#could be read as platonic or romantic and i'm happily somewhere in the middle

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

hermann gottlieb: on lunar exploration & lying to lab partners

Newton still has... moments. Fortunately, Hermann has become something of an expert.

Drafted this at work yesterday while my students did some freewriting. Five word prompt, and this AU came to life almost instantly. 1.539 words.

"I think I hate this."

 "I know this is asking for the impossible, but could you please shut up?"

 "No; I definitely hate this," Newt decided, plowing ahead as if completely unaware of Hermann speaking. The latter silently seethed, once more damning Fate and his father and every other confounded thing that had led to him being stuck here with this... menace.

 Hermann turned from the observation screen with a scathing remark at the ready, but felt it deteriorate immediately upon seeing the distressing state of his partner.

 Newton had situated himself on the floor, picking listlessly at some loose grout along the baseboard. Hermann frowned at the motion- the grout in question had developed a disturbingly bright, violet patina; as their lab and quarters were from the original base, it was likely a few decades old already.

 And Newton, their alleged “expert” on microbes and fungi, was poking his bare fingers into it.

 Wonderful.

 The irritation was easily dismissed however, replaced by a flicker of concern as Hermann observed the repetitive action, realizing that this wasn't Newton's usual restlessness. 

 The pattern was too familiar after spending so long working next to the man- the way Newton had pulled his lower lip between his teeth, the subtle way he had shoved his entire body into as small a position as possible, right arm curved protectively around the folded legs, chin was only millimeters away from resting on his knees.

 Stars help him, but he had seen this far too many times before.

 "Newton, have you taken-"

 "I mean, I know we're not in that much danger out here, I know that, but every time someone goes out there I get so caught up worrying about what might happen to them or what might come back with them or- It's- It's stupid; I’m being stupid, but it's like I can't stop and-"

 His leg would give him hell for this later, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. Hermann carefully took a seat on Newton's right, before promptly wrapping his left arm about the younger's shoulders and hauling him into something resembling an embrace.

 Newton stuttered out the beginnings a protest, but it fell away just as quickly, and he relaxed slightly. With a mild sense of victory, Hermann allowed himself a small smile, thumb tracing light fractals onto Newton's upper arm, the ridges in his skin snagging slightly on the Mylar of Newton's uniform.

 "I must look pretty bad right now, huh." It was an only observation, a passing rhetorical, but Hermann couldn't help but hum an assent anyway, Newton letting out a small sound of frustration.

 "I should be better than this by now. Hell I- I'm on the actual Moon! How is my anxiety still this bad?"

 Hermann took a moment to consider how he should answer- _if _he should answer. But at Newton's subtle behest… Well, something was expected.

 He was humbled- Newton trusting that Hermann could offer him a solution, that he could read the man better than Newton himself and offer some quantifiable, justifiable conclusion which could finally set his mind at ease.

 But the human mind wasn't so simple as that; he knew firsthand how damnably un-simple it was.

 Before one could even be considered for being stationed at Lunar Outpost GQ-654, they were required to take part in strenuous mental and physical examinations (with some notable exemptions), and well-

 While he, in his own humble opinion, did an admirable job of concealing it, Hermann's mind was also filled with- as Newton had once phrased so eloquently- a “big ol' bag of cats.”

 Another smile, this one unbidden, as he recalled that evening, watching Newton fly about the lab in his excitement, rambling (only partly-coherent) about the new water samples collected by Commander Mori's team on their latest mission. Captain Beckett had been visiting and surveying with fond amusement as Newton carried on, his tirade having shifted to something minutely conversational, dragging Raleigh into a debate about- A children’s game?

 Oh, it was an age ago. Hermann couldn't recall every detail, but the core sensations of the memory remained: warmth, affection, familiarity.

 And familiarity- perhaps acknowledgement?- was what Newton needed most.

 "I don't much care for the dark side, myself."

 He felt Newton stiffen slightly; had it been too long since he'd spoken last?

 No... No. the coordinates for Mako's team showed that it had only been a few moments, barely any time having passed at all since he had taken a seat on the floor.

 Newton was quiet, frame still coiled with tension that was edging towards contagious, Hermann's own fears starting to-

 "Somehow I always seem to forget you're just as much a mess as I am."

 Hermann couldn't repress a sardonic huff of laughter at that, letting his head fall back to rest against the cold wall, eyes fluttering shut as he sang softly. "'Misery... Misery loves company.'" He paused, resumed in his normal tone, almost conversationally. "Or so they say."

 Newton shifted, relaxing and stretching out his left leg, letting out a pained noise as his knee cracked. Hermann winced in sympathy; their pending approach towards middle age was agreeing with neither of them. 

 After a few short breaths, he could hear a tease in Newton's voice. "Never woulda pegged you for an Anthrax fan."

 "I'm not," Hermann lied easily. "But when you insist on playing that incessant caterwauling at all hours-"

 "Hey-"

 "-is it so hard to believe I would find at least one or two things that are somewhat tolerable?"

 Newton's stunned silence- no matter how brief it would likely be- was a proverbial point to Hermann. He felt his smile grow, and could practically envision the consternation eclipsing the other's face.

 "Herms..."

 Oh. Oh dear, no. That wasn't the correct tone.

 Alarmed, Hermann straightened, eyes wide as he tried to assess the condition of his crewmate. "Newton?"

 Bright, hazel eyes were angled upwards to meet his own, and there was-

 Oh, bugger him to hell.

 -that damned smirk.

 "You just admitted you like my music."

 "I admitted to no such thing. I simply suggested-"

 "Lie all you want, dude. I know now," Newton elongated and deepened his words, a practiced attempt at mimicking a villain from some cheesy B-rated sci-fi film. Hermann was surprised that Newton didn't punctuate his words with a-

 "Mu-wha-ha-ha-ha."

 -There it was.

 "You're a bloody juvenile."

 "Shut up; you love it," Newton chirped, voice finally peeling in its normal register. A little humiliation on his own end perhaps, but it was worth it to see Newton bouncing- quite literally- back on his feet, bright smile in place, holding out a hand to help Hermann stand.

 "In small increments, Newton. Small increments," Hermann found himself acquiescing as he took the proffered hand, wincing as he avoided placing too much weight on his right leg.

 He hoped Newton hadn't-

 "You good?"

 -Oh of course he had noticed.

 Hermann waved off Newton's concern, awkwardly ambling back towards his work station. The screen shifted to follow him, intuitively adjusting for the most convenient angle of its intended viewers. "I'll drop by Medical for more painkillers after J43-G3R is back in the docking bay."

 As much as it ached, Hermann was still in charge of monitoring his Robotics' programming whenever one of the teams was out. If there were any faults or coding errors, then he needed to-

 "I'll get 'em for you, dude."

 Newton's voice cut off his train of thought, eyes dragging away from the observation screen. "Pardon?"

 The other man offered a small shrug. "You asked me earlier about my meds, and I really did forget this morning. Figured I'll save you the wait and grab yours while I'm there."

 Fondness settled like a small weight in his chest, and he internally sighed in relief. "Thank you, Newton. I would be most grateful."

 Newton offered him double finger-guns as he shuffled backwards out the door. "Anytime, my guy."

 Hermann started to turn back to his computer, the long lists of data that he would be sorting through come tomorrow, before he heard familiar footsteps once again.

 "Hey Herms?"

 Hermann didn't look away from his screen, only slightly tilting his head in Newton's direction. "Mm?"

 "Thanks for earlier. I don't say it a lot, but I don't know how I'd get by without ya."

 Hermann felt his entire body stutter at the spontaneous introduction of sentimentality; it was one thing to offer a loved one a physical gesture of comfort, but words-

 Newton was watching him with that fond, foolish look he knew well now. Oh, it had dimmed for a time, somewhere between their first attempt at friendship and becoming begrudging research partners, but it had long since become so synonymous with all things Hermann now considered _Newton _that he couldn't help but offer a reflexive smile back.

 "Get out of here, you blasted menace," he ordered, words still holding a tad too much fondness.

 With a backwards shuffle and a mocking salute, Newton's expression shifted into a mischievous grin, the man almost side-swiping the doorway as he finally departed.

 Hermann rolled his eyes before turning back to his work, lightly humming along to a song he most definitely wasn't a fan of. 

[creepsterdreams]

touchstarved hc/mini scenario: LIs notice MC likes sitting closer to them when its colder ft. the intense desire to touch Vere's tail and spending prolonged periods of time sitting in upright fetal position

Before I begin, I just wanted to tell you that I love your mind for this!

But I fully believe that all LI's would love it if MC wanted to sit closer to them whenever it was colder outside!! (^-^) and honestly, Vere would probably hate me for constantly asking to pet his tail

Touchstarved mini scenarios: MC sitting closer when it's cold

Content warnings: mention of blood in Mhin's part, a little suggestive in Vere's part, Vere being a little shit, could be read as platonic or romantic, not proofread

Leander

The bustling sound of the Wet Wick was echoing through the upstairs hallways. The sound of laughing, glasses clinking together, and talking all ran through your head as you sat in the room Leander had given you all the while ago. And even though it was beginning to get much colder in Eridia, that didn't seem to slow business down, in fact, it feels as if it's grown even, probably due to people needing a warm place to stay. And in somewhere like Lowtown that's a luxury so few can afford, especially due to its frequent flooding from bad storms.

The sound of boisterous laughter coming up the stairs quickly pull you out of your thoughts. And before you could even question who it is, you already know it's Leander, probably coming to check on you after your sudden disappearance from the bar.

His laughter settles down as he gets closer to your room, before coming to a complete silence as he knocks on the door.

"Hey MC? I'm coming in."

The door opens and he walks in, turning around for a split second to close it before walking towards your figure that was currently resting on the bed, curled up with your head resting on your arms.

He suddenly gives you a look of concern, wondering why you were in that position and why you hadn't acknowledged him yet. Eventually, he reached the bed, sat down next to you and gently tapped his knee.

"You...okay?"

You didn't respond to the question, instead, you scooted a bit closer to him, maneuvering around so that your head now rested on his shoulder. Peaking your head up enough so that your mouth was visible, you whispered in a tired voice

"It's cold."

Leander's eyebrows raised in surprise, taking notice of your shivering figure before letting out a breathy laugh and deciding to wrap his arms around you, making sure you are secure and gently rubbing his thumb on your back.

"Don't you worry....I'll be right here, keeping you warm."

Ais

The loud whistling from the wind is heard echoing throughout the sea spring, making it more obvious that the colder seasons were here.

You were currently resting in the "bedroom" part of the temple that belonged to Ais. Although it was more of an empty space with some furs, pillows, and a futon that he found and scattered along the floor, it was still comfortable enough to sleep on, so you couldn't complain.

Princess was also with you, lying next to you and letting out some soft chirps and purrs. You were in the middle of petting her before she suddenly jumped up and ran towards the entrance, signaling to you that Ais had returned.

He took a moment to crouch down and coo at her, rubbing both sides of her head and pressing a soft kiss on it. Getting up again with princess trailing behind him, he comes towards the room and immediately his eyes are met with the sight of you lying down on his bed with at least three blankets curled around you.

"Comfortable sparrow?"

You lift your head up and tiredly stare at him. "As comfortable as I can get." You say with a raspy tone, watching him chuckle as he makes his way over to you and sits down, setting the bag of whatever he got from the market next to him.

Almost immediately you sit up and wrap your arms around his midsection, cuddling closer to him and sighing happily upon feeling his body heat.

"Your so warrrmmmm." You say breathily while snuggling into his side. Ais lets out another chuckle, taking one of his arms and wrapping it around you

"Getting a little brave, are we?"

You didn't respond, instead humming and keeping your arms around him, letting his warmness take over you and lure you into a nice, deserved nap.

Kuras

You and Kuras were both sitting down in the kitchen of his clinic, he was reading a book while you were face down in the middle of drinking some hot chocolate you had made earlier.

Looking up from the cup you were holding, you stared. at Kuras who was still reading the book, eyes racing across the pages. He eventually did take notice of your intense staring and took off his glasses before setting the book down and placing them on top of it.

"Is there something you need MC?" He asks inquisitively.

You continue staring at him, taking another sip of the hot chocolate before dragging your eyes away from his gaze, choosing to look down at the floor instead.

"It's nothing...."

"Are you sure? You look like you have something on your mind."

Curse him and his amazing sense of reading others.

Some time ago you noticed that Kuras had a concerningly low body temperature, almost damn near freezing most of the time, especially his hands. And you knew this thought was childish but you couldn't help but think maybe if you sat closer to him again, you and he could warm up once more.

Setting down the cup of hot chocolate, you rub your hands together before sliding them underneath the seat to start scooting closer to Kuras.

He watches you with a raised eyebrow, rightfully confused about your actions.

Eventually, you get close enough to where you are shoulder to shoulder with him, automatically feeling the coldness of his own body.

Kuras quickly took notice of this, letting out a soft chuckle before putting back on his glasses and picking up the book yet again, still keeping his shoulder connected to yours.

"If you wanted to warm up a bit, you could've said so."

Vere

Although the wall you were sitting on was cold as all hell, it was the least of your worries at the moment as you were doing your best to get away from the festivities that were currently going on in the Wet Wick. The Bloodhounds had an intense battle earlier today with some soulless and other monsters that were terrorizing parts of Lowtown. So in celebration, Leander ordered a bunch of drinks and food and let the Bloodhounds indulge in anything they wanted. While it was fun at first, it was quickly becoming overstimulating as they got increasingly louder and more reckless, most likely due to the alcohol.

Which led you to your current position, curled up against a wall in the alleyway next to bar, freezing your ass off but not wanting to return to the party.

"I thought I smelled a little rabbit. Not enjoying the fun?"

You quickly tilt your head up, latching your gaze onto the fox that is standing over you with a mocking smirk. He laughs seeing the shock on your face, stepping over to your side taking a sheet from the ground, and then putting it on top of a box, probably not wanting to get his clothes dirty.

"So, you're trying to avoid him too? I wouldn't be surprised, he's extra annoying when he's wasted" Vere continued on, wrapping a lock of his hair around his finger while putting one leg over the other.

You decided to stay silent, too fixated on watching the way his tail sways back and forth.

Has it always been this fluffy?

Vere catches onto your silence, wondering why you weren't responding to his snide remarks. He stops talking and stares down at you, clicking his tongue when he realizes you were staring at his tail.

"See something you like?" He says with a teasing tone.

You still say nothing, opting to keep a steady gaze on the fluffy appendage. You then slowly lift a hand up, inching it close to his tail.

"Can I?..."

Vere's eyes for a moment go as wide as saucers, a bit caught off guard from your sudden question. But it quickly returns back to a smirk, choosing to lean down a bit closer to you.

"You're going to have to beg a little harder than that if you want to touch me."

You send him a small glare, in which in response he falls back laughing, enjoying your reactions to him.

"Well, since I do...somewhat like you, I guess I can entertain your request. But do be careful, I would hate for you to lose your hands."

The threat at the end of his sentence sends a light shiver down your spine, but you understand it nonetheless. Now having his permission, you scoot closer towards him and gently grasp his tail so it wraps around your body, offering you warmth in the cold weather. You gently pet the end of it, smiling to yourself at the feeling of the fur running through your fingers.

Vere on the other hand is trying to ignore that soft feeling slowly rising within his heart. Seemingly enjoying seeing you using his tail as a makeshift blanket.

"Hmm...I guess I can allow this..once"

Mhin

It had been a while since you had seen Mhin, a part of you slowly becoming worried about their whereabouts, but another part of you felt that they were okay, just taking a bit longer on their nightly hunts for soulless in the city.

You were finishing up getting ready for bed, doing your best to find something comfortable enough to keep you warm through the night. After finishing your nightly routine, you eventually lay down in your bed, pulling the covers up to your chest and snuggling into the pillow.

That's when you hear the sound of shuffling coming from the window. It at first sends you into a panic but then you calm down, realizing it's most likely just Mhin returning.

You hear the sound of boots landing on the wooden floor, and then the irritated mumbling coming from Mhin, obviously irritated from whatever blood and other disgusting things got on their clothing.

You peak your head up at them, slowly sitting up while watching them do their best to wipe everything off.

"You were out there for that long in the cold?" You say with a hint of concern in your voice.

Your sudden question makes them pause and turn to you, slightly surprised by the fact that your still awake.

"Of course I was, someone has to get rid of those damn things."

You continue staring at them as they take off their cloak and boots, assumingly wanting to stay with you for a bit before they jump up again to look for some jobs. They trudge over to the bed and lay down, draping one of their arms over their eyes and sighing heavily.

You do your best to hide giggle wanting to leave your chest, finding humor in seeing Mhin so relaxed despite their usual tough exterior.

They huff again before a small scowl reaches their face.

"I know your cold as hell so get over here."

What they said caught you off guard. Mhin? Of all people wanting physical contact?

"What are you talking about?" You say with a voice of pure confusion

"Don't think I don't notice you sitting closer to me whenever it's cold."

.....well shit

You thought you were a bit better at hiding the obvious stealing of their body heat, but you guess you can't really hide anything from someone who hunts for a living.

You decide to not argue against it and get closer to them, lying down on their chest and sighing at the feeling of warmth. They click their tongue and use their free hand to set it gently on your back.

"Try not to enjoy it too much."

Author's note: I hope that was what you were asking for!! I apologize if it seems rushed or too fast-paced! (T_T)

[racebox-of-higgars]

//plops down at table with three notebooks//

Good evening.

You shall now be the subject of my rambling and info-dumping, seeing as you have recently reblogged a post about invading your ask box to do just that.

So, buckle up, my beloved mutual, for I am about to talk your damn ears off.

We all know historians are heterosexist shabuire, yes? Yes? Good. So I've taken it upon myself to send an f-you to all of them and collect evidence for one of the historically accurate ships they so desperately try to erase. The one in question here is, of course, Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens, or more commonly known as Lams.

I've done... a lot of research, to put it mildly. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do consider reading letters from the late 1700s and screaming because I can feel my heart MELTING as research.

Anygay, there's a lot that I have right now so I'll just hit the highlights, because if I go completely in-depth with everything I've found, this'll be thousands of words longer.

The year is 1779. The month, April. The date... unknown. Which sucks. Alexander and John have fought together for years at this point and are very close... friends. This is the first time they've been truly separated. The letter open with:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me."

So pretty much what this opening paragraph is saying is this: "*Sexual innuendo* And I'll keep telling you that until you die. So you know I hate everyone and don't want to have any attachments to anyone. But you've managed to worm your way into my heart, even though I didn't want it. So now that you've done it, please keep doing it, for you if not for me."

Now that's just hella gay. Like, hella fucking gay.

The middle paragraphs are mainly talk about the war, so skipping those for the end because that's when things get spicy as FUCK.

Alexander asks John to find him a wife and goes into great detail about exactly what he wants in a wife. I saw a theory somewhere (I can't remember where) that Alexander was actually describing John and yeah, it pretty much checks out. Keeping in mind deliberate irony is a thing.

So then he goes on to say: "...mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩." 'Nose' is a slang term. And the - - - - - are crossed out words. We'll get to those later.

The last sentence of this letter is: "I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend." and I find this. So. Sweet. He's pretty plainly missing John. And just- he uses the word intercourse. How- how is that platonic? This is gay. They're gay. It's gay.

In almost all the letters that survived, they're signed with "Yours", "Affectionately Yrs.", "Yrs most sincerely", "Yr affectionate", and "Yrs forever" from Alexander. "Adieu, my dear boy", "My love as usual", "You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens", and "Yours ever" all came from John, with the last being the most common. That's... also not terribly straight. Something additionally interesting is that John's father, Henry Laurens, called his wife, Elenor, "Dear girl." That would make it explicitly romantic in his eyes. John also called his wife that in the only surviving letter from him to her. Oh yeah, he's married and has a kid, btw.

So pretty much how that happened was John's boyfriend Francis Kinloch broke up with him, he banged Martha probably 'cause he was sad and pissed and had a lot of feelings, she got pregnant, then he married her out of pity. Alexander knew none of that. And they were really close. The only reason he found out was because he happened to stumble upon some stuff he shouldn't have, and he was pissed. The whole paragraph about him detailing the wife he wanted? Pretty much petty payback.

Devoted is an interesting word, isn't it? Stronger than it's synonyms, such as caring or loyal. So if we skip ahead a few years, Alexander is engaged to Eliza. He tells John about this, John responds, and in his next letter he says: "...as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now." He's telling him, "Don't worry, I'll still love you as much as I always have. Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't change my feelings for you." Again. Heterosexual explanation? None.

" I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade." Keep in mind that at this point now, Alexander was married. And he didn't include his wife in the exemptions. Only John and one of his closest friends, Richard Meade. Dunno 'bout you, but that seems rather telling to me. He also says at the end: "My ravings are for your own bosom." And I can't. His ravings are for John's heart I can't.

These are just some of the highlights of my nearly six thousand word book on this subject. I would happily copy/paste it all, but I'm not gonna subject you to that XD For full viewing the link is here, should you wish to listen to me ramble and rant in more detail.

Thank you for allowing me to dump this all on your lap, and I shall now bid you adieu. //vanishes back into the shadows//

HI, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I’ve had a pretty full-on day. 

This was actually super interesting to read. I actually did a little bit of research into this about a year ago, when I was writing Lams fanfiction, so I knew about the ‘cold in my professions, warm in my friendships” letter, but not any of the others, so thanks for this!! It was a really fascinating read, and I definitely learned a lot from reading it. Have a good day :)