#colour theory redux

[stxriisk]

My theory on the orange side: HE'S NOT LOGAN'S OPPOSITE?

WOW PLOT TWIST I KNOW

so basically I was watching through sanders sides the other day (as you do) and I was making a couple of theories on the orange side, yk average TSS enjoyer activities, WHEN SUDDENLY I WAS STRUCK WITH SOMETHING GLORIOUS

THE SVS REDUX

This is the first hints we see about the orange side (see from the cover screen showing a 7th side and the famous 01134 on the street fighter game sequence) BUT HAVE WE EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER WHAT ELSE IS IN THIS EPISODE?

At 40:06 of the SVS redux, there is a MUSIC CHANGE (to a track that in my personal opinion sound WAY too funky to be "just for instrumental") and furthermore, Roman says at 40:12, "how long must we act selfishly until Thomas is ready to start putting more... good into the world?". Janus then responds, "A good question, for another time."

Now one might take that as Janus avoiding the question, but I think its strange that it is ONLY IN THIS PART OF THE VIDEO THAT THIS MUSIC PLAYS, when they are talking about being TOO selfish, to the embodiment of LIES. So what does it mean? I believe it symbolises Thomas lying to himself about the existence of the orange side.

SO THE QUESTION YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THE ANSWER TO - WHO THE FRICKLE FRACK IS THE ORANGE SIDE? In my opinion, I believe it is Narcisissm. Or at least, that's what Thomas VIEWS it to be.

LET ME EXPLAIN-

The first time orange appears in the series is in the episode about SELFISHNESS, and how it shouldn't be mistaken for self care. This is extremely similar to how society treats self-love as a narcisisstic, hence why Thomas would believe this is what the orange side represents.

Now let's look at my favourite thing: COLOURS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN? • Red - This colour mainly represents Passion and Courage (like Roman, the passion is for creativity and the courage is the whole "ill always be your hero" thing) • Yellow - Many people respond to this colour in different ways, some find it cheery, others find it grating (Much like many people have different views on lying and Deceit) • Green - it is sometimes associated with sickness, and too much of it can evoke isolation (much like how intrusive thoughts make people feel sick and that they are alone with these thoughts) • Blue - light shades of blue often represent confidence, peace, honesty and reliability (literally aligning with Patton's existence in a whole) • Indigo - This colour can be seen as knowledgeable, representing integrity and intuition (Do I even have to say anymore, it literally is knowledge, aka Logan) • Purple - Shades of this colour have been used in the care of mental of nervous disorders (Maybe this is why Virgil started wearing purple, to symbolise thomas's better management of his anxiety?)

And now, what about orange? One of the negative connotations of this colour is self-indulgence, which is characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants (much like BEING SELFISH). This would explain the appearance of the orange side in the SVS redux.

"But what about the colour wheel? WHAT IS ORANGE THE OPPOSITE OF?" Before I continue, I'm leaving virgil out of this because thats a whole other can of worms I DONT WANT TO DIVE INTO TODAY, BUT LEMME EXPLAIN

Red and Green are opposites, much like Remus and Roman. They represent both sides of Thomas' creativity - dark and light - so it makes sense.

Heres where things get tricky. LEAVING VIRGIL OUT OF THIS (bcus he's more of a... neutral side I guess? I feel like he doesn't really have a clear opposite anyways) The colour closest to this is actually yellow. This kinda makes sense, as Logan is based on truths while Janus is based on lies.

SO THAT LEAVES PATTON, THE EMBODIMENT OF MORALITY AND SELFLESSNESS. AND THE ORANGE SIDE, WHO I'VE JUST THEORISED TO BE A FIGURE REPRESENTING NARCISISSM AND SELFISHNESS, much like the entire plot of the svs redux.

You might be thinking, "BUT WORKING THROUGH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS !!! LOGAN WAS ORANGE !!! HOW DOES THAT WORK????" That's because Logan had a selfish goal behind Thomas's schedule, which was being listened to for once. Many people who have narcisisstic tendancies tend to crave attention, much like logan. This part where the "orange side took over" wasn't the orange side himself, it was a representation of Logan's need to be listened to.

Am I saying Thomas Sanders is a narcisisst? No, not in the slightest. Earlier I said that this is how Thomas percieves the orange side, because they're HIS SIDES. He views his self love and desire to be listened to as narcisissm because that's what he's been brought up to believe. It can even be reflected through Patton's behaviour in the SVS redux.

Again, this is JUST A THEORY. I'm not saying any of this is fact. Also special note for these guys:

Colour theory experts (I can't art so my colour wheel analogy is probably so off

People who have NPD/actually know more about it (I want to clarify that this is how I think Thomas PERCIEVES the orange side, not what it is. I'm not diagnosing)

Virgil lovers (HE DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SO SORRY)

PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE SERIES BETTER THAN ME (Yes I know that the line seperating "opposite sides" is a little blurry)

Thank you and goodnight (you should totally repost this)

[emoprincey]

Is Logan the orange side?

After Logan portrayed Anger in the recent inside-out themed video, this seems relevant again, especially with Logan's pointed remark about how he was cast as anger because they "both wear neckties and for no other reason". Anger is a pretty common theory for the orange side's role, and one that I happen to like, but does this mean Logan actually is the orange side? Let's find out...

There is a pretty strong case for Logan being the orange side. In Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, when Logan yelled at Remus, his eyes literally glowed orange.

However, I have some reasons why this might not be the case.

The first reason is that it would simply be bad writing. The orange side has been hyped up for years at this point. Working Through Intrusive Thoughts came out in the summer of 2021, but the orange side's presence was hinted at in the thumbnail of Selfishness vs Selflessness redux, which came out in 2020. All the sides were shown as selectable options on a screen, along with a seventh greyed out figure.

[Image description: A screenshot of the thumbnail for Selfishness vs Selflessness redux, which shows Patton and Roman on a screen with pixilated avatars of themselves. In the middle are the words "You vs. Yourself". Underneath this are six boxes, each with a picture of one of the Sanders Sides, and a seventh box with a grey silhouette. / End image description.]

I wasn't in the fandom back then, but from what I've heard theories about the orange side actually originated with the colour orange being used in merch along with the colours representing the other sides. All this has led people to believe a new character will be introduced. And if that new character turns out to be one of the already established main characters, that would be pretty underwhelming.

Secondly, it was confirmed in Selfishness vs Selflessness that there are more than two dark sides, not counting Virgil. After Janus leaves, Virgil tells Thomas to "not allow him or any of his friends stick around that long." That's friends, plural. Clearly, he's not talking about himself, since he does want to be around Thomas. He's talking about Janus and two or more other people. Remus is one of these, and from what we can tell, the orange side must be another. Virgil seems to trust Logan, so unless Logan has some kind of secret identity as the orange side that Virgil is unaware of, he wasn't talking about him.

I think Logan was cast as Anger in this video because he is known to have angry outbursts, as seen in Learning New Things About Ourselves and WTIT. I think the orange side is using him as a vessel to channel anger through, rather than Logan actually being the orange side.

Whether the orange side represents anger or not, I think this remark was more about Logan's own emotions and how he tries to hide them, than anything to do with another side.

[loganslowdown4]

Extras & Headcanons 2023

That’s The Tea Logan Photo

Zapp Brannigan/Roman Meme

Twin Snakes/Janus Candy

Zodiac Meme Logan/Remus

Logince Meme

Double Trouble/Janus She-ra Comparison

Old Thomas Pics

Maybe New Janus & Remus Sketch Coming?

Never Ending List feat. Janus

One Ticket To Barbie feat. Logan

Turn Down Music feat. Virgil

I’m Sick feat. Roman

Thomas Channel Header July 2023

They Returned Me Logince Meme

Farmer Thomas Photos 🍆

Roman 🎧

Those Hero Shots (Redux)

Sound Off Sanders Sides

Patton and Janus Tropes I Love

How Logan Feels Love (Canon)

Patton Flips Off

Logan’ sLow down

Thomas Pic 2020

Logan Missing Poster

1000 followers!?!

Young Wholesome Headshots

Sweeney Todd Casting (Aug 2023)

Theories In A Cafe (Ft. Deceit)

Anime Opening Logince Stuff

Talyn’s Coffee Order (from patreon livestream)

Over The Garden Wall Comic/Sides Detail

Logince Drabble (based on my quote)

Sanders Sides Stills w/Eye Colours

A Lil Logince Youtooz (Sep/23)

Crofters The Musical Appreciation Post

Accidental Renaissance Painting (DnD Slide Short)

SaSi Draw Your Squad of Accidental Renaissance

‘JUST Good Friends’ Stills

Getting Choked Up Over ‘JUST Good Friends’

2022 Calendar Art SaSi (& RWR Crack Theory)

Logince in SaSi Kids Cereal Mini Youtooz

Me As Quil Logince

Pre-Fanders Quil (Only SaSi Kids Cereal Mini Youtooz Plush)

Sweeney Todd Father/Daughter Selfie (Oct /23)

Green Screen BTS Shots from Anime Opening (Patreon Oct /23)

Daily Remus/Astrology Bot

Janus & Logan Created The Devils Plan (Netflix)

Patton Silly Meme

Nico’s 3rd Birthday (Oct 10/23)

Mini Plush Logince Moment

Sanders Sides + Text Posts Part 5

Logince Green Screen Junk

R&P Fan Cast

Sanders Sides + Text Posts Part 6

Sanders Sides + Text Posts Part 7

LNTAO 5th Anniversary

1st Anniversary Of Into The Unknown

Duality of Man Oct 2023

Equally Stupid Royality

Lee Calls BS

Roman Heels

Logan’s Birthday Message 2023

November Meme (Mean Months)

Inside Out 2 Anxiety

My Roommate Is Hades B99 Meme

Logan Pics Different Looks

Dreamy Thomas (floral shirt 2020)

Janus Shirt (Literally Don’t Care)

Fandom Ranking Tumblr 2023

Happy 4th Kill In The Blank/Detective Sanders

Scott Pilgrim Meme

When Logan Is Roman’s Secret Santa (Nov 23 Patreon Livestream)

Helios/Janus Lore Olympus Vol 5

Spamb0t Meme

Ncuti Sides

Sanders Sides All The Extras 4

What’s Going On In My Head Meme

Cool Dad Far Side Mug (Short)

The Smile The Reason Meme (Logince)

Mindpalace Lilly’s Birthday Dec 19

TS CHARACTER BIRTHDAY LIST 2023

The Smile/ The Reason (platonic anxceit)

I’m Featured Fander/Perfect Gift Reaction Video

Lego Fortnite Livestream Shoutout Dec 2023

Janus Hoodie (yellow skull flowers)

Incorrect Quotes Meme

New Banner 2024

Just Minding Your Own Business meme

Surrounded By Idiots (Logan Book)

Back To The Grind (WTIT Meme)

[shiverspooky]

i really like your company 💙💚

[3ternalslumber]

Orange Side Theory - Ignorance

I’ve seen orange side theories on guilt and anger — but those are emotions and generally fall underneath Patton’s area. Ignorance, however, has much more evidence to back it up including colour theory, suspiciously coincidental timing and even breaking down a side to it’s basic functions. In this literal essay I will—

First, there have been lots of theories ranging from guilt to anger. However, these are emotions, falling under Morality’s area. So I thought, what makes a side a side? The answer was thinking. Every side is a way of thinking. Logic and Anxiety deal with the thoughts and processes: the problem solving, if you will. The more realistic views, even if some are a little far fetched. The Creativity twins deal with the thinking of the soul. They grasp ideas and concepts through passion and imagination. Morality and Deceit deal with more morality based decisions — whether or not something is wrong before making a choice. So the Orange side must deal with thought processing of some sort. Due to guilt and anger falling under Patton's management, they are unable to be the Orange side; Patton had said, in Moving On: Exploring Nostalgia, that he’s “at the core of a lot of [c!Thomas’] feelings” (7:14-7:18). I've done some research and I've come to the conclusion that the Orange side must be, or relating to, ignorance because the side has only shown up through little hints, not quite being shown, almost daring people to ignore his presence. Furthermore, willful ignorance is a choice we make and can be detrimental to one’s life. For example, in Putting Others First: Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux, Logan is providing information and Patton presses the ‘skip all’ option, showcasing an act of willful ignorance despite the possibility of the information being able to help with the situation at hand (23:18).

Second, the dark sides and former dark sides each have noticeable abilities. Janus can silence sides from speaking or having influence on others, like in Can Lying Be Good when he stopped Logan from speaking his name (19:09-19:13). Remus can make c!Thomas focus solely on him by drowning out the other sides’ voices and making c!Thomas be able to only hear him, like in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts (5:35-5:48). Virgil can duplicate his voice and make c!Thomas physically do things — possibly on instinct or due to the panic induced Fight or Flight reflex — as seen in Moving On: Exploring Nostalgia when he makes c!Thomas throw his phone at the ground due to c!Thomas’ ex calling him back (5:00-5:05). The proverb “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” is displayed in the ever changing picture frame above the couch in Patton’s room, in the episode Moving On: Dealing With a Breakup (1:25-1:41). Their abilities could reference this proverb. For example, Janus’ ability and domain could be a reference to ‘speak no evil’, being able to silence other’s voices alongside being the embodiment of ‘evil thinking’, or lies. Remus relates to ‘hear no evil’, given his power to drown out the others. The intrusive thoughts add to this, c!Thomas ‘hearing evil’ or bad thoughts because of the Creative side. Virgil is a strange case, as he doesn’t exactly match up with the ‘see no evil’. He does, however, match up with the less commonly known fourth part of the saying: ‘do no evil’. Virgil’s voice becomes louder than others to be heard, to become authoritative — he doesn’t use it often, usually when he’s panicked, but when he does, c!Thomas listens and often does what he says. Perhaps he wasn’t in the metaphorical — and literal — picture due to not being a Dark Side anymore, or maybe it’s because the proverb is more common without the fourth monkey. The only one left is ‘see no evil’ but who could fill in the gap? Sure, anger makes people not see properly — “blind rage” and all — but anger is an emotion that fades. Ignorance is, by definition, the lack of knowledge or information: willful or not. In law, willful blindness is synonymous to ignorance; the act of keeping oneself unaware as an attempt to get out of breaking the law due to their lack of knowledge of why it’s a criminal act (2, 3). In addition, when Logan, during Putting Others First: SvS Redux, presents two options: informed or ignorant, Roman presses the ignorant button without hesitation (14:13-14:18). Roughly three minutes after Patton, also in Putting Others First: SvS Redux, presses the “skip all” option instead of reading the information Logan had presented (23:18), “01134” is seen in orange at the top right corner of the screen (26:32). When typed in a calculator and shown upside down, the text says ‘hello’. Furthermore, the top right side of the screen also says “Thomas=8”, showing that Thomas has eight lives; one for each of his six sides and himself. Or perhaps it’s more than that and there’s eight sides that make up Thomas, it would make sense for him to be balanced (that might be an essay written at a much later time).

Finally, the Orange side only shows up after moments of intense ignorance. For example, at the beginning of Moving On: Dealing With a Breakup, Roman gets angry about nobody wanting to talk about the fifth season of Lost with him. c!Thomas asks Patton about Roman’s emotions as it wouldn’t be unwise to say Patton’s room would have an effect on the others like Virgil’s did. Patton responds that it was nothing, that he just acts “a little bit silly! That’s all!” and tries to distract the others with pictures, unsuccessfully repressing the emotions (1:25-1:35). This time frame is simultaneous as the picture of the monkey proverb — “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” — appearance (1:25-1:41). The picture changes, however, when c!Thomas refuses the option to turn a blind eye and asks for clarification. Furthermore, in Putting Others First: SvS Redux, if Logan did not verbally speak, c!Thomas, Roman and Patton ignored him. They carried on as if he wasn’t there, choosing to not read his possibly important information. In one specific instance, Patton asks Logan what a real philosopher would think about what he’s saying — when Logan gives an answer Patton doesn’t like, a button pops up in yellow and black (Deceit’s way of ‘shutting Logan up’ without being there, albeit technically being Patton who did so — side note: this is where Deceit took Logan’s spot). Patton presses the button and Logan — Logic — is silenced (23:18). It is soon after this that the orange side makes his presence known as the earlier mentioned “01134”. Later on, Janus (disguised as Logan) tells us that knowing or having been told certain information “does not give you the license to ignore it in the future, especially when the consequences of forgetting are so perilous” (27:35-27:46). Basically, information repetition is not an excuse for ignorance. Less than three minutes after this, Janus asks Patton to expand on his contradictory statements to which Patton responds with frustration of his own lack of knowledge, turning into a giant frog — a beast, if you will (30:20-30:30).

Ignorance is complicated, being quite the broad topic, but this seems like it’s too coincidental to be anything else: the way of thinking, the abilities, and the little hints.

Sources

Episodes mentioned (in chronological order)

Moving On: Exploring Nostalgia (https://youtu.be/ihCqpkPNtNM)

Putting Others First: Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux (https://youtu.be/KCr3SN6vWFQ)

Can Lying Be Good (https://youtu.be/N2d4oti_eBo)

Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts (https://youtu.be/Tn0pKxShY8Q)

Moving On: Dealing With a Breakup (https://youtu.be/m-PMR1TDMQk)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_wise_monkeys (the proverb)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willful_blindness (willful blindness/willful ignorance)

https://freemanlaw.com/willful-blindness-and-corporate-liability/ (willful blindness/willful ignorance)

[lexiiiii020]

Hey everyone!!!!!

WAIT!!!!

This theory has spoilers if you haven’t watched the newest episode, so only proceed If you have seen it, or don’t mind spoilers!

I apologize in advance for the photo quality!!!!!!

This is kind of a part 2 of my theory of the new dark side!! Made with @chonkypastorboi and this will be a slightly long post!

Okay! So the theory of there being another dark side has been going around for a while, but after the newest episode of Sander Sides I found some evidence!

First! What made me and @chonkypastorboi make this theory, was the thumbnail of the newest episode.... 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

As you can see, there’s an empty slot in the character selection 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

the top three are obviously the light sides, so it makes sense that the bottom four are the dark sides, and one of them is empty

In the episode, “ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: can anxiety be good” Roman mentions the dark sides for the first time, when he says....

11:15- “yeah, and you are nothing compared to the others”

Bringing up that there are numerous dark sides, which could mean there are more than who we’ve already met and love

In the episode “Selfishness v. Selflessness” after Deceit -now known as Janus- left, Virgil brings up something that caught my attention....

39:49- “do not allow him or any of his friends to stick around that long ever again”

This caught my attention because he said friends instead of friend, and so far we only know of Remus and Janus, but Virgil says friends in the plural context meaning there’s another side we don’t know about yet!!

In the newest episode that I LOVEEE Janus mentioned some things that were taken into strong consideration, including something he said near the end of the episode, “Putting others first- selfishness v. Selflessness redux”

39:56- as all things should be, well almost all things”

(I apologize for the awful photo of this one) but he mentions somthing that caught my eye, he says “almost all things” which is interesting,

now this could just be him speaking of himself, but the way he put it made me think otherwise, as if there’s something they’re not aware of, and he knows it, possibly new dark side

We know that each side is given a colour, and the pattern seems to be the colours of the rainbow as seen below👇🏻👇🏻

Red - Roman

Orange- ???

Yellow- Janus

Green- Remus

Blue- Patton

Indigo- Logan

Violet/ purple- Virgil

And there’s still a colour missing, Orange. So as said by multiple other people, the theory of another Side isn’t impossible and the hints are leading to it

As understood within the fandom, Roman and Remus are complete opposites, and their colours show it, red and green being complimentary colours and on the opposite sides of the colour wheel.

Another theory I’ve seen is that each Light side has a dark side that contrasts it, so seeing as orange’s complimentary colour is blue, both @chonkypastorboi and I have thought that ...

Maybe the new character is the opposite of Patton, and since Patton is the heart, and morality, the opposite of that could be negative emotions that are the opposite of what Patton believes in??

Anyways!!! That’s our theory, please comment if I you have anything else, or if I said something wrong, please let me know!!!

Aaaaaand now for some Janus appreciation because he was amazing in that episode!!!

I mean, LOOOOOK AT THAT GRINNNNNNNN !!!!!

And the hopefully new friendship with Janus and Patton!!!

Anyways, that’s all from me, if you made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed our theory!!!!!! And thank you @chonkypastorboi for making this with me!!!!!! @sanders-sides-theories-and-more

[allyinthekeyofx]

Cotton candy, carousels & cockroaches 1/1

SUMMARY - Sometimes riding in a circle is the only way to see straight.

Post Redux II, Scully POV, pointless angsty fluff

1/1

Even without looking up I know that Mulder is watching me.  I pointedly ignore him and turn my head away from him slightly as I continue to argue with the familiar voice in my ear who, I know by her tone, is disappointed by the answer I just gave her.

“I’m sorry Mom.  Maybe another time ok?”

She makes that sound I have heard a thousand times.  Right from my early childhood, when I did anything that frustrated, disappointed or angered her, she would make that sound.  I suspect this time I have admirably succeeded in doing all three and I’m not remotely surprised to hear the sharp ‘Ppppppffffff’ at my response.

In fact recently, every time we’ve spoken about anything, she’s made that sound; whether it be the state of my continued health, her assertion that I’m not putting the weight the cancer stole from me back on quickly enough or the fact that I have returned to work far earlier than she hoped I would has elicited the same response.  I know it stems from her concern for me but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear.

“Listen, I have to go. I’ll call you after work.”

I cut the call off abruptly, and actually toss the phone on to the desk.  It skitters across the smooth surface, teetering on the edge for a second, before gravity takes over and it falls to the floor.

I hear myself make the same sound my Mom just made.

“You ok Scully?”

“I’m fine Mulder.”

“Only you seem a little pissed off right now..”

“I’m fine..”  

I attempt to retrieve the phone without leaving my seat, I think maybe if I don’t stand up, Mulder will lose interest and return to doing whatever the hell he does all day when we don’t have an active case.  I swear that half the time he doesn’t really do anything, which is never good for a mind as electric as his.  Mulder is only happy when he’s bouncing theories around his not-inconsiderable grey matter.  And when he gets bored, when he has no enigmas to unravel, he usually turns his ponderings toward his greatest enigma of all.  

Me

He’s watched me a lot the last few weeks.  

And I hate it.

I thought once my Cancer had gone in to remission that things would return to normal between us. That we would slip effortlessly back in to the easy relationship we had once shared.  

But we hadn’t.

He doesn’t argue with me anymore.  Treating me like fragile china that might shatter at any moment lest he say something that might upset me.  A new and unimproved version of Fox Mulder, who has become so afraid of losing me that he’s forgotten how to be my partner.  

I sometimes find myself actually baiting him, just to provoke some kind of rise from him.  But he either doesn’t notice or chooses not to react.

My fingers almost, almost make contact with the edge of the phone. But not quite, and not for the first time in my life I curse whatever genetic joke was played on me that rendered me so damn short.  Every one of my siblings has at least three inches on me.  Even Melissa had stood at a respectable five-six although over the years I’ve learned to compensate with towering three inch heels that will probably one day lead to fallen arches and curvature of the spine, but sadly, there is no magical remedy that will lengthen my arms.

Mulder wastes no time in riding to my rescue again.  Even something as inconsequential as a dropped phone and he’s there.  Ready to save me in whatever small way he can.

Dammit Mulder.

He hands me the phone, much like the way a devoted dog would hand slippers to its master.

“Here.”

“Thanks” and I give him a tight lipped smile that I know doesn’t quite reach my eyes.

His expression droops a little.

“So who was that on the phone?”

And the sarcasm comes bubbling up before I can stop myself.

“Oh well, let’s see Mulder. Maybe the fact that I called her Mom could mean that maybe it was...um...my Mom?”

“Are you implying that I was listening in on your private conversation Agent Scully?”

But his attempt at humour falls a little short.  Because lately, all he seems to have done is listen in on me.  Whether it’s my voice, my actions or my emotions.  He’s there listening.

All the time.

It’s exhausting.

And I’m sick of it.

“If you must know she wanted me to go to the fair at Volta Park.  My Aunt Lucy is over visiting with her grandchildren.  Mom thought it might be nice.”

“And I’m surmising that you didn’t huh?

I fiddle with the back of the phone.  It has opened just a crack and needs snapping back in to place.

“I hate fairs Mulder”.

He reaches one long arm forward and goes to take the phone from me.  Just for a second I consider holding on to it, but then sigh because frankly, it’s easier to just let him have it.

“No one hates fairs Scully.”

Snap

“There you go.  Good as new.”

I snatch the phone back from him.

“I do.  Carousels make me sick, cotton candy keeps me awake all night and the food outlets are usually unsanitary and crawling with cockroaches.”

It’s not strictly true of course.  I love fairs. Or at least I used to.  Before my journey in to adulthood stole much of my spontaneity away.

Entering in to the archaic, testosterone-rich world of the Bureau that, enlightened age or not, was still largely dismissive of female agents hadn’t helped and the final nail in my coffin – interesting choice of words there Dana – had been my Cancer.  My days of innocent youthful pleasures were pretty much gone for good.

And the thought makes me sadder than I really want to admit to myself let alone Mulder.

“I love fairs”

His  voice takes on a wistful tone

 “The sights, the sounds, smell of hotdogs and onions, that feeling that, we can be kids again....forget everything for a couple of hours and....”

“Great.  Fine.  You love fairs.  I get it. I’ll call my Mom and tell her to expect you at 7.....”

It comes out sounding harsher than I intended and even as I want to apologise, I am getting to my feet, unable to look at him lest I see the hurt registering on his face; afraid that I will betray my satisfaction because deep down I know he doesn’t deserve it.  Not really.

“It’s gone five Mulder. I’m going home.”

He doesn’t answer as I sweep past him.  For once, he has nothing to say.

 X

 The sharp trilling of my cel phone jerks me awake and I’m just disorientated enough to not immediately find it on the nightstand beside my bed.  The small screen is illuminated though and on the second attempt, my flailing hand snatches it up.

Mulder

“Mulder?  What’s wrong?  Where are you?”

Late night phonecalls from him usually spell something bad.  Usually that he’s been either arrested or beaten up.

“I’m fine.  I’m outside.  I need to show you something.”

His voice has that giddy, wired edge that I’ve come to recognise means he’s on the verge of something.

“Can’t it wait?”

 I glance at the clock

 “It’s almost 2 O’Clock.”

“I know.  I know.  But it won’t take long I promise....”

I want to say no.  I truly want to say no.

I can’t.  It’s the middle of the night.  I will see you in the morning.

But of course I don’t say any of that.

Ten minutes later I join him in the car.  He is cracking sunflower seeds between his teeth and I can feel the discarded shells digging in to my legs where he hasn’t bothered to brush them off the passenger seat.

“Whatever this is, it had better be good.”

Mulder just grins at me.

“When has it ever not been?”

And I can’t think how to answer that without hurting his feelings, so I say nothing as he starts up the car and pilots it smoothly on to the road.

“Oh, I almost forgot, there’s something in the back for you.”

“Mulder....”

I’m in no mood to play games. I don’t sleep well since the cancer. My sleeping patterns got so screwed up that I still feel exhausted at odd times of the day and wide awake by mid-evening.  Tonight had been no exception.

But that look is back on his face.  That look that tells me to play along with him and it’s a look haven’t seen that look for a while so when he flicks his head back in the direction of the backseat, I swivel myself around as best I can from within the confines of the seatbelt to see what he has bought for me.

What the hell?

“Cotton candy Mulder?”

He grins again,

“You see that’s what I love about you Scully.  We have that connection.  You know what I’m thinking..”

“Mulder, it’s right there in front of me in all it’s rancid pink glory. Where’s the connection? There’s no connection to make...”

I trail off as our short car journey comes to an end.  We have barely been driving for five minutes.

We are at the park.  

Why are we at the park?

Through the trees that border the recreation ground I can see coloured lights, twinkling in the distance and when Mulder opens his door, a heady scent of hotdogs fills the car.  I can hear the sound of carousel music.

But it’s 2:30 in the morning. I already know that the fair shut down at just before midnight.  My Mom had told me as much earlier in the day.

“Mulder, what’s going on?”

He shakes his head slightly, hazel eyes serious as he silently begs me not to question it.

How he has managed it I have no idea.  But the fair, or at least a part of it, is open, seemingly just for us.

He reaches behind me and grabs the cotton candy, handing one to me before he exits the car.  But I don’t move.  I’m rooted to the spot.  Unsure how he expects me to react.  Is he doing this for me?  Or for him?

Either way, I’m not ready or willing to engage.  

So I remain in the car until Mulder opens the door and quite literally drags me out.

“Mulder, I told you I hate...”

But I stop.  I don’t want to lie to him anymore.  The thought makes tears suddenly prickle at my eyes and I blink them back angrily.  

And then I feel Mulder take my hand.

“I decided tonight Scully, that it was time we got back on the carousel.”

His expression is guarded.

“Don’t you think?”

And suddenly I understand; I understand that he has also been struggling to make sense of this place we have found ourselves in with our partnership - with our friendship.  So many terrifying months where we refused to acknowledge that which we both feared the most have taken their toll on us in different ways.  The guilt I felt about leaving him to fight this alone and his refusal to accept what we both knew deep down would be the inevitable outcome.  Emotions that we both fought so hard to keep repressed and which even now, are hard to let go of; to get back to normal.

And I can’t help myself. I stand on tiptoes and graze my lips against his cheek. It feels good to be the one to comfort him for a change.  To be his equal again as I feel laughter bubbling up inside me then, feeling for the first time in months, that I am alive; standing on the edge of the trees in the early hours, knowing that maybe something wondrous just happened.  

My partner is back.  I’m back.

It’s time to get back on the ride.

 End

[redvanillabee]

just keeping track of all the tags i have for tjlc/s4/arg for now

General

bbc sherlock

setlock

sherlock s1/s2/s3/s4

tjlc

tjlc specs

sherlock meta

my meta (for my frankly horrendous attempts at meta)

the lost special

something fucky

acd holmes

holmesian history

the dynamic

sherlock promo

promo pics

sherlock soundtrack

back in the basement you all go

Episodes

All episodes have their names written out in full, except The Sign of Three, which is under #tsot

Characters

sherlock (the bbc one played by bc specifically)

sherlock holmes (the acd character we all love + all its incarnations)

mary morstan

rosie watson

eurus holmes

agra

lady e

(and basically all the character names on the show I don’t have to name them all do i)

Character-related

johnlock anniversary

posh boy

clever boy

sweater boy

mary is evil

mary is moriarty

mary is heteronormativity

sherlock is gay

sherlock is a smol gay baby and no one can convince me otherwise

sherlock is a virgin

purple shirt of sex

john is bi

john is jealous of his own dick guys

fire extinguisher boner

soft blanket john

soft daisy prince john

sherlock’s military kink

john’s danger kink

Theories

poetry or truth

s4 is fake

baby what baby

mary the storyteller

mary is moriarty

mind bungalow

mykey code

suicide of fake genius (aka reichenbach theory)

the secret will be unleashed (aka 8 march theory)

clue movie theory

blog theory

alibi theory

mary is not dead theory

cahoots theory

m theory

emp theory

sherlock is drugged theory

john is drugged theory

td 12/td 12 theory

40 theory

easter theory

gone girl theory

colour theory

twin series theory

car crash theory

blind theory

'SERIES 4 IS SO THAT EVEN CASUALS WILL START ROOTING FOR JOHNLOCK'

Codes

codebreaking

number acronym cipher

pgp

Metaphors and symbols

metaphors

phone heart metaphor

drink code

tea is gay

death cake

arrest the jellyfish

water is gay

circles are feelings

projector as smoking gun

chekhov’s gun

ARG

sherlock arg

arg specs

arg meta

vivala

the lost special website

the lost special instagram

arg on twitter

contactsh, contactjhw, contact_jm

contact twitters (the collective tag for contactsh and contactjhw)

fan parody accounts

dale pike

moles

eye emoji

elementary on ice

handwriting meta

operation norbury

operation norbury redux

bring221back

wholock is real

derren brown/derren brown conspiracy

draculock

Others

bfi screening

bfi panel

tfp leak

missing setlock

the heimish test

the moo

umbrella sword gun

Deleted tags

tfhc (now under #tjlc)

tinhatting (now under #tjlc)

tfp as john’s dream (now under #mind bungalow)

bi contemporary horror bond remix (now under #mind bungalow)

sherlock s4 e4 (now under #the lost special)

chekov’s gun (now under #chekhov’s gun)

euros holmes (now under #eurus holmes)

smol gay nerd (now under #soft gay baby)

shspesh (now under #the abominable bride)

janniversary (now under #johnlock anniversary)