watches the scene from the end of the hall. Two coffees in her hands. One for her and one for you because she always assumes that you'll go with her when she asks. No matter what’s going on with your pack, Moonbyul is not the kind of person who you say no to. She’ll ask nicely for you to come one more time.

Or so she thought. Looking at you and Tae holding each other is giving her other ideas.

To love a man is something she's always been able to dismiss as a mistake. Little pups just don't know what they need and even less what they want. She'd been prepared to deal with you loving them, the alphas, on paper, even the admittedly pretty omega male currently in her cousin's arms.

But another woman? Even one like that?

Rage is not like other sorts of anger, it’s not like fire burning to take. Achieng to burn until all the heat has worked itself out. Rage is quiet, rage is darkness and a hunger that needs to consume. That will destroy even if you try to stop it.

It's one thing to know that you love a woman besides her, and another to see you peck kisses along her tearstained cheeks. The rage builds as she watches you cup that female alpha’s cheeks. She watches you brush her hair back from her eyes and tuck it behind her ears. She’s got honeyed skin and smudged lipstick (so inelegant) you wipe her tears away and kiss her cheek.

But what makes Moonbyul’s hands tighten into claws, her metal-tipped nails piercing the coffee cups and making them drip onto the ground, wet and hot, is the way you smile at her.

Moonbyul’s rage is like a tidal wave.

By the time the rest of the pack looks up, the hallway is empty except for a puddle of coffee on the linoleum floor and two discarded cups. One with red lipstick stains and the other without.

~-~

(18 hours later, Jimin)

Tae’s cheek is so soft. That’s the first thing that Jimin’s aware of as he wakes from surgery.

Coming out of general anesthesia feels like being a rickety buoy on the busy ocean. One second bobbing to the surface and the next crashing below the waves and taking on water. Sloshy. Everything feels sloshy.

He only feels her at first- not the hospital bed, not the scratchy sheets, Just the feeling of her cheek resting against the palm of his hand. Her gentle breath tickling his fingers in her sleep.

Jimin will always know the particular beat and cadence of Tae’s body. Would know it if the sun got snuffed out like a candle. Would know her breath anywhere because it’s the very fuel to Jimin’s soul, the very thing that sets the tempo to the heart monitor beating out a pleasant rhythm in the midafternoon hum.

Her skin is pillowy and sweet beneath Jimin’s flayed fingers, limp and cold to the touch because of the whole almost bleeding out thing. He doesn’t know it yet, but he's needed 9 units of blood in the past 24 hours. 4 right away, and 3 during the surgery where they removed the knife and stitched his arm together. And another two units just after.

Compared to his own body, Tae feels so warm.

At least Jimin can still feel his left hand. The doctors that stitched him back together must have done a bang-up job, Namjoon even more so. a lot of people can put an arm back together, a whole slew of them, but not many surgeons could stab someone carefully enough so as to not permanently injure them. There are only so many people that he would trust to stab him.

But Jimin trusts Namjoon with a whole lot more than just that.

When he opens his eyes (a task of herculean proportions) Namjoon isn’t there, it’s just Tae in one of those absurdly uncomfortable hospital chairs. She’s bent over his hospital bed in what must surely be an uncomfortable position to sleep in. Her back arched like invisible wings weigh her down. She slept like that, sprawled as close as she could get to Jimin without the nurses waking her up and telling her not to crowd him.

The smudged mascara on her cheeks flake like falling stars, little trails there were tears rendered it useless. Jimin wipes away a black droplet like he's banishing a ghost. She’s cried so much over the last 10 hours, most of her makeup gone and sporting a bit of 5 o’clock shadow too. The faint roughness that Jimin feels no more than once. Because to derive sensory pleasure from that feels…wrong.

He looks at the ceiling, wondering where the others are. He feels the edge of his body, the spot where the wound begins and the pain ends. Who knew gunshots and stab wounds could make you feel so sore? and tired too? Exhaustion pins his body to the bed like a butterfly to a corkboard.

A wire connected to his good hand tugs, But he ignores it in favor of cradling Tae's head and combing through the tangles in her hair. It's gotten so long now, just to her shoulders, but the bits feel so soft and gauzy against his fingertips. He wishes he could feel it forever. It’s much much better than the 5 o’clock shadow.

It takes a dozen passes for Tae to stir.

And then she startles awake, flinching into being. Fresh tears disrupt the mascara flecks as she beholds her soulmate and nearly tugs herself across his bed to get her hands on his face. To hold his cheeks.

To say that Tae has looked better would be accurate for jimin to say but the words would never grace Jimin’s lips. Not even close. Even with a crusty face and greasy hair- Tae looks gorgeous- so pretty that his heart pulses dangerously quickly. so quickly that jimin's suprised the nurses don't come by and check on him.

Maybe they haven’t given him enough opioids for his shoulder because for a second he feels his heartbeat ricochet through his whole body. To his fingers where he's touching her and back to his heart. Every echo and ripple Tae Tae Tae.

Tae bends over Jimin’s body. Her hands go to his face, fingers touching his smile, and thumbs pressed to his faint crow's feet and twinkling eyes. Clutching at him like he’s her lifeline (he is, a red string of fate that keeps her from drowning, always. She was stupid not to use it like an anchor).

“Pup told me.” She says, a note of finality in her voice, lower lip trembling, tears falling anew “told me you kept talking about me even when you were stabbed" she goes quiet, whispering the words like she's scared someone might be listening in.

"Pup told me everything."

Jimin’s eyes flick from her lips to her face, her body, everything. His hands are trembling, chest building with breaths until they’re heaving and the realization of just how much everything she must know hits him.

Tae knows Jimin well enough to know what a panic attack looks like- knows enough how to soothe it. Knows just to hold on and wait for it to pass. jimin's hands splay and flex, rubbing her skin once, twice, and then a third time in an effort to self-soothe.

"It's okay,"

"You mean you're not-" Jimin's heart monitor is going so wild that Tae has to tell him to calm down. Has to run her fingers up and down his scent glands on his neck, nipping at them to settle him. "You're not angry that I'm-"

That I'm a killer, that I'm a monster. That I've kept everything from you. Jimin readies himself, preparing himself for the speech he always knew he'd have to give. You don't understand, I didn't have a choice, I wouldn't have chosen this- I didn't I just. I never killed people who didn't deserve it- because I know that you'd hate that.

For the first time in their lives, Tae and Jimin are sitting across from each other- without a single secret to each of their consciousness. both of them free and perilously unmoored for it.

But there are no words that Tae needs when she looks up at him and smiles. Wetness at the corner of her eyes.

Seeing Jimin in the hospital bed had not felt like Patroclus and Achilles, it hadn't even felt like Orpheus and Eurydice. There was no roaring anguish. The kind that follows when people leave you too soon. Or the bitter vindication that happens when people leave at just the right time (it’s the worst when people leave like that. Either linger or make me miss you. Stay too long or leave me early. Either way is fine. I’ll feel more human if I’ve got longing or hatred to feel).

In truth seeing Jimin in the hospital bed, wires and hooks connected to him- keeping him alive and keeping him breathing, had felt like a second chance. She's not going to let something as simple as a secret spoil it.

Tae knows she should want to know more about Jimin's job as an assassin and should want to ask more questions (if not to understand her soulmate better, than for writing material). She Should be more revolted or disturbed or upset that her literal soulmate kills people for a living, but at the moment, all she can find in herself is just to be glad that Jimin is fucking alive.

It’s funny, how much your priorities can shift.

Jimin looks like he doesn't believe her. "Tae, you can't even kill spiders."

"Would you care?" Jimin falls silent. "Would you care if it was me in your position?"

Jimin swallows hard and winces. He doesn’t have to ask for a sip of water, because Tae has already gotten it for him by the time his good hand closes over his throat. His shoulder is bound so tightly in bandages that he can hardly shift it. Can't reach up to stop himself from spilling a bit of the water down his chin. Her nails (red polished and chipped) wipe away a drop on his lips.

(There's more that you weren't able to tell her just yet; a lot about you and Yoongi and Jin. You've decided to save the bulk of how Jimin ended up in the hospital bed until after Jimin woke up. Later when you can get her on her own you'll tell her. Probably after Jimin's discharged from the hospital. But the other secrets can wait for now).

It won’t really hit her until later. When she’s in her closet looking at all of her pretty things and designer clothes. Fingers toeing along the fine black cashmere sweaters, to the maroon dresses, to the scarlet ones, stopping just before she reaches the pink. The Dior, the Versache, the McQueen. It will only be then that she'll put two and two together and realize they were all paid for with blood money. With people’s lives.

It will bother her then; it doesn’t bother her right now. It will never bother her enough to think about leaving jimin.

How do you make the choice? What to condemn a loved one for? How do you pin down your line of intolerance when it's someone you love with your whole being? Can you decide at all or is it something that your soul chooses for you? The weight of one sin for another. what you're willing to go through.

They would have died anyway. Even if Jimin hadn't killed them, they had someone out there willing enough to pay for their death and they'd have died anyway she rationalizes. We're all going to die anyway.

Maybe it’s a silver lining that Tae no longer believes in the same kind of sin and wrongness that Jimin does. Doesn’t believe in God and heaven at all. Tae has always believed in soulmates more and believed in Jimin the most. More than any god or afterlife.

“I should be angry, anyone else probably would be but-” Tae turns her cheek into Jimin’s fingers, pressing her lips to his trigger finger. Eyes shining when she looks at him. “I’ve wasted too much of my life being angry at you, wasted too much of it feeling anything but love for you- Jimin- if you died, I-”

Jimin cradles Tae's cheek. “I’m sorry for Namjoon’s rut- for what I said. Didn’t mean it. Never mean it if I'm mean-” Jimin’s finger rubs across Tae’s lips, the wide part of his palm splayed across her jaw, and so much is said in that little touch. But they look at each other and laugh. "Not like Noodle."

It shocks a laugh out of Tae and she presses her temple to Jimin's jaw, feels his smile when the joint moves. She realizes that Jimin's still a little high. Probably too doped up on pain medicine to have this conversation but oh well.

“I never thought it would take you getting stabbed for me to realize it,” her lip trembles, “I don’t want to waste another second being angry with you.”

“I don’t want to waste another second with you either. Won't even sleep,” his eyelashes flutter, struggling to stay awake.

Tae pulls herself more firmly on top of the bed and Jimin shifts a little, wakes a little more when she slings a leg carefully over his hips. Being gentle, still conscious of his physical state. He uses his good arm to pull her up and up until She’s splayed across his lap.

Kissing Tae never loses its edge, it always feels like their first kiss, sweet and with that knotted bundle of anticipation. Jimin sits up into the kiss, sits up until his shoulder protests and he hisses into the kiss. "Don't strain yourself minnie-"

"Don't care just-" he pulls her hips snugly. After that words are sparse as they kiss, again and again, lips working together. Sloppy messy love kisses. Every breath tastes like love, every second of it. She giggles pulling apart for a second to get her breath, the heartbeat monitors in the corner going wild. Breath that washes over Jimin like a gust of spring air, cinnamon flower sweat, and heady. Tae’s kisses are better than a first sip of coffee or a breath of fresh air. (They’re better than living, just a little bit).

“If I was any less sore, I’d ask you to bite me right now.”

Tae grins, and it’s a special secret smile. “You said something like that to Pup too."

“I’m so lucky I get to be yours- don't want to waste the luck-" Tae shakes her head stubbornly pulling back.

"I don’t think that you should say you’re lucky. I’m so lucky that this person loved me, or I’m so lucky that I got to love them. Because when it comes down to it, love and luck are not the same thing. Love is not a single event, like winning the lottery, or finding a 100-dollar bill. Love is a choice and you have to choose it a thousand times. Every day you choose it. Luck is such a cop-out. It’s been really nice.”

“God, I hope I’m more than just nice.”

Tae smiles, “Shut up” She goes a little pale. “Actually don’t shut up with me like- ever. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” She plays with Jimin’s hands, “Is that when either of us- whoever- goes first-“ Jimin’s grip goes knuckle tight on her waist, he's coming out of it, a little more lucid with every breath. Waking up more.

“When one of us dies- I don’t want to question if I ever loved you enough, I don't want to rely on just luck. I don’t want to think about the days that I could have gone for coffee with you or could have kissed you longer. I don’t want to think that I didn’t get exactly what I wanted and you didn’t get exactly what you wanted too.

"I want to give you one extra kiss every time so that you get twice as much as you would have gotten otherwise. I just want to think that it was nice, that every moment of it was nice- even when we fought, I want to look back on it and think ‘even the sad parts were nice and I got more than I thought I would.' No luck involved.”

She grins down at him, that same youthful grin she’s had her whole life, Jimin thinks of it sometimes- how many times she’s smiled this way and he hasn’t seen. How many more he will see.

“Also, y/n says that you’re allowed to mate me, but not marry me. She says my ring finger belongs to her.”

Jimin slides up the bed, flipping her over, supporting himself with his good hand, sending her sprawling and giggling. His growl is half hearted but promising. Tae laces her hand in his greasy blonde hair and it stays there.

It stays there.

~-~

The rest of Jimin’s hospital stay goes a bit like this:

There is a pair of suits outside the window, dark and imposing. plain clothes police officers watching and waiting like vultures. They’ve already taken statements from the pack but demand to hear from Park Jimin himself.

Lies from the source always taste the sweetest.

There is a story ironed out and penned in stolen moments, you curled up in one packmate's lap and transferred to another, "the pup" Jin had said, the youngest, was not taking her alpha's stabbing well. "She just needs a bit of soothing, sorry." The suits are charmed enough by two cuddling omega's that they don't notice your mouth pressed to their ears, like a game of cuddly murderous telephone.

The story gets ironed out easily, you’d all gone out for pizza, had come home to find Jimin bleeding in your kitchen.

“It’s pretty normal for Jimin to be reckless with his health. I’m not surprised he tried to come home and see if I could stitch him up himself. I'm a doctor at his hospital- Dr. Kim, pack alpha and head of neurosurgery. The knife- you should know I touched it on accident he wanted to remove it himself and I just had to stop him- I’m sorry- I should have known better I was just- so shaken.” Namjoon is a passable liar at best.

Jungkook has folded himself under your mate’s arm, and Jin’s too. He’s still vaguely shaking, bunny eyes wider than usual. In a little bit, Namjoon will drag him over to an empty exam room for a quick check-up. Just to make sure he isn't about to seize on the floor. Yoongi will go with him, Will tell him the truth about all of this then.

But what, with his comment earlier, you wouldn't be surprised if Jungkook has already figured it out on his own.

Jimin doesn’t even need to be coached into remembering it. The police don’t even think of not letting the pack see him, after seeing Tae’s teary eyes. A pretty girl is the best distraction, and the pack has two pretty girls that smell sour and need to tend to their alpha before the police get a chance too.

They’re impatient as they watch you and Tae fold yourself over Jimin’s barely aware body, more preoccupied with looking at your asses than they don’t see your lips moving against Jimin’s ear, mistaking your shaking for the racking sobs. And your quiet words for sweet nothings.

Hobi had barely leashed a growl, and resisted the urge to step in front of you and block you both from their sight.

The story is so easy and simple- a true case of Ockham’s razor. The simplest story with the least details is the most likely to be believed. the story Jimin tells the police goes like this;

Earlier yesterday, a crazy fan of the idol group he guards that must have followed him from his schedule with intent to learn his schedule and get closer to them. Her description is so ordinary that they’ll never find her because she doesn’t exist. Any person found will easily be made inculpable; either by alibi or honesty. Not that the law cares much about honesty, nor that any of you care about possibly implicating a stranger.

Love always did make people go to extremes, it's easily believable.

Nothing else matters. Besides keeping everyone safe. You're united against this.

Once they're gone, other promises get made:

“I want you to quit, this is too dangerous, if something like this happens to you again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.”

“We need to make sure we travel in pairs until we figure out what’s going on, why they're targeting Jimin and Jin.”

“I can ask some of my contacts-“

“You’ll do no such thing Yoongi.”

“Do you think we should be like- Armed? Just in case?”

“I don’t think more guns will solve anything but…Maybe.”

In a stolen moment, Namjoon corners you outside Jimin's hospital bedroom, he's holding three bags of takeout, not that Jimin will really be able to eat much of it. The opioids keep down his appetite. That doesn't meant the pack won't try to fuss. As it is, Jimin hasn't been interested in anything but kissing Tae and holding her hand. Pouting whenever the nurses make tae leave.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier," Namjoon has always found apologies easy and has never had so much of an ego that it would get in the way of any of it.

"It's alright, between you and me, I think it was kind of justified." You'd probably yell at all of them if they convinced you to stab Yoongi or tae or any of them.

"No more secrets, okay? Promise me this is the last one." It's easy to promise Namjoon that, so easy. To let him scent you, rubbing his coffee liquor scent all over your shoulder.

(But it's not about the promises that you make, it's about the ones that you break.)

You sit out in the hallway the following morning, still in the same clothes and starting to feel a little bit filthy because of it. None of you have gone home yet. Hobi sits next to you and Jungkook's on the other side.

They’re just checking Jimin’s stitches again, and his hospital room just got a bit crowded. The prospect of checkout is maybe a day away. Tonight is the last you'll have to spend at the hospital.

It was also time to talk over Jimin’s opioid regimen, and the doctor had been nearly delighted when Namjoon had stepped up and taken the lead, reassuring the doctor under no uncertain terms that Namjoon would manage them. You can forgive him for thinking a little too much with his hindbrain. If Namjoon leaned any more into his instincts you'd be worried he was close to going into a rut again.

“Is this what it’s like when I’m in the hospital?” Jungkook asks, sucking on some skittles. It's more sugar than he should be allowed to have especially during a high-stress situation. But Jungkook’s taking the panic to get a little bit of freedom. You cast a glance at Tae, at Yoongi and Jin, standing by the door looking like he’s about ready to twitch out of his skin with the effort it's taking him to stand outside.

Jin had apologized- him and Namjoon both, and Jimin had accepted it instantly. "If I trust anyone to shoot and stab me- it's you two so-"

"But-" they'd argued, but eventually Jimin had turned a little scary, a little threatening. showing a hint maybe- of a persona they're all unused to but you're not. Jimin can be firm when he needs to be. A quick retort of-

"Forcing me to comfort you over something I'm not upset about is not the way to make me forgive you." Shut them up for good (or at least for now).

“Yeah, pretty much.” You hold out your hand for some skittles and he gives you a few. Hobi grimaces and reaches over to take the orange ones out of your palm. He knows you don’t like those. He replaces them with a few green ones.

"It’s fucking boring. I should get you guys like- a DS or something for Christmas.”

“Don’t tell Minnie or he’ll blow all his money on-“ You cringe at your words and Hobi flinches. Jungkook just chews on his candies, they smack against his teeth with a hard clinking sound.

There is still some of Jimin's blood under Hobi's fingernails. You see it when he reaches over to take your Skittles.

The next time Hobi moves to take your Skittles, you grab his hand and pull him to his feet. "Come on."

You lead Hoseok into the women's bathroom, underneath the curious eye of the nurses, all the stalls are empty so you pull him over to the counter.

“You’ve got some- stuff- under your nails- let me.” You rip a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and wet them. You clean Hobi’s hands diligently and he lets you.

He stays quiet, Hobi's been quiet for the last day or so. He hasn't done more than whisper a few quiet words to Jimin and stay close. He didn't say anything during your secret confession yesterday. Didn't ask a single question and the silence bleeds now as you scrub the clean-smelling soap against his skin. Your anxiety builds, and you scrub a little harder. His fingers remain limp in your touch.

“Say something- say anything okay? I need to know that you’re not-” not angry with me. That you don't hate me- that you still love-.

Hobi pulls you against his shoulder in a single clean movement. His wet hands hit your stomach when he grabs your hips. Your nose brushing his throat, his nose skimming your hairline.

“I’m trying not to take too much energy from Jimin- trying not to- be a mess- because he's the only one who deserves the packs attention. I'm not even sure if I am a mess about it. Sure that sucked but-" he sighs, "you and I are kinda like- uniquely able to handle things like this cuz of-" he doesn't need to finish his sentence. Hoseok's lips brush your ear, lips touching your skin, and- he pulls back, smiling softly. It's a tired smile but there it is- soft and special and just for you.

“You’re taking things, remarkably well considering the last time we…”

“The last time we had to deal with something like this?”

You hum, scrubbing a paper towel hard over the ends of Hobi's hands. The white paper goes orange-red with dried blood. "Give it time. There’s still a few weeks for me to go crazy this time.”

But this time, you have a feeling that it will be different. Although Hobi was there the last time- and played an instrumental role in making sure you didn't literally fall apart. It's different now. Right now, your hands tangle on the counter, holding on, even though you try to clean his hands of blood. Holding on is more important, neither of you tries and pull away. You don't have the energy for shyness.

What's more intimate? Sex or murder?

He huffs a small frustrated sound and stoops to rest his forehead against your shoulder, leaning almost all of his weight on you. You take it.

“Maybe this time I’ll take a crack at going crazy.” You laugh, stopping your brushing and just settling for holding him. Hips resting against the counter. The two of you rest, just for a moment.

Your nose against the side of his face where his undercut presses to your skin, spiky. "Still have that train ticket?" Hobi humms, taking a deep greedy breath of your scent to steady himself.

You're not expecting him to pull back and kiss you, but his lips are dry but warm, faintly chapped but yours are too. Pressing soft but demanding against yours. Hobi kisses you just as sweetly as last time and you grip the front of his jacket.

No sooner has he heaved you up on the counter, fingers hooking under your thighs to kiss you stronger- than is the door clanging open and a nurse comes barreling in.

"Ugh- uhm." She's a little stunned, but you're already hopping down, faces flushed and apologizing for the inconvenience.

You don’t throw the bloody paper towels in the garbage, but the toilet, flushing them once, then twice, to make sure that they’re down. Mumbling one last apology before you exit the bathroom together.

Hobi doesn't let go of your hand. You wonder if this is what loving him is going to be like; making out in places you shouldn't, special secret stolen glances when you keep holding hands even around the pack and keep stealing kisses.

You wonder if the kissing will stretch to the cars- to the late night drives, if he'll hold your hand like this around every hairpin turn. If Hobi's going to make you a make out playlist later, full of songs that make him think of you, songs that match the cadence and pitch of your heart. You wonder if loving him will be like this, stolen innocence, like finding sea glass on the beach. There and pretty for the taking if you only look for it.

Your heart feels all warm and tight with it, swaddled. Protected as Hobi tugs you back into Jimin's hospital room. You can't wait to find out.

The next few hours look like this; Namjoon sitting on the foot of the bed his hand on Jimin’s knee, feasting on hospital food. Jungkook giggles, and nearly throws himself across Jimin’s lap so that the alpha can put his hands through his hair. Looks like more takeout, living off of it because no one wants hospital food and you can't go home and cook. You refuse to leave right now.

It looks like Tae smiling for the first time In what feels like years but has logically been only a few hours. Rubbing a hand across her jaw and wincing when she feels the stubble.

Her wince quiets the sounds of the pack happy. And you look up from your plate.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, always stupidly attuned to her and her needs, always watching and waiting.

“I need to freaking shave and I just- I haven’t had the chance to.” Tae lets out a tired sigh, the kind of deep frustration that comes with things that you have no choice but to do.

You take her hand from her chair and tug her up. Because this- this source of angst can be fixed.

“Here- come on,” A shaving razor gets found for her, Namjoon goes to the surgical ward to get the right kind. Sharp and medical and disposable along with a tiny tube of shaving gel. You drag her chair into the bathroom and make her sit while you do it. Lathering up her cheeks and tipping her head back. The whole pack a cacophony in the other room. The shock of skittles and other candies falling onto the floor. Muted words then soft laughter.

You drag the shaving razor up her chin, over her chubby cheeks. Your gentle touch, the soft scrapping of her hair against the blade a gentle accompaniment to the sounds of the pack passing the time until Jimin wants to go to sleep. Jungkook's phone plays a tictok loud, "Bunny- headphones, Minnie's trying to rest" Yoongi reminds him.

Jimin is struggling not to fall asleep, shifting to one side of the hospital bed just to get a better vantage point to look into the bathroom at Tae. Jimin cranes his neck.

Tae's face twitches, and underneath the white froth you see her reddening cheeks. “Stop looking at me.”

Jimin grins from the hospital bed, “Can’t help it, love you.”

“Love you too Minnie” She choruses back, and the pack joins her.

that night, namjoon and yoongi push three hospital cots togeather around jimin's bed and the pack piles in, sweet bodies and kissed cheaks, whiped down with sanitary towels, you end up tucked between tae and hobi, your cheek pressed to her back.

the following morning it becomes impossible to ignore both how purely filthy the 8 of you are and the fact that Jimin's doctors won't let him check out until tomorrow (and even then he'll have days of bedrest and won't be able to use his arm until he gets his stitches out.) You haven't been home in two days, no one can remember if you even locked the front door with how crazy leaving was.

It’s hard to convince Tae to go with you and leave Jimin's side. But she's less resistant when Yoongi reminds her that Jimin needs new clothes to go home in since all of his bloodstained clothing was discarded as medical waste.

“Honestly we should get like- to go bags full of a change of clothes for all of us when like, JK has his seizures,” Maybe it’s just because you’ve done overnights twice in the last week at the hospital- but the idea doesn’t seem like a bad one.

Jin drives you, Hobi, and Tae home in silence; no one tells Tae any of the other secrets yet. Tired as she is, almost falling asleep in the car. Waking with a start when you turn onto your street.

It's a little shocking. When you get home to a cold and quiet house. Jimin's blood has dried up into dark waxy puddles, on the kitchen table and the floor. There are fingerprints from someone, rusty and red on the doorframe. It's stark to see the evidence. To see a bit of it on the butcher block countertop all the terror and the color leached out of it in the grey afternoon light.

Tae is so stumbly that Hobi has to grab her twice just to keep her from walking into walls when he gets her inside. Noodles immediately yowl has you feeling terribly guilty, he circles your and Hobi's ankles. But you push at Hoseok's hands when he stoops to pick him up.

"Take Tae upstairs and shower with her, will you? I'll be up in a second, just gonna feed him and get some stuff together." She's blinking and looking at the bloodstains, eyes already looking glassy with fresh tears.

You need a second, a second in quiet, a second alone just to steady yourself. Jin comes in, dragging in a mountain of mail from your box, "I've got them, come on pups, grooming time."

Jin pecks a kiss along your forehead, "Come up the second you finish?"

You nod, "Just want to get some food first too- hungry."

Jin nods and makes to follow Hobi and Tae but pauses on the stairs. he looks like he wants to say something to you. Eyes full of something unreadable and warm. Unspoken words hover.

If he had to choose anyone, I'm glad he chose you.

But before he can get it out Tae calls from upstairs. "Jinnie? Can you grab one of my comfy sets from the closet down there before you come up?"

You stand, solemn in the kitchen, listening to the sound of them on the creaky stairs, the sound of their quiet voices. The creek of the house as they walk around upstairs.

"Here you go baby," you say, giving Noodles an extra spoonful of food. You know you left enough for him in his bowl and that he didn't suffer too badly. But still, his purring chirping is music to your ears. You pet over his back, his fluffy tail.

He's Still chubby, still good. You aren't too bad of a pet owner then.

There's the gun still there, sitting just to the left of Jimin's blood splatter on the seat of one of the dining room chairs. You're at eye level with it from where you crouch down to pet Noodle. It's the same one that you pulled out from under the bed when you found out he'd been shot. You should probably take it with you when you go back to the hospital, just to be sure.

"You got any secrets for me nu? Are you the long-lost prince of some cat kingdom?" Noodle chops down in response.

You go to the hallway closet to get a duffel bag, where the pack stores their larger bags and luggage.

"Hey!" Hobi calls from upstairs, muffled through the roar of the shower. There isn't much other noise in the house. The birds outside aren't chirping, probably because you haven't been home enough to fill their birdfeeder.

Probably.

"Yeah!?" You call back up, upending the duffel bag and sending a bit of loose change, some quarters and pennies scattering onto the floor. you stoop down to pick up a few of them, tossing them back into the closet with a metallic clang (to be dealt with later.)

“Can you grab Tae's phone charger? It should be by her computer.”

"Got it!" Tae's library room is much the same as it was when you left it, her computer is closed. The walls are green, the window dusty. You find it easily, the cord long and white, tangling in your hands.

You're not sure why your hair raises on the back of your neck.

Noodle stops his chomping.

The push of cold air startles you- the change of pressure in the house like a door being opened- the front door. The windows in the library room are leaky. You're used to being in here and feeling it, used to feeling that same draft every time one of your pack mates comes home.

You freeze where you stand.

The metallic jingle of the doorknob is so much softer than usual. You could almost convince yourself that you don't hear it, that you've made it up.

And then you hear it- Noodle's low hiss.

Call it a habit or a trained behavior but you still make your footsteps quiet everywhere you go. A thing learned from your years with Geumjae when you needed to be quiet to be safe and needed to make yourself as unobtrusive as possible to avoid pain. A vestigial survival instinct.

It serves you well now because no one in the house hears as you slide from Tae’s library through the pantry area, you don’t call out Tae’s name again, or Hobi’s. You don’t know exactly why you don’t.

Your house is an old house and you know every inch of it. You know this house that Yoongi’s built for you from the top of the eves to the shutters, from the windows up top to the ground floor and dusty half-finished basement. You know every creaky floorboard and which steps are the ones you skip when someone’s sleeping upstairs because it always sounds so high-pitched and it wakes Jimin up, light sleeper that he is.

You hear the subtle creek of the floorboards now, the small slide of heavy boots across the wide floorboards. A creak. Someone is about to ascend the stairs, up to where you can still hear Hobi and Tae talking softly. The shower off, they're probably just getting dressed.

Softly, you hear the sound of a heavy boot hitting something metallic, one of the pennies you dropped earlier and missed.

Jin might still be in the other room, that's what you tell yourself. You're just being paranoid. stupid paranoia you almost want to laugh. you're just jumpy from the last few days- that's all. Funny of you, to make it up.

The danger is all in your head.

Only it's not,

Because the first thing you see when you peek around the corner is the pitch-dark barrel of an extended gun.

~-~

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Notes:

There are some parts in this chapter, some facts about yoongi's family that haven't been touched on since the very begining chapters or jimin's secret chapters and i repeated them just so that people get a bit of a refresher but some of it feels a little monotonous to write! i hope it's not too hard to get through.

in an ideal world i would have given myself an additional week to edit this chapter, it's not the most edited and because of that i feel like it got repetitive or arduous in places.

i'm also realizing that this is like, 9th longest bts fanfic in existence. look it up on ao3 if you don't believe me. i think giving people a refresher of the begining is fair. In terms of the harry potter series (it really is a shame that no one knows who wrote it) we're just into the 6th book in terms of word count if you need that for context.

on that same vein. moonbyuls brief rant that is implied to be transphobic and sorta is- is not a reflection of my views she's just...you know...the villain?

this chapter also literally went from 8k to 14k during editing what the fuck. i stayed up till 2 am to get this done two nights in a row. i have this little nagging voice in my head that says its stupid to care about something like this but i can't help it- i love this story so much. even if this isn't the best chapter.

when the m/c has her freak out in the room where she almost passes out- that is called adrenal fatigue and it's soemthing that i struggle with as someone with ptsd. you know the feeling when you go on a rollercoaster when all of your adrenaline unloads it's self all at once? if i go through that my body goes a little haywire like- dizziness, exhaustion, dysregulation, memory fog, all of it. i still like rollercoasters though so as long i like rest and drink alot of water it doesn't affect me too much.

it's really important that you notice that no one says moonbyuls name during the moment when they're talking about their secrets between namjoon, jin, hobi, yoongi, and the m/c. i'm not telling you why just PAY ATTENTION.

Every time i think about the proverb "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." i think of the m/c and how thats her storyline with the family like- she really was like "either you love me or i'll kill all of you" and i think thats cute <3

In terms of why the last don and Beta killed Yoongi's parents- i think it's because yoongi's mother found out that she was pregnant with another beta and the don and beta didn't want to deal with such a divided power. They already had yoongi under their thumb and another possible successor would have over complicated things. Yoongi would have had a little sister, i don't know if he'll ever know thats why his parents where killed- he was between the ages of 16 and 18 when they died.

although this chapter was the least edited in terms of the most recent chapters- i will also say that there are two moments in this chapter- where i 'fuck up' and write things a certian way but heres the thing- they're not fuck ups and they're actually hints so! lets see if anyone notices!!

i'm gonna be honest with you guys the part where it goes "it stays there" left me fucking winded i can't even think about it too hard or else i get misty eyed.

i am catheterizing a lot of emotions writing this i am sorry it took so long to write, there is a reason why this update took a month and thats cuz yeah- my grandmother is dying. She's got cancer and She's 91 so they're not treating it. death is gonna be a /theme/ for me over the next couple of chapters, don't be surprised if I go off on a tangent or if it takes me a second between updates.

i wish i could write the m/c just a little dumber you know?

i wrote this series with the intent to write about people in realistic relationships- showing the moments they make mistakes, the moments they react too much or not enough, the way that trauma affects us all and how we handle it and love. it feels very full circle to have this chapter come out like- this is what bily is about you know? even though they'res alot of dialouge in it.

oh~ shits about to go down~

Mini-Playlist

Dominic fike- acai bowl (kinda hobi and the m/c's song for this chapter, they're going through it)

Hozier- Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) (this is literally bily's unoffical theme song at this point)

JID, Kenny Mason - Dance now (the beginning when moonbyul setting the industrial park on fire)

Frank sinatra- thats life (the song i picture playing at the end when tae and jimin are talking out their issues).

[ratherbefangirling]

Mi casa (2)

Genre: Omegaverse AU, Angst

Pairing: Ot7 x alpha!reader

Summary : Namjoon wonders if letting you in thier home will destroy it? He hopes it won't but if it does. He will start from scratch again because for his soulmate there isn't anything he wouldn't do.

Warnings: past mentioned abuse.

PREVIOUS | NEXT

Yoongi sits in his office working. After his comment about you possibly being Namjoon's mate. Namjoon sweared at him and left. Before Yoongi would have made a fuss about it but now he knew better, understood the more nuanced sides of his packmates including Namjoon.

Yoongi and Namjoon had both gone to the same middle school and high school and hated each other to the core. Or Yoongi hated that Namjoon was more alpha like and smart, always at the top of his academics. Namjoon on the other hand was jealous of Yoongi's more omega like features and his ability to not care about anyone's opinion.

They had gone to different colleges. They had met once again when Jin and Namjoon's pack had decided to introduce them. They surprisingly melded well. At that time Yoongi and Jin had already decided to form a pack and Jungkook and Namjoon were roommates.

Yoongi had a rough time accepting Namjoon as his future pack. The first time they met again had been, for a lack of better word disastrous.

Still even though they had their differences most of the time they could put aside thier petty personal grudges for the sake of the pack.

Yoongi still remembers the day they had come to the conclusion to put the people they cared for before thier frankly childish behaviour.

Working for the shelter was a tough job. In a day Yoongi sees more terrible things than most people do in months. As much as he finds his job fulfilling it makes him tired and angry and it's made worse for having to show up at a job where everyone else is also tired and angry and there's nothing he could do about it (not to mention dealing with officials, lawyers and policemen most of whom are entitled and haven't suffered a day in thier lives.)

Despite the majority of their time together being spent in arguments both firm in their beliefs (which is why they often seek each other out) he actually hates fighting with Namjoon.

In the pack he is usually agreeable with Jin and Hobi, Jungkook is his baby, Taehyung and him may have different world views but usually the younger one is very doting taking full advantage of calming Yoongi after riling him up because they are pack. He does bicker a lot with Jimin but its nothing like how Namjoon and him fight.

Thus only Hoseok or sometimes Jin who ends up using his alpha command can interfere. The alpha command (which Jin uses sparingly and in absolute necessity) is reserved between the pack and only works towards the pack. It has no effect in ruts and only the pack alpha's command has any noticeable effect.

Just like the other times the matter of concern hadn't been huge. Towards the end of the winter Jungkook had fallen sick. Incidentally everyone was busy. Hobi and Jin had to leave to Hoseoks close cousins wedding. Jimin and Taehyung had to give finals of their masters degree. Which left Yoongi and Namjoon.

That day Namjoon had an important meeting for the project he had spent months working for.

"I'm leaving hyung." Namjoon said picking up a bun to have in transit.

"Namjoon. Stay and help. You know I have to start with a lot of work.

"Hyung can't it wait. I have an important meeting." While the statement wasn't meant to be dismissive but Yoongi felt anger bubble through.

"What do you mean can't it wait"

"I said what I said hyung." Namjoon says irritated. "I have an important presentation I can't miss."

"Are you trying to say my work isn't important."

"I didn't say that hyung but you work in a shelter when I have an actual job." Later Namjoon would feel immense guilt because of his careless words. But then he was one tracked towards his job. Not ready to back down at all. Corporate wasn't kind to omegas.

"I'll stay back." Hoseok says.

"But your cousins wedding." Namjoon mumbles.

"Taehyung and Jimin will be done early because of their exams." Jin says.

"Yes we can come early don't worry.." Jimin says.

And that was that. Namjoon and Yoongi resolve their fight and treat the pack to a nice dinner. Making a pact to be more careful in the future.

//

It might be a little irresponsible but Namjoon needs to think and he hopes Yoongi won't tell on him to Jin.

But it's not very simple for Namjoon to decide.

Namjoon has a soulmate. A real soulmate.

Namjoon remembers vividly being alone. So alone that it ate him inside. For a long long time he felt unlovable. Unwanted. Being part of the pack helped alleviate some of those feelings. But being part of a seven member pack sometimes someone felt like a seventh wheel. And he would rather it be him than anyone else.

But having a soulmate. His soulmate meant nobody would be lonely. He would have his own person. He didn't doubt the packs love no but he was ultimately selfish and he wanted something that was entirely his. Someone that was his.

His alpha.

He got butterflies just thinking of it.

He knew it wasn't going to be easy. The pack may not approve but he wasn't going to abandon her. No matter what. You were his. Only his. His own Alpha.

And if he had to fight the world or his own pack to have you. Namjoon realised he would. Because you needed him too. He would take care of his alpha. He would make everything okay again.

The atmosphere in the house is tense, Jungkook notes. Yoongi is irritable and in one of those moods where he needs to be left alone. Namjoon has gone camping with his friend Jackson. Jin seems antsy and Hoseok looks like he's waiting for a bomb to drop. Jimin and Taehyung are as clueless as him.

The Maknae line decided to have a sleepover trip. A staycation at a nearby hotel. Its partially to give the hyungs space and and partially because its been a while since the three hung out together.

They spend part of the night gaming into the late hours of the morning together. As the morning sun rises Taehyung nudges Jungkook.

"Go get food. Junkookie.."

"I dont want to you get it if you're hungry" Jungkook says still busy in his game.

"Rock paper Scissors the Looser gets the food."

"Fine." Jungkook agrees. He ends up loosing against Taehyung who hi fives Jimin happily and they continue with the game.

Jungkook stretches. His muscles aching since he's been in the same position for so long. He grabs the car key and drives to a convenience store nearby.

He spots Namjoon and Jackson talking and goes near them.

"Are you sure Namjoon? Don't you think you're taking it way to far?" Jackson asks Namjoon.

"If I have to leave the pack I will."

Jungkook's mind blanks. Everything seems immaterial. He leaves the cart He was holding to run back to the hotel. This couldn't be happening.

When Jungkook more or less storms in both Taehyung and Jimin look up.

"What's wrong? Where's the food?" Taehyung asks.

"Namjoon's going to leave the pack."

"What the hell Jungkook?" Taehyung swears.

"What? Tell me clearly what happened?"

"He was talking to Jackson. He said he'll leave the pack."

"But that makes no sense." Jimin said.

"I'm not lying I swear." Jungkook says.

"Is that's why the hyungs are so on edge." Taehyung pointed.

Silence fell.

"Surely they wouldn't hide things from us right?" Jungkook asked tearing up at the thought of their family breaking.

"Maybe it's a misunderstanding and it'll sort itself." Jimin tried to reassure the maknae and hugged him.

"You must have misheard it. There's no reason to leave the pack." Taehyung reiterates.

"But I heard him"

"You must have heard wrong." Taehyung says anger evident in voice.

"Taehyungie calm down. You too kookie. It could easily be a misunderstanding like taetae said there's no reason to leave the pack" Jimin says.

Jungkook nods sniffing. The thought of Namjoon leaving scares him to death. He wonders if Namjoon feels unloved or unwanted. He decides he's going change Namjoon's mind.

"Let's just order room service OK?" Jimin says

Taehyung nods and calls. Making sure to order extra icecream because he thinks they'll need it.

So yeah that's it. It's been a while since I wrote anything. I just can't seem to these days. I miss the boys terribly. I hope you liked this. Mostly I'll try to finish this in the next part. I felt I had to end this part because it would go way too long though it ended up in the shorter side and feels slightly unbalanced to me. Tell me what you think.

Taglist : @kaceypdf ; @ghostlyworld ; @thelilbutifulthings ; @hijabae2019

Permanent taglist : @exfolitae ; @cryingpages ; @outrobtsnd

[oddinary4bts]

Emotions of the Soul (teaser) | knj

☆summary: when Namjoon reappears in your life after thirteen years of absence, you find yourself unsure of what he means to you, and of what you mean to him. Anxiety reigns over you, but will it be enough to drag you away from Kim Namjoon?

☆pairing: Kim Namjoon x artist female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: childhood/teenage lovers to strangers to lovers, idol!au, smut, angst, fluff

☆warnings: alcohol, anxiety, a reference to the reader in Now We Reign if you guys can catch it, cursing, stupid teenage threats of m*rder, an appearance from the reader in Forever, pet names, paparazzi, imposter syndrome, an ugly teenage breakup flashback, explicit content: mentions of blindfolding, switch!Namjoon, big dick!Namjoon, switch!reader, oral sex (male and female receiving), jerking off, dirty talking?, balls fondling, face riding, breast play, fingering, protected sex and unprotected sex, praise, hair pulling (ish), ass slapping, tummy bulge (? lmao), choking, cumshot, cum eating, he calls her a slut in the heat of the action like once I think?

☆word count: 36.3k

☆a/n: I know almost everyone wants Sinful Lust first but it's not done yet whereas this baby is finally readyyy so here it is, I hope you'll enjoy it <3 As per always, thank you to @moonleeai for her incredible work as my beta reader! You’re the best <3

☆Read the other installments in the Life Goes On series here!

☆☆☆☆☆

“Kim Namjoon,” you repeated, tasting his name in your mouth for the first time since that ugly October night when you had told him you hated him more than anything in this world, and he had left without even a single look back.

You had never spoken after that. You had never talked about him anymore either, not to your friends or family. And when you had begged your parents to change school, they had caved in, letting you attend the same school as your cousin Miyoung.

Miyoung had been your closest friend since then, until Sooah had come into your life to form a trio with you and your cousin when you had attended college in arts.

“Yeah, he’s created quite a commotion outside,” Sooah commented, and you remembered the mop of black hair.

Could that have been Namjoon?

“And when he RSVP’ed, he mentioned that he would like to have a talk with the artist, so I hope you’re ready,” Sooah added, teasingly.

You glared at her through your mask. “You couldn’t have told me before?”

“No.”

You rolled your eyes once more, not so playfully this time, taking another sip of your drink. “He’s Kim Namjoon, you could have let a girl prepare.”

At that, Sooah laughed out loud. “Got a little crush?”

“Quite the opposite,” you said through gritted teeth.

You hated Kim Namjoon.

☆☆☆☆☆

Read the complete fic here!

[livingformintyoongi1]

Four Kingdoms Masterlist

Panic reigns in Korea when one of its four kingdoms, Silla, rebels against its kings, capturing and hanging the king and his queen. The sole survivor of the Shin royal family, who was never introduced to society because of her useless power, vows to take revenge for the death of her parents, setting her sights on killing the second of the Kim sons, Taehyung, the prince of shadows.

-> Fantasy!Au, Prince!Taehyung, Princess!Reader.

-> Angst, Fluff, e2l.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Heir!Seokjin, Princess!Reader, Reader is Jimin's sister.

-> UTS Prequel, Fluff, Angst, childhood friends to lovers.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Prince!Jimin, Duchess!Reader, Reader is Taehyung's cousin.

-> Fluff, s2l, slight smut.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Prince!Yoongi, Criminal!Reader, Reader is Hoseok's sister.

-> Slight angst, Fluff, Angst, Smut.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Criminal!Hoseok, Princess!Reader, Reader is Taehyung's sister.

-> Angst, Forbidden love, Fluff, Love at first sight.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Knight!Jungkook, Bodyguard!Reader.

-> UTS extra, Angst, Unrequited love, Fluff, slight smut.

-> Read here.

-> Fantasy!Au, Royal Advisor!Namjoon, Housekeeper!Reader.

-> UTS extra, Angst, Fluff, Smut.

-> Read here.

[luvismenu]

Promise You - JJK ,, series index 〃 about taglist 〃

00 intro —

permanent taglist: @wnteraezz @lelewright1234 @letmekookk

‷if you wanna be a part of the series taglist, send me an ASK with the series title 🥀‴

yn and jungkook (met in highschool)

yn, namjoon, jin (they're cousins)

jungkook, tae, jimin (met in uni)

jungkook, hoseok, yoongi (childhood friends)

gcs —

main gc with everyone

yn, namjoon, jin, tae (private gc)

jungkook, jimin, tae, hoseok, yoongi (private gc)

a/n: i am so excited for this!!! pls tell me you are too 😞���🏻

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

Dark Moon | Chapter Six

Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader

Word Count | 3,2k

Warnings | +18, yandere themes, blood, unusual and dangerous use of a knife, revenge, violence, explicit and dirty language, this is not for minors.

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.

And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.

That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.

He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! In this chapter there will be a slight change for MC, I hope you will enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think! 💜

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal, @ajkwww, @ungodlyjoon, @hecateslittlewitchling, @namjoonsbuspass, @darkuni63, @xicanacorpse

Taglist is open!

Chapter List - Previous - Next

"How is she?"

The dark-haired boy lifted his eyes to Seokjin, who was staring at him with his hands in his pockets, still dressed smartly and wearing perfectly polished-toed shoes.

"They stitched her up and now they're giving her an IV, she's lost too much blood," was Jimin's laconic reply, who was leaning against the wall of the waiting room pondering what to do.

They were in a private clinic, there was no danger of awkward questions; it belonged to a cousin of Seokjin's. That was where they went when they urgently needed a doctor.

"And what are you going to do with Ester?"

"I was just about to talk about her," he broke off from the wall, "She's one of your girls, but she disrespected me, Jin."

"You don't want to kill her," Seokjin said, although it was clear from his tone that he wasn't all that interested, but Jimin shook his head and the man relaxed his shoulders; every woman present at the Dark Moon was a big, juicy source of income.

"I want to teach her what respect is for me and my orders, I won't allow just any whore to challenge a decision of mine," he said harshly.

"You're right, besides it might stir up the others to do the same in case there are further jealousies" he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, irritated, "All right, instruct her" he gave his consent and made to turn on his heels and leave, but Jimin blocked him.

"I'll take her."

"How?" he had heard perfectly well, but he wanted to push him to be more detailed.

"You made me a proposition and this is my last answer, I'll take her."

Because the Dark Moon was a den of snakes and she would only be safe in his arms.

"I'll prepare the bow, then," smiled Jin, Jimin snorted, smiling faintly.

Then she saw him leave and his smile faded, he had a score to settle with Ester and it didn't take him long to return to the Dark Moon, Namjoon greeted him with a look of understanding.

"Hanon locked her in her room, all she did was scream and throw objects everywhere."

Just the thought of such a scene irritated the man.

"I'll give her a good reason to scream if she cares that much," he hissed, Namjoon nodded, knowing his friend, he would not go lightly.

When he entered the room that had seen better days, Jimin found a mad woman inside, messy locks fell across her red, furious face, and broken and bruised objects were scattered everywhere, victims of Ester's rage.

The woman stopped only at the sight of the man stuck on the threshold watching her; Jimin's expression was indecipherable, but his eyes were harder than ice, a detail that made the young woman's lips tighten.

Jimin took two steps inside the bedroom, closing the door behind him, turned the key already in the lock slowly, and a boulder dropped on her stomach.

"Jimin..." the nasal voice because of the hysterical crying and the punch she had received sounded whiny, which did not faze him.

"Ester" dropped the key into one of his pockets and gave it his undivided attention, "Tell me, Ester.... That stupid scene, what do you think it would have led to?"

The girl swallowed, suddenly frozen.

"I asked you nicely to take care of her, to explain things to her," continued Jimin calmly, "And instead you send her to the hospital," he chuckled without amusement.

Ester did not know what to say, she felt only cruel satisfaction in knowing that Y/N's condition was so critical as to require qualified medical attention.

The bitch had to be punished, she thought.

"How do you explain this?"

"I'm yours," asserted the woman simply, "You shouldn't have let her take my place, who is she? You don't even know her, she doesn't know what you like in bed, and even if she did she wouldn't be able to satisfy you, you've been looking for me all along," she growled through tears, Jimin raised an amused eyebrow.

Perhaps Y/N did not know what he liked in bed, but for what little he had had her, she had managed to give him an unforgettable blowjob; Ester's jealousy amused and irritated him at the same time.

Ester could claim to be his, but he certainly did not belong to her.

"I don't know how true that can be," the man crossed his legs, "You say you're mine, but I've seen you satisfy many other men before and after me...besides, who says I've only ever sought you out?" he asked with a smile, remembering vividly that he had had sex with countless other women. The fact that at the Dark Moon he had chosen Ester as his favorite had been totally random; everyone had chosen a girl and he had done the same, choosing one of the prettiest and best. He didn't think that this would make her head swell.

"You've come back to me now," remarked the woman, giving no sign of having listened to a single word Jimin said, blatantly pretending.

The boy remained impassive a few moments before opening his legs slightly.

"Come here," he patted his own powerful thigh wrapped in tight dark pants, Ester remained interdicted and guarded, making the boy snort, "Don't make me repeat myself," he hissed.

The woman took a few steps in his direction, when she saw that Jimin had no strange intentions she became braver, even going so far as to sit on the man who waited patiently for her.

"Lively little girl," he smiled sweetly, arranging a few strands behind her ear, Ester's heart beat inexorably, enchanted by the heavenly vision that was Jimin, "Repeat to me what you told me at first."

As if bewitched by the boy's charm, Ester repeated his words once more, "I am yours..." Jimin nodded, leaving a kiss on the woman's neck.

"Again, Ester," the woman threw her head back under the tender strokes of Jimin's tongue along her skin, inside she exulted in lust.

"I'm yours...!" she moaned when her intimacy came in contact with Jimin's cock, she felt the tip press against her core through the tight fabric, Ester shuddered at the idea of being able to enjoy that rapturous hardness once more and vibrated excitedly when Jimin pushed her against the bed, straddling her body.

"Say it again and again..." he whispered hoarsely, touching the intimacy of the young woman, who arched her back at the contact, thrusting her hips against his hand, which crossed the barrier of her dress to tickle her clit directly.

Long moans dispersed through the room, Ester not holding back from letting everyone know what was going on in there, as if to prove that Jimin never intended to punish her, that she would always remain his favorite.

That is, until Jimin's fingers were replaced by something icy, smooth, and hard that penetrated her slit.

She had not even noticed that the boy had retrieved the object, nor did she know where he got it from or what it was.

Maybe it was-

"Stop moving like a bitch in heat," Jimin ordered her, Ester frowned, she was about to cum, why would she stop-, "Stop if you don't want me to slice you, Ester" was his final warning.

"Jimin, what-"

"Go ahead, say again that you're mine-until you yourself realize the bullshit you keep babbling," he hissed, scrutinizing her cruelly with a derisive smile, his hand made the object penetrate deeper, which caused Ester to squint.

Jimin's words confused her-what game was he playing? And most importantly...

"What do you have in your hand, Jimin?"

"Are you referring to the thing you're sucking up so easily? Hmm... in my opinion you can get there," he said vaguely getting no answer, he huffed, "Come on... you always asked me to give it to you, which is impossible given the rules here at the Dark Moon," he chuckled, holding the base tightly.

At those words Ester blanched.

The switchblade that Jimin always carried with him.

"Jimin... this is a joke, isn't it?" she asked tensely, the boy replied by pressing the knife handle harder against her walls, just a simple gesture and the blade would snap like a spring.

"A whore without a pussy would be worthless," reasoned Jimin, there Ester had confirmation that the man was serious, she began to tremble and break into a cold sweat.

If before pleasure was the only thing she felt, now terror had encompassed every fiber of her body.

"Jimin, please..." she cried tremblingly, but the boy shushed her.

"Your arrogance has always disgusted me, Ester.... but your disobedience is the worst thing about you, I've always let it go because it was pleasurable to fuck you, but now I can't see what attracted me to you anymore," he spat, "Do you want it fast or slow?" he asked mellifluously, smiling fearfully.

Ester quickly denied with her head, she was a lake of tears and unrestrained sobs, "Don't! I-I won't give you any more trouble, I swear, I swear!" she screamed breathlessly, unable to move her body because of the terror she was feeling.

The man after a few moments moved away, withdrawing his weapon accordingly, Ester relaxed slightly before she felt a hissing sound cleave the air and something liquid dripping from one of her cheeks.

Wide-eyed she brought a trembling hand to her face and with a horrible foreboding saw blood, she was breathless when she realized what had happened.

Jimin watched uninterestedly as the woman's despair, her face scarred, ran to the mirror to ascertain her condition, he saw her collapse on her own knees amid sobs and cries, the only thing he felt was annoyance at that scene which he said was ridiculous. She had touched Y/N's face, he had done the same to hers. Permanently.

"You'll be able to satisfy clients with perversions like that, too, aren't you happy?"

He walked out of the room as he entered it, meeting Namjoon's gaze.

"I hope you haven’t damaged it too much."

Jimin shrugged, "Clients care about what's between her legs, she was unsightly even before," Namjoon rolled his eyes.

"I'll go get someone to treat her, she's screaming more than before," he hissed holding the bridge of his nose tightly between two fingers.

Jimin patted him twice before heading out of the brothel, ready to finish the job he had started.

The man cast a glance at the woman sitting in the back seat, she was still dazed from the medication that prevented her from feeling pain, she stood staring out of the tinted windows.

A large medical patch covered her entire cheek, just as a bandage wrapped her head tightly and securely.

At her side Taehyung made sure she did not attempt any strange moves; the boy was dressed in casual clothes unlike the young woman who was wearing only pajamas and slippers.

It was nighttime, Jimin had made sure to pick her up in a safe time frame for everyone so as not to raise even the slightest doubt.

"Where do you think I'm taking you?" broke the silence Jimin, Y/N barely lifted her head.

"To the Dark Moon, that's where I belong, isn't it?" she replied apathetically, a slow smile lapped the young male's face.

"You got it wrong this time, honey," he said, leaving her interjected.

"What do you mean?"

"I found a better use for you," he chuckled, almost breathing in the fear of the poor girl, who upset cast a glance at Taehyung.

She hadn't known him long, but in the clinic when she was surrounded by doctors, he had given her the impression that he was a calm and lucid man, or so she thought, although she remembered perfectly well that if Jimin wasn't there, then Taehyung himself would be there to give her that "checkup."

"Calm down, kitten, if he wanted to hurt you, he would have already done so, right?" he affirmed, instantly procuring a glare of lightning from Y/N.

"He did hurt me," she huffed inviperately, squeezing herself into her seat.

Jimin looked at her from the mirror, studying the woman's emaciated contours, her lips tightened into a line were a sign of her strange inner turmoil.

He did not want to get to the point of hurting her again, yet the way he had been raised left no room for pity, if she tried any bullshit he would pay for every single consequence.

After a few kilometers the car stopped in front of a seemingly very luxurious apartment establishment, a garage opened up for them and Jimin wasted no time in getting in, Taehyung on the other hand did not lose sight of every corner of the street, although from the angelic faces they remained gentlemen of the underworld. Seokjin as already specified had his hands full just about everywhere, dealing not only in his brothel - a source of more than excellent income - but also in dealing and often murder for hire.

There were not exactly a few of their enemies.

Y/N squared off with a bad feeling the other cars present-where had they taken her?

"Get her out," ordered Jimin, Taehyung opened his door first and going around he allowed the woman to get out as well, holding her firmly by the arm, not only to prevent her from escaping - she had nowhere to go given the enclosed space they were in - but also because he was unsure of her strength, the young woman in fact was unsteady on her own legs.

Out of the corner of his eye Jimin noticed that Taehyung was about to take her in his arms, which inexplicably irritated him. He knew that his friend had no interest in the girl, but that did not stop him from harshly jerking the other away from her to take her personally in his arms stunning not only Taehyung, but Y/N herself, who tried to shrink as much as possible under his dark gaze. The man's grip was firm, but she felt herself falling into the arms of her tormentor.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked with a knot in her throat; Jimin did not answer immediately.

First he climbed stairs that led them to a larger door, from that opened a long, dimly lit hallway and then more stairs to climb until they reached a landing with an elevator.

When they entered and the doors closed he finally spoke.

"You are in your new home."

A thousand questions poured into Y/N's head, confused and agitated. Had she been sold? So, is this how it was going to end?

She had basically ended up like her sister, she thought sorrowfully, regretting several times the absurd idea of looking for a similar job to support herself.

"More to the point, you are in your new home, yours and Jimin's," Taehyung chuckled, as the elevator doors opened to show a series of numbered, digitally locking doors.

"What?"

Taehyung typed a code on the keypad on the door with the number 7, which opened with a soft, almost imperceptible click.

The first thing the woman saw was a spacious, modern living room with an L-shaped sofa of soft dark leather that drew all the attention to itself.

"What does that mean?"

Jimin made a sign to his friend, who understood instantly. He wanted to be alone with Y/N.

"I'm off, see you soon kitten," he greeted her before disappearing, carefully closing the door behind him, the resulting sound no longer sounding so soft to Y/N's ears.

She felt she was being teased.

"What does that mean?" she repeated more somberly, Jimin took a seat on the sofa, crossing his legs in a pose that screamed elegance and power.

"I bought you, that's what it means."

It was a lie, Seokjin had made a gift of her to Jimin, but the latter with that statement tried to give himself an intimidating aura, buying a person after all was not something everyday, one had to be a powerful and influential person to do so, the man wanted her to feel fear in his presence.

She was stunned, "Why would you do that? You hate me, you find me useless! Is this another way to torture me?" she hissed with tears in her eyes, "You made me lose everything, what more do you want from me?"

She was broken.

She had run away from a monster to save her sister, but she had lost her and had been humiliated in more ways than one by Jimin and his former lover, if she could have ended it to avoid more suffering she would have taken the chance.

"I don't hate you, silly," sighed Jimin as he took off his jacket, "You irritate me with your stubborn attitude, but I don't hate you...it's other people I reserve my poison for, it's precious, it's the fuel that gets me going, my beautiful girl" he got up from his seat to go pour himself a few shots of vanilla rum, the crystal mini bar displayed his small but expensive collection of drinks, they were mostly classic brands, Jimin must have been an experienced drinker.

He sipped slowly from his glass, the plump, glossy lips matched perfectly with the transparent rim, soaking up the amber liquid, the piercing tapped lightly against the crystalline surface. Y/N imagined the sinful taste they had, wondered why she had not met him in his angel form, why she was given the devil, after the hell she had already been accustomed to.

"And then..." he continued, "I wouldn't let you stay at the Dark Moon a minute longer, I've already told you that but maybe it's better to refresh your memory," he murmured as he approached, the girl took small steps back, nothing compared to the male's two strides, "I won't let any other man get his hands on you, I want you and consequently you belong to me," he said casting a languid glance at the woman's lips.

"And what will you do in case you get tired of me?" she provoked him.

Jimin's eyes darkened, "What should I do with a stupid little girl like you?" he asked, not answering her question.

Neither of them would have liked the answer.

He took a lock of her soft hair in his fingers, bringing it to his nose he inhaled its light fragrance, the hospital had turned the girl off. He decided to leave her alone for the time being, she needed to recover, and from her thin, depressed appearance he guessed it would take quite some time.

"Here is a room with a bathroom for you, you will also find clean clothes, you may go," he turned away from her, who resumed breathing normally. Jimin was lethal and she feared it was not for one simple reason.

It may have sounded absurd, but no matter how much her instincts screamed at her to escape from the clutches of that monster, a much darker part of her could not stop pointing out its bewitching and sinful aspect.

Hers was a desire that had to be kept silent and hidden inside the closet because it was shameful and sick.

[bbangtans]

searching & finding | knj | oneshot teaser

⋆☀︎｡ Summary: Wake up, go to work, go home, cook dinner, rinse, and repeat: that was your life had come to post-grad. Once a young woman with larger-than-life aspirations, you’ve been downtrodden by the world's harsh realities. Now, after taking out all your savings and having only one large suitcase in tow, you find yourself in an idyllic seaside town to figure out what’s next for you. Luckily, the bookshop owned by the town’s beloved Kim Namjoon will always be a place of solace for you no matter how sudden the seasonal showers are.

pairing: namjoon x f!reader genre: non-idol au, fluff, romance, strangers to friends to lovers, book cafe owner genius namjoon is saurrrrr dreamy bro, reader just wants to find inner peace, yoongi is just the cool cousin there for the ride lmao, and jungkook is namjoon’s cute cafe assistant hehehehe rating/warnings: PG-15 | language, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex a/n: kim namjoon is my beacon of light through a storm. this is for anyone feeling a lil lost, sending you the warmest hug ever 🫂 and inspired by summer strike – that drama will always have a place in my heart, and what you are looking for is in the library – a hopeful, meditative read i highly rec! word count: ~10k will be posted on Sunday, April 21st at 10PM PST! <3 EDIT: post date moved to Sunday, April 27th!

“So, what brings you here to Pohang?” A tall, dimpled man approached your table as he set down the iced americano you ordered in front of you. He tucked his small serving tray under his arm as he eyed the stack of manga that you had, ready to indulge in a day of catching up on Haikyuu. You were the only customer in the establishment as it was late afternoon so that meant the kids were in school while the adults were busy at work. The soft sunlight filtered through the sheer white curtains of the front window, giving the book cafe a yellowish hue. The end of another day was near. 

You thanked him as you tried to think of an answer. “Uh… I’m visiting my cousin, Yoongi, for the summer. Taking a break from Seoul after some things happened and just figuring out… life, I guess.” 

Internally, you wanted to scream because you felt like you were oversharing.

He gave a deep, thoughtful hum to your response. “Well, I think you’ve come to the right place. This place, although small compared to Seoul, has a lot to offer. And I’m Namjoon, by the way.”

You gladly gave your name as well and Namjoon repeated it to himself as though tasting how your name felt on his lips. You couldn’t help but feel your face flush slightly, Namjoon was definitely attractive. From his towering, defined build to honey-like, sun-kissed skin and topped off with dimples that punctuated a bright smile, he was a sight to behold for sure. “Thanks, I’m looking forward to seeing more of it as I figure things out.”

“Yeah,” he excitedly responded. “And I guess I’ll be seeing more of you around. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for out here.” 

“Same here.”

Your small smile matched his.