#civilians don't get lazurus pits or chaos shards or faked deaths

[lorena12me]

OMFG THIS, THIS OPENS A THOUSAND POSSIBILITIES FOR ANGUISH.

I think Tim and Bernard would also have problems because Tim is a vigilante like Steph and that kind of "mistakes" that cost lives is something he has to deal with and that's why it's so easy for him to overlook that she was "erred"

Which would lead to a much bigger discussion about what Batfam is doing in Gotham and how they've stopped seeing the people they protect as, you know, people. and have begun to see them as numbers or statistics. As if the tragedy at Bernard and Tim's school produced "467 casualties" and not 467 child deaths.

I think Bernard would also tell Steph to go to the parents, friends and relatives of all those children to tell them that the death of their loved ones was a "mistake" to see what they would say, if they would see it that way, as she sees it , like it's something she can get out of by saying "ooops."

I mean, I love fics where Steph is best friends with Tim and Bernard but this, this is glorious!

god i love steph but like i do need to know bernard’s reaction when he learns that steph started the gang war. the gang war that killed darla. 

[introspectivememories]

i’m so sorry but i cannot stop thinking about this and i cannot have another wip so here’s like what’s been rattling around in my head for the last 24 hrs

so if i was writing this it would be from a general outsiders pov. smth smth about how i think people expressing different emotions is endlessly fascinating 

okay so it comes out not as a big thing but like everyone’s at the manor, tim and bear snuggled into each other on the couch, and all the kids are talking about their time as robin

and when it gets to steph and tim’s turn, they don’t explicitly say it but bear’s smart, he can put the pieces together.

he doesn’t notice how still he’s gotten until he realizes tim’s been calling out his name

“-ar? -ear? bear!” / “tim?” / tim’s concerned face blocks out everyone else. the room has gone silent, everyone staring at bernard.

“hey, you okay bear? you zoned out on me.” 

“steph,” bernard says, voice barely over a whisper. his eyes are full of unshed tears. he looks at her like she betrayed him and try as she might, she doesn’t understand why he’s looking at her like that.

“steph,” he repeats again, “you started the gang war? the one that killed darla?”

everyone else goes stock still. tim exhales like he’s been punched in the stomach, “fuck.”

that seems to be all the confirmation bernard needs because turns over to tim next.

“did you know?” / tim doesn’t respond. / bernard laughs and it’s ugly. all broken and grief-tinged. / “fuck me. tim you knew, didn’t you? you fuckin’ knew! and you introduced me to her?”

“bear please-” / “no! no. i can’t believe you.” / bernard stands up and gathers his things. not making eye contact with anyone he mutters, “i- i have to go.”

tim rushes after him, “bear wait!” / the halls echo. “look tim, i’ll see you at home. have fun with your family, okay?”

tim comes back to the living room, fists clenched at his side, “fuck. fuck!”

dick jumps up to comfort tim, “hey, hey. i’m sure bernard will understand. he’ll forgive you.”

“you don’t get it dick. darla was... god i don’t even know how to explain it, but he’s not gonna forgive steph.”

and tim disappears into his room.

anyway he goes home, and it leads to one of the biggest fights tim and bernard ever had.

“i can’t believe you knew and you didn’t fucking tell me! how could you?”

“she means a lot to me. i didn’t want you to hate her right off the bat.” 

“so i’m just supposed to forgive her?” / “no! just-” / “’just’ what? ‘just’ what tim?”

“she was a kid!” / “so was darla!”

bear returns to the manor and he says nothing. tim and him are okay, bernard acts like his usual self around the family. everyone thinks he’s made peace with it.

but if you look closely, bernard acts like his usual self with everyone but steph. he’s ever so slightly colder to her.

he doesn’t respond to her texts as quickly anymore. their talks are more clipped than usual. basically he’s pulling away.

and this goes on for a While. like by the time steph catches on, everyone has known for a while and they’re just not saying anything 

finally steph corners bear one day after patrol. / “steph, steph” tim says, trying to stop her, “c’mon don’t do this. not right now.”

“what is your problem?! you don’t answer my texts, you barely even talk to me. what the hell did i do?”

bernard scoffs, “you think you’d get the hint. maybe i don’t want to be friends with the person who got darla killed.”

“is that what this is about? god, bernard, i’m sorry okay! i was a child, i didn’t mean for the situation to get so out of hand. it was a mistake!”

“a mistake?” bernard says, voice like ice, “a mistake is writing down the wrong answer on a math test. a mistake is forgetting your third layer in the gotham winter time. a mistake is not starting a gang war cause you had some insane need to prove yourself!”

“my best friend is dead because of you. was she a mistake?”

“i-”

“do you know how many people died that day? do you even realize the sheer tragedy of what happened?”

“there were about 3,000 students at Louis, 467 of them died. that’s almost 14% of our school! everyone knew someone who had died.”

“and coming back was like walking into a graveyard. ghosts around every corner.”

“so don’t talk about it being a mistake. not when we spent the rest of that year and every year after it trying to outrun our ghosts.”

“elisa peck, sophmore, watched her boyfriend take a bullet to the head. amaan taylor was on the football team, senior, had dreams of going pro. took a stray bullet to the knee, ruined any chance of him playing football again.”

“billie barrett, oskar ingram, april duffy! all these kids could’ve lived but they bled out waiting for medical help.”

“iilya mikhailov was 14, a freshman. had asked me where mrs. ajam’s class was on the first day of school. i had to step over his dead body to exit the school when help finally arrived. so don’t talk to me about it being a mistake, steph.”

“so no, steph, i can’t forgive you. not when i watched the life slip out of darla’s eyes. not when i had to sit there, covered in her blood, and desperately try to reassure her that she was going to be okay. not when i had to sit there and tell her about how we were gonna go to the beach that weekend and all the other plans we made that she was never gonna get to do!”

“not when i had to pry nirmal’s fingers off his classmate and then hold him as he broke down.”

“not when batman came and i knew it was too late for darla. not when they proclaimed her dead in the back of some ambulance. not when i went home and had to scrub my best friend’s blood off my body.”

“and newsflash steph, we’re not heroes. we don’t get second chances okay? civilians get one chance at life. april duffy isn’t coming back because i punched thriugh dimensions. darla isn’t lost in the time stream. she isn’t in africa recuperating. darla is dead and i have to live with that everyday.”

“my best friend is dead because of something you started. so no, i can’t forgive you. no i don’t want to forgive you.  i don’t want to be your friend. i want anything to do with you. but you mean a lot to tim, so you mean something to me as well. so i’m doing the best i can to coexist with you.”

bernard’s eyes are tired and exhausted, tears still dripping steadily down his face. 

“let’s just coexist okay? we don’t have to talk. we don’t have to be friends. we just exist next to each other.

it’s tim who breaks the standstill first. steppimg in between them, tim reaches out to cup bernards face. / “hey, hey,” he whispers softly, “let’s move somewhere else okay. let’s get you somewhere safer.” / and he whisks him away to library.

god i love steph but like i do need to know bernard’s reaction when he learns that steph started the gang war. the gang war that killed darla.