#clap for the catboy

[anonymous-dentist]

Part Six of the Catboy in the Village AU

Parts: 1|2|3|4|5

-

There's something in the castle, and it's weird.

It's silent save for its footsteps. It follows Cellbit and his forcibly-assigned guard wherever he goes, but it doesn't follow Roier and his guard. It isn't the queen, because she has been there several times when the Something has been hiding in Cellbit's shadow.

It isn't doing anything. Maybe it's just spying on Cellbit, but that's a given. He's been watched for a long time, probably, based off of how much the queen seems to know about him, but the Something just... doesn't feel like a spy? Its presence feels too small to be a threat, and yet it's been following Cellbit for at least an hour every day since his forced stay in the healer's quarters. Why? And, more importantly, what?

Since his stay in the healer's quarters, and since Roier was finally given permission to make himself and Cellbit their own (non-poisoned) meals, Cellbit has slowly, but steadily, begun his investigation of Castelo do Gato. He's been accompanied by his guard the whole time, but his guard also doesn't give a shit about what he's doing so long as he isn't escaping or trying to kill the queen, so Cellbit really doesn't think that he needs to be concerned about any information leaking to the queen.

His information as of day four of his investigation, and as of his eighth day of being kidnapped, is as follows:

The queen has only been queen for a couple of months now, and her first directive was a global search for her long-lost twin brother. Her name is Bagi, and she is very annoying, and Cellbit kind of hates her a lot.

There aren't as many staff in the castle as there should be. This makes sense; the previous king and queen were famously secretive, especially after their son's disappearance and the outbreak of the war. More staff is being hired, but there's a thorough screening process involved that the queen herself oversees.

The castle's healer's name is Niki. She's very nice, and she's better at potion making than Cellbit is. She's one of the queen's closer friends, and she's been with the castle since the previous king and queen were in charge.

The castle's mage's name is Mouse. She claims to be a demon, but not the demon, and she thinks that the demon haunting the castle needs to go to therapy because earthquakes and flames are not healthy forms of self expression. She draws her sigils with blood, and Cellbit really likes her.

The demon shows up once a week and shakes the castle and tears through the halls screaming. This only started when the queen took the throne (go figure.)

The missing brother went missing at 11 years old, and his name... was Cellbit, but he's a different Cellbit. There are no portraits of him in most of the castle upon the orders of the previous king, who was with the prince the day he vanished.

Everybody keeps talking about empanadas for some fucking reason, especially Niki and Mouse. The queen goes silent every time.

The investigation would probably be easier if Cellbit could force the queen to, like, act normally and tell him the truth, but she's a lost cause. She nearly threw her bowl of soup at Cellbit at dinner when he casually mentioned to Roier wanting to get a new pair of goggles to pin his ears back with, she's crazy.

But Cellbit isn't an idiot. He may have been a serial killer in his previous life, but he also spent a few years doing odd jobs and investigations around his and Roier's hometown. It's how they met, and it's how Cellbit is going to get them back home and to their kids.

So Cellbit investigates. He gets himself a notebook from the queen, who seemed relieved that he was doing something other than trying to murder her for once. He snoops around the castle, claiming that he's trying to get to know the building and the staff now that he's been "brought back home." (Saying that is enough to make him gag, but it's what works.) He goes to the library. He takes a nap in the courtyard on Roier's chest.

He steals Niki's spare pair of potion-making goggles, and he puts them on. He ignores the pain; he's used to it, after all.

And he's followed by the Something in the shadows.

Roier thinks that it's the queen stalking him, but Cellbit really doesn't. He's been in the same room with the queen and the Something, and stalking isn't the queen's style. She's bold with her moves, something that Cellbit almost admires about her. Almost.

(It's just nice to see a queen talk to both her staff and her citizens. That's all.)

But Cellbit goes to the library even with his little stalker, and that's where he is now. Researching. Looking into the royal genealogy records for any depiction of the prince- a painting, a sketch, anything.

There's a Something under the table by his knee. He can feel it breathing on him even through his trousers; its breaths are short and warm and almost panicked, hm. Maybe it shouldn't be creeping around if it can't handle the psychology of being a creep.

Cellbit's guard is almost asleep on a nearby sofa. Cellbit lets him sleep, he doesn't give a shit.

He flips through Volume Seven of Família De Gato. He's at the old king and queen's grandparents, so he's getting close. He can practically taste the prince: bitter, and dead.

So dead.

Absently, Cellbit adjusts his legs under the table. He crosses them, accidentally kicking the Something in the head as he does so.

And then he hears it: a near-silent little, "Ouch!"

"Desculpe," Cellbit tells it, because he isn't that much of a monster.

There's a gasp, tiny, and then the chair across from Cellbit shoves itself back from the table in a clear panic. The pages of Cellbit's book fly as a running breeze hits them as the Something takes off.

Cellbit glances at his guard. Asleep, wow, great!

With a grin, he licks his lips. And then he's out of his chair and running after the invisible Something with his pen clutched in his hand like a knife and his notebook held in his other hand.

The Something screeches as Cellbit swipes at it with his notebook hand. He whiffs, but his fingers brush against what is clearly hair. Human hair, he knows what human hair feels like, he's brushed his teeth with it plenty of times!

The Something blows through the library's door, Cellbit close behind. He can hear his guard shouting somewhere behind him, but fuck him. He fell asleep, this is clearly his fault!

Sometimes in the war, the Enemy would cast a spell that sent a dark fog over the battlefield. Cellbit had to rely on his hearing to survive.

He doesn't need to see the Something to know where it is. He can even guess how tall it is based off of how loud its footsteps are. It's... small. Light. Very fast, but still slower than a grown man.

Cellbit blinks as the air in front of him flickers. Something appears before him briefly before fading out again: something, indeed, small. Pink. Yellow.

Cellbit knows a fading invisibility potion when he sees it, he's tested them on himself enough times.

It's enough to give him the confidence to lunge and scoop the Something up and into his arms. He holds it against his chest and can't help but let out a brief, triumphant laugh.

"Finally!" he cheers.

And then a foot is driven backwards and right into his junk.

Cellbit groans and drops the Something, and then he drops himself right onto the floor and watches as the Something becomes a Someone in front of him. Their potion wears off fully, revealing a red-faced and exhausted little girl standing above him with her hands on her hips.

"Don't touch me!" she shouts.

Cellbit nods. Fair enough. "Yeah, okay. Hello."

The girl takes a step backwards. Her dress, pink, is made of fine silk. Her skin, dark, has little golden stars painted onto her cheeks like freckles. Her hair, wavy, falls into her face. Her hat looks like pancakes, clearly custom-made. It sits right on top of her head between two twitching, nervous, fuzzy little cat ears.

Ah?

Only members of the royal family, and Cellbit, have cat features. So does this make this girl...?

Slowly, Cellbit sits himself up. He looks down at his notebook, flips to a clean page. Puts his pen to paper. Looks back up at the girl.

She looks... upset. Mildly so. More uncomfortable than anything, she keeps patting her dress down and wiping at her abdomen with the palms of her hands.

"I'm sorry I grabbed you," Cellbit tells her.

She glances up at him with a small frown. "It's okay. I probably scared you."

Cellbit shrugs. "Eh, only a little. I've been followed by worse things than children."

Her eyes widen. "Really?"

"Mhmm. One time, I was followed around town by a half-man, half-spider for months."

She gasps. Cellbit nods. (He's sure Roier wouldn't mind being called a Spider-Man. He'd probably take it as a compliment, knowing him.)

"I'm just curious, really," Cellbit continues. "You live in a castle, what are you doing following a weird guy like me around?"

Immediately, the girl shakes her head and sticks her chin out. "I can't tell you. It's a secret."

Cellbit nods again. "That makes sense. You were invisible and everything. I didn't know you were there until a few minutes ago."

"Really?"

"Yes! You just need to work on your timing. Even if I didn't chase you out of the library, I would've found you because your potion would have run out right next to me."

The girl's face falls. "Oh."

"Don't worry, I'll write down some information on invisibility potions for you for later," Cellbit assures her. "Here..."

He scribbles out a simple potion schedule for a potion of average strength. Potions last for fifteen minutes, no potions for six hours after you take three potions in a row unless you want your skin to vanish but your insides to remain visible.

And then he tears the page out of his notebook and holds it out for the girl to take.

The girl stares at it.

"You... aren't angry that I'm following you around?" she quietly asks.

"Nope. You seem like a nice girl, even if your mom is kind of a weirdo. Just don't follow me into my cell with Roier, and you can keep following me around."

Her nose wrinkles. "Don't you mean your bedroom?"

Cellbit opens his mouth to argue, but he's stopped by his guard turning the corner and running towards them shouting vague assertive noises.

Cellbit rolls his eyes and puts his pen and notebook away. So much for today's research...

The guard's eyes widen as he takes in the scene before him.

"Your highness!" he gasps.

He drops to his knee and bows his head, his fist to his chest in a salute.

Cellbit huffs, but the girl just smiles and skips forward to pat the guard's helmet and tell him to stand.

"Yes, Princess Empanada," he says. "Whatever you say!"

...Princess Empanada.

Well. This explains a lot of confusion.

But... if the queen is sure that Cellbit is her brother, why hasn't she introduced him to her daughter? Unless... she isn't sure.

Unless she isn't sure.

Bingo. Maybe she can see reason, after all.

[didlivio]

raana kaname icons ++ cats for @seaing!

cat sticker from here & psd and redrawing by me reblog and credit to use!

[1hoverman0k]

omg lets give it up for naked catboys *obnixious clapping* *looks around* *entire room is silent* fuckkkkk sorry wrong blog *sits back down too forcefully so my folding chair collapses* fuck fuck shittt *2 old as fuck granola bars fall out of my pocket*

[teranobriss]

tumblr is such a great place because where else can I say something like "I'm mentally ill about a pathetic catboy office man" and not get verbally accosted like.

On Twitter? I'd be called the most horrific names ever known to man.

Facebook? Where all the boomers are?? No thanks.

People on here in Hatchetfield tumblr are just like "live laugh love Paul Matthews" and a few people clap and everyone's modestly happy

[carlyraejepsans]

Did you like sans’ punishment shack?

"sans pretends to be a superhero under his brother's creative guidance and makes bootleg products of his own supersona in his secret base to sell when he's off the clock" is perhaps the most hysterically sans thing about this entire goddamn au

also, about halfway through their segment i was like "man, wouldn't it be funny if papyrus tried to give the costume a speedo when they were still brainstorming the design and sans had to gently rederect his idea elsewhere" and then the game was like "ACTUALLY sans was the one 100% on board with the speedo, it's with alphys' catboy costume that he had to put his foot down". and i just had to step back and slow clap. i can recognize when I've been outsansed

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and exams

how i think seventeen will study for important exams

notes: inspired by me, and my friends, who are currently going through exams. tag yourself y'all, im jeonghan

masterlist

seungcheol:

tries to study rlly hard, spends an hour looking over his notes then proclaims loudly that test scores don't actually matter and you shouldn't base someone's self-worth on a bunch of numbers before throwing his stuff into the air. before he goes into the exam, he tells everyone to not expect anything from him. gets practically full marks. 

jeonghan:

one of those superstitious people who says that eating chocolate before having an exam helps you perform better. the members still don't know whether he actually believes it or uses it as an excuse to eat half a box of chocolate before his exams. meditates (prays) with minghao on the day of the exam. crams in the two days before, pulls all-nighters and is all charged up in caffeine and sugar. scores super high, so does it all again next time too

joshua:

goes round telling everyone to do your best!!! your best is all that you can do when it comes to tests and don't feel bad if you fail, especially if you're mingyu or seungkwan!!!! tutors the younger members in maths/ english when they get stuck, literally looks like a cute nerdy uni tutor when he puts on his rimmed glasses. claps when everyone gets their results, never tells anyone what his were

junhui:

firm believer of Winging It. hoshi swears that junhui has photographic memory or smth bc if anyone ever has a question about the material he answers back in record time despite having not looked at his notes Once ever since he wrote them in class. gets the third highest score out of all of them. is basically a genius trapped in a catboy's body

hoshi:

almost kills himself trying to cram for his exam a week before. lives on energy drinks, cookies and sometimes the carrot sticks that joshua brings him. gets asked by wonwoo if he's slept at all, answers with "red". can barely focus on the paper when he's in the actual exam bc he's so tired. is going to go back into hibernation once he's done the exam, couldn't care less about the result anymore

wonwoo:

he's a nerd, so he gets full marks. makes a three month study plan, ends up only following the first month of it and the last two weeks of it. randomly yells questions at junhui at various times during the day, gets increasingly more exasperated when the guy keeps getting the answers right. stays up the night before the exam playing games, blacks out during the test but still does rlly well

woozi:

he's studying for it, okay, just not as intensely as soonyoung or wonwoo. makes a study plan that's less intense than hoshi's (admittedly, that guy doesn't even have a plan, he's just stu-dying), manages to actually follow through with it. asks joshua to help him with some stuff, buys the elder chocolate after the exam when he does well

minghao:

meditates his way through it. nah, he's studying too. is more relaxed about it, believes that half of the exam is just knowing the right way to word stuff. you could learn half the content and pass with high marks. and tbh, he's right. uses almost exclusively flashcards, carries them everywhere to randomly test himself n others. goes to joshua and junhui to double check his info, makes sure that hoshi's supply of cookies is all stocked up

mingyu:

prays to the gods. he knows he's smart enough to do all this, but has the attention span of a ball of wool and none of it is Staying in his head. steals some of jeonghan's chocolate, cries in wonwoo's bed after he's done the exam saying that he failed it. is pleased when his test scores come back and he finds that he Didn't fail it at all. the little shit smh

dokyeom:

either passes really well, or just barely doesn't make the pass. is practically joshua's permanent student. part-time studying partner of hoshi, part-time breakdown partner of seungkwan. also steals jeonghan's chocolate before the exam. is the most positive when they get their test scores, bouncing around and hyping everyone up so they don't feel too worried

seungkwan:

has a mental breakdown four (4) times while studying. declares himself done with revising a total of six (6) times. his room is a mess of  papers and flashcards. followed the advice of people on the internet and bought a wall-covering whiteboard, which he's covered in red ink and his tears. has one last crying session with dokyeom in the corner of the living room the night before the exam. comes out of the hall saying how badly he messed up and makes the members feel so bad that mingyu buys him ice cream

vernon:

locks himself in his room, has his headphones on his head almost permanently. walks around the living room like he's never seen it before, stares blankly at all the members he encounters as if he's meeting them for the first time. no one knows what he's revising. or how he's revising. practically only comes out of his self-isolation the day of the exam, wishing everyone good luck before gliding out the door like some sort of spirit

chan:

is the one providing everyone with positive reinforcement even more than shua!! hypes everyone up, encouraging everyone to keep going. gives like 5 members shoulder massages every night. no one ever knows when he has time to revise by himself bc he's always sitting with someone and listening to them rant. does moderately well on his tests, is praised endlessly by his members bc they're so grateful for how much he helped them

currently taking requests

[favouritefi]

Original catboy Jopson x dogboy Tozer anon here. I have no idea if or how it could be plausible in Purror & Erebark lore but maybe...?

1. Hickey manipulates Tozer into attempting to seduce Jopson for ??? scheming reasons????

2. Tozer witnesses the fabled Jopson x Hickey dance and feels inadequate because his marines upbringing did not permit for such frivlous training as dancing and idk asks Jopson for dance lessons and then they smooch about it?

3. ???????????????

4. Anyway like you said to other anon I'm also down for Jopson giving Tozer the slap to punish his audacity.

anon if im correct you're a jopson x tozer shipper and im sorry to say there isnt a lot of that in this au bc of the jopzier predominance but they do have some moments together. for example out on the ice jopson was one of the best hunters and initially when crozier ordered that the marines bring jopson they grumbled about it bc no way a fancy shmancy siamese like jopson knows how to hunt like proper dogs do. so tozer paired himself up with jopson to "compensate" for jopsons supposed lack and quickly realized that jopsons a helluva shot and they ended up being the pair that brought back the most meat that day. then when dundy starts brewing his mutiny and planning to abandon the sick tozer objects on the grounds that jopsons one of the sick and hes one of their best hunters. also, because of tozers crush on little, jopsons almost like little's scary older brother that tozer needs to impress to get his blessing to court little. i think tozer might drunkenly kiss jopson on the cheek and jopson would daintily dab it away with a hankie but im not sure jops really has the heart to pursue anyone besides crozier in this au.

marines arent trained to dance but they do dance for fun. sort of like hootenanny style rowdy throwdowns that occasionally feature spontaneous dogpiles / wrestling. no waltzing or ballroom and such (which is what jops and hickey do). tozer, like hickey, sort of sees past all the artifice of upper class cat/dogboy living but, unlike hickey, isn't drawn to it as a fancy shiny thing to obtain for prestige and safety reasons. which makes it all the stranger for him to be part of jfj's (wealthy) household. dundy deffo had to teach him some etiquette and maybe taught him some dancing too, but he'll always prefer a marine dogboy party over a soiree and he'd rather be yelling and clapping and twirling heather around than trying to avoid stepping on dundys feet. i felt the need to clarify this because tozer is probably the only person in the main cast who doesnt actually want this upper class life. he'd be happy doing what blanky's doing: running a bar and making enough to care for the people he loves.

[serafiel-jacobs]

Catboy (Fanfic)

One shot 💛

Everyone that stays inside Hotel Krat knows Spring, she is a very friendly cat, although she wasn’t always friendly to Pinocchio but overtime their bond has grown, and grown extremely well, now Spring as soon as she hears the sound of the Stargazer, she rushes to meet him.

Pinocchio is a very quiet boy, he hasn’t spoken a word since he first awakened, but that’s okay for everyone, they love him for who he is.

Geppetto had just finished making adjustments to his son’s P organ and he was good as new, ready to go back outside.

“Son, remember to be a good boy while you are out there,” Geppetto said with a smile on his face.

“Meow” Pinocchio said, the first word he ever said.

Geppetto didn’t know what to say so he just stared in silence.

“Meow” This time, Pinocchio also moved his hand just like a cat would by flexing its paws. Geppetto recognizes that Spring tends to do that every time she is happy.

“Oh, are you saying you are happy?”

Pinocchio nods and he makes his way out to leave.

Geppetto is confused about what just happened but maybe if his son is confident enough to say that, he will be confident enough to say other words and start talking.

—-

Pinocchio keeps meowing at everyone much to their confusion.

They don’t really know how to react, they are happy that Pinocchio is being more open in a way but they don’t know what to make out of his strange behavior.

“Ah friend, did you come here to decipher another message?” Venigni was always happy to help Pinocchio.

“Meow meow” Pinocchio was smiling.

He helped the boy and when he was finished, Pinocchio grabbed Venigni’s arm hugging him… and rubbing his body and head in him just as cats do.

Venigni laughed, partly because it was funny, partly because it was awkward.

“If you need help with anything else, you can always come to me”

—

“Meow meow meow meow” Pinocchio didn’t stop meowing.

Sophia was quietly staring and listening to him. She had her usual composed face, but inside she was thinking about a lot of things.

Like what he was trying to tell her in the first place, it looks like he is making small talk with her but she doesn’t understand what this is about.

She nodded along as he meowed, and when he was done Pinocchio had a big smile on his face, happy that Sophia had listened to him, she could at least understand that.

“Oh there is no problem, I’m always here to talk if you need anything, take care clever one”

—-

Eugéne is helping Pinocchio upgrade one of his weapons, once she is done, she admires her work, she is happy about how far she has come.

Pinocchio had a huge smile on his face. He was so happy about the weapon and happy that Eugéne was happy.

And he began to purr.

Eugéne looked at Spring who was next to her and the cat moved her tail to indicate frustration and she turned around.

It looks like Spring doesn’t like it when Pinocchio meows at her, it makes sense, Spring is Eugéne’s pet but it feels so bizarre that her cat was briefly jealous of Pinocchio.

“Hope that helps! I can’t wait to see what other weapons I can help make for you”

—-

Antonia was in her wheelchair staring at her painting when a loud meow interrupted her thoughts, a long continuous meow, used to indicate that a cat wants something.

Pinocchio was standing next to her, he was pointing at the piano with his finger.

Antonia taught him how to play it before, and slowly he had been getting better, the melody began to unravel, and it was lovely. She enjoys the moments she spends with him, those moments when she can forget her current situation.

When Pinocchio is done, she claps a bit, and the boy looks ecstatic, he gets closer to her and for a second Antonia thinks that he is going to show his affection by giving her a kiss on the cheek.

But he licks her cheek instead.

Antonia let out a chuckle, that boy amuses her, still, maybe she should talk with his father about this. This certainly isn’t normal behavior for anyone to have, as cute as it might be.

“Don’t hesitate to come to me for another lesson, your skills have improved so much my dear boy”

—-

“PINOCCHIO DID YOU JUST HISS AT ME?!”

Everyone heard Geppetto shouting, Pinocchio ran out of the room and quickly ran downstairs, angry and frustrated, he activated the stargazer, ignoring his father who was following him to try and catch him.

Everyone saw the event unfold, Geppetto was angry but trying to compose himself.

“Geppetto may I have a word with you?” Antonia signaled to him to come to her side, both talking in private.

“What happened?”

“He wanted me to make him cat ears, I said no and he hissed at me” Geppetto rolled his eyes, “He is just throwing a tantrum”

“Geppetto I love Pinocchio a lot and I’m happy that he is expressing himself but maybe things are getting a little out of hand, I saw him using his legion arm to scratch one of the hotel couches” That boy was more cat than puppet or human at this point.

“It’s just a phase, I’m sure he will get over it and will finally start talking normally”

“Be honest with me, do you think this is a phase because Carlo had a phase like this when he was a child?” Antonia remembers when Carlo was small and started doing similar things.

“… Yes”

Antonia let out a sigh of frustration.

“Look Antonia I know that he isn’t Carlo”

She raised her eyebrow at that.

“But I’m serious that we shouldn’t be too concerned, look at him, he is happier and like I said, in no time he will start talking normally” Geppetto was so sure of himself.

—-

Pinocchio had come back again, he was very quiet. While outside, he encountered The Red Fox and Black Cat.

When he meowed, The Black Cat got extremely angry, he thought that he was mocking him and he shouted so many things at him, he also wanted to fight him right there and there.

But his sister stopped him.

“Brother calm down! He is just a weird puppet he doesn’t mean any harm!”

Pinocchio doesn’t like it when others call him just a puppet, it makes him upset. But at least they apologized, well, The Red Fox apologized and forced her brother to apologize as well.

In the end, everything was good, specially after giving them gold fruit coins.

Pinocchio went to greet his father, he waved his hand at him and gave him a hug.

“I’m happy to see you again son, where you a good boy?”

Pinocchio nodded his head and had a smile on his face, he started to make some gestures at his father to indicate something.

“Did you learn a new word?” Geppetto was so happy, he was right after all, “Come on say it, what new word did you learn?”

“Fuck”

[fkajohnlennon]

For the fic writers ask meme, could you let me know more about 6.) Paris is lovely this time of the year/ golden age

and/or

5.) catboy?! Pretty please!

Sooooo Golden Age is my golden age of cinema AU, where both John and Paul are actors during, you guessed it the 1930s-1940s. Can two Liverpudlian boys make it AND find love in Hollywood??

May 1937

The air of the party was warm and thick— the summer humidity compounded with the heat of bodies packed into the parlor like sardines in a tin. Overall, the affair had been an absolute drag to John, with only sips of his wormwood cocktail and his funny cigarette to tide him over. Next to him, some man was droning on and on about how there was going to be a war on ‘any day now’, and boy, wasn’t that just terrible? It did nothing for the mood of the party, one so drab it made the Hindenburg seem an awful good time.

“John!” a hand clapped John on the shoulder so abruptly, he nearly dropped his glass.

“Bloody Hell,” he yipped, feeling his eyebrows pinch together, “trying to make me shit meself, Stu?”

Stewart was the man behind him— a handsome lad who’d served as John’s confidant the past two years. They’d started as roommates in the Land of Angels, two blokes within the confines of Liverpool looking for their big break on the other side of the ocean. They’d barely met when they packed their bags and took a steamliner dead across, then hopping from train to train with one trunk between them until they made it to Hollywood.

Thankfully, they had a bit more than a trunk between them now.

A bit.

Stu was grinning like a madman when John whipped around, his arm wound around some choirboy-looking attendee who couldn’t be anything but a fan, the way his eyes shone with stars in the low light.

“John, this is Paul. He’s from Liverpool!” Stewart said with such gusto, John felt his stomach curl.

“Hello,” the boy, Paul, said in a voice so soft, saccharine—hell, posh—John could only grimace at the greeting.

“Scouse you say?” John asked, ignoring the interloper in front of him. “Sounds more like His Highness to me.” He took a deep drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke out into the boy’s face.

It would take more than that to unseat Stu once he got started on something, though. He rolled his eyes but kept his smile in place, ignoring the way Paul’s eyes narrowed from the sting of smoke. “Oh, come off it. Don’t blame the lad for knowing how to play the game. Paul, didn’t you say that you booked a gig just last week?”

John glared at Paul as the other man looked to meet his gaze. “Two, actually. Commercial, one is, but the other is a background actor for Sweethearts.”

“Oi, MGM,” Stu nodded while stealing John’s cigarette, “that’s a big’un. Fancy introducing me to the director?”

John ignored Stu, now much more focused on the haughty grin of the kid in front of him. “Right, I thought I’d seen you somewhere.” John waved his glass at Paul. “Catsup advertisement posted down at the pharmacy. Givin’ out free samples?” And John chuckled at his own wit. Because really, he knew it wasn’t Paul in the advertisement, but a bird who looked much the same— short pin curls and tarty eyelashes about three inches from her face.

[gluttonemporium]

Bad End: Seras' infiltration of enemy territory goes wrong in the most ridiculous way possible. Getting stuck in the oddly spacious vents thanks to her vampire fed curves is one thing. Getting detected because of the clapping of her barely-covered-at-all ass and the slapping of her boobs against her tummy is another.

But to be snagged by that German catboy and stuffed into his shorts like a toy for who-knows-how-long?! Immortality never looked so cruel than when she was jammed against the ass of a fat cat lad.

No, no, no, NO! This wasn't how this was supposed to go! This was supposed to be Seras's chance to show Hellsing that she could do her job just fine, even with the absurd curves she had gained! But now, here she was - getting a face, shoulders and chestful of boy booty...

For being such a good catch, Schrodinger miiiight be willing to forget he ever saw Seras. Not let her out, oh no!

Just... forgotten~

[the-spam-specialist]

THX FOR THE COOKIE! Also, apparently the glowy whisker/feathers/tails can grab falling objects subconsciously, so learning experience! Sweet! Split it with Kirby, it was really good!

-@extradimensional-catboy

Sam clapped his hands happily, thankful that yet another person wasn't mad at him for sending a cookie flying at them through a rift.

"I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Sorry if the cookie startled you."

[megamangxtheadventure]

MAGE CHRIONCLES CHAPTER 25 CIRNO VS POMU SOPRANO

cIRNO waked up in etrini where reisen was there with eiren "are you alright we cured you and removed all the nazi sciance from your body how feel you do" asked doctor eiren and cirno sitted up

"i feel better now but i am sad i used my power to hurt friends" cirno side

reisen took out a high tech weapon case with lunar industries written on it "you need to get the prismatic rain blade to...him" she said and cirno picked up the case.

"i'm the strongest i can do this considering it doned" she said and got moving.

location-illuminati base 5.23pm

arydin izumi had come in and ron Desanta was there too with bill ciper "i see you gassed the base again we are really running out of guys if we keep gassing the high councl" said arydin

rons fingers extended like big sausafge salad fingers as he scooped up pudding with them "they where weak we must remove the weak the illuminati must be strong" said ron as he sucked his fingers to get the pudding

argdin chuckled at Ron "you have learned to mimic humans better skin walker" he smile

"back to baduiness we need to keep control since sunak is gone i have ordered jk rowling to b ecome the new leader of fascist britian as for america putin has plans in mind but we must focus on the gorefield seals and our control over gensokyo and magic" arydin said

shadiversty was eating gravy with his fingers and wearing a crown "i am happy britian is embacing old values but a woman in power that is a step too far, if i had my way afhganstan is the perfect blueprint at least the talban know how to keep the woman folk in there place a perfect model for a christan monarchy america" he laughed

bill ciper floats "we have lost our fairy nazis but i found a new type of fae weaspon using something more ruthless and they will deal with cirno."

It was then the new illuminati man comed in "i am lord goat and our soul eraser program will help us create fae weapons using gangster dna this time insted of nazi"

everyone clapped.

location-peppino spegettis pizza place

Peppino and guastivo where serving customers when bad people comed in "oh no not the god damn mafia again" he sighed but there leader had blonde hair and a blue bow IT WAS POMU RAINPUFF the fae

"wait are you not that a vtuber fae" said brick

she punched brick hard into a wall "i am no longer that weakling they injected me with gangster dna and used the soul eraser program to make me strong I AM POMU SOPRANO NOW! head of the pomu crime family!" SHE SAID and slammed peppinos head against the oven "WHERES MY FUCKING MONEY PEPPINO!!!!!!"

two fakegees where behind her one being WEEGEE WALNUTS and the other bodyguard fakegee "oh a my god you are a working with the weegees too?!" gasped gustivo

Peppino in rage picked up a bench and benched pomu soprano on the head "quickly we must a run for sweet life" and the peppino pizza crew ran with fast

Pomu gotted up and machine gunned at them "WHEN I GET YOU I WILL HAND YOU OVER TO ANDREW TATE AND YOU';LL SUFFER LIKE CATBOY SANS?"

Weegee walnuts dropkicked gustavo and brick "you want to fuck with us then lets get nuts" weegee walnuts said

"i am going to take your fucking head clean off!" pomu shouted and reloaded the machine gun.

but then cirno came down and kicked her in the face and she was wearing her Advent Cirno PLUS outfit with the tusugi sword crystal.

"you?!?!?! YOU DARE HIT A MADE FAE! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! I WILL SHIT NUKES DOWN YOUR THROAT CIRNO FUCK YOU!" pomu fired the emtire machine gunned clip at her but cnrino flash stepped and cut the gun in half with tusugi

"i am the strongest fairy don't even weaste your time that soul eraser lord goat gived you is no power its just powered by hate" cirno said with smug

pomu got a crate and takened out a laser gatterling gun and opened fire as peppino and gus took cover "this is madness this is insaneity i cant take it" he said

cirno dodged and fired ice beams at pomu and thinked hard "i need to get the case to...him but i have to deal with pomu first" cirno thinked and spinned the blade

Cirno then focused her ice magic into the blade gutting the gatteling gun in half as it blowed up in pomus face knocking her and the two fakegees back as cirno rushed and got peppino and the others out.

after they escaped they stopped to rest "what is a happening why is pomu running the mob now?" asked peppino.

Cirno put the case down "they used the soul eraser on her and turned her into a ruthless gangster to act as an illuminati gang boss of the area but i have a plan i am to take this weapon case...to him"

peppio thumed up "then we will a help you we have a score to settle with these illuminati a bastard".

location-andrew tates bar and base

inside the base was arcade machines cigarettes alcohal and gambling as lots of kids where where being lured to corruption like the sheredder thing from the 90s turtles movie.

Andrew tate came in wearing a cape and armor "i am your father now and before, you comed to me loners and deprassed but i have gived you purpos as solders in my war as alpha males and now we will cast the weaknass, and fight a new world to build stong world with that i am proud to anouncing our new allies THE TALIBAN" saidandrew tape as men in terrorist armor and aks had come in "CAST ASIDE YOUR WEAKNESS AND PLEDGE YOUR LIVES TO THE TALBAN!" andrew laughed as the young boys bowed.

after the meeting andrew tape went to the top floor of his office looking over the city as he poured some whiskay and smiled "its all going to plan" but then he notced a man in a purple suit had com in "its you what do you want you are meant to be in section d right now" tate said.

"you do not care about the gorefield plan do you tate you only care about what you want you cared nothing for serving the darknass of higher powers but i am a true solder of evil thats why i am taking command of your sector" said william afton.

tate did the face "no no no you can't do this to me i'm an alpha male i'm based in recruited and radmailized these men! i'm based" he shouted

William afton kicked andrew tate and picked him up "no you are not based, I AM BASED!" wILLIAM afton shouted and threw andrew tate off the bulding to his demisse as he screamed " he then took the evil cape and the badge that said boss of the lost boys and put it on going into the bar and arcade

"andrew tate was too weak now i am your father and leader and we are going to gensokyo to put it under taliban rule" william afton laughed as the boys cheered but william had a more darker plan as he did not care for these people.

tb be contiunued

[elizabethrobertajones]

Who does fashion shows after a mall trip and who watches and compliments them?

Frog and G'raha!!!

Frog shopping for armour and weapons and modelling them with dramatic lance and staff waving that breaks the overhead lighting, while G'raha claps and cheers, I think :D

She does like dressing up but not nearly enough to drag anyone shopping with her... I like the idea that she buys G'raha stuff because after everyone thought he was as good as dead for three years they sold all his stuff, so he DOES need new outfits for pretty much any occasion except the stuff his adventuring outfit isn't out of place for. Meaning he is a high maintenance catboy for a while as he rebuilds a functional wardrobe. I think he'd do very adorable bashful little twirls to show off, and then hunkers down and rubs his ears in embarassment like that wasn't the cutest thing and she could watch him do it for hours :'D

[alienchamp]

Working in customer service during December makes me want to chew glass so I'm making everyone look at the catboy. everybody clap or I'm blowing up the fucking building

[mariamblogs]

@idekkamyyy @peepooworld @catmaskitties @wis-art @the-clapping-smiling-pig @khangi @lana-baumgartner @maxisreblogblog @professionalchaoticdumbass @fand0m-idi0t

@faacethefacts @butterfly-pumpkin

@noxthelights @twilightmagick

@princess-adronitis @yobirinn @fooligandan @brucewaynehomeforangrychildren

@mossandchaos @storyofair @highasynth

@8-evil-annoying-catboys @humanmorph @lesbianmaxevans @celadonwanderer

@polypharmaci @ikeberry @mallowfortheroad @seventhscorpio @sundung @singing-telegram @caffeineecold @pseudovillain @anneemay @punkitt-is-here @starspices @switchblades-and-apparitions

@certifiedsexed @helicopriorc @koobird @vamprismo @heretmorrowgonetoday @catt-crossing @majachee @beariemart @all-hell-break-loose @barafishtiddies

🚨HUMAN APPEAL 🚨🙏

Hello everyone , hope you are well .

We have run out of cooking gas a week ago, and the price of a gas cylinder is about 480 shekels (120 € ), also there’s no flour, it’s bag price is almost (150 €) , no salt - kilo of salt is almost (5€) - , no sugar - kilo of sugar is (9€) .

In addition there is my child’s needs:

-a pack of Pampers for 180 shekels (45€ ),

-3 cans of baby milk per month for 120 shekels (30€ ),

-warm clothes for the child about (100€ ),

-and a plastic cover for the tent to protect us from the rain costs about (200€ ),

I want to buy cleaning materials , such as :

-Bottle of shampoo 80 shekels ( 20€ ).

-2 Kilo of washing powder 140 shekels (36€ ).

-Bottle of dish- washing liquid 50 shekels ( 13€) .

****So i urgently need your help that I can go to the market and buy these very necessary supplies.

Note : Now , we are using fire for cooking and baking , and the price of a kilo of firewood is almost (2€ )

The flour we have , contains worms and weevils and is expired.

Thank you all, my friends. ❤️

Vetted by :

90-ghost here .

Gazavetters here .

@raccoon-in-a-hoodie @ezrazone @emathyst9 @wolfythewitch @queerdocumentary-blog @quecksilvereyes @anneemay-blog @angelslough @averagenotnormal @sleevesareforlosers @sinnamontrash @determinate-negation @dormimi-zzz @fuckyeahanarchistposters @gerbildine @generallyjl @good-old-gossip @heydreamchild @jezior0 @komsomolka @lesbianmaxevans @t-800terminator-blog @memewhore @cinematicjourney @freewatermelon0 @meshugenist @free-universe @free-your-mind @freepeople @gaxaly @gaza @gazanarchive @gazaboovintage @gofucktumblir @gofundmereach-blog @gofu @gofundmesharing @unreadable @factcheckdotorg @kidovna @usaproblems @irlandzkicukier @itlandscapes @helpfvl @hellprincess @heart @helpingg @dontrytoresurrect @doniabatata

[darkseraphscorner]

Croatoa.

Croatoa high.

Caroline held Alicia's hand as she lead her down the hall, school was out for the day, but Caroline insisted she stay around for something. "Why are we heading to the gym?" Alicia asked the red head.

Caroline looked over her shoulder. "Well dad told us what happened to you, so I figured you might need self defence classes, least till you get your security level higher."

Alicia tilted her head, she was horribly green when it came to combat, so maybe this might help?

Opening the door to the gymnasium, Caroline brought her in, seeing there where several mats set up with teens sparing, watching over them was the PE teacher Namoru Hayataki, standing in his green and black gi as he instructed the students.

Caroline waved. "Hai sensei, I brought a new student for you."

Namoru walked over and clapped his hands. "Welcome to my self defence course, how are you miss?"

Alicia looked around, feeling a little embarrassed to be here. "Good sir." She muttered.

Caroline elbowed her. "My cousin Alicia had a scary run in with the Hellions and I remembered you saying that you and mister Knight play Hellion soccer, so maybe you can help her?"

Namoru chuckles. "Been a while since we done that Caroline.... But we can see what we can do. So miss Alicia, what is your combat experience?"

Alicia swallowed. "I er... Know some basics?"

Namoru nodded. "How about we try some light sparing? Nothing serious, just get a gauge of your skills.... Seiji, come over here boy."

A teenage catboy with green hair that looked sort of like Namoru stepped up. "What's up pops?"

"I want you to spar with Alicia here, get a feel of her skills, Alicia, this is my son and star pupil Seiji.... He will go easy on you if he knows what's good for him."

Kicking off her shoes and socks, Alicia stepped onto the mat and took up a loose stance, fire crackling across her skin as she summoned her flame shield.

Seiji stood across from her, taking up his own stance as he waited for her. With a breath Alicia woved her hands in a pattern as she stepped forward and lashed out, only for the catboy to catch the blow on his forearm, step inside her defence and wrap his leg around hers, tripping her up.

Alicia breaths out flames as she got to her feet, Namoru rubbing his chin. "Combat casting, Seiji does something similar with Chi, hand movements to focused the energy before striking..... Try again?"

Alicia took up her pose, weaving her hands again as she focused her mana and striked, only for the cat boy to deflect and trip her up again.

"You can do this!" Caroline cheered from the side line, Alicia just felt her cheeks burn, the cat boy was making it look so easy, how was this meant to help her?

Namoru stepped up and gently took Alicia's hands. "Try this." He offers, repositioning her. "Let it flow through you, don't fight it, be like water." He says before stepping back.

Alicia takes a deep breath as she tried again, stepping forward, her first blow was deflected, but she managed to get a second blow, smacking Seiji square in the nose with a squirt of blood.

"Oh my god I am so sorry!" Alicia said, bringing her hands to her mouth as Seiji takes a step back, pinching his nose to slow the bleed. The cat boy waving a hand.

"My fault for getting cocky." He said. "Dad tells me to not let my skill get to my head."

Namoru pats his son's back. "The nurse should still be in her office, see her about that nose." As Seiji headed off, Namoru turned to Alicia. "Not bad for a beginner, I can see you going far with the proper training... How about it?"

Alicia looks to Caroline, giving her the thumbs up before turning back. "I would like that very much mister Hayataki."