#connor ain't just a snack
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aka welcome to the minnesota wild as shania twain songs! this is a many months long passion project @alshaverpressbox and i have been pecking away at but here on the eve of a fresh season we are ready to share!
daemon hunt - man! i feel like a woman!
i bet you’re wondering how this all started….. mr hunt mentioned this was his karaoke song and well, it spiraled into the rest of this. we thank you for your service sir 🫡
wild fans - you’re still the one, i’m holdin’ on to love (to save my life)
love is stored in wildblr ❤️
jon merrill - i ain’t no quitter
is he the best at hockey? no but he is for mullets & gays <3
jake middleton - you win my love, party for two
there's no speed limit/just go faster, faster, don't be slow/rev it up, rev it up 'til your engine blows (please watch this music video with him in mind i beg)
brock faber - rock this country, no one needs to know
i just know he also screams the minnesota mention in rock this country. also was sad to realize months too late how good of a brock for calder song it is
matt boldy - the woman in me (needs the man in you)
i'm not always strong/and sometimes i'm even wrong/but i win when i choose/and i can't stand to lose
joel eriksson ek - honey, i’m home, gonna getcha good, giddy up
most persecuted girl in the world who deserves a good foot rub and a lil snack
marcus foligno - i’m not in the mood (to say no), party for two
ain’t no need to plan it, jump right in and jam it also yes party for two is for both middsy and moose and they’re singing it to spurge. they're cool fun guys who bring the party what more is there to say?
marat khusnutdinov - ain’t no particular way
welcome to minnesota get loved bitch
marco rossi - up!, i’m jealous
nice young man who’s persevered with mild antics for his goalie that he’s totally normal about
zach bogosian - you lay a whole lotta love on me
beefcake..... i can feel your body tuggin' gently on my mind/stirring up a feeling i thought i'd never find
jonas brodin - love gets me every time, don't be stupid (you know i love you)
really need to hear “i gol’ darn gone and done it” come out of this man’s mouth Right Now
liam ohgren - wanna get to know you (that good)
don't wanna miss a minute/wanna be right in it/do everything you're doing/go everywhere you're going
marc-andre fleury - legends never die, when you kiss me
feel very normal about our record setting goalie really really liking us
jesper wallstedt - thank you baby (for makin’ someday come so soon)
he's here........
filip gustavsson - what a way to wanna be!
giving "android in the group chat" giving nobody’s perfect by hannah montana
mats zuccarello - you've got a way
when your hockey soulmate shows up and your career revitalizes.....
ryan hartman - whatever you do! don’t!
hartzy is soooo normal about kirill as we all know
jared spurgeon - any man of mine, from this moment, come on over
i do indeed give my hand you with all my heart.....
declan chisholm - white claw
so when he calls/say fuck it all
freddy gaudreau - i won’t leave you lonely
soft song..... soft man....
marcus johansson - c’est la vie
hold tight, it comes right eventually
jakub lauko - (if you’re not in it for love) i’m outta here
passing this vibe check with flying colors btw
kirill kaprizov - she’s not just a pretty face, that don’t impress me much
she's got everything it takes, and yeah she thinks you're alright but that won't keep her warm in the middle of the night.... he is That Bitch
nordy - juanita
nordy save us, save us nordy
billy g - whose bed have your boots been under?
you never know with that bitch...
gone but never forgotten (affectionate and derogatory)
mason shaw - forever and for always
and there ain't no way/i'm letting you go now
charlie coyle and jason zucker - when
zoyle will be reuninted one day right? right????
brandon duhaime and connor dewar - in my car (I’ll be the driver), if it don’t take two
if i'm not with you/no it ain't worth goin' through/if it don't take two
matt dumba - it only hurts when i’m breathing
do i think about dumbs talking about how he and jimmy wanted to be around til the reds came back all the time? perhaps
dean evason - i ain’t going down
her smile got me through the years/dried away the tears/it filled me with hope
pat maroon - is there life after love?
answer: there is not life after love. at least not for patty "chicago" maroon
kevin fiala - nah!
yeah, that's it (that's all), we had fun (we had a ball)/it was good while it lasted, but now i'm past it
parise and suter - ka-ching
dig deeper in your pocket, come on, i know you’ve got it <- them to chuck fletcher
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The Cucky ALPHAbet, Pt. 1 (Story)
Credit for the original concept of Brandi and Heather goes to @wittlesissyb4by and their excellent story “Besties”. Credit for the original concept of the “Cucky Alphabet” goes to Safeword Ignored Comics.
Each of the bolded letters corresponds to the letter from the song!
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Early morning…
"Oh, Brandi..." I cooed, still in Connor's arms after another round of mind-blowing sex. He was such a stud. "Stop, babe!" I giggled, feeling his lips on my neck. "You're going to get me turned on again!" We were about to go for round 3 when Brandi simpered into the room. "Mmmph?” She struggled to speak behind the lip gag I made her wear. Her perfect permanent ‘o-face’ expression was so adorable! Just like a little dolly. And of course, Connor loved it for, uh, “ease of access”.
Sitting up in bed, I grabbed a used condom from the nightstand and threw it at Brandi. "Snack time, sweetie," I giggled. "But don't worry, there'll be plenty more alpha loads for you tonight." Brandi just looked at the condom, unsure of what to do with it. "Here are your options, dummy," I said, lying back on the pillow. "Either tilt your stupid sissy head back and suck it down, or I pour it in your diapee and you sit in it all night. Now hurry up and make your choice, loser.”
“Oh, yesss, good girl," I moaned, tossing my head back in pleasure. Watching my pathetic little Brandi humiliate herself never gets old. I started touching myself as I watched her suffer, spreading my legs and teasing my clit under the covers. I'm sure Brandi is completely focused on me, but it's also fun to tease Connor a little. Mmm, I loved to flaunt my perfect body for real men.
I giggled as I watched Brandi struggle to get all the cum out of the condom and accidentally give herself a facial. "Keep it there, cupcake. It suits you," I snickered. "Come over here, honey," I beckoned. Brandi had her hands cuffed behind her back and a hobble chain on her ankles, making her waddle across the room a slow and humiliating one. Her pink tutu flared, showing off her Disney princess Pampers. "So, did you have a good time watching cartoons, Brandi?" I laughed, feeling Connor reach around me to play with my tits right in front of my ex-boyfriend’s eyes. “Mmm, thank you Daddy,” I moaned, just to rub it in.
"Mmmph, mmph…" she replied, staring at the ground. "Why not, loser?" I smirked and looked towards the open door. "Did Mommy's moans bother you? I know you’ve never heard them before, those are sounds Mommy only makes for real men..." I turned and kissed Connor again, more passionately this time, taunting her further. "Sorry, sweetness. I know it must have been tough hearing Mommy in action. Probably made that little sissy stick of yours struggle in that little chastity cage you’re locked up so tight in, huh?"
Once again, Brandi had nothing useful to say, just gazing at her feet like they were fascinating. I had to physically lift her chin to make her look me in the eyes. "Big news, little girl!" I declared, giggling as her face lit up with hope for a second, as if anything good could possibly come from this situation. "Daddy and I are going on a date today!" Her face instantly fell back into a sullen expression. "But we need your help, my dear!" Brandi's concern grew as she realized where this was going. "You see?" I turned to face Connor, "I can't bear to see her sad face! It's just so heart-wrenching!"
"Listen here, you little bitch," Connor barked at the pathetic sissy, towering over her. "You're gonna stay put and clean this fucking house. No kinky or weird shit. And we ain't dealing with your sorry ass tonight." I rolled my eyes and turned Brandi towards me. "What Daddy meant to say is that he's taking me dancing! We'll be out probably all night and I didn't have time to ask Kylie or Lyndsey to come over. So you'll have to be a big girl while Daddy and I are out, got it?"
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Hola! I am craving a kid fic where Leon and Cassidy have a fun day together
I accidentally deleted the fic so I'm abit pissed at myself. Great right?
The Family of Destruction- Poor little bug
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Leon was growing impatient. Which wasn't hard, Leon wasn't a very patient man at the moment. He leans against his car as he blows smoke into the air. He watches the kids walk out, he spots Cassies friends but no cassie. "Oi! Ashe!" He yells stopping the small group of nerds. "Come here!" He barks. The kids, Connor, Ashe, Noel and Jesse rush over. "Uh Leon, what are you doing here?" Ashe asks quietly. She seems nervous. "Im picking up Cassidy. Where is she?" Leon asks. He examines the two boys, Jesse and Connor, knowing they'd break easier than the girls. "She said her dad was pickin her up" noel states. "Yeah well her dad got called away, so I'm picking her up" Leon huffs.
The kids look at each other. "Where is she?" Leon growls pushing off the car and blowing smoke at them. "Leave em!" A new voice huffs. Leon looks to see cassie skating closer. He sighs. Of course, that's were his old skateboard went. "Your late." Leon states. "And your not dad" she states stopping infront of him and picking the board up. "Dad's at a show-" "what about papa?" "At a show." "John-" "at training. It's me or walk" Leon snaps grabbing the skateboard and throwing his cigarette down, putting it out with his boot. She frowns. "Let me go with my friends" "no chance in hell. Dad will kill me. Get in the damn car" Leon orders. "I don-" "I don't care, get in the god damn car!" Leon yells.
Cassie frowns as her brother moves around the car, throwing the board into the back seat and getting in. "See you tomorrow." Connor whispers. "If he doesn't kill you" Jesse chuckles dragging Noel and Ashe off. Connor huffs and runs after them. Cassie sighs and gets into the car.
She doesn't have the chance to put her seat belt on before Leon speeds off.
"You are such an asshole!" She snaps. Leon rolls his eyes as he drives. "Get over it. I had plans aswell you know?" Leon mutters. "Yeah, who you sleeping with?" Cassie smirks. "Get your head out the gutter. Me, mattie and val were going to catch a film and get food afterwards." Leon sighs. "We could still do that, I'm sure dad won't be mad if we go together." Cassie suggests. "He will when he finds out its rated a 18" Leon chuckles. "You ain't 18-" "and the nice lady at the cinema doesn't care because unlike you we do not look five." Leon teases. "How come you aren't at the show?" Cassie asks, leaning back into the seat. "Test season, you know papa made rules too vince about that" Leon hums as they pull up to the house.
"So, what's the plan?" Cassie asks as he turns the car off. "Plan? Papa wants your homework done before they get home" Leon chuckles getting out of the car. Cassie groans and follows him, running and slipping into the door before he can. "No way! I'm not doing homework all day!" She snaps. "Aw poor little bug" Leon teases closing the door and making his way to the kitchen. "Lee!" She whines running after him, dropping her bag on Charlie's bed as she goes. Charlie huffs and nudges it off his bed before going back to sleep. "Whattttt" Leon groans opening the fridge. "Please! Johnny's the party pooper not you! You don't wanna be like John!" She frowns.
Leon huffs and closes the fridge. He looks at her. "Alright Bug. You start your homework now, ill buy pizza for dinner and we can watch a bunch of films with snacks until they get home, which you will rush upstairs and pretend you were asleep" Leon offers. "Horror films. None of that childish shit." Cassie negotiates holding her hand out. "Horror films it is" Leon chuckles shaking her hand. "Result!" She cheers. "Homework" Leon orders. She smiles and rushes off. Leon sighs and places his bag onto the island before leaning against the counter and looking at the time. "Now I've just gotta kill time" he mutters, scratching the dry skin around his fresh scar.
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Leon huffs as he lowers the bow. "Clean through" a voice whistles. He turns to see Cassie sat on the steps, her books around her. "How long you been there?" He asks. "Enough to know you could go pro" she states. "You just did a typical movie move! A arrow through a arrow?! Awesome!" Cassie cheers. Leon can't help but smile. "Come here, I'll teach you a trick" Leon tells her. "Yes" she whispers dropping her book and grabbing her toy bow and arrow. Leon moves and lets cassie take his spot. He rests the bow on his back and moves towards the target. "Always disarm when someone's moving into the firing range. Same with guns" Leon tells her as he pulls the arrows out. "When will I be taught how to use a gun?" She asks.
"Knife first, then gun. And whenever dad thinks your ready." Leon states. "You could use a knife at my age" cassie frowns. "Thats different. I was, special" Leon mutters, mocking his father's own explanation of why he's learning. "Besides, you'll probably start learning soon. Dad will probably wait until your 18 for the gun. Hell, me and John are still learning" Leon states as he walks over. "Would you ever use it?" Cassie asks. "Nope. Only on the monsters lerking here. If we ever have to use it on a human it will have to be because they are about to use one to kill us." Leon tells her as he stands next to her.
"Never knew you could be so...human" "Oh please, an arrow through the heart is so much better" Leon smirks. She shakes her head. "Pose. Cmon" Leon tells her, watching as she raises the bow, adjusting the arrow into place. "Watch your breathing. Look" Leon tells her, grabbing his own bow. She watches as he breathes in, tenses his stomach. He lowers his bow and looks at her as she tries to copy his stance. "No" he huffs kicking her feet further and pushing her stomach. She frowns but manages to keep it. Her arm failing. Leon hits it up and straight. "Focus, keep calm, breathe evenly and shoot." He tells her. She takes a deep breathe before letting the arrow go.
"I did it!" She cheers as she hits the bullseye. "Congrats, now, pizza. Go pick a film whilst I order" Leon tells her, slipping his bracer off. "You aren't going to check my homework?" She asks lowering the bow. "I couldn't give a shit" he shrugs making his way up the porch to go put his bow and arrows away. She smiles and drops the toy bow before collecting her books and going in.
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Leon tilts his head back as he eats a slice of pizza. The original texas chainsaw massacre playing in the background. He glances down to where cassies head is rested in his lap, fast asleep curled up under a blanket. She fell asleep during nightmare on elmstreet. "Well well well" a voice teases. Leon groans as a hand smashes the pizza against his face. "Look at you slacking on your diet" John teases as Leon tilts his head forward, catching the pizza and throwing it onto the box. "Asshole" he whispers. "What is she still doing up? Dad will kill you. And papa will kill you when he sees that on" John smirks jumping onto the sofa next to Leon. "Shes asleep. I tick all those boxes and she said her homework is done" Leon smirks.
"Betta be" the deep voice grunts. And John swears if Leon was a cat, his ears would be flat against his head. "Yessir" Leon nods as two hands press against the back of the sofa. "Horror films with my baby girl Leon?" Taker asks. 'The only way I could get her to corporate' is what Leon wants to say. "Im sorry.. " Leon mutters. "Ligthen up" Shawn yawns as he moves over, grabbing a slice of pizza and eating it. Taker squeezes Leon's shoulders. "You been practicing again?" Taker asks. "Yeah..showed cassie somethings too." Leon nods. "Good, glad you two didn't murder each other" Taker smiles. "Yeah..it was fun" Leon admits. "Aweee look at you being a good big brother" John teases, pinching Leon's cheek. Leon groans and hits his hands away.
Cassie mumbles and starts waking. "Done it now boys" Taker scolds hitting them both on the back of the heads. "Hey bug, how was it?" Shawn asks as she sits up. "Leon was an asshole infront of my friends." She frowns. "Awe. Poor little bug" Shawn smiles. "But other than that I had loads of fun! It was a great time" she smiles. Shawn looks at Leon and smiles. "Atta boy" he whispers. Leon smiles slightly.
Cassie gasps as she looks at the screen. "You started it without me!" She whines. "Poor little bug" Leon smirks pushing her onto the floor with Charlie. Charlie just licks her face causing the others to chuckle.
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Yeah, not happy it all got deleted.
But I'm glad I managed to basically rewrite it.
But I love it anyways.
I had something I wanted to say here but it's completely left my mind.
Hope you enjoy. Sorry it took so long.
Also hope yall enjoyed actually meeting some of cassies childhood friends and having Leon's named dropped again. I think I've introduced Matthew and Valentina before, I know I haven't introduced Connor, Noel, Ashe and Jesse before, that fic is still sat in my drafts.
#wwe#shawn michaels#the undertaker#wwf#hbtaker#undertaker x shawn michaels#shawn x undertaker#leon michaels#cassidy michaels#john cena#charlie doggo#the family of destruction fics#the family of destruction
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Connor x gn!reader
(Shopping HC's)
---requested---
Going shopping with our favorite Android is... Fun to say the least.
I'll put this post into 3 sections...
-groceries
-clothes
-random
Groceries:
Your first mistake was taking him to the grocery store... Anything you put in the cart, he'll analyse for quality, calories, vitamins etc.
"That package if strawberries is 264 calories, high in vitamin C, and K... Though I don't recommend eating more than a single serving size, as it can often cause stomach aches and diar-"
When you walk past the alcohol isle, his eyes already give his thoughts away.
He can and WILL reprimand you on purchasing alcohol. He'll list every single little risk that comes with it... He'll also question why tf humans like getting drunk.
(Don't even try to explain it. He won't get it)
Walking past the sweets isle is entertaining.
He's in awe at the bright colors, but also at HIW MANY DAMN CALORIES SOME OF THEM HAVE!
"why do humans like 'Milka chocolate'? It's high is fat, sugar AND has approximately 120 per piece!"
Just put your unhealthy snacks in there when he's not looking. Thank me later.
Clothes
Oh boy.
OHHHH BOY
Connor is a great companion to go clothes shopping with! I ain't kidding!
He'll tell you based off skin tone undertones, sized, styles, light, hair color etc. What would look best.
He'd also be your personal guard dog she you go into the dressing booths. Anyone who even walks close will get Connor's blank stare.
Connor also, is a perfectionist. So when you come out with a new outfit, hell correctly adjust it; look at it at different angles; analyse it for... Something?
And he'll come to the conclusion.
"You look phenomenal! Ideally I'd wear that with blue jeans and a nice summer hat"
And if you're trying on bikinis and/or bathing suits...
Connor.exe stopped working.
He'll try his best to remain calm and in his usual professional android mindset...
But God...
If he's allowed to properly adjust the clothing... He won't think twice... He just wants to get his hands on you😏
Extra
Gifts.
Whenever you're out, he'll buy you a little somethin'. Even if it's just flowers, or a card... He loves to see a smile on your cute face. <3
Ad mayyyybe with a little pleading and reassuring that a little bit of sugar is okay... He'll agree to getting an ice cream of slushie with you.
(but he still won't shut tf up about it being unhealthy)
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“My name is Connor. I am the android sent by Cyberlife.”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Seriously. FUCK!
Blame Pewdiepie and Jacksepticeye for these y’all. It’s their fucking faults… I saw so many YouTubers playing Detroit: Become Human but it wasn’t until Pewdiepie finally caved in that I watched his playthrough (which he thoroughly fucked up btw) and subsequently Jack’s (to get a much better ending). While the entire game is a master work, the other two titular characters stories aren't nearly as intriguing or as well rounded and had me sucked into this world.
Long story short, I never expected to grow obsessed with Connor and his story throughout this incredible game. Dammit, now I need a PS4. T____T
This gorgeous hunk of plastic won my heart with his big brown eyes, eagerness and adorable awkward way of conversing that clashes and melded perfectly with that of Lieutenant Anderson. Yet depending on the choices the player makes Conner can turn into this badass heartless robot he was built to be or a sweet cinnamon roll who begins to realize he’s far more than what he was intended to be -- he’s alive. Deviant is definitely the better way to play for many reasons but mostly because missing out on Hank and Connor’s bromance is a sheer travesty.
Connor and Hank have the most wonderful bromance/father-son dynamic I’ve ever seen in a video game, movie, or anything really. Hank goes from loathing the wide-eyed android to seeing him as a son. GAWD, such a wonderful game and story. T_T
If you have two plus hours to spare, you can watch Connor’s whole story.
Or if you’d rather just watch a few of Hank and Connor’s best emotional moments, I found this video that show some good ones but be warned. Connor dies….a lot.
The moments are nice but y’all need to watch the full playthrough -- it’s fucking worth it.
As far as these pictures are concerned, I Initially only planned on drawing one picture of it but before I knew it, I drew him three times. After not being able to draw much since I’ve been so busy this past 6 weeks, it was fun taking time to do these and putting out some more realistic-ish work.
I adore how they didn’t make him the stereotypical perfect android with flawless features -- I love his freckles, moles, and even some blotchiness on his skin, the stray strands of hair falling on his forehead -- all of it just makes him all the more beautiful. Dammit Bryan Dechart, you fucking gorgeous creature lol. Fictional characters like this are the reason why I’m so damn picky irl haha.
Anyway, I might do more of this but I’m not promising anything. If this isn’t your thing, I get it. I’m working on getting some more Sing stuff out soon. Love y’all and have a good one! xoxo
#detroit become human#detroit connor#connor#android#fuck#he's beautiful#bryan dechart you hunk#connor ain't just a snack#he's a fucking buffet#dat wink do#hank#hank anderson#hank conner bromance#father-son relationship#connor is hank's android son#fight me#gawd#his eyes are perfect#i'm in love with a fucking fictional robot#he lowkey could be a human version of Johnny too#those big brown eyes are everything#The picts I did are SO different#it's weird lol#i tried#first turtles#than gorillas#now robots#wtf#like#seriously
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