#completely Some Sort Of Way. i don't even know. completely Bad. completely inconsequential.

[caterjunes]

god i am sooooo glad to be home. jesus fuck. what a Generally Shitty Trip.

[hostradio]

the  first  person  alastor  ever  killed  was  his  father.

and  if  you  were  somehow  able  to  pester  the  truth  out  of  him  (  perhaps  with  a  few  glasses  of  whiskey  in  tow  )  that's  probably  how  he  would  spin  it  —  painting  himself  an  unempathetic  slaughterer  of  his  own  flesh  and  blood,  with  exactly  the  sort  of  macabre  whimsy  you  would  expect.  from  the  way  alastor  would  tell  the  tale,  he  doesn't  make  it  out  to  be  some  big  grandiose  act  of  vengeance  or  spite  or  what  have  you.  he  honestly  acts  more  enthused  about  the  fact  it  was  his  first  murder  than  the  identity  of  the  victim  in  question  —  like  it  could  have  been  anyone,  but  (  as  an  inconsequential  little  footnote  )  it  just  so  happened  to  be  dear  old  dad.

it's  all  an  act,  of  course.  though  not  necessarily  in  the  way  you  might  expect  —  because  the  first  person  alastor  ever  killed  was  indeed  his  own  father,  but  the  part  he'll  always  conveniently  neglect  to  share  is  that  it  was  a  complete  accident.

yes,  he  has  always  been  a  momma's  boy  and  yes  he  was  never  particularly  fond  of  his  dad  —  but  the  situation  is  not  nearly  so  cut  and  dry.  his  father  was  barely  around  when  he  was  growing  up.  (  long  stretches  of  time  spent  toiling  away  on  a  ship,  or  so  he  was  told.  was  that  the  truth?  who  knows.  he  doesn't  care.  )  his  mother  was  the  person  he  spent  more  time  around  than  anyone,  and  the  inverse  was  also  true  —  so  it's  only  natural  that  they  would  be  quite  close.  she  was  a  kind  soul,  the  sort  with  a  faint  tinge  of  loneliness  only  truly  noticeable  in  those  quiet  moments  when  she  believed  no  one  was  looking.  i  think  there's  a  part  of  al  that  always  felt  somewhat  protective  over  her,  even  when  he  was  just  a  child  —  not  necessarily  because  she  was  fragile  or  helpless,  but  rather  because  she  was  all  he  had.  comparatively,  his  father  was  basically  a  stranger.  he  didn't  really  speak  with  him,  didn't  really  go  out  of  his  way  to  interact  with  him  even  when  he  was  around.  he  quietly  resented  the  moments  his  dad  was  home,  because  children  are  more  intuitive  than  they  get  credit  for  and  he  could  feel  how  the  atmosphere  of  the  house  changed  for  the  worse  whenever  he  was  present.

there  was  always  tension  present  in  his  parents'  marriage.  (  i  don't  think  al  has  ever  really  witnessed  what  a  healthy  marriage  looks  like.  )  it  wasn't  physically  abusive,  but  there  was  a  very  clear  cycle  of  lovebombing,  gaslighting  and  neglect.  things  would  get  bad,  and  then  his  father  would  start  babbling  those  same  old  tired  promises  —  he  can  change!  he  can  get  better!  just  give  him  a  chance!  again,  again,  again.  and  perhaps  there  would  be  brief  stints  of  time  wherein  he  would  try  to  make  good  on  those  hollow  reassurances,  before  inevitably  sliding  back  into  old  habits.  alcohol  and  infidelity  and  verbal  abuse.  there  was  no  love  in  this  marriage,  just  two  people  trapped  in  an  unhealthy  situation  because  clinging  to  the  rotted  planks  of  this  sinking  ship  was  the  best  bet  they  had  to  keep  from  drowning.  frogs  trapped  in  a  pot  of  boiling  water.  (  hand  in  unlovable  hand.  )  and  alastor  was  there  to  witness  it  all.  never  the  focus,  never  subjected  to  the  abuse  directly,  but  still  molded  by  its  presence  nevertheless.

he  intervened  only  once  —  the  single  time  his  father  actually  did  lay  hands  on  his  mother  in  alastor's  presence.  he  was  in  his  teens  at  that  point,  fresh  off  a  growth  spurt  that  left  him  nearly  as  tall  as  the  man  himself  —  and  perhaps  that's  the  reason  why  he  underestimated  his  own  strength.  alastor  really  only  intended  to  get  him  away  from  her,  but  the  force  of  the  shove  sent  him  stumbling  and  his  neck  came  down  on  the  edge  of  the  countertop  at  the  perfect  angle  to  snap  it.

he  can  still  recall  the  sight  of  him  laying  there,  body  jerking,  head  twisted  in  such  a  way  that  just  didn't  feel  right.  a  cold,  twisting  sensation  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach  like  he's  just  swallowed  a  mouthful  of  seawater.  (  no  guilt.  no  fear.  only  numbness.  )  then  a  warm  hand  resting  on  his  shoulder  and  a  familiar  voice  telling  him  it's  okay.  it's  going  to  be  okay.  for  what  is  a  mother  if  not  the  one  to  come  swooping  in  when  her  child  has  created  a  mess?

they  buried  him  together  in  secret.  never  spoke  a  word  of  it  again.  and  as  far  as  anyone  was  concerned,  alastor's  father  just  never  came  home  one  day.

[evan-with-storage]

while everybody was talking about this:

I took a look at this:

and yes some of it is funny filler text (or maybe lore important i haven't really watched a starkid before), there are also other things.

some of this is hard to read, so some is not there.

words in [] are maybe but not absolutely sure, --- is something missing, but rest should be good.

READ:

ZOEY CHAMBERS (Henrietta) is humbled beyond words to be part of this groundbreaking production. Zoey has been entertaining audiences for years with her portrayal of badass girl-bosses like Sandy from Grease and Fantine from Les Miserables. Zoey would like to thank her brother, Zack for giving her the acting bug all the way back in third grade! It's ironic that Zack thought he was the actor of the family, but Zoey would go on to completely overshadow him in every way. Sucks to suck, doesn't it, Zachary! Zoey would also like to thank her roommate and fellow cast member Hailey! hailey is perfectly cast in her small and inconsequential part. The role of Marge is so uninteresting and one dimensional that it almost masks Hailey's limited range as an actress, as well as other flaws, such as not being pretty enough to pull off an ingènue. Enjoy the show and be sure to check out Zoey's Only Fans for spicy pics[, JOIs], and other content!

HAILEY DILMORE (Marge) is so lucky to be a part of the best cast in the world! She has no idea how she managed to worm her way into this talented group of ladies. You may recognise Hailey as a Pink Lady from Grease or Disciple #3 from Godspell. Hailey would like to thank her fellow cast member Zoey Chambers. Zoey has been an inspiration, a mentor, and above all a friend. She'd also like to thank her parents and her dog, Walter. Also, she'd like to apologize to the cast once again for blowing up the bathroom ----- ---- --- during rehearsals. ----- ----- ----- ----- made it stink so bad that everyone had to cross the street to use the one in Bank of America. She really doesn't know what's happening to her bowels. She is goint to the doctor after the show closes to get everything sorted out. Enjoy the show!

RUTH FLEMING (Secretary #4) is a fucking ----- for her acting -----! This is the best thing that's ever happened to him, I mean, her. Ruth [did] the [lights] for the school's shitty production of The Barbeque Monologues and was the Assistant Stage Manager for The Wizard of Oz… it sucked. She got bullied and excluded by the whole cast even though her job is just as important as theirs. More important, actually! Being in the cast is way better. They don't have to think of an excuse to barge into the dressing rooms. You can just walk right in! Everybody takes off their shirts and ------------------ ------------------ she's ----------. Anyway, Ruth doesn't wanna thank anybody because nobody did anything for her.

CASSANDRA KING (Eve) is [thrilled] to be present with you fellow ------- in these fleeting moments. Everything has transpired exactly as the lights in the sky foretold. Cassie had never been a believer in prophecy or the ethereal [spaces between]… but she -----------------. She no longer fears the visions, or the -------- come with their descent. Pain is the price of knowledge. Pain is the language that [unites]. the [children] of Az----- no matter which ---------- they may --------- from. Cassie wants to seee what lies at the end of the ---- ---. She's ready for the [face of the] --- screaming in the dark. How did she find herself -----? The lights [gave her] ------. And so she ---- for [guidance]. Cassie would like to thank her boyfriend, Chris.

[saltwukong]

Re: The Ruby Rose Meltdown

In order for me to explain this, I have to explain why I...really don't care.

I mean, I don't. I was not invested in the idea of the Ruby Rose collapse, never wanted it nor felt it was vital, and I didn't really care enough to anticipate its arrival, and that's because of...well, the reason Volume 8 looks the way it does.

Creating an absolutely bone-headed plan that displaces hundreds of thousands of people and crashes two city-states via landmass colony drop and then throwing all of those people into a desert filled with vicious monsters? Don't care.

Or at least, I don't care about Ruby Rose's part in that. I don't care about any responsibility or accountability she takes, I don't care about how the results affect her emotionally, and I don't care about any hypocrisy she may or may not have exhibited in relation to Ironwood, and what I mean when I say this stuff is that I don't care because Ruby Rose is completely inconsequential to these plot points.

These were not actions that matched a logical character trajectory for Ruby. They were not actions she took because they were in her character. All of the above things along with a shit ton more shit in Volume 8, happened because of railroading. Ruby didn't crash Atlas because it made any kind of sense or was a thing she would do, she crashed Atlas because Miles Luna wanted Winter to have the maidens' power, wanted Ironwood to be a villain, and wanted Atlas destroyed, and did not care how the hell Ruby and Penny and the cast as a whole fit into those goals.

Any character could've been used to achieve what was desired and nothing would really change.

So I can't muster any desire to see Ruby confront those events--they weren't hers to see through, so why should the fallout be hers to carry? Ruby's meltdown can never be entirely within her character if the ultimately crucial cause of it wasn't either.

There is still some novelty to be had in The Great Ruby Rose Meltdown, if you're into that sort of thing, albeit it's still coming way too late. It's kind of like Yang finally calling Summer Rose her mom in Volume 8--yeah, cool, way too late, this shit stems back to Volume 5, bucko. Ruby Rose finally expressing anger and resentment and impatience has been cautiously approached before, but finally getting it now doesn't exactly fill the stomach. Went and got my food elsewhere in the years you were fooling around, RWBY.

So free of the burden of having to care about Ruby's logical responses or moral compass, and the scene lacking even novelty flavor, I can just enjoy the Ruby Rose Meltdown for what 50% of it actually was: bitching at said plot being dumb.

Honestly, when Ruby got up in Blake's and Yang's faces and was like "good for you, yeah yeah we're happy for you, fuck off" I was like "gurrrrrrrl read them read them read them". I genuinely believe Miles wrote that to vent his frustration with being forced into that position to begin with. You know damn well him and everyone else at Rooster Teeth were not dropping the Bee Bomb until there was literally no other option left. Usually I hate when Miles lets his feelings bleed into the characters--terrible thing to do, leads bad places, see Volume 8 for worst case results--but he kinda slayed here. Having Ruby turn and ask if she's supposed to give a shit about Jaune's tomagotchi pets was just the icing on the cake.

[bulkyphrase]

Everybody & the Avengers Team

I've got a new fic rec list for you!

The stories in the "X & the Avengers Team" tags focus on one person's relationship to the Avengers team as a whole. Courtesy of AO3's tag browse and Excel, here's a ranked list of the top 20 most popular pairings:

Tony Stark | 2470 total, 240 OTP

Peter Parker | 2255 total, 85 OTP

Steve Rogers | 602 total, 56 OTP

Loki | 387 total, 26 OTP

Natasha Romanov | 308 total, 35 OTP

Clint Barton | 268 total, 46 OTP

Bruce Banner | 244 total, 15 OTP

Thor | 209 total, 7 OTP

Avengers Team | 174 total, 24 OTP

James "Bucky" Barnes | 156 total, 7 OTP

Wanda Maximoff | 143 total, 4 OTP

Phil Coulson | 105 total, 9 OTP

Darcy Lewis | 91 total, 6 OTP

Matt Murdock | 60 total, 8 OTP

Sam Wilson | 53 total, 5 OTP

Nick Fury | 41 total, 5 OTP

Harry Potter | 40 total, 0 OTP

Pepper Potts | 31 total, 1 OTP

Vision | 29 total, 2 OTP

Stiles Stilinski | 25 total, 0 OTP

In chart form, if you like charts:

Notes:

The numbers after the names are the number of stories tagged with that ship. OTP means the number of stories where that is the only relationship tagged on the story. Numbers are accurate as of July 2021.

Story Recommendations

For your reading pleasure, included below is at least one fic rec for each pairing except the crossovers from non-Marvel fandoms (apologies to Mr. Potter & Mr. Stilinski). Most are gen fic, and even in the ones with a romantic pairing, romance is not the focus.

Tony Stark

As Subtle As Cognitive Recalibration by petroltogo (Teen, 8949) tumblr: @tonystarktogo

Standing inside his penthouse, listening to Rogers, Barton and Banner explain to Fury how they just happened to stumble over the Tesseract on a routine security check of Stark Tower’s roof and wouldn’t you know, they’ve managed to fight off the looming alien invasion before it could really start and secure the missing overpowered nightlight is one of the most surreal situations Tony has ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Peter Parker

the worst field trip ever by shrill_fangirl_screaming (Teen, 3420) tumblr: @i-am-having-an-emotion

"We're on a field trip," Peter said. "To here. And Tony decided to be our tour guide and absolutely embarrass me, so can you please help get him under control?"

Which is how Peter Parker, architect of his own destruction, ended up with not one but two superhero pseudo-dads being annoying on his school field trip.

Steve Rogers

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't) by GalaxyThreads (Teen, 11022) tumblr: @galaxythreads

That seems about right. He doesn't know how he knows that, though. He does have vague memories of an annoyed fondness at finding peanut butter in some sort of jam. Thor's doing, because he doesn't see the point of using two knives when one works just as fine. He knows that. How does he know that? He knows all those little details, though, almost innately. How can he know these strangers so deeply?

Everyone else below the cut!

Loki

Proprietary by TheThirdMarauder (Teen, 7639)

No, Loki simply wants the Avengers conquered. The details of whom, how, and when matter not. Unless, of course, said details interfere with Loki's plans. Then, well, then none can fault him for protecting his own interests.

Loki has always been exceptionally good at lying to himself.

Natasha Romanov

What Girls Are Made Of by enigma731 (Teen, 4613) tumblr: @enigma731

She rolls her eyes but does as he’s indicated, using his shoulders to leverage herself up onto his back, her arms around his neck and her legs hugging his waist.

“You know,” he says blithely, “this isn’t really what I tend to picture when I think of a hot girl riding me.”

Natasha groans, deciding that if his sense of humor gets them arrested, she’ll kill him herself. “Just go.”

Clint Barton

Dear Clint Barton (circa age 7) by pollyrepeat (Teen, 4221)

With a normal person, this might count as blackmail material, but a) this is a case of mutually assured destruction if ever there was one, and b) Fury is immune to embarrassment. Not just in the regular, Tony Stark way, either, oh no. Things that could possibly end up being embarrassing to Fury get somehow warped and changed until they go from mortifying all the way over into useful and/or good for his image. It’s like a superpower.

Carrying Clint’s small child self around on his shoulders more than once has probably already hit the interagency rumour mill as an example of Fury’s innate awesomeness: good with rocket launchers and small children.

Also available as a podfic!

Bruce Banner

They're Not Wrong by Trumpeteer34 (Teen, 10163)

As Tony began to pace around the hole in the road to keep himself from shooting repulsors at the nearby buildings in a fit of rage, Thor began to study the nearby area. There was no sign of either the Hulk or Bruce Banner beyond the crater. The surrounding area, aside from the rubble of the fight, held no clue as to their friend’s location.

“Guys, he’s gone,” Tony growled into the communicator on their private line, drawing Thor out of his darkening thoughts. “Someone tranqed him and took him. He’s gone.”

Honorary mention goes to the Responsible Science series by @letteredlettered - the stories don’t have the "Avengers Team & Bruce Banner" tag, but they could, and they are amazing. The best Bruce Banner writing I've ever come across.

Thor

Fortunately, I Am Mighty by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 3062)

Steve was the first one to speak. “Are you okay?”

Thor nodded. Which was a bad idea, as it turned out, because now there were little gray lights flashing in front of his eyes. “I’m fine.” Absolutely everyone narrowed their eyes, and he added, “But, uh. Could we possibly not get back in the car just yet?”

Avengers Team

Civil Wasn't by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 7123)

"We're having an ideological conflict here," Tony stated with disbelief. "Are you telling me you still want to go out to dinner?"

"It's a standing engagement, Tony," Rhodey reminded him.

"Not you too—"

"We already had to reschedule from Friday when Natasha was..." Rhodey frowned. "What were you doing?"

The question was directed toward Natasha, who shrugged and said, "Spy stuff."

James "Bucky" Barnes

You Know How I Feel, aka, The Adventures of Bucky and Muffy the Dinosaur by ifeelbetter (Not Rated, 4511) tumblr: @ifeelbetterer

“As you may have heard, Bucky Barnes, a.k.a. The Winter Soldier, recently rescued a tiny part-robot dinosaur during the Avengers’ battle with Dr. Doom in Antarctica,” the other newscaster explained. “Pictures of Barnes and the dinosaur were posted on twitter by fellow Avenger, Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, and immediately made Barnes’s new pet America’s sweetheart.”

“Her name’s Muffy,” said Steve."

Wanda Maximoff

and the woman was young again by Mira_Jade (General, 3669)

Tony Stark called them the Cap's Kooky Quintet, and sometimes the term amused her – causing her to lift a sardonic brow where someday a smile would truly smile. She enjoyed the presence of comrades – true comrades – and she enjoyed the way their minds wove and bound together about each other to fluctuate against her senses as one. There was something soothing about being in their midst, and even when their loud and brash ways – their painful Americaness - rubbed her raw and drained on her, it was ever the knitting of their minds that soothed those moments over, and made them inconsequential.

Phil Coulson

Coulson's First Day of School by storiesfortravellers (Teen, 3055)

Coulson looked up at him. “I like drawing pictures with Mr. Rogers. I like having tea parties with Ms. Potts. I like it when Dr. Banner reads me books, and I like it when Natasha teaches me things. And I like when you play with me. You do really good voices when we play action figures. And you’re the only one who lets me do stuff like jump off the high diving board at the pool or eat three cupcakes or play tackle with kids at the park.”

Clint didn’t realize that. He was pretty sure that meant that he was doing something wrong.

Darcy Lewis

Beginner Yoga for Dummies (Darcys) and Sad Hobos by chailover (Teen, 3434)

Darcy had a theory: crazy attracted crazy, working kind of like gravity. It was pretty much her explanation for her life after Thor. And if she had thought the type of crazy Thor attracted was bad, be it Loki or the Warrior Three and Sif, or the dark elves and the Convergence, it was still nothing against what the Avengers manage en masse.

Matt Murdock

Double Blind by smilebackwards (Teen, 2381) tumblr: @smilebackwards

Stark snaps his fingers. “You can’t see half of my inventions. This explains so much about you and why you’ve never been properly impressed by me.”

“Does it?” Matt says, ambiguously.

Sam Wilson

Bystander by scribblemetimbers (Teen, 52029)

“I just want you to know,” Sam says loudly, cautiously raising his hands, “That I’m very poor and very sleep-deprived and literally the only thing you can kill me for right now are my notes.” He pauses. Wait. On second thought: “Please don’t steal my notes.”

“I’m not—I’m not a mugger,” Not Mugger rasps out, and for all that he looks about to keel over and die, the man actually manages to sound offended.

Nick Fury

Bedtime Story by dixiehellcat (Teen, 2532) tumblr: @deehellcat

Fury snorted. “I have to check in with the duty officer. I’ll be back in, let’s say twenty minutes. I expect all of you to have whatever your pre-bedtime routines are completed, and be in here pajama’ed and ready to be read to.”

He tapped the book under his arm, then left with the usual dramatic swish of his long coat. Bruce scratched his head. “Did…he just say be ready to be read to?”

Pepper Potts

Pepper and the Avengers (Which She Knows Nothing About) by rebelmeg (General, 6696) tumblr: @rebelmeg

The Avengers, that mismatched group of hurt and heroism, was one of the most important things in Tony Stark’s life. So, naturally, Pepper had made them an important part of her life too.

Vision

039. Intoxicated by aimmyarrowshigh (Teen, 100) tumblr: @aimmyarrowshigh

It might be nice to fit in, just this once. To lose a bit of composure.

Vision floated over to the refrigerator and, with some timidity, pulled off a magnet. He stuck it to his forehead.

[onewomancitadel]

On a reread I noticed something that I hadn't in my first read through. That's a nice touch that Blake wanted to know if Cinder was forcing Jaune. It's an interesting reflection back to Blake and Adam vs. Jaune and Cinder, two very different relationships with same same simple view of a good guy with a bad guy.

Jaune revealed that Cinder helped to save Sun. This was something I wanted him to reveal for a while now just whenever the truth all came out and come out it did.

I got a real horror vibe coming from Tyrian in my first reading. Still horror on the second, I love Tyrian as a Villain. I've read so many fics where he comes off as silly and inconsequential.

I can't get over how great this chapter was. How great this story is.

Do you just like leaving readers on cliffhangers? I joke. I felt really bad for Cinder in this chapter, she must be so conflicted. On my first reading I focused so much on Jaune. On the second, I can't help but worry about Cinder and thinking back to the previous chapter that was from her P.O.V., I want to cry for her.

Thanks for writing the best Knightfall fanfic, no. The best Cinder fanfic of all time. So many stories do Cinder so bad, just makes me feel even more sorry for her.

Hi anon! I'm going to gander a guess you are the same as last person who sent an ask about my fic. Hope you are having a fab day, lovely to hear from you again (:

I'm glad you liked that touch with Blake, I think she's got a lot on her mind lol. I do try to honour meaningful characterisation for everybody. Especially if one of those characters happens to be somebody else's favourite. That's an ensemble cast for you lol. I am also mildly cognisant of fandom arguments over Cinder (and of course Jaune) and I am aware there are people who think Cinder's an Adam when I would say she's more of a Blake, but yeah. I'm not going to lie and say that that side of fandom doesn't get to me when I'm writing my fic, but this is why I like doing my thing in my corner. (I mean, the spectre of Pyrrha is everywhere).

Oh the thing about Sun is so funny because Cinder doesn't see it that way. Poor girl. I think it's just as interesting that she rejects responsibility for any good she does as much as she's historically rejected the bad. In fact I do sort of intend for that to be a major component of this imbalanced stage in the story.

I'm glad Tyrian came across well! I can't imagine Tyrian as anything other than completely terrifying and very, very sane. I think that the idea he's 'crazy' is not as compelling as the idea he's very aware of what he's doing, and has total responsibility for it. It's good contrast to all of the other villains, even to a degree including Salem, and I think it's why he's stuck around in canon. If anything I think he's most dangerous when he's underestimated as just being out of his mind. I think he also hits beats of the clever servant/lucid joker type of character which I'm a fan of. Though I have some other thoughts about him - that even at times he overestimates how clever he is, because there IS something he's missing.

Do you just like leaving readers on cliffhangers? I joke. I felt really bad for Cinder in this chapter, she must be so conflicted. On my first reading I focused so much on Jaune. On the second, I can't help but worry about Cinder and thinking back to the previous chapter that was from her P.O.V., I want to cry for her.

On the note of cliffhangers: oh I honestly hate cliffhangers! I keep thinking I'm settling somewhere good (like Cinder finally reared her head again)... Chapter 8 I thought was good because it originally ended much sooner... at least we got a parting.... SIGH I mean that's just the thing with chaptered fic, I guess, and serial posting. I suppose you'll have to suffer XD

You are going to make me cry about Cinder though :( it hurts. I think the thing that hurts the most for me is the idea that Jaune's already prepared to love her and she won't let him, and they don't know how to meet in the middle yet. (And I mean. You can think about it vice versa). This is why enemies-as-lovers is my thing :(((( and I don't want to lose her characterisation as being an actual baddie and actually dangerous (who is the selfsame person Jaune fell in love with imo) and so how do you meaningfully get here from point A to point C is the most interesting thing to me (in terms of a redemption arc).

Thanks for writing the best Knightfall fanfic, no. The best Cinder fanfic of all time. So many stories do Cinder so bad, just makes me feel even more sorry for her.

Me going 2 crie thank you.. there are many talented authors in fandom. But thank you very much for enjoying my fic and especially my Cinder characterisation. I have loved her character since I first started watching in V1 and waited... sevenish years for her backstory which I had predicted... so she is very special 2 me... probably one of my favourite female characters ever honestly. She is the bad wizard Byronic darling of my heart. I happen to love Jaune very much too (o: I feel very lucky my OTP involves both of my favourite characters lol

But yes, I mean. I've expounded on my blog before about why I think Cinder and Jaune are read in the ways they are, and I think Cinder's an easy character to miss assigning depth for a lot of reasons. I'm just glad to share my fanfic and for people to enjoy it. <3 Thank you <3

It was great to hear from you again, and if you pick up anything in further rereads do let me know!! I do breadcrumb a lot of stuff XD XD equally I worry I fuck up the story in places. hahahha

<3 <3 Thank you again!!

[hashtagartistlife]

First thanks for answering my ask, I'm not sure why that anon went off on me, they didn't read what I said, I did not say 精神崩坏 itself means "flustered" I was talking about the context it's used in here, in the novel that's what the author was trying to say hence why the Chinese RR fans were fangirling about Rukia being flustered on Baidu Tieba and Japanese on 2chan, and the Korean fans you mentioned. I'm Chinese too, I have no reason to twist the meaning, I don't agree with the latter part of

Anon’s explanation either. “irregardless of the context” but this exactly where context matters. The author is using 精神崩坏 as an exaggeration/ hyperbole. Are we honestly going to sit around here and pretend the author had purposely took a dump on Rukia’s wedding which she herself wanted to write about? The rest of the novel is all fluff for the opposing ships, it just odd to think she’d shit on them all of a sudden mid- novel. I hope you don’t mind this counter-view.

You’re welcome! Regardless of my annoyance for all things ih+rr if things are genuinely a translation issue then i want to know about it! 

Now, I know you didn’t directly say ‘it means flustered’, but I think the way you phrased it made it sound like you were claiming that phrase changes meaning depending on context, almost like a homonym. So maybe that’s why anon assumed that. Ngl, from your phrasing I, too, thought 精神崩坏 as a phrase just means something completely different to what it is in Korean. 

I understand that you’re saying the author used it as hyperbole, and I don’t doubt she did! I won’t comment further on the Chinese use of this phrase, since I’m not Chinese. But as far as Korean goes, imo, 정신붕괴 is too serious a phrase to be used as hyperbole for something like this. I meant it when I said this is a phrase used to describe mental status after long periods of torture or abuse. It’s too heavy to be used as hyperbole for something cute in a Korean context. CAN it be used? Yeah, ok, sure, they can physically type the words out and by virtue of it being in an RR novel it has to be assumed they were using it in a cute way. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a bad choice for a word if what they were going for was ‘cute’. 

I also understand why you say context matters. Yes of COURSE I know, taken in the grand scheme of the whole novel, this is supposed to be cute. Like, there IS an actual wedding after this, I know, the whole novel is supposed to be renr/uki, i KNOW. Given that context, of COURSE everything in this novel is supposed to be taken as being positive and cute for renr/uki. Do I actually think there’s a massive conspiracy theory going on behind the scenes where matsubara and kubo are conspiring together to throw thinly-veiled shade on the endships? no! they probably don’t give a shit! I know this! 

All I’m saying is, this is a badly written scene. If writing doesn’t achieve its goals, it’s bad writing. Nothing in the Korean translation of this scene sells me that renr/uki is cute and happy and in love, and this scene is, in fact, downright chilling in Korean. (ofc, disclaimer - this is all my opinion. But for what it’s worth, I’m pretty good at Korean. Even for a native speaker.) And I know it’s one scene out of many, but it’s not an inconsequential scene – they actually got married in this scene!!! ink on paper, stamped signed sealed delivered! There should be something– ANYTHING– to indicate even a SMIDGEN of positive emotion! But there isn’t, at least not in Korean. 

(I know the whole scene is meant to be cute. But if I write a murder scene and bookend it with happy, cute scenes of people going on picnics, and then say this is a happy, cute book about going on picnics, the genre that I slapped on the book doesn’t change the fact that that one scene reads like… hm. a murder scene. Obviously this is exaggeration but all I’m trying to say is this scene is not written in a cute or affectionate way.) 

I’ll give you that my initial post was probably a bit over the top emotional, since I was going off my knee-jerk reaction to seeing the pages, but it just threw me that something that was supposed to be a cute romance novel had a scene in it that read like it was straight from some sort of psychological crime thriller. Like I said, can’t comment on the Chinese translation, and can’t comment on the rest of the novel, but this one scene? Weird. Not Cute. Makes me want to strangle Renji. 

But thank you for your opinion, I don’t mind counter-opinions at all. I do appreciate that you’re being so civil about this. I value debate about translation and interpretations of text! 

[avpdnoisearchive]

Hi if you don't mind answering: Do you have any tips for finding a job when you have avpd? i have really low self esteem and just writing a resume is hard for me caus i'm convinced I have no marketable skills and I pretty much socially isolated myself for years so I never held a job or even ''productive'' extracurriculars.

ah man, i really wish i could help more, but i actually have the exact same problem as you. i’ve only had two “real” jobs in my life - a hostess and a teaching assistant (and the teaching assistant doesn’t count in this case because i was given the job as a master’s student). i’ll still try to help though, but just know that i understand entirely how difficult this is. i’m literally doing a phd because being a professor is the only job i think i’d be able to enjoy lmao it is not easy my friend

(also how i got the hostessing job: my resume had pretty much nothing on it but they hired me because i was a student and they could pay me less than minimum wage lol. shit like this happens a lot - people don’t only hire based on experience! lots of factors go into it and chances are, one of your qualities is perfect for at least one job out there)

i think the key to finding a job is to just start handing out resumes. this sounds weird and unhelpful, but basically so few places are hiring that giving out resumes will feel VERY chill after a while. it feels sort of inconsequential? which sounds bad but the lack of pressure is an amazing feeling. i definitely freaked out about the first few, but after a while it was just like ‘hey here’s this piece of paper ok bye.’ and if you give out enough, chances are something will come through! 

as for writing the resume, just stick to writing down the facts - where you went/go to school, if you did/do any extracurriculars (even if they’re not productive), which computer programs you have experience with (old ppl love this lol). don’t focus too much on not being ‘marketable’ - it will be more difficult with no experience, but there’s always a place that is open to hiring complete rookies. if you get an interview, focus on the future rather than the past - how you’re very eager to start learning, what an exciting opportunity this would be, etc. etc. companies eat that shit up, i’m tellin ya

jobs i think are good for avpd: i’ve found that local business (small bakery, local cafe, etc.) are a lot more open to working with inexperienced people. it’s also better than working for a large chain for about a thousand reasons lol. libraries are great places for people with avpd to work at, because there’s much less interaction than at other jobs. babysitting is also great for no experience, plus interacting with a kid is way easier than with adults. retail is pretty good for a lot of people, because like we were talking about in my last post, the scripted interactions are surprisingly very easy!

sorry this is kinda all over the place, but i really hope this helps! how i cope with jobs & avpd is that i found the one job i think i’ll like and i’m working very hard to get it. but it’s a lot of money and i’ll be in debt, so i completely understand that it’s unrealistic for so many people. if i wasn’t in this position, i think i’d follow some of the things i listed above. i really hope this helps and best of luck!!!