#compression straightjackets

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

WHUMP ALPHABET

*anything that can be triggering is most likely listed here, skip this post if you think it might upset you*

A is for asystole, amputation, amnesia, asphyxiation, asthma, autopsy, asylum, abandonment, anxiety, abuse, assault, aneurysm, anger, addiction

B is for blood, bruises, blunt force trauma, burns, bite marks, blisters, betrayal, beating, blindfolding, bondage, brainwashing

C is for cannibalism, cuts, convulsion, concussion, cardiac arrest, corpse, chains, cult, carnage, craniotomy, craniectomy, chest compression, choking, coughing up blood

D is for delirium, dehydration, disfigurement, dismemberment, demonic possession, death, dehumanization, degradation, depression, disease, drowning, distress, despair, dizziness, drug withdrawal

E is for exsanguination, electrical injuries, electroconvulsive therapy, electrocution, execution, exhaustion, eating disorders, emergency room

F is for fever, flu, fatality, flat-lining, fractured bones, fear, fatigue, force-feeding, flagellation, flogging

G is for garroting, gunshot wounds, grief, gallows, guillotine, guilt, gash, gag

H is for hypothermia, heatstroke, hallucination, hyperventilation, hemorrhage, handcuffing, hospital, hanging, hatred, hate

I is for intubation, infection, injuries, injection, illness, internal bleeding, intravenous therapy, insomnia, illusion, innards

J is for jealousy, jugular veins

K is for killing, kidnapping, knife

L is for laceration, lobotomy, ligature marks, lack of oxygen, loss of consciousness, lies, living weapon, locking up

M is for morgue, miscommunication, murder, manslaughter, massacre, mourning, miscarriage, masochism, mistreatment, manipulation, misery, mental illness, malnutrition

N is for nightmares, nausea, necrophilia, necrotizing fasciitis, necrosis

O is for outbreaks, obeying, operating theater

P is for physical restraints, pain, punishment, poison, panic attack, paralysis, PTSD, penetration, pierced lung

Q is for quadriceps tendon rupture, quadriparesis, Quebec platelet disorder

R is for ruptured blood vessels, respiratory failure, rabies, rape, rope, resentment, ritual

S is for schadenfreude, strangulation, starvations, shock collar, shock therapy, straightjacket, sadism, scapegoat, shame, sacrifice, sadness, sorrow, slaughter, suicide, self-harm, self-hatred, self-destruction, stabbing, slavery, seizures, stress, slash, suffering, surrendering, somnophilia, shackles, sepsis, surgery

T is for torture, trauma, tears, toxicity, trust issues, traps, tying up

U is for urinary tract infection, unresponsive, unconsciousness

V is for violence, vomiting, viruses, venom

W is for wounds, weeping, waterboarding, weakness, whipping, whimpering

X is for x-ray

Y is for yellow fever, yelling, yelping

Z is for zombie apocalypse

[midnightarcheress]

you panic.

pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader cw: reader's pov. panic attack, simon in protective mode, hurt/comfort ig? 6 | gold rush masterlist.

you couldn’t breathe. the room seemed small, walls closing in and trapping your limp figure inside of an endless nightmare, compressing your lungs until no air reached your alveolus. the mirror reflected the terror stamped on your face, bloodshot eyes staring at the terrifying warning that froze your blood flow and the trembling hands clutching to your arms, wrapping your torso like a straightjacket, desperately trying to pressure your body into disappearing from that reality.

up to this point, you’ve managed to control your fear. shove your worries aside, trust that nothing would trespass your walls and infinite security measures, promise yourself that it would never infest your brain, but that was the last straw. it was your home. you weren’t safe anywhere and it was just a matter of time until you’d be ripped to shreds in your own garden, crimson painting the destroyed flower beds and a golden crown placed on your head like a perfect corpse-bride.

your knees dropped to the frigid floor with a thud, dreadful mist clouding your vision as tears rolled down your cheeks. you couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, and the alcohol in your veins only managed to heighten the panic. your soul was floating out of your form, knocking on the bars of the prison, looking for a way out of the ordeal and hoping that it was just a hallucination. the loud thumps of your heart ringed in your ears, muffling Ghost’s attempts to get your attention.

the knot in your throat kept tightening, constricting your vocal cords until the only sounds that could be heard were your strained sobs. being in your own skin was overwhelming and you’d give it all to escape the well you were stranded in, but the water was rising quickly, covering your head and drowning any attempt at tranquillity.

“hey, i’m here,” Ghost said, trying to coax you back to the present, “just focus on my voice, can you take a deep breath for me?” 

your dilated pupils take the sight of him crouched on the floor and follow the movement of his chest, letting his low timbre pierce your eardrum and soothe your heartbeat. you mimic him, feeling the crisp air cursing through your nostrils, down your trachea and bronchi, finally having enough oxygen in your system. 

“can i touch you?” he asks, and you notice the concern behind his hazel irises. you can’t ignore the shame that came with your panicked state, breaking down in front of someone you barely know and who must’ve endured so much worse in his life. you hate feeling weak, frail, like you’d crumble by just one look, but you need comfort. need it so badly that you nod, allowing him to take your quivering hand in his.

his grip is firm, and despite the roughness of his palm, the touch is delicate, tender, enveloping you in gentle heat. you melt in his arms, pitiful sobs leaving your lips when you turn in nothing more than putty in that moment. “shh, i got you, everything will be alright,” he coos, doing his best to calm you, but you couldn’t believe him.

how could everything be alright? the last ounce of safety you had was just taken from you. “it’s my– it’s my home, Ghost,” you stutter, lifting your head to look at him, “i’m not safe in my own home anymore, i can’t–” another wave of tears flood your waterline, and you stop before finishing your sentence. the anxiety was still bubbling in your stomach, it was still too much to handle at once. 

“i know, love, i’ll get you out of here, trust me. nothing will harm you. now just breathe, okay? slow and steady.” his tone is light, almost ethereal, but unmistakably determined. it sounded more than just a phrase to pacify you. it was a promise. a vow. one made with his whole heart and he wouldn’t die before making sure you’re safe.

it takes a while before your brain settles back, slipping out of the hysteria. Ghost lifts you to your feet, taking a step back to give you some space. you sense him studying your expressions, wanting a hint of how to proceed. “what do you need?” he questions softly.

what do i need? the query lingers on your mind while he gazes at you. you're not sure. you never had an attack like this, never had an emotional collapse, never needed so much comfort. “i... don't know,” you gulp, glancing around the room and viewing the bathroom door, “i guess i could go for, uhm, a bath? it might help, right?”

he nods, pacing past you and walking through the door. you faintly hear the running water filling the bathtub and you strip off your heels, your clothes, let your hair fall down and your skin feel the cool air of the room. you shiver, but the tingling of the cold reminds you that you’re still alive, so there’s still a flimsy hope of peace in your future. 

you put on a robe and head to the bathroom, tip-toeing on the chilling tiles. Ghost moves to the exit, allowing you privacy in your vulnerable state, but your meek request makes him freeze on the spot. “can you... stay?” you sigh, “i’m scared of being alone right now.”

he pauses, not knowing how to answer, and you shift your weight from one leg to another, fingers fidgeting with the fluffy belt that holds your covering in place, regretting even asking for such a thing. “sure.” he clears his throat, taking a seat in the tiny wooden ottoman in the corner. the image is quite comical, the bulky man slowly leaning down to the stool as if one glance from him would crack the material, and a timid chuckle escapes your mouth.

his face turns to the side when you undo the knot of your robe and you feel the heat coming to your cheeks when you come to your senses. what the fuck did i ask? you’re bare, slipping into the warm water that was supposed to relieve your anxious mood, but that mainly swells your chest with embarrassment. 

you don’t know if you should be grateful that he’s not making a big deal of it, or sink in the tub due to the quiet – too quiet – atmosphere. Ghost is nothing but a gentleman at that moment, maintaining his head down and eyes away from your blurred naked body, so different from every man you’ve been near. they all seem to think that because you’re known, famous, whatever, you’re merely a doll on display for public use. it’s nice to not feel like an object.

after a long hour of letting the water purge your anguishes, you find yourself draped on a blanket on the sofa, sipping on a cup of chamomile tea that he, so heartily, prepared. he’s on the phone in the next room, and you don’t want to pry, but your ears unconsciously perk up to catch some of his words. he’s talking to someone named Price? something about a safe house? 

a few minutes later, he’s back, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “so, we’re gonna move,” your brows raised, confused by his statement, “talked to an old friend and i got you a safe place, you can stay there as long as you need, the bastard won’t find you. and i’ll be there with you all the time, okay?” he’s gonna stay with me?

rationally, you know it’s a good idea. you don’t feel protected in your house anymore, and having him constantly by your side would probably give your heart a rest and unburden your shoulders. but moving is a big thing for a life so regulated. “Dan–” 

“i’ll talk to him tomorrow, don’t worry,” he assures, putting a hand on your knee and giving you a small smile. your vision was so hazy before that you didn’t even notice that he had his mask down, and you find yourself musing on the curve of his lips. 

“thank you, Ghost.”

[meaninglessblah-writes]

6. "Be gentle, please." for Jay/Joker 😈

The way I screamed when this prompt hit my inbox. Thank you for your genius 😈

⚠️ Warning for dub/non-con elements

Jason's nails are worn down to the plate, rough despite all his scrabbling. Even now, blood wells to the surface of the nail bed, beading along the jagged white edges and staining them.

The words are gasped through chapped lips, forced out of a compressed diaphragm. "Gentle, please..."

The figure above him stops, buried to the hilt, and Jason flinches at the sudden cease. The hands on his hips grip tighter, and Jason's shoulders hunch as the man leans over him. He feels the wash of the orderly's breath when he asks, "What was that?"

Jason hates how small he feels, nails catching in the white cotton sheets of his bed when he curls his hands into tight fists. The mattress is a far cry from his old cell in the basement of this godforsaken institution. Jason tries not to complain, but the memories it conjures up, the stench of bleach and hospital-grade detergent, bring with it the reek of nausea on the back of his tongue.

He's taken too long to answer, Jason knows. The orderly grips a handful of his hair, ignoring Jason's whimper when he lifts his face out of the crumpled sheets. "Speak, invalid."

Jason swallows, and tries again, louder but more tentative: "Be gentle, please."

The orderly goes very still, and then he laughs, great guffaws that rattle Jason where they meet. Jason squeezes his eyes shut, bright red lips and too-pale skin dancing across the backs of his eyelids.

He straightens, his voice booming through Jason's small cell when he warns, "Hold tight, princess. Let me finish up, and I'll get the jacket for you. Show you how gentle I can really be."

Jason bites back a whine. He hates the straightjackets more than anything; the confined space and unyielding straps bring with it the phantom bite of barbed wire. A lifetime spent confined to a wheelchair, at the mercy of a psychopath.

The coo in his ear is softer, as gentle as Jason wishes the orderly would be. "I would've been gentle."

"Shut up," Jason mumbles into the sheets, and groans through a brutal thrust. The orderly is finding his tempo again, and Jason tilts his hips up, eager to be done.

The maniac chuckles, the rotten smell of his breath all-too-real in Jason's nose. "I was so gentle with you, wasn't I, little birdie?"

"Shut up," Jason begs, loud enough that the orderly sighs and stops again.

"What now? I didn't say anything," he snaps, and Jason stuffs the corner of his sheet into his mouth to stop himself revealing anything else. With a dismissive roll of his eyes, the orderly reaches up to grip Jason's shoulder, yanking him back onto his cock with each roll of his hips.

Jason pries his eyes open, gaze darting around the corners of his room, searching the shadows for a boogeyman who doesn't appear.

"I used to hold you so gently," the clown croons in Jason's ear, and turning the side of his head into the mattress doesn't muffle a word. "Nothing like this brute."

The orderly is frantic now, little grunts passing his gritted teeth as he nears his climax. Jason feels bruised and tender, from more than just the orderly's crushing grip.

Jason shudders when the clown's phantom tongue traces the shell of his ear. "We used to make love, didn't we, little birdie?"

You're not real, Jason whimpers to himself, biting down hard on his sheet as the orderly spills deep inside.

Prompt me again!

[revoueindia]

Shapewear: The Secret to Your Smoothest Self? Let’s Find Out!

Have you ever wondered what Shapewear is all about? You've heard the hype, but what's the actual deal? Let's explore the world of shapewear and see if it’s the missing piece in your fashion puzzle!

What Is Shapewear, Anyway?

So, what’s the big deal about shapewear? It’s like your personal body sculptor, but without the gym membership! Shapewear is a special kind of undergarment designed to smooth out your curves and give you that flawless shape.  Think of it as your body’s best-kept secret. Whether you’re looking for online body shaper options or the best shapewear for flat stomach, there’s something out there to fit your needs.

Why Should You Care About Shapewear?

Why bother with shapewear? Imagine it’s the day of your big event. You want to rock that outfit without any wardrobe malfunctions. Shapewear is here to help! It’s not about changing who you are, but about enhancing your natural curves and making you feel super confident. From plus size body shaper options to best tummy control shapewear, isn’t that what we all want? Is Shapewear Really a Good Idea?

Is Shapewear Really a Good Idea?

Is shapewear worth it? Absolutely—if you get the right fit! Whether you’re searching for high waisted shapewear or body shaper for women, shapewear can be your best friend for special occasions or daily wear. But, hold up—it's not magic. If you find the perfect size and style, it’s a game-changer. Just remember: comfort is key!

How Long Should You Wear Shapewear?

So, how many hours can you wear shapewear before it feels like a straightjacket? It’s best for short bursts. Think of it like a little fashion boost for special occasions or workdays. Overdo it, and you might find yourself longing for your comfy sweats. Listen to your body—it’s your best guide!

Who Should Give Shapewear a Pass?

Who should skip shapewear? If you have serious medical issues like digestive problems or circulatory conditions, shapewear might not be your best friend. Always check with a healthcare pro if you’re unsure. Shapewear is great, but not worth sacrificing your well-being!

How Does Shapewear Work Its Magic?

How does shapewear do its thing? It’s like a gentle squeeze that smooths out those little bumps and bulges. The stretchy fabric molds to your body, giving you a sleek look without turning you into a human sausage. Whether you’re using tummy control shapewear or seamless shapewear, it’s all about that compression magic !

Ready for Some Shapewear Tips?

Shapewear will require the selection of the right size during selection. Nothing should fit so tightly that you suffocate. Find something that adjusts comfortably to your body; this will help in highlighting your natural curves. Understand which style suits best for what, whether it is dressing under a dress or some control tummy panties. For every occasion, there is always a perfect option. Quality also matters-it will ensure the shapewear is of quality and withstood for a longer period. So, seek seamless body shapers. Shapewear is meant to enhance your appearance, not change who you are. Therefore, you don't need to think twice about wearing it; just sport it with confidence. Finally, take care of your pieces by following the washing instructions to keep them in great condition and never compromise on comfort. If it feels pinchy or pokey, then perhaps it is already time to change your decision. So, there you have it—a fun, quirky guide to shapewear! Ready to give it a try and see how it can work for you? Whether you’re prepping for a big night out or your just looking for a little extra smoothness this best tummy tucker or shapewear panties, shapewear could be your new BFF. Just remember, it’s all about enhancing what you’ve already got. Go on, embrace your shape with confidence!

[towfiqur]

The Best Gear for Travel

Traveling well is a fine balance between finding inspiration in the unknown while being grounded in something,” said Wirecutter founder Brian Lam. “Sometimes that is a memory of home, a family, a significant other, friends, etc. Sometimes it’s just the familiar, reliable stuff in your bag.”

Packing

A well-packed bag is one that contains less than you think you need but everything you actually need. If possible, fitting everything into one carry-on and personal item will give you more freedom compared to checking a bag or two. You’ll be glad you did if (and when) things don’t go according to plan.

 Consider this example from OneBag’s Doug Dyment: “I’ve been in situations where I’ve landed in Chicago on my way to New York and everything was snowed in, no flights were flying anywhere, but I was able to rent a car or take a train whereas everyone whose bags were being held hostage by the airlines were simply stuck.”

While carry-on-only isn’t feasible (or advisable) for every trip—especially extended business trips or weddings where you need multiple outfits to maintain appearances—if in doubt, it’s better to cut.

The Cotopaxi Allpa 35L features an easy-to-pack clamshell design and highly adjustable straps that make it a great all-around bag for any traveler who’s dedicated to packing light travel accessories, or for a smaller person who wants less to carry. Handles on all four sides of this bag make it easy to grab no matter where you’ve stowed it, and the Allpa’s straps are contoured to comfortably fit people who have large or small chests. It’s not a specifically gendered design, but our female tester noticed the improvement right away.

The bag is protected by a full lifetime warranty and has the build quality to back that up. Its front panel is made of a waterproof, TPU-coated 1,000-denier polyester (a strong fabric covered in a flexible plastic coating), which means you can lay it on its back in a wet field or in gravel without worrying about moisture soaking through or jagged edges ripping the fabric. The rest of the paneling is made with 1,680-denier ballistic nylon, which feels similar to a strong canvas but with a more prominent weave. After four years of testing, this single backpack (plus a personal item to store under the seat) has replaced nearly every travel  accessories bag or piece of luggage that Kit Dillon, Wirecutter’s senior staff writer who covers luggage, uses.

Compression sacks

Originally designed for reducing the bulk of lofty sleeping bags, compression sacks are stuff sacks modified with additional nylon end caps that can be pulled together by strings or straps to remove air and create a smaller, denser package that’s easier to pack. Most travelers use compression sacks to condense socks, underwear, and other stuff you don’t mind getting wrinkled into a package with half as much overall volume. For example, an 8- to 12-liter sack can compress a fleece jacket and a long-weekend’s worth of socks and underwear into something that fits in one hand. They also make a decent pillow in a pinch.Most compression sacks require you to empty out the stuff at the top to get to the stuff below it, but the side-zipper design on the Osprey StraightJacket allows access to the entire contents of the bag at once. The compression straps attach sideways, and are less likely to get tangled and twisted like on most compression sacks with lengthwise straps. It can also sit up on its own, and the handle design lets you break it out as a last minute carry-on to avoid an overweight-baggage fee. However, it doesn’t compress down as compactly as the traditional designs we tested so it’s not the best option if compression is your top priority.

Flip-flops

A good pair of travel accessories flip-flops should be lightweight, cheap, and flat. That way they’re easy to take wherever and it won’t matter if you lose them. After testing the super popular Havaianas, Ipanemas, Crocs, and Old Navy flip-flops, our pick is the Havaiana Top (for men and women). These high-density PVC Brazilian classics are world-renowned for their durability, affordability, and reliable traction, even when wet. They weigh just 150 g, compared to the 220 g Ipanemas. They pack down to almost nothing, unlike the big and boaty Crocs. And while other cheap flip flops can get squeaky when wet, the Havaianas stay mostly silent, which is why they’re so popular in beach towns all over the world. Ultimately, this is what earned them the pick over our previous pick from Old Navy.

Neck pillow

The uniquely angled back on the Travel accessories Ultimate sets it apart from other travel pillows we tested because it can lay flat against the seat back. Most other pillows have a rounded back, which pushes your head away from the headrest. The Travelrest also has rubber grip dots to prevent slipping while sleeping. This pillow’s spongy memory foam cushions the entire circumference of your neck, preventing your head from leaning far in any direction, and its adjustable Velcro strap ensures it can fit most necks. The pillow’s cozy velour exterior is removable and machine-washable. Although it doesn’t pack flat, the Travel accessories weighs less than a pound and compresses to a quarter of its size when rolled into its Velcro-strapped carrying case. Our only complaint is that the Travelrest’s high walls, though supportive, can push over-ear headphones off of the ears of people with shorter necks.

Noise-cancelling headphones

The Bose Noise Canceling Headphones 700 over-ear set has the most versatile active noise cancellation we’ve ever tested. With 10 levels of noise reduction to choose from, everyone should be able to find a setting that meets this travel accessories. We also enjoyed the lightweight and comfortable design and the easy-to-use controls. What distinguishes the Bose 700’s ANC is the amount of adjustability it gives you: Most noise-canceling headphones offer controls for only on/off or maybe high/low/off, but with the Bose 700 pair you can set the ANC level from 0 to 10, so you have more flexibility to dial in the ideal setting for your comfort. The 20-hour battery life, while not the best we’ve seen, is more than sufficient to get you to most destinations. We have additional options—including earbuds and surprisingly good budget options for over-ear headphones and earbuds—in our full guide to noise-canceling headphones.

[whump-a-la-mode]

Could we pretty please get a villain whumpee in a straightjacket?

Oh I had so many ideas for this one, so I hope you like what I came up with! It’s a bit of a different kind of whump, but I hope it’s still good :3

CW//Dehumanization, baby talk, medical settings, straightjackets, medical malpractice

Villain hardly got to see the outside of the building.

Nearly as soon as the vehicle sped up to its front, they were trundled from its interior, feet stumbling to asphalt for a moment before the privilege of walking was taken from them-- their body swept up in a pair of strong arms.

They hated being carried. No, there was not enough strength in that word. They detested it. Loathed it. Those weren’t enough either. No, they felt that, if they were to encapsulate their sheer fury at the situation with language, they would need to begin digging in dictionaries of obscure Kanji.

But there was no time for that, because they were being carried right now.

Usually, Villain would have struggled. Writhed and squirmed until they were dropped to the floor. Or thrown. Whichever happened quicker.

Yet, unfortunately, at that very moment, there was no time for that either. No. At the moment, there were much more acutely focused on an emotion other than rage. One that went by the name of terror.

Every villain knew of the Metropolis Rehabilitation Center for Extraordinary Cases. After all, they were the extraordinary cases.

But no one ever thought they would see the thing in person. Much less be carried into it by Hero, of all the noble, goody two shoed assholes.

It was a gargantuan structure-- towering blocks of concrete, stacked upon each other, and covered with shimmering white tile, bright enough to blind anyone who dared to look upon it directly. There was one thing worse than that tile, surface dancing like freshly fallen snow.

The only thing worse than the Center’s exterior was its front door. The pair of them, in fact, glass and steel. That fact was terrifying in and of itself. Being close enough to those doors to examine them was a fate no villain expected to ever have to face.

The second time that Villain began to thrash, there was no fury in it. Nothing was locked around their body, not a chain or cuff in sight, but Hero’s grip was more than enough to turn the menace of the city into the much larger equivalent of a kitten, held by the scruff of its neck.

“Let me go! I don’t want to go!” Their thoughts flew from their mouth as freely as their panicked voice. “T-The prison! Wouldn’t that be much better?”

“Come on.”

The villain shivered at the soft voice, a second quiver shaking their spine when a hand stroked its way through their sweat-soaked hair.

“They’ll love you here.” Hero’s voice curled, coaxing a frightened dog. “I’m sure you’re be their new favorite.”

There wasn’t an ounce of perceptible mockery in the tone. As though a hero genuinely gave the slightest shit. As if they weren’t taking them to the place half-drunken villains told horror stories about, only to be accused of fabrication. ‘It can’t possibly be that bad.’

But everyone knew, everyone knew full well, that there was no falsehood in those stories.

They didn’t want to be a favorite. They were a villain! Even as they approached the double doors, Villain could not help but fantasize about the 10 foot high walls of the Metropolis Villainous Correctional Facility, topped with their electrified barbed wire.

It would be horrible, certainly, but it wouldn’t be the Center!

Yet, with a tinny bell, the hellish building’s entrance swung open.

Inside, the Metropolis Rehabilitation Center for Extraordinary Cases smelled like flowers. The particular scent was unrecognizable-- neither rose nor marigold, lavender or coral-bell. Yet, the aroma was overwhelming.

Villain’s struggling turned to thrashing.

The walls were blue. A light, baby blue, with a sickeningly joyful air about it. Abstract paintings and plaques hung along hallways and lobby walls, marked by tacky statements of motivation.

‘Mistakes are proof that you are trying.’

‘Make it happen!’

‘I can and I will.’

The captive villain felt sick. Their straining was useless, not gaining them an inch of freedom even as it cost them feet of dignity. Not that they expected to keep hold of that for long.

The lobby itself was bright, disgustingly colorful. The walls were lined with chairs painted in blinding technicolor, while the front desk itself danced with decals of butterflies and birds.

“Let me go!” Another screech tore itself from their throat.

A receptionist, lab-coat the color of a summer sunflower, looked up with a warm smile.

“I see our newest friend is here.” They chirped. “I’ll call up our welcoming party.”

“No need!”

From one of various, straight hallways, clattering footsteps sounded. Two lab coats, dyed in that same sickening, jaundiced color, ran forward at a jog. Shame forgotten, Villain buried their face in Hero’s chest. Anything to not have to see the doctors. Anything.

“Oh, what a cutie!” One of the lab coats exclaimed. “Aren’t they a sweetheart?”

“Oh, Villain, you’re going to have so much fun here.” A second voice smiled.

“I’m sure they are.” Hero’s hand stroked once more through their hair, though it did nothing to aid their incessant trembling. “Come on, bud, there’s no reason to be scared.”

“I fucking hate you!”

Three voices turned to roaring laughter.

“Come on, they’ve even brought you something.”

“Yeah.” One of the doctors chirped. “It’s a nice jacket, to keep you warm. We don’t want you getting cold.” Their tone switched on its head, from high-pitched to clinical, as they whispered: “Put them down, please.”

Gently, Villain felt themself lowered to the floor. In an instant, they were kicking out, struggling, straining, screaming and screeching. Their attempts to get to their feet, however, were thwarted by firm hands on their shoulders and a leg across their own.

They didn’t need to see the jacket to know what it was. As soon as the canvas touched their skin, they knew. Yet, it was a three on one. No amount of hysterics could stop the sleeves from slipping onto their arms, compressing their hands against the sewn-shut ends. Leather rubbed against metal buckles, canvas ribbing against itself, as, with terrifying speed, the jacket was applied.

The straightjacket.

It was far too taut, tight enough that, in their hyperventilation, Villain felt that it made them unable to breathe.

“Take it off!” They wailed. They noticed only then that the garment around them now was dyed the same color as the walls-- that unnerving, baby blue.

“Shh, shh, it’s just a jacket, buddy.” The hand in their hair was unfamiliar and nerve-wracking.

They had their legs, still. Only half of them pulled in terrible, suffocating tightness. Fury focused, Villain kicked out, desperate to get their legs under them.

They had no chance.

And, of course, their last ounce of dignity had to be wrought from them.

Villain’s shoes had been lost hours ago, though they couldn’t remember the exact scenario. Perhaps during the fight, perhaps afterwards, when they were thrown into the car and harnessed to its restraints.

It didn’t matter. To the doctors, so it seemed, all that mattered was that they could stand. And, to them, that was a problem.

They looked like socks, and, going on, they felt to be as such. Yet, as Villain at last got their feet under them, they realized otherwise. The bottom of the garments seemed to be formed in such a way that, when they tried to stand, their legs shook with the effort of simply retaining their balance. The curves and form of their feet, countered by fabric and plush.

“W-What the- What did you-” Villain gasped.

“Oh, those are just your wobblers, honey.” One of the lab coats smiled. “See? They make you wobble!”

“I’m gonna fall, you piece of shit!”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear.” Another voice, followed by a pair of arms, braced against their back. “You won’t fall. We’re here to help.”

“I don’t want your help!”

“This one’s funny.” The voice came with a smile. “Come on, then.”

Another pair of arms, practically lifting them. Their legs felt to be singed by lapping flames from the strain upon their muscles alone.

“We have a room all set up for you! And once you get your medicine, you’ll feel so much better.”

“So, so much better.”

It was with hysterical shrieks, rapidly weakening, that the patient that had once been Villain was helped down the hallway.

They would never again see the outside of the building. The nice doctors would make sure of that!

[jeannettegray]

I hate sweaters with every fiber of my being. They feel like straightjackets to me, any size and any fiber and any model. I hate wearing them and I hate that it’s impossible not to wear them in fall and especially winter because the alternative for my weak-ass chronically-sick lungs is pneumonia.

Summer is when I can wear nothing but very thin loose dresses or shorts and tank tops and I can breathe freely and feel the warm breeze on my skin. And people try to convince me that getting compressed into thick layers is better.

“But when it’s cold you can cover up, when it’s hot there is nothing you can do!”

You can absolutely do things to cool down when it’s hot. Cold showers, cold drinks, reusable ice bricks, cold towels, cold water on your wrists and ankles and feet.

[vs-redemption]

Daichi, Bakugo, Mr. Compress, Yami, Julius and Hinata?

This is such a great group of characters! Thank you anon! I had so much fun with this!

Push off a cliff: Gotta be Julius. He’s the wizard king. I’m sure he can figure out a way to survive the fall. I have faith in him. No hard feelings my dude.

Kiss: Yami. Admittedly, I should be concerned about cigarette breath, but all I can think about is being embraced in those big strong arms. yum!

Marry: Daichi. No way around that one. Although I’m not the only one who claims him as a husband, I can’t imagine putting this perfect man in any other category. Please, live a life of bliss with me Mr. Sawamura.

Set on Fire: Mr. Compress, and I will tell you why. He’s the next Houdini, right? Dump him at the bottom of the ocean wearing a straightjacket and locked in a safe and he’d be able to escape unharmed. Plus he’s friends with Dabifer, the pyro maniac, so I’m sure he wouldn’t bat an eye at a little fire. 

Wrap a blanket around: Hinata. What else am I supposed to do with a precious little bean?

Be roommates with: Of course, Bakugo. He’s the obvious choice. He goes to bed at a reasonable time, and seems responsible enough to clean up after himself. Even if he does have his crazy friends over, he’s not afraid to crack down on them to keep them in line. Plus, he cooks. It’s a perfect situation.

ASK ME ABOUT SIX CHARACTERS

[tanadrin]

under a cut because long, disorganized, self-indulgent

ok so the Lende Empire isn’t really feudal; I despise feudal stasis in fantasy, like even the shortest timeline puts the Andal invasion at more than 2,000 ybp in Game of Thrones, you really think in all that time everybody on the continent is dumb enough to not invent a better plough? or glass just good enough to grind lenses? or make small improvements in windmill design? and all that shit adds up and BAM before you know it, you've got metallurgy good enough to make a steam engine with, so no matter what BS magical physics you come up with, if things work at the human scale even remotely like they do in our world, your age of knights and castles and dragons not having to contend with antiaircraft guns has a limited shelf-life.

(and that's interesting! And more people--by which i mean people besides Terry Pratchett, who did this wonderfully--should write about high fantasy worlds before they reached Medieval Stasis Mode, and after they left it! I would fukkin kill to read a good high fantasy book that also had, like spaceships in it. Insofar as genre conventions have evolved not according to the internal logic of the worlds they depict but according to how and for what reason they serve as commentaries on specific aspects of our own world and its history, and are aimed at evoking certain emotions, it's understandable why such generic mishsmashes are relatively uncommon. But people also definitely read speculative fiction because they like internally cohesive worlds very different from our own, so it is my fondest hope that this sort of thing becomes more popular going forward)

(you can of course also have fantasy worlds which are *not* very much like our own world at human scale. Greg Egan actually does this in a science fiction mode, but as long as you're positing a world where dimensions of space are hyperbolic like time or where humans change sex every time they have sex because trading a detachable symbiotic penis is part of having an orgasm, whether you call this stuff "different science" or "magic" is really beside the point. I have an idea I've been batting around for a while about a world divided, like Evan Dahm's Overside, or the two parallel worlds in Fringe, except part of the division is not just physical, but metaphysical. Morality itself in each subworld is defective, because each subworld got a different part of a morally and metaphysically unified whole: thus, for reasons nobody can understand, almost every ethical system derived by people resident in only one subworld is deeply defective, and would be horrifying to us--as though, perhaps, our own complex and nuanced moral landscape that we wrestle with was a kind of grand unified theory whose symmetry had been broken, and which was only understood piecemeal, as totally separate concepts. And of course, if you live in one subworld everyone from the other subworld is a horrifying monster whose morality is totally incomprehensible to you, so you reflexively treat them as an enemy.)

History isn't just one thing after another. I mean, okay, it is, but it's *also* the aftereffects of those things, the things that stick around forever and can't be gotten away from. And just like how if you want to understand our own world you need to look at what it was like five years ago, and to understand what it was like five years ago you need to look at what it was like ten years ago, and fifteen, ad nauseam, until you're suddenly back at World War II, or the Holy Roman Empire, or Sumer, or struggling through the ever-increasing fog of a steadily more ambiguous archeological record, well, this is as true for politics and language as it is the material aspects of society. In the same way maps feel insufficient when the artist doesn't think about what's beyond the edge of the page (not to knock on GRRM too much, but if you put all the continents and seas in his world on the same map, you notice they're all really... rectangular. Like he drew them to fit individual pieces of paper. Rivers and island arcs get compressed when they near a margin. Seas are just voids. Nothing ever has to be moved to a little box in a corner to fit. there's no attempt at verisimilitude), I think invented worlds feel insufficient when the writer asks you to take them seriously as a reflection of our own, or an aspect of our own, but neglects to at least suggest their place in a larger whole.

I wanted with the Lende Empire to have something that still let me have a lot of early centuries of sword-and-horse style adventures (because i started writing about Lende when I was thirteen and had just finished the Silmarillion for the second time), and I wanted when writing its history to still be able to take big chunks of story I stole from Norse legends and medieval poetry and dump them almost whole into the setting, but I also wanted the history not to read like a fantasy history--or not just a fantasy history. What I mean is, when you read something like the Silmarillion, or when a character in a fantasy world relates some legend to you, even if it's referred to as an old and ambiguous tale, you still often feel like that's really what happened. Like, for me, one of the chief emotional attractions to something like the tales of the wars of the Goths and Huns, or Beowulf's description of Migration Age Denmark filtered through Anglo-Saxon poetic tropes, or the Icelandic family sagas, is that we really have a hard time knowing how much of it is true, how much of its is plausible embellishment, and how much of it is anachronistic nonsense or pure bullshit. Is the Njala based on a faithfully recounted tradition passed down orally for a few hundred years? Who knows! Not us. We know a guy named Njal got burned in his house around 1000 AD, but much of the mystery and the poignancy of stories like that for me lies in the difficulty of ascertaining their relationship to the truth.

What I want(ed) was something that when you read it made you think "ok, obviously the narrator is trying their best, but even they don't know exactly what the fuck happened; this is probably one third ambiguous tradition, one third solid, one third bullshit." So the Chronicle of Lende has some stuff in it that's intentionally difficult to reconcile. It has weird tonal shifts. The first third owes a lot to the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle and the sagas and the Hildebrantslied; the middle is closer to the Silmarillion, or the history of Rome when told more from the Great Man perspective than the Impersonal Forces one, and the last third starts out that way but goes some weird places and veers off at the end to what is obviously a symbolic and highly abstracted mode of narration which, in relating the destruction of the Empire imitates the way in which its beginning is related (for in-universe Thematic Reasons), *but* while all this is going on, the hope is that the reader is *also* able to glimpse through these ambiguities and stylistic quirks, and incompatibilities, and weird digressions involving talking animals or the spirit world, a society that's undergoing familiar demographic and social and technological transitions: moving from oral culture agrarianism to the beginnings of a real urban civilization, with a centralized state and the written word, and like Western Europe having to figure out a social structure in the absence of any good nearby imperial models (they end up with something more like fraternal warrior societies being deputized to control land rather than feudal lords, but the essential logic is the same); but then moving to a real model of administrative statehood, as infrastructure and technology improve, before industrialization kicks off, the population explodes, social tensions inherent in that begin tearing at the seams of society, and the horrors of industrialized warfare are unleashed.

There are meant to be striking differences, too, of course. Lende history is only about a thousand Earth years long, and it's confined mostly to the western side of a continent split by a huge, Himalayan-like mountain range. Its rapid rise and increase in technological sophistication are due to exogenous factors (genuine divine intervention in some cases), and equally even the True Secret History of the empire's destruction has no real-world parallels, at least not since the Channeled Scablands formed 14,000 years ago. It's also teeeechnically science fiction and not fantasy, though that distinction really rests on tone and not on setting IMO. But I don't think it's possible to tell what feels like a real history of a world without sometimes radically changing genres: our own history goes from dry science (geology, paleontology, archeology) to legend and myth and scripture, to dusty old classical history and books penned by ancients who sometimes have startlingly different notions about what merits mention in a story and how to tell one, to tales of kings and queens and conquerors, before emerging blinking in the sunlight of dry matter of fact narration again. I have always believed conventions, including those of genre and style, should be tools and not straightjackets. The best worldbuilding literature I have read steals from a huge variety of sources (and Pratchett deserves a mention here again, alongside Susanna Clarke, and Ada Palmer, and the people who wrote the Elder Scrolls backstory, and Sofia Samatar, and Angelica Gorodischer).

[gayanesespicycake]

Blog Post #2

I will never forget the first time that I saw the video “Firework.” I remember watching it for the first time on my parent’s computer, with my Carribean grandmother sitting behind me. I remember watching with baited breath for “the scene,” the one all of my classmates had talked about in various tones of awe and disgust, unsure what was upcoming, unsure how to feel. And then it happens. Two men kiss. And I hear from behind me my grandmother yell out, and say, “Gal! Me ne want to see no batty-boys!

I will never forget not just her tone, the venom in her words, but the words that she used. I tried to look it up later on, but didn’t see anything in Patois to describe queer people other than slurs. Was there no way to be queer and brown in the same breath, to love someone without having to refer to that love in words dipped in hate?

I really loved  Picq and Cottet’s piece on the translation of queerness into languages other than English, because it was fascinating to see queerness portrayed in a non-Western context. For an identity that has existed in every culture through centuries of history, we have someone crafted and created a narrative that only the Western, English reckoning of the LGBTQ identity is the right one, and is one that captures all aspects of queerness. I remember thinking of my grandmother’s slurs, and trying to wonder if there was a queer in Hindi or a way to speak of it in Patois, and the article beautifully encapsulated the strife of trying to translate one’s identity into a space it doesn’t belong, like trying to cram a straightjacket onto a person too tall, the fabric ripping at the seams, unable to hold the weight of centuries of culture and identity being compressed into a single fitted and tailored box. 

In Edenborg’s piece of Putin, we see yet another example of this same rhetoric, where in the guise of traditional values, queerness is not only supresed but lamented as a weakness, a lacking of character, a bowing of sorts to the Western usurpers attempting to rewrite native histories and cultures. 

In coming of age in America, I struggled a great deal with my sexuality, in knowing how to own brownness and queerness in one space, in finding a way where I could be something other than straight in a brown space and still have a place. In radical spaces, we were told that white folks were the colonizers and the oppressors, and that included white queer people. In that same breath, it was the white queer community who I believed was writing the narrative of what it was to be queer in America, and without embracing that within a space, was there ever going to be a way to find a home, a sense of self that was not constantly under scrutiny? What part of myself would I have to erase to finally belong?

Helen Gao’s piece highlights as well the consequences of that suppression, what it looks like to hold back the entirety of a community, to restrain and collar them to the point of submission. What happens when in trying to shun Western queerness, your country and culture creates a queerness of its own, something not othered but revered and adored, something that becomes embedded within pop culture and phenomenon? China’s “little fresh meat” are an example of that - men in makeup, performing artists stars who refuse to be hidden, who popular media is unable to stomp out, despite the best efforts of the regime in power. Even with Jinping banning “abnormal” individuals from television or blurring out earrings on men, the love and support that these performers have received has dwindled little, especially within some of the most important voting groups.

In trying to understand the questions of global queerness, I wonder how much we can impact the narrative if we create space for queerness that is untranslatable? Picq and Cottet highlight within their piece an identity that doesn't fit within the English grouping of LGBTQ, called the Sangomas. They are described as, …”traditional healers who are women with dominant male ancestral spirits, and who choose women lovers.” Rather than trying to ascribe Western ideals of queerness to them, what if we normalize allowing folks to exist within the different, allow their own words to write the litanies of their story? What if we spent less time translating words and instead we began to pepper English and other languages with the stories and cultures around us? Let there be words that have no meaning and no translation, that exist not for our understanding but for the sake of those they define. Let us give those who claim that queerness is a weapon of the West no more ammunition to create hostility for communities around the world, and let us finally work on creating a global identity for the queer community and beyond. My grandmother may not have the words to see or accept me now, but maybe with the right words, we can see that change, and create the space to reconnect all those families who have been lost in translation.

[buttonmains]

Osprey aether

OSPREY AETHER ZIP

The Aether AG 60’s upright shape and snug back panel keep weight closer to the body than both the Dakine Poacher 45 and the Osprey Argon 85. Throughout my testing period in the Aether AG 60, I carried loads from 15 to 65 pounds and was very impressed by the pack’s versatility across this range (for an extended backpacking trip, I’d probably be comfortable with loads up to 55 lbs). Jed Doane in the Osprey Aether AG 60, Solukhumbu, Nepal. When carrying loads of equivalent weight, the Aether AG 60 was significantly more comfortable than the old Osprey Argon 85, which I’ve loved for many years but doesn’t feature the Anti-Gravity system. Overall, I was thoroughly impressed by the Anti-Gravity system - it snugly hugged my hips and lower back and provided ample ventilation during muggy Himalayan days. Osprey Aether AG 60 - backpanel & suspension Additionally, there are stiff straps that extend from the shoulder to provide a secure fit and distribute the load evenly. The shoulder straps are well-padded but light, and the tapered design includes more padding higher on the shoulders where you need it.Īs mentioned earlier, the Aether AG 60 utilizes Osprey’s new Anti-Gravity suspension system, which consists of a mesh wrap that extends from the hip belt all the way to the shoulders and is designed to contour tightly to any user’s back. As a result, the pack almost stays on by itself with just the tension from the hip straps, even when they’re unbuckled. The hip belt provides adequate cushioning and support without any uncomfortable rubbing, and the tensioned mesh of the Anti-Gravity suspension system helps keep the hip belt very snug around your waist. The Aether AG 60’s hip belt and shoulder straps are very comfortable. If you don’t fit perfectly into the correct size at first, it’s also easy to make smaller adjustments to the torso length as needed, and the hip belt and straps are also interchangeable, which is worth noting if your torso length and waist size don’t correspond to the same pack / hip belt size. My back length is 19” and I fit well into the Medium, though my waist (32”) was almost too small for the Medium’s hip belt. Osprey’s technical packs generally come in three sizes, and it’s wise to measure the size of your back using their fit guide to get an idea of which size would work best for you. In order to see how Osprey’s revamped Aether performed, I tested the Aether AG 60 for over a month while trekking in the Nepal Himalaya, where I used it as my only bag for both travel and backpacking. The new “AG” version features an interesting brain that converts into a daypack Osprey’s new ventilation-focused “Anti-Gravity” suspension system and several other unique features. Osprey’s new Aether AG line builds on the success of the original Aether, which was one of Osprey’s bestselling backpacking bags for hauling heavy loads.

OSPREY AETHER ZIP

Side panel zip access to main compartment.Integrated FlapJacket™ cover for lidless use.Zippered sleeping bag compartment with removable divider.Dual ice tool loops with bungee tie-offs.Dual front compression straps with StraightJacket™ compression.Stow-on-the-Go™ trekking pole attachment.Removable top-lid converts to DayLid™ daypack.

[4k3minsblog]

In this episode we have introduced a poem. At first it was to fill in and then we came across a site, poemhunter.com.  Thousands of poems are published there and at 4K3mins, we prefer unknown artists to sure values. There are, of course, reasons of cost, of copyright administration, but there is also a taste for risk. 

If they serve you well known mysic, celebrities, lots of half-naked and half-dressed individuals moving their assed, it's too easy.

Finally, the trick is to tell you that in the next episode, chapter 2 will be a poem!

In the meantime, the transcription of Uriah Hamilton's poem, below:

Loud rock music in the midnight steamy air,

Beer bottles and lust in the city,

Girls dance on barroom tables

And sway sweetly beneath streetlights;

Everyone is intoxicated with joy and desire,

Trying to live a thousand dreams in a single night,

Trying to compress a hundred orgasms

Into the excitement of a few happy movements of breath.

More often than not, we get the straightjacket life,

Insults and painful insinuations, the cutting knife,

The gloomy responsibilities of adulthood

That rot the soul, but what a lovely smile

In the brief hour of pleasure that causes the world

To temporarily disappear with her shrill cruel voice.

Uriah Hamilton

 Friday, December 1, 2006

Link to the poem,

[spellyjane]

Big Island Splash, Mash, Dash!

Belated Aloha, forgive me for taking two weeks to write this!

I thought we had landed on the moon as I descended the plane stairs onto the island of black volcanic rubble. After nine plus hours of flying I had arrived at Triathlon Mecca, Kona, a little town on a wisp of land in the middle of a massive ocean, noisy with wind and hot as hades.

Hawaii is halfway between Sydney and Chicago so provided the perfect location for a rendezvous with my Dad whom I had not seen for over a year. (Aww, thanks for coming and sharing this with me Dad. ×××)

“Downtown” Kona is small and super cute but that week was COMPLETELY overrun with compression-wear trussed, trucker hat clad, slightly weather beaten, uber athletic types. I almost fit right in.

I was pleased to get up and out of the hype on my first night, having a home cooked meal with my dear friends Ben and Lillian at their B&B located on a flower farm way above Kona. Ben and Lillian are a fab couple I met running in Jersey City. I laughed off their prediction back in 2013 after my first 70.3 that I would one day race at Kona, thinking of course that will never happen because I will NEVER do an Ironman. I was beyond flattered to receive a message from these guys on my return home from IM Texas with my IMWC slot secured, telling me that they had booked their flights to Kona! Just wow.

At the suggestion of a friend I had signed up for the big charity Underpants run. Yes! Why not? It is for charity, I figured that if I had to endure running along behind ironmen in their tighty whities, well it would be worth it, for the charity of course. I wore a pair of huge granny dacks sporting a kangaroo waving an Aussie flag on the butt and dragged my poor Dad to the start line. He did not run, just observed… (that sounds way more creepy that it really was.) I met up with some friends Mike, a seasoned Kona participant and Jeff a green Kona rookie just like me.

We had a hoot, Mike and Jeff were happy to be stuck behind the Coeur Team girls, how shallow, I mean really? Post run “analysis” and breakfast at Evolution hit the spot. Oh a tip for Underpants Run rookies I gleaned from post race observation: sweaty tighty whities may leave you exposing a whole lot more than you anticipated.

Simon arrived on the Thursday. We had decided to leave the kids solo in Chicago… just kidding, our friends Alex and Theresa stepped in there. Theresa was so super cute, she called the schools to make sure the boys got there ok, drove the boys to their after school triathlon sessions and gave up their whole weekend too! What a load off our minds, we were so grateful.

I was able to squeeze in some down time. Dad, Simon and I spent Thursday afternoon sitting on the lanai of our apartment sipping a beer, watching the sun go down, taking a million photos and solving the world’s problems. I don't get to chill with my Dad too often, spending time with my Dad like that has left a warm little glow in my heart. It was one of my favorite moments of the trip. (My Dad hates being in photos, but I do manage to snag him in a few pics on this trip.)

As amiable and easy going as you all know me to be, I knew I would be prone to a little pre Ironman World Championships fretting. I did not want to expose my loved ones to my potential dragon lady side so I sent Simon and Dad off to explore Volcano National Park on the other side of the Island on Friday. A rather unwelcome visitor arrived on Friday, perhaps the best euphemism I can use is “Aunt Flo”, what a cow, she was not invited and I was not expecting to see her. She threw me in a bit of a spin, but I pulled it together and added dealing with that to my race plan.

I got my race gear together, checked my bike and checked in. What an awesome hype! I had forgotten that I had listed my occupation on the Ironman registration form as “Secret Agent.” As I walked down the red carpet to check in they called me out, “Here is Kelly Phuah, she is competing in the women’s 45-49 age group…” [pause] “she is a secret agent!” Haha, cover blown!

I was welcomed into Transition by my very own volunteer escort, Craig. Craig and his wife,  from Seattle, have been coming to the big Island for the last 10 years to volunteer for IMWC!

Whaaat!? I know right? Gulp, I felt a little overwhelmed at that moment. I racked my bike, hung my transition bags.  Then I stood for a few moments on the red carpet, I let myself feel special for being there before heading off to eat and find an air conditioner!

I found my friend Mike and we talked race stuff and spectator logistics tips while sipping protein shakes with our feet up. It was the perfect pre race afternoon.

Dinner that night was right down in the middle of all the action at Honu’s, overlooking the athlete area and swim start with Ben, Lillian, Dad and Simon. There was much discussion over the spectator plans and I shared my hopeful race splits to help them know where I would be at certain times. I was worried about how the day was going to be for everyone who had come all that way to watch. I knew it would be a long hot day for them too.

I had to have the Hawaiian Pizza, oh wow, caramelized pineapple and kalua shredded pork, It was awesome!

I got antsy all of a sudden in the middle of dinner when I realised that I was doing a freaking Ironman the next day. I rushed our farewells with Ben and Lillian and dragged Dad and Simon home. I have no clear memory of going to bed or how I slept, my mind just leaps to Simon and I driving down Alii Drive at 4am!

Race Day

Goal: under 11hrs.

Gosh, how much detail can you handle? Do I make it sound epic and glamorous? I guess if you are reading this then you are either a really good friend or a weird triathlon junkie so I will just give you the ugly truth.

Treading water with 600 other women waiting for the start canon was crazy. Everyone was apologetically kicking each other. I looked back at the crowd on the shore and the pier and let the swell of excitement pick me up. I sighted the 1st boat and wiggled a little closer to the front. The cannon boomed and we turned from polite and apologetic to tiger sharks. I was kicked, swam over and grabbed, I had to restart my watch 3 times because the stop button was kicked. I am quite sure I did my fair share of kicking others too, it was impossible not to. And at one stage I found myself laying completely on top of another athlete, I have no idea where she,came from!

I found my rhythm eventually and was able to start really swimming. By about half way I could feel my speedsuit cutting into my neck and throat as I was sighting and turning to breathe. It left quite a good chafe and I looked like I had been strangled. I snuck a peak at my watch as we made the turn at the boats, I was happy to see I was on schedule for my goal of a sub 70min swim. I was enjoying the water, it was clear and fairly calm. I could see the bottom. I picked out a blue swim cap on the bottom and wondered if it’s owner was down there too. I made the last push to the pier and grabbed the stairs, I ripped off my speed suit with glee and made my way around to T1 on wobbly legs.

1:09:42

I rinsed off my face with some fresh water, grabbed my bag and dove into the tent, and with the help of another volunteer it was suit off, socks on, shoes on, glasses on, food in pocket, loo stop #1 and out to my bike. Helmet on and go go go.

4:44

Yay!! Spotted my posse as I took off on the bike.

Lol, my Dad showing me the way to go…

I settled in and got out onto the Queen K thinking ok Kona, show me what you’ve got, bring it, do your worst.

I had a plan, hold watts for an IF around .68-.69. Yeah, naa, that just did not feel right. I was hot and pushing those watts just felt a little more taxing than it should so I backed off a little and kept a closer eye on my effort than my watts. I guess the wind was kind because even at the lower watts I was still on schedule for a 5:40 bike.

The best tip from Mike, stay wet all day. So at every aid station I was grabbing a cold bottle of water and pouring it all over my body, it was keeping me relatively cool.

I was keeping an eye out for girls in my age group, I passed a few and but noticed as we got closer to the finish that we were all getting a little feisty and not letting each other get too far away.

The climb up to Hawi was the first time that I really felt good, not being familiar with the course had made me a little reserved but when I hit that climb I felt like I just had this one hard bit and I was more than half way. I made the turn for home at the top and launched myself down that descent with a mission. So much fun! I was ticking down the miles and aiming to be out on the run course in under 7hrs and that kept me on the gas all the way back into Kona.

Ugh, triathletes are disgusting, the visor on my helmet was totally aero but also saved me from taking a snot rocket the face. “Dude!!” I shouted as I passed, he looked really sorry, but still, look over your shoulder before you launch. Same goes for the girl taking a wee. Being splashed by someone else's piss is not cool either.

My guts were feeling a little sketchy nearing the end of the bike, I took a couple of Imodium hoping to hold off the horrible tummy cramps etc I seem to be prone to on the run.

I came hurtling down the bike finish chute, eyeballing my volunteer bike catcher, I dismounted like a swan gliding in for a landing on a lake while seamlessly passing my bike to the catcher. They will probably be playing that footage in the Kona highlights, because it was so  freaking pro.

5:38:48

Into T2 in my socks, grabbed by bag, ripping off clothes as I ran, sort of like Superman - until my arms got hopelessly snagged in my super tight bike jersey and I resembled something more like a mad person trying to escape a straightjacket.  Yay for those volunteers. So, shoes on, race belt in hand, loo stop #2 and off on the run.  

4:33

Bahaaa, happens every time, my body rejoices for the 1st 2 km and I am lulled into a false sense of, “Oh hell yeah, I am going to be so amazing.” A quick glance at my overall time on my watch had me out on the run course in under 7 hours, yessss. I felt so confident that I was going to make that 11hr goal.  All I had to do was manage a 4 hr marathon. Then at about kilometer 3 it began to suck.  I saw my posse again at around this point, Simon and Ben ran alongside, giving me my position in the field and who was where, at that moment, they could have told me that there was a lion chasing me and it would not have made the bit of difference to my pace.  

I ran on in misery, downing a couple more Imodium for my increasingly cranky gut.  I had been taking salt tabs every hour, I had had mucho electrolytes and fluids on the bike and about 200 cals/hr all tried and tested and to plan.

Anyway, my mood began to shift, the discomfort in my gut was relieved for a little while.  I was given a huge piece of ice at an aid station. I sucked it, rubbed it on my body, down my legs and sides, down my arms and over my face, I bit little pieces off and when it was small enough it put it down my top. (My gosh, that almost sound erotic - it quite possibly was!) By the time I was heading back along Alii Drive and saw my posse again, I was a different girl.

I got down to business, thinking, tidy posture, keep hydrated and wet.  I was sad to see a few girls in my AG glide by but just kept to my own race and reminded myself that a sub 11 hr race was my goal and that racing someone else's game was not smart. There were 2 more loo stops on the run course, the last being out on Energy Lab road with about 16k / 10miles to go.  After that I was feeling much better. I made it up out of the Energy Lab climb and headed for home gritting my teeth to hold on to that 4 hr marathon but intermittently smiling because I totally knew I was going to do it.

I was surprised to see another friend Liz cheering me on as I turned off the Queen K down Palani rd. Eek, that downhill was ugly, ouch, I felt like a robot, horrible form that I just could not fix at that point. I nearly cried when Simon told me I had a mile to go. A mile! Oh just make this OVER! Finally I entered the finish chute with an idiotic grin, feeling emotional, tired and proud. I punched the air 2 times as I crossed the finish line.

3:58:44

Total time: 10:56:31, 16/88 F45-49 

So much room for improvement!

A friend asked me that night if I was keen to do it again, it only took one sleep for that answer to go from no way to yeah, I need another crack at that.

I got to spend another couple of days with Dad before we took off to opposite sides of the earth again. I was glad we got to see the town transform back into the cute little town it is 51 weeks of the year.

Mahalo!

I am surrounded by really hard working and intelligent people, people who inspire me to push myself and to be humble. (Well, I try with the humble bit.) I don't know many people more hard working and intelligent than Simon, he blows me away with his own dedication and humility and I live my life struggling to keep up with him. He is my biggest fan and I would not be doing any of this without his support.

My race experience was made really special with the support and fun with Ben, Lillian, Dad, Mike, Jeff, Liz and and Simon. Oh guys, thanks a million.

The online messages and texts from my family, my INTENT team mates, and friends were wonderful!! Pre race pep talks from my very good friend Jeff kept me in check. Much love to everyone who was following my race online and cheering along at home

My coach Rick Schopp at INTENT is also one of those inspiring people, I have put myself into painville at his instruction so many times but I am still here, I am still keen and I am getting faster. He has shown me that the pain pays off. Sending me the Urban dictionary definition of whinge when I slightly lost my shit during my second last intense training week leading into Kona was just the kick in the pants I needed.  

(That sounds rough, he may have added a few additional kind words in there too.)

Much love to Alex and Theresa for taking great care of our boys while we were away.

Many thanks to the volunteers who gave their time and to the super cute little town of Kona for letting us take over!

Mahalo xo

Now I count down just a few weeks to Ironman Cozumel before we pack up and make the very exciting move to Denver, Colorado!  Two more years in the USA before we head back to Australia.

Pic credits: Thanks Ben, Lillian and Simon

[bestsurvivalus]

Ranking The 10 Best Travel Backpacks of 2019

Traveling light is the ideal way for the digital nomads and adventurers of today to see the world. The right travel backpack gives you a place to safely store all your essentials without having to carry multiple cumbersome bags. An ideal travel backpack keeps all your gear in one easy-to-carry container.

Our list of the Top Ten Travel Backpacks includes selections that are specifically designed to be the only bag you’ll need for your travels. After check out our top ten, be sure to read through our comprehensive Buyer’s Guide to learn the most important factors to consider when choosing a new travel backpack.

1. Nomatic Travel Pack

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Ideal for the lightweight business traveler, the Nomatic is a carry-on sized pack with an internal, zippered laptop sleeve to keep your computer safe. The exterior of the pack is made with lightweight and durable Kodra tarpaulin that’s also water-resistant. The pack’s Kiss-lock zippers also function to keep water out and your belongings safe.

This pack boasts an internal mesh divider that allows you to keep your everyday-carry items separate from electronics. The pack’s capacity can expand to 30 liters in total and it weighs just 4 pounds when empty. Perhaps best of all, the internal laptop pocket in this pack is TSA-approved (1), which means you can simply lay the pack flat and pass through TSA checkpoints quickly and efficiently.

2. Teton Sports Scout 3400

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This internal frame backpack is ideal for travelers taking extended vacations to far-flung regions of the world. It gives you a total of 3400 cubic inches of internal space for clothes, electronics, everyday carry items, and a few fun belongings you’ll want on the road. It’s also one of the most budget-friendly travel packs on our list.

The Teton Sports Scout 3400 offers adaptability to your body type for comfortable carrying over longer distances. It features multi-position torso adjustment, a durable open-cell foam lumbar pad, and molded channels for increased airflow and comfort. Finally, this travel backpack helps you stay organized with a designated sleeping bag compartment, compression straps, and a number of exterior pockets for those items you’ll need at a moment’s notice.

3. Osprey Farpoint 40

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The Osprey Farpoint 40 is ideal for the U.S.-based business traveler or the international jet setter. Its sleek design means it’s fashionable enough to take right into your meetings with you and its functionality makes it the only travel backpack you’ll need, whether you plan to use it in urban or wilderness environments.

This travel backpack offers 40 liters of internal storage and boasts total dimensions of 22” H x 14” W x 9” D. The pack comes with two internal compression straps to help secure your belongings and handle loads up to 40 pounds with ease. In addition, the Farpoint features a stowaway back panel that allows you to zip the hipbelt and harness systems away for a slimmer profile when traveling.

4. WITZMAN Canvas Rucksack

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This vintage-style travel backpack is ideal for the traveler that likes to turn a few heads as they walk through the airport. The pack’s exterior is made of premium-quality cotton canvas and polyurethane and the pack offers total dimensions of 13” L x 21” H x 7.5” W.

The WITZMAN Canvas Rucksack is a 2-in-1 travel backpack and a duffel bag. It comes with an additional duffel shoulder strap that can be detached and stowed away when not in use. It also boasts two front zipper pockets, a side pocket, and the main pocket with a laptop window that fits 12 to 16-inch computers. Lastly, this backpack’s padded mesh shoulder straps are safely tucked away in a zippered pocket until you need them.

5. Timbuk2 Command

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Designed for the daily commuter in urban environments, the Timbuk2 Command travel backpack meets the needs of the on-the-go business traveler. The pack offers a number of features that makes airport travel easier, accessing vital everyday items more convenient, and keeping all of your belongings organized a breeze.

This travel backpack is made of 400-denier nylon faille (2) with a tricot-lined floating pocket to protect sunglasses or a smartphone. The pack’s internal laptop compartment, which fits laptops up to 15 inches, is fully padded and lined with quilted tricot fabric. Additionally, this travel backpack features a padded front pocket for iPad mini storage, compression straps for storing jackets or yoga mats, and five smaller exterior pockets for organizing items to which you need quick and easy access.

6. Hynes Eagle 40

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The Hynes Eagle 40 will provide just as much value to the daily commuter as it will to the international business traveler. This backpack has been designed to be durable, versatile, and stylish, as well as to carry the exciting potential to enhance any travel experience by making it easier to carry all your essentials in one organized place.

This travel backpack is made of water repellent polyester. It offers a capacity of 40 liters in total and comes with dimensions of 20.1” H x 13.4” W x 9.8” D so that it will fit in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of you during air travel. The pack also boasts multiple exterior compression buckle straps to secure your load. Finally, suppressible shoulder straps make this pack convertible from backpack to duffel bag in seconds.

7. Osprey Porter 46

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The Osprey Porter 46 provides travelers with the perfect fit between undersized duffel and an oversized backpacking bag. The pack boasts a total capacity of 46 liters and has dimensions of 23” H x 15” W x 13” D. It is made of nylon construction and does offer D-ring attachments for adding a separate shoulder strap if you desire.

This travel backpack features Straightjacket compression with padded wings and a lower panel that works in harmony to secure and protect clothing and gear. It also boasts a protected laptop sleeve in a rear panel that locks for security and easy access when traveling. Finally, this pack’s shoulder harness and hip belt can be stowed away for safe travel through airports, in taxis, and wherever else your travels take you.

8. Kelty Redwing 44

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This travel backpack has the features to make traveling simpler or to provide excellent value on your next overnight camping trip. For the traveler that values versatility over all else, the Kelty Redwing 44 is an excellent choice. The pack’s combination of versatility and convenience make it the perfect companion for quick getaways.

This travel backpack boasts a unique hybrid-loading U-zipper design that makes it both a top loader and a panel loader all at once. It comes with an exterior stash pocket on the front of the pack that’s great for tucking away your passport, maps, and other essential items you need to access quickly. Also, this travel backpack features a hydration sleeve that doubles as a safe storage area for your laptop or tablet.

9. WANDRD PRVKE

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This backpack is meant for the lifestyle or outdoor photographer that needs to handle rugged conditions and keep their gear safe along the way. It offers three friendly points of access to internal contents: side quick camera access, lay-flat clamshell opening, and the adjustable roll-top closure. The best part of the roll top in this pack is that it can be expanded to create an extra five liters of total storage capacity.

The WANDRD PRVKE travel backpack contains a laptop sleeve that fits computers up to 15 inches and makes getting through airport security simple. It also comes with a removable, modular camera cube that offers customizable storage for a complete camera kit, including a DLSR and up to 8 lenses. By removing the cube, the pack converts to a fully functional daypack.

10. Patagonia Black Hole

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The Patagonia Black Hole backpack is designed for the traveler that wants a rugged pack that will stand up to being thrown around a bit. This pack is made of 450-denier ripstop polyester that withstands scuffs, scrapes, and miles of rough handling while keeping the internal contents safe and secure. It’s a weather-resistant pack that features a total capacity of 30 liters and a weight of just 2 pounds, 2.7 ounces when empty.

This travel backpack’s main zippered compartment comes with a padded sleeve that can hold a hydration reservoir of laptops and tablets up to 15 inches. The pack’s exterior is coated with a TPU laminate for added weatherproofing. Internal features include a mesh pocket with a key keeper and an organizer panel to keep easy track of phone, wallet, and other small everyday items.

Buyer’s Guide

Gerry Outdoors was the first company to invent a backpack with a zipper way back in 1938. (3) Before that, school children were largely using bags with straps and backpacks used by hikers and recreationists used other means of securing their contents. Since the 1930s, the size, shape, and functionality of backpacks have exploded exponentially.

We’ve put this Buyer’s Guide together to help you learn more about what separates one pack from another. In doing so, we’ve focused on a number of factors about backpack construction that you must consider in the selection of your new travel backpack.

Fabrics

Denier count is the most widely used term for describing the strength of the fabric used in today’s backpacks. However, the type of fabric utilized in backpack construction is just as important, if not more so, than the thickness of that fabric. In this section, we’ll describe a few of the common fabric types you’ll find in common travel backpacks.

Ripstop nylon contains a special, square weave that sets it apart from standard nylon. This weave prevents additional ripping or tearing from occurring after a puncture. It has a very high strength-to-weight ratio and gets that strength from the additional fibers that are sewn into the weave. This type of fabric was first developed as stronger alternative to silk parachutes in World War II. (4)

Cordura® nylon is a popular one that you’ll see in a lot of backpacks today. In fact, Cordura® isn’t its own type of nylon at all. Rather, it is a brand that offers many different types of fabrics. In essence, the Cordura® brand inspects materials from a variety of different mills, picks the ones that are up to their standard, and then puts their ‘Cordura®’ tag on it. They do, however, tend to put that tag on only the highest quality fabrics out there. The other brand name you’ll see attached to nylon is ‘Kodra’, which is essentially the same thing as Cordura®, but it is made in Korea.

Polyester is another fabric often used in backpack design. It is made from plastic fibers that tend not to be the best choice for a travel pack. When it comes to travel packs, you’ll often see ‘ripstop polyester’ which, like ripstop nylon, is made with a special weave that makes it much stronger and more durable than standard polyester. While packs that use polyester can be more budget-friendly, they won’t stand up to the heavy abuse that can come with traveling.

Canvas can be viewed as one of the original backpack materials, along with leather. Aside from burlap, canvas was the go-to material for all of the early backpacks and cargo bags. Canvas is very thick and sturdy. Historically, canvas was stitched together using cotton, linen, or hemp before being coated in wax for waterproofing.

Today’s canvas options are more typically made with nylon and polyester and canvas is much less common than it used to be. That decrease in popularity can be attributed to the fact that canvas is heavier, more easily damaged by abrasion, and less water-resistant than other modern materials.

Straps

Shoulder straps will be largely responsible for the comfort of your travel backpack. The type of straps that work for you will depend on your unique body type. Even when your pack isn’t completely full, it can be uncomfortable to carry if the straps don’t match your body. For some people thinner straps may be more comfortable than their bulkier counterparts, but typically this is only the case if those straps are also highly padded.

There are some packs that offer swivel straps for increased adjustability across varying shoulder widths. This type of strap also makes it much easier to turn the pack around to access its contents when needed. Curved straps (as opposed to straight straps) also tend to work better for women or men with larger chests.

Finally, if weight is your primary concern, make sure to look for a pack with load lifters. These are adjusters that are located at the top of the straps where they attach to the body of the backpack. These adjusters give you the ability to change how the pack’s weight sits on your back. In doing so, they make a pack much more adjustable to a wide variety of body types.

Zippers

Zippers are the most common weak point in packs that claim to be weatherproof or water-resistant. The best type of zipper on the market today is a YKK zipper. They are very strong and come in different weights according to the specific area on the pack where they’ll be applied. (5) YKK manufactures their zippers in-house, including smelting their own brass and forging their own zipper teeth. Choosing a pack with YKK zippers will help you ensure that you won’t suffer broken zippers while traveling.

Top-Loading vs. Panel-Loading

Top-loading packs are those that offer one opening (at the top!) for loading and unloading gear. Panel-loading packs offer a larger zippered pocket that allows you to lay the pack flat and have greater access to its contents, almost like a regular suitcase.

While top-loading packs are still the preferred variety for long, multi-day treks and other outdoor activities, traveling is so much simpler with a panel-loading pack. It allows you to worry less about the specific order in which you pack your belongings and gives you easy access to that swimsuit buried in your pack when you receive a last-minute invitation to go surfing!

Compression

Because we’re talking about travel backpacks, versatility is the name of the game. A quality travel backpack can handle a variety of environments and travel experiences while adapting to your needs in each scenario. Compression is one of the ways in which travel backpacks showcase their versatility.

Proper compression allows you to hunker the weight of your pack down even when it’s not completely full. This means that things won’t feel like they’re rattling around back there when you’re walking or running to catch a train. Another benefits of compression straps is that they also allow you to secure additional items to the pack’s exterior if it’s already full.

Security Features

Security is crucial when traveling, especially if you’re constantly exploring new and unfamiliar environments. You should feel comfortable knowing that your belongings are safe and sound when you leave them behind at the hostel for a grocery run, for example. Having a travel backpack with lockable zippers is a great way to ensure your belongings are always safe and secure.

RFID blockers are another interesting feature growing in popularity for international travel. These will keep unsavory characters from scanning your passport or other sensitive documents as you pass them by. Some backpack designers have begun incorporating stronger materials to reduce this possibility and to make it harder for thieves to ‘slash-and-grab’ items from your pack.

The former is probably the more common occurrence, so if you have to pick one over the other, look for a pack that uses stronger fabrics, such as Cordura®, before you start worrying too much about the world of RFID technology.

Frequently Asked Questions

There are always a number of logistics to align when traveling, whether it’s for business or personal reasons. In this list of Frequently Asked Questions, we’ll answer some of the most common concerns about travel backpacks so that you can turn your attention to the rest of the logistics for your trip.

What is the maximum backpack size for carry-on luggage?

While we wish there was one standard answer to this question, it’s important to remember that every airline has slightly different rules concerning carry-on size limits (6). Speaking very generally, the maximum backpack size for carry-on luggage is about 45 liters. The good news about backpacks, when compared with other luggage types, is that the sides are compressible to make squeezing them down to the prescribed dimensions a bit easier.

Why travel with a backpack? 

Backpacks make it so much easier to navigate new environments. Suitcases are much more difficult to store in buses, under seats, and so on and so forth. Suitcases with wheels don’t roll very well on dirt or cobblestone roads, and carrying them over a distance is uncomfortable and tiresome. For today’s adventure and business travelers, a quality backpacks beats all other options.

Are any of these backpacks 100% waterproof?

While many of these packs are water-resistant or have been thoroughly weatherproofed, you’d be hard pressed to find a travel backpack that is truly 100% waterproof. Many will hold up just fine in a 20-minute tropical downpour (and keep your belongings dry throughout), getting your pack to be 100% waterproof requires buying an external rain cover and putting it on before heading out.

What is bluesign® approved fabric?

You may see some brands advertise the bluesign® approval. This is a standard that is largely considered to be the strictest in regards to environmental protection, workplace safety, and consumer protection. Seeing a product with this label means that all the materials used in that product have gone through a rigorous testing process and met the criteria and limits of the BSSL restricted substances list (7).

Summary

There’s really no limit to how far you can travel with the right pack on your back. The benefits of having just one travel backpack to worry about are numerous, and travelers will surely enjoy the ability to get around easily with all that they need securely on their backs. We hope you’ve enjoyed this collection of the top ten travel backpacks and we wish you the best of luck selecting the right pack for your next adventure. 

source https://bestsurvival.org/best-travel-backpack/

[nomadgear]

Osprey Packs Packs Porter 65 Travel Backpack, One Size

Osprey Packs Packs Porter 65 Travel Backpack, One Size

Haul your daily gear around in style with the Porter 65 by Osprey®. Features an easy-stow harness and fabric wing hipbelt for easy packaging and secure fit. Stowaway shoulder straps can be zipped behind the padded back panel. Large compartment space is designed to accommodate bulky, oversize gear. Adjustable ErgoPull™ hip belt. StraightJacket™ compression system protects contents and stabilizes…

[mbgoutdoors]

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Provides the ultimate mobility for everything from two-week trekking vacations to year-long around the world forays. Highly adjustable suspension system to spread the load evenly. Spacer mesh covers the shoulder harness and hip belt for carrying comfort. A mesh-covered back panel provides ventilation when you’re on the move in warm climates. The zippers accessing the main compartment are lockable to keep your gear secure. There are three internal zippered storage pockets keep you organized on the road. A zippered security pocket hides behind the shoulder harness yoke to hold important travel documents.Removable sleeping pad straps and a zippered cover to protect the hipbelt and harness when you don’t need them. StraightJacket ™ compression holds everything snug when you’re on the move.