#could never really get into the fandom because it's literally allllllll this shit in the tag even for the emotionally heavy episodes

[slaapkat]

what will it take for the 9-1-1 tag to be usable again

[hulahoopingholt]

Hi, this is a weird message but I'm just wondering if you're okay? I have followed you on this blog and your main one for a long time, and I used to check in on your blog almost every day. I noticed that you haven't posted in several months! Anyway, I hope your life is going well and that you're staying safe in these strange times. This isn't meant to pressure you into returning to tumblr, I just get worried sometimes when people disappear!

HI HELLO TO YOU AND TO EVERYONE ELSE I ABANDONED THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

So the tl;dr is that I’m doing well, there’s just been a LOT going on and tumblr just kind of got lost in the crossfire.

The longer version is I just had a LOT of stuff happen all at once and I just didn’t have the time/energy for the tumblr life. Basically........

I have a boyfriend now!!! He was my very first Tinder date on the very first day of the year and somehow it all just worked really well and I am SUPER happy. It is a little bit trickier because he has a daughter so that’s just a new layer I’ve never dealt with in any kind of relationship but it’s all very exciting and seriously he is a gem of a human.

Work got really busy. Like.........just REALLY busy it was insane. But it was normal.

Then a global pandemic hit OOOPS.

And I work in an industry that was heavily impacted by coronavirus, and my role in particular meant I was basically working........allllllll the time. All the time. Seriously who are these people who say that working from home is a breeze and they never do anything because I was working from the moment I woke up until I went to bed way after my usual bedtime and at one point I actually had a mini-breakdown and my boss insisted I take a (free) day off. Shit’s HARD. Things are finally calming down now but

We’ve also started announcing layoffs. I’m not really concerned about my job being impacted (other than the fact we were already told we’re not getting merit raises this year), but.........just not a great environment to be in. 

And I worked at a place a few years ago that went through massive layoffs where my role WAS eliminated so.......it’s icky.

And all through this.......honestly, tumblr kind of started feeling like work? Maybe if I were someone who could be casual about anything it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but just.......keeping up with tags......and content....and adding commentary......even at my MASSIVELY reduced level compared to what I used to do years ago........was just really draining me. So when things started getting busy, first with the happy things with the bf and then with the more stressful things, tumblr was just a really easy thing to give up. I’ll be honest, I missed the people a LOT A LOT A LOT and I’ve thought about all of you a great deal, but tumblr itself.........I’ve been ok without it. 

Real talk, at times tumblr just really stressed me out, in ways I didn’t even fully realize until I left. Like.....I’m currently on S4 of a CXGF rewatch and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I’m not dissecting it or thinking about what other fans are saying or getting caught up in ship wars and I LOVE IT. And don’t get me wrong, I loved all the analysis and such in the moment, I really really did, but........idk I think it just took a certain amount of ~effort and I always knew it did but I didn’t realize quite how MUCH of my energy I was using. I think fandoms are wonderful and amazing and I have a million positive things to say about them, but I think for me personally, it was just using more of my energy than I really had room for at this stage in my life. 

And that’s just FANDOM. Don’t even get me started on current events, etc. that circulate. And I know I could just curate my experience and make my dash the place I want it to be and that’s all well and good but........idk, I think at the end of the day right now I really only have room for a casual commitment to this platform and I’ve never been able to be casual about, um, anything, so just leaving was a better option.

And I’m not saying this is forever either, I literally just logged in and was like OOOOOH WHAT IS GOING ON IN HEREEEEE MAYBE I WILL STICK AROUND. But for the time being, really, I just don’t have the time. For reasons good and bad. 

But I’m doing well and I hope you all are too and I love you dearly and stay safe and healthy and happy and well. 

(Also I just Don’t Do social media in general??? But if you’re on insta I at least check that regularly so if we are mutuals feel free to reach out and I’ll share my name.)

SENDING ALL KINDS OF LOVE!!!!!!

[bigskydreaming]

Sometimes I want to follow you but then I dee that you reblog from people who have terrible misinformed/ ignorant borderline xenophobic opinions about certain things I like and they enjoy dragging the things I like.. Then I end up not following you. Even if I block some of them they'll end up on my tl and who knows maybe you have the same/ similar opinions. So yes I love your metas, but sorry I can't bring myself to follow. This has nothing to do with your existing fandoms or "dark" fics.

Okay?

Sfjskgsgksjsi

Sorry I just really don’t know what to do with this? I’m not like, mad about it lol since this is how tumblr is supposed to work I’m pretty sure, like hey it’s cool you like my metas but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna like me The Person and if someone doesn’t like me then why the fuck would they follow me y’know?

In case this is about my posts yesterday about me being annoyed when people like block me but still wanna use my shit, it’s like....yeah that does legit annoy me because I think that’s dumb and I don’t get it. When I don’t like someone I don’t usually WANT to use or peruse content they create because it’s associated with them and I already decided they weren’t someone I care to associate with sooooo.....

But also, that was literally just me saying hey this annoys me. That’s it, that’s the whole scoop. Annoying things are annoying but expressing that isn’t like.....it doesn’t mean I’m going to DO anything about it or even that there’s anything TO do about it, it’s more just haha hey I too am a Person and I am disorderly and my fandom blog doubles as my main blog so here I am having Feelings, let me show you them, RAWR dinosaur emoji????

Idk maybe it’s that it’s 4 am and my brain hasn’t even rebooted enough for me to even figure out why the fuck I’m even awake, lol, but I guess what I’m saying is it sounds like you’ve made an A+ decision for yourself here? I have no idea what mutuals I reblog from that have views you see as xenophobic, without you, like, actually saying what views those are so I can confirm where I stand on them or sit or whatever. But I can tell you that I don’t follow a lot of people period and my mutuals list is pretty short and basically consists of individuals I’ve met on here that I would absolutely go the fuck to bat for, any time, any place, simply because I think they’re super cool people across the board and that’s what you do for super cool people: baseball as an analogy for friendship I guess? I never did get that particular analogy tbh. Or baseball.

Sooooooo tbh I’m like, not the guy to be all that mad that someone doesn’t like me, it’s kinda like lol this is a neat convo I’m just not sure why we’re having it, but what I’m far less keen on is like, just any kinda slight against my mutuals aka friends and friend type people at all.....especially when that doesn’t actually include what it is someone specifically has a problem with cuz Vague Wording is Vague, and when like I said, my inclination is to go to bat for my mutuals, I would kinda like to know what it is I should be swinging at in their defense. Just general FYI for anyone reading this or like future reference or whatever.

(Unless this is about Palestine again slash still, in which case I mean, I already said what I said there and what I said was What We’re Not Gonna Do is make this topic White Guy Sitting Ten Thousand Miles Away From the Gaza Strip Discourse Hour, and the one thing I always am is consistent aka stubborn aka....eh, you get it).

But anyway, my vaguely Point shaped thing here is just that, I am not a pod person or an invertebrate and my opinions are my own and I do not mindlessly agree with things others say even if it is a mutual or friend saying it, but that said, my mutuals are people I am more likely to agree with than not. So absent knowing specifically what posts of theirs concern you as to whether or not I agree with them, all I can really say is if you’re that bothered by some of their opinions in general then yeah, you’re probably best off avoiding me as well in order to keep your dash a place you’re comfortable with, regardless of how you feel about my fandom meta outside of those posts/opinions. Cuz there really is no outside as far as I see it; my fandom meta is me as is my decision as to who I reblog from and associate with as are my opinions and stances on non fandom matters. It’s all just the same me, one network, many shows, but if any of those shows are the equivalent of Fox News in your eyes, then yeah, for sure, screw that one show that has the one guy you really like and just change the channel and find one that’s a better match for you.

It’s allllllll good.

And for the record, if it’s ultimately more just that they bash things you like and seeing that randomly pop up on your dash might bum you out enough that it’s worth it not to follow me just to be safe there, like, that’s totally understandable and nothing to be sorry about. We all do it. There’s a metric fuckton of people in Batfandom that I probably WOULD follow or read or interact with if it weren’t for the fact that I see them talk and joke and reblog a lot with Big Name Batcest shippers and the like, and I mean, lol hey I’m an incest survivor who hates incest with a passion few will ever understand and seeing it pop up on my dash in posts that talk or laugh about it as something fluffy or sweet or harmless would bum me super hard. So it’s like welp, in every other respect it looks like me and this one person could sync up brainwaves and make like platonic soulmates through our next several lifetimes buuuuuuut they’ve got incest-fluff in their general sphere and that’s a dealbreaker for me so guess we’ll never know now cuz I’m gonna keep standing firmly over here. *shrugs* Does that kinda feel like a waste or a shame sometimes? Yeah, maybe, but like. Your priorities are what they are and if you’re happy with your priorities, sticking with them is the clear choice and not something anyone should kick themselves for.

I mean, I might happen to think someone’s priorities are wrong and bad but I’m allowed to just like you’re allowed to think the same about mine or my mutuals’? It’s just...when that’s the ultimate issue, people just having wildly in opposition priorities, there’s just like....not a whole lot to say there beyond ‘hey I think your priorities suck,’ ‘no, YOUR priorities suck,’ ‘well I think your FACE sucks,’ ‘how dare you, I got this face from my MOM, you giant bipedal pitstain, have you no shame’ etc etc ad nauseam.

Anyway, I’ve officially exhausted this topic so exhaustively I’ve now made myself exhausted enough to go back to sleep cuz it’s still not even 5 am lol, and this is all just brain vomit now anyway so in conclusion, it’s all whatever dude, you do you, I’ll do me, we’ll always have Paris, and that’s what you missed on Glee.