#clown friend... what r u doing.......

[babisawyer]

I've been over halloween in general thanks to 'valloween' and 'summerween' and y'all being incapable of moving on from literally anything...but we're coming upon the time where I have to see tiktoks of white girls going to spirit halloween to buy their little boring twink boyfriends ghostface masks to proudly announce to everyone how kinky they are and I've had it.

[love-belle]

well, i'm still in love with you !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them soft launching each other while driving their friends wild.

or

for when you're still in love with them and will be for forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

prequel - saw ur mom at the grocery store ·˚ ༘

warnings - language. suggestive jokes (???)

author's note - im so SORRY for not updating life is CRAZY rn like ???? so much has happened like im in LOVE im DONE with SCHOOL i have EXAMS SJSHSJSJKSKS im so sorry i hope u like this i love u all <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 1,725,819 others

yourusername he's in my head so much i might as well just give him some

11,628 comments

username HOLD UP

username im shaking in my big girl boots rn what the Fuck

username y/n ?????

username SCREECHING

username roman empire or roman empire

username IM DYING OH MY GOD

landonorris just because you can type something doesn't mean you SHOULD

-> yourusername shut up u literally sprouted like an unwanted weed and not even the good kind

-> yourusername i am sorry that was mean

-> landonorris 😕

-> username someone keep these two away from each other before y/n makes lando cry 😭

username live love laugh y/n y/l/n

username i need cameras recording their whole vacation !!!!!!!!!

username this whole holiday will be so much more entertaining than 90% of all the tv shows out there 😭😭

username lord i pray that this is about charles

maxverstappen1 you didn't hear it from me but he's giggling

-> yourusername tell him to stop giggling and help me chase those seagulls away

-> landonorris LEAVE MY SEAGULLS ALONE

-> yourusername THEY ATE MY SANDWICH

username rip y/n's hater girl era u will be missed 😞☝️

username i know charles is thoroughly enjoying this like

username i will get over a lot of things in life but i will never get over lando and max joining the y/l/n-leclerc vacation simply because they do not trust charles to do the sensible thing

-> yourusername actually they're all dumb

-> maxverstappen1 excuse you

-> yourusername u called grey "dark white"

-> maxverstappen1 I PAID TO KEEP QUIET

-> yourusername blocking out the haters 🫸🙄🫷

username forever entertained by this group they never disappoint

username need me a max and lando to get me a bf or whatever 🙄🙄🙄

username waiting for charles to come here and say some stupid shit before going on with my day !!!!

charles_leclerc i bet u think about me

-> yourusername nah bc no way ferrari can make u THIS delusional what's the cause

-> yourusername i am sorry i was told that i cannot say shit about ferrari clown private limited whatever corporation

-> username please never change

charles_leclerc i will make u pasta !!!!!!!!

-> yourusername no thank u i saw what happened to arthur

-> charles_leclerc THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT THE PASTA WAS NOT GOOD

-> yourusername skill issue

charles_leclerc where r u

-> yourusername why r u typing like that

-> charles_leclerc lando said it's cool

-> yourusername lando thinks birds don't have feet don't believe him

-> landonorris why am i catching strays

username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT CHARLES LIED TO GET MAX AND LANDO ON VACATION 😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 2,167,926 others

charles_leclerc we'd still worship this love

12,628 comments

username NAH WHO IS THIS MAN

username OH ??????

username false god lyrics imma die 🤣🤣🤣

username y/n effect is so real

username PLEASE NOT CHARLES SOFT LAUNCHING HIS EX 😭😭😭

-> username y'all put some respect on my girl's name 😭

-> yourusername i am no one's ex i will sue u for defamation

-> charles_leclerc for legal reasons she's JOKING

-> yourusername how do U know that tf

-> username i missed this

username hshshdjssjdjsjjsajjn;;;;;;;;bwywuuaj;...

username crying this is everything i've prayed for

username no one's mentioning the fact that charles wasn't even supposed to go on the vacation 😭😭😭

-> landonorris he booked his tickets and acted like it was a mistake

-> charles_leclerc you're a mistake

-> username and THAT'S how i know y/n and charles are back together 🤞🤞🤞

username i need a documentary on this vacation u don't GET it

username max and lando we trust u

maxverstappen1 you just pushed your love in water

-> charles_leclerc she told me i looked like tweety from looney toons

-> maxverstappen1 well

username crying i love every second of this

username i need to study this man's brain under a microscope like

-> username his thought process is just so UNIQUE

username i need them to confirm their relationship so i can breathe a sigh of relief thank u

username need me a man who posts like this

yourusername told u taylor swift songs slap

-> charles_leclerc highkey

yourusername i'm the most hilarious person ever idk why ur mad

-> charles_leclerc you called me tweety

-> yourusername hilarious

-> charles_leclerc my lover's got humour

-> yourusername OMGGGGG

yourusername we might just get away with this

-> charles_leclerc i told you, if you commit murder i will NOT be an accomplice

-> yourusername those are lyrics but fuck u too i guess

username i prayed for times like this 🤞🤞

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

charles_leclerc added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 1,972,628 others

yourusername well i'm still in love with u 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 (❤️)

tagged charles_leclerc

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 2,126,891 others

charles_leclerc 2 out of 262819 photos where she stole my phone and the one (1) photo with me in it like okaaaaaaaaaay (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️)

tagged yourusername

12,728 comments

username NAHHH WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO TYPE LIKE THAT

username PLEASE OMG

username andddddddd we're 🔙 to having charles have a breakdown every single time y/n (HIS GIRLFRIEND) interacts with him

username god heard my prayers

username why do i have a feeling lando and max went EXTREME

-> yourusername if u call pushing us both off the yacht and not letting us back on until we said "hiiiiii" civilly to each other extreme, then yes. they were EXTREME.

-> charles_leclerc still mad about it. i said "hiiiii 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘" and you said "hi 😐😐😐😐."

-> yourusername sorry i was too busy finding ways to poison u then ❤️❤️❤️ im good and better now ❤️❤️❤️ (police and officials LOOK AWAY)

-> username netflix needs to leave dts and document THIS

username someone should write a book on this vacation and it should be max ☝️☝️☝️

username WAR IS OVERRRRR

username they're BACK god bless

username the way i KNOW charles is thanking max and lando on his knees like homeboy would be stuck without them fr

-> danielricciardo excuse you i was the mastermind

-> landonorris you literally did nothing except sit on ft for hours and yell at us.

-> danielricciardo tell that to all those thank you texts (money) charles sent me

-> landonorris YOU TOLD ME NO ONE WILL BE GETTING PAID charles_leclerc

-> charles_leclerc i sent him $1 because heidi asked me to

-> heidiberger_ he threatened to fly out to italy i did everyone a favour

username the y/n effect is coming back with full throttle like yeaaaaaaaaah

username i need a trilogy on this vacation like i need EVERYTHING

username the way i KNOW both of their families just rejoiced like they were going through it 😭😭😭

username everyday i wake up and thank the lord and heavens for daniel ricciardo, max verstappen and lando norris

yourusername i look so good wtfff

-> charles_leclerc yes you do 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

yourusername bébé ( baby )

-> charles_leclerc mon ange ( my angel )

yourusername soulmates 4 sure

-> charles_leclerc 👍

-> username lord i am not your strongest soldier

-> username why is he like this 😭😭😭

yourusername lowk missed taking 26271727 selfies on ur phone

-> charles_leclerc missed seeing your pretty face every time i opened my gallery 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username y/n never leave him again please

-> username my man's TRAUMATISED

[soobnny]

classmate au | nishimura riki

❝ did you guys see that? i was the one who taught her how to do that!❞

heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | jungwon | NI-KI

nishimura riki….

the absolute menace that this boy is

The Class Clown

being seatmates with him is probably the worst decision you have ever made

not bc of him and his jokes !!!!!

no he’s very funny actually

he makes you laugh all the time

he just ALWAYS whispers the wrong answer to you during oral recitation

and you ALWAYS fall for it

“what is the second stage of cell division?”

“meiosis,” he’d whisper so confidently

“m…meiosis?” you ask more to him bc u know he’s wrong but the teacher hears you anyway 😭😭😭

he is just SOOOOO !!!! unbearable

also btw he calls u by ur last name

the type to be close friends with all the teachers

he’d just casually reply to them in class (ofc in a respectful enough manner)

always makes the class laugh

he’s always doing some shit honestly like just don’t try to understand him atp

he likes to switch with the person seated behind you sometimes so he can sit beside a close friend but ALSO so he can play with your hair

ni-ki will just do ANYTHING .. put your hair in poor braids, put it in a ponytail ltrly anything

he has started his own hair salon behind you

tells you not to fix your hair for the rest of the day

so yes you end up sporting his poorly styled ponytail where some strands are sticking out

also the type to draw on your arm

in the case that he doesn’t switch with the person behind you, he’ll just start drawing on your arm

ANYTHING absolutely anything

hearts … maybe even a dick im sorry he is a Man and he will start giggling to himself when he draws it on your forearm

tbh u just let him do it

it’s bc he looks so cute … like he’s so focused on your arm while you’re focused on your teacher

during those class seminars, he is STILL seated next to you

but you guys don’t listen to the speaker most of the time

he’ll have the 8ball app loaded on his phone and you guys will just silently play billiards on his phone

changes ur contact name to “sucks at 8ball”

when it’s his turn to make a move, you try and pay attention to the speaker

but then he nudges your arm to signal that it’s your turn and he hands you his phone so you can make a move

BTW idk how to explain this but the seats r like those in the movie theaters

imagine …. your arms on the same arm rest … side by side …. touching

he is actually so slick with it

unlike jake, you’ll often find him at the volleyball court instead of the basketball court

you enjoy sitting at the sides too

ur friends like playing so sometimes they’d play against riki or on the same team as him and you’d just watch as u wait for ur sibling to get u from school

or until you can commute back home with your friends

sometimes you’d join too

BUT only after telling them you’re bad at the sport over and over and over again and them telling you it’s ok over and over and over again too

you finally join in and play volleyball with them with the reassurance that they’re just playing for fun !!!!!!

honestly it’s so much fun but Menace Riki loves to target the ball in ur direction

(it’s so you can play too since most of the time … the ball doesn’t go in ur direction so ure just awkwardly standing in ur position 🧍‍♀️)

the next day, this mf drags u out of class HIMSELF to the direction of the volleyball court and teaches you how to set

“okay, hands above ur forehead, okay? 😒” and u’re just trying to take his directions

he’d be soooooo annoying when you set a ball properly for the first time too

would ltrly turn to everyone in the court with his loud mouth and start praising you

“hey, did you guys see that?? i taught her how to do that !!! i’m her mentor”

ofc it becomes something about Him instead but it’s just cuz he can’t risk everyone knowing about his big fat crush on you

(sucks to be him bc everyone already knows like … have you seen the way he looks at you?)

he’s secretly so proud and plays volleyball with you to the side instead of playing an actual match

it’s to help you improve

bc he’s your self-proclaimed mentor 🥹

and when his friends drag him to play, he’ll insist you play too on the same team as him

you know how like .. one touch .. two touch .. volleyball is until three right?

ni-ki loves to set the ball or toss it to you so you can actually play too

your hype boy 😍😍😍😍

another funny story with this boy was when you and your friend were on your way to go home

and it started raining

ni-ki’s bff and ur bff r dating ok !!!

so naturally, his best friend leaves his side to shade his gf (ur bff) with an umbrella

now u’re left behind with riki

u do NOT expect him to grab his umbrella, open it up, and tell you to start walking with u

shields you so now you’re following behind ur dating bffs

honestly it’s actually kind of a cute memory

sharing an umbrella .. so romantic 🥰

ofc ur friends tease u !!! those who witnessed it happen and when u and ur friend r safely sheltered from the rain,, riki’s bff starts pushing him and teasing him for finally making a move

the direction ni-ki needs to go to isn’t even where he had walked u to but he still did it so you wouldn’t get sick

ANYWAYS he’s the teasing to get ur attention when he has a crush type so

good luck

expect him to always be up in your business and calling your name out

just embarrassing you in all possible ways

ALL GOOD INTENTIONS i swear

he’s just bad at expressing his feelings

u guys r just an old married couple bickering in class sometimes

your classmates start making bets on when you two will finally start dating

when he finally asks you out, his cocky teasing behavior is just thrown out the window

he stutters and scratches the back of his head and looks anywhere but to you

indirectly asks you out

“wanna eat um street foods after class?”

“who’s coming with,” you’d ask

“JUST ME… just me. just us…”

ltrly something as simple as that has him blushing all over 😭

he has no problem embarrassing u and drawing dicks on ur arms and calling ur name in the hallway and throwing an arm around ur shoulder

but the moment he asks u to eat out with him ?? even just for street food ?? bye he’s so shy and nervous

it’s SOOOO unlike him

“oh, sure!”

his eyes would light up please stop

then his cocky behavior would come back a little .. just enough to be tsundere as he is

“okay… don’t think i wanna hangout with you alone or anything. it’s just a treat for properly setting last time we played vb”

likeeee no one believes you ni-ki

the last time u played vb was like two weeks ago so why r u suddenly treating NOW

it’s actually so cute when u start dating

he has such a Soft Spot for u

LOVES annoying u but is secretly so doting like please

i hate happy couples !!!!!!!!!

i hope u guys r HAPPY <3

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[sincerelystesichorus]

let's talk about that one scene in oops

(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)

just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!

i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.

And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.

Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3

(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)

(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)

But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.

eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.

and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:

love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.

and finally!!

this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.

the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now

Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.

Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.

(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)

It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.

Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.

[schrodinger-swriter]

Helluva Hotel Masterlist

Here you will find my writings for Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. I more so go off of what we are shown within the episodes, as I do not follow Vivzie and the crew on social media. Any headcanons that may go against what has been said outside of that is purely do to this fact. I stress that you be patient.

The characters listed below do not determine what characters I will and wont write for. I will not be writing for Valentino, though. For reasons I feel I do not need to explain.

CHARLIE:

F J O C for Charlie

B L T Z for Charlie

D G K U V for Charlie

Prompts 1 and 3 with Charlie

Prompts 2 8 and 11 with Charlie

VAGGIE:

B C J L T Z for Vaggie

ALASTOR:

Alastor x Deaf!Reader

Alastor x Short!Hotheaded!Reader

Alastor and the Reader pining for one another

H I P W for Alastor

S for Alastor

Alastor x Short!Plushie!Reader

A B C E G J K for Alastor

L Q R for Alastor

D N Y Z for Alastor

Prompts 3 and 4 with Alastor

Alastor and the Reader battling together

T X for Alastor

Prompts 8 11 12 with Alastor

Platonic Alastor x Reader who loves old music

Alastor x Cat Demon!Reader

SIR PENTIOUS:

Sir Pentious x Warm bodied!Reader

Sir Pentious and the Reader pining for one another

A D J Z for Sir Pentious

I K O P Q U for Sir Pentious

C H S X Y for Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious x Winged!Reader

Reader becoming jealous of Cherri Bomb

Sir Pentious x Bat!Reader

Sir Pentious x Intelligent!Inventor!Reader

Romantic Sir Pentious headcanons

Sir Pentious x Reader w/ a goat skull for a head

Prompts 3, 4, 11 with Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious with a partner who is maternal to the egg boiz

Sir Pentious and the Egg Boiz with a Sick!Motherly!Reader

Marriage with Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious x Reader who is on their period

Sir Pentious saving the Reader

Sir Pentious x Reader who has self image issues

Sir Pentious x Girly!Reader

HUSK:

A C I J K N P Z for Husk

E H L R X for Husk

Platonic Father!Husker x Teen!Reader

ANGEL DUST:

A D F K L P Q T X for Angel Dust

C I Z for Angel Dust

Angel Dust x Asexual!Reader

Platonic Angel Dust x Reader who ghost writes erotica

NIFFTY:

B Y N for Niffty

C G I P for Niffty

LUCIFER:

A B E H for Lucifer

J K L Z for Lucifer

D I O X Y for Lucifer

R T for Lucifer

P U for Lucifer

Lucifer x Sinner!Reader

C for Lucifer

Lucifer x Fallen Angel!Reader

Lucifer x Reader who did something terrible for a good cause

Lucifer x Writer!Reader

Prompt 13 with Lucifer

Prompt 12 with Lucifer

Prompts 8 10 and 11 with Lucifer

Prompt 3 with Lucifer

Prompt 1 with Lucifer

Lucifer x Artist!Reader

Lucifer x Baker!Reader

Flying with Lucifer

Lucifer x Gardener!Reader

VOX:

C E I J M F for Vox

B D K for Vox

Vox x Cat Demon!Reader who bites him

Vox x Reader who gives him things

Prompts 8 9 10 with Vox

Prompts 5 and 12 with Vox

LUTE:

C K Z J for Lute

A B G H U for Lute

D E L V W for Lute

Prompts 1 3 12 with Lute

Prompt 10 with Lute

Prompt 5 with Lute

Prompts 8 and 13 with Lute

Prompts 7 and 15 with Lute

M R for Lute

ADAM:

B C K L P for Adam

Q U R X Z for Adam

CARMILLA:

Carmilla x Injured!Reader

Prompt 13 with Carmilla

A B C F J for Carmilla

ROSIE:

T V for Rosie

Prompts 2 and 13 with Rosie

C K Z for Rosie

J I for Rosie

Prompts 3 and 9 with Rosie

Rosie x Non Cannibal!Reader

FIZZ:

Platonic Fizz x Clown!Reader

STRIKER:

Striker x Reader who got cheated on by Blitz

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS:

Asmodeus and Fizz being friends with the reader

The main cast of Hazbin on Valentine's day

FLUFF ALPHABET

TROPES LIST

[kenlvry]

main four reacting to you coming home drunk and calling them pretty

reader calling the main 4 pretty while drunk

an, OKAY BOSS 🫡🫡

kenny

it is almost 2 am and you are still not home, he is so ready to put on his mysterion costume on and search the whole town for you. hearing a car pull up he jerks from the couch and look at the window, it was you barefoot holding your heels waving goodbye to your friends. he waits infront of the front door excited to greet you, the keys rattling to unlock the door followed with "shit whcih one is it" kenny sighs and open the door. "KENNYYYY" you hug him and kenny can tell that you have been partying hard, you reek of alcohol. "im not one to get mad at you for drinking but you need to control your parting habit, youre always dizzy in the morning and regret it" he lectures closing the door you still hugging him "boo buzzkil" he gives you the 😐 r u fr look and you laugh. "hmmm have i ever tell you how pretty you are, so pretty" you cup his face and observe it he blushes harddddddd. you have only called him handsome or sexy or hot so far never have anyone called him pretty, "oh yeah? im very pretty huh?" he smirks taking this chance to do smthn with you iykyk "i might be drunk but im still sober enough to know what you wanna do" with that you let go and walk to your bedroom with a smiling teasing kenny in suit. " 'm so pretty right?" the morning was hell and he wouldn't shut up about it "ugh kenny that's the third time this morning fuck yourself" you groan as you walk away from kenny with the hangover medicine with you "thats not how you talk to your pretty boyfriend" he laughs.

stan

you had texted him earlier that night saying your gonna be late "im goung tobe kate" "what" "latw" "okay". he sleeps before you come home knowing you didn't want him waiting on you and that your friends was there to take care of you. he was about to sleep but the door knob twisting and the keys desperately being pushed into the keyhole was too loud to not hear from the bedroom. he groans and gets out of bed heading towards the door. "hello stan 😊😊😊 thankyou 🥰🥰" you walk past him and wow tyou smell like alcohol, even he wasn't this bad. following you to the bedroom you lay down throwing your shoes and bag on the floor "geez y/n atleast take a shower first" he puts his hands on his waist. you lay on your side and tap the empty spot beside you signalling him to join you, despite the smell he lays down and looks at you. you stroke his hair staring at him "you're so pretty stan, maybe even prettier than me" his eyes widen at that like me??? pretty??? really??. he quickly realises you are very drunk and you probably don't mean it "okay y/n, get some sleep" he lightly push you by the shoulders to lay you down properly "no nooo im being honest, your face is so pretty, your hair black hair and your eyes fuck i could get lost in your eyes, especially your lip-" you sleep before you could say anything more and he just layed there with a blushed face. he gets up and walk over your vanity grabbing makeup remover and a cotton pad, sitting beside you removing your makeup. he stops to think what you said earlier and is so embarrassed, bro is kicking his feet squealing and covering his face rolling around. it gave him sm confident and remembers that compliment to this day.

kyle

it was around 12 pm that night, kyle was jus chilling watching movies in the living room and eating popcorn. you told him you'd be home a little late and to not wait for you, so he took this chance to enjoy some time for himself. suddenly the door knob shake violently and bangs from the door can be heard, he was so scared who the hell was it he thought, burglar? murderer? thief?. he slowly approach the door looking through to the keyhole expecting a fucking clown or smthn with a knife but it was you. he sighs and opened the door "you had me scared to death! and i thought you were coming home at 2??" your stance was pretty obvious you had gotten too drunk "my friends said i drank too much and i need to go home 😊" , well it isn't the first time, "cmon wanna watch a movie tgt?" "kyle i smell like im stans dad i need to take a shower" "but i miss you ☹️" "then shower with me pretty boy" he makes a slightly disgusted face while laughing lightly but stop when he remembered your words "pretty?" "mhm!" you nod your head repeatly and make you way upstairs, his cheeks were a tint of pink smiling at the compliment, you stop midway and look back at him. he wasn't wearing his hat and he rarely takes them off that was what made him so pretty, his pretty curls. you walk back to him getting reallllyyyyy close staring at him, his cheeks turning a a darker shade of pink avoiding eyecontact "uhh" "you look so pretty, should take your hat off more often" you kiss his cheek and continue your way upstairs. he just stares at the stairs holding his cheek "pretty?" he mumbled and walk his way to the couch sitting on the couch "pretty .." he loves it sm when you call him pretty and you know it so you call him pretty more often.

cartman

2 am. you aren't home yet and cartman is worried for his life, i mean he is pacing around the living room wondering why you aren't home. then he heard the door open and immediately jump on the couch turning on the tv, "oh hey, ur late not, that i was waiting for you" he says glancing at you, by how you were wobbling around it was kinda obvious you were drunk. you look at him smiling and walking over to him with wide arms "CARTMANNN HELLOOOO" you hug him and he loves it smsmsmsmsm but ofc he hides it "ew what do you want" you hop on the couch right beside him laying your head on him, he doesn't push you off despite the disgusted face you made. "mm your so mean ☹️" you make pouty lips at him, you cup his face pulling it close to you "your are so pretty you know that? i love you so much" then you hug him so tight he swears he can't breath. boy just sat there with a 😯 face on. since you were drunk you weren't gonna remember this so he decides to play along "i think yr prettier though" "NO. YOU ARE 🤨" you argued "its definitely you" "YOU CLEAFLY ARE PRETTIER IN OUR RELATIONSHIP 😒😒" "WELL I SAY OTHERWISE" you two literally argue like kids on who is prettier. you both agree that you both are equally pretty. the next morning you remember vividly what happened "sooo im pretty huh?" "i never said that" "you said that last night" "no stop being delusional thats gay".

[blvckentropy]

WARNING LONG RANT!

Okay so I've been sitting on Drake so called "diss track" and I still declare it as the biggest CONTRADICTING ASS track ever. Like I get die hard Drake fans gone be like he won regardless but he hasn't because he made several deep holes in his argument. Granted you probably don't give a damn and that's fine. Overall, neither do I but some of you got so blinded and hyped by his one-liners and his flow that you ain't peep what he really said did you? Ngl, had me sitting here like a was crazy for a minute. Now correct me if I'm wrong cause I also had to fact check myself, but these are the lines that got me like now wait wait....

You said, "The ones that you're gettin' your stories from, they all clowns" just to say "We plotted for a week and then we fed you the information".... which one is it? Are you calling yourself a clown or the ppl you sent the info. to? I'm perplexed.

"What about the bones we dug up in that excavation? And why isn't Whitney denyin' all of the allegations? Why is she following Dave Free and not Mr. Morale? You haven't seen the kids in six months, the distance is wild Dave leaving heart emojis underneath pics of the child"

First and for most, what is your obsession with this woman? Also are we in high school? Why we worried about someone follow count and/or who following who? She a grown ass woman like she can't have male friends. Plus, if irl she with Kendrick every day, why does she need to? And if Kendrick aint worried about, why are you? You caught up in finding out if that's her real bd but where are your evidence? If Kendrick has to, you do too. Childish.

BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GOT DISRESPECTFUL!

"This Epstein angle was the shit I expected TikTok videos you collected and dissected Instead of being on some diss-direct shit You rather fucking grab your pen and misdirect shit My mom came over today and I was like, "Mother, I—, mother, I—, mother—" Ah, wait a second, that's that one record where you say you got molested"

"This about to get so depressin' This is trauma from your own confessions This when your father leave you home alone with no protection, so neglected That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive"

"Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey play, you probably start reflectin"

This whole verse was a misinterpretation of Kendrick's song "Mother I Sober" which I had to educate myself with. Long story short, the song is about his mom SA and how she thought he was by his cousin even when he told her "no" and it forms a bigger picture to his overall family trauma as a whole and so on. So not only did you Mr. " You gotta learn to fact check things and be less impatient" if that ain't the biggest pot calling the kettle black idk what is. You got it wrong (Kendrick pretty much explained it) then double down on borderline prob over the line atp disrespecting his mother and all and every victim of SA? We victim shaming now?

I never been with no one underage, but now I understand why this the angle that you really mess with Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

*Slow claps* Congratulations you played yourself. What in the fuckery? CURRENTLY....DIDDY DOODLE BOB HAS ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW AND HE'S MORE FAMOUS THAN U. And don't get me started on the list....umm...you literally just named one (If you still bumping R. Kelly, you could thank the Savior)

"Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager" but you'll look once? Also, someone que up the video with him on stage w/ a 17-year-old. He and I quote "Why you look like that?" "You thick. look at all this" Then kiss her all over her face🤔 Sir a kiss on the cheek or forehead would suffice but I digress.

And correct me if I'm wrong, I believe the only reason Kendrick hasn't even the touch the "beating allegations" is because he covers all that in both Mr. Morale and Mother I sober? If I'm correct, then you basically didn't tell us nothing that hasn't been said on him. Plus you also not fact checking. Where's of your proof? I would think someone with the upper hand would have laid down evidence that you mastermind...oh wait...was Kendrick right along? Now you look like the goofy on defense. Like do Kendrick even have to say anything?

Bruh, but the funniest part on it all. You acting like YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. YOU DROP A DISS first wanting him to response and now you trying to make it seem like you didn't? My guy, if your actions alone here isn't a manipulation master class. Chileeeeee

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Saiouma Ship Dynamics

springbug: literally Them [saiouma]

Ves: kokichi's grubby little baby hands are very small to be warming up shuuichi's but the sheer force of his blush can make up for it, actually space heater boy

Me: I do think Kokichi is a space heater wholeheartedly. and that his fingers are nimble and flexible, he has a lot more tricks than just lockpicking. so they're not that small and stubby to me. but yes, they're soft and warm, while Shuichi is a bony guy

Springbug:

Me: technically, it could go both ways, but I feel like it's skewed towards Shuichi being A and Kokichi being B, Kokichi is very touchy, he would PDA constantly if it was okay with Shu, and if he has his clown family he's not nearly as touch starved as Shuichi who probably didn't have friends before being forcibly adopted by the extroverts of their cast Ves: i was thinking the reverse but u make a good case for ur vision… Me: the models for A & B make it look like the reverse to a point where I feel deja vu and wonder if I didn't see a fanart with those expressions but for the dynamic I do believe that Shu is more touch starved, and touch is the easiest love language for Kokichi to show he's probably been sleeping in a pile with his clowns, he has to re-learn what personal space is when with other people, Shuichi could never Ves: shuuichi got a hug from his uncle and thought about it for multiple months however once the floodgates r broken all previous messages still apply. he WILL be resting his entire weight on top of kokichi's fragile twink bones Me: yeah once they're at the stage of a relationship when they sleepover often & comfortably (or live together) Shuichi's snugglebug gene gets activated, the cuddle monster awakens all of a sudden and he's here to stay (as long as it's in the privacy of their chambers)

[tinyapplejuice]

PLEASE DO MORE LARRY HEADCANONS I BEG U PLEASSEEE

Hey there!!! I don’t really have any Larry x reader headcanons but since I love them so much, I literally created just regular Larry and Lawrie headcanons for you! Enjoy!!

•Larry and Lawrie are not afraid of anything. No clowns, no spiders, no snakes, not even death itself. Well they are both afraid of one thing… Larry’s only greatest fear is losing Starr Park, that’s basically his only purpose and if he lose it, it feels like everything is lost even his own life. So eventually his little optimistic charm will die down and may or may not die with it. Lawrie’s greatest fear is losing his brother, he’s basically the only person that understands and tolerates him, losing Larry will mean losing the only thing he cares about.

•Larry’s mood can fully switch like in a snap. For one moment he’s happy then the next moment he’s angry, it’s honestly impressive on how fast it can change. Sometime it even scares people because they always saw him as this harmless, good cop.

•I like to think Larry is super confident and competitive. I could never see him as a shy and humble guy UNLESS in certain situations where he gets super flustered or the humbling part when he needs to be. He’s always flashy with a huge grin on his face and he’s never afraid to say things out loud. He’s quite bold even!

•If he was shy, he would have been acting like such a cheeky geek with a little awkward smile on his face and a nervous demeanor.

•Lawrie’s the “shyer” one or simply the introverted one. He’s not someone who truly cares about making relationships especially with humans. He finds them rather stupid and let me tell you he may or may not have a dislike towards them. I mean he already has Larry and R-T, what else does he need? He’s also very inhospitable and very awkward, making many people usually steer away from him.

•It will be super silly and interesting if their personalities developed by whatever job they were tasked with like for example Larry must have a friendly face in front of the customer as he is a ticket holder or giver or whatever. But at the same he also has this stern cop persona for the crime bringers. While Lawrie who was dealt with enforcing the law and facing crime bringers had developed this mean and stern persona. If only it was like that but I’m pretty sure they were coded like that way before they even had a chance what personality they were like because for me Larry name sounds a lot more nicer than Lawrie and plus the fact that there’s law in his name makes it feel like they were prepared for creating them or something.

•Larry loves to do all the boring work even if it’s long, long, LONG pages of paperwork as long as it’s for Starr Park. He would just say along these lines,“It’s for the greater good!” Or, “It’s super important and Starr Park needs this!” Lawrie however doesn’t, he’s the one that prefers actions, fighting, all the cool stuff!

•I feel like Larry’s the type of guy to easily make friends if it weren’t for the fact 1. If he wasn’t so obsessed with the theme park and its rules 2. If he just leaves Lawrie since basically Lawrie is so intimidating and unsociable 3. IF HE WASN’T SHOVING THE RULES UP TO EVERYONE’S FACE AND BEING A PARTY POOPER!!!

•Lawrie has barely or no chance of making new friends. He is just that bad.

•They will unironically spoil things to people like if you were planning to surprise someone, they would just bluntly say it in front of the person acting like it wasn’t supposed to be a secret. And then they genuinely wonder why you’re mad. Sillies.

•Larry is a curious robot, I like to think since he works on giving tickets to customers and maintaining order in the park. He has seen how humans interact and how their fleshy body have this complex emotions that are full of different and unique feelings that he, himself as a robot, doesn’t normally have. So he would often watch humans and see how they interact. He think’s it’s widely amusing and interesting.

•He definitely treats the rule book as a baby, always tucks it in under the blankets, gives it a little smooch every night, and gingerly cares for it. Lawrie probably complained that he could have married it.

•Larry’s the type of guy to have expressive body language and has a billion pose and facial expressions while Lawrie only has two poses and a face.

•Lawrie barely smiles, he always frown. It’s funny but at the same time, so sad??? The only exception is with his brother Larry or something exciting happens. He also has very default poses like imagine, hehehe.

•No matter how hard you try, Larry will NEVER EVER break the rules. Even if it’s for his safety, he will not budge. If you did make him, he would have been so angry with you and he would have been so disappointed and upset at himself. Probably wouldn’t even talk you for days because of it. He takes it very seriously. Lawrie however would do it but only if it’s mandatory and for his safety.

•If Larry has the chance, he would talk A LOT. I could see him saying so many things to Lawrie when they have some sort of break (if they’re allowed to) or if they have some sort of free time.

•Larry and Lawrie are complex machines but that’s all who they really are. They’re nothing but just robots for the law. It’s funny if they get introduced to something that’s normalized by humans but for them, it isn’t. So like imagine them having no values and just being brutally murdering a guy, it will be super sick and interesting. But I do think they have restrictions if they’re in public daylight.

•Larry loves his brother, they’re basically best friends but they will fight like cave men. Always physical, barely or never words. Usually Larry starts with the first punch and Lawrie hits back harder.

•IF PEOPLE SAY LARRY IS WEAK I WILL CRY!!! He is not weak, he is a robot, a cop, does that not ring any bells to you??!!! HE WILL NOT BE DEFENSELESS!!! I could only imagine him calling Lawrie only for backup whenever he’s in serious trouble but other than that, this dude is practically fine on his own.

•Whenever Larry and Lawrie fight, Lawrie would not apologize first. I’m sorry I had to say it. He only does it if it’s like truly his fault and if it’s no one “he can blame on.” I don’t know, I like to think it never comes to Lawrie but he does feel guilty during moments where he and Larry isolate from each other and cool down. He’s the older brother and it feels like he has some sort of responsibility with Larry and he felt like he failed that.

•They will be both boring robots to hang around, do not lie to me. They will barely have any interests. Larry will possibly talk about rules, Starr Park, and Lawrie while Lawrie would probably just stare. The things he likes are just action and Larry. And they will have so many miscommunication because they suck at socializing this in turn makes them way closer and way more bonded.

•If something they enjoyed beforehand goes against the law of a sudden, they will stop. They ARE THE LITERAL FUN POLICE!!! RAHHHHH!!

•If they did have some sort of humor, it would be old outdated humor. Hehe.

•Larry’s laugh would honestly be mischievous and would go “Nyehehehe” while Lawrie’s would be personally for me” Har, har, har” and it would be this deep and kinda sarcastic sounding.

•So my sister said a headcanon that was GENIUS and it has been rotting in my brain for weeks. This is basically what she said word for word, ”Do you think Larry and lawrie have a mechanic where they can end themselves, like, people in the war would do it so they won’t give out information.“ AND I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH LIKE WOWZA??!!

•They will honestly be the best and worst babysitters. The best because the parents like them since they keep the children orderly while the worst because they stop doing anything fun for the children and they hate them for it. Well it depends who it all comes from! Also it’s theoretical because they will not babysit children.

•Larry and Lawrie will not go outside of the park, sure Larry may once on a while be curious but they do somewhat know it’s their responsibility to not leave so they are kinda content with it.

•Larry and Lawrie do not sleep. Personally I don’t see them. If they were, I would just imagine them being in these pods where they charge themselves more than anything but truly I feel like they would have been awake 24/7 and work both day and night shifts to patrol the park for anything suspicious or dangerous.

•You know how there’s these mascots for dealing with drugs and smoking that warn kids not to do them, I could just imagine Larry and Lawrie being one for Starr Park and once in a while Larry would warn kids. Do you think that they will like personally hunt down anyone who smokes at the park??

•Larry and Lawrie would not swear, Lawrie may seem like the type of person but it’s not good for the image of the park if the cops just start to swear out of no where even if it’s private, they would have this code to not do it.

Anyways umm I’m doing requests guys!! I promise!!! I’m just so lazy and I litteraly have a huge brain fart hahaha!

[judeswhore]

Jude would play dress up with his daughter (we all know he’s a girl dad) 100%

Just coming home to find Jude with a crown, poorly painted nails, and having “tea time” with your daughter who has the biggest smile on her face.

You’re just laughing all “Jude what’re you doing?” And he’s staring at you with a playful frown “we’re having tea. What does it look like?🙄” and your daughter chimes in, “yeah, and daddy said I could play dress up with him too! I need clothes that fit him though…”

You’re laughing even harder because Jude just has a shocked look and staring at your daughter “are you calling me fat??😟” but you’re hushing him, and grabbing your daughter “yes, Now let’s go find clothes to put on daddy!” And he’s pissed because you and your daughter just ran upstairs to find clothes for ‘dress up’, he heard that you called him fat (he knows you’re joking tho😭),he knows you’re gonna clown him for this, force him to dress up, take photos, probably make him wear a dress or something, and send this to jobe and his mom (Jobe would never let him live this down. EVER.) , but he wouldn’t care. As long as you’re both happy, he’s willing to do anything for his.

jude and his daughter having a little daddy daughter day while ur at work or spending the day w ur friends/family and the whole day ur daughter has ran his absolutely ragged. they’ve been out for lunch together and then they played dolls, she made him learn a dance her and her friends made up and now they’re having a tea party after she’s made him look all pretty. she’s gotten into ur make up and has covered his face in blusher and terrible eyeshadow, his lips a stupidly bright red but she just keeps telling him how pretty he looks.

so ur coming home and u find them tucked away in her bedroom, ur daughter in a princess dress and jude still in his normal clothes but covered in make up, so badly done u cant help but laugh. u can hear ur daughter telling him his clothes r dirty and he can’t have tea in them bc he’ll upset all her dolls so when ur coming in the room she’s all “mummy u have to help me find a dress for daddy” and jude’s all??? bc he does not wna dress up and he’s hoping ur gna get him out of it. but ur evil so ofc ur not. ur just picking ur daughter up with a nod and being all “i’m sure we can find something that’ll fit him”. finding one of ur old dresses and making him squeeze into it and he looks absolutely ridiculous but ur daughter is so happy that he can’t even be mad abt it :(( he’s going back to the little tea party and ur taking all these pictures and he’s sending u a glare bc “u better not be sending them to jobe” but obviously you’ve sent them straight to the gc u have w his family and he knows he’s never gna live it down but at the same time if it makes his little girl happy he doesn’t mind

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

forcing myself to pick a top ten (no particular order) for my favorite artists

why? because!

cavetown

this is home

boys will be bugs

smoke signals

devil town

it's u

poison

pyjama pants

empty bed

guilty

a kind thing to do

conan gray

best friend

summer child

footnote

the exit

comfort crowd

affluenza

jigsaw

heather

fight or flight

winner

chloe moriondo

take your time

killbot!

cdbaby<3

hotel for clowns

hearteyes

plastic purse

hell hounds

silly girl

girl on tv

i want to be with you

melanie martinez

milk of the siren

nymphology

evil

teacher's pet

numbers

field trip

cry baby

leeches

pacify her

mad hatter

boywithuke

so cold

kind of sick of life

falling for you

zoning out

heart of ice

out of tune

migraine

problematic

lucid (interlude)

bad things

penelope scott

cigarette ahegao

lotta true crime

moonsickness

rät

sweet hibiscus tea

mommy fwiend

you should know

soap

warm regards

born2run

mitski

geyser

old friend

pink in the night

washing machine heart

your best american girl

first love/late spring

francis forever

strawberry blond

liquid smooth

bag of bones

tv girl

better in the dark

pretty boy

blue hair

taking what's not yours

song about me

not allowed

loving machine

heaven is a bedroom

louise

lovers rock

the neighborhood

the shining

softcore

you get me so high

reflections

daddy issues

greetings from califournia

ferrari

sweather weather

flawless

honest

frankie cosmos

i'm it

being alive

fool

embody

on the lips

is it possible / sleep song

outside with the cuties

sappho

my i love you

rings on a tree

girl in red

serotonin

did you come?

body and mind

hornylovesickmess

apartment 402

watch you sleep.

dead girl in the pool.

we fell in love in october

forget her

say anything

arctic monkeys

r u mine?

arabella

why'd you only call me when you're high?

i wanna be yours

one for the road

secret door

d is for dangerous

fluorescent adolescent

the bad thing

505

[watchoutforthefanfics]

a carving on some wood || Reddie (It)

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: a request by @aubriereddie

Summary: "can u do one where eddie catches richie carving r+e into the kissing bridge"

TWs: internalized homophobia (like seriously Richie hates himself), self hatred, explicit language (it's reddie), angst, vague ending, and some injuries (Richie accidentally cuts himself).

[[A/N: As someone from a smalltown who is distinctly not straight, this one hit so... Thanks for the request. Enjoy :)))]]

Richie Tozier had been hyping himself up for this for three days. Okay, maybe a week. Maybe two weeks-

A few months, okay? He's not fucking proud.

He wouldn't have been doing it in the first place, honestly, if they hadn't fucking fought a demon clown. If Eddie hadn't broken his arm, and their lives (as fucking kids) were on the line. What the fuck by the way. He was faced with death at 12 years old, he almost died at 12 years old-

(He was rivaling on 13 now, actually, his birthday was sooner, rather than later.)

And maybe that's why he was doing this.

Why he'd told his parents he was going to a friend's house (they never asked who, Richie wasn't sure they cared), and decidedly was not. Making a turn off the residential street, and riding his bike somewhere he'd only been a few times. He'd mostly stared at the carvings, and hesitated when he was, maybe building up to now.

Richie could admit, to himself at least, that he'd been ready to do this since he could recognize what he felt. Since he'd read through comics and started understanding the couples, and maybe getting a little invested. And maybe starting to realize just what he was feeling, what he had always kinda felt (if you could feel those things when you were so young, Richie wasn't sure you could). But now Richie was in middle school, and people were dating and kissing and in couples that actually meant something (or so he believed)-

And Richie was faced with the fucking reality of what he was. What he felt.

Maybe that added to it, but he knew since that summer (and almost fucking dying), that he was going to end up here. Because Richie could die with this and it would be lost with him. And, for some reason, he didn't want that. At all.

He wanted there to be evidence. Because one day, he wouldn't be there to just do it. Feel it.

So, here he was, parking his bike with a knife in his pocket and an idea in his head.

He was doing it in the hours that the high school was still in class, maybe primarily so no one could see him. And he'd told every other person in the Loser's Club that he was grounded for today, and couldn't do shit.

Even still, he walked backwards to the bridge. Eyes flicking around the area (maybe for a clown too), because he was sure if anyone fucking found him that he was dead. And despite how much he fucking hated himself (for feeling this way, being different), he really didn't want to die.

After tripping over rocks and falling on his ass multiple times (he was pretty sure it was going to bruise actually), his back bumped into something solid. Wooden, maybe. Richie wasn't sure how he could exactly tell.

He spun around and found himself on the bridge. After shooting a quick look around (on both sides), Richie found himself completely alone. So, he let himself crouch down and eye some of the carvings. He could, if he was honest, recognize some of the names. Some of them older kids he knew vaguely, and others he knew more personally. Well, he guesses he can't really assume that these carvings were them, but-

Fucking focus, Richie told himself.

The longer he was out here, the more dangerous it would be. So, he needed to just fucking get it done.

His eyes flicked behind his glasses, brushing over the wood. They immediately latched onto a bigger spot at the top, wide open. He was kinda surprised it hadn't been filled actually. This shit was practically ancient, why was it open?

Richie shook off the thought, making one more glance around (he was still very alone). The whistle of the wind through the tree leaves was either creepy or calming, he couldn't fucking tell. And then, he got down on his knees. (He figured he'd need to be a little sturdy operating a fucking knife of all things.)

It kind of hurt actually, with the old fucking chipped wood pushed into his skin. He'd gotten much worse though, so he ignored it.

Taking a deep breath in, he pulled out the knife and raised his hand.

Now normally, there would be a lot of questions. How big should it be? What exactly did he want to carve (Eddie, Spaghetti, Eds, E.K)? But, like he said before, Richie Tozier had been thinking about this for a long time.

His feelings felt big (for lack of a better word, Richie wasn't fucking good with words), so it was gonna be big. He wanted to be vague (to avoid any suspicion), and he, selfishly, wanted to be a part of it. Maybe because that might be the only way he ever gets to be together with Eddie, like that anyway. That being said, he wasn't going to carve it deep. He wanted it to be there, but he didn't want you to see it at first glance. It was a secret that Richie was sure he'd die with, it needed to still be kinda hidden. Even though he wanted it to outlive him.

It should be noted that Richie had been practicing. He'd taken big sticks and "carved them into a wizard's scepter"; not a single Loser batted an eye. He wanted it to be pretty clean, straight lines and shit (how Eddie would want it if he was honest with himself). So, he practiced.

Pressing into the wood felt natural, as he just started carving -he was always the kind to just do. The straight lines were easy, the curve of the R, though, was definitely the hardest (it took so much of his attention). Not to mention he was trying so hard to be perfect, trying to make it something that would fucking last.

Maybe that was why he didn't hear the other bike or the footsteps creaking along the wood all the way to just behind him.

It was right as he was finishing the last line that it happened.

"Whose E?"

Richie startled so fucking hard (shooting up to his feet) that he dropped the knife (which somehow had fucking cut his hand on the way down). He knew that fucking voice like the back of his hand. He felt a little like his heart might burst, or maybe he'd throw up right then and there.

He hadn't even noticed he was bleeding, not until-

"Fuck, you're bleeding," Eddie fucking Kaspbrak rushed over to him with his stupid fucking fanny pack, "-You're such a fucking idiot, you know that? You're too clumsy to use a fucking knife-"

Richie couldn't say anything. Not as Eddie pulled out antibacterial from his fanny pack, not as he sprayed it (which fucking burned), not as he cleaned up the blood with a cotton ball, and not even as he chewed him out the whole fucking time. All he could do was stare, and hope to whatever god was above that Eddie would forget what he saw.

"-When even was the last time you cleaned it?"

Eddie was looking at him now, expecting an answer. And Richie just swept his eyes across Eddie. His hair was getting longer now, and his freckles from the summer sun were fading (Richie still had them memorized through). He looked a little older than that summer, even though he'd just recently turned twelve (Eddie was quite a few months younger than him).

All Richie could do was shrug.

Eddie's big-ass brown eyes watched him for a moment, analyzing, before he said, "You're so fucking stupid."

And then, he moved back to the wound.

If Richie's heart wasn't busting out of his chest because of what he was just caught doing, it would've been racing anyway. Eddie was basically holding his hand at this point, all soft fingertips, and leftover tan skin from the summer (it was fading). He felt like he might fucking explode from a few things, honestly.

Richie physically couldn't say shit (anxiety clawing up his throat), but luckily, Eddie was filling the silence chewing him out. It didn't look suspicious... yet. He was trying to ready himself to speak, even though he had no clue what to fucking say.

Why him? Out of all the people to catch me, why him? That's so-

"There," Eddie carefully put a bandaid over it (it really wasn't that big of a deal, like at all), "-If you get an infection and die, that's not my fucking fault."

Richie swallowed, blinking once. His skin was itching so bad that he felt like clawing it off. He can't know, I can't lose him-

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Eddie asked, frustrated (but he could tell he was actually concerned), "-Are you scared of blood or some shit? Because I fucking cleaned it up-"

"Like what?" Richie said -blankly.

"Like..." Eddie pursed his lips, motioning his hands quickly (like he always did), "-that, dickweed."

"Hate to break it to ya," Richie tried to joke, but it wasn't all there (please don't notice it), "-but that's not making anything fucking clearer, Eds."

"That's not my name, asshole," he chimed, instinctively, "-and well, I can't fucking describe it if I don't know what it is, can I, dipshit?"

Richie deflected, "How did you find me?"

Eddie paused for a second, eyes flicking along his face (like he was looking for something, Richie had no idea what), "Ma actually let me go out today, she thinks I'm at the fucking library but how the fuck would she know anyway? I went to your fucking house, to see if I could hang out there, and then your Mom told me you weren't home, which means you fucking lied by the way-"

Richie processed the fact that Eddie had wanted to hang out with him on his free day for a second.

"-for whatever fucking stupid reason you decided. She said you were at a friend's, so I guessed it was Stan's because it's always Stan's-"

Richie was barely following at this point, just watching Eddie being emotive. He got lost in it sometimes-

"-and then, you weren't fucking there either. So I went fucking riding around Derry looking for you, you asshole. And when I was doing a fucking round, I saw your bike. Which you parked really fucking far away-"

Richie felt a little like running away.

"-So, I parked my bike where yours was, and saw your shitty shirt from a mile away because it's fucking hideously bright-"

Richie was frozen solid.

"-And now, I'm here," Eddie finished with a breath. His face was a little red from all the talking, Richie barely noticed it though.

They stood there in silence for a second too long. He knew that because Eddie started shifting from one foot to the other like he did when he was getting impatient.

"Why are you here anyway?" Eddie followed up, deciding to fill the silence himself, "-And why did you fucking lie about it?"

Richie gnawed at his lip, squeezing his hands into fists and then opening them, over and over again.

"Do you have like a-" Eddie pursed his lips together, awkwardly, "-secret crush on Bev or something? Is that why you didn't tell anybody-"

His mouth moved before he could stop it, "Bev's name doesn't start with an E, Eds."

He almost physically flinched at saying that shit, and then saying his name (which did in fact start with an E) so close together. If Eddie thought about it for too long, it was so fucking easy.

"Then... Then-" Eddie puffed out, maybe a little like he was being left out, "-why is it such a big fucking deal? You talk about girls all the time. Are you like... Is this fucking bigger than normal? Are you in love or some shit-"

"No," Richie near instantly responded, "-we just... uh, I just kissed her."

Eddie didn't believe him at all, he could tell (just stick to your fucking guns) and there was something in his face that he couldn't name.

"So," he repeated, something in his tone (it was driving Richie fucking crazy), "-whose E?"

Richie was fucking scrambling, his mind was completely blank. His stomach was twisted in knots that felt so tight, that he might not be able to breathe-

"Elena from first period," Richie said, just letting his mouth move (it was all he could do).

Eddie paused for a second, before countering -aggressively, "I'm in your fucking first period, dipshit, it's an A. A-lana."

Richie knew that.

Richie tried to be convincing, looking back to the carving (he should've made it fucking smaller), "Shit, really? Too late now, I guess."

Eddie just stared at him, big brown eyes. It made Richie actually want to throw up. It was like he saw him, was just staring like he was peeling back the layers of his skin -straight to his heart. You don't know. You can't know. Please, don't figure it out-

"Richie," Eddie's voice was different now, serious, "-why the fuck are you lying to me? Aren't we like... best friends or is that not-"

"We are," Richie interrupted, genuine, "-Of course we are, Eds."

"Then," Eddie echoed, "-Then, what the fuck, Richie? Whose E?"

Richie felt broken open, honestly debating jumping off the bridge and into the water. Maybe he'd hit his head so hard that he'd knock himself out, and get out of this conversation. Which was fucked up. But he physically couldn't say it. Even though, there was a part of him (deep, deep inside) that wanted to so fucking bad it burned. That he might be fucking free. He might hate him, but he'd get it over with. He'd be fucking free. But if Eddie hated him...

"I can't tell you," he decided on -pathetically.

God, it was so fucking obvious. This shit felt like torture-

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Richie threw his hands up, cradling his face, "Can we please just fucking drop it, Eddie? I don't wanna talk about it-"

"I can't just drop it, dickhead," Eddie hissed back -something twisting in his face, "-You lied to all of us to fucking carve something in the kissing bridge. Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Eds, seriously-"

"No," he motioned with his hands, stomping somewhat closer to him (Richie almost physically took a step back, "-no, Richie. I'm confused as shit right now. Is there something wrong? Is it that stupid fucking clown ag-"

"No," Richie leveled, seriously.

"Then, what?" Eddie asked, closer (in his face now), "-What is so fucking bad about a carving on the kissing bridge? That you won't even tell your fucking friends about it-"

Richie was fidgeting with his hair now, constantly running his fingers through it, "Eddie, I can't-"

"What do you mean you can't?" Eddie kept pushing, "-Does she fucking not want to be seen with you or some shit?"

"Please, drop it-" Richie felt like crying.

Eddie frowned, and it was softer (even though he physically shoved him), "You're scaring the shit out of me, asshole. Seriously, this is so fucking unlike you. I don't... I don't get it-"

It fucking burst out of his chest, not exactly what needed to be said, but something very close.

"Eddie, it's not a fucking girl!"

Richie's face was in his hands, and his breaths were crashing out of his lungs so heavy -he might've been crying. He was frozen solid, and he physically couldn't move or look up. He couldn't look Eddie in the eyes. He might never be able to for the rest of his life. If he ever fucking sees him again-

His big ass mouth wins again.

Eddie was quieter then, careful, "What do you mean?"

"God," Richie threw his head up, and he was definitely crying, "-What the fuck do you think I mean, Eddie?"

He couldn't clearly see Eddie, but he could tell he looked a lot less angry. He was frowning, but in the nicer way, but there was still that thing that Richie couldn't identify. Do you hate me, Eds?

"I'm fucking sick in the head," Richie continued, and he was pacing now, "-I don't... I'm fucked up. I lied to everyone in my life. I've never even kissed a girl because I don't fucking want to-"

Eddie was just staring at him.

"And that's... And that's-" Richie let out a breath, "-that's not normal. I'm not... fucking normal."

There was a pause there, big breaths crashing through his chest. He tried to gather himself, like his life wasn't falling apart right there on the shitty ass bridge. Like he wasn't fucking broken open, like a porcelain doll. Like his best friend wasn't going to leave him in the dust because he's-

"You were never fucking normal, Richie."

Richie looked up, and Eddie didn't seem angry but he was scared to fucking death.

"Eddie, can you just leave me alone?" Richie billowed out, pushing his glasses up on his head so he could wipe at his eyes, and turned away from him (holding his arms and hunched over slightly), "-Like I know you fucking want to."

"How do you know what I want, dipshit?" Eddie piped up, "-Are you in my head?"

"Eds, seriously," Richie echoed, a little desperate, "-can you just go? I'm not... I need to be alone."

"Fuck that, you're my best friend, and-" Eddie replied, stubbornly, "-I'm not leaving you alone. You're gonna do something stupid, I just fucking know it."

Just leave me alone, please. It doesn't fucking matter anyway, I'm fucking broken. I'm not... right. Eddie, just leave me alone.

Richie sunk to the ground, pulling his knees up and hiding his face into them. He distantly felt the scabs littered along his skin, it was almost sort of grounding. It made him forget where he was, what he was saying, what he had said-

"Rich," Eddie spoke, hesitantly, "-is it me?"

He didn't say a word, he didn't even move. All that happened was his breath hitched in his chest. This day couldn't get any fucking worse-

"Am I E?" He continued, quietly (tone still drenched in that thing Richie couldn't identify).

Richie didn't respond, he couldn't. He'd already said too much. It was time for him to shut the fuck up, nothing he could say here would help-

"C'mon, Richie," Eddie persisted, "-just fucking answer me."

Richie just squeezed his knees tighter into his face, wordless. (For once in his life.)

"I'm actually asking you to talk for once," Eddie spoke, "-and you won't fucking do it."

"Eddie, I can't do this right now."

"Stop deflecting, asshole," Eddie just kept going (stop, stop, stop), "-just fucking tell me. Is it me?"

"Just stop, Eddie," Richie practically pleaded.

"I just wanna know, Richie," Eddie insisted, "-It's not fucking fair for you to not tell me."

Richie bit back, "I think I've fucking told you enough."

Eddie fell silent, maybe not expecting it.

"Do you think I wanted to tell you any of this?" Richie echoed out, head still shoved away, "-T-To tell anyone? I was just going to fucking die with it, alone. Because I'm not supposed to-"

Richie swallowed, cutting himself off.

"-I just... I'm not telling you anymore. I don't want to."

His breaths racked through his chest -loud and heavy. He was just trying to stop his heart from beating so fast, and trying to calm down. God, he never fucking wanted this.

"Who gives a fuck about what we're supposed to do?" Eddie countered.

Richie didn't move.

"Were we fucking supposed to-" Eddie's voice was getting louder (he was stepping closer), "-kill a fucking demon clown last summer?"

He just dug his face further into his legs, holding himself tighter. Ignore it. Ignore him.

"I'm supposed to take my pills Ma gives me," he proposed, even closer, "-but I fucking don't, do I?"

Ignore, ignore, ignore-

"Mike's supposed to kill stuff on the farm," he listed off, "-Bev's supposed to listen to her shitty ass Dad-"

"Eddie, stop," Richie nearly begged, something biting in his tone, "-None of that is the fucking same."

"How?" Eddie asked -pointedly, and he was right beside him now, "-How is that not the fucking same?"

"Because I'm," Richie sighed out, still not looking up, "-I'm fucking broken, Eds. I'm fucked up. Everyone else, they're allowed to do that shit, it's their own choice. I-"

His voice cut off (I can't control it. I can't fucking choose, if I could, I would be normal).

And even with the thought, he wasn't sure if he would. It was fucking Eddie. He didn't want to... He somehow, despite it being wrong, didn't want to lose what he felt for Eddie. Maybe that's why he carved it, because there was some part of him that was proud. Buried far, far away he thought Eddie was worth the whole fucking world, even if it meant that he was different. Broken.

He could hear Eddie sit down in front of him, the creak of the wood and he felt his body heat thrum against his legs. Richie didn't move an inch.

"Richie, we killed a fucking clown monster," Eddie leveled, "-we're all fucked up from that."

Richie stayed silent.

"Not liking girls is the least of your worries, dipshit," Eddie retorted, maybe trying to joke around like usual, "-your brain barely fucking functions as is."

Richie couldn't help the little laugh that slipped out. He heard Eddie laugh a little too, and it made something in him feel a little lighter -despite everything being so fucking heavy. Eddie always made it so much easier. Which was why it's so fucked that Richie felt this way. Eddie Kaspbrak meant a shit ton to him, and he fucking wasted it on... on feelings. He could fucking leave because Richie was-

"My Ma is... is wrong about all the sickness stuff, so-" Eddie echoed out, "-so maybe the whole world is wrong about... about you. That it's... That you're sick."

Richie felt his eyes burn, and felt a sob claw up his throat. Fucking Eddie. It's always fucking Eddie-

"It it... If it helps," Eddie started hesitantly, uncertain, "-I don't think you're sick. For that, anyway. Fucking everything else, I can't say shit on-"

Richie laughed again, harder this time -shaking his head against his legs, "You're such a dick, Eds."

"Well, you fucking laugh at it," Eddie shoved at him (and Richie could tell he was smiling), "-so what's that say about you, asshole?"

They fell into a comfortable silence, and Richie felt a little better. He'd told someone, and they hadn't run away. Eddie hadn't run away. Despite everything-

"Is it me?" Eddie ducked his head slightly, to maybe try and catch his eye, "-Richie, did you carve that for me?"

Richie clammed up, just as quickly as he'd relaxed. His breaths heavy in his chest, "You'll hate me. Eds, I can't handle you hating me-"

"I'm not gonna fucking hate you, dickweed," Eddie assured, cutting off his spiral, "-if I was gonna do that, I would've done it a long fucking time ago. Maybe that time you spit in my fucking shoes."

Richie laughed a little again.

"It's not funny, moron," Eddie bit back, "-I had to borrow fucking Bill's too big ones until I could save up enough allowance for new ones. Do you know how much it hurts to wear shoes that are too big for you? I fucking fell on my face like every other step-"

"Yeah," Richie laughed (fully, this time), remembering, "-I remember you fell down the stairs like a fucking cartoon character-"

"I almost broke my ankle, dick."

"You did fucking not," Richie defended, looking up now (Eddie was smiling at him), "-it was like three fucking steps. You literally just scraped your knees. I do that every fucking day-"

"Yeah," Eddie replied, "-and look where that got you, jackass."

"Jeez, Eds, fucking kick a guy when he's down," Richie responded -playfully, "-What did I ever do to you?"

Eddie raised his eyebrows, flattening his mouth into a line (Richie could see him physically try not to smile) "Are you really fucking asking me that?"

"Nah," Richie moved a hand to pat his head, "-I'm sure you've got a whole fucking log on me in that lil' head of yours. And who am I to disagree?"

Richie eventually unwound himself, tension slipping off his shoulders. Eddie was good at doing that for him. And apparently he didn't fucking hate him, somehow. He didn't even think that it made him sick. And Eddie thought that everything made everyone sick.

It was a few minutes later, and they were both laying against the bridge, looking up at the sky. It was a kinda summery day, despite it being fall, and the sky was a perfect kind of blue. Clouds in shapes that they called out (Richie kept saying different dicks, yeah, but still).

"Eds?"

There wasn't a second of silence, and he felt Eddie turn to look at him, "Yeah?"

He breathed it out, open and into the air, "It is you."

There was a silence for a second, and somehow Richie didn't quite mind it. He waited patiently, not even sure if he should be expecting an answer. And before he could think about it too hard, he felt Eddie's hand wiggle into his (the ones with the scar). It wasn't the first time, honestly, but it felt a little different then.

"Yeah," Eddie responded, smiling and looking back up at the sky, "-I know."

Richie snapped his head to him, "Fucking wow, you just Han Solo'ed me, and you call me the asshole?"

"That's because you are," Eddie fired back, laughing, "-you've done way worse shit."

But he was still holding his hand, and Richie didn't think he'd let go. Maybe he'd hold it as long as he could, Richie sure as fuck wasn't letting go.

With the perfect blue sky, his best friend, and a carving on some wood, Richie Tozier thought it might all be okay.

[swoosbadfuture]

ian and erin headcanons . hi im sane

Ian

Barely scraping 5’7

Half Canadian on his mom’s side

Bisexual, male pref

Straight A* student all aside from literature in which he barely has a B. Do not mention literature to him ever he’ll go mad

superiority complex . start the clown music . he needs to prove he’s the best always because if he isn’t the best then he’s automatically the worst

Very very autistic + low empathy. Prefers logic > emotion . Has a kind of “im not the weird one everyone else is weird I’m the normal one” view by accident

Complete Mama’s boy. you would never expect it but he is her little boy through and through

Gets along well w his dad too but they have very similar personalities and kinda clash a lot . Similar ideals just both very argumentative n stubborn . But god they will sit and listen to music for hours and just go full autism mode over it

Both his parents are very chill though. They are also both goths n r very proud of Ian

He's an only child

Voice breaks the moment he shows any emotion he’ll be talking normally n then get emotional n his voice just 📈

Speaking of which he is overly emotional and very bad at expressing it . very volatile person

Loyal to a fault and very justice oriented but also kinda holds these values to everyone without realising not everyone has the same morals . He doesn’t quite Get that not everyone is the same as him

Overprotective in a way that sometimes comes across as possessive . He’s not possessive he just has issues okay 💔

Phobia of the ocean and everything in it u will never see him on a boat ever he’d rather Die

Was good friends with Jason in kindergarten but kinda drifted apart from him as Jason got closer with Kevin. Kevin and Ian have never liked eachother insult eachother mercilessly. Poor Jason had to sit there and watch as they tried to beat eachother to a pulp. You can tell Kevin hates Ian because he rarely ever calls him by his first name

has a boyfriend in secret. Very much denies it. Only Erin and his parents know and he is trying so very hard to not let the secret out

Wants OUT of McKinley so bad . doesn’t even care abt changing his last name. I imagine McKinley is probably a bit of a small suburban town thats a bit of a bedroom community. The theme park is probably more well known than the town itself. Ian knows that if he just moves a few towns over then the name association will Go Away

Wanted to do astrophysics at college :) thinks space is cool as fuck

Resting face is worse than bitch he looks like he’s about to commit a murder in cold blood . Cold stare 0 emotions. And then suddenly he smiles and he’s just :D

Must stick to a consistent sleep schedule or else he’s a delusional nightmare

Stronger than he looks but would also probably crumple into 1000 pieces if he stubbed his toe

Likes horror movies but is lowkey a bit squeamish . would never admit it though. His favourite movie is Saw 2004 and he has to look away at all the gorey parts

Erin

5’8 and uses this 1 inch she has over Ian for Everything.

German ancestry on her dad’s side but doesn really know much about it besides that It’s There

Bisexual w pref for girls .

She/they nonbinary

Dyed her hair blue once and the ends are still kinda stained . Doesn’t care to cut it off because she thinks it looks cool (it does (it absolutely does))

Actual straight A* student and again uses this against Ian and teases him about his many struggles with Shakespeare

Collects bones n skulls n animal pelts and etc. Owns a few taxidermy animals .

Also very autistic n relates a lot to Ian bc of it

Is actually fairly good at socialising! just hates people

Parents do not understand the whole goth thing but are trying their best . Yes they did freak out when Erin brought home a taxidermy rat she got while out with Ian at an arts fair but oh well what can you do

Used to do figure skating when she was young !! still very confident at ice skating n likes to show off whenever she goes compared to Ian whos constantly falling on his ass. Let her have her moments of glory she deserves them.

The one who does the nail polish. Hence why hers is always perfect and Ian’s is always chipped bc she can always touch hers up whenever she needs to and Ian Cannot

Very aware of Ian’s superiority complex absolutely humbles him every chance she gets

Kinda obsessed w shitty low budget horror movies and indie films

Absolutely adores the art of SFX and fake gore / blood / etc n loved doing it herself. Halloween was her favourite holiday and she’d always go all out with it. Or would grab Ian and make him sit there for 2 hours. “come here sit down I need to see how realistically I can make your hand look like it’s been mauled” “Erin ew what the fuck”

Crush on Wendy that she’d never ever admit to. Only Ian knows and they have a deal where if he doesn’t spill about her crush she won’t spill about his boyfriend. Problem solved (they’re at eachother’s necks over it)

Makes friendship bracelets for her friends. Rest in peace Erin Ulmer you wouldve loved the Loom Bands craze of 2014

the both of them

Social rejects but they own it ™️ . Will literally take in anyone who’s also a bit of a ‘weird kid’ and convert them to goth subculture

Unfortunately this happens never it really do just kinda be the two of them vs the world huh

Dated for like a week once in sophomore year. Broke up immediately after their first kiss and decided they’d just pretend it never happened and that that 1 week of their lives just doesn’t exist. Did not happen ❤️

That being said though RAAAH WHAT ARE THE BOUNDS OF FRIENDSHIP. They hug and cuddle and hold hands and kiss cheeks constantly even if only as friends. Very physically affectionate though partially kinda to fuck with people who can’t seem to understand what the hell is going on with them both

“Oh yeah look at us nobody thinks we’re queer” “Ian we’re goth we might as well have it tattooed on our foreheads” “Fucks sake I can’t have shit in the 21st century”

Friendly banter is fucking insane they are just straightup insulting eachother. You know that one Gumball meme where Gumball is in hospital after being hit by a bus and he gets a card from Darwin saying “that bus should’ve ended you. love Darwin” that’s them that’s them that is them

They care eachother so much they are just bad at vocalising it so if they arent sitting there hugging they instead feel the need to be aggressively mean to eachother in loving and caring way

Erin is way more grounded and has more common sense than Ian who meanwhile is batshit insane at times and will 100% do crazy shit for the hell of it

Both of them rockin up to the town next door w their fake IDs to buy a months worth of R rated movies (fool proof plan (Ian almost got arrested once))

If only they had been around when Vine came out …. they would’ve been famous i tell u

[justinewt]

Meet the Hayashi sisters - TOKYO GHOUL REWRITE OCs

[TOKYO GHOUL-MASTERLIST]

Do not use my character without my consent thanks <3

warning: any arts and pictures you’ll see are not mine (I found them on pinterest) and to portray my oc I took AI generated OC on Pinterest (CREDITS TO LILY/FREESIYA & V I R U S/HARSHXRYU), Junko and Rei are characters 100% created by me, Justine but the style of the bio has been inspired by the Tokyo Ghoul wiki and bios made by director Guillermo Del Toro <3

And PLEASE, you are all very beautiful as you are, DO NOT feel bad about my character’s body/weight/height/measurements or anything !! And you are all beautiful humans <3

words: 4.2k

Hayashi Junko bio

INFORMATIONS

FIRST NAME: Junko

LAST NAME : Hayashi

JAPANESE NAME: 林淳子

ROMANIZATION: Hayashi Junko

MEANING OF NAME: 淳子 means “pure child” and 林 means "grove" or "forest"

ALIASES: Her main alias is The Chimera, or キメラ (kimera). It is unrelated to the look of her mask which is just meant to be creepy and show her unstable character. It is entirely about her condition as a chimera ghoul, having multiple kagunes (Chimera Ghouls have a 0.1% occurence)

Her second alias as a member of the Clowns is Three-face or 三つの顔 (San-tsu no kao), which some people thought echoed Uta's alias of No face but it's, again, all about showing her unstable character

SPECIES: Ghoul

STATUS: ALIVE

AGE: 16-17 (during flashbacks); 28-29 (Tokyo Ghoul; season 1 & 2); 31-33 (Tokyo Ghoul: RE; season 3 & 4); 38 (after the 6 years time jump)

GENDER: Female

DATE OF BIRTH: October 31, 1986 (28 BSBI)

HEIGHT: 172cm (5’7”)

BLOOD TYPE: B

ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio

NATIONALITY: Japanese

OCCUPATION: High School student (formerly); unemployed

AFFILIATIONS: Uta’s gang (formerly); the Kyoto massacre (her real name isn’t affiliated to the serial murders and mass killing that ensued, her alias The Chimera is); HySy ArtMask Studio; Clowns

WARD: 20th Ward (formerly); 4th ward

RC TYPE: Rinkaku and Koukaku // kakuja

RATING: SS+ (Multiple Special Class Investigators are needed)

FAMILY

RELATIVES: Unnamed parents (mother deceased before the start of the first season); they are direct descendants of the founder of the Confucian scholars' branch of the Hayashi clan, Hayashi Razan (1583–1657), as they are the granddaughters of the 10th Daigaku no Kami, Hayashi Gakusai (1833–1906), formerly Hayashi Noboru, head of the temple Yushima Seidō in 1867.

FRIENDS: Itori; Renji Yomo

LOVER: Uta

FAMILY HISTORY: The Hayashi are direct descendants of the founder of the Hayashi clan, Hayashi Razan, formerly known as Hayashi Nobukatsu, who also founded a clan school in the 1700s, which is nowadays a Confucian temple in Tokyo where the sisters’ parents often took them over the years. They raised their children in the Confucian philosophy, aiming to instil in them ancestor worship and ghoul-centered virtues for living a peaceful life. A phrase that they told the two girls often was “Do not do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you.”, which is the golden rule of Confucianism.

They are the great-great-great granddaughters of the 10th (and last) Daigaku no Kami, Hayashi Gakusai, formerly Hayashi Noboru, head of the temple Yushima Seidō in Tokyo in 1867. He died 80 years before Junko's birth and was the first to have a child with a ghoul, in 1860, unknowingly at first but with his Confucian philosophy, he eventually accepted her true nature as he loved her dearly. They set a trend in the family and their children married and had children with ghouls but hid their nature well and were very peaceful, so they never drew any unwanted attention to themselves. The Hayashi sister's father was first married to a human before meeting their mother and having them. He fell in love with a young human woman and tied the knot with her in 1955. She fell pregnant but the pregnancy killed her; she died basically eaten from the inside by her baby who didn't survive either and his wife and son died in 1957. He became greatly depressed after that, spending his days at the temple or at the graveyard until his good friend, whom he had gone to college with, the heir to the Tsukyama empire, Murimo Tsukiyama, offered him a job at his father's company.

He began working there in the early 60s and from then on, he didn't interact with human much and was often thought to be snobbish as he basically ignored and disregarded them. In 1978, he met a 23-year-old young woman, also a ghoul a she began working as a front desk attendant at the company he worked at. Despite being twice his age, the two grew closer and becama couple in the early 1980s, having their first child in 1986, a daughter, Junko. By then, he was a higher-up at the company and could provide for the family on his own so his wife decided to quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom. To her, her child was the most beautiful thing she could ever have in her life. That is why she named her “pure child”. The couple would often be invited over at the Tsukiyama manor for diner, and they presented their first child to them, a few months after she was born. As a child, Junko started displaying traits and behaviours that her parents for some reason overlooked. She never felt any guilt or remorse over eating human flesh and never thought it was strange to like the sight of blood. When she was 7 years old, her mother got pregnant again and gave birth to her younger sister, Riona and the arrival of this baby really forced their parents to admit to themselves that something was wrong with their eldest daughter. She wasn’t the pure baby they thought they had. Junko had a strong dislike for her sister from the start. She thought she looked weak, and viewed her as an enemy from the start.

As a child, Riona looked up to her sister and idolized her, worshipping the ground she walked on and following her around which annoyed Junko but her sister kept coming back even when she pushed her away and she realized she could do whatever she wanted with her so she made her do things for her, treating like a pet rather than her little sister. She was often told by her parents to be nicer to her sister but she was pretty convincing and always managed to get them on her side. When Riona was 6 and Junko 13, she pushed her sister down a flight of stairs and because they're ghouls, they heal quickly so she would do it multiple times a week, leaving enough times for her to heal before their parents saw it and doing it again. When she was 15 and Riona 8, one of Junko's classmates, whose younger brother was Riona's classmates, bullied Riona. Junko didn't take kindly to her toy being used by someone else so she got into a fight with the boy, breaking his nose and biting off his earlobe with her teeth. He was sent to the hospital. The Tsukiyama helped sweeping the whole thing under the rug and the boy was expelled while Junko was pulled out of school by her parents and began being homeschooled by her mother. One evening that same year, she hunted down the boy and stalked him and cornered him in an alleyway where she tear off his tongue so he couldn't scream and began torturing him, eating him alive and disemboweling him.

Around the same time she began hearing about things happening in the 4th ward and thought it sounded pretty cool and entertaining. There was a ruthless gang that basically ruled the area. She wanted to know about it and see it for herself so she tried to find a way to get their attention. She was from the 20th ward and no one had ever heard of her there so the moment she stepped there and began hunting there, she stuck out like a sore thumb and became a target of the gang since it was their hunting grounds. That's also when she was first called the Chimera as no one ever told her it was strange for a ghoul to have two kagunes. Until then she had no idea. The rumour of a "chimera" ghoul hunting in the 4th ward spread quickly because she would attack other ghouls but leave them alive so it could get to the gang members and leader. After the second attack, she also began cannibilizing the ghouls she attacked, eating flesh from their thighs, arms and bellies. It tasted gross compared to human meat but it was fun to her and she kept doing it. By the time Uta finally caught up with her - it took a few weeks because during the day she was in the 20th ward and no one knew so at first he thought people were fucking with him and he murdered those telling him there was a chimera ghoul and he shut them up saying it didn't exist and he thought it must have a lone ghoul attacking people and ghouls at night -, she had attacked and cannibalized half a dozen ghouls and almost ate and killed twice as many humans.

They faced off one day and showed to be of equal strength until she showed her two kagunes which shocked the gang members and only further picked Uta's curiosity. No one had ever seen a chimera ghoul. There she met Yomo, who was the one to step in and put an end to the fight when it was clear neither Junko nor Uta was going to prevail and he talked Uta into allowing Junko to join the gang. She became a member that night and didn't go back home which got her parents incredibly worried. Her mother was worried for her eldest daughter's safety while her father was more worried for the humans, and other ghouls, of wherever she had ran off to. Riona was only 9 and didn't really know what was going on. Their father spoke with the Tsukiyama patriarch, and his old friend, Mirumo and they sent men working for their organization to look for Junko. The orders were clear: look for her, find her whereabouts but DO NOT engage. She was young but they knew she was ruthless and a chimera which already made her a threat, even to older ghouls.

A week later, it was brought to Mirumo's attention that a chimera ghoul was wrecking havoc with the 4th ward gang. He asked them to confirm if it was Junko and they did; it was her, and from what they were told, she was close to the gang's leader and right arm. Her mother desperately wanted her daughter back and asked her husband to find a way to bring her home but Mirumo and him decided against it and left her to her own device, thinking that, eventually, she would be caught by the CCG and they would put an end to the threat she was but less than a year later, as Junko turned 17, her mother ventured in the 4th ward. By then, the CCG was actively searching for the ghoul they had nicknamed "the Chimera", alrealy labelled a SS+ ghoul, having no idea it was a teenager who. They knew of her cannibal tendencies and speculated she must have a kakuja as well though there was yet to be a report of her using it in combat. By then, her Rc cells level was SO high that her kakugan couldn't be turned off anymore.

Her mother was brought to Uta and Junko one night after letting herself be captured and she pleaded with her daughter. The latter turned a deaf ear to her mother's words and began attacking her, activating her kakuja at some point, shocking her mother. She destroyed her body to the point her mother had to crawl on the ground to move. She also crushed her spine, completely losing it. That evening, her father noticed his wife's absence and instantly knew where she must have gone off to. He went there with a few other men and found Junko's murdering her own mother. She didn't listen to him as he tried to talk to her, her kakuja having already gotten to her too badly and she murdered, on her own, her father and his detail. When CCG agents showed up, the gang members either managed to flee or were killed. Yomo and Uta watched the fight from a rooftop because Uta refused to leave and if he couldn't fight he was gonna watch. Junko's face was already kind of covered by her kakuja and the fight lasted half an hour but she killed the special agents and fought until exhaustion where she just collapsed to the ground and was picked up by Yomo. The fight and use of the kakuja had taken a toll on her body and mind and it took a while for her to recover.

The gang lied low for the next year or so. Riona was 10 when the massacre of the 4th ward happened and was taken in by the Tsukiyama and raised alongside Shuu and his cousin. Meanwhile Uta and Junko got into a relationship. She controlled her kakuja better too but at Yomo's advice, rarely used it, almost never really. By the time the trio entered their early 20s, the gang was no more and they kind of settled down. By the time they were in their mid 20s, Uta now had his mask shop, Yomo began working and helping the Anteiku and their friend Itori had her bar. Junko lived a carefree life, staying home, sometimes being a special guest at the Ghouls' restaurant. She was almost royalty among the Ghouls for the rarity of her condition, a chimera ghoul who also had a kakuja, but she was also greatly feared and people treaded lightly around her and being Uta's muse. She also struck a deal with the Anteiku, promising not to cause another massacre in any other ward and they thought she realy held up her end of the deal but really she was a member of the Clowns with Uta.

PERSONALITY : Like her sister and Uta, she has a very nice way of speaking and seems friendly when you meet her but the smile on her face quickly becomes creepy. She is very manipulative and a great liar and doesn't show remorse. She used to abuse her sister when the latter was a child, manipulating and gaslighting her. She lacks empathy and doesn't care about anyone but herself and is unfazed by most things. As a teenager, she was savage and sadistic and liked to see other ghouls fight each other - the fights were always very violent - and she showed to be brutal and ruthless, torturing someone for the first time when she was just 14, before eating him alive. It was fun to her.

Like Uta, she is quite hedonistic and sadistic in nature, which is probably why they got along so well and grew closer quickly, feeding off each other's inner chaos. Despite all this, she can show concern for others, though you gotta take it with a grain of salt. She shows genuine concern for Uta, for example when he fights Yomo. She had fun watching the fight but was very worried about him at the end as Yomo carries him on his back. She also sometimes shows concern for her sister, which does not erase the fact she abused her, but for example, the first human she ever tortured and ate was a boy that bullied Riona in junior high school and there are times when she fought with other ghouls, Junko would watch, until she was no longer entertained which happened when her sister got hurt. She would instantly step in and brutally kill the other ghoul.

Her relationship with Uta was ironically the least toxic of all the relationships she ever had - though being the only romantic one - because Uta and Junko see themselves as equal and never abused each other but their relationship was quite peculiar but it worked for them. Uta had a sort of eye fetish so when she played with her victims and then killed the, she would pluck their eyes out with her own fingers and bring them to Uta. She sometimes bit his lip when they kissed, just to taste his blood and they also sometimes bit flesh off each other, basically eating each other which aroused them.

Unlike Uta, she didn't develop this personality because of traumas or hardships she might have gone through in her childhood or things she witnessed, because her family was rather well off, though not wealthy like the Tsukiyama. She was just born like that and it got worse when her sister was born which seemed to be the trigger for her violent and abusive tendencies. She actually suffers - it doesn't really feel like suffering to her - from antisocial personality disorder. Because of the disorder, and the fact she remains undefeated among ghouls, she never learns from negative experiences and remains the same. Only after Uta kind of changes his views of the world does she question her behavior. She agrees to let others support her and though the lack of actual empathy remains, she manages her condition better and improved her behavior and her relationship with Riona and she reduced the harm she put her through.

APPEARANCE : Junko is a beautiful woman to the point it is almost creepy and the smile that always stretches her lips is just as scary and intimidating. In Tokyo Ghoul, she has mid-back lenght hair. In RE, and the time skip, her hairstyle has changed, adding bangs similar to that her sister had in S1 & 2 (her sister actually started letting her bangs grow out when Junko got hers) and her hair now reached the very bottom of her back. She also has tattoos all over her body, like Uta (see post time skip pic, she got them in her mid 20s)

Junko always dresses in black and her regular clothes are a turtleneck, with long sleeves, black pants and she always goes out with sunglasses to hide her eyes because her kakugan is constantly on (Because of her chimera nature, her RC level was naturally higher when she was born but her inability to turn it off came about when she started actively cannibalizing and stopped eating humans altogether - funfact: Uta greatly enjoyed/enjoys watching her fight and eat other ghouls). At home she always wears a black, kimono-like robe, with of course nothing underneath. It goes on to show how provocative she wants to be in private, because she is also dressed like that when people run into her when coming to see Uta. It amuses her to see them being embarrassed and awkwardly try to keep looking at her face. And, really, she couldn't be bothered to get dressed for any other reason than having to go outside.

Hayashi Riona bio

INFORMATIONS

FIRST NAME: Rei

LAST NAME : Hayashi

JAPANESE NAME: 林凛桜

MEANING OF NAME: 凛 means "dignity, majesty, awe-inspiring" and 桜 means “cherry blossom”

ALIAS: The doll (it's the only mask on which Uta didn't work alone, he made it, sculpted/painted the flowers but Junko painted the "makeup")

SPECIES: Ghoul

STATUS: Alive

AGE: 16 (flashback//Tokyo Ghoul Days); 21-22 (Tokyo Ghoul; season 1 & 2); 23-24 (Tokyo Ghoul: RE; season 3 & 4); 31 (after the 6 years time jump)

GENDER: Female

DATE OF BIRTH: May 4th, 1993 (21 BSBI)

HEIGHT: 168cm

BLOOD TYPE: O

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

NATIONALITY: Japanese

OCCUPATION: College student (formerly); Violonist; Peacekeeper

AFFILIATIONS: Tsukiyama family; Anteiku; Ghoul Restaurant (defected); Kaneki's group (formerly); Goat (formerly); United front; TSC

WARD: 4th ward (formerly); 21st Ward; 20th Ward (temporarely)

RC TYPE: Koukaku

RATING: S- (Equivalent to the ability of an average Associate Special Class Investigator)

FAMILY

RELATIVES: Unnamed parents (mother deceased before the start of the first season); Mirumo Tsukiyama (father-in-law)

FRIENDS: Ken Kaneki; Renji Yomo; Kanae Von Rosewald, the Anteiku crew

LOVER: Shuu Tsukiyama (to whom she's actually engaged in Tokyo Ghoul, gets married the year before RE, gets pregnant by the 4th season and gives birth to their son in the first year of the time skip, their son is already 6 after it, when he was around 4, they welcomed their second child, another son. // unlike them, Junko has no desire of ever having children and neither does Uta)

PERSONALITY : The Confucian philosophy greatly influences Riona's character. She comes off as a gentle and friendly young woman. She always has a sweet smile stretching her lips, and seems efortlessly elegant. She's also actually nice, caring and trustworthy and even though she is Shuu's fiancé, and Junko's sister, she's not manipulative and deceiving at all but that doesn't mean she's an open book either. People she interacts with and befriends always feel like they know her and easily see through her when they really don't. She's stronger than she lets on, though still weaker than the likes of Junko or Uta, for example.

She's also very selfless and puts Shuu's needs before hers. The latter had poor control over his emotions, with intense outbursts or "meltdowns" and she was always the one who had to deal with him. She showed great patience in those moments. He would always then gets to his knees and cry, his arms around her waist. She wouldn't react to him until he stopped and would just stand there.

In the early days of Tokyo Ghoul, she was pretty much like this already though she was less confident but again, she never showed it. During her adolescence, she was more self-conscious because she wasn't sure that the feelings she had for Shuu were reciprocate and she also felt unworthy of him reciprocating her feelings because she felt inferior to him because though she lived in the Tuskiyama's manor, she didn't feel like Shuu's equal. His father had only become her guardian since she became an orphan after her parents' murder and despite the ancient history of her family, the wealth they might have had had been watered down through the generations.

At the time, Shuu had trouble understanding other people's emotions - he viewed their only human friend, Chie Hori, as a pet - but he did care about Riona as she was one of the only people he valued. Knowing this made her feel better and realize he had actually always viewed her as a friend and equal. They even began dating when they were around 16 and Shuu's intetions were very clear from the beginning. He intended to marry her and after telling his father of their relationship, Mirumo Tuskiyama betrothed the two teenagers. They married when they turned 18 and began going to college.

Since that time, he wasn't well-liked by their classmates and other ghouls for his kind of haughty behavior and on the contrary, Riona was very well-liked by both classmates and professor and people really wanted to be her friend but she rarely hung out with anyone other than Shuu and Hori.

Regarding her sister, Riona has become quite scared of Junko. When she was younger, she idolized her and basically worshiped the ground she walked on despite the fact that throughout her childhood, she was abused both physically and mentally by Junko but she kept coming back to her. This toxic relationship "stopped" when Junko was forced to leave Tokyo. Riona was 12 or 13 at the time. Even as an adult, Riona is still fearful of Junko and she hides behind the power that's carried by the Tsukiyama name. Maybe the treatment she suffered at her sister's hand is the main reason for her overly selfless and nice personality as an adult. When Junko came back to Tokyo, and let her sister know, Riona became quite paranoid, never feeling at ease - she was right to be on her guards because Junko spent most of her days stalking her when Riona was still in college. It was so much that sometimes, at the end of the day, she broke down in tears, comforted by Shuu, telling her he and his family would keep her safe.

APPEARANCE : Rei is a really pretty young woman, just slightly shorter than her older sister. Her kakugan isn't always on, unlike Junko, and her eyes are grey. She has long black hair and until the end of Tokyo Ghoul season 2, she also has blunt bangs which by the end of it turn into curtain bangs as she bleaches one side of her hair, giving this dual black and white look. During the year before Tokyo Ghoul: RE, her sister cuts similar bangs so Rei ditches hers and let them grow out, regularly bleaching her roots to. She sticks to that look until the 6-year long time skip where she stops bleaching her hair after doing it for four years as it's damaging it and she was pregnant by the end of RE so she stopped. She goes back to plain black hair and most often wears them in a low bun.

Regarding her clothes, in Tokyo Ghoul, her regular outfit consists of a black mao neck jacket with gold buttons and black dress pants, she also sometimes wears a black yukata with flowers or a form fitting black dress when going to the Ghoul restaurant. By the end of Tokyo Ghoul and throughout Tokyo Ghoul: RE, her style seems less elegant. She wears a black zipped hoodie with white kanji on the left sleeve. After the time skip and becoming a mother, she starts wearing blouse dresses.

After the timeskip, she's just 31, while her sister is pushing 40 but when the two are around each other, people mistake the sisters for twins though they are 7 years apart, as they look like they're the same age which is because Rei does not cannibalize other ghouls unlike her sister, who has managed to look almost 10 years younger after exclusively and regularly eating ghouls since her late teens.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Longass Crop Circles Notes (for Lately, I've Been Thinking and I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter One

Finally delivered to @spicymiilk our king. My apologies that these longass notes are not as detailed as last time. I shall endeavor to get more detailed as I read more of the fic. I will post my rage thoughts on chapter eight of for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie tomorrow though, and that shit will be novel length. Anyways:

Lately, I've Been Thinking:

-Me when Andrei says Spider will have a bad time: but does he ever have a good time for you??

-NORM CONTENT. *airhorn blares*

-I gotta love the tragic Shameless vibes you bring into my Spider fics, man. 

-Retweet, Spider, we all hate men. We are all scared of men. 

-Rip Paz, the fandom tries to tell me you weren’t a bitch but I don’t buy it. You totally were. Justice for Trudy, who was way cooler.

-Wait, did Spider do drugs too? The needles are around his bed? Or did he steal his moms bed?

-Lol, Paz is in and out, there is SO MUCH Shameless in this story. You can't hide from me, bastard.

-YESS, THE FAST FOOD AU. 

-Also, Andrei, what is it about beating the natural joy and zest for life out of Spider that gets u off?

-Neteyam will lOVE fixing this guy tho. Spider is his wet dream at this point. 

-I actually know a kid in my grade who was placed with one of my family friends when he was seventeen, he is fantastic. He’s the oldest of like, seven kids and the littlest ones go to the elementary school I work at now. My mom works there too and she always says you can tell when this kid is home because the little ones are showered and on time, and he takes them to get haircuts and stuff. He used to walk 45 minutes to work every day. He’s a great guy but he doesn’t stay. He doesn’t let them drag him down. :/

-Spider, on the brink of death, unloved and abused and neglected, dirty and with one single tangle of hair: hi

Neteyam: that is my soulmate. 

I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter One:

-WHATS YOUR DAMAGE THE FIC? That’s the one line I quote more from any other type of media. Every day I go “WHAT IS YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA??” 

-N E T E Y A M VS SELF ESTEEM. MAN MANAGES TO HATE HIMSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF SPIDER. 

-Also the fear I felt when I saw Miles and Norm are best friends actually, I’m comforting myself like “no no, he meant Spider it’s okay.”

-The hilarity of getting rid of Lo’ak and Kiri who are the canonically closest to Spider and leaving us with Tuk and Neteyam and Jeytiri. That excited me lITERALLY SO MUCH. The fast food au did start with only Tuk and Neteyam, and that’s juicy. We are forced to develop and explore relationships that are underdeveloped in canon and are harder to justify as instant sparks. You took away his natural in canon support systems so he has to learn to develop even faster with the other Sully's and that is a banger idea.

-W H E E L C H A I R J A K E. God I love wheelchair Jake aus, I love making them positive because I don’t like the way the first movie just fixed his disability. Give me Jake Sully being a positive disabled male father figure in his kids lives, just as present and happy and in love with his wife while paralyzed then he would be with mobility. What creative stuff has changed in their lives to accomidate? I need to know.

-Delighted by this Neytiri pov, my god. I feel like less people than I need in my life just let Neytiri have no bad blood at all with Spider in modern aus. She would be all over a neglected child.

-GET THE STICKY TOYS, thats so cute. And useful, I need him to get the magnets some kids got stuck to the ceiling in the gym at my work.

-Tuk is already bullying Neteyam about liking Spider and he isn’t even there yet. I’m lOVING the little bits of the fast food au I spot. She is going to be a menace. And clearly Neteyam is a lovesick clown.

-He is indeed about to get the shit loved out of him, and that is what every Spider Sully writer says before writing their fic. 

-WHAT DID THE MCCOSKERS DO SPIDER, NORM SHOULD KNOW, THEN HE WON’T PLACE OTHER KIDS WITH THEM BUDDY.

-Love the descriptions of how Spider feels when Norm’s body relaxes, just noting the way he backs off. So specific and accurate to any abused child. That tension and hypersensitivity to anyone's emotions, even people you implicitly trust, like never goes away.

-Norm thinking someone didn’t let Spider pee in the bathroom is so tragic and funny I feel bad for laughing. 

-Spider: heart palpitations upon seeing Neteyam

Spider: NORM YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE WINGMANNING ME?

I am picturing Norm and Tuk in the back of a Burger King setting up an elaborate plan while Neteyam sighs and watches Spider from a booth while writing Neteyam Socorro on all of his notebooks.

-i am cACKLING. You’ve never seen rizz as strong or as intense as “MILES??” and “WHOS THAT? WHAT’S SCHOOL, I DON’T KNWO WHAT THAT IS?” Their dumb clown asses belong together.

-In all seriousness though, I can't imagine how humiliating it would feel to Spider to know some random acquaintance at school was now privy to all your personal problems and business.

-I want to know how often Neteyam frequents the local Burger King. He's probably so embarrassed at how ready he was to big brother this kid. He's gonna be like "looking hot today, uh, I mean, did you need help with your homework champ???"

-This is now like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, Neteyam can call Kiri and Lo’ak on the phone and gossip about boy problems

-JAKE INTRODUCING HIMSELF AS A MILITARY MAN TO EVERY CHILD THAT GETS BROUGHT INTO THEIR HOUSE, NO ONE VETOED THAT SHIT?? Kiri hasn't been like "sTOP TELLING EVERYONE YOU LOVE THE MILITARY, YOU ARE EMBARASSING US."

-Also wow does Norm not know Spider’s dad was former military and he way not vibe with that at all?

-The way that Neteyam is still stalking Spider at McDonalds Or Burger King we can’t be sure. The mention of both places has sent me to space because it makes it seem like Spider used to work at McDonalds and then switched to Burger King and deeply obsessed stalker Neteyam Sully switched establishments to frequent.

-Spider’s fear of Tuk is hilarious and deeply sad, that is your bestie. 

-I LOVE love the idea of Kiri and Neteyam watching video essays. I love video essays, I wish my brothers did gOD. Also love a late night owl Neteyam head canon.

-Spider really is a wet rat. Have you ever actually seen a wet rat? The saying is so accurate. Kid was fed properly for the first time in years and then it killed him. Love kills Spider at first, as we have learned from all Spider Sully fics. He's like a dog eating chocolate, it's good, but at what cost.

[chickenwrapsandjuulpods4]

i hear everyone talking about body dysmorphia and have grown up w so many friends/family members who have struggled w body image but i have never once met someone who has this issue w their face to the extent i do. yes im fine w my body and yes im so thankful for that but no one will ever understand the way i feel about this face. it's so embarassing to walk around with this thing on me. to me, it looks like i was born with some sort of deformation and honestly i wish i could say that rather than just nah i was born this way for some reason. it literally feels like walking around with a neon green clown wig that i can't take off my head. i've accepted life with it and that i can't get rid of it but that doesn't make it any less humiliating. i don't believe in a god but if i did i would hate them for making me this way. it's also annoying bc i have the balls to go out n hang with people but i will never b able to do certain teenage girl activities w my friends. i can't dress up w them or do photoshoots or take silly selfies. i don't know anyone else who deals w this issue and it makes everything so lonely. at least with bd there r a lot of ppl talking about/dealing with it. when i used to deal with it i had so many people there for me and relating to me. now when i talk about my fd people are just like "...what? ive never heard of that" like BRUH (also ik techincally fd is just a form of bd but u know what i mean)