#collapses the talks entirely that and other things and extends the war but another 5 years and at minimum millions more die because of it

[kayteewritessteve]

Beautifully Unfinished - 8/8

Description: One foolish outburst, one moment of weakness at the worst possible time, and everything goes up in smoke. Who knew finally voicing your true, deep-rooted feelings, would lead to the complete destruction of your most cherished friendship?

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 4,500 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG.

Warnings: Curse words. Slight angst then lots of floof.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

The End?

You continue to stand in front of the living room window, you can’t be sure how long you’ve been standing here, but it’s been a while for sure. However, you only know this because it’s now pitch black out. The rain has just stopped, but the thick clouds remain, which only stand to make the city look even darker.

One of your hands raises up and rubs furiously at your lips, in any attempt to remove the feel of his from them. It doesn't work, but you’re desperate now. You just want to collapse in bed and sleep for the next few months. You don’t want Sunday to come, you don’t want to be apart of this wedding. It will break you even more. It will destroy you.

And now you have an entire week off work, so there is nothing to distract your mind. You and the guys had each booked this week off, months ago. It seemed like a fantastic plan originally. But now, it’s feeling a lot like hell. An entire week locked in your house, alone, and overthinking everything while freaking out about the wedding? Yeah, absolute fucking hell.

But the one silver lining of this horrendous night is that now you probably won’t have to be in the wedding. Shit, now you probably won’t even be on the guest list anymore. Kissing the groom sort of vetoes your chances of keeping a valid invitation. God, what a fucking mess you’ve made.

Your best friend gets married in a week, and now he has to tell his fiancee that he kissed someone else. And here you are, whining about your hurt heart and feelings, and hoping you get axed from the guest list. You may have just ruined a relationship, you may have just destroyed Steve’s future life, with the love of his life. What a dick fucking move. Like who even are you anymore? Oh, wait, a home-wrecker, that’s who.

You groan. Fuck! What have you done?! How could you be so damn selfi—

A loud knock on your door startles you, and you glance over your shoulder, but don’t move a foot. You wait, not sure if you actually heard the door, or if you’re just losing your damn mind. But then you hear another loud knock, a couple knocks actually, and you slowly make your way towards the door. You have no idea who’s here now, but you’re 100% positive it isn’t Steve. So maybe it’s Bucky?

Your steps falter then you halt completely. Because oh fuck, Steve probably told him what happened and now he is here to confront you. Oh God, you can’t handle this right now. You just need a few days to yourself. Just a couple days to be miserable and alone, without anyone interfering or inserting themselves into the mix.

“Bucky, if that’s you, I’m not in the mood! Come back later!” You holler from your spot glued to the floor, 5 feet from the door.

But all you’re met with is silence, and then a few more loud knocks, these ones more impatient and you sigh. Likes like you won’t be getting your alone time, Bucky is a persistent fuck, and it’s a wonder he’s even allowed you the option of his company. He has a key to your place after all, and with one look at the door lock, you can see it’s not actually locked. Right, you never locked it after Steve walked out. Fuck, way to go smart one.

You quickly move towards the door, as the knocking hasn’t ceased and you know your neighbours are going to complain to management if they continue on any longer.

“Okay, okay! Hold your fucking horses, I’m com—“ you yank the door open and your words die in your throat. Because that’s not fucking Bucky. Not even close.

No, the person standing before you currently, soaking wet and dripping onto the hallway carpet, is definitely not Bucky. It’s Steve.

You don’t even know what to say, so you just stand there dumbly, silently staring at the tall drenched blonde before you. His hair stuck to his forehead, and his soaked clothes clinging to every dip and line on his muscular body. And oh fuck, don’t look, don’t you fucking look! You aren’t really allowed to check him out anymore to begin with, but you especially aren’t allowed right fucking now.

You both just stare at each other, and you’re willing to bet you look ridiculous right now; all wide eyes, gaping mouth and stunned silence. But you honestly have no clue what to even say to him, you fucked everything up the last time you opened your mouth, so it’s probably best if keep your lips locked the fuck up this time. Let him talk first, let him start the conversation this time, even if just to ensure you don’t insert anymore of your foot into your mouth. Because honestly, you might choke on it, if you do.

“Can I come in?”

“Ah, yeah,” you nod, stepping back and opening the door wider to let him in, “yeah, um, of course.”

He walks past you and heads for the kitchen, leaving you alone by the front door. Your heart is pounding in your chest again, except now your hands are sweaty and your mouth is dry to go along with it. You aren’t sure what he’s going to say, you aren’t sure just how this will all play out now.

You’re the selfish one who put a grenade in between the two of you, and just stood back to watch as it detonated. Like it was some damn fourth of July fireworks show, and not the possible moment your childhood friendship comes to an emotional and heartbreaking end.

You foolish idiot, how could you do something so stupid? How could you put your own ridiculous feelings over everyone else’s? As if only your feelings mattered. Disgusting. Appalling. Completely unacceptable. How could you?

You sigh, and slowly make your way to the kitchen, ready to face the music. You deserve whatever he is about to say, you brought this on yourself and now you have to take the consequences. He’ll probably say you can’t be friends anymore, that you shouldn’t be apart of his wedding. That it wouldn’t be right to have you stand next to him, after everything you said, and everything that happened tonight.

One stupid outburst, one moment of weakness, and your most cherished friendship goes up in smoke. Your longest running friendship, and one of two people that you care for more than yourself, all destroyed because you can��t keep your damn mouth shut.

How you can even say that you care more for Steve than yourself is a damn joke. Clearly you don’t, or you wouldn’t have said anything. You would have just continued to suck it up, and lock it all away. You would have just been happy for him, for how his life was playing out, instead of miserable and selfish.

You stop quickly at the hallway closet to grab a few large towels and then you enter the war zone, peace offering in hand. As you enter the kitchen, you see Steve standing by the island and rifling through his messenger bag.

You hesitantly move towards him and hold out the towels. “Here, I figured you could use these,” you say quietly and he glances over at you, then at the towels in your extended hands.

He nods and takes them, “thanks.”

You nod once, and take a large step back, giving him some much needed space. He places the towels on the counter by his bag, only keeping one in his hand, which he unfolds and quickly scrubs through his hair before wrapping it around the back of his neck. The ends of the towel hang down his chest, as he goes back to digging in his messenger bag. And you can’t help but notice that his hair is now poking out in all directions, you’d laugh at the sight if you were so damn nervous for what he’s about to say. And if your heart wasn’t completely shattering again, just at the sight of him, you’d have made a smart ass comment about his crazy hair.

You cross your arms and avert your eyes from the tall blonde, focusing instead on the counter beside him. Like you said, you are leaving him to start the conversation this time, you’ll stand here in silence all night if you have to. Because you refuse to say a damn thing until he does. Stubborn as a mule, you are.

After a moment, the sounds of him rifling through his overpacked and soaked bag cease, but you don’t look up. You refuse to look up.

“I think when I left here, there was some confusion about why I had to leave,” he pauses and you cave, glancing up at him despite yourself. Your brows are now furrowed in confusion, because what is he going on about? You see him rub the back of his neck as he stares down, and you look down to see what he is looking at. To then only notice he is now clasping a weathered and worn sketchbook tightly in his other hand. Which only confuses you more.

He sighs and looks at you, but your confused eyes can’t seem to leave the book. Staring at it as if it’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole damn life. “I think you confused my shock with anger. Everything I said, wasn’t said from a place of irritation,” he pauses and then shakes his head. “Okay, maybe it was, but not for the reasons you probably think. So um, here,” he thrusts the sketchbook out towards you. “Just please don’t open it yet, let me um—just give me a chance to say what I need to first, before you open it, okay?”

You nod slowly, and take the book from him, clutching it to your chest. “Okay,” you say quietly.

“Okay,” he nods once, and then glances around the kitchen for a brief moment before looking back at you. “Okay, um, do you think we can move this to the living room?”

And again, you nod slowly. But then you remember that whenever Steve has to say something big, or whenever he needs to think something out, he paces. And there just is not enough room in your kitchen for a man of his size to pace comfortably, at least not the way he likes. “Sure,” you turn and head for the living room, still clutching the sketchbook to you for dear life.

When you reach the living room, you slowly sit down on the edge of the couch, unable to lounge back while Steve paces the room and decides the fate of your friendship. You’re on edge mentally, so your physical seat placement is fitting as fuck.

You just remain silent, watching as he walks back and forth, and back and forth.

He halts his steps and looks at you, “can I stay here for a bit?”

That was fucking random? “Ah, of course, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. I don’t think I’ll be going to bed anytime soon anyways,” you mumble the last part.

“I didn’t mean stay for a few hours, Y/N,” he shakes his head. “I meant a few weeks, just while I look for a new place.”

What the fu— “A ‘new place’?”

“Yeah,” he nods and starts pacing again, “I ended things with Hailey, I had to—“

“Oh fuck,” you abruptly stand up, “oh shit, Steve. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I never meant—“ you shake your head, don’t lie. “I shouldn’t have said a fucking thing. I should have just tried harder to keep my damn mouth shut.” You groan, and whisper out, “Selfish, selfish, selfi—“

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, the corners of his lips lifting just slightly in a very small smirk. “Just zip it for a second and let me get this out, would ya?”

“Okay. Yeah. I’m sorry,” you mumble and plop back down on the couch, pressing your lips together.

“It’s not your fault our relationship had to end,” he starts and you shoot him a pointed look. “Okay, it’s not entirely your fault,” he amends, “however, I did choose to end it for my own personal reasons. And Hailey was upset about the kiss, but she wasn’t about to let it interfere with the wedding, and she was going to just chalk it up to being cold feet.” He shakes his head, “But it wasn’t that, and I couldn’t go along with that, because I know for a fact that it wasn’t just cold feet. Not even close.”

He starts pacing again, “I started dating Hailey as a distraction. It was never supposed to go this far, I like her, yeah, but I’m not in love with her. I have never been, and I should have never let it get to this point.” He glances at you, “and before you get mad at me, she knew I wasn’t in love with her. She knew from day one, but she had this belief that I’d learn to love her. That one day I’d wake up and bam, she’d be the love of my life, and I stupidly just went along with it because I didn’t know what else to do. And I didn’t want to hurt her anymore than I already was.” He shakes his head again and sighs, “I ignored it for years, but deep down I always knew I’d never truly love her, that she’d never be the love of my life, no matter how long we stayed together.”

He halts his steps and looks you in the eye, “because I can’t give away that place in my heart, not when someone else already occupies it. And that woman couldn’t give the space back, even if she tried.” He shrugs, “But that’s okay, because I don’t want it back, I want her to keep it occupied for the rest of my life. I don’t want anyone else to reside there. Plus it’s called the love of our ‘life’ for a reason. We only have one life, Y/N, so do the math.”

You are struggling to comprehend his words, but then as if the final piece to the puzzle just clicked in, you realize what he’s saying and you shoot to your feet. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Don’t mess with me right now, Steven, not tonight.”

He smiles at you, nodding his head towards the sketchbook you’d completely forgotten was still clasped in your hands. “You can open it now.”

So you do just that, and as you turn each page you are met with a familiar set of eyes. But not just eyes, a familiar nose, mouth and cheeks as well. An entire familiar face, one you’ve grown up staring up. One you’ve watched change over time. One you’ve loved some days, and loathed others. It’s the same one you see staring back at you from a mirror. It’s your face. Each page, a new angle, a new focus, but they are all of you. Laughing, smiling, neutral expressions, staring off into the distance, you name the expression and it’s in this book.

One of you smiling widely, as the sun shines behind you, illuminating the edges of you, catches your eye. You stare at it, and you can’t get over how beautiful you look. You’ve never seen yourself like this before, you’ve never felt more proud of your looks then you do right now, staring down at this stunning drawing of you.

“That’s one of my favourites,” Steve comments over your shoulder and you almost jump. You hadn’t even heard him approach, but he’s always been a damn ninja so that’s nothing new.

You continue to look at the picture, whispering, “is this how you truly see me?”

“What, radiant? Stunning? Glowing? Yeah, it is, because you are all of those things, and so much more, to me.”

You glance over your shoulder at him, lifting the book up to his eye level, “so what does this all mean, exactly? The big speech, the sketchbook, all of it. What are you trying to say?”

He smiles warmly at you, “it’s all to say that I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you, and I always have been. You stole my heart back in grade 7, and I honestly have no problems with that. Keep it, as long as I can always keep yours?”

You turn to face him fully, a cheeky smirk now upon your lips, “that depends, are you gonna press charges on me for theft? I’ll have you know, I would not do well in prison.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “I won’t, if you won’t.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Sir, but deal,” you hold a hand out for him to shake and he laughs again then shakes your hand once. You are just about to make another silly remark, your way of breaking the new tension, but you don’t get the chance as he pulls you towards him, by your joined hands, and then his lips land on yours and all words leave you after that.

A few moments later, you find yourself straddling Steve on your couch. How you ended up here, you have no clue, but you aren’t complaining. However, this moment of clarity allows your brain to start functioning again, not much but just enough to allow a few more questions to pop up in your head. You pull back at look up at Steve, “so wait, I’m sorry to bring this up now. But my curious mind is getting the better of me. How come you never told me that you were having so many issues with Hailey?”

He gives you a sad smile, “Because I couldn’t. It was too painful to tell the woman I actually loved, about the one I was supposed to. And I knew that you’d see right through my bullshit, so it was best to just not talk about her, unless I absolutely had to.”

You squeeze your arms tighter around his neck in comfort, yeah, you might be benefiting from their relationships demise. But that doesn’t mean you don’t still feel for Steve. They were together for years, and regardless of if they were happy or not, your feelings ended that relationship. It would be even more selfish to not acknowledge your role in this all, “I never even knew it was that bad, I always thought you guys were so perfect for each other. I’m truly sorry, Steve. But I think Hailey deserves someone who will love only her, and you couldn’t be that for her. Not truly, not fully.”

He nods, “You’re right. I couldn’t. I should have ended things years ago, but every time I tried, she would pull me back in. So I’d just given up trying. Bucky had noticed a change in me shortly after College and tried to talk me into ending things. But I was too stubborn to keep trying, and yet, not stubborn enough to actually finish it for good.”

You nod, not really wanting to continue on with this topic too much longer. But one more question sits heavily in your head. “Okay, one more question then I’ll drop it. I promise.”

He nods, telling you to go ahead and ask. So you do, “When you were here earlier, why didn’t you just tell me all of this before you left? Why leave me hanging for hours?”

Steve’s arms around you tighten a little more, “I didn’t want to say all of that while I was still engaged to Hailey. You deserved better than that, and so did she. I’m not too happy with myself that our first kiss happened while I still was. Because I want us to start this off on the right foot. I don’t want anything to sour the beginning of us. It’s silly, I know, but you aren’t second best, and I don’t want to ever make you feel that way. You are always first for me, in everything.”

“What, am I fucking chopped liver now?”

You squeal at the new voice entering the conversation and almost fall off Steve’s lap, but luckily he still has his arms around you.

Your eyes snap over and land on a smug as fuck looking Bucky, standing in the entrance to your living room. Arms crossed and a giant smirk on his face.

“Jesus Christ, Jerk! You scared the shit out of me!” You exclaim before taking a few deep breaths to calm your racing heart.

You’d make a comment about him just walking right in like he owns the place, without so much as a damn knock, but this is Bucky we are talking about. He never knocks, and personal privacy aren’t words in his vocabulary. In his eyes, your place is basically just an extension of his. He comes and goes as he pleases. Always has, always will.

“Hopefully not literally,” he says through a mock cringe, then laughs as he walks into the room, plopping down heavily on the arm chair. Completely unfazed by the current position you and Steve are in. “That would just be disgusting,” he adds as he grabs the TV remote off the coffee table and turns it on.

Steve snorts and you laugh, shaking your head and easing, reluctantly, off Steve’s lap and to the spot directly beside him. “Wait, why are you here so late? How did you know I’d even still be awake?”

He gives you a dry look, “like you ever actually sleep.” Then he focuses his attention back on the TV, and the next words that come out of his mouth are far too relaxed, for what his words are informing you both of. “Plus I saw Hailey out at some club, making out with some random guy, and posting it on her instagram live feed.”

Your eyes widen and you glance over at Steve, expecting to see a pang of hurt cross his face, but the second you lock eyes with him, you see nothing of the sort. The opposite actually, he gives you a small smile and you aren’t sure how to take it. “You okay?” You ask in a whisper.

“I am, actually,” he whispers back with a nod. “I hope she finds whatever she’s looking for.”

“I can hear you, ya know, so you might as well just talk normally,” Bucky comments from his spot on the arm chair.

“Wow,” You say sarcastically, as your eyes flick back to Bucky. “I’m really pleased to know you haven’t started to lose your hearing yet, old man. You should be so proud.”

“I’m not even going to play into that one. My hearing is exceptional,” Bucky lifts his chin a bit in pride. “Be jealous, bitches.”

You and Steve laugh, and then you all focus on the TV. But you have this strange feeling that Bucky has more to say about this all. There is no way he has said all he’s wanted to, just no damn way. However, after 20 minutes, he still hasn’t said a thing. Not even uttered a dang peep.

You narrow your eyes at him, as you continue to stare at the side of his head. And he just continues to click through the channels in silence, but you know he can feel your eyes on him. However he refuses to acknowledge you, so after a few more moments you can’t take it anymore, you glance at Steve, who only shrugs at your confused look. Then you turn your attention back to Buck. “Okay, out with it already. We both know you have something more to say about all of this.”

Bucky continues to click through channels, lazily, but shrugs, “there isn’t really anything more to say.”

“Bullshit, I can damn near see the gears in your head turning.”

“Fine, you got me,” Bucky looks at you and grins. “It’s about damn fucking time you guys figured it the fuck out. I was dying of second hand mutual pining over here, which sucks, might I add. Years you two locked your feelings away and pretended like they didn’t exist, and it was damn exhausting. So I’m fucking overjoyed that you both finally pulled your heads out of your asses and voiced your damn feelings. Geesh, you both sucked at hiding them, I honestly can’t understand how you both didn’t see it sooner. You’ve been basically in love with each other since grade 7. That was a long ass time ago, you fucking nincompoops.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” Steve laughs as he placed his large hand on your upper thigh and squeezes it lightly.

And you snort, “Did you just seriously say ‘nincompoops’?”

Bucky just waves off your question, a grin on his face as he focuses back on the TV.

“I feel like he isn’t quite done yet,” you say to Steve, who nods.

“Yeah, me either.” He glances over at Buck, raising a brow at him, “is that all, Jerk?”

Bucky sighs dramatically, but then glares at you both and points a finger towards you, “nah, it ain’t. I also wanna say that if you two, little assholes, make me feel like a third wheel, I’ll disown ya both, got it?”

“Sir, yes, Sir,” you Navy salute him.

Steve scoffs, “You couldn’t disown us even if you tried,” Then he laughs. “And like Y/N would ever even allow that.”

Bucky smirks, “you make a very valid point, Stevie. She is rather pushy and controlling, isn’t she?”

“Ya know what? Imma let that one slide this time too, because I’m in way too good of a mood.” You chuckle, “So, what movie are we watching?” And just as the words leave your mouth you realize your mistake, you quickly go to correct it, pointing a menacing finger at Bucky. “And so help me God, if you say Space Jam or Fight Club, I will smother you with a damn pillow!”

Steve laughs and Bucky just grumbles, but you can’t make out his words, though you assume it’s something about ‘good mood, my ass’ and probably calling you an ‘uncultured swine’ again. Classic Bucky.

Steve ends up picking the movie, as it’s technically his turn, and he goes with Men in Black, which is always a hit. And as the movie plays, you glance around at both guys before focusing entirely on Steve.

He’s always been Your Stevie, but now those words hold even more meaning. He is yours now, truly and completely. You don’t have to share him with anyone else, ever again—well, besides Buck, but that’s okay with you. It’s always just been the three of you, and now it always will be.

So many years you’ve harboured these feelings for Steve, you’ve kept them locked away and hidden. To only learn that he did feel the same exact way, and that he also locked his feelings deep down and tried to ignore them. Go figure.

And clearly this wasn’t The End. Clearly you aren’t Beautifully Unfinished, but instead this was all just The Beginning. The true start of the rest of you and Steve’s lives, together and as one—well, as one and a Buck actually. But, same thing!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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[farelian]

Humans Are Weird “Passing Out”

Hello again guys! Here’s another fun thing I just thought about in class, I don’t think this has been written before so hope you enjoy and uh sorry for the quite shitty English

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Michael is both proud and regretting accepting this offer, being invited to a GA meeting for Intergalactic Migration is something he thought he'd never be able to attend. He had to catch a shuttle at 5 in the morning that would transport him to the GA headquarters in the Murumu homeworld, a species of bird-like mammals. Their fur is black and white and they can grow up to around 5-6 feet tall. They have a beak for eating small nuts and fruits, and because their nature is flying and vegetarian, they have two strong eagle wings, able to make them fly in the air for long periods

He's personally chosen by the Minister of Immigration of the UTA as a representative in the meeting since he's the first human, species even to migrate to another planet that's under control of a different government.

Of course following the tight morning schedule, and waking up later than usual, he had no time to eat breakfast or even have a small snack, since there's none in the shuttle. So he's on his way to a GA meeting with an empty stomach, and his trusty Zarqonian guide that's always by his side, Yaku Latatarun

He could feel his stomach rumbling, begging for food to support his body, but the Murumu pilot said there's no food on the ship. He sighed deeply and could only hope for food or a buffet when they arrive later. He glanced at Yaku, looking fine and dandy as usual, he then strikes a conversation. "Hey Yaku... you've eaten yet?" He asked

Yaku looked up at the Human, forming a sort of smile. It's hard for Zarqonians to smile due to their horizontal locked jaw, but she tried her best. "Yes sir Michael, I have eaten food 6 cycles ago" If he heard that right, and his math doesn't fail, she ate breakfast at 3 AM in the morning, and it's 6AM

He stared on in disbelief, breakfast at 3 in the morning? He did sometimes get midnight snacks when he's busy researching stuff on his Computer but not a full-on heavy breakfast, usually just instant cup noodles or leftover Zarqonian-made pizza whose taste is not bad, but still unsatisfying to him. "O-oh... that's quite early for a breakfast Yaku"

"It's our normal eating period sir Michael, we've always been eating at 6-morning cycles" That just blows his mind, he just shook his head and nods to her explanation, then sighed again. "Damn..." He doesn't want to tell Yaku about not eating breakfast, he doesn't want to worry her.

But Yaku had noticed the human's strange behavior and decides to confront him with it. "What's wrong sir Michael?"

"N-nothing... nothing Yaku" He answered still attempting to hide the fact he didn't eat breakfast, but it was too obvious by his scrunched up face and rumbling stomach

Yaku wanted to continue, she's starting to get worried but from her previous experiences, when a human says no, it means no. And if he says nothing, then it's probably nothing. So she kept silent and sat in her comfy seat.

The intercom becomes online and the Murumu pilot talks. "Passengers please strap into your seat, we are about to warp" From the callout the two passengers put on the strap around their bodies, essentially gluing their bodies to the seat. "Entering warp in 3, 2, 1"

The ship began to warp and constrict, bending space and time around it as they open an artificial portal, and travel through it. For first-timers, the experience is sickening and shocking, but to Michael, it's just another Tuesday. In 5 seconds the ship went out of warp and glancing out the window, they can see the beautiful tropical homeworld of the Murumurs, Corta.

Neither of them talked with each other as the ship break through the atmosphere and landed on a pad, they took off their straps, as he fixes his tie and pat down his Tuxedo. 2000 years and it’s still a popular formal attire. He stood up accompanied by Yaku as the doors and a ramp extends out for them. Stepping out into the sunlight, they are now in a completely new environment. Unlike the Zarqonians, Murumur architecture uses hexagonal building blocks for their skyscrapers, making a satisfying pattern of hexagons, like a beehive.

Their buildings also climb up towards the sky, and he smells the wonderful air letting out a sigh and form a smile, at least that’s enough to keep his mind off his hungry stomach. Only taking a few steps forward they are met by the GA escorts, three Murumurs, all dressed in modest yellow and white robes. Without many talking, they get escorted to the GA headquarters

Entering the massive building that is the GA headquarters, he’s reminded of his empty stomach as it growl and rumble. He’s starving but doesn’t know how to approach the escorts to ask for food or where the buffet is. There’s gotta be a buffet somewhere, there has to be!

But instead, they are led straight to the meeting room. Pressing a button the door slid open with a hydraulic hiss, and they step aside. The pair enters the wide meeting room, looking around and notices every other species is here. Thankfully they’re not late for the meeting, it hasn’t even started. Taking a seat on their reserved chairs, Michael began to sweat, gulping as he felt his stomach rumble once again.

He looked around and noticed how many aliens there are in the room, there’s the Janids, Zarqons, Murumurs, Likoti. A species of green snakes that evolved arms on the side of their slithering body. He continues to look around the room to see if there’s a table of food anywhere, none.  He turned back towards the podium, then the table in front of him, not even a cup of water.

Before he could go out on a treasure hunt for food, the president of the GA stepped up to the podium, a Murumur of course, it was their idea for a Galactic Assembly that unites all the race in the universe. Then the meeting starts.

He’s been sitting here for TWO hours, his face looked pale trying to stay strong in the meeting and hear everything. The last two hours are filled with speeches and the species' opinion on immigration, and he also got a text from the General Secretary for when it’s Michael’s turn to go up.

He glanced at Yaku that’s sitting beside him, she’s looking on towards the podium focused and doesn’t want to be interrupted. “Michael Stone of the UTA” The announcer called for him and he stood up, and everyone else looked up at him. There it is, the predator that defeated the Janids in the war.

Michael took a deep breath and tries to ignore his stomach’s cries for food, but his body cannot. He feels weak, his stomach aching. He walked up to the podium with the script on his holophone. Setting his holophone and hold one end of the lectern, he started his speech although with difficulty. No one else in the room seemed to notice except for Yaku, his voice sounded strained, and his face is unusually white.

Half an hour in and he’s halfway into the speech, he suddenly stopped in the middle of a word, panting, his eyes bouncing all around the room as he looked down holding his temples with his finger and thumb. “Is something wrong Michael Stone?” The announcer asked without a tone of worry.

He looked back up, his face is a sweaty mess as he swallowed and shook his head. He covered his eyes with her hand to block the lights around the room “Nothing... nothing is wrong...” He looked down at his Holophone, opening his mouth to talk again, and then he fell to the floor.

The crowd gasped in shock as the 6-foot tall predator just flopped to the floor without any reason at all. Yaku being the one more familiar with the human immediately left her seat and ran up to the podium, kneeling down with her tentacles holding the human’s cheeks in her hands. “Call for a human doctor!” She cried out as some of the delegates rushes out of the room in search of a human medic, meanwhile, the ones inside are in shock, sat silently in their seat staring at the unconscious human.

It’s not normal to go unconscious without reason, there has to be a reason. Is it a disease? Either way, everyone in the room is confused and speechless.

A few moments later a human medic from their military arrived in the meeting room, kneeling beside Michael and motioned Yaku to step away, but she won’t leave him, she won’t leave his side. Watched by 20 aliens in the room, the medic began checking Michael’s condition,  his heartbeat, breathing, temperature. It looks like he might be having a migraine and a fever.

Both from not eating and drinking anything the entire day, and standing for thirty minutes while talking. More human medics arrived bringing a stretcher, and carefully places Michael onto it and brought him into the human medical bay where he rests on a real bed.

All the while Yaku staying by his side, making sure he’s not hurt or anything. And when asking one of the medics, he said that he has a fever. Which translates to  having a temperature above the normal range due to an increase in the human body's temperature set point.  

It appears the meeting needs to be pushed to a later date, everyone did learn a valuable lesson though. Humans are fragile and if not maintained well by no feeding it enough or drink water, it could collapse from exhaustion and it’s body’s’ strange behaviors from such deprivation of sustenance and water

Strange, very strange

[vampiresuns]

Ana Karenina/Leo Tostly for August and Nana 👀💕

i’ve had like three different goes at this prompt, but i’m still going arounf post apocalyptic nanaugust, so airport meet cute and their lovely marriage will have to wait.

quote: “Not one word, not one gesture of yours shall I, could I, ever forget” (Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy)* * *

Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, it hadn’t fallen in one either. Or rather it did, but the true implications of it weren’t felt on a day. They expanded, in waves slow, sure, unknown. This is about the same. The news hit them when they’re on their respective works, and it takes them an hour for their phones to connect — the lines already collapsing.

“Are you safe?” Is the first thing August asked through the static. He didn’t need to ask him if he’s heard, he already knew Anatole had. He already knew Anatole saw it happen, tangentially, in some other office where political decisions were being taken.

“I always thought it’d come with a war, you know, but no, apparently not, I was finally wrong,” he replies. Not what you were asked, a voice inside his head says but sometimes, when he’s afraid or unsure, he’s still a 5 year old boy in Zagreb. “Yes, I’m safe. The office is a bit in commotion, Johan is fathering Jacob as we speak, it’s a nice sight to witness. Small miracles, I suppose.”

There’s a moment of silence, then a plead: “Anatole please don’t stay at work trying to fix this, please come home.”

He mulls over his request, not knowing what to reply as there’s too many things he could reply — always the sarcastic smartarse with a reply for everything. It’s not as if he wouldn’t eventually go home to him. He can’t not go home to him. However Anatole worked in politics, Anatole hasdspent a life trying to understand society and its shifts to create effective solutions, and he knows what happened now.

“Anatole?” August insists, he’d been quiet for too long.

He finally replied, with the only thing that will ever suffice: the truth, the inevitable truth that is staring him right in the eye, mocking his entire career, as if saying ‘How many years of advocacy, how many PhDs you needed to see this coming, pretty boy?’

“August? I don’t think there is a fixing this.” He replied just when his office went quiet, his voice echoing, strong and clear. He feels all eyes on him, specially that set of grey eyes belonging to Johan. This is the third time in his life he’d seen him on the verge of tears. Anatole shook his head, and surprisingly Johannes nodded.

“This is it.”

***

It’s in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep when he voiced what he’s really thinking. “Part of me wishes there had been a war, at least it would’ve felt like there was something to be won, or something to fight against — yes, I know I have said plenty of times war is nothing but destruction.”

August is unperturbed, he always slept like a sack of potatoes.

“But at least it would feel like there’s something to hope for,” he whispered, afraid of his own thoughts for the first time in a long time. Afraid of what bitterness and insecurities he might find there.

This time his husband stirs, mumbling in his sleep: “What if there is?”

It makes Anatole’s head turn violently, checking if he’s really talking in his sleep or if he’s actually awake. It’s the former and he just laughs, covering his mouth with his hand before spooning August, finally caving in and trying to sleep.

“Of course there is,” he says as he drifts away, “of course you’re right.”

August was surprising like that.***

During the first weeks Ari made a bet about it, about how long would it take for the cities to start emptying and collapsing, like Johan, trying to make something fun out of it, trying to give them all a space to laugh and be normal people for the first time in weeks. Normal people with normal lives even if she knows it’s all gone now and they’ll have to find a way to adapt, normal people who don’t ask Anatole what do you do with children growing up in a collapsing world — this is the first he thinks growing up in a war zone has been useful to him.

What comes around goes around, or however the saying goes.

Johannes says two years, Ari says five. Rom says three weeks, and Dee snorts making some remark about his utter lack of positive thinking and says a year. Anatole also says a year, Yessica says six months, Leonore says eight, and the bet ends when August finally says ‘five months’ after having been staring at nothing for two straight minutes.

“I just know it’s five months.”

They’ve known each other for too long to question August’s small predictions.

***

Leonore is the first to go, when the airports are still working. He promises all of them to call as often as he can, tells them they have to meet each other again — but his family is all the way back in London, and he has to be there with them, he has to be with Althea now, whatever happens. He was born with his sister, so whatever happens now he’ll go through it with his sister. Everybody understands, and Anatole makes him promise he’ll keep an eye on Medea.

Everything is too up in the air for them to pretend to hate each other for clout so when they hug each other for minutes everyone gives them space.

Anatole said he wouldn’t cry and he doesn’t.

The rest of them travel here and there, Yessi being the next to embark herself for longer, with her family in Mexico. It’s still close enough, somewhat more reachable. Doesn’t mean they don’t tell her to be safe, to check in as often as possible, to be safe when crossing the borders even if, technically, there’s no longer a border when she goes see her family.

No one mentions how delightfully ironic it is, but Anatole does laugh about it when him and August are going home. August doesn’t need him to explain to know what he’s laughing for. He smiles, watching Anatole bundled in his coat and scarf, happy that in the middle of the chaos his husband’s acerbic and somewhat morbid sense of humour is still there.

***

Everything dislocates quietly. After the chaos it’s silent, almost too tranquil for comfort, deserted. As the years pass they stock up, and watch how things which used to be institutionalised begin depending on people who organise, in the collective effort of humanity to hold on. Supplies work differently now, everything does, and as always he observes how cities are destroyed, buildings set on fire, but people, society carries on. Both August and Anatole stay and help around as much as they can, until there’s nothing left to do. 

After consulting with August’s mothers, having their group of friends meet once more to agree to meet in one place at least once a year, calling often and staying in touch, no one has to tell them it’s time to finally prepare everything — from water purifiers to their bags — and leave. They don’t need to be told twice the time to look for tenderer shores has come.

August is setting up the last things checking item by item with meticulous care, something he’s never been particularly known for, but this has changed everyone in tiny ways. Or almost everyone, August thinks, because when he looks at Anatole speak to his parents over a videocall he thinks he hasn’t changed that much: he thinks him, like light and water, adapted rather beautifully. Prepared as ever, hopeful as ever, still with a solution for everything, even if he sometimes looks more tired, or sleeps worse if there were helicopters in the air.

Most of the things they have there has been put in boxes and secured in the storage room they had assigned in their building, just in case. Leaving was less of a necessity and more of a deep realisation they had nothing left for them in the city. Yes, humanity was trying to adjust, sometimes seeming tired of the fight and the stillness until, from somewhere, some renewal of energy came, but the city had little to offer them any more. They could always come back, even if it would never be the same.

When Anatole is done talking to his parents he gives their flat one more look and for the first time in months he starts crying. They left a note on the door saying the place can be used to stay if people are passing through the city, but to please take care of it, so others could use it after. It felt empty without its mismatched knick-knacks and the personal pictures. Yet none of that had made him cry: what made him start crying was seeing his piano and his harp left behind. It felt as if someone was ripping out a chunk of himself, and while he told himself he was taking his violin with him — reassuring himself he would finally have a chance to get better at it — it still hurt.

August startles when the first loud sob comes out of Anatole. As ever he’s quick to hold him and rub his back, not stopping even when he insists its nothing.

“It’s just... can you imagine all the lives that ended and were lost to history every time the world collapsed? Lives like ours? I know this happens every day, but — god, that piano is from the XIX century, August. It’s my piano.”

“I know, I know.”

***

They had turned an old Volkswagen van into a home on wheels, fully aware of how perfectly cliché it was. Or rather August and Johannes had with the help of one of August’s mothers, Anatole’s help with the process extended to correct Johannes on the pronunciation of German. August thought it was cool and Anatole that common places were good in times of crisis: they were a comfort, perhaps it would take them to a safe place, even if they knew no place will ever be as safe as each other. There’s no universal safe places now that everything has fallen, but there are places of comfort, of community.

It was like a draught, all of it. One of humanity on itself, as if it had forgotten who it was before, as has to remember before it is ready to be reborn so it can keep on its course, like very stubborn roaches or perennials shaking the snow from winter. It depended how one wanted to see it. One way or another it was something which took time.

The flashes of humanity were enough to keep on going: how the internet or a number of other ex-commodities were now free (something Anatole greatly delighted on, often mentioning Tesla would be delighted), allowing people to actually use it to connect. They still saw their friends, regularly — they called too, or shared photos, even travelled together sometimes, moving and settle in different places depending on what was needed, and if Johannes’ and Ariadne’s twins and Dee’s and Romulus’ daughter were or not in school.

They still functioned, schools, just not how they used to. Nothing did any more, as if they lived in a perpetually skewed picture, or a machine that worked, only not how it was designed to work, but in some DIY arrangement after you didn’t have time or money to have it fixed. Transitional.

Humanity was present in the people they talked to, from different corners of the world, from different backgrounds, all of them willing to help each other, all of them finally having enough of those selfish people who wanted everything for themselves. Humanity was present in the moments they had together, still in love with each other, still happy to kiss and explore each other. It was in Anatole’s car ride playlists.

(August drove, the window made Anatole’s blonde hair a mess and he was laughing. He had no idea how he kept managing to find a way to dye it the colour of his choice but he did. He’s singing Kate Bush and it’s almost how it was before. Almost.)

Yet when they were alone and there was no one around to help each other, or there was a particular commotion some place they went, it felt like a cruel reminder that even if things are hard and people gather together, even if there was community or an attempt at it, it was all a wasteland all the same, and none of them had properly learnt to make the best of it yet.

***

The night is clear, perfect for stargazing. August said he would set up a fire just in case, Anatole volunteering to do so, but August insisted he should rest — a while before they had settled in some city which still majorly worked and Anatole, being fully and characteristically himself, had thrown his entire existence into working: organising supplies, creating solutions, if he was needed, he jumped it into, while August exhausted his days trying to find someone who could take them on a transatlantic journey.

He did the fire on automatic pilot, his mind somewhere else entire, namely Anatole who was sitting on their bed in the back of the van, the backdoors opened as he scribbled away some notes about whatever book he had decided to tackle down this time. He was older, in his late thirties, and still looked some good years younger. Sometimes August looked at his husband (of seven years per next week) and wondered how was he.

Communication between them has never been a problem, not even after everything collapsed, but he knows Anatole is nitpicky and not very prone to concessions; that he overthinks and doesn’t know when to quit, specially when he said he’d do something, and he’s more than aware he married a man who had settled on being nothing less than great.

He knew he was tired, and while he accepted this was it, that the world had changed, he knew that as some level rested a wound in him, a wound that if poked could make him snap into drinking seven cups of coffee and sword fight whomever had decided, whomever had let the world collapse like this. Fence and fist fight with whomever took him away from his flat with it’s eclectic decor and his old piano, which even if still surviving he saw less and less, the more and more they travelled. Whomever had taken his dream job from him, and pushed all his friends in different corners of the world, so they turned into those people who saw them once in a while, when they all used to live within a 30 minutes radium of each other. When he used to work with one of them.

He could sword fight that person, if he wanted to. He had fenced most of his life and he still has the antique rapier somewhere in the car. He always travelled with it, just in case.

“Nana?” He asks, finally breaking the silence, Anatole not putting down his pen when he acknowledges him.

“Yes, Gus?”

“Do you remember our wedding vows?”

“Yes, of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, just asking.”

Anatole raises an eyebrow at him, inquisitive as always. This time, he does put his pen down, closing both the notebook and the book.

“Well,” he says elongating the e, “I wanted to ask you if I could make you new ones.”

“Why? What’s wrong with the original ones? You don’t like them?” A sudden panic settles in Anatole. “Do you... do you regret them?” He doesn’t know why he fears that, he doesn’t know why he asks: he’s never doubted August, but the fear is there anyway.

“What? No! I just thought, no, Nana, I swear I don’t and I swear I still mean every word of our vows... I just thought that it has been years and well, everything has changed now, hasn’t it?” He pauses. “So I was thinking about some additional ones? You don’t have to say anything, but I know how important everything was for you, how important your job was, and leaving a mark in the world and how now that world is sort of... gone. I never thought I’d be very important, perhaps contribute with an important discovery to astronomy if I was lucky, but not important, or great, or well known — no, let me finish. You made me important because loving you is important, but...”

“But I’ve always been the one who seemed to constantly be willing to fistfight his temporary existence?”

“Well, yes. Yes, but the thing is I know our existences are temporary, I know that even stars don’t last forever, but I think... I think it isn’t so bad to be temporary if we’re temporary together. Anatole, not one word, not one gesture of yours shall I, could I, ever forget, and know if I could I would paint a hundred more stars in the sky if it meant you never burnt out, and I know I’m not important in the big picture, which it’s okay by me, because you love me, and you’re here, loving me. I am loved by the greatest man I will ever know.”

Almost seven years ago he remembers being dressed in green, under that big tree he never remembered the name of in his mothers-in-law’s backyard. He remembers August talking to him, his vows about their so very many tomorrows and tearing up by them. He doesn’t feel exactly the same now, but the burn of his throat as he tries to fight the tears is the same, and for a moment, that wound he never speaks about is soothed and healed when he kisses him.

For a moment he’s made new and young again when his fingers dig into August’s skin and he tells him and shows him how much he loves him. He’s reminded everything is going to be okay, and whatever happens they’ll be great at it with every trace of August touch left on his skin.

The fire is glowing embers when they wake up in the morning, a bundle of sheets, warmth, love and each other — their love is great and sweet and everlasting. When he kisses him good morning he feels at peace.

***

The last time they saw everyone was a couple of months ago, before they decided to take their car and actually cross the Atlantic. Anatole missed Europe, and complicated as they were, he missed his family, more than he let on, so they packed their things, took each other’s hand and embarked themselves on a new adventure. When they finally made it through the Mediterranean coast the Balkans were surprisingly not deserted, and his family was exactly where Anatole was told they would be.

Anatole laughed, saying he wasn’t surprised, that that’s how the Balkans worked.

After that, they kept travelling. One morning they decided to sit on the back of their car, August’s peregrine falcon, Froyo, flying around surveying the area, and Anatole’s raccoon, Antu, curled in a blanket, sleeping the morning off. He was getting old and Anatole still took care of him diligently. They watch as the sun rises over a ghost of a town.

Anatole thinks he knows the name of it, but he isn’t sure, he’d have to check a map but he has no intention of moving, too comfortable sitting by August, sharing each other’s warmth.

It’s August whom, once again, breaks the silence: “Are you ever afraid?”

Anatole looks at him half curiosity, half amusement, and can’t help but to snort. “I see this whole collapse of civilisation deal has definitely make you one for existential questions... I should’ve seen this coming.”

“Well, you like those, don’t you? So, indulge me... sometimes I am, you know. It’s odd, and I don’t think I can put it into words in any way that makes sense, but I am. You?”

“I suppose, but no, not really. Overwhelmed sometimes... impotent... not afraid.”

“And of the future?”

“No, I don’t think I am either. Why would I be? The future has never been secure, it was never been a certainty. You know I’ve never been afraid of the future, I write my own future, still do, I think,” a smile peeks through his lips and he looks at August from the corner of his eye. “It can get hard, it has been hard, but no, I think I’m still confident on the promise of dawn, so to speak... Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Afraid of the future.”

He isn’t as sure as Anatole of his reply, even if he sometimes still sees glimpses of things, those images of the future he’s never quite understood how or why he sees, but sees all the same. Yet, even if he’s not as sure as Anatole he believes in him, he believes in them. “Things could be worse, I suppose,” he runs his fingers over the inside of Anatole’s elbow, through his forearm and into his hand, until their fingers are laced together. “So no, I’m not afraid of the future either.”

They pass the rest of the morning having breakfast and making up stories of what kind of people lived in the town they’re looking at, what kind of lives they lead, what kind of things they did, or what kind of interactions they would’ve had — like writers, plotting a new novel, or perhaps two old Gods pondering about the possibilities within the creation of humanity, even if in reality they only have the power to recreate it as it was in their heads.

“We should go to Salzburg,” Anatole said, “I bet I could get away with playing in the Mozart’s piano.”

[thenerdparty]

Avengers: Endgame Film Review

Written by Shawn Eastridge Has it really been 11 years since the first Iron Man? The Dark Knight might have taken all the credit that year for revolutionizing the superhero genre, but Iron Man’s legacy has proved just as important. While other films in Phase One hobbled somewhere between decent and mediocre, Joss Whedon’s first Avengers exceeded any and all expectations. To this day, it stands as one of the greatest superhero films ever, and it paved the way for the remainder of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Over the course of the past decade, the MCU has seen its fair share of highs (Anything directed by the Russos), lows (Thor movies not directed by Taika Waititi) and everything in between. But through it all, Marvel Studios has maintained a consistent level of quality, conjuring up box office numbers that made Warner Bros SO JEALOUS they ruined Superman in the attempt to catch up. (Hey, WB: I’m still available to help get you on the right track with the Man of Steel. Call me.)

But now, twenty-two movies later, it’s all come down to this. We’re in the Endgame now, the long-awaited BIG FINALE to Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Let’s be real, though - we all know this isn’t really the finale. The MCU will chug on and on forever. In fact, we’ve even got another Marvel movie right around the corner. (That would be July’s Spider-Man: Far From Home) And while that knowledge does dilute Endgame’s overall effectiveness - can anyone ever stay dead in the realm of comic books - it seems foolish to recognize Endgame as anything other than a monumental success.

Seriously, this ‘conclusion’ to the MCU’s recently dubbed ‘Infinity Saga’ satisfies on nearly every level, fulfilling arcs set up in prior films and providing proper send offs for characters we’ve come to know and love over the past decade. Instead of collapsing under the weight of its ongoing 22-film arc, the Russo Brothers, along with screenwriting duo Stephen McFeely and Christopher Markus, rise to the challenge and then some, wrapping things up with style, grace and a surprising amount of emotion. That is perhaps the most pleasant surprise: Endgame is genuinely touching in the way it thoughtfully concludes this ongoing story arc. You may find yourself dabbing the corners of your eyes more frequently than expected through the film’s brisk three-hour runtime.

This isn’t all to say that Endgame is without its fair share of flaws - and there are plenty that I’ll get into during the spoiler section of this review - but honestly, the nitpicks feel so minor when compared to all the things that work. Marvel Studios hasn’t just raised the bar for superhero filmmaking and ‘big finales’ in general. They’ve obliterated it.

There. That’s my non-spoiler reaction. MASSIVE SPOILERS await you ahead. So, do yourself a favor: if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame already, see it. Immediately. If you have any fondness for any of the films in this massive franchise, there’s no way you’ll be disappointed. Once you’re in the know, come back and check out the rest of this review.

Sound good? Okay. Let’s push forward.

. . . . .

Where Infinity War brought the comic book action early and often, Endgame’s opening moments are more meditative and somber. Our heroes have just faced a crushing loss. They’re still reeling from the devastation of Thanos’s infamous Finger-Snap Heard ‘round the Universe. Nothing will ever be the same.

After staging an effectively heart-wrenching opening scene, giving us a brief glimpse at Hawkeye’s family life before his wife and kids fade into ash, the Russos keep the mood low-key and mournful for the duration of the film’s first act. Then we get one of Endgame’s earliest and best twists: within the film’s first twenty minutes, the Avengers find Thanos and discover he’s destroyed the Infinity Stones to prevent anyone from undoing his monstrous deed. In an empty gesture, Thor chops off the purple dude’s head. It’s a brilliant way to kick things off, throwing the audience for a loop and suggesting an ‘anything goes’ vibe to keep us on the edge of our seats.

The story jumps ahead five years(!!) to find our heroes scattered and broken, attempting to mend together the pieces in a world still devastated by its new reality. I loved that the Russos let us wallow in our heroes’ misery for a bit. You really get a sense of the loss they’ve experienced, that the entire world has experienced. These scenes offer some wonderful character beats and conversations, something that has always elevated Marvel above the rest of the pack.

Scott Lang, a.k.a. Ant-Man, escapes the Quantum Realm (you saw Ant-Man and the Wasp, right?) to discover a significantly altered world. But he brings a message of hope with him: the duration of time he experienced in the Quantum Realm was only 5 hours, suggesting the potential for time travel. Maybe they can find a way to fix the devastation Thanos has wrought by traveling back in time?

P.S. Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I love Paul Rudd in this movie? Ant-Man has been on the periphery of the MCU’s big events and to see him take on such a big role in this movie was a huge thrill.

This glimmer of hope inspires the band to get back together and it’s genuinely surprising where some of them have ended up. Bruce Banner has finally made peace with his meaner, greener side, resulting in Professor Hulk, a version of the character that maintains Banner’s intelligence and personality. Thor never overcame his grief and has spent the past five years descending into drunken slobbery and gaining a significant amount of weight in the process. This provides one of the film’s best sight gags. Plus, it’s maintained throughout! Kudos to you, Russos!

And then we have Mr. Tony Stark himself, the key to figuring out how to make time travel work. But he’s moved on. He and Pepper have an adorable daughter. He has absolutely zero desire to lose what he has. Ultimately the realization that he can save the lives of countless billions - including one surrogate son Peter Parker - drives him to support the cause.

Endgame’s 2nd act centers around the newly reassembled Avengers time-traveling into the past to gather the Infinity Stones, bring them to their future and use them to ‘un-snap’ their fallen comrades. These sequences are fun and light on their feet. They’re especially effective in lieu of the grim opening scenes.

Here’s the thing, though: As much as I love this portion of the film and the way the time travel stuff is handled, I couldn’t help feeling there was a general lack of consequence to everything that happened during this sequence. Even when things skew from the team’s set plan, it doesn’t feel like a significant snag or an insurmountable obstacle. These moments are treated as minor annoyances before our heroes carry on with a new solution, nary breaking their strides or a sweat in the process.

It’s all fun in a Back to the Future Part II kind of way, but it’s treated more as an extended comedy bit than anything else, and to a certain extent, this robs Endgame of some level of suspense. Plus, it’s time travel. Once you throw time travel into the mix, all bets are off, and I couldn’t help shaking that feeling. After all, what’s to stop them from using this plot device again and again in the future, consequences be damned?

At the very least, the wackiness of the time travel sequence is balanced with some great character beats. I loved Thor’s tender moment with his mom. I loved Captain America vs. Captain America. I loved that Tony gets a sincere heart to heart with his dad, offering some much-needed closure. Robert Downey Jr. has never been anything less than wonderful in this role, but his performance in Endgame might take the cake. Honestly, everyone brings their A-game to the table and these moments ground the sequence, keeping it from getting too bonkers.

This sequence is also balanced with a genuinely tragic moment: Black Widow sacrifices herself to get the Soul Stone. I don’t know why this scene has been stirring up some people, because here’s the thing: this moment works perfectly. Natasha (Black Widow) and Clint (Hawkeye) travel to Vormir to obtain the Soul Stone. As established in Infinity War, the only way to obtain said stone is to sacrifice the thing you love most. Clint’s willing to take the plunge. He’s become a monster in the five years since his family’s disappearance (but an awesome, katana-wielding monster) and he doesn’t feel he deserves to see them again. Natasha knows this isn’t true and she’s willing to sacrifice herself to ensure Clint gets his happy ending. After all, he saved her all those years ago. It’s time to return the favor. It’s heartbreaking, but it feels right and Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner sell every minute.

The plan is a success, but it's not without its snags. Past Thanos ends up getting involved when past Nebula tunes into future Nebula’s wifi and begins broadcasting everything future Nebula has seen, including the Avengers’ time travel plan. Thanos gets worked up into a tizzy and he and past Nebula devise a plan to get him into the Avengers’ future so he can ensure everyone snapped out of existence stays snapped out of existence. Also, why not wipe out everyone else in the process just for good measure? Because that’s what big, angry, purple maniacs do. Don’t question it.

Is it a bit weird that the Thanos the Avengers face isn’t the same Thanos so carefully fleshed out in Infinity War? Yeah, a little bit. To be honest, it makes things feel kind of impersonal. This Thanos feels more like the mysterious being teased in dozens of MCU post-credits sequence than the layered, thoughtful villain of the previous film. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it is what it is.

Ultimately, my biggest gripe with Endgame is the same gripe caused by Infinity War’s conclusion. We already knew the disintegrated heroes were going to come back for their obligatory sequels. Their arrival during Endgame’s epic battle to end all epic battles feels inevitable more than surprising.

And, look, let me be clear: Endgame’s climax is the ultimate superhero big battle you’ve been dreaming of since Nick Fury first name-dropped the ‘Avengers Initiative.’ I went nuts with the best of them when all our heroes returned from the abyss for this ultimate showdown, so understand my next criticism comes from a place of love. Once all the heroes show up, the stakes disappear. I didn’t have any doubt the Avengers would win. As a result, the climax is robbed of its suspense. It’s basically fan service to the nth degree, which again, I’d like to emphasize I was totally cool with. It just prevents the battle from conjuring up any emotional depth.

This isn’t The Return of the King. It's not the Battle of Hogwarts or the Death Star trench run or even the first Avengers' Battle for New York. It’s a big, flashy special effects extravaganza overflowing with crowd-pleasing beats, but lacking in genuine (here’s this word again) consequence. Again, I want to emphasize that I loved every second of it, but there’s a significant lack of loss during these scenes. Ultimately, Tony Stark sacrifices himself to save the universe and it’s absolutely BRILLIANT and heart-wrenching, but no one else seems in danger. Iron Man dies so that dozens of franchises can live on.

The remaining twenty minutes or so of Endgame are low key. We witness Tony’s emotional funeral, torches are passed (go, Sam Wilson, go!) and some unexpected-slash-exciting team-ups are teased (Fat Thor with the Guardians of the Galaxy? I am SO in.) But it’s during these quiet scenes that the Russos skillfully remind us what has always mattered the most: the characters. And I’m not going to lie, it’s difficult not to get choked up when Steve Rogers, a man who has sacrificed so much for the greater good, finally gets his happy ending, dancing the day away with the love of his life.

Big finales don’t get much more enjoyable or fulfilling than this. Marvel’s Cinematic Universe will go on and on and on. Inevitably, its quality will wane and fade, but we can rest easy knowing that the heroes that kicked everything off got the send-off they deserved. It might not be perfect, but it’s pretty damn great. Most importantly, it’s satisfying.

With the Infinity Saga, Marvel Studios has accomplished something extraordinary. They’ve touched countless millions across the globe without compromising the artistic quality of this multi-billion dollar franchise. We can rage on and on about Disney’s domination and how everything is just a corporate product and blah, blah, blah, but we’d be ignoring the fact that they got to where they are because they honored their source material and went out of their way to give the fans something special.

So to Kevin Feige and the entire team at Marvel Studios, cast, crew, writers, bean pushers, etc., I’d like to say thank you. You’ve earned every record-breaking penny. We love you 3000.

Now can someone please un-cancel Daredevil?? Come on!!

[nikitasbt]

Taiwanese New Wave cinema of Hou Hsiao-hsien: A City of Sadness & Flowers of Shanghai

The emergence of Taiwanese New Wave in filmmaking traces back to 1982 when the young directors started working upon realistic films depicting social problems of the country. It was the last decade of the White Terror, and the directors received more freedom in their work. The most internationally acclaimed directors from Taiwanese New Wave are Edward Yang, Tsai Ming-liang and Hou Hsiao-hsien. A City of Sadness and Flowers of Shanghai are two great films representing the work, style and most important themes of Hou Hsiao-hsien. From my point of view, it is the right choice to begin with for those who would like to get down to the modern cinema of Taiwan.

A City of Sadness (悲情城市, Bēiqíng chéngshì) - 1989

A City of Sadness is an epic historical Taiwanese drama, the first film to deal with the events of so-called Incident 228 and White Terror. The 1989 Golden Lion-winning film A City of Sadness might be a bit difficult to follow unless the viewers know a few facts behind the historical events depicted on the screen. Incident 228 is the crucial and dramatic episode of the Taiwanese history, which is almost as painful and traumatic for Taiwanese history as Nanjing massacre (if there is anything in this world to compare with those events) for the Chinese history. The incident took place on the 28th of February 1947. At this time, the Republic of China was practically part of China as it has been handed to China after the unconditional surrender of Japan ending long-lasting Japanese rule in Taiwan. While the Kuomintang party was still involved in the civil war on the mainland, the uprising had started in Taipei. It has been triggered on 28 February and was brutally repelled by the Kuomintang governmental forces of Chen Yi. The estimated death toll was about 5000-30000. The martial law has been introduced to last for the next 40 years till 1987. Before lifting the martial law, the topic of 40-years of the supreme power of Kuomintang and White Terror was taboo sort of thing for filmmakers. The film of Hou casts light on those contradictory events taking place in the Republic of China.

It is obvious that the director had to stay out of strong political criticism making the film, as it was still 1989. He tries to show the White Terror in a neutral way giving an example of the life of one extended family. He shows the family in the 1940s covering several years and jumping from older events to the subsequent years. Zhang Yimou would later make something similar related to Chinese history in his To Live (1994). While Zhang Yimou is showing the resilience of Chinese people, Hou charges his feature-length film with the fear, becoming an essential part of people's everyday life. A City of Sadness recreates the events of the 1940s where corruption was under control, and everybody could have been arrested for far-fetched accusations for bonds with guerillas or without any accusations at all. The life of The Lin family we see on the screen is destroyed by the Terror, as one brother dies at the war, the other one is assassinated, the third one suffers brain injury and the last one gets arrested.

Many episodes focus at the protagonists whispering or speaking silently to show everybody is under surveillance. They are afraid of talking since you can get arrested for anything. This is probably why Hou shoots very often through the doors like somebody is always watching while people talk or ruminate. The director makes a great and ironical move introducing the protagonist Wen-ching (portrayed by Tony Leung Chiu-wai). Wen-ching is deaf-mute, and it seems like this the way one can take the things better - not hearing what is happening around and not sharing the opinion. However, Wen-ching gets arrested several times before he finally disappears in the jails. Moreover, the director uses Wen-ching to illustrate the linguistic conflict of post-war times, which was another part producing tension in Taiwan. The irony is that the dialogues in A City of Sadness are present in 5 languages and different dialects, while the protagonist is both deaf and mute to understand it.

Despite the fear and horror we observe, one can hardly say that Hou Hsiao-hsien judged those times very harshly. It is obvious, we see that the events of suppression were awful and it led many families to collapse. However, it was the price the nation had to pay to become stable. The price was certainly too high from the modern point of view, but Hou Hsiao-hsien doesn't give us a strict answer on how to take it. He only acts as a chronicler depicting the drastically important historical events of Taiwan in a perfect way, with dim colours and severe atmosphere of fear. A City of Sadness is a long thought-provoking film disclosing the establishment of Taiwanese nation after the II World War, and it is certainly worth watching, from the historical perspectives.

Flowers of Shanghai (海上花, Hai shang hua) - 1998

The theme of desperate and hopeless life of courtesans was one of the pivotal motifs for another master of the Oriental cinema Kenji Mizoguchi. The Japanese director came up with this topic in The Woman in the Rumour and Street of Shame. The courtesans of Mizoguchi don't live in poverty, yet there is no hope for better living for them. The female protagonists from the story of XIX century writer Han Bangqing are somehow similar, and Hou Hsiao-hsien employs this story for his Flowers of Shanghai screenplay.

We see the scenes from several rich Shanghai brothels (or flower houses) designed for wealthy clients. These are the flower houses where only a few girls live, and they serve to the clients who spend days and hours with them again and again. The wealthy men come here to dine, gamble, smoke opium, splurge money, bring expensive gifts to the women. The houses are also used for arranged marriages. Every scene is enriched with dense colours and gorgeous decorations. The smoke of opium and gossips both courtesans and their wealthy patrons soak in this atmosphere of fake paradise. These men seemingly have forgotten about their life outside the flower houses as the scenes of the film never go beyond the brothel. The women get lots of money from the clients, but their debts also grow. We see women fading away as time goes by, and men being enthralled by the stunning allure of these courtesans, elegance of ornate ambiance and smoke of opium. The wealthy patrons illustrate drug-addled passion and emptiness of tremendous wealth, while the women act as more pragmatic characters seeking to escape their cages in the flower houses. Though they end up learning they belong there, and very of few of them would have a chance to escape, just like in Mizoguchi's films about courtesans.

The influence of Mizoguchi can be also observed in the style Hou develops in Flowers of Shanghai. It is described by a particular way of mise-en-scèn creation and subtle beauty of slow-paced story-telling Kenji Mizoguchi was famous for. Hou enhances the film with something magnetic and mesmerizing which would be growing on the viewers after they had seen the film. This is a very atmospheric and gracious film which is shot entirely in swoon-like long takes which is another courtesy to Mizoguchi's favourite cinematic technique. The most impressive long take is probably the opening 7-minute scene at the dining table in flower house: nothing, but wonderful and artificial paradise we glance at.

To tell the stories of oppressed lives of courtesans Crimson, Jade, Emerald, Jasmine, Pearl and other girls Hou had the fantastic cast in his possession: Michiko Hada, Michelle Reis, Carina Lau, Vicky Wei. The story though revolved around wealthy patron Wang portrayed by Tony Leung Chiu-wai delivering the great performance in collaboration with Hou once again after A City of Sadness. It is spectacular to observe these tense situations the courtesans are involved in, as we see a lot of peculiarities and details of Chinese culture, customs, and traditions of the XIX century. Nevertheless, Flowers of Shanghai is the movie that preliminary draws attention with the unique and sublime aesthetics.

[roymaes]

15 things about Ishval that Brotherhood cut out

After rewatching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood recently, I was once again extremely disappointed at the amount of content the anime cut out when it covered the Ishval war in episode 30. Volume 15 of the manga (which was entirely dedicated to showing the war in detail across four chapters) still remains my favourite volume of the whole series, so I wanted to talk about 15 things that Brotherhood cut out. Some of them are minor scenes and some are more major plot points.

The images I’ve included in this post have been taken directly from the Viz Media manga, as I really dislike the poor quality scanlations of FMA that are out there. I would highly recommend buying Volume 15 for yourself, even if it’s the only volume of FMA you ever own.

The things I’ll be covering are:

Neighbouring country Aerugo’s role in the war

The Ishvalans as people - their lives and strengths

The Rockbells’ extra scenes

The military’s order to kill the Rockbells

Roy, Hughes, and Hawkeye’s extra scenes

Hughes’ extended scenes as a squad captain

Corruption of high-ranking officers and internal assassination

Armstrong’s extra scene

Torture & human experimentation of Ishvalans

Doctor Marcoh & Doctor Knox’s extra scene

Roy’s role as the Hero of Ishval

Scar’s brother’s scenes

Roy’s squad

Children as the victims of the war

The overall portrayal of the war, and how Volume 15 was written/illustrated

** VERY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT, VERY IMAGE HEAVY **

Let’s begin!

1. Neighbouring country Aerugo’s role in the war

Aerugo is the country to the south of Amestris. It’s mentioned in the series that both countries are constantly fighting a war on the border. During the Ishvalan war, the Amestrian military discovers that Aerugo is supplying weapons to Ishval in order to aid them in defeating Amestris. (ch.58)

This discovery is then used as an excuse to purge all Ishvalans from within the military, by claiming that interior soldiers were the ones supplying the weapons. (ch.58)

Later on, when the war has become a full-blown extermination, Ishvalan civilians are seen at the Aerugo border pleading with the border forces to let them in as refugees. Aerugo, despite previously aiding Ishval with weapons, refuses to let them in. (ch.60)

2. The Ishvalans as people - their lives and strengths

Throughout the beginning of Volume 15, we’re shown short glimpses of the everyday lives of ordinary Ishvalans. We see their markets and their homes; we’re shown children playing in the streets and adults talking to each other. This is later juxtaposed with the destroyed landscape of rubble, blood, and bodies (which I’ll talk about more later on). It really helps to reinforce the fact that Ishvalans were just innocent people with ordinary lives as opposed to only existing to be exterminated and further the plot, which is the impression I got from Brotherhood.

Also cut out from the anime is just how powerful the Ishvalans were. Take this panel from chapter 59:

This is just one of a few examples in which Amestrian soldiers are discussing how strong the Ishvalans are. It’s stated that if not for the intervention of the State Alchemists, Ishval probably would have won the war by strength alone.

3. The Rockbells’ extra scenes

The amount of screentime given to Winry’s parents in Brotherhood is so disappointing. In the manga we got to see a lot more of them. It was shown that a lot of their Ishvalan patients were hostile towards them (ch.58)

We see them struggling to treat patients as their medical supplies become scarce and slowly stop being provided to them. They were even warned about the extermination campaign and told to leave Ishval to avoid being killed (ch.58)

Of course, they both refuse to leave and instead stay to continue to treat patients. We see other Amestrians bring food and supplies for the Ishvalan patients, and some Ishvalan children even appear and offer to help the doctors treat people. Overall, the Rockbells are shown to be hard working and to have hope for the future despite their struggle. This hope is later tested towards the end of the volume as more and more people are brought in and medical supplies run out.

4. The military’s order to kill the Rockbells

I couldn’t believe that this was something which was cut from the anime. In the manga (chapter 60), a higher-up commands Kimblee to discreetly kill the Rockbells, as their treatment of Ishvalan patients is damaging Amestris’ efforts in the war.

Kimblee is happy to take the job, but the Rockbells have already been killed by Scar when he arrives. Kimblee then remarks that he admired their conviction to continue treating patients to the end.

Much later during the Briggs arc, Kimblee mentions to Winry that he was part of the squad which recovered her parents’ bodies and mentions their family picture. In actual fact he had been sent to kill them. The assassination plan was never revealed to Ed, Al, or Winry.

5. Roy, Hughes, and Hawkeye’s extra scenes

I’ll only touch on this briefly, as Brotherhood did include most of the scenes where Roy and Hughes were discussing the war and their ideologies. However, a big scene which Brotherhood cut was one in which Roy and Hughes are unexpectedly attacked by an Ishvalan and are saved by Hawkeye’s sniper shot. (ch.59)

This is a much more interesting way to reunite Roy and Hawkeye IMO, since both we the audience and Roy see her actively taking part in the war.

6. Hughes’ extended scenes as a squad captain

This is probably the part which I most wanted to see included in Brotherhood. We see Hughes actually being a soldier, and being damn good at it. In chapter 60 he’s assigned to a sector under the command of Brigadier General Fessler, who I’ll discuss more in point 7. Hughes is ordered to lead a squad into a very dangerous battlefield and as a result sees many of his men die.

It’s at this point that Logue Lowe raises a white flag and requests to be taken to King Bradley to offer his life in exchange for an end to the war. Hughes is the one that Logue Lowe makes contact with, and their interaction is quite heartfelt. Both sides just want the war to be over.

Hughes agrees to take Lowe to Fessler, his commanding officer, which leads me to my next point...

7. Corruption of high-ranking officers and internal assassination

Before Hughes’ scene with Logue Lowe, we’re shown that Commander Fessler is a reckless, arrogant soldier. He sees war as a game and has no issue sending his soldiers out into dangerous situations. As a result, he gets a lot of Amestrian soldiers killed unnecessarily, and it’s clear that everyone under his command finds his attitude repulsive.

This all comes to a head when Hughes and Basque Grand escort Logue Lowe back to Fessler to request an audience with King Bradley. Fessler yells at them and orders them to take the Ishvalans out and shoot them all. Having had enough of his deplorable nature, Basque Grand takes matters into his own hands and assassinates Fessler on the spot.

None of the other soldiers are fazed by this. They unanimously decide to blame Fessler’s death on a “stray bullet”, and allow Basque Grand to take command.

8. Armstrong’s extra scene

In Brotherhood we’re shown Armstrong’s breakdown and subsequent removal from the battlefield. However in chapter 59 there’s an extra scene which adds more to Armstrong’s character and his emotions about the war.

After dozens of Ishvalans are shot dead against the wall he created with alchemy, Armstrong is overwhelmed with guilt and makes a hole in the wall to allow two survivors to escape.

The survivors seem grateful towards Armstrong, but after escaping they are immediately blown away by one of Kimblee’s explosions right in front of his eyes.

Kimblee then comments to Armstrong that if anyone else had seen him aiding Ishvalans, he would have been court martialed. Armstrong collapses to the ground, traumatised and defeated.

9. Torture & human experimentation of Ishvalans

It’s no secret that Ishvalans were experimented on in order to create philosopher’s stones. This is clearly touched upon in Brotherhood, although the manga arguably makes it more horrifying.

What Brotherhood didn’t include is the fact that Ishvalans were being subject to torture under the guise of experiments.

I’m very glad that the scene inside the building was not illustrated. It’s already chilling to see Doctor Marcoh reacting to the screams and Doctor Knox’s casual explanation. The fact that we’re not able to see what’s happening and have to use our imagination is enough to get the picture.

10. Doctor Marcoh & Doctor Knox’s extra scene

Speaking of Doctor Marcoh and Doctor Knox, the entire scene between them is very interesting. In Brotherhood we don’t see them interact much (if at all) until the end of the series. In the manga they are discussing their roles as doctors. They even mention the Rockbells and how they differ from each other as doctors.

This panel is nicely mirrored by the following panel on the opposite page:

It’s hard-hitting to see characters we care about questioning the reasons for the war, and how their abilities are being used to kill rather than to help. It’s not a case of them acting like victims, but more voicing the fact that the world is wrong and something needs to change.

11. Roy’s role as the Hero of Ishval

This is yet another scene which I was surprised that Brotherhood cut out. In the first 14 volumes of the manga we see Roy being addressed as “The Hero of Ishval”, but the reason is never explained. In chapter 61 it’s revealed that he was the one who actually ended the war by killing the “last” Ishvalan, a defenseless old man with a dog.

Roy’s face is masked in the beginning of the scene. He allows the man the chance to say his last words. The Ishvalan smiles and he chooses his words carefully, looking Roy right in the eyes as he says them:

Roy’s face here says it all. Those words will haunt him for the rest of his life. The war is over, but it doesn’t feel like a victory. Gaining the title of the “Hero of Ishval” does nothing for Roy but fill him with self-hatred (this is shown a few pages later).

12. Scar’s brother’s scenes

Another point which I’m only going to touch on briefly. I do think that Brotherhood covered all of Scar’s brother’s scenes, however I personally dislike the fact that Scar’s flashbacks were spread out over several episodes. It almost felt like Scar’s brother had less scenes in the anime because of this. It’s much easier to follow his story when it’s included within the war and isn’t split into rushed parts.

The manga also emphasises his optimism and his belief that Amestrians and Ishvalans have a lot in common and can live peacefully together. He truly believes that individuals can change the flow of the world to become positive.

13. Roy’s squad

During the Promised Day arc, Roy calls upon several men to help him in the coup d’etat. In Brotherhood it isn’t really explained who these men are, where Roy knows them from, or why he recruited them to help out. Well, in the manga we’re introduced to them much earlier on and we learn that they’re all surviving members of Roy’s squad during the war.

Roy feels guilty for not even knowing the men who were underneath him. He reflects on the fact that he can barely remember the names of his comrades who died, and doesn’t know a thing about the Ishvalans he killed. The surviving squad members thank him for ending the war and hail him as a hero, which leads Roy to further self-hatred and he states his vow to protect as many people as possible since he doesn’t believe that he should be hailed as a hero at all.

14. Children as victims of the war

Brotherhood seems to shy away from the fact that a lot of the Ishvalans who were killed were children. Throughout the anime we’re occasionally shown children running or crying, but never outright see children injured or dead (at least, not up close or in a graphic way).

On the other hand Arakawa is not only unafraid to show children as the victims, but actually emphasises how many children were killed.

We see the Rockbells struggling to cope, and Sara becoming desperate as she tries to save a child. We’re shown Ed, Al, and Winry sitting at home to really put forward the fact that children of their age are the ones getting killed in the war.

15. The overall portrayal of the war, and how Volume 15 was written/illustrated

The main difference that I see between the manga’s portrayal of Ishval and Brotherhood’s adaptation is that the manga really made it feel like a war. Brotherhood has some bloody scenes, but nowhere near to the extent that the manga shows.

At the start of volume 15, there’s a brief note from Arakawa about the writing of these chapters. She states that she interviewed WWII war veterans, read books, and watched films and footage at length to make sure she portrayed war as realistically as possible. Her research really shows throughout the volume. In most scenes, even if it’s a scene of two characters having a conversation, dead bodies, rubble, and blood are commonly visible in the background. This increases more and more as the chapters go on, showing the destruction pile up as the Ishvalans are wiped out.

As well as bodies, we also see people being killed very violently. We see victims of Roy’s flame alchemy charred, crying, and struggling to breathe as he finishes them off at close range, something which Brotherhood never showed.

There’s an incredible inverted colour two-page spread which showcases all aspects of the war together. There are panels of the state alchemists carrying out their work, panels of explosions and children crying, dead bodies and charred corpses, with Envy laughing maniacally by the side. I’d post it here but I really wouldn’t do it any justice by having it shrunk down.

The final thing I wanted to say is just how much of a genius writer Arakawa is. FMA was released monthly when it was being written, and yet all four Ishval chapters fit perfectly in one volume and flow into one another with this incredible atmosphere which builds up right to the end of the war. It’s an atmosphere that I can’t really put into words, but it’s something which leaves me with a feeling of sadness, unease and satisfaction all at once every time I read the entire volume from start to finish. I refuse to believe that Arakawa didn’t plan this ahead to make sure all four chapters ended up as one volume.

To conclude I want to reiterate my plea: please buy volume 15 of the FMA manga and read it if you haven’t done so already. The many excerpts which I included in this long post are only a fraction of what these four chapters have to offer. Brotherhood’s depiction of Ishval doesn’t even come close to matching up with Arakawa’s incredible, thoroughly-researched portrayal of war, and reading this part of the manga will help any anime-only fans to appreciate the series even more.

Thanks for reading!

[miss-musings]

In Defense of TLJ’s Finn/Rose Subplot (SPOILERS)

I’ve seen a lot of criticism about the film as a whole, but of the Finn/Rose subplot specifically.

Now, I have some legitimate problems with the subplot; I’m not saying it was 100% flawless and amazing and completely necessary. There are definitely parts of it that should’ve been deleted, extended or changed.

For instance, I thought the whole “animal abuse” angle was a little heavy-handed; and the sequence where they trashed the whole town could’ve been about a minute or two shorter; and some of the dialogue and shots of BB-8 could’ve been cut down; and how the casino felt a little to “Earth” or “real-to-life” and not alien or foreign or fantastical enough to feel like a Star Wars planet; and how the culmination of the subplot -- ie, Rose (presumably) falling in love with Finn -- was a shot where Rose saves Finn from sacrificing himself for the Resistance, and then when their friends are endangered because she stopped him... as the First Order is literally blowing up their hideout... she takes that opportunity to kiss him. And then collapses. Like, I got the point, and I liked her line about “saving what we love,” but it just felt a little disjointed tone-wise.

HOWEVER.

I felt like this subplot had a lot of positives and gave us a look at some topics/themes/perspectives that I felt like we needed at this point in the trilogy/franchise.

An example: so, in the first movie, the First Order are evil. They raid the village on Jakku, killing everyone. They raid Maz’s place on Takodana, killing a lot of people and causing massive destruction. They blow up several planets. Etc.

But, in this movie, we see the wider ranging impact’s of the First Order’s regime on the galaxy’s population at large. Rose tells us about how her home planet was exploited by the First Order for its resources, and then the regime tested the weapons on its people. On Canto Bight, we see how wealthy some have become because they sell supplies to the First Order (and the Resistance), and the grim and abusive reality that exists behind this facade of extravagance and wealth (ie, the animals and kids who work with them are both maltreated).

I think it’s also important to remind the audience, that while we follow the main plot of the Resistance vs. the First Order, Jedi vs. Sith, etc., like 95% of the people in this galaxy are just carrying on with their daily lives. They’re not pilots or Stormtroopers or Force-wielders or whatever. They’re just everyday people.

Well, somewhat.

This was something that made the Clone Wars series so strong, was that we got to see how people outside of the War itself were living. How it impacted their lives. And it’s another thing that I think makes this sideplot somewhat successful.

It also showed us that the desire to rebel against the corrupt and abusive establishment/status quo is alive and well in the hearts of young children; that like our heroes of all three trilogies, they have the desire to change their lives/destinies... that they have hopes of better lives. Of adventure. Of heroism. Of peace. Of happiness. Just as Luke did when he looked at the Twin Suns in “A New Hope.” That sequence showed us that Holdo was right. Even if their allies didn’t come to save them today (in TLJ), the hopes of the Resistance are alive and well in the hearts of the downtrodden, like the little kids on Canto Bight.

NOW.

The biggest criticism I’ve seen of the subplot is that it was pointless. That it didn’t accomplish anything. That Finn and Rose went all that way, got captured, and then lucked their way into an escape. That they didn’t do what they set out to do, which was turn off the tracking device so the Resistance could escape the First Order. That their plan failed.

But, the defense I have for that is:

Since when did anything in Star Wars go according to plan?

Especially in the original trilogy.

Episode 4: Luke and Obi-Wan try to get the droids to Alderaan, but it’s destroyed and they get captured. And then, while they DO rescue Princess Leia and get away from the Death Star, Luke loses Obi-Wan in the process and then they lead the Empire right to the base on Yavin 4. Great job, you guys. I guess the trench run and blowing up the Death Star went according to plan, but that seems to be more of an exception than the rule. And, plus, you know, had to end the movie on a happy note.

Episode 5: The evacuation of Hoth is somewhat successful. But, Han & Co.’s attempts to escape the Imperial Fleet don’t go so well. They get tracked by Boba Fett to Cloud City, Han’s “friend” Lando betrays them, and then when they try to save Han from Boba Fett, they fail. That whole side plot was nothing but failure. The heroes got captured. Han got tortured, frozen in carbonite and taken. Vader was successful in luring Luke into a trap. Luke got his hand cut off, and his friends had to come back and save him. And Vader would’ve caught them if R2 hadn’t reactivated the hyperdrive.

Episode 6: The infamous “It’s a Trap” line exists for a reason. The Empire essentially lures the Rebels into attacking the Death Star / Endor. When Han & Co. try to take down the shield generator, they’re caught. Lando & Co. get drawn into a gigantic space battle they weren’t anticipating. Yes, it all works out in the end, but that’s because this is the ending and the good guys HAVE to win, because that’s how Star Wars works.

A quick look at the prequel trilogy:

Episode 1: The Jedi’s plan to negotiate fails when the Trade Federation tries to kill them; their plan to escape Naboo partially fails because they have to stop off at Tattooine for parts where they get attacked by Darth Maul. The re-taking of Naboo is mostly successful: the Trade Federation is defeated; the droids stopped; and Darth Maul killed. However, Qui-Gon dies in the fight.

Episode 2: Obi-Wan was somewhat successful in finding out about Jango Fett and Count Dooku, but then ultimately got captured. And then when his rescuers, Padme and Anakin, came to save him they got captured too! And then, while our heroes were ultimately rescued, a they did ultimately kick off A WAR THAT ENCOMPASSED THE ENTIRE FUCKING GALAXY!!! Let’s not forget that.

Episode 3: Obi-Wan and Anakin’s plan to rescue the Chancellor was like a 95% success. There were some minor hiccups, and General Grievous got away, but the Chancellor was saved and Count Dooku was defeated. Then Obi-Wan’s plan to defeat General Grievous is a success. But then his and Yoda’s plans to defeat Anakin and the Emperor, respectively, don’t go as they’d hoped. Obi-Wan DOES defeat Anakin, but leaves him alive; and Padme dies giving birth; meanwhile Yoda fails to defeat the Emperor and the Republic is lost amid the First Galactic Empire.

And then in our new trilogy:

Episode 7: Poe’s plan to get the map from Lor San Tekka goes awry when they’re attacked, everyone’s killed, except Poe who’s captured and has to hide the plans with BB-8. Finn’s plan to escape with Poe is also a partial failure, as they get stranded on Jakku and he’s separated from Poe and believes him to be dead. They successfully get BB-8 off planet and away from the First Order, but then get “captured” by Han and Chewie. Han’s plan to convince the gangs to leave doesn’t work, and they barely escape on the Falcon. The plan to get BB-8 on a “clean ship” at Maz’s also goes badly when the First Order attacks and Rey is kidnapped and the others almost captured. The overall plan to blow up Starkiller and rescue Rey is successful, because this is a Star Wars movie and we need a happy-ish ending in our first part of the trilogy to get people invested in the heroes, but we do lose Han.

Then, with our one spinoff movie:

Rogue One: Jyn and Cassian are successful in finding Bodhi and Galen’s message on how to destroy the Death Star, but there are hiccups in HOW they do it. They get caught in a street battle. They get spotted and almost captured by the Stormtroopers. Then they actually get captured by Saw’s people. Their plan to kill/rescue Galen pretty much fails, as Galen is killed by Rebel bombs when Jyn was hoping to save him, but then Cassian fails to shoot him when he has the chance. And, of course, the big finale is ultimately a success, but at a large price and with several hiccups. Rather than getting in and out by stealth (which I assume was the plan for at least Jyn, Cassian and K2SO) the whole Rogue One team is spotted and a large battle ensues on all sides. EVERYONE ON THE TEAM DIES! Major Rebel leaders are captured/killed. While the goal of the mission was accomplished, it didn’t go ACCORDING TO PLAN.

As I said: plans in Star Wars, especially those concocted by the heroes against a larger force, rarely go as planned.

I don’t see why people are shocked that Finn and Rose were unsuccessful in their mission considering:

1) They failed to find the right the Master Codebreaker considering that they made ZERO effort to be inconspicuous or stealthy while on Canto Bight. They parked right on the beach, despite being told not to, which should’ve told them that the police were going to be called to sic them eventually. And, as we see during their ride later there were plenty of out-of-the-way places where their shuttle wouldn’t have been spotted. They also made no effort to blend in with either their attitudes or their clothes and looked like a bunch of weirdos that I’m surprised weren’t thrown out of the casino for breaking dress code. Like, it should’ve been clear to the audience that these two -- while they might’ve “known” what they were doing -- did not have the capabilities to execute their plans successfully. They were set up for failure. They weren’t necessarily the right people for the job. Or should’ve had other, more or equally capable people on their team, like someone who is good at infiltration / smooth-talking people into helping them.

2) Finn’s knowledge of the First Order’s protocol was enough to be legit, but should’ve thrown up some red flags for us, the audience. It’s been at least a few days, possibly a week or two, since the Starkiller Base was destroyed. I mean, we have no idea how long it was from when Rey brought Finn back to the Resistance Base to when Rey left to find Luke. I’m guessing not more than like a day, considering she’d never even fucking met Poe. And considering that the Rey/Luke stuff if about simultaneous to the Resistance evacuation thing, it can’t have been more than two weeks from when Starkiller Base was destroyed, IMO. So, in those two weeks, or probably less, the First Order has to know (from Phasma, if no one else), that Finn helped the Resistance infiltrate the Starkiller Base. They know that a traitor is working for their enemy and their systems are vulnerable. Surely, they would’ve changed some protocols, security procedures, code clearances, or whatever between Finn’s defection and the Resistance’s evacuation. If not on purpose, then at least by chance. How does Finn know the First Order hasn’t upgraded its coding system since he was with them? Especially given that it’s Snoke’s ship, so you know it’d be upgraded first and/or have a higher security setting than your regular ship.

3) It was clear from the offset that DJ (Benicio del Toro’s character) was interested in helping them only because it suited him at the time. He was very much out for himself, had a questionable moral compass (like stealing the ship on Canto Bight), and was ultimately only interested in the money. Why some people were so shocked or felt so let down when he betrayed them is baffling to me. Maybe if you’re like a 5 year-old. Also, if you rewatch the movie, you’ll notice there’s a little look that DJ gives whenever he hears Poe talking about Holdo’s plan to use the transports to escape. Like a little “Huh, that might come in handy later” look.

4) The entire point of the sequence was to show that the reality behind the war is a lot more “gray” than it is “black” and “white.” As DJ shows Finn and us, there are people who don’t have any allegiance and have no problem selling arms to both sides. There are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the First Order, or the Resistance, or both. That’s a point that Game of Thrones/ASOIAF series does very well of hitting: that the grander wars tear apart the lives of the “small folk,” who ultimately don’t care who wins or loses so long as their lives are peaceful and secure. Remember that Palpitine rose to power as Emperor on the idea that he could bring PEACE AND SECURITY to the Republic as an Empire, because the Republic had failed and the Jedi had failed, and he was the only one who could help the “small folk” attain the lives they wanted. Or whatever. Sorry, for the digression.

5) There were clear hints throughout the infiltration sequence that Finn and Rose were going to get caught. Like DJ’s “betrayal,” I don’t get why people were so shocked by this.

NOW.

All that being said, I do agree that the overall effect on the story was missing. Finn and Rose, at the end of the day, accomplished nothing either as people or as a story element. Yes, narratively, it helped world-build and gave us some good thematic material (grayness in a world built on “black” and “white,” light and dark, etc.). But, they didn’t DO anything, even as they were escaping. I guess Finn killed Phasma, but that’s about it. Holdo tearing through the Supremacy could’ve killed Phasma and it wouldn’t have made much difference. We didn’t see Finn maybe planting seeds of rebellion/resistance in the minds of his fellow Stormtroopers. We didn’t see them steal any like piece of equipment like a Master Key or some kind of important file that might’ve come in handy later in this movie or in the next one. So, in that sense, yes, the sideplot was weak and pointless.

At the end of the movie, all it did was bring Finn and Rose closer together.

But, then again, you could say the same thing about the Han and Leia sideplot in Episode 5. What difference would there have been plot-wise if Han and Leia had been captured right after leaving Hoth than later on Cloud City? Han probably still would’ve been tortured and then taken by Boba Fett. Luke still would’ve been lured into a trap. Leia & Co. probably would’ve still failed to save Han, etc. In a way, you could argue that THAT whole sideplot was filler only to:

buy time for Luke to train with Yoda so he could stand something of a chance against Vader in the Cloud City duel

do some world-building (asteroid field, giant worm thing, Cloud City, bounty hunters, Lando, etc.)

bring Han and Leia closer together as part of a romance subplot

show us their desperate flight to escape the Empire, only to seemingly succeed and then ultimately fail by getting captured.

Hey, wait a minute.... isn’t that exactly what this subplot did, too?

It was filler (as was the Resistance’s arbitrary 18-hours of fuel limitations or whatever) to buy time while Rey was off training with Luke / having Force-bond sessions with Kylo Ren.

It did some world-building (Canto Bight, master code breakers, kids who are Rebels at heart, animals and humans who can’t live in peace because of the war, etc.).

It brought Finn and Rose closer together as part of a possible romance subplot.

It showed us their desperate plight to save their friends only to almost succeed and then ultimately fail by getting captured.

Congratulations, everyone, you just watched Rian Johnson subtly rewrite The Empire Strikes Back and give it to you in the guise of a new storyline.

THIS is probably the REAL reason everyone hates the subplot, even if they don’t consciously realize it. In the same way everyone seemingly hates on TFA for being too much like A New Hope, this movie was tonally and sometimes plotwise too much like The Empire Strikes Back.

And while some of that is appropriate and expected, we the audience have a right to be angry when movie franchises repeat themselves too much to the point of being uncreative.

Anyway, I’ve rambled about this enough. I just wanted to defend the subplot because, while it has problems, I think it has merit to the overall darker and more desperate tone of the movie, the world-building both on a physical and a thematic level (the grayness), and allowed for some nice (but cheesy) character moments.

SO.

TL;DR : Does it have problems? Yes. Is it too similar to The Empire Strikes Back’s subplot when you really thing about it? Yes.

But does that mean it’s total garbage? No. Or even if it is:

(Side note: after writing all of this out, I stumbled onto this article that touches on the same topic, and one of the same things that I brought up, but in a little more detail. Read if you want. I don’t care.)

[madokasoratsugu]

SouTaku and Ikumi x Megumi for the ship meme?

aaaaAAA YES. btw ikumi/megumi (god bless u for sending this ship 2 me btw) is under the cut else this would have gotten Long lmao

send me a ship and ill break them down

Soutaku:

How did they they meet?

one arrogant speech and extended shoe grinding later

Who developed romantic feelings first?

OH BOY definitely Takumi !! he starts to realise that this rivalry is getting a lot more serious, and hey, he wants to be by this guy’s side not just because he’s a fun challenge, he has this way with words and smiles a little too wide that makes you breath catch and is stupidly good looking and - oh.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

Isami.....he saw through his brother Straight Away, but unlike popular belief doesn’t tease him about it from the get go. he let Takumi sort through his feelings (and internalised homophobia) but gently lets Takumi know that he’s there for him and honestly, he just wants his brother to be happy :”))) even if he has to pull a few strings himself to help his brother hohoho

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

after they confess to each other, there’s relieved laughter and bumping foreheads and shaking hands, and Takumi, still riding the adrenaline high, leans in and kisses Souma on the corner of his mouth, smile sloppy and honest against Souma’s skin. Souma immediately goes in for a better aimed kiss after Takumi moves away, and there’s no fireworks or popped champagne; but there’s soft sighs and melting fear and that’s enough.

Who confessed their feelings first?

THEY YELLED IT AT EACH OTHER DURING END OF SECOND YEAR LMAO. a fiery argument about avoidance and excuses leads to them screaming confessions and awkward silences and just ?? kk we like each other hahah- wait wHAT TH

orr an alternate confession scene i like equally is Takumi confesses to Souma during graduation but Souma doesn’t reciprocate(or he thinks he doesn’t) and rejects Takumi and all Takumi can do is smile and say “yeah, i know.”but then months later of unwarranted irritation, Souma sees Takumi tagged in a photo on Instagram and everything hits him at once and he realises he’s made a big miss steak 

What was their first official date?

i wish i could say they planned it but god damn, Souma is shit at following plans and Takumi wants/expects too much so they compromise and decide to improvise on the day itself.

so they end up with the same idea: food tour !!!! they spend the entire morning/afternoon exploring the city and all the lil alleyway stores hidden away plus visiting well known restaurant. in the late afternoon till evening they wind up resting on a park bench talking while sharing too sweet soda and too salty fries. they hold hands the entire time and share shy kisses in the shade whenever they can (it sort of becomes a game about who can sneak the most kisses during the date)

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

sorta eh. they’re not super into the idea but not against it either? dk imo they’d prefer having personal dates but they’re open to having double dates.

What do they do in their down time?

(when they’re not cooking)

Souma watches trash tv while Takumi reads, curled up against Souma. occasionally they’ll make comments about the other’s media of choice. (”you think that book is good? wait till you get to chapter 5″ “are you watching another rerun of csi miami??”)

together though, they enjoy going out together for walks and checking out newly opened shops (any and all types welcomed). 

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Jouichirou was so. so chill. a surprised blink, then shrugged and absolutely burst into a grin. “i see, i see. so what about my son attracted you, Takumi?” there’s no intimidation or anything bc he already knows Takumi is a competent, dependable and stout hearted person and chef from Central Arc, and is a better person than he ever hoped Souma could find (and spend the rest of his life with).

Toshiaki and Aurora were a lot more surprised (mainly bc Takumi was so closed off about love), though Aurora kinda...expected it. a mother’s sixth sense is hardly ever wrong, and the fluster her elder son gets into when the redhead is mentioned over the phone gives away waaay more than Takumi ever realises. Toshiaki has a quiet talk with Souma (which he testifies to be a lot more scary than his encounter with Aurora earlier in the kitchen) about Takumi, their relationship and future plans. but the couple are quick to accept Souma, it’s hard not to trust and love someone their own son loves so dearly, after all.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

(barring the confession scene fight)

Souma’s wanderlust can’t be contained, and Takumi knows this. but they get engaged young (probs 21ish) and Souma is away more often and gets in contact less than Takumi likes, and it makes him uneasy and worried and he deals with this by overworking.

after too much lack of sleep nearly has Takumi collapsing in the kitchen and one sternly cold phone call by Isami later, Souma rushes back to Italy and confronts Takumi. Takumi has an outburst of more sadness and frustration (towards himself for not being able to articulate his feelings, not being able to handle anything well and not being able to trust Souma fully; “i was the one who said it was okay for you to go, how can i be so selfish as to ask you to come back as and when i want?”) than anger and Souma is fuckin heartbroken. 

they end up talking a lot about the importance of communication and letting feelings out and being better fiances to each other that night.

(its not rly a fight bc i cant imagine them fighting over anything more serious than “i told you to tell me when we ran out of milk, this is the third time this month you haven’t, yukihira souma !!!” or getting angry at each other over something actually relevant like their safety or smth lolol)

Which one is more easily made jealous?

oooh this surprises a lot of people but Souma. Souma is so easily made jealous, and the best part is no one can tell? Takumi gets jealous too, but not as easily or as irritated as Souma.

Souma gets all sorts of jealous, like he’ll purposely hold the hand that that weird salesman grabbed for a little too long, snake his arm around Takumi’s waist a little too tightly when he catches someone just looking in Takumi’s direction. his attitude also does a complete 180 when he’s jealous; he’s a lot more curt and annoyed. Takumi finds this weirdly cute.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

this is so fuckin cliche but each other’s homecooking :”)))

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

Takumi is the touchy feely one !! he really likes being in contact with Souma in one way or another. fav cuddling position is curled up against Souma’s side or back against Souma’s chest, in between his legs.

Are they hand holders?

YAH TOTALLY. chronic hand holders. try catching them together without holding hands. they especially like twining their fingers together. 

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

///vaguely nsfw

........personally i think they slept together nearing the end of third year? after their finals, during an in between break after finals+results and before their graduation.

Isami was away for a head start in his internship with Momo, and they were alone at Takumi’s apartment. it was raining pretty badly and getting chilly, so Souma suggests sharing blankets when they’re going to bed entirely just to tease Takumi, but Takumi actually crawls under covers with him and Souma’s ?? didn’t expect that but not complaining. 

they’re just quietly sitting against the wall, acutely aware of how close they are when Takumi turns to Souma and starts trying to say something but doesn’t, and Souma just kisses him, once, gently. (“just felt like it.” “oh.”) then one kiss leads to another and welp.((don’t ask takumi why he has a bottle of lube in his bedside drawer, he’ll combust and maybe die.))

Who tops?

they switch, all the time. depends on mood and atmosphere !! 

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

the first time they ever tried to dirty talk in Italian. Souma started it and it was horrendous. Takumi couldn’t stop laughing for weeks any time he remembered it. he still can’t.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Takumi does more of the shopping (though they often do it together) and Souma cooks more !! they try to split the tasks (esp cooking) equally but there’re preferences and they lean towards it. 

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

......Takumi. he’s actually tidy on a normal person’s standard. Souma is tidy on his own standard, which is ‘as long as i know where everything is, why does it matter that my desk looks like world war z?’

Who proposes?

Souma !! he actually hooks Shinomiya into it - getting them an isolated table at SHINO’s Tokyo for a nice dinner, then going for a short walk to a romantic and private place around the area where he can propose (as recommended by Shinomiya). Souma settles for under a willow tree near the edge of a park, and Takumi cries a lot. 

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

they have one together !! actually its more of an afterparty with everyone they’ve invited to their wedding !! 

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Isami is Takumi’s best man ofc. Megumi is Souma’s maid of honour !! 

Big Ceremony or Small?

a small ceremony !! not being outed to everyone in the entire world is preferable, esp when they both have insane reputations from graduating Tootsuki as second and third seats.

ive talked about their future wedding here before haha!!

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

OHH DEF. idk tho like....probs somewhere ridiculously romantic like Paris. they’re a ridiculously sappy couple. they have fun sightseeing and tasting authentic French cuisine. 

Do they have children? How many?

never really thought about it, but they def have dogs, if that counts? two, to be exact. both adopted, one golden retriever named lemonade and a dobermann named stoic. they are aptly named after their characteristics; lemonade is bubbly and fun, stoic is, well, stoic. 

Ikumi/Megumi:

How did they they meet?

through Souma, ironically enough. its funny ending up with someone who used to crush on the same person you did :”)))

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Ikumi !!! after she got over Souma (pretty quickly too, near the end of her first year and realising she could do a lot better and Souma wasn’t anywhere interested in her anyway), and started figuring a lot of things about herself, she started paying a lot more attention to Megumi (it helps that they had tons of classes together in second year), because something about Megumi just...attracts people and makes them watch out for her, yknow? 

her friendship with Megumi deepens quite a bit, and they even start having lunch together + instinctively looking at each other during partner/group work. she kinda...guesses that she might like Megumi but its after one really vivid dream of Megumi and her on a date later, that Ikumi actually confronts her feelings lol.

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

Souma !! he’s really goshdarned happy that Ikumi finally found someone she liked properly (he was aware of her crush, but never said anything bc he figures whatever form of love it is, it really isnt his place to say anything till Ikumi does) and that Megumi, sweet darling Megumi, has someone to properly cherish and love her.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

around Summer of second year, during a festival, under the fireworks. they were sitting next to each other on a grassy field, watching the fireworks flare to life noisily. with each illuminating bloom, throwing dully neon colours over the wondrous look on Megumi’s face, Ikumi finds her heart beating faster and harder.Megumi turns to comment about how pretty the fireworks are, Ikumi agrees, and kisses her softly. they break apart after a while, and there’s a little embarrassed fluster and ‘o-oh my gosh i dont know what got into me - !’ before Megumi shyly pipes up that it was nice, and she didn’t mind. they spend the rest of the fireworks show leaning against each other, their fingers curled together on their laps.

Who confessed their feelings first?

Megumi !! she was behaving oddly shy that day, and Ikumi was ?? what’s going on. during lunch, she offers Ikumi a charabento and Ikumi is really touched, and impressed. “you made this, tadokoro-chan?” “a-ah, y-yes, uhm - !” “wow, that’s amazing, you have to teach me how to make it sometime !!” “uhm - !! ikumi-san...” snapping of chopsticks, a blinding smile. “yes?” “i-i really like you.” the words come a near whisper, swept away with the wind. the sudden flush of Megumi’s face isn’t gone that easily, though. 

Ikumi finds herself blushing madly too, and she blurts “really??” and Megumi looks at her for a moment, before hesitantly nodding. Megumi’s fists knead into her plaid skirt, averting Ikumi’s dumbfounded stare. “i - i don’t know how to explain it, but you make me really, really happy and floaty and it’s just...i wanted you to know that you mean something special to me.” Ikumi feels like a cat has gotten her tongue. “and i - i don’t need an answer n - now -” “but i like you too !!”and then it’s a blushing fest and a spying Souma from the second floor fist pumps the air. 

What was their first official date?

AMUSEMENT PARK DATE. Ikumi’s never been to one and Megumi thinks that is Abominable and Must be remedied immediately.

it’s fizzy and fun and oh boy, do they go wild. all the roller coasters, carnival snacks and rides they can go on they do. they take So Many selfies, buy the cutest matching headbands, and laugh so much their cheeks get sore. 

at the end ofc they go on the ferris wheel and enjoy a romantic 45min alone, quietly appreciating the spectacular view and their girlfriend’s beauty.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

they’re ok with it !! 

What do they do in their down time?

(when not cooking lol)

Megumi really, really likes plants, but doesn’t have the confidence to have an entire veranda garden like Takumi bc of lack of experience (u should see Takumi’s veranda back in Italy) and general anxiety about it, so she keeps a few potted plants, cacti and bonsai instead !! she likes spending time trimming her bonsai or talking to them !

Ikumi dabbles in the crafts, like sewing and knitting, as a major fuck you to her dad (she can be a capable boss and feminine at the same time these things aren’t mutually exclusive). she made a few of her own outfits + Megumi’s !! in fact Megumi’s fac one piece dress was made my Ikumi :”))

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Megumi’s parents were a lil surprised bc sweet lil Megumi has brought back a potential partner !! dear u will not believe this !! Ikumi made lots of effort to dress up and look proper, so they quickly warmed up to her earnest nature and really, really liked her. she left an incredibly good first impression with her personality and great conversational skills. the fishermen dudes were skeptical and protective of Megumi at first but Ikumi’s competence and care for Megumi quickly shone through and they readily accepted her. someone Megumi cares for that much has to be a good person, they reckon :”))

Ikumi’s mother really, really liked Megumi. she found Megumi’s soft spokenness and iron will really endearing, and was glad Ikumi had found someone who accepted her for all is she and even encouraged her to become a better version of herself. Ikumi’s dad was an asshole who refused to even see Megumi, because he doesn’t believe in marrying down your status. Megumi left a note with a medium rare steak (fav dish of Ikumi’s dad) she cooked, requesting that Ikumi’s mum serve this to him later on. Ikumi’s dad could sense the sincerity in Megumi’s dish, but doesn’t fully accept her till ~2-3years later. 

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

after one particularly bad family weekend with Ikumi’s dad, Ikumi was upset that Megumi let him walk all over her like that. they fought a little, mainly Ikumi ranting about how Megumi is too soft, why shouldn’t she stand up for herself?! why should she have to stand for all this verbal abuse? (Megumi had withstood nearly the entire evening, till Ikumi’s dad sneered a comment that made Ikumi twitch uncomfortably. then she’d spoken up, softly. “please don’t speak about your own daughter this way, Mito-san. it’s highly unbecoming and irksome.” then had a staredown before Ikumi’s dad left the table w/out finishing the meal.)

Megumi manages to calm a near tears Ikumi down, and explains that its just a part of getting Ikumi’s dad to accept her, but nonetheless agrees to stick up for herself a little more.

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Ikumi !! :’3cc she has a habit of clicking her tongue when she gets jealous lol.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

Megumi’s fav is Ikumi’s homemade ice cream !! she doesn’t make it much but it’s so creamy and good.

Ikumi really enjoys all of Megumi’s soups/stews !! warm and filling and perfect for a rainy/Winter day in.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

both !!! they like facing each other, snuggled tight.

Are they hand holders?

kinda? they like holding hands for sure, but link arms a lot more.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

//vaguely nsfw

hmmm they’re about 20-21ish when Ikumi’s dad is kinda approving of Megumi alr and they’re in a peaceful time for their relationship !! Megumi is back at her ryokan helping out, and Ikumi visits her.

they share Megumi’s room for the night, which is pretty big, and there’s this Mood, and they get down to it !! 

Who tops?

switch, depends on mood !! i actually headcanon neither have really high libidos, so they don’t sex much lolol

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

the first time they tried to take a selfie. the wrong angle, combined with an unstable hand, nervous smiles and ‘idk why its not taking the photo waIT IT IS -’ made for a pretty hilarious experience.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

they do it together !!! catch em in the kitchen wearing matching aprons and cookin up the finest cuisine u can dream of.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

both are, though Ikumi is more of a stickler for tidiness while Megumi can survive letting things pile up for a while.

Who proposes?

Megumi !! she pops the question immediately after Ikumi’s dad gives her the greenlight for their relationship !! 

while driving them home that night she parks off the side of the road, a highway overlooking the ocean, takes out the engagement ring she’s had on her since forever, “i wanted this to be more romantic, but i just can’t wait anymore -” and she softly asks Ikumi to marry her and Ikumi sobs and nods and it’s perfect.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

together !!! they have a girl’s only slumber party with their close friends from Tootsuki lmao

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Souma is Megumi’s best man !! Takumi is Ikumi’s best man :”))) (they got along really well in the second year too, and keep in touch quite often)

Big Ceremony or Small?

...somewhere in the middle !! Ikumi’s family is fairly influential so the wedding is large scale to a certain amount, but Megumi stated that she’d prefer a more private wedding so they settled for close family and friends with a few trusted business associates.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

yup !!! they go to Venice, Italy ! Megumi has always wanted to go there so they decided to make it their honeymoon destination ! they have a splendid week there, and end it off having a great dinner party at the Trattoria, on Isami and Takumi’s invitation.

Do they have children? How many?

hmmm probably? i headcanon they adopt a 10yo girl and her 14yo brother, and they make a cute family !! 

[morshtalon]

My Top 5 Video Game Intros

Since I haven't posted in a while and since I don't have any ideas for full-fledged reviews, let's do something different today and talk about my 5 favorite intros to video games I enjoyed in the past. Please note that this is a very personal, opinionated list; I have somewhat deliberately avoided really obvious picks (consider Metal Gear Solid 3's and Final Fantasy VI's openings, among others, to be hovering around in spirit somewhere around here). Furthermore, I'm not limiting myself exclusively to that very first, usually pre-rendered opening scene of a game (like, the attract mode before you even press start), because most of the time those are kind of devoid of any meaning and without context, I'd just be judging them by coolness or whatever, which isn't very interesting or inducive to commentary. Anyway, without further ado, here are my top 5 video game intros:

#5: Wild Arms 3's evolving opening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvoueEiVyWE

At first, Wild Arms 3's opening is just a standard anime thing. It's fairly animated and stuff, and that's fine as far as that goes, but there are two things I find quite special with this opening; one that was always there from the start and one that was a product of the localization. First off, there are actually four versions of the opening. You see, the game is separated into 4 chapters, each with a different main villain which is somewhat related to the last, with varying levels of directness. In that way, as has been said before, it feels like seasons of an anime, and I think the game struck a good balance of making itself both a cohesive experience and a sort of episodic narrative simultaneously. To reflect that, the opening "evolves" as you progress through the game, changing key scenes to reflect the current "season" villain. I find that to be pretty awesome and an idea I haven't really seen repeated anymore; I believe mostly due to the fact that WA3 has this sort of unique story direction that lent itself to the evolving intro. Still, more games should adopt this style. They might have, I dunno, this is the coolest example out of the games I've played anyway. The second thing that impresses me is how well the localization performer fared singing the english version of the opening theme, Advanced Wind. I think it's actually better than the original. There's a certain sweetness and determination in her voice that is so fitting with the game's main character, I could almost trick myself into thinking it was actually Virginia hollering those lyrics. Pretty good opening, not higher on the list because it -is- just a pre-title opening I guess, but still. Also, Wild Arms 3 itself is alright, check it out if you're a fan of this kind of stuff.

#4: Cave Story's first taste of gameplay

What makes Cave Story's introduction interesting is that it... sort of doesn't exist. You're just dropped straight into the action with no real clue what's going on besides a brief interaction between two characters that makes completely no sense at that point. Every plot detail is up to you to find out in an immersive manner that doesn't barrage the player with endless backstories and setups and information you don't really need. Even Dark Souls, one of my favorite games and the one I perceive to be closest to the ideal of gameplay and story integration, feels the need to weigh down your mind with stuff before you start. Don't get me wrong, I understand why Dark Souls and many other games need it, but the fact that Cave Story -doesn't- is rather admirable, in my opinion. I love games where you start out without knowing what's going on, solving challenges just based on the fact you're playing a game and need to go forward, to only then start piecing together the great scheme of things from in-game data collection. What's even better about Cave Story is that there's no limitation at the start: you're dropped into full gameplay conditions, without bumbling around a peaceful area while the backstory is exposed to you by an NPC or anything "cinematic" like that. You're just left to figure everything out on your own. Pretty cool.

#3: Dragon Warrior II's extended prologue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OlHofpQ7LA

Dragon Quest 2's original Famicom version started out pretty shitty. It was basically only a slight alteration to the previous installment's intro: you're in a throne room (this time you're actually the prince, sitting on the queen's throne for some reason), some guard from the faraway kingdom of Moonbrooke comes along and warns the king of impending doom before collapsing from his wounds, the king gives you some brief words of encouragement and sets you off on an adventure with minimal financial backup and a crap sword (admittedly, a better deal than in DQ1). For the international version, by some divine intervention causing a brief miracle shining in the face of Nintendo's then-oppressive censorship, an extensive prologue scene was added depicting the events that befell Moonbrooke prior to that guard setting off on his journey. What makes this scene special, however, is how brilliantly it expands on the tropes established by the localization of the previous title. Dragon Warrior 1 had this faux-Elizabethan translation for some reason, which was pretty charming but otherwise just a strange quirk they added for the overseas release. The extended prologue added here actually runs with that theme and frames the story as some kind of fairy tale; a narrator intercepts the dialog message boxes to preface each character's next line, there is some opening text that feels as if some elderly gent from Shakespeare times was weaving a tale in front of his audience's eyes, and it even goes somewhat into detail pretty much leaving no room for the player to doubt that the people of Moonbrooke flat out died. Also, the guard that makes the voyage to your kingdom is given a tiny little bit of characterization, just enough to wrap up the scene pretty much as best as they could have. Overall, this makes Dragon Warrior II have the most engaging start of the original trilogy; it was something they didn't have to do at all, but they did it and actually made the game better for it. At least until you get to Rhone and it starts its genocide of the player's happiness, soul, and reasons to live.

#2: Suikoden II - Reminiscence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WLyjRex0ac

Suikoden II's emotional storyline and comparatively grounded narrative offer a nice contrast to the PSX's library of jRPGs concerned with elevating their epicness to ridiculous degrees. The game really cements this approach on the introductory flashback scene that functions as the opening credits. To me, the reminiscence scene is pivotal, serving a variety of functions that cause ripple effects lasting even beyond one's playthrough of the game. The setup is simple: The main character and his best friend run afoul of a ploy to abruptly terminate a cease-fire between two nations; they are pursued by some knights and cornered at a cliff above a river. You and your friend, then, etch a marking on a spot in the cliff wall and jump into the river below, planning to return to the etched spot should he and you get separated. While you are being carried by the currents, the scene itself begins. It's simply a flashback montage showcasing glimpses of the life you and your friend led leading up to your enrollments in the army and departure for the sabotaged expedition, accompanied by a relatively simple piano piece. However, it's a scene that is central to the themes of the entire game. It provides, first and foremost, a contrast between a perceived bright future with an everlasting bond of friendship and the tragedies that will soon occur in these characters' lives. It's a window into the will and emotions of the main character himself in his comfort zone; the life that he will so clamor to return to as the game progresses and things get increasingly more unwieldy for everyone. It sets up everything you need to know about the relationship between you, your best friend, and your sister on a 2-minute scene with no dialog; conveying all it needs only on its fantastic sprite work and score. It lets you know that this is, first and foremost, a game about feelings and about interpersonal relationships, using the war that you expect to happen from having played Suikoden 1 more as a backdrop to explore introspective consequences and how it affects people's visions. Most importantly, however, is that it serves as a reminder of what it was like for you, the player, when you come back from having completed the game. I literally cannot watch this scene anymore without shedding a tear or two. It happens every time. I actually prefer the normal version with the sepia filter, but I couldn't find it on its own like that, so here's the full-color version of it that you get from doing some ludicrous stunt before you jump into the river or whatever. Either one's fine, really. By the way, get the bad ending. The good one completely ruins the message and weight of the entire story, almost making the game meaningless.

#1: Vagrant Story - Climax of the Graylands Incident https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4m42OmAczo

Vagrant Story is an odd game in many aspects. Its gameplay is a crossbreed of roguelikes and rhythm games, it has yet another strange Shakespearean localization, the characters are dressed all weird and BDSM-y and showing a lot of skin... Anyway, one of the game's odd quirks is that it has tons of stuff that you can miss by pressing start at an inopportune moment. One of them is the simply amazing opening; an epic 11-minute in-engine "cutscene" (with occasional gameplay sections that transition very smoothly because it's all done with in-game models and graphics) jampacked with plot detailing the events leading up to the game's start, with even the music trying its best to synchronize itself with the cutscene's many shifts in mood and intensity. You can easily miss all this because it starts with a long wall of text that most players would read faster than the time it takes for it to disappear and press "start" because they think they're done with it and there's nothing left to see. A shame, really, because to me this one part of the game almost manages to outshine the entire rest of it. There's just such a density of things happening here; this urban gray rainy moody setting is more fitting to the localization's flowery prose than the things that happen in Léa Monde, and it's all just done so well with the PSX's limitations. While pretty much every other game ever opts for FMVs or an otherwise pre-rendered solution for its openings and important moments, Vagrant Story does it all with the same exact rules (well... excluding the vapid meaningless pre-opening that happens before the title screen shows up but just forget about that one), and the result is that everything feels like it has much more weight to it. Also, as I said, there is the advantage of transitioning smoothly into gameplay, which the game -does- go on to use a few times later on for short "boss appearing at the boss arena"-type cutscenes, but those all lack the juice and meat of this glorious opening scene. It's just a meticulously created, awesome example of Video Game craftsmanship, outside of just being really awesome to watch as well. I absolutely love it.

Here are some runners-up: Wild Arms 2's Disc 2 cinematic (US version); Fire Emblem: Thracia 776's opening (before title screen); That part in Actraiser when you descend into Fillmore stage 1 and go into the statue and that kickass track starts playing; The brief scroll down on the dark forest scene in Tales of Phantasia (Super Famicom) before the title screen shows up (really fascinated me as a kid); Lufia: The Legend Returns (odd pick but it has a pretty charming intro with some nice artwork for the GBC); Probably many others that I'm forgetting right now.

Anyway, from this list you can sort of tell what games I like to play so I can excuse myself from writing a dreaded positive review of something for a while. Also, I noticed that things that are done with the in-game engine tend to impress me more than things that aren't, even though it's technically actually more work to do an anime FMV thing I guess? Well, whatever, I'm a hypocrite and stupid so make sure to share your own opinions too if you want I guess I dunno.

[tripstations]

Why I’ll pay extra for holiday travel perks

I have given in. Surrendered. Capitulated completely. To Ryanair.

Like many of you, I have been living in a state of almost constant warfare against the budget airline pretty much since its inception. Yet I can’t quite stop travelling with them.

I live in the north and we don’t get the same choice of carrier you get down south. If I want to go to Rome on any given day in the summer, for example, odds are I either go on Ryanair or via somewhere I don’t much want to go.

But I also have hideous memories of being left in boiling hot information-free corridors with small babies in Malaga. I can’t quite forget the time I forgot my boarding pass and had to pay an insane amount of cash to get it reissued at the airport. I can’t erase the misery of not making it to the front of the queue to board, back when you didn’t get an allocated seat, and having to ask the entire plane to Rubik’s Cube themselves around to get to sit next to my own kids.

And if I type Ryanair into my inbox, much of what comes up is failed attempts to get compensation for a lengthy delay in 2015. All this has long made it impossible for me to give the airline a penny more than I have to. Think no priority boarding, no luggage, no pre-booked seats and most definitely no Pringles on board. Ever. Until now.

Why? I still loathe Ryanair’s nasty system of making you pay extra for seats if you want to check in long enough in advance to print the boarding passes for your return flights before you embark on the outbound leg of your holiday. And I resent the general luggage confusion and costs. But I have finally realised that my own peace of mind is more important than a battle the budget airlines don’t even know I am waging.

So I buy the advance seat reservations. Both ways. I pay for whatever luggage means I won’t feel tense on the way to the gate — even if I end up with less than I booked. And while priority boarding still seems stupid (considering you’ve paid to book a seat with guaranteed cabin bag) I also now happily pay for fast track security. It costs £5 per head to not have to queue or (crucially) worry about time spent queueing. On a hot Friday, this can feel like something of a bargain. As, for that matter, can a few packets of Pringles bought on board to give everyone a break from playing Uno.

It isn’t just the budget airlines I have given in to. My surrender extends to car hire. After a nightmarish time with Goldcar a few years ago, I no longer ever go budget (here I do have a choice). I don’t want to walk a mile to a desk outside the arrivals terminal, and I don’t want to spend the two weeks after my holiday arguing about a £350 charge for a slow puncture.

Recommended

I also don’t want to rent cars from companies that partner with the budget airlines I have to fly with — why stand in a queue with everyone else who just got off my flight? Instead I have upgraded to Hertz Gold and Avis Preferred (this is free to do). They have all my details in their systems already. Once I’ve booked online, all I have to do is turn up and go (you mostly get to jump any queue there is, or even skip the terminal desk and head straight for the car park).

This matters more at some airports that others — yes, Toulouse, I am talking about you. At Bristol airport last week, I had the keys in my hand after one quick flash of my driving licence. From landing in my pre-booked EasyJet seat to reversing out of my parking space took around 20 minutes. Bliss. You also get an automatic upgrade if one is available.

The big car rental firms are far from perfect, but they are certainly more satisfactory than some of the less well known. The last time I rented a car from Hertz, it had a dent in the side already. I had a tangle with a gate post and made that dent rather worse. They didn’t charge me. Others would have. Indeed, they often have.

Hence my final travel capitulation — to American Express — which covers all my travel insurances. A good 70 per cent of people believe they are better than average drivers. I am not one of those people. My platinum Amex covers all travel insurance (note: not anything related to pre-existing medical conditions) and all excess on car hire.

I’ve used the latter. I called them. They sorted it, with almost no admin involved. You can, of course, buy standalone excess policies for around £50 a year from a variety of firms and travel insurance too, but for me that’s just another thing either to forget or feel tense about.

Otherwise, there are credit cards and packaged bank accounts that come with insurance. Which?, the consumer group, has just done a survey of all of them. The top offer comes from Nationwide with its FlexPlus account — travel insurance, mobile phone cover and breakdown cover for £156 a year.

Second is First Direct’s First Directory account — all of the above but with a higher mobile claim limit (£1,500) for £180 a year, although you do have to put £1,000 a month into the account to get the benefits. As an extra, the platinum Amex also comes with two priority passes, each of which let two people into most airport lounges.

This is the kind of thing I would have dismissed as a pointless luxury a few years ago. No more. I travel a lot with my husband and children. They are always hungry. We could queue at Costa and spend £25 a go (feeling stressed as everyone’s blood sugar collapses). Or we could go into the lounge and not queue, not spend £25 and not feel stressed.

Finally, the card allows me to call or email the platinum travel people and get them to book my rental cars and hotels for me. That helps too. I have nightmares about forgetting to book my car with my Amex, crashing and not being insured. Get Amex to do the booking and that can’t happen.

It’s expensive — really expensive — at £450 a year and is soon to rise to £575. But as you might have begun to grasp, it is the kind of expensive that if used extensively translates into value. Or value to me anyway. No one enjoyed travelling with me during the long war of travel attrition. Things are better now I see travelling as part of the trip rather than as a penny-pinching battle around the trip. See you in the lounge.

Merryn Somerset Webb is editor-in-chief of MoneyWeek. Views are personal. merryn@ft.com. Twitter: @MerrynSW

Merryn Somerset Webb will be appearing at the Edinburgh Fringe in her show The Butcher, the Brewer, the Baker and the Commentator from August 17-25

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[apsbicepstraining]

7 WTF Trump Businesses You Never Knew About

Recently, it was revealed that the entire Trump Organization had lost 90 percentage of the importance it had in 2010. 90 percent . If you lose 90 percent of anything, you shouldn’t be allowed to say you still have it — which, in Trump’s case, is “worth.” But this roller coaster of resources is nothing brand-new. If there’s anything the Trump brand has been consistently known for, it’s omission. You perhaps know about Trump Steaks, Trump University, Trump Casinos, and Trump the President, but there are so many other business-shaped skeletons in his closet that he has to stack them on top of the bankruptcy newspapers he too obscures in there. For illustration, did you been talking about …

7

Trump Takeover , aka “Toon Trump”

Donald Trump has always had a cartoonish tone about him, like a Daddy Warbucks who won’t accept that he’s bald-headed and accuses objectively innocent black adolescents of crime. So it’s strange that Trump doesn’t have a small-screen representation of himself running around and stimulating misbehaviour. But that isn’t for lack of trying.

The Trump Organization The tie-in action figure had “real pussy-grip action! “

Trump Takeover would have been an animated sequence focused on Trump fighting for truth, right, and social stimulates — a social right warrior, if you will. With help from his Apprentice cronies, Trump would take over an ailing part of society in crisis and prepare whatever is harassing it. For illustration, “Strike 3 … You’re Fired” takes places in an America, where MLB is on a “downward slide to oblivion” and Donny has to make sure the players are up and ready.

The Trump Organization “Is that fucking person kneeling ?! ” * shits himself in rage *

Another episode, “Taking Stock Of The Market, ” views Trump and friends take over the world economy in order to halt the evil machinations of a “nefarious world fiscal conspiracy, ” with a dialogue which no doubt got a lot of triple parentheses around particular characters’ names.

The Trump Organization

Eventually, in the depressingly prescient “Politically Corrected” episode, Trump would have had to take over the United States( in a “state of virtual breakdown, ” no less) and fix all of its problems, probably by retweeting abhor communication and representing war widows cry.

The Trump Organization Pictured: more parties than at his actual inauguration.

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The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now( 12/5/ 17 )

The closest this sequence ever has now come to airing was when some studio exec probably hurled the storyboards across the chamber in indignation. Artwork was drawn and occurrences were drafted( including a outlandish romp implying aliens attacking NYC ), but the project folded due to an overwhelming shortage in the best interests. Periods have changed, nonetheless, and with Stephen Colbert threatening to create a Trump cartoon, one of the bigwigs behind Trump Takeover recently said that they wouldn’t mind two seconds cranny at the entitlement. But it’s hard to see how the man itself could find the time to be involved , now that he wastes all of his time getting publicly owned by the shadow authority.

6

Trump Shuttle, aka “Falling With Style! ”

In October 1988, Donald Jagerbomb Trump, sick of hovering private like a prole, decided to treat himself and buy an airline. He acquired Eastern Air Shuttle, a fighting New York company which provided daily flights for high-powered entrepreneurs — and Trump. Missing to own everything that screamed “New York” and “failing, ” he bought the airline, renamed it “Trump Shuttle, ” and immediately broke the two cardinal patterns of the airline industry: He maintained telling parties other airlines were hazardous, then did his own airliners more dangerous.

During the Trump Shuttle launch party in 1989, Trump, like any loving emcee, started out by badmouthing the rivalry. In a jumbled tirade, he told reporters that Pan Am( his closest contestant) was a danger to life, limb, and luggage, saying, “I wouldn’t pilot them; they’re losing money and their aircrafts are old.” Regrettably for Trump, a humanity who couldn’t even strong-arm a newborn for their sugar, the airline business guides a little like the Mob. You don’t start saying that other airlines are dangerous, or else you’ll wake up with a propeller in your berth. Sure enough, 3 months later, a Trump Shuttle winging into Boston encountered mechanical problems and roughly disintegrated into the blowout, saved by the skills of the pilot.

The Boston Globe “It was the most beautiful landing you’ve ever seen” — Donald Trump, who never learned how to respond appropriately to disasters

Not that Pan Am got nothing to do with that. Trump was more than capable of sabotaging himself. The effect of the gate-crash was a problem with the landing gear, but we’d like to think the plane was contending for the purposes of the weight of all of Trump’s modifications. After taking over, he redesigned the interior of his airliners according to his, for lack of a better message, savor, installing everything from thick carpeting and leather tushes to faux marble sinks and veneer panel. The in-flight busines was also expanded to include a three-drink service and a gourmet breakfast/ lunch, which was incredibly difficult for the stewardesses to serve in the average time of each flight( nearly 45 times ). Oh, and because it wouldn’t has become a Trump thing if it wasn’t creepy to wives, he also redesigned the stewardesses’ outfits to show more cleavage. Overstuffed and sexist — now you’re operating with Trump!

Apparently, Trump required his airline to have “the look of old money, ” and to his ascribe, that was the only fund the airline ever assured. With the cost of his amendments, the competitiveness of the service, and the reputation damage caused by the disintegrate, Trump Shuttle forgot $128 million within 18 months. It took two and a half years before Trump was forced to give up the airline because holy shit he sucked , after which “its been” bought out by U.S. Airways, who cleaned their brand-new aircrafts so exhaustively of any and all proof pertaining to Trump that you’d think they’d been the incident of a lumber chipper massacre.

Pam Berry/ The Boston Globe Which is, incidentally, how economists refer to Trump.

5

Trump Mortgage, aka “So Long, Suckers! ”

As you’re now well aware, Donald Jesus Trump is one of the kindliest, caringliest, yugest humanitarians to ever mercy countries around the world. So magnificent. The better. So when he launched Trump Mortgage LLC in 2006 , no one had any disbelief that Trump would move a close-fisted, clean carry that could be used to millions of American homeowners with their mortgages, dedicating them the white picket fence future they deserved. MAGA.

Just in case anyone from r/ TheDonald was thinking we’d genuinely changed our attentions, Trump is a grasping, slimy mattress filled with pocket change stolen from donation wishing reservoirs, and it’s little astound that the business ethos of Trump Mortgage showed this in every single lane. Instead of doling out money to mortgage-needers, Trump Mortgage was in fact a brokerage firm that did nothing, owned good-for-nothing, required to go zero threats, and merely existed as a road to con coin from fighting families and business owners. Business was so good that Trump and Trump Mortgage CEO E.J. Ridings threw lavish defendants, plastered their faces everywhere, and even boasted to the press about how “the real estate sell is going to be very strong for a long time to come.”

They did this in 2006.

Even as Trump was gushing off about his mega-bigly knowledge of the mortgage marketplaces, experts were warning him of the upcoming disturbances and admonishing him to steer clear, or to at the very least stop spending all of their coin on agency states parties and hookers. Did he listen? Please. He wouldn’t hear one word of complaint, citing his society education at Wharton Academy ( Go, Pushing Warts !) as proof that he, and only he, could exist any financial typhoon.

Within 18 months of opening its doorways, Trump Mortgage was forced to close, leaving a fortune of unpaid bills, rafters of people chiselled out of their homes, and zero chance that this lack would thrust some introspection on Trump’s part. In subsequent interviews, Trump laid the held accountable for the collapse at the paws of everyone but himself — his executives, financing of the climate, those damn homeowners having more foresight than him. He even extended thus far as to suggest that he was forced into this strategy, saying that the mortgage business wasn’t one that he “particularly liked or wanted to be part of in a very big way.” We’re sure the inclination was mutual.

4

FundAnything, aka “Beg, Peasants, Beg! ”

If you needed an indication of how Il Douche was going to behave as president, you wouldn’t “re going to have to” experience roam for a preview. Simply cast your attention back to 2013, when Trump launched FundAnything, his attempt at growing the dominant crowdfunding platform on the internet. The signals were all there. He promised to take back crowdfunding from the elites, reinvigorate the world employing his mad deal-making skills, and to donate a shitload of experience and coin earn acts better for everyone.

The Trump Organization Spoiler: He didn’t

FundAnything was a collaboration between Trump and Bill Zanker, who ghostwrote the seminal masterpiece Think Big And Kick Ass In Business And Life . FundAnything wasn’t a revolutionary idea, of course. Areas like Kickstarter and Indiegogo were already reigning the field. So how did they try to stand out? Well, as they gave it, “[ crowdfunding] get traction with artistics and tech, but you go anywhere but the coasts and they don’t get onto hitherto, ” which is either announcing the Midwest stupid or claiming that they don’t have the internet hitherto in Iowa. And how did FundAnything seek to wrest crowdfunding away from the rich coastal societies? By charging the highest costs of any crowdfunding website. Vive la opposition !

The other depict, of course, was Donald Julius Trump himself. When the site launched, Trump promised to regularly promote expeditions on his Twitter and to regularly donate, like a modern-day Medici. And he did! Trump donated $92,000 to many safaruss — of which an important cut went back to Trump himself. He tweeted about FundAnything a whopping 27 epoches in eight months — 21 of which were about safaruss by Penn Jillette and Adam Carolla, who were also conveniently appearing on Celebrity Apprentice . Were they members of the downtrodden underclass who can’t sign on for Indiegogo?

Penn Jillette We know that the Jill-Jet is really weird, but he’s probably went saner ideas.

The launch of FundAnything also dedicated Trump the chance to hold another of his famously modest propel episodes. He brought many beings in varying countries of financial suffering and caused them to beg for his cash with people saying, and this is verbatim, “Do you need money? What’s your problem? ” He then picked the “best” ten and withdrew to a nearby balcony as the assembled slews scooped money out of a tank while he watched/ yanked off.

Barely a year later, Trump shut down FundAnything, saying that it “took too much of my time and too much time to raise the money.” We merely hope some people who did get some saved their money. It’ll be useful when their healthcare disappears.

3

Tour de Trump, aka “Make American Cycling Great Again! ”

Maybe Trump’s right. Maybe America isn’t that great after all. We’re failing at everything, from the interesting thing like education and healthcare to big stuff like not making good Transformers movies anymore. And when was the last occasion America hosted a good cycling tournament? Man, aiming discrimination truly ruined everything.

In the 1980 s, nonetheless, one bald utopian had a plan to get America into cycling again. The Tour de Trump was going to be a ten-stage cycling tournament unfolding the whole way from Albany to Atlantic City. The winner would be given $75,000 — a fair cost for having to go to Atlantic City. When columnists questioned Trump about why he’d mentioned the rival after himself and not countries of the region, his response was “We could, if we wanted to have a little successful race.” That’s right, Donald Jompers Trump — the person who ponders exercise is a liberal story to embezzle his precious bodily fluids — thought he was the central glean for the fitness crowd.

Despite the horrific epithet, the hasten supported pretty popular in the cycling community. Between the convenient schedule( wedged between the Giro and the Tour de France) and the eye-catching mountain of currency up for grabs, many high-ranking cycling teams signed up to race on the roads of lesser New York. There was no way that even Trump could fuck this up … except for having a massive mountain of debt. Unable to both pay the prize money and convince the IRS he had any money left to give them, Trump descended the tour after only two years.

2

Trump Magazine , aka “Look At Me! ”

Once upon a experience, Trump Magazine was a glinting jewel in the crown of the magazine industry. The amazing, albeit-short lived highbrow slapstick ‘zine peculiarity contributions from famed jesters de rigeur , including Harvey Kurtzman, Mel Brooks, and Jack Davis. And although it is folded exclusively after one year, it is still widely regarded as a benchmark for form, element, and wit.

Of course, Donald Trump had nothing to do with Trump . If it had, it would’ve been a accumulation of shit, like all the rest of his schlubby, sickening publications.

The Trump Organization Although we know one person who found this sexy.

Between 1997 and 2009, Trump prepared four assaults at breaking into the world of reproduce: Trump Style , Trump World , Trump World II: Red, White, And Blonde , and Trump Magazine . Like a shitty in-flight periodical, Trump Style was shared around his condos and hotels from 1997 to 2002. Inside, there were innumerable photographs of Trump and his then-wife Marla Marples, horoscopes, word about his burgeoning casino empire, and plugs for the place you were already richly dumb enough for remain in. In other words, they were advertisements for neighbourhoods that already had Trump’s name on the building and his smug candle wax is now facing every lobby. Extremely stylish, indeed.

The content of Trump World ( which folded after two editions) and Trump Magazine wasn’t much different: one-third scintillating interrogations with Trump and the trio of haunted ventriloquist dolls he announces children, and two-thirds glossy advertisings for personal canoes, luxury pocket squares, and diamond-studded gaming consoles to pay for it.

In the end, this mighty producing empire was raised down by the same problem that destroys every business owned by a self-proclaimed billionaire: cash flow troubles. Trump World had lost$ 3 million and almost bankrupted the publisher. When it regenerated into Trump Magazine , it lost a further$ 7 million, a stupor to those people who’d discovered Trump literally weeks beforehand say that they were “taking it to the next rank, ” not knowing that he was talking about the bankruptcies.

1

Trump World Studios, aka “The Hollywood Of Florida! ”

Have you ever “ve noticed that” Donald Jennifer Trump has a really weird relationship with Hollywood? He spends half of his time riling up his basi up about their eliteness, then expends the other half jump-start up and down trying to get their attention. And there’s best available signal of his toadying than the decades he spent cameo-ing in every movie he maybe could, to the extent that imparting him a cameo was contractually obliged if you wanted to shoot in any of his properties.

So how do you become movie-famous while detesting the bowels of the movie industry? You oblige your own studio, with blackjack and Russian hookers. In 2012, Trump started plans to create Trump World Studios, Florida. TWS would have an 800 -acre lot, comprised of 15 backlots and studio opening totaling thousands and thousands of square feet, alongside a casing complex for employees and his beloved personalities, eateries, stores, and a public plaza. If it had been improved, Trump World Studios would have been the most significant film studio in the two countries, and Trump could’ve slipped into his new character as the Tangerine Walt Disney.

The Trump Organization

The Trump Organization And if he had actually paid his artists, you would be able to see those in the design plans.

When someone looked into the 800 acres that Trump wanted, they found that he’d earmarked cavities for everything from homeless assistance and public institutions to parks and environmental conservation zones, all the way to the military — who have a thing about beings transgressing on their grounds. The final fingernail in the coffin, nonetheless, was the finding that Trump, real estate genius that he is, had earmarked ground next to an breath modesty base — a move equivalent to Marvel Studios deciding to shoot Infinity War inside a air turbine. Before he could get the chance to ask if the planes could, like, be quiet when doing their liftoffs and arrivals, the whole concept was quietly declined like a red-hot turd — albeit a turd that logged billions of dollars in architectural fees.

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