#cosplaying the run bonk boy

[tritonposting]

*kicks down door* IT’S TOURNAMENT PROPAGANDA TIME (tagging @battlebotschampionshiptournament as requested hehe (and also because that's where the tournament is lol))

As the blog named tritonposting, it is my inherent moral duty to post about Triton– more specifically, to post a list of reasons why he is the sexiest robot in the WCVII Battlebots roster. His first round is tomorrow, so I figured I'd get this out early to capture the largest possible audience.

The Propaganda List is 17 items long, and mostly divided into one group of verbal elaborations + one group of images, because I am just a little too enthusiastic about this.

For legal reasons this is all ironic yeah this is totally for the haha funnies no I am not unironically attracted to this robot what do you mean

(Under the cut because Long Post)

1. Firstly, to sway those of you who are more into humans than bots, I present you with my artwork of a human AU Triton:

A dashing himbo, no?

2. Shape language is everything when designing a combat robot. Rounder shapes (example: those found on Blip and Rusty) indicate a cuter, more approachable persona. Triton, on the other hand, is mostly angles. Thanks to that, he looks fierce and intimidating, which is immensely sexy of him.

4. I mentioned the blade, and realized that was worth making a separate point of, because… have you seen it?!? Not only is it 80 pounds– the heaviest a weapon can be, according to the rulebook– but it’s elegant, sleek, and casts one hell of a shadow. When your bot’s weapon alone is iconic enough to be used as a logo, as Team Overboard has utilized it, that’s how you know you’ve designed something that’s a cut above the rest.

5. Related to the last point: If you’ve heard his death hum, you already know why this is an item on the list. If you haven’t… here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w-x-GAC9gI

Now you have. Forget the roar of your standard spinner, this thing screams. To some, this is a scary sound, a hallowing reminder that combat robots, when pitted against humans, easily become death machines. To me? It just makes this freakin’ robot even hotter.

6. PROTECTED. WHEELS.

7. INVERTIBLE.

8. SELF. RIGHTING. ASS. SPIKE.

9. FAST. FUCKING. SPIN-DOWN. TIME.

10. Points 6-9 (hehe funni) highlight the engineering intricacies few notice at first glance, but that have contributed to making Triton the immediate– relative– success he is. (2-2 isn’t bad for a rookie bot, especially considering some 1-3 bots made it into this year’s RO32!) Team Overboard had some intense time/location constraints to work with this year, given the timing of Deep Six’s rejection, so these tiny details couldn’t have been planned out very far in advance. Understanding how quickly the builders drew up such ingenuity from scratch makes Triton’s design even more impressive. (Just in case I’m losing you in the technicalities, well-engineered robot = sexy robot!!!)

I have run out of words, off to images/gifs we go!!

11. This <3

12. This 😳

13. He is a big boy confirmed (Jackpot for scale)

14. Shiny murder robot ugh 😩

15. This smooth bonk

16. Scared boy 💖💖💖 (I know fear isn’t very sexy but you know what is?? Trying your best)

17. Last but not least, he dressed up as Tombstone for Halloween, robot cosplay is inherently hot (prove me wrong, u can’t)

TL;DR: Vote Triton for Sexiest Battlebot 2023!!!!

[tsuki-sennin]

20 Episodes! ...about like 14 of which I've commented on, but no biggie!

Delicious Party goes on and on! Until the snack table runs dry!

Spoilers, I guess... con carne!

-Hello, Yuin~!

-Oh, the whole squad's here for the greeting! How lovely~!

-Working hard, are you Amai-kaichou?

-What kinda restaurant do your parents run, Koko-neechan?

-Ah right, you're new to the whole dynamic, huh Amane?

-Between Yui's high metabolism and Ran's epic spins, they will bring shame upon their collective bloodlines. And yours and Kokone's by extension.

-Table manners. Ever important, yes?

-Watch, Kokone's family's restaurant is gonna be like a Chuck E. Cheese or one of those cosplay cafes.

-Oh sure, use a doggo, a fox, and a babby dragon as your teaching tools.

-Fancy-type eatin' comes naturally if you do it often enough.

-Hardly fair, is it Amai-kaichou? You and Koko-neechan are rich people! That's like game journalist difficulty for formal functions!

-"Oh my god, you girls are so cringe..."

-Oh epic, dress up.

-Yeah, Narcistoru kinda sucks at this whole thing.

-Secretoru got nerve.

-"Holy shit, I fucking love cute dresses"

-...are those like baby clothes? I mean, I guess they would be, but why are they in the same section as the teenage girl section?

-Oh whoops. Guess they're busy.

-Panda Ran. Bottom Text.

-Food and manners. Hand in hand.

-Much more tasteful. ...pretty cute too.

-Oh, Kokone... :(

-...man, Toei really stopped fucking up their animation, huh?

-Ah, this is a fantastic little place. Like, the colors, the textures, the silence...

-Recipeppi in fancy town. Epic.

-I kinda like how the whole manners thing puts Narcistoru in only a slightly worse light than before.

-Holy crap, those dudes have deep voices.

-Oh, Takumicchi! You're here too!

-...what the hell even is that thing?

-Yeah girl, get it.

-Fight honorably. That's manners.

-Precious bonked after her jump attack failed. The speedrun is dead.

-Black Pepper.

-Whoaccha!

-Amane, I'm very proud of your progress, but we're sort of in the middle of fightin'. You and Kokone can discuss your relationship within the polycule later.

-Ah, unflappable Black Pepper! Exhausted as the rest of 'em!

-Man, the Finale Fanfare's gorgeous...

-A roast chicken.

-Oh golly, I don't know who that man is Amane-san.

-Adorable

-Takumicchi! ...hey, pepper boy, snap out of it, you gotta eat dinner first!

-Ah, that's nice, an improvised ball!

-...where might the music be coming from, in universe?

-Ohhhh! The Amane/Kokone ship has officially gone sailing! How lovely!

-I know I keep saying I don't have a lot to say about these episodes, but I think enjoying them as much as I am has really helped my mood in general these days.

-Oh crap, the sweets! They're endangered! But that's okay because Ranchi focus!

[patchdotexe]

Explorers of Arvus: uhhhh / 3.23.21

today's notes are different from usual bc. well. you'll see

LAST TIME ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS i broke my sleep schedule and am barely existing so this is fine. we went back to camp vengeance an uhhhhhhhhhhhh we are now going to fuck off into the forest to die or prove a very important point

oh god we forgot to level up

[mgd voice] BOOSTING NYX TO MAXIMUM LEVEL

im so fuckin tired. what on earth am i doing. how do i level again

k is not here this time but instead we've got mae+nii bonking their heads together to simulate 2 braincells and so far it is not working. i might just have to like fuckin, drop out n zzz partway thru or somethin. would be fun to see how chaotic michael makes charlie in my absensce

oh wait i can do d&dbeyond i think. how do i work this again. will i ever remember i have shield

what level am i. level 6? pog. oh shit i think i have a new thing

. new spell

. 3 total 3rd level spell slots

. bend luck! i can now screw people over on purpose (and will probably use my sorcery points FINALLY)

michael is leveling charlie up bc my brain is apple sos

ASDXFKLJFH I FEEL CALLED OUT zec rb'd my most recent art of MaX with "all i know about xem is that leo likes xem a lot that's the extent of my knowledge" THANK U FOR SUPPORTIN ME ANYWAY

there will be less blaseball distractions than last time bc blaseball is now on siesta. however i will still have MaX brainrot in the background bc i was drawing xem

wyatt mason my beloved

OKAY I GOTTA MUTE THE TACO STAND FOR THE ENTIRETY OF D&D i cannot and will not get distracted. we can do this. we

nintendo wii

we havent even started yet and im already incoherent

ok i have made a decision and that decision is that i do not have the brainpower to play. however i do have the brianpower to take notes hopefully! so ill just like. vibe. this will be a first

oh man im gonan pick up Blink. charlie is gonna be a fucking menace to herself and others

oh my god its not concentration so charlie may continue teleporting while unconscious. thorne is going to hate this

[charlie gets her soul eaten by a ring] [charlie singing dragonston din tei at halvkWAIT JORB HAS A PRIZE

jorb got a thing! an evil genius thing! figure man. fugrine. figuring. help

GREEN HAS DIAGNOSED ME AS TIGREX MONSTERHUNTER i love this

my notes are a disaster. this is so sucks

serotonin is stored in the wiggly zoomy jorb camera

jorb: his pinky is the size of the rest of his fingers

leo: he has a disease

jorb: he has a disease.

jorb: that disease is male pattern baldness

leo: [reduced to tearful giggling for mysterious reasons]

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS: we've returned to camp vengeance! taure is still unconscious, which is not very great. camp vengeance is doin better tho!

michael, as part of the recap: ingrid is getting railed by her new girlfriend,

first dice roll of the day is michael rolled a 1. good start

OH THORNE IS AN ARTIFICER NOW thorne took a level in artificer!

"...it's like figuring out the right mathematical equation to summon a gun."

group is gonna go check out the statue that we passed by now that we're not WHAT DO YOU MEAN PONK AND GEORGE CANONICALLY HAVE IBS thats it im not looking at 772 anymore

im doing a bad job of paying attention but at least im Present

SIERON LEARNED FLY AND USED IT ON CHARLIE

michael: what do you want to do with your new flying powers?

leo: how many problems can i cause in 10 minutes

guard 1: ...why is the halfling flying?

guard 2: [rolls a 3 on intelligence] i think they can just do that

groundhogs, the real scourge of the campaign

silje and sieron are gonna hunt a big elk. they got distracted and sieron is putting grass on silje's head. i think

WAIT WE'RE ON WATCH NOW FUCK

we have discovered kali's tragic backstory whoops

update i am. too sleepy for this. good nigh everyone

[ and then leo went and somewhat took a nap! solar, normally playing thorne, started playing charlie in my stead. @jorbs-palace, local hero, started taking shitpost notes in my stead. ]

jorb's ghostwritten notes for leo:

help solar is immediately doing a cursed voice for charlie. charlie can do so many crimes

congratulations, charlie is now temporarily immortal!

dwarves can hit things with their beard

kali wants to know if she's legally allowed to bail

she'd feel really bad if she had to loot our corpses for payment if we died.

we have entered the Tree Zone

one of the corpses is now a flamingo (has one leg)

silje has decided to stab the ground. take that, dirt

kali was large size for a second there but then she remembered to not be a giant

"you accidentally deleted my cat?!"

silje has learned naruto cloning jutsu

be gone, thot

oh boy, making an int check to look at a statue! 11! silje is dumb apparently.

hmm. the statue has divination magic. it's also affecting silje.

SILJE LEARNED A 6TH LEVEL SPELL? its only single use but still

you solved my statue riddllllleeeee

thorne forgot to have eyes

its a shame mac and cheese doesnt exist in the d&d universe

wizards are just math criminals (the criminal part is setting people on fire)

sieron crit fails a check but it was still a 9 because of having +8

thorne is looking for what's weird!

uh oh music got scary, never a good sign

hmm. those leaves over there weren't dead a moment ago.

UNDEAD TROLL TIME! rolling initiative

"it's ok, im a wizard, it's my duty to be correct." "wow! waow!"

woooah here he comes

IT JUST DID HALF SIERON'S HEALTH AS A PASSIVE END OF TURN EFFECT?

thorne backed up and cast eldri- oh, ray of enfeeblement. character development continues

charlie is going to just blink out of existence for a minute.

big chungus has grabbed silje and sieron. BIG CHUNGUS HAS THROWN SILJE AND SIERON.

sieron is using hit and run tactics! isn't good at his extra attack yet though

silje is activating bid bid blood blood blood

thorne uses beam of skipping your leg day. troll's legs are now skipped.

michael is trying to determine what a 'clavicle' is

"does that mean the star trek kind, or the bdsm kind?"

charlie wants to cast magic missile.

charlie has vanished back into the ethereal plane mid-taunt

silje has decided to not get bitten today

silje may or may not have stats.

oh, right, trolls are weak to fire! and also we forgot to upgrade sieron's firebolt. so it actually hurts now!

silje is full of knives and blades and does 31 damage in one turn!

charlie shouts words of encouragement from the ethereal plane. a nearby ghost vibes with this.

🎉 eldritch blast 🎉

kali remembered she hates the sun

silje is enthuasiatic about charlie saying "get him cat boy!"

charlie contemplating using fireball to nuke the troll and also the entire stonehenge

charlie has decided to use magic missile instead, probably for the best

the troll bit at charlie SO POORLY it broke some of its teeth on the ground

charlie is too small to hit

accidentally rolled advantage on a firebolt, so got to learn it WOULD have done 29 damage with a crit but instead it missed because it was not actually with advantage

silje has just sliced open its entire back and made a spray of frozen blood! radical. big boy is down!

we have burned the body because we are not stupid. well, we ARE stupid, but not stupid in the way of leaving a body full of necrotic magic around

[dr coomer voice] i think it's good that he died!

we're also doing a funeral pyre for the other corpses that were around. just to be sure.

our loot is: the satisfaction of a job well done

thorne is cosplaying as charlie

charlie has located the direction troll came from! she found the 'the way to sweet loot' sign

thorne is apparently better at survival checks than our hired guide? wack

we found a viking house! it has: mead, a shield, gravestones,

found a gold coin in the mead! maybe it was thirsty

oh theres a LOT Of coins in there actually. 60 gold and 120 silver!

have successfully pointed out a hole in the DM's logic :)

there was a raven! it cawed and left. ok bye buddy

and that's where we leave it! heading back to camp vengeance next time.

someone rated this session a 7.2 out of 10, which is very specific

good night mr coconut