#choosing to starve to death is not allowed. you have to pick one

[astrow1zar6]

Astrology Observations- 50

Jupiter in the 8th house can be a really hard placement to have in the natal chart. Whatever Jupiter touches it expands so when in the 8th house that rules death, sex, rebirth, transformation ect all these are major components of your life. Could have a really intense life and go thru a lot of struggle young. I see a lot of people with this placement experience death at a very young age. Your blessings however come when you push through those dark and you come out so much stronger. Extremely emotional intelligent.

Venus in Scorpio is a common placement to see in exotic dancers

Scorpio risings I notice rarely delete photos on social media or in general. They are usually the people that keep up photos for years. Even if they have pictures with people they don’t interact with anymore (such as an ex). Very hard for these people to let go of the past.

Aquarius’s suns will either come off as one of the friendliest easygoing people you ever met or really stand offish and mean mugged.. no in between

Underdeveloped Virgo moons tend to pick on people a lot. They can try to highlight your insecurities on purpose. If not evolved they can have big mean girl energy.

The people I meet that I see usually have really long healthy relationships are Taurus suns and Cancer suns. (Especially when together!)

Gemini mars people are super impulsive. They require a lot of mental stimulation so the riskier the more exciting for them usually.

A lot of Gemini moons get famous for just recording themselves talking. A lot of influencers have a Gemini moon. You usually have a lot of things to say and are amazing at keeping up conversations which makes you very entertaining to listen to/watch. They communicate best when they just allow themselves to talk spontaneously without planning out what to say.

An Unevolved Pisces Mars is genuinely so scary! They can be so good at emotional manipulation. They are skilled in making others blame themselves for their mistakes. Big mastermind energy.

Pisces Mars I notice also really hate confrontation. They have a harder time speaking/standing up for themselves a lot. I feel like these people are the least likely to start/be in a physical altercation out of all the mars signs.

Mars in Aries/1st house people tend to be naturally toned/ athletic looking. Even if they don’t really work out that much they always look super cut for no reason.

Cancer and Sagittarius placements tend to put on weight very easily

Capricorn risings/Venus could’ve been told to eat more or that they look starved. A lot of people with this placement I notice tend to be very petite/boney naturally. The types that can eat all day and not gain a pound.

Pisces Venus men are either fairytale like romantic or they are extremely bare minimum and romantically clueless.

Aqua Venus’s hate people who are too clingy too soon. They will ghost you so fast. If you want to attract them just act nonchalant they won’t admit it by they are really into people who don’t express much interest.

Sag Venus’s are very experimental in love the types to try throuple or be swingers. I also notice the men are more into 🍒 than 🍑

I’ve seen a lot of Aqua moons be big in the closet gays (my experience not all Aqua moons ofc)

Taurus mars/venus take a really long time to decide if they want a relationship with you they will put it off for so long until they are completely sure. This can be extremely annoying to more fast paced types. They tend to wait too long to the point they miss their opportunity to be with the person they really wanna be with:( but once they become sure they’re in it for the longest haul. Will be the most loyal partner.

Scorpio moons are very easily embarrassed especially when it comes to how they feel. They tend to take things very personally due to their sensitivity which is why most choose not to open up.

Unevolved Libra moons are the type to sleep with their best friend’s boyfriend or try to flirt with them. (Example ; Alabama Barker)

Uranus in the 5th house natives have such a quirky sense of humor. They tend to usually be hilarious and have people cracking up. The most random shit comes out of their mouths. You never know what they’re going to say 😂

Virgo risings hate being late to things. The types to come 10 minutes early to work. They also tend to get anxious when their environment is a mess I notice.

A lot of Lilith in Pisces men tend to have a foot fetish. Lilith ruling kinks & Pisces ruling the feet. They also tend to like fat on a woman or like their women to be more plump and curvy over petite.

Libra placements have a big emphasis on their teeth/smile. Could have big teeth that stand out or an amazing smile.

Gemini placements tend to be amazing singers and have good pitch naturally (especially if you have a lot of second house placements).

Sorry for being MIA for awhile had to take some time to myself to deal with my mental health but I’m going to continue posting more since I’ve been feeling a lot better🫶🏽🥹🩵

[geminiagentgreen]

I'm a Christian.

But a bad one.

I'm Autistic and very private.

But no one ever respects me. I'm not allowed my own room because I'm untrustworthy. I don't have the attention span to read the Bible properly, Worship music always sounds gross and unnatural, or any that actually sounds gross has lyrics that make me guilty.

Because why can't I believe like that? Why can't I surrender everything? Why can't I forgive? Why can't I let go?

How do I deal with my faith in a household that claims to be faithful but never reaches further than Sunday mornings? How do I deal with my faith in a Church that chooses hollow songs and where people focus more on Fun than God?

When honesty will be the death of me, and I don't know what to do, How do I still choose God?

-🥀

P.S. Sorry this went too far... Idk, I'm trying to figure everything out and it's a lot. I don't mean to vent if I accidentally go too long or too deep...

My condolences, thats incredibly rough to all have to deal with, but I wouldn't say that makes you a bad Christian. That you even care to consider yourself one in light of all of this tells me you are a frustrated Christian.

I'm sorry you aren't getting the respect you should be; you are not only made in His image, but you're family ought to be the ones giving you that respect before anyone else, especially with regards to your own room.

As for reading the bible, I know a lot of christians these days have an issue making am actually habit out of reading it - and our excuses are pitiful by comparison! I've found that what helps me is to find pastors and teachers, especially teachers, who will read and get into scripture while I'm doing something else, like driving or gaming. That said, it does us good to at least get a little reading in, and I would recommend this exercise:

- Pick a topic. Find something to research, like say "sin", "acceptance", and search up what the bible has to say about it. And your research into this doesn't have to be all that long either; even just a sentence at first is a good place to start if the lack of attention is that serious, and overtime the reading goes up to two sentences, half a paragraph, one chapter, etc.

As for worship music, I'd have to hear what you've been listening to to really get a complete picture, but for worship music I have this to say:

- hymns are wonderful, and can often be something of sermons themselves. Amazing Grace, Be Thou My Vision, It Is Well With My Soul - for example - each have something to say about who God is, what Jesus has done, and what the Holy Spirit does.

That guilt you're feeling over not believing like that is only going to be so useful; no one has perfect faith, no one has perfect practice of the christian life, and no one will until we are with Christ in the end. You are not alone. What guilt you feel over your relationship with Christ can only be resolved by Christ, truly; have peace in the fact that it's Jesus who saves us, not us and our efforts, so freely give your burdens to Him to deal with - He cares for you, He'll fight for you, He'll make you anew.

As for dealing with your faith, you're doing a great job of it right now; that you are concerned like tells me that you want more. Frankly, your closing remarks really feel like you have the answer there all along! When faithfulness doesn't extend past Sunday, when the worship feels hollow, and the church wants more fun than focus on God, you've got yourself a starving faith, but not a neglected faith. When honesty will be the death of you, remember that it's not this world that is the Christian's goal, and that the Lord rewards and looks after his who go through much - even if nothing comes of it in this vapor of a life we have. You choose God because you know He's the right choice, the only choice, and the best choice. He loves you 💚

P.S: no need to apologize, I only pray that I was helpful to you! And sorry for the late reply!

[thebookdragonshoard]

alright, y’all. i just finished The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and it’s time to discuss this fig tree analogy.

buckle up cause we’re gonna be properly capitalizing. it’s that serious.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Fig Tree analogy, let me quote it for you, so you can feel the pain I felt the first time and for contextual purposes.

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was and Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black and plopped to the ground before me.” - The Bell Jar, chapter 7

First of all, uhm OW SYLVIA?! I did not need to be called out like that right before bed, but here we are anyway.

Basically, if you don’t get it (and it’s perfectly okay if you don’t!!), Esther (the main character) likens the different paths in life available to her as figs on the branches of a fig tree she sits in. However, she doesn’t know which life to pick (i.e. which fig to eat) because, to her, picking one life means losing access to all the others. And because she finds herself unable to choose one life, they all start withering away before her as time goes on until there are no lives left to pick from, symbolized by all the figs blackening and falling to the ground.

And while this is already a beautiful and profound analogy, humor me by allowing me to take it a little further by looking at it from a different perspective.

What about gluttony???

Hear me out, folks. Imagine that Esther, instead of being paralyzed by indecision, instead tries to take a bite from every fig on the tree, therefore trying to live every life available to her? If she can’t choose just one, why not choose all of them?

But, as she’s trying to live all of these different lives and taste all of these figs, she only has the time to take a bite or two from each fig, leaving them half-eaten around her. She can only enjoy small portions of each life available to her, unable to sit back and fully enjoy the sweetness that life can offer her.

And so, as she tries to live all of these different lives and taste each of the figs, by the time she manages to taste each fig, they’ve all begun to rot anyways. But now, instead of just falling to the ground beneath her and rotting away, they’re rotting away in her hands and all around her. And now she’s suffocating under the sickly sweet stench of their decay. The sickly sweetness of all the lives she tried to live, how she only manage to enjoy a portion of each of them. And at the time, it was fun and she was enjoying living this way. But now, she’s suffocating under the weight of these nice, sweet lives she lived that are now taking their toll on her because we as humans are not meant to do so much at once.

And because she was gluttonous and greedy, she is now too full from all the bites of fig she consumed, consequently giving her a stomach ache from overconsumption. And so, the body’s natural reaction is to get rid of the extra in some way.

By choosing all of the figs, she consequently still ends up choosing none of the figs because they now all rot around her and her body cannot keep them down, leaving her with no figs whatsoever instead of the one she could have had if she had found a way to make a single choice.

Does this make sense?? I hope it does. All I know is I came up with this last night, texted it to my book bestie, and then she was Unwell the rest of the night.

[whumpsmith-participates]

Day 8 - Immortality

CW: vampire whumper, vampire whumpee, slavery, tragedy, minor character death

There used to be forty of us. We used to laugh and cry together. We lived together, as brothers, one big family.

A big family knows many riches, but on the flip side that also means many losses. Two of us were lost at sea, I used to think it was a cruel fate, but now I realise they were blessed.

We lost another just a day after landing ashore. He was the most blessed, for he got to see the beautiful landscape before he passed, and we could depart from him with the proper rituals and return him to the earth.

But the rest of us?

We were cursed.

Cursed to slowly wither away, like the decaying manor around us. Cursed to watch the ivy overtake the walls and the roof, being able to do only so much to bring it to a halt. Cursed by a perpetual sickness that seemed to affect our memories, until the dwindling numbers were too glaringly obvious to ignore.

There were five and twenty of us left.

When I doomed them all.

...

"You chose this, Ian. Now stop crying."

I blink the last tears from my eyes and wipe them away as I steel myself. The motion smudging the blood around my mouth across my cheek.

Did I choose this?

I look back down at the lifeless form of my last brother, André, a fearful expression still on his face, as if a ghost inhabits the corpse to haunt me.

He was the last of five. The last five of which we both knew wouldn't be sufficient to sustain us. Master wanted to feast on them, to fill up properly and "get it over with" — I begged him not to.

I realise now the mercy Master was offering, which I foolishly declined. A swift, painless end, surrounded by their last remaining loved ones. But instead I begged to prolong their suffering. To lose them slowly, one by one, until there were none left.

And I was still hungry.

Master is right. This was my choice. Just as it was my choice to serve him for eternity, when there was only five and twenty of us left — four and twenty once I was no longer one of them. I should have known, even with what little information I had, that it would never work. But I was so desperate to serve Master...

"Get rid of it."

"Yes Master..."

I resign myself to the order, not like I have much of a choice. I gently pick up André's lifeless body, cradling his frail form. His blood is still warm, soaking into my clothes, and it still smells edible. The nagging hunger in my stomach becomes painful, and I almost consider taking a last bite...

"Don't do that."

I stop myself. I have no choice. Master is giving me a disapproving look. I know why. He doesn't have to spell it out for once. If he isn't able to eat, then I'm not allowed to either. Especially not after I killed our last source.

My last brother...

I take André to the forest behind the manor. There are indents in the dirt between the roots of the trees where I have dug four graves in the last two weeks.

In order for Master to have enough to eat without immediately killing my brothers, I starved myself. But a starving monster stops at nothing to feed, so one by one, they each met a terrifying fate. Slaughtered by my hands...

The dirt sticks to my clothes where André's blood had seeped in. It doesn't smell so appetising anymore. Whilst I dig, I think of the brothers I buried before him. Some I remember as if it were only yesterday, others I can barely recall the name.

When Master offered eternity, I never considered that would mean that I would outlive all my brothers. Only now, as I gently lay André to rest and fail to remember the proper prayer, the reality of what I've chosen hits me.

No matter who I may meet in the future...

It will always end like this.

With them in the dirt, and I unchanged. Forever a monster. Cursed to walk the earth until the end of time.

I can feel a lump forming in my throat, as if I'm about to cry, but on the surface nothing happens. Because Master told me not to cry.

And Master’s all I have left, for the remainder of eternity, so I better obey, even when I don't have a choice.

I take a last look around the area. At fresher and older graves, all unmarked, most not even visible anymore. I look back down at André and begin to shovel the dirt back into the hole I dug for him. Trying to bury this chapter of my life with him.

The first chapter of what's going to be a very long series of events.

@whumpay

Masterlist Main account

Meow meow hour again

[adamwatchesmovies]

Dune (2021)

Even upon a rewatch, 2021’s Dune: Part One is spectacular. The memorable, foreboding score by Hans Zimmer, the costumes that bring this world to life, the scale of the action and the unique sets, ship & weapon designs all come together to complement a story of mythical scale. After seeing this film, two thoughts start competing for your brain’s attention. 1) If Frank Herbert’s Dune was adapted this successfully, then no work is unfilmable and 2) the sequel can’t come soon enough.

In 10191, the universe is ruled by an Emperor who assigns the exploitation of planets to powerful ruling houses. Interstellar travel is possible through “spice” a substance found exclusively on the harsh desert planet of Arrakis. For 80 years, Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård) and his house have overseen the harvest of spice. Now, Duke Leto I (Oscar Isaac) of House Atreides is the new steward of Arrakis but only for as long as the flow of spice continues. This shift puts House Atreides, particularly the Duke’s son, Paul (Timothy Chalamet), in danger.

At 155 minutes, you’d think this movie would feel long, but it doesn’t. One of the reasons is that there’s a lot within to keep your mind busy. What’s a Freman? What’s a Kwisatz Haderach? What’s “the voice”? If director Denis Villeneuve tried to cram this story into 90, or even 120 minutes, it would move so quickly that all these questions would leave you in the dusty sands of Arrakis (that’s the planet, right?). By taking its time while moving at a good pace the film allows you - in time - to answer all of your questions. Since you understand what’s happening, you’re engaged. It helps that if you can’t remember what each name means, the visuals pick up the ball. The grotesque, scheming Baron Vladimir Harkonnen is clearly a villain. It's particularly obvious once you see his nephew, the psychotic and childish Glossu Rabban (Dave Bautista). You know you can’t trust the Bene Gesserit because their leader, Reverend Mother Mohiam (Charlotte Rampling) makes Paul take a painful, life-threatening test to prove he isn’t a threat himself. These are only a few of the many examples I could choose and they show how the story is both complex and easily digestible.

Even without the gripping story filled with backstabbings, political intrigue, violence, quests for revenge and harrowing struggles for survival, Dune would still have you tightly in its grip. Throughout, Paul’s psychic abilities give him visions. They foretell the future… sort of. They give hints of what’s coming but hints are not the same as clear answers. These all tie to this planet he’s on; a world that doesn’t end where the screen does. The details in the dialogue, sets and costumes make you wish the Harkonnens would just chill, and save their grudge for later. This way, you’d have time to see House Atreides befriend the Fremen and familiarize themselves with their customs.

There’s so much happening in this film that some of it you won’t “get” until later. For example, the early assassination attempt on Paul’s life. The would-be killer? A Harkonnen cutthroat, hidden in a bedroom wall. What kind of wealth, power and/or terrifying influence could persuade someone to take on that sort of assignment, knowing they would have to wait in darkness for weeks, slowly starving to death, just to kill a boy?

The passion within Dune is as clear as its ambition. You’re only getting half of a movie with it, but this choice feels like a necessity, rather than a Breaking Dawn-type of cash-grab or an attempt to start another franchise for a money-hungry studio. It certainly doesn’t feel presumptuous. Everything we see feels important; like it’s building up to not just one, but many bigger character arcs in a world that contains hundreds of stories. You know the threads that are left hanging will be tied up - that’s the kind of confidence all of the artists at work instill in you. Dune/Dune: Part One is a film that’s going to be remembered. (March 1, 2024)

[myddle]

How Would Vampires Work In The Undertale Universe?

This is something I've wondered about ever since I saw Dalv in Undertale Yellow, although it's a question the fangame doesn't answer itself (which is fine, it wasn't trying to), so watch me just freeball on this question for a few paragraphs if you're interested.

Content Warning: Long Post, Opinions, Fictional Bigotry

Part 1: Biology

Now, as a mythical creature, the rules for vampires are pretty malleable, so we can pick and choose whatever best fits Undertale's setting and vibe, but generally vampires are monsters that hide among humans and parasitically feed on them, whether out of neccessity or for power, and can turn humans into vampires with a bite. Very different from your standard UT monster. In what scenario would a vampire deal with hiding when they can just steal a human SOUL for power?

Well, that depends on a few details regarding how this all works. Firstly: how manageable a monster with a Human SOUL actually is. Asriel's transformation implies it's fairly easy to spot, and while they are described as having unfathomable power, a village of humans brought Asriel to the brink of death (he wasn't fighting back, but whatever), so a vampire could get immedately ganked if they tried it. It's a thin tightrope though, as 7 SOULs apparently allows you to be invincible and control reality (unless Asriel was exaggerating, and Mr. Deletes-your-save-file-but-not-really definitely does that sometimes).

Second issue: would vampires even count as monsters with all these human-unique interactions? Answer: unclear, but probably. We can just drop the human-turning aspect in an UT implementation if we have to, and turning into dust on death is already something that vampires do, so they'd fit in just fine in that regard. The typical power level of vampires is a bit above most UT monsters other than Boss Monsters, but there is one variation that fits our purposes; vampires that only become powerful after feeding on humans, and are fairly weak otherwise. This helps them fit in with the rest of monsterkind while letting them keep their potential power, and also dodges the issue of vampires sealed under Mt. Ebott just starving to death immediately.

Part 2: Culture

Alrighty! With all that bullshit out of the way, we can get onto the baseless headcanons I actually care about; the question of how vampires would interact with Undertale's world, and it's themes of descrimination.

The big point I'm circling is this: Vampires are monsters that look like humans. A lot of UT monsters are at least somewhat humanoid, but a vampire is just a pale guy with fangs. The only other monster types that even come close are werewolves - only sometimes looking the part (and also notably absent from UT) - and skeletons - Sans & Papyrus are clearly human skeletons, but also clearly skeletons without any human on them, so that doesn't work. In contrast to most other monsters, vampires could feasibly hide in plain sight in human society, and therefore, could be outside the Underground when the Barrier was formed.

Just think about that for a moment. Monsters outside their prison, able to blend into the world of their jailors. What would they do with themselves? Would they simply play along, hiding among humans and living quiet lives? Would they take advantage, utilising the psychological powers vampires often have to gain wealth and status? Would they stay loyal to the Kingdom of Monsters, and form a resistance to try and break the Barrier from the outside? Would they walk away entirely, living out in the wilderness away from any civilisation? A mix of all of these and more, differing between each individual? The possibilities are colossal in scope.

Of course, not all Vampires would have this position. Some would undoubtably be caught in the initial war and imprisoned with the rest of monsterkind, or caught later on and simply pushed in (remember, anything can enter the Barrier, it only stops leaving). These vampires might just live the same as the rest of monsterkind - peacefully but struggling - but I have a darker yet darker thought. Hold on to something, this gets a bit heavy.

Part 3: Batthew the Vampire

Let me set the scene. The royal children have died. The humans have once again taken everything from monsterkind. King Asgore has declared war on Humanity to unify his people. Anti-Human sentiment is through the roof right now.

You have a vampire neighbor. Let's call him Batthew. You haven't seen him outside as much since the news dropped, and when you do, you see other monsters giving him dirty looks.

Monsters know what humans look like at this point in the timeline. Some of them probably met Chara. Their new source of hope, the war, has filled them with hatred for humanity, but they have no outlet for it. Batthew isn't a human. But he looks like one. And bigotry makes people do stupid things, because bigotry is inherently pretty stupid, lets be honest.

One day, Batthew's house has a broken window. A few days later, it has a "FOR SALE" sign out front. You don't know where Batthew went. Maybe he moved to some other corner of the caverns. You've heard rumors of the RUINS of the former Capital, maybe he found a way in there. Maybe he "fell down".

You no longer have a vampire neighbor.

[alaea-winters]

I hate. I HATE. I HATE SO MUCH. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE. HATE. I HATE. I HATE. I HATE. I HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. MY LIFE IS NOTHING. THIS IS NOTHING. EVERYTHING IS NOTHING. EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS. EVERYTHING THAT I COULD HAVE POSSIBLY LOVED IS BEING SYSTEMATICALLY REMOVED BY A SYSTEM THAT I HATE.

(CW, everything past this point is basically a giant political vent)

I hate. I was born to help people. We as a species were made to help each other. We were made to be communal. None of the suffering we endure in this current moment is necessary. It is all constructed. IT IS STUPID. ALL OF IT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY STUPID. NONE OF IT IS NECESSARY. WE HAVE ENOUGH FOOD. WE HAVE ENOUGH WATER. WE CAN TREAT ALMOST ANY ILLNESS. But no. People must starve in spite of there being enough food, massive piles of food left to rot and waste because the people that can afford it don’t want it and the people that need it have no money. This is regarded as normal. THIS IS REGARDED AS NORMAL. I HATE THIS. THERE IS NO MONUMENTAL TASK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO END WORLD HUNGER. WE HAVE THE FOOD. WE JUST NEED TO ALLOW THEM TO TAKE IT. TO ALLOW US TO TAKE IT. WHAT POSSIBLE REASON IS THERE TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO STARVE TO DEATH? WHAT MAKES THIS WORTH IT? WHY ARE WE SO WILLING TO EXCHANGE HUMAN LIVES FOR SACRIFICES THAT THEY DONT WANT TO MAKE. We are asked to sacrifice everything, our time, our energy, even the yield of our work. I WANT TO WORK YOU FUCKING NIXON COCK SUCKING FUCKS. I WANT TO HELP THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. I WANT TO BE A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY. But my job is to stand there at a register and scan items. I am to make sure that every item someone gives me is scanned so that the store knows how much money to charge the person before they leave. In theory, this is a harmless system. In practice? WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO GO THROUGH SO MANY GODDAM HOOPS TO GET A STOOL? WHY IS IT NOT FAIR IF I GET A STOOL? WHY NOT GIVE EVERYONE A STOOL? PLEASE LET PEOPLE TAKE A FUCKING STOOL WITH THEM. IT HURTS NO ONE. That job was years ago by this point. I got fired from it just before the beginning of covid. THANK YOU? THANK EMPLOYEES FOR THEIR NOBLE SACRIFICE OF WORKING DURING THE OUTBREAK OF A MAJOR DISEASE? NO ONE HAD TO WORK THERE. THE STORE COULD HAVE EASILY DOWNSCALED ITS OPERATIONS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa.

If you had to choose between a country and your son, which would you pick? Would you be willing to let your son be instantly eviscerated for the sake of the country? Would you willingly break your vow to protect him at all costs, even for your own life? For a country? I wouldn’t. I would let that country fucking burn. I want all countries to burn. Too large. Individual humans own too much and wish to lorde over everything. To go against being a communal species and just be alone at the top, at which point they no longer are human.

But getting back to the point, most people I know would pick their son. You would do everything for them. And that is something I admire in humans. In spite of the sheer cruelty of the world, they can still show love and compassion for their fellow man. And yet, in spite of the fact that any one of us would likely let a country burn than give up their son, we are so willing to let thousands of people get bombed. I hate Israel. I will not apologize for hating Israel. It is a colonial power thats NOT choosing between living and killing. No. It is ethnically cleaning a region within itself and calling it a struggle for survival. They are hitler once again, targeting and exterminating the Jew and calling it a war because they fight back. Israel blatantly lies about what is happening inside Gaza, why? Why would it need to obscure the truth? Mistranslating freed captives, the false reports, the cherry picking. Even if most of what Israel said about Hamas was true, which it is not, the course of action taken should be one that stops the bloodshed. If one man dies, its a tragedy, if a million die, it's a statistic. Israel specifically targets population centers, ambulances, and hospitals. Hundreds of men do not get to choose between their son and the country, the country decided for them and it chose itself. Israel makes up the threat of these specific brown people against itself, and uses that as justification for genocide. This does not even consider if its an okay exchange, one life for Israel. Do not tell me you would exchange your son for all of Israel, because you would be too much of a coward to do it. You would never let it happen because you know it's wrong. YOU WOULD NEVER LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS WRONG. And thats the point. These people, thousands, approaching millions of them, they have everything they fight for and care about taken away from them. 

If a country had to pick between you and itself to die, it would always pick you. The country will eat you and every person inside it and will eat them all whole before letting itself collapse. 

I am so tired. I am too poor to help. I have no possessions of my own. I have no tongue of my own. I only have my anger. My rage. My hatred. My righteous fury over all who have died. The childish desire inside me to save everyone. Because its right. I want to help people. 

What does it mean when people tell you to suppress your ability to care. When they so callously throw away the fact that hundreds of people died for no good reason. What does it mean when you know the reason those people died is because the people orchestrating this not only do not care, they view the victims as vermin to be exterminated. 

What does it mean when it becomes political to not actively support genocide.

[kyndaris]

Supreme Leader of the Exaltants

Right before my trip to South Korea and Japan, I managed to polish off one more short indie game. Keeping with the theme of cults and the supernatural, I went with Australian darling: Cult of the Lamb. It's not every day that an Australia based studio makes it big when it comes to gaming. But when they do, it's a huge splash! Look no further than Hollow Knight. Similarly, Cult of the Lamb scratches an itch I didn't realise I wanted when it came to a roguelite video game with cult-builder hidden inside.

The game starts off with a sacrifice of the player-character, the lamb. They are saved by death by The One Who Waits and are then expected to create a loyal following in its name. So begins a game where one is forced to gather resources to build up the cult, ensure their followers are happy, and go on crusades to take down the four Bishops plaguing the land.

While I have mostly shied away from rogue-likes with base-building elements, for example, Don't Starve, there was something oddly charming about Cult of the Lamb. It also helped that the game wasn't very long or very difficult. The controls, in particular, never much deviated from how it was originally introduced. I was dodging past attacks and hacking away at them with ease.

As the game went on, however, heavy attacks were introduced along with curses and relics. These added new strategy to the battles by giving players something more to play around with such as long-ranged barrage of spells at the enemy. While good against bosses, in normal encounters, I still favoured getting up and personal to my enemies. Mostly because the use of curses were limited.

The weapons and abilities were always randomised at the start of each dungeon run, allowing players to experiment with what they liked and what they didn't. However, it also ran the risk of locking players into picking between two weapons they didn't much like.

It soon became clear to me my favourite weapon were the daggers, despite their short range, or the blunderbuss. The hammer and the sword weren't as much fun - the sword because it lacked quite a bit in damage, and the hammer because it was unwieldy and slow.

The format for the crusades, though, keeps it simple. There are multiple dungeons, which one has to run through four times before they reach one of the Bishops. Each of the dungeons have their own theme. This, in turn, impacts the resources one can find inside, as well as provide a different customisable skin for any followers the Lamb recruits inside.

These roguelite elements were balanced by the base-building elements. And I found myself quickly getting sucked into managing the life of my followers by giving sermons, ensuring they were praying to me or gathering resources for further expansion. By the end of the game, I had a self-sufficient farm and my followers were decently satisfied with how I was running things.

Story-wise, Cult of the Lamb relies primarily on exposition from the Bishops as you travel through their region and take them down. This reveals the backstory for The One Who Waits and its connection to the other Bishops of the Old Faith. Once all four are taken down, the chains to The One Who Waits are broken and the Lamb can return the demonic crown they were gifted and be sacrificed in their name. However, it is clear from the reactions of the followers they do not want you to go.

As such, the Lamb can choose to rise up against The One Who Waits. Doing so means doing battle with Baal and Aym. Once these two are waited, The One Who Waits attempts to kill the Lamb themself. However, I was able to pull through and defeat the one who saved me. Doing so, I was able to spare The One Who Waits and indoctrinate them into my cult as a follower.

Cult of the Lamb is not a complex game. It has many fun elements to it that make it a worthwhile purchase. What made it stand out to me, though, was its unique cutesy art style which juxtaposed the themes within the game. I mean, yes, I'm building up a cult for a demonic overlord but at the very least, I can look adorable doing it. And honestly, when I'm playing a game, that's the thing I'm looking out for.

[wandringaesthetic]

To tell you this, I basically have to tell you Isaré's life story.

She was born in the Brume and grew up in poverty, had enough to eat but basically nothing else. Her father was a knight who died when she was very young, and her mother died when she was about 10. Her primary parental figure was her older brother, Vallerin, who was about 10 years older than her. Vallerin went into service as a knight and took some pains to get Isaré on the path to becoming a priestess/chaplain, so that she is under the care and teaching of the church from about the age of 13

About a year before The Calamity, Vallerin dies in the field. The chaplain from his unit brings Isaré the news and is grievously upset about it. He tried to raise him, he should have been able to, he had done it before, Vallerin was young, his injuries could have been healed, I couldn't bring him back. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Isaré actually ends up comforting him about it.

But what Isaré knows, because she's in training as a conjurer and healer, is that you have to want to come back. You have to accept the rez, right? One can never know why The Fury chooses who she does, but perhaps.... He was too weary, too hopeless to go on. Perhaps. She was not enough to come back for.

So within a year or so of that, The Calamity happens. The months and years afterwards in Ishgard had to have been Bad. The people who didn't freeze to death starved to death. Military and Clergy were mostly taken care of, because the Holy See and the High Houses made sure they were, but there was massive death. No one knew at first, how long the freeze was going to last. So they thought they needed enough stockpile til spring, just an unusually long and cold winter..... And then spring never came. Farmers and villagers tried to seek refuge in Ishgard when they ran out of fuel, and eventually the Holy See started turning them away. Because they had nothing to give them. Corpses are removed from the gates of the Steps of Faith more mornings than not. Whenever Isaré is called on to heal, it's people whose bodies and aether are weak with malnutrition , and she knows it's a bandaid, she knows it won't take. Yet she's expected to pray for a miracle, and expected to get one. She is not allowed to say "I can't" or "this one is hopeless." She pours out her strength (because at this point her connection to the elements and the aether of the land is weak) into leaky vessels, because that is what a Halonic cleric does. That is what the faithful do, and Halone is supposed to pick up the slack. And when She doesn't..... Well. That's Her prerogative.

And Isaré does not know how to contextualize all of this. Because the Halonic Orthodoxy is a death cult, she expected to see violence and death in battle. She expected lives cut short. She expected to comfort loved ones with the knowledge that those they lost died courageously in battle and are now in Halone's halls with the highest of honors.

This.... Is not that.

It becomes a popular belief that The Fury is punishing Ishgard for not heeding the call to Carteneau, for not fighting the empire.

But if that were the case, wouldn't the brunt of Her wrath have fallen on the military and the clergy? Those who made the decision? Those who could have fought, but didn't? Instead it has fallen on farmers, on those that didn't know how to fight, on those too young, or too old. Is this the Fury's judgement? Is this the Fury's mercy?

Through it all, there is a slow trickle of refugees south, into Gridania, (where they are welcomed, being mainly hyuran and wildwood elezen). These, the Holy See condemns in the harshest terms. Better that your children freeze to death on the Steps of Faith than bring them among foreigners and heathens and spare their bodies at the expense of their souls.

To make everything worse, Isaré hits that elezen growth spurt at about this time. There is barely enough food to go around, the clergy are being encouraged to fast and pray and beg for The Fury's mercy, she is shooting up like a (very skinny) weed and she is hungry All Of The Time. She tries to convince herself that she should be thankful for what she has, that she is not starving as so many are, but she is dreaming of lavish feasts and waking up to a meager breakfast that only makes her hungrier.

Isaré becomes certain that she is going to die. If she doesn't expend all her aether trying to heal the unhealable, if she actually makes it to become the battlefield healer she was training to be, then she is going to fall in battle and it's going to be like Vallerin, no one is going to be able to Raise her. Because it is a monumental effort to get out of bed, to put one foot in front of the other. Better to lay down, to sleep, to rest, to die. And she will not walk in Halone's halls, because her will is going to fail before she has finished the work The Fury has demanded of her. She can feel her magic and her aether and her will failing.

She is always cold, hungry, exhausted, in mild pain, and suffering an intractable case of Seasonal Depression. One morning, she awakes before the sun rises and she leaves. She walks out. Out of Ishgard, out of the Highlands, with no gil and no plan other than to sleep somewhere warm and feel the sun on her face. She is Done. And it takes her a long time to process exactly why.

She walks into the North Shroud and the Wood Wailers at Florentel's Spire invite her to share their fire and she eats about a million chestnuts and makes her way to Gridania and there Miounne gives her a room on credit and she weaves (it's how her mother made her living) and learns botany and eventually is persuaded to darken the door of the conjurers' guild and most people start to assume she is Gridanian and she doesn't correct them. And this is how the opening of A Realm Reborn finds her.

Pre-Calamity Ishgard and Coerthas

So a lot of people have characters who are Ishgardian born. Before the calamity (5 years prior to ARR) Ishgard and the surrounding areas of Coerthas were lush, green, and flowering.

I can’t even imagine the pain I’d feel seeing my birth home go from fertile and green, to iced over and dead.

What are your character’s thoughts?

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forging Ties - Chapter 18 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Skye had made himself a little nest out of empty sacks and some old clothes he'd found, taken a nap and now he was diligently gnawing his way through an apple.

He shoved the rest of it back in his bag when he heard the storeroom door open and clomping footsteps enter the room.

Skye curled up as small as he could get, trying to avoid detection but with one shifted crate his hiding place was revealed.

The robot stared down at him, the light on the side of its head spinning.

"You are not meant to be on board the ship."

"Shh," Skye told it. "No snitching."

"It is my duty to ensure the safety and wellbeing of everyone on this ship. I will report this situation to Captain Sera."

"I'm on the ship," Skye said. "You have to ensure my safety and wellbeing."

The light on the side of the robot's head spun.

"Yes. You are on the ship. It is my duty to ensure your safety and wellbeing."

"Well, I'm starving," Skye said. "You have to get me food or I'll starve to death, okay?"

The light spun again.

"Yes. I will get you food."

As the robot left the room, Skye dragged the crate back into place to hide his nest.

With the exception of Perry, who had volunteered to keep watch up top and Cookie, who was lurking somewhere, they were all gathered in the ship's galley to chat and prepare an early lunch.

Duran found himself mostly staying quiet.

He would never describe himself as timid and he could hold a conversation all day and night if he put on an act but he was struggling with just... being himself.

He just couldn't seem to do it with anyone he wasn't fully comfortable around, so he ended up choosing between being aggressively fake or being silent.

Most slaves were compulsive people pleasers.

Duran wasn't quite that.

He was a people deceiver.

But maybe being quieter wasn't such a terrible thing.

Hamish always seemed to have something to say but Slone would often sit back for minutes at a time, smiling as he listened along to the conversation and not say a word.

It never felt like he was lacking in confidence.

He just didn't always feel the need to contribute.

This was the world that he now needed to find his place in.

A world where everyone was allowed to be different.

Duran absolutely loved it but he would need to learn entirely new ways of existing before he could truly feel comfortable in it.

The robot clomped into the room, picked up a banana and clomped back towards the door.

"What are you doing, robot?" Sera asked it before it had made it out of the room.

"I am feeding Skye so that he doesn't starve to death," the robot said.

"Skye isn't here," Sera said.

"Skye is on board the ship," the robot said. "He stowed away in the storeroom."

When the robot left the room, they all followed it.

In the storeroom, the robot lifted aside a crate and there was Skye.

"Snitch," Skye said, glaring at the robot.

"I have brought you a banana," the robot said. "If you are starving, you should only eat half. Refeeding syndrome is a life threatening condition that occurs when someone who is malnourished begins eating again."

"I know he's kind of skinny, robot but does he look malnourished to you?" Sera asked. "For goodness sakes, you fed him yourself, twice, just days ago."

"While this is true, Miriam stated that he eats a lot, which suggests an unusually large amount," the robot said. "It is possible that his metabolism works differently from most peoples' and he is actually starving even if he doesn't appear to be. Additionally..."

Everett let out a deep sigh.

"Why did I give you the ability to speak?

"You gave me the ability to speak so that we could easily communicate information back and forth."

"Do you see now why I didn't want it to be capable of violence?" Sera asked.

"It's too easily manipulated."

"Well, if I toned down the stupid a bit..."

"A lot."

"Hmm."

Miriam wheeled around to the front of the group and looked down at Skye in confusion.

"Skye... why are you here?"

Skye folded his arms over his chest.

"Because I want to be."

"But why are you hidden away in a storeroom? Why didn't you just tell us you were coming?"

"Nobody invited me," Skye grumbled.

"Skye, I haven't seen you since before this trip was planned," Miriam said.

"Did you tell anyone you wanted to come?"

Skye just frowned.

"People can't read your mind, Skye. If you want people to know things, you have to say them."

"Well, I mean, sometimes people can read your mind," Hamish said.

"But none of us. One thing, though. Slone... could you not smell that he was here? You were helping to carry things down earlier."

"Oh, yeah, I knew," Slone said. "Kit said to leave it, so I left it."

"Kit...?" Sera asked.

"Oh, yeah, Cookie is host to two spirits," Hamish said.

"I wouldn't worry about it."

"This has all become very confusing," Sera said.

"Sorry, Skye," Slone said. "You were there too when we were talking about the trip. Guess we didn't include you in that conversation at all."

Skye didn't seem to feel the need to offer any response to that.

He was more focussed on trying to get the robot to give him the banana.

"Anyway," Miriam said. "We've got food cooking. We should get back to that. You want some lunch, Skye?"

Skye nodded.

As they left the room, Skye attached himself to Duran's side and stayed close.

He still seemed unhappy.

Maybe he felt like he hadn't been able to fully express what had upset him and led him to take the actions he had.

He often seemed to avoid explaining himself and it had clearly frustrated him when the robot hadn't understood him when he'd been ordering his food.

Whatever was going on inside his head, he seemed quite content to simply sit with Duran and look sad while Duran combed his fingers through his hair.

He had struck Duran as someone who was generally carefree but this situation seemed to have bothered him.

Even once the food was ready and he was given a bowl of noodle soup to eat, he seemed preoccupied and moody.

Some of the others tried to cheer him up and draw him into the conversation but he wasn't having it.

[lovelyney]

⎯⎯ CHAPTER TWO, A BREATH OF FRESH AIR❞

DESC. one the first day of your rehabilitation, Kazuha decides he wants to walk you around the harbor!

WARNINGS. none that i can think of ♡ enjoy some cute moments between you and Kazu! (:

FLORIST’S NOTE. i did not know that the main event of lantern rite would only be two days long this year ‹/3 sobs

SONG. Oh Death ― SUGR?

PREV. 《 MASTERLIST 》 NEXT.

©2023 loveloxcked ― please don’t translate, upload or copy.❞

STIRRING awake, your (COLOR) irises fluttered open, finding Kazuha opening the curtains to allow the warm sunlight to soak into the room. you let out a quiet whine at the unwanted glare and shoved your face more profound into your pillows. 

Kazuha chuckled lightly and took a seat next to you. “the sun has risen for the day, hummingbird — which means it’s time for you too, as well. surely you’ve gotten enough rest, hm?” he crooned. 

yesterday after your arms were properly treated, Kazuha and Xiao let you rest for the remaining of the day, recognizing how much you desired to get some peaceful sleep — proven by the dark circles shadowed under your eyes.

“hnnnm, do i have to?” you murmured and hugged the duvets closer against your figure, having no desire to get out of your comfy position.

the boy chuckled softly, “i’m afraid so, kaze. we’re taking a walk around Liyue Harbor today, and i’d rather not have you walking around like a zombie.” gently grabbing your bandaged hand with his own, he pulled you up to face him — his smile growing wider at your sleepy expression. “cute…” he thought as he carefully brushed the hair out of your eyes.

you rubbed your eyes and looked around the room, “where’s Xiao?” you wondered. 

“he said he had some adeptal duties to deal with as of today. so it’s just going to you and me today. he said he’d make up for it tomorrow,” he replied as he softly combed through your bedhead; he fought back a smile when you nuzzled your cheek into the palm that kept your head elevated. “say dove. do you think you’d be comfortable with meeting new people? i’d like to introduce you to a close friend of mine today. she’s a little. . . outgoing. granted, i think she’d like you a lot.”

you tensed slightly at the ask, your head almost immediately flooding with the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts.’ you knew you couldn’t stay trapped in your cage forever. you questioned, “what—what is she to you? like. . . how do you know her?”

Kazuha tilted his head curiously and set a fresh set of clothes in your lap to change into. “well, i’d say she’s like my older sister, although we aren’t at all related by blood. she happened to take me in when i needed somewhere to stay and hid me when danger sought me out,” he informed, observing as your gaze saddened at the mention of a family member. he pressed on, “your situation stays between me and Xiao, (NAME) i promise you that with all my heart. in no way am i going to put you in harm’s way by saying something you don’t wish me to.”

you sighed worriedly, “alright, i suppose i’ll trust your better judgment.”

he nodded, a fulfilled smile curving on his lips. “it delights me to hear that, dove. get dressed, and we’ll start our day, mhm? i’ll wait for you on the other side of the door,” he cooed and pressed his lips to your forehead before leaving so you couXld get changed. 

dragging out a gradual breath, you reached to touch where his lips feathered over. Kazuha certainly was affectionate, wasn’t he? not like you necessarily objected to it; you found it pacifying after being starved from physical touch for so long.

after you finished getting dressed, you took a brief look in the mirror and smoothed the small wrinkles. the outfit was much more formal than what you’d usually wear; it had you wondering how he picked it out.

Kazuha, who was talking to Verr Goldet at the time, turned to you as you left the bedroom; his vermillion eyes crinkled as he drank in the sight of you. “ah, there you are, hummingbird. i must say i did a satisfactory job choosing you an outfit. . . you look breathtaking.” he flattered and grabbed your hand when you reached his side. “that aside, are you ready?”

your breath gets captured in your throat as his words shoot an arrow directly through your heart. was he always this flirty, or was it just towards you? you hoped it was the latter. . . 

shifting your weight, you nodded, feeling yourself shrink a little at the tenderness that glistened in his eyes. not to mention, he was holding your hand! your heartbeat thumped in your ears as he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

he smiled at your bashfulness and turned to Verr Goldet. “alright, we’ll be off, Verr. we should be back by sunset. take care,” he said.

your anxiety climbed higher as the two of you neared the harbor, the fear of not knowing what to expect plaguing your mind. you murmured, “hey, Kazuha. . . how busy is it there? like in the harbor.” 

the boy let out a thoughtful hum, “well, on normal occasions, it isn’t too busy. however, since Lantern Rite is around the corner, i’d expect it to be quite lively,” he informed.

you lamented, “ah, i completely forgot about lantern rite…” 

Kazuha frowned with a curious tilt of his head. “hm? why do you sound so discouraged, dove? do you normally not celebrate it?”  

your teeth sunk into the inside of your cheek, and your mind whirled with the proper way to phrase your answer without giving away too much. “not in a way that i would’ve liked. . . Qingce Village is quite far from the festival itself, so i never got to see the lanterns; let alone make one,” you explained. 

he nodded sympathetically. “i see. . . well, that’s one of the reasons why we’re going, is it not? for you to experience the things you wished you could — the things you deserved to see.” he expressed. “there’s a stall i know of that lets you make lanterns. how about we stop there when we’re finished with everything?”  

you opened your mouth to speak but quickly fell silent, his words registering in your mind. “i’d like that a lot…” 

“then it’s decided.”

upon reaching Liyue Harbor, you shambled attentively behind your friend, watching with trembling eyes as people happily chatted and roamed the city. you held your breath as people closely passed by, their eyes briefly settling on you before continuing to amble on. “please don’t tell me they recognize me. please don’t tell me—”

“haha, not used to big crowds?” 

you swung around, a bit startled by the unusual voice, to be confronted by a woman with long off-white hair, her warm golden eyes searing directly through yours. your throat tightened as you searched your mind for something to say.

Kazuha recognized your apprehension and nudged you slightly behind him, allowing you time to calm yourself. he smiled kindly, “pleasure to see you, Ningguang. this is (NAME), a friend of mine. this is her first time in the harbor, so she’s a little nerve stricken.”

She nodded and offered you a gentle yet reassuring smile. “aw, is that so? welcome to Liyue Harbor, (NAME). as Kazuha said, my name is Ningguang; i’m the tianquan at the Liyue Qixing.” she greeted. 

quickly composing yourself, you sheepishly peeked your head over the anemo user’s shoulder and returned the act. “a—as to you, Ningguang! and thank you.” 

Kazuha lovingly reached his hand up and ruffled your hair, presenting you a little consolation. “i’m surprised to see you out in the city, Ningguang. i thought you’d be in the Jade Chamber preparing the Lantern Rite preparations,” he pointed out. 

“i strived to finish them a bit more earlier this year so that everyone could take the time to enjoy themselves; i’m just taking a walk around to make sure everything’s in order. . . it seems Liyue is just as excited as always.” the woman’s regard traveled to his hand in yours, her eyes discreetly lighting up. “how about you, lovebirds? what brings you here on such a busy day?” 

ripples of hot air washed over your face at the question. “u—um! we aren’t—” stutters spilled from your lips as you scrambled to deny that you two were, in fact, not dating. you turned to Kazuha, who stared at you amused, and shook his arm frantically as to say, say something!

the blonde chuckled, drinking in your flustered expression. “archons, that shade of red certainly suits her.” he thought before looking back at Ningguang. “this is (NAME)’s first time celebrating Lantern Rite, so i’m showing her around to ensure we don’t miss anything,” he explained. “have you seen Beidou at all today? i’d like them to meet.”  

Ningguang arched an eyebrow, “oh? is that so? i’m sure she’ll adore you, (NAME). she should still be at the docks. when you do see her, tell her to keep out of trouble, will you?” 

“i’m certain of it as well, and of course, i will. take care, Ningguang; happy Lantern Rite.” he chuckled and gestured for you to follow behind him.

you bowed your head to the girl, a shy smile outlined on your lips when you bid her goodbye before catching up to Kazuha.

your mind aimlessly wandered to how Kazuha didn’t dismiss Ningguang’s claim that you two were dating; i mean, she didn’t bluntly say it, but surely she assumed it by calling you two lovebirds, right? or maybe you were just overthinking it all. . .

“little dove? are you feeling unwell? how come you’ve grown silent?” the boy worried and stroked your inner wrist with his thumb, his gentle touch bringing you back to reality.

you shook your head dismissively. you quickly reassured, “n—no! i’m feeling fine. sorry, i’m just. . . thinking.” you prayed the faint crimson on your cheeks wasn’t prominent. spoiler alert: it was.

he nodded, smiling innocently; he knew exactly what you were thinking about. “how about we stop and eat somewhere? i know you haven’t eaten yet, and Wanmin Restaurant is known for its delicious meals,” he proposed.

as soon as he said that, your senses were enveloped in the aroma of spices. you sighed, “now that you mention it, i am pretty hungry. i didn’t bring any mora with me, though...”

Kazuha hooked his fingers under your chin and lifted your head, scarlet irises dimly lit with attachment. “good thing this is my treat, yes?” cooed the blonde as he pressed his lips to your forehead. “come, let’s sit. i’ll buy you anything you’d like.”  

you swallowed hard and sat down next to him, freezing up as he offered you a menu. “at least let me pay you back when i get the chance.” you huffed and skimmed through the variety of different foods.

“(NAME), i said this is my treat, did i not? if you’re really so troubled over repaying me, you can do it by enjoying yourself.”

you grimaced, your shoulders slumping in defeat. “but i feel like you’re doing so much for me, and i’m offering nothing in return...” you murmured, gaze drawn away from him in discomfiture.

the boy delivered a light sigh and lifted your hand to kiss your inner wrist, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering hurriedly to their next blossom. “kaze. please lay your worries to rest. you mustn’t give anything to me; you’ve given enough of yourself to the world. . . let me help repay its debt, yes?” he expressed. “now. . . what would you like to eat?”  

AFTER EATING⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⟢

sighing in satisfaction, you sipped the remaining broth in your black-perch stew. Kazuha certainly wasn’t lying when he said Wanmin Restaurant had delicious food.

“aaahh~ that was delicious!” you squealed and set the bowl down. “thanks so much, Xiangling! you’re such an excellent cook!” 

the girl giggled, “it makes me so happy to hear that! it’s my own recipe!” her hands excitedly tapped against the marble counter; “oh! oh! how are you spending Lantern Rite?” 

you laughed sheepishly and signaled to Kazuha, who talked to Xinyan about something. “err—well, i’m not too sure what the plan is, but Kazuha said he had something in mind,” you said.

her eyes lit up to rival the lanterns that hung in the city. “oho~ spending it with your boyfriend now, are you? hehe, how romantic!” she bubbled.

your eyes flew open as you frantically shook your head in protest. you spluttered, “nonono! Xiangling, we—we aren’t dating! i only officially met Kazuha yesterday!”

just as you finished speaking, you felt Kazuha’s hand wrap comfortably around yours. “you ready to head out, kaze?” he asked and fit his fingers between yours with a guiltless smile.

“you are NOT helping.” you couldn’t help but think as you hopped from your seat. “yeah! i’m ready!” you exclaimed and turned to your new pyro friend(s), your countenance falling when you regarded how xiangling smirked. “w—what’s with that look?” 

“are you sure you aren’t—” 

“yesXianglingi’msure!”

Xinyan chuckled, “aww, you two are the cutest! it was nice meeting ya, (NAME)! you gotta come to one of my performances sometime! i’d love to have ya!”

tiredly sighing, you reached your non-occupied hand up and ruffled your hair. “you as well, Xinyan! i’ll try and see if i can stop in sometime and see you perform,” you replied. “thank you guys so much for your hospitality; it means a lot.”

Xiangling smiled, her hands firmly set on her hips. “aww! of course, (NAME)! please feel free to stop by any time.” she chirped and waved you goodbye.

as the two of you ambled forward, your eyes lingered on yours and Kazuha’s hands — still lovingly cradling one another. no wonder people thought you two were together; he’s practically had a hand on you the entire day. it had you considering how he didn’t feel partially humiliated at the speculations. you didn’t have a vision, and those who did (aka, Kazuha) were highly regarded in the eyes of everyone. did he not find it embarrassing to be seen holding hands with someone who wasn’t on the same status as him?

being too engrossed in your self-deprecation, you hadn’t recognized you two had already reached the ship docks. you nervously surveyed the surroundings, watching as kids excitedly darted past you. feeling your anxiety start to swallow you, your grip on Kazuha’s hand slightly tightened.

in return, Kazuha slid his thumb over your wrist in small circles. “deep breaths, hummingbird. i promise you’re safe with me,” he soothed. 

you nodded silently, not noticing how his eyes paused on each passerby to ensure they weren’t gawking at you.

Kazuha halted at one of the ships. “good evening, Beidou,” he greeted a woman with deep brown hair, her hands going through some boxes.

a pair of ruby eyes peeked up and fixed on the two of you. “Kazuha! i’ve been wondering where you ran off to. who is this you have here?” crowed the woman as she dusted herself off. 

he smiled gently and held up your intertwined fingers. “Beidou, this is (NAME), a dear friend of mine. (NAME), this is Beidou, the leader of the Crux Fleet.” he introduced.

Beidou grinned, kindly offering her hand to you. “it’s nice to meet you, (NAME)! any friend of Kazuha’s is a friend of mine!” she beamed, eyes aimlessly wandering to your guys’ close proximity. “a friend, eh? it’s about time you got yourself a little girlfriend, Kazu! you two are adorable! make sure i get an invite to the wedding.”

you blinked rapidly, your heart jumping a beat at the word wedding. archons, these claims only keep getting bolder, don’t they? you let out a quiet gasp, feeling Kazuha’s arm curl around your waist and pull you tight against his side. 

the boy chuckled, fingers softly drumming against your hip. “haha, sure thing, Beidou; you’ll be the first to know. this is actually her first time in the city, and her nerves have quite the hold on her. would you mind offering some words of advice? you’re one of the bravest people i know, and i thought it’d be rather fitting,” he acknowledged.

she nodded, her grin growing broader at the color in your cheeks. “aw, you flatter me, Kazu! and, of course, i will! please, come on board! i’ll get you guys something to drink!” she chorused.

Kazuha nudged you slightly forward,“no need to be shy, hummingbird. Beidou may be very extroverted, but you’ll find her to be a sweetheart.” he assured and stepped on the boat.

you gulped, eyes merely focused on how the ship steadily rocked back and forth. you couldn’t help but think that if you were to misstep, you’d fall directly into the ocean. . . in front of Kazuha. why did such a thought cross your mind? you weren’t sure. 

the ronin hummed and held his hand out, “take my hand. i promise i won’t let you fall,” he said as if he read your mind. 

as you hesitantly slipped your hand in his, you carefully set foot on Beidou’s ship. you yelped as it swayed, causing you to stumble into Kazuha’s chest from the sudden motion.

his hands swiftly rested on your hips to help stabilize you, only retreating when the movement fully came to a stop. “are you alright?” he muttered against your hair.

your breath hitched as you remembered your position. quickly pulling away, tidal waves of magma flooded your system. “ah! i—i’m so sorry about that, Kazu!” you frantically apologized, your eyes anywhere but his.

Kazuha innocently tilted his head, his lips pursing into a sweet smile as blush tinted his cheeks. “did—did you just call me Kazu. . .?”

“shit.”

SUNDOWN⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⟢

you tiredly hung onto Kazuha’s arm as the end of the day wrote itself into existence faster than expected; at that moment, you realized how grateful you were that Kazuha had refused Beidou’s offer of alcohol.

Kazuha let out a quiet chuckle, one of his hands brushing away the strands of hair that curtained your eyes. “as much as you’re adorable when you’re sleepy, dove, we still have to make our lanterns. afterward, i’ll carry you the rest of the way back. does that sound good?” he crooned softly.

you answered groggily, “i’ll be fine...” letting go of your hold on his arm, you attempted to stand upright and wake yourself up. “sorry for acting so yawn clingy. . . ’m just really tired.” 

Kazuha simpered, staring at you with the gentleness of the breeze in the early mornings. “i, in no way, object to you holding on to me, (NAME). i think it’s rather cute…” he cooed, voice as quiet and delicate as a feather. 

“there you two are. . . shouldn’t you be back at the inn?” a gruff voice said from behind you two.

Kazuha stiffened and tucked you safely behind him, only to sigh in relief to see the voice belonged to Xiao. “ah, there you are, Xiao. i was wondering where you might be off to. (NAME) and i were just about to go make a lantern before returning; would you want to join us?” he informed, feeling himself relax as one of your hands coiled around his bicep.

the conqueror of demons scoffed, “i don’t care for mortal rituals, so i’ll have to decline—” he jolted at the feeling of you clutching his wrist. 

shaking your head, you stubbornly glared at him. “like hell you are! if we’re doing this, then we’re doing it together!” you interjected proudly and dragged him over to the stand — your other hand still wrapped around Kazuha.

“excuse me—”

“why, hello, you three! would you guys like to make a lantern?” the lady greeted cheerfully.

“yes, we would, please.” laughed Kazuha, playfully glowering at Xiao, who opened his mouth to protest. he turned to you, smiling warmly as the golden light of the lanterns adorned your (COLOR) irises. “do you have anything in mind for your wish, (NAME)?”

Xiao felt himself freeze as your head tiredly fell to his shoulder. “archons, could this girl get any more careless? what if my karmic debit infects her?” he thought worriedly, though he made no effort to move. “well? you better have something in mind if you’re dragging me into this.” he grumbled, choosing to ignore the ripples of warmth clouding his chest.

Kazuha smiled and leaned against you, causing xiao to shift a little uncomfortably. “your expression gives away your true feelings, dear adeptus.” he hummed.

“d—don’t speak such nonsense! y—you have no idea what i’m thinking!”

smiling somnolently to yourself, you picked up the pen and scribbled down your wish, the warmth of kazuha and xiao nearly lulling you to sleep.

“in these next few days, i wish to rekindle a new love for life and (hopefully) keep these two close in the process ♥”

LITTLE EXTRA⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⟢

“you sure don’t want me to carry them, Xiao? you seem a little flustered,” Kazuha teased slightly, already knowing the answer to the question.

 “i’m—i’m certain, Kazuha. you’ve done your share for today...” Xiao uttered and looked down at you, peacefully asleep in his arms. 

the latter chuckled, “yes, certainly, that is the only reason why you decided to carry them...”

FLORIST’S NOTE 02. i don’t want to talk about how LONG this to took to write omg ‹/3 i’m SO sorry y’all. i really wasn’t expecting the event to be only two days and there was no many roadblocks that i couldn’t even finish within the timespan of the 14ish days it kept going. is this something you guys are still interested in? should i keep it going? does it matter that lantern rite is over? 😭😭 let me know.

CUSTOMERS. @eimuros ― @miaoxi ― @oceanbluesixeyes ― @apple-ai ― @izzyandviolins ― @tsuyumbrella ― @dark-knight-hero

[diaphragmjellyfish]

You Just Wait

gif is from @twilightofficial​

A/N: The hardest part of writing a fic is honestly choosing the love interest XD I have so many fictional boyfriends it’s hard to choose just one. I have noticed a significant lack of Jared Cameron content and he’s super adorable so here it is! Also, I left the concept a little bit more vague so more people can relate to it. It doesn’t specifically say vaginismus, it’s more of a general “sex doesn’t normally go well for me” type thing. 

Bottomless, covered in chocolate sauce, walking through the woods, phone dead, in the middle of August on a weekday. How did you end up here? Jared Cameron. Your boyfriend. He had roped you in to an elaborate prank on Paul that hadn’t exactly gone as planned. Needless to say, you were desperate for a shower and a nap. A hot meal wouldn’t hurt. And you were beyond irritated, not even looking Jared’s way as he walked next to you in a similar state. 

“Babe, if you let me carry you, we’ll get home way faster,” he whined.

You didn’t respond, only walking with more frustration around the roots and fallen trees. It was growing dark, just about twilight, and you knew you wouldn’t be reaching either of your houses at this rate. You were miles into the forest. But your pride kept you from accepting Jared’s wolfy-back ride, because he tended to make lots of jokes about being between your legs and you riding him and blah blah blah, and you honestly might punch him right now if he did that. 

So you just kept ignoring him, arms folded tightly against your chest because, yes, it was August, but this was also the Washington coast. It got pretty chilly no matter what time of year it was. 

“I can see you shivering from here,” he pleaded, almost sounding in pain at the thought of you being uncomfortable. “It’s only gonna get colder. Let me help you.”

You ignored him. 

“C’mooonnnnnn,” he cried. His preferred way of cracking your silence was usually by annoying you out of it, and it was working. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’m-”

“Jared, I swear to God!” 

“Aha! She speaks!” he laughed. 

“”Only to tell you to be quiet, or I’ll-”

“Or you’ll what?” he cut you off. “I’m way stronger than you!” He was teasing you into talking to him. Even if it was in the form of arguing. Damn, he always got you to crack. You stopped walking, turning to face him, arms still held tightly around yourself. You couldn’t resist a good bicker, and Jared knew that. He would get the sass to come out, and then once you got tired, he’d apologize and you’d be made up within half an hour. That’s what always happened. And you couldn’t exactly stay mad at those big brown puppy eyes for long. 

“Physically, maybe,” you chided, “but I’m definitely way smarter than you.”

He stepped closer to you, a playful smirk on his face. “What, are you gonna read me to death or something?”

“I’m gonna strategize a huge plan, manipulate you, and leave you here in the forest by yourself. That’s what I’m gonna do,” you sassed. He never took arguments to heart, which is one thing you loved about him. He knew how grumpy you could get and would let you vent, and then make you forget all about the problem. 

“Oh, okay, yeah sure,” he giggled, hands going up in defense. “I’m just saying that in this situation, there is no way you come out on top. You run, I catch you. You hide, I sniff you out,” he teased. This made you crack an almost imperceptible smile, but one he noticed nonetheless. “And if you did somehow manage to get away from me, you’d freeze to death in an hour flat.” The cold breeze that caused you to shiver more violently could not have had worse timing. Obviously, Jared noticed, and his face dropped. He approached you slowly, silently asking if you were still mad enough to not let him touch you. When you didn’t step back or stop him, he wrapped both his arms around you and brought you into a huge bear hug. You sighed at his warmth, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso. He’d given you his hoodie hours ago, and was left in only a pair of shorts, though he didn’t seem to notice. Damn him and his werewolf heat. 

You still shivered in his arms, but his feverish temperature was a relief to your aching bones. 

“See? Could’ve been warm hours ago,” he teased once again, noting your clinginess. 

“Shut up. I’m still mad,” you mumbled into his neck. He laughed softly to himself, rubbing his hands up and down your body to create more heat. After a few minutes, you were starting to struggle to keep your eyes open. It had to be close to 2 in the morning, and you’d been walking for what felt like hours. Jared could have easily run home and let you brood alone, but he stuck with you no matter how long you went without speaking to him. 

“Sleepy?” he murmured into your hair. You just nodded softly, and didn’t protest as he bent down, one hand going behind your knees and the other staying around your back. He picked you up with ease and started walking through the woods once more with an “Okay Princess, I got you.” His stride never faltered, easily avoiding tripping over roots or slipping on rain-soaked moss. He must have been walking for about 30 minutes, never so much as breathing hard or shifting you in his grip. You didn’t sleep, but welcomed the rest he allowed you. Your eyes were closed, head resting on his shoulder when you felt him stop. You looked up, and in the distance, maybe 50 yards away, you saw a small building. 

“Hunter’s cabin, I’m guessing. No one’s home,” Jared stated, anticipating your questions. 

“Think there’ll be blankets?” you wondered, tired, yet still playful. 

“What, am I not enough for you?” he feigned mock hurt as you giggled at his unshakeable good attitude. Without another word, he began walking towards the small cabin, which was about the size of an average bedroom. When you reached the door, he set you down gently, holding his hands close to your waist while you found your footing, and then wrapping an arm over your shoulders to keep you warm. 

“I’m assuming it’s locked,” you sighed, disappointed. 

“Babe, no door is locked when you have super strength. Honestly, I thought you’d have more faith in me by now,” he smiled brightly. 

“You can’t just go around kicking random people’s doors in!” you scolded. 

“Okay, first of all, I can tell by the smell that no one’s been here in years. Second of all, how would anyone know it was us that broke in and not, like, a deer? And third of all, I’d say this counts as an emergency,” he sassed right back at you. You looked at him in annoyance, too tired and cold to actually care. 

After a long sigh, you muttered “fine.” 

He immediately turned to the door, not letting you so much as inhale before he slammed his foot into the space next to the knob, the door all but flying off its hinges. The whole scene caused deafening noise that interrupted the silence of the trees. 

“Jesus!” you called out in surprise, a hand shooting up to your pounding heart. You look around, though knowing no one was around for miles. Jared only turned to look at you, a cheeky smile adorning his face, and said,

“See? Told ya.” 

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the loving and admiring energy that overcame you. Jared really was one in a million, and you were lucky to be by his side. He could be in the worst situation in the world and still find something to laugh about. 

He motioned for you to go in first, ever the gentleman. Walking through the door, the first thing you noticed was the dust. The entire inside of the cabin was covered in a thick layer of it. There was a small, rickety couch with cushions so worn they had holes in them throughout. And the fabric… my God. It looked like something from the 60’s, an obnoxious floral that had faded over time, and now just looked flat out stained. There was a flimsy throw blanket over the back of the couch, a cooler in the corner of the room that was covered in dirt, and on the opposite wall, a fireplace! No wood, no matches, but it was there. The floor was scattered with bullet shells, receipts, and decayed leaves. It was obvious no one had been in here for at least 3 or 4 years. 

“Okay, I can work with this,” Jared said. You really were jealous of his optimism. But, as disgusting as this place was, it beat the frigid breeze of outside, and had a place where you could rest your heads. You walked over to the couch, grabbing the blanket and beating the dust off of it. It was really only meant for one person, but you guys were okay with getting close. It would do. 

Jared walked over to the opposite corner where the cooler sat by the fireplace and opened the lid, peeking inside. 

“Just water,” he said, sounding almost disappointed. 

“Were you really gonna eat whatever was in there?” you spoke incredulously. 

“Babe, I’m starving. You have no idea how close I am to licking that chocolate sauce off of you,” he voiced. You had almost forgotten about the sticky sauce that covered both of your clothes. That prank really was a disaster. You looked down, face heating at the thought of Jared’s mouth on you like that, and turned to the fireplace where he stood. He was looking on the mantle, oblivious to the effect his comment had on you, and exclaimed “Aha!” before reaching up to grab something. “A lighter. We’re saved! Well, you are,” he laughed looking over at your shivering form once more. “Stay here and get comfy. I’m gonna go get some wood.” 

You tried your best, sitting on the edge of the couch and immediately feeling a spring poking you in the butt. The couch really was tiny. You guys were gonna have to bundle up close to fit. The thought excited you. Sure, you and Jared had always been comfortable touching and holding each other, but there were certain areas of your relationship you had yet to explore. More… intimate areas. It was your fault mostly. To make a long story short, you’ve just never enjoyed sex. You found yourself not able to get aroused, which made things painful. Sure, you wanted to. You’d thought about it a ton. But in the moment, your head was so full of thoughts of ‘What if he thinks I’m ugly? What if I smell? Am I doing this right? Is he having a good time? Am I taking too long?’ that you just stopped trying. And obviously you wanted to have sex with Jared, but you were worried he’d be disappointed. By the time he got back, just a few minutes later, you had brought your knees up to your chest, holding your legs close in an effort to preserve warmth. 

“Doing okay Sweetheart?” he asked gently. You gave a small smile and nodded in response. He plopped the logs in his arms down into the fireplace, scavenging the floor for receipts, dried leaves, anything that would catch fire. He dumped these into the fireplace and lit them, the fire catching within seconds. He walked over to the other side of the room where the couch was before bending down, grabbing the bottom lip of it, and pulling it (and you) across the floor, one-handed, and closer to the fire. “Better?” You had always been in awe of his strength. Let’s be honest, it was just plain sexy. Again, you just nodded your head, staring at him in adoration. 

He sat beside you on the couch, throwing an arm over your shoulders again, and leaning back, taking you with him. You cuddled into his side, watching the fire. 

“Ya know, if you take away the shitty couch and sticky clothes and add a few more blankets, this would actually be pretty nice,” he finally spoke. 

You laughed softly, replying, “It would. The couch isn’t even awful, but these clothes are really ruining the mood for me.” 

“Well why don’t you get out of ‘em, hot stuff?” he joked. You knew he wasn’t serious because you guys haven’t gotten that far yet, but something, maybe the exhaustion or the way he kept challenging you today, made you want to actually do it. Before you could lose your nerve, you reached down, pulling off the hoodie and shirt in one go and tossing them onto the floor. You relaxed back into his arms in just a bra, acting like nothing had happened. He was frozen beside you. Maybe it was mean, but you wanted to tease him a little. He’d put you through a lot today, so you wanted to mess with him a tiny bit. So, coolly, you brought a hand onto his thigh and began running it up and down, going higher and higher with each pass. He was still frozen, so you gave a light squeeze, and heard him inhale sharply, though he tried to hide it. 

“I thought you were tired,” he commented.

“Guess I’m not anymore,” you responded, turning to face him boldly. He immediately leaned in to kiss you, softly as always. You reciprocated, bringing your other hand up to cup his face. His arm that was around your shoulders slipped down around your waist, pulling you in further. Jared had always been gentle when kissing you, so you knew you’d have to make the first move to deepen it. Which is exactly what you did. Running your hand up his head and grabbing his hair, you pulled him towards you even more and traced your tongue across his bottom lip. He responded by matching your energy, tongue slipping out to caress yours before bringing your bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling softly. You guys had never kissed like this before. You felt a bead of warmth pool in your abdomen, something you’d never felt with a guy before. Sure, you’d been turned on while watching certain videos or reading certain fanfiction by yourself, but you’d never actually experienced it with someone before. It was exciting. Maybe it was the knowledge that you could stop things at any time and he wouldn’t be upset, or maybe it was how in love with you he really was, but you didn’t feel nervous or worried. You felt comfortable. 

Taking things a step further, you swung your leg over both of his, moving to straddle his lap. 

He pulled away slightly at this, making you ask, “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” he responded, “I just don’t wanna make you do anything you don’t wanna do.”

You smiled, “I’m not doing anything I don’t wanna do. Are you?” 

“Are you seriously asking me that question right now?” He laughed, making you giggle along. 

You leaned back in for another kiss, when he stopped you again. “What exactly… are we doing, though?” You knew what he was silently asking. Are we about to go all the way? And you didn’t know yet. This had started out as playful teasing, but now you were beginning to think that maybe you did want to try something. With Jared. He was it for you, the one you wanted to spend forever with. If you couldn’t trust him, you couldn’t trust anyone. And he’d taken such good care of you these last few hours, keeping you warm, making sure you were storming off in the right direction, that you knew he’d appreciate you in a more intimate sense. 

“I- I kind of would like to try… some stuff,” you answered. 

He looked at you, eyes wide, before answering, “What kind of stuff? I mean, I will do literally anything you ask me to do and you know that, but I didn’t really prepare for this. Like, I don’t… have what we need.” Oh, a condom. What a responsible boy. 

“I’m on the pill,” you replied a little too quickly before looking down and fiddling with your hands. “If you want to.” 

“Y/N, I would be absolutely fucking honored,” he breathed, before cupping your face and pulling you into the most heated kiss yet. Your tongues danced, hands wandering. Yours, across his muscled chest and abdomen, and his, down your waist and around to cup your pantsless ass, squeezing firmly. It felt nice. He handled you in a way that was gentle and painless, but still dominant and firm. And it made the heat in your belly grow. You continued kissing for several minutes, your hands moving up his neck and eventually landing in his hair once more, and his remaining on your ass and waist. You softly sucked at his lower lip, nibbling slightly, and it made him let out a low growl and pull your hips forward onto his, where you felt something hard push against you. You knew what it was, and it didn’t scare you like it normally would. You did, however, feel your damp underwear. Shit, that’s never happened before. You were normally bone dry at this point. You let out a soft sigh, grinding your hips onto him once more. 

He softened his kisses slightly, bringing a hand around to your stomach and running his knuckles lightly across your lower abdomen. 

“Can I?” He questioned delicately. 

“Yes,” you replied almost immediately. He brought his hand under the waistband of your underwear, when you said, “Wait,” and he stopped. “Just one thing. I kind of… have never been able to do this without it hurting a lot, so maybe you could just try to be gentle?” 

“Oh, baby, you’ve been in pain before? I’m so sorry,” he whispered genuinely. 

“It’s okay, I just…” It was now or never. He should know. “Normally I’m super nervous about everything, so I can’t really… get into it, and when girls aren’t into it it’s kind of… dry? And that makes it kind of hurt really bad.” You faded out at the end, feeling embarrassed. He brought his hand out of your underwear and up to your chin, tilting your face up to look him in the eye, looking concerned. “But I’m into this, I mean, right now. I’m excited. I just thought I should warn you,” you awkwardly laughed at the end. 

“You promise? Because you know that if you want to stop we will, and I would never be upset or pressure or anything like that,” he spoke sweetly, making your heart flutter. And you did know that, which is why you felt comfortable. Every other time, you felt that if you went past a certain point, you couldn’t say stop. Couldn’t call it off without making whatever guy you were with super mad and then… who knows what would happen. But when Jared spoke those words, you believed him. 

“I promise. And I know you’ll stop. But I don’t want you to.” 

With this, he scanned your face one more time for any signs of hesitation, and when he found none, brought you down into another heated kiss. You felt his hand trail from your chin down to your breasts, skimming over your bra, down your stomach and once again to the waistband of your underwear. Only this time he didn’t go under. He stayed on top of the fabric and brought his hand down between your legs, index finger brushing lightly against your core. You barely felt it, and began to worry that you’d once again feel numb. Oftentimes, when guys would touch you or go down on you, you felt nothing. It was like you were broken or something. And you started to become concerned that tonight would be no different. 

But he brought his finger down again, repeating the same movement, only with significantly more pressure this time, and it had you release an involuntary sigh. And instead of removing his finger like he had the first time, he kept it over your clit, drawing firm circles. 

Your mouth dropped open in a silent moan, Jared staring intently at your face. 

“Oh, wow,” you finally breathed. 

“Good?” he asked cockily, wearing a large smirk. He repeated the movement again, drawing a line from your core to your clit, stopping to rub circles. 

“Mmm hmm,” you sighed. He leaned in once more to meet you with the sloppiest, dirtiest kiss you two had shared yet, and it only made you grind your center into his hand. He repeated the action several times over, and you were a writhing mess in minutes. 

He brought a finger under your waistband once more, stretching the elastic out before letting it snap lightly against your skin. “Let’s take these off, hmm?” You’d never stood up so fast in your life, practically ripping the panties off of you, taking your bra off with it. Jared stood up to remove his shorts, but stopped to stare. 

“What?” you questioned shyly, moving to cover up.

“You’re literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” 

The boy quite literally had heart eyes for you. 

“Oh,” you responded meekly, cheeks heating up. When you kept looking back at him, he seemed to snap back into the moment and hurriedly ripped off his shorts and underwear, sitting back on the couch and opening his arms for you. You moved to straddle his hips the same way as before, and he brought his arms around to embrace you as you shared another heated kiss. One of his hands moved up to cup your breast, thumb rolling over your nipple as if you were made of glass. Jared pulled his mouth off of yours and trailed his lips down the side of your face, to your jaw, and down onto your neck, suckling lightly and leaving wet kisses. You tilted your head to the side to give him better access, and brought one of your hands down between you two to grasp him. He shuddered, only grabbing your hips and bringing you impossibly closer. His other hand trailed down to your center once more, going straight to your core and gathering the slight wetness there before bringing his finger up to your clit and circling. With your underwear out of the way, you felt almost lightheaded at his touch. You never knew how girls could cum during sex before, because you never seemed to feel much at all unless it was pain, but with how aroused you were right now and Jared’s movements, you thought for the first time that you may actually be able to finish. People do say that 90% of sex is mental, and you guessed this is what they meant. The more into it you are, the more physical sensation you actually feel. Groundbreaking. 

“Can I finger you?” he murmured huskily into your neck. 

You tensed slightly at this, but trusted him. If you said stop, he would. “Ok, just go slow.”

“Of course,” he responded before placing a sweet kiss on your shoulder and bringing his index finger back to your core, swirling around the entrance a few times. You took a few deep breaths to relax your muscles, and he looked at you, wordlessly asking, Ready? You nodded, and he slipped his finger in, just to the first knuckle, and held it still while he brought his thumb to your clit and continued rubbing. When he noticed you visibly relax, he slipped his finger in further to the second knuckle, stopping for a few seconds, and then all the way. He kept it here again, giving you time to adjust or tell him to stop, all the while keeping you stimulated with his thumb. It felt really good. Well, you didn’t exactly feel his finger at all, which was better than pain, and his thumb was making you crazy. Your breathing was labored at this point, eyebrows furrowed as you held onto his shoulders, nails digging in and sure to leave scratches. He pressed the finger inside of you onto your front wall suddenly, massaging the ridges firmly, and you let out a moan. Your first real moan ever. And damn did it get Jared excited. He continued this motion again and again, building in intensity and pressure slowly. When he felt how wet you had become, he pulled his finger back out to the first knuckle, and added his middle finger next to it, sliding them both back in slowly so as not to hurt you. Your eyes widened at the stretch, but it didn’t hurt. It felt amazing. 

“Oh, fuck,” you whispered to yourself, before moaning once more as his fingers began the ‘come-hither’ motion once more. 

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, concerned at your cursing. 

“No, feels so good,” you moaned, and he smiled at this, increasing the pressure even more. Your eyes screwed shut, hips stuttering over his hand, letting him finger fuck you for several more minutes as you began to feel a tightening in your stomach. He brought his thumb off of your clit finally, adjusting his hand for a better angle and bringing his other hand off of your waist and up to his mouth, licking his thumb and bringing that down to your clit, resuming the tight circles. You could hear how wet you were, feeling too good to be embarrassed. The heat in your stomach was building, spreading. You felt your legs begin to shake, muscles begin to tighten around his fingers, and your eyes screwed shut as you opened your mouth in a silent scream and came. The waves of pleasure washed over you for a long time, Jared slowing his movements down so as not to overstimulate you. When you finally opened your eyes again, you were panting, legs feeling like Jello. Jared was staring at you with a look of absolute awe on his face, mouth agape and dick rock hard, red, and leaking precum. He was more turned on than he had ever been from actual sex before, and it was only from watching you. 

“Fuck, baby that was so hot,” he all but moaned. 

You reached down to grasp him, panting a “your turn.” 

He grabbed both your wrists, stopping you. “Nuh uh, this is about you. Lie the fuck down.”

You gasped, his dominant tone turning you on despite your recent climax. You both knew that if you were even slightly uncomfortable, things would stop immediately. But it was fun for both of you to let him be a little aggressive. You did as told, lying long ways across the couch cushions, Jared moving to kneel between your legs, moving your knees softly apart so he could look at all of you. You didn’t feel insecure being exposed like this. You felt excited. 

“Are you absolutely sure you wanna do this?” he questioned. 

“I have never been more sure, Jared baby, I want to,” you pleaded. This was enough for him, so he brought his dick down to line up with your entrance, rubbing the tip up and down a few times to collect your wetness. He was worried that there wouldn’t be enough lubricant, so he brought a hand up to his mouth and spit, rubbing the saliva on his cock. 

“You just wait ‘til we get some real lube and a real fucking bed, Princess. You won’t be able to walk for days.” You shuddered at the thought of this, and of the sensation of his dick rubbing around your clit and back down to your entrance. He pushed in slightly, letting the tip in before pausing and checking your face for any signs of pain. When he found none, he pushed in slightly more, and more. He was being extremely slow, and you appreciated it. Guys normally would just shove themselves inside, not giving you any time to adjust before pounding away. But Jared was careful, despite how turned on you knew he was. He still had your best interest in mind. Within a couple of minutes, he was fully seated inside of you, staying still until you told him to move. He brought his face down to give you a sweet kiss, waiting for you to give him the signal. 

After a few seconds, you didn’t feel any sort of stinging or pain, so you nodded, saying “Just start slow.” 

“Of course,” he replied genuinely. He pulled his hips back just a few inches, before slowly grinding them back into yours. You closed your eyes, focusing on keeping your muscles loose and relaxed as he continues this movement a few more times. The next time he pushed in, he ground his hips further into yours, hitting the deepest parts of you. This had you release a gasp, eyes opening to meet his. “Okay?” he questioned. 

“Yes.” 

He did this several more times, letting you get used to the feeling of him being so deep inside of you, before your hips began to grind back into his. It felt really good. When he noticed this, he began pulling his hips back more, pushing back in slightly faster, and this had you moaning. You threw your head back, back arched, just enjoying the sensations. Your hands were grasping at his shoulders, definitely leaving scratch marks. 

“Oh my God,” you whispered. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he responded, planting sloppy kisses to your neck and collar bone. “Baby, I’m not gonna last much longer.” 

You smiled at this, glad he was enjoying it as much as you were. “Go ahead, cum for me,” you spoke, and your words had him right on the edge. He pulled out of you quickly, hand fisting his cock as he stared at your sweaty, writhing body below him. He came hard, spilling onto your stomach as he growled out, the sound making your toes curl, almost animalistic. You both remained in this position as you came down, breaths labored and eyes barely open. He stood up fully off of the couch and reached for the flimsy blanket on the floor, using it to wipe off your stomach. He threw it into the corner of the room and lay down next to you on the couch, gathering you up into his arms to cuddle. 

“Did you have a good time?” he asked almost nervously after a few minutes. 

“Nah, kinda sucked,” you teased, and he let out a playful laugh, lightly shoving you away before pulling you back and planting a kiss on your temple. 

A pause. “For real though,” he prodded, beginning to panic slightly. 

You burst out laughing. “Of course I had a good time, Jared. Best i’ve ever had, if I’m being honest.” 

“Ok good,” he sighed, relieved but trying not to show that you actually had him nervous for a second. 

Another pause. “Did… did you have a good time?” you questioned back at him. 

He seemed almost offended at the question, bringing a hand up to cup your face so that your eyes met his. “Y/N, this was the best night of my entire life. That was perfect. You are perfect. And I’m glad you trusted me enough to do that with you.” 

You felt your eyes sting slightly, emotions running wild. You considered yourself the luckiest girl in the world to be with Jared Cameron. Not only was he totally gorgeous, but kind, hilarious, and great in bed. 

In an effort to switch the tone back to a more playful one, you replied, “Yeah, well I was promised some more fun involving real lube and a real bed so…” 

He tugged you further into him, wrapping his arms around you in a way that made you think he might never let go. He laughed, and said “Oh, you just wait.” 

[whosscruffylooking]

Promotion (Aaron Hotchner x Reader)

oh geez...this is my first time ever publishing my writing, especially a reader insert. a little cheat sheet: any time the writing is in bold and is italicized, it’s the readers inner monologue (aka my thought process while writing 🤪)

Warnings: None. Angst? Maybe? And then some fluff at the end.

Words: 1.4k

“Although Freud said happiness is composed of love and work, reality often forces us to choose love or work.” -Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Perhaps it was the speed at which his heel was tapping against the floor of his office, the pale color of his knuckles as his grip tightened around his pen, or the way he anxiously kept running his hands through his hair.

God, I'd love to run my hands through his hair. Now is not the time.

For the past twenty minutes, you've found yourself captivated by your boss's troubled appearance. Aaron Hotchner is notorious for being stoic and virtually unreadable. He once stared down the barrel of George Foyet's gun and boasted that he wasn't afraid of him. But here he was, visibly distraught, and all you want to is run to his aid. That's all you've wanted to do for the past three years that you've been a profiler with the BAU.

In all fairness, Aaron was a very closed-off man. He rarely brought his work home with him and never brought his home life to work. Somehow though, you've managed to break that barrier. Even if only slightly. You'd been there for him in his darkest hours, refusing to let him push you away because you knew that if you'd allowed that, he'd suppress himself to death.

Much to your surprise, he didn't put up much of a fight. Instead, he opened himself and his home up to you. He let himself be vulnerable, and he let you help him explore the dark inner workings of his mind. You did so without trepidation, and slowly, you found yourself falling in love with him. You knew the feelings weren't reciprocated, though. At least, you told yourself that. In some twisted way, you'd reasoned that if you refused to acknowledge that he may feel the same, it would make it easier to deny yourself the ability to love your superior. It's wrong. Unprofessional. It could only end in disaster.

Yet, here you are, timidly knocking on the door to his office. Your heart is beating out of your chest, your hands clammy, your teeth drawing blood from your bottom lip.

"Come in," his husky voice mumbles.

Opening the door, you make your way to the chair across from him at his desk. You cross your legs and anxiously pick at the skin around your nails. He looks up from his paperwork, his bloodshot eyes meeting yours, "Can I help you?"

You swallow the lump in your throat, "I can tell somethings wrong, Hotch. You finished your reports an hour ago, and for the past twenty minutes, you've been staring at the same piece of paper, agonizing over it. I haven't seen you like this since-"

Since the divorce papers.

You shake your head, choosing to gloss over that thought, "Is everything okay?"

Silence pierces the air. A pit forms in your stomach. A glossy haze clouds Aaron's eyes, and a small gasp escapes your lips as you notice it.

"Aaron? Aaron, what's the matter? What's on the paper?"

"It's my letter of recommendation for you. You've been chosen as a candidate for the Counterintelligence Division."

You freeze and stare at him with wide eyes. Unable to gather your thoughts or formulate the right words, or any comments for that matter, you sit in silence with him.

Wait. His eyes were watering. Why would he be tearing up?

He's the Unit Chief; his job is to lead his team and hopefully mentor them into a position where they can advance when fit. In fact, he told you after your first year with the unit that he could see you achieving the goal of progressing to Counterintelligence and eventually to FITF.

Is he not happy for me? Proud of me? Of course, he is. He's always wanted me to succeed. This couldn't possibly be because...oh. Me too, Aaron. Me too.

You take a deep breath. Someone has to break the silence...again.

"When would I find out whether or not I got the promotion?"

"First, you would go through a series of interviews and tests before solidifying your position. My recommendation is merely to give my stamp of approval for your transfer."

You let out a stumbled scoff, "Right. You are just giving me your permission to leave. And that's what you want? For me to leave?"

He furrows his brow, "That's not what I meant. You know that."

"Do I, Aaron?"

The honorable and upright team leader reluctantly turns the piece of paper around, pointing out the empty signature line.

"This is what I've been agonizing over. I'm torn y/n because, on the one hand, all I want is for you to live your life with no regrets. To achieve all that you've worked so hard for. And on the other hand, all I want is for you to stay here with me..." he stutters, "With us. The team."

Did SSA Aaron Hotchner just say he wants me to stay with him?

A pink hue paints his cheeks, and you feel yours heat up to match his. You're in disbelief. In one night, it's as if all of the things you've ever wanted have come to fruition, and yet you realize that you can't successfully have them all. Being in Counterintelligence would take you away from your home, your family, the man you're in love with. But if you stay with the BAU, you can only imagine the repression of dating your supervisor; Strauss would not make your life and job easy. You need to make a choice.

Tears sting your eyes, and you can feel your heart yearn for the man sitting across from you.

"Aaron, can I do something wholly unprofessional and beyond all sound reason?"

Aaron narrows his eyes, trying to read exactly what your motives are; his posture straightens as he recognizes your shared longing. He quickly nods and stands up. You mirror his actions and meet him halfway.

Whoa. He's tall. Very tall. And his face is very close to mine.

With bated breath, you gaze into each other's eyes as if asking for permission one last time. It's now or never. As if in complete synchronization, you both lean into one another, claiming each other's lips. He gasps softly, earning a slight chuckle from you. Your entire body tingles, and his hands find their way around your waist, squeezing your hips softy.

He's good at this. Too good. I'm not complaining though.

It's as if his lips are a paintbrush and yours are his canvas. You should pull away, but you're being held captive by his touch. It's as if you both have been starved for year's and your hunger is finally being satisfied. Nothing could taint this moment.

Except...lungs. Stupid, lungs gasping for air.

Forced to separate yourself from him, you touch your forehead to his, determined not to break all contact.

His smile glistens as a small laugh escapes his lips, "You have terrible timing. I had finally convinced myself to sign the document."

You adamantly shake your head, "No. No, I don't want you to sign it. I want to stay. Stay here with the team. I want to stay here with you."

He clears his throat, his voice hoarse, "This job opportunity is too good to pass up y/n."

"No, Aaron Hotchner, you are too good to pass up," you say, pressing your palms to his chest and peering into his beautiful chestnut eyes.

"Well then," he pushes a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, "Looks like I get to boss you around for a little while longer." A devilish smirk spreads across his face.

"Not too fast. I do have an idea of something else you could sign for me."

"And what's that?"

"A check for a raise?"

A hearty laugh echoes from his chest through his office, "I'm gonna kiss you again instead."

"Oh yeah?" You smile, lacing your fingers around his neck.

"Oh yeah." He encloses his lips on yours once more.

It's in that moment when his scent is filling your lungs, his touch imprinting on your skin, and his lips leaving you addicted and craving more that you realize you made the right choice.

No job or promotion could ever give you the feeling you have right now in Aaron's arms. You have never felt more alive than you do exploring your love for Aaron. The best promotion is going from being on the outside of his life to being the one that fills his heart.

[pandaluc]

Warm Weekends

In which after a busy week, you get to spend your weekend together with your Genshin lover

Characters included: Lisa, Diluc x g!n s/o reader

Warnings: mentions of drinking, did not proof-read

Lisa

8:30 am... You are woken by your girlfriend, Lisa, the very well-known librarian in Mondstadt. "Good morning cutie~" she tells you with a smile on her face. Just by that moment, you felt so lucky to have Lisa as your lover. You decided to spend a few minutes tugging yourself on her chest, your arms hugging her close to you. You cherish these moments a lot, and so does she. Her head on top of yours, sometimes kissing the crown of your head. One of her arms are rubbing your back, and the other playing with your hair which feels so soothing.

9:00 am... The both of you stand up, together fixing your bed. She would comb your hair, and you comb hers. Doing so, you shower each other with compliments as well as some flirting here and there.

9:15 am... You and your lover make your way to the kitchen and start to cook breakfast. Lisa is a vegetarian so the both of you decided to make Satisfying Salad to eat this morning. After cooking, you then will offer Lisa a seat on the table. "How romantic of you, dear". While eating, the both of you discuss about how your week was. After eating, you would wash the dishes while Lisa cleans the table up and store left-overs if there are any.

9:53 am... You then take a bath with Lisa. Nothing suggestive happens. The baths you do with her are simply sweet and relaxing - it makes the both of you feel at peace. She would wash your hair, you would help her soap her back. Both of you would compliment each other about your looks. You love taking baths with her because she makes you feel accepted, secure and safe. Baths with her are indeed fun. After taking a bath, the both of you will then brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put on clothes together. Sometimes, you get to choose what she wears for the day. Today, you decided to wear a couple shirt with her. It is rare after all to see Lisa in a simple, comfortable clothing

10:34 am... You and Lisa make your way to the library, not to do work in the weekend but rather to have a library date. The both of you love to read, and well, if you did not love to read before, she definitely influenced you to do so. While reading, you both would discuss about history and theories about Teyvat and Celestia. Both of you found it fun.

1:43 pm... After reading and contemplating about the world, both of you go to Sara's Good Hunter and order some food. For today's late lunch, you ate Vegetarian Abalone with her. Some people would stare at the both of you, not to creep the couple out or anything but rather because you two look so good and cute together. At first, you were uncomfortable with the stares. But later on, you got used to it and came to the realization that you are just indeed so lucky to have Lisa as your future wife.

2:39 pm... After eating, Lisa decided that the both of you could take a walk outside Mondstadt to perhaps reconnect with nature. You and Lisa then go outside Mondstadt to travel. The both of you would go pick up flowers to give each other, admire lakes or waterfalls and go on top of a mountain to do some sightseeing. While gathering Cecilias, and some big leaves and strings, you then make a boquet to give to your lover on a mountain peak as the sun sets. It is simple, yet romantic. Very romantic. Lisa then somewhat felt bad because she did not have such gift to give to you even if you assured her that it is alright. As a result, she simply took a Windwheel Aster, cut some part of the stem, and put it on your ear.

7:22 pm... You both went back to the comfort of your home, and made Radish Veggie Soup to eat as your dinner. You and Lisa were exhausted from your date. Even so, you wish that Lisa enjoyed the date as much as you did. While her wish was to spend more time with you like this, instead of being busy doing librarian things and helping the Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius even if she is not part of the Knights.

8:13 pm... You both wash up, wore your pajamas and prepared yourselves to sleep. Hugging each other, and talking about your day as you and Lisa drift to sleep.

"Thank you for today, darling. I really appreciate it. If only we get to spend more times like this together... I hope we do so in the future before our time comes. I enjoy your company so much, dear. Thank you. Good night."

Diluc

7:30 am... You woke up before Diluc did, giving you a chance to admire his beautiful face. Him being at peace, not worrying about anything, made you happy. After all, you rarely get a chance to see him like this. You planned to cook him breakfast, and so tried to get out of bed to make your way to the kitchen...well, tried. Diluc is a light sleeper so no matter how careful you were, your lover woke up because of your motions. You apologized and told him to continue sleeping. You continued to get out of your bed but Diluc wrapped his arms tightly onto you, pulling you back to bed with him. "It's alright... but please stay on bed a bit longer with me."

8:30 am... You ended up sleeping with him for an hour longer. It was hard for you to resist his morning voice, and his peaceful look asking you to stay. After falling back to sleep, you then woke up just to see your boyfriend's loving eyes admiring you while his fingers stroking your hair. "Good morning, dear", he says. You can't help but gently smile, realizing how lucky you are today to be able to spend a morning with the love of your life.

8:40 am... After a few minutes of cuddling (just like the touch starved the both of you are), you then decide to start cooking as Diluc fixes your bed. You decided to cook a dish named "Pile 'em up". The maids in Dawn Winery told you that they could cook breakfast for you and Diluc instead. But you insisted that you can do the cooking for today. This dish you are cooking is a dish that Diluc recently taught you, and so apparently is Diluc's specialty. It was special for you. It had a very nice smell, therefore, your partner recognized the dish your cooking. He then went to the kitchen, and hugged you from behind. His eyes staring at the dish, satisfied at your work.

9:11 am... You and Diluc ate breakfast together while talking about work and basically asking each other's life so far. Diluc would tell you stories about his batman Darknight Hero duties while you compliment him about his determination and hard-work. Mornings like this are very appreciated by you and your lover. It's a shame that in most days, Diluc would be working while you are eating alone at this hour.

9:43 am... After eating, you both took a bath. Unlike Lisa, you and Diluc doesn't really take baths together. As we know, Diluc is quite a reserved person. Don't get him wrong, he would like to take a bath with you...but is afraid to ask you about it since he does not want you to be uncomfortable. Poor boy, taking a bath with him is also one of your desires.

10:22 am... You often finish taking a bath before Diluc does. What do you expect? A man like him won't allow himself to go out with a single slightest dirt in his being. While waiting for him to finish, you comb your hair and wear your clothes. And once Diluc finishes taking a bath, you make him sit on a chair in front of a mirror to comb his hair in which you can't help but think what shampoo and hair care does this man use.

10:53 am... It may be a weekend, but the world sadly does not stop time and duties for the both of you. Though Charles often handles Angel's Share, he was given a day-off by Diluc because of Charles' personal matters. Since it is quite rare to have a day where you and Diluc can be together, you decide to go help Diluc in his tavern. Diluc was opposed with this idea at first because drunkards can really be a hassle, but you pleaded way too much that your lover can't just refuse anymore... look at the power you hold. You and Diluc then walk to Angel's Share, people staring and some one (to be specific, Donna.) death glaring at you with tears. You didn't mind anyways. Having Diluc as your boyfriend is a huge flex after all.

11:20 am... The two of you arrive in the tavern, cleaning it before opening. You can't help but stare at Diluc as the both of you wipe the tables. Diluc notices, and exchanged glances with you. He slightly smiles and walk up to you, putting his arm on your back. Pulling you to a kiss on the forehead.

11:30 am... Angel's Share opens. Since it was still morning, only two people came. Whenever these two drunk people gets too close and touchy with you, Diluc would realize and see your face full of discomfort. Diluc would then glare at them, enough to scare them and stop.

12:40 pm... You and Diluc close the doors of Angel's Share for a lunch break. You go to Sara to order food, as Diluc stays in the tavern cleaning the mess the drunk people made. You come back to the tavern with food as you lock the door. The two of you, then, eat on the counter. Everything about Diluc is truly admirable, so you can't help stare at him as he eats. Lucky you, he thinks the same of you. He adores it so much when you eat, especially when you try to cut the meat and struggle.

1:21 pm... You unlock the doors in the tavern, and start to receive customers. It may be an afternoon, but it is a weekend and Diluc is planning to close the tavern earlier today. Diluc starts to mix up drinks, while you take customers' orders and clean tables. Customers that are rude won't be avoided, they are drunk after all. If they get too rude, especially to you, Diluc would make up an excuse to kick them out. While cleaning tables, you'd catch Diluc staring at you. Whenever Diluc realizes that you notice his stairs, he quickly looks down at the glass he is cleaning with a faint pink blush on his face. how cute. This is basically your date. It's not the often romantic dinner dates, but you still appreciate and have fun. Knowing more about Diluc's life is good after all. Besides, you get breaks from time to time so you still get to sit on one of the chairs near the counter and talk to Diluc, maybe even giving him a peck on the lips when you are being called by one of the customers.

6:31 pm... There was only one customer left. Before the night approaches and more people attempt to come in and drink, Diluc quickly kicks the customer out and lock the tavern doors. You help Diluc clean up the tavern. He is the type to give back hugs, so you often receive them as you wipe tables, him kissing the top of your head. After the whole clean-up, the both of you walk back to your lover's mansion.

7:13 pm... You and your boyfriend were greeted by the maids with a fancy dinner set on the dining table. You and Diluc freshen up first, and then together headed to the table. While eating, he'd ask about how was your day. He would also ask you if there were customers who were mean to you or attempted to flirt with you. He trusts you, but in the end, he doesn't want to see the love of his life in a not-so-good condition. He wants you to feel safe and secure around him, and he succeeds on doing so. He wants the best for you. He is always there for you. And he always makes you feel that.

7:49 pm... After eating, Diluc and you wash up before going to bed. You were glad because today, you are able to sleep early with Diluc. Not having to wait for him to come at 3am due to his darknight duties. After being washed up, the both of you lay in bed. It won't be considered as sleeping with Diluc if there are no cuddling sessions for lots of minutes. Asking about if you need or want anything, and if there is something you want to get rid off your chest...what a perfect man. Sometimes, he would be the big spoon. Sometimes, he would be the small spoon. The both of you take turns. After conversations and cuddles, you eventually fall asleep as Diluc watches you sleeping, kissing your forehead and saying...

"Good night darling. I promise to protect and cherish you all my life. Thank you for bringing light to my world. I love you."

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie fanfiction: Playing house (Rated T, Humor) Part 1

In which the ones at the end of time place them in a reality where they are a married couple in a suburban town, à la WandaVision.

Master list of my Loki x Sylvie fanfiction can be found here.

---

They didn't know what to expect at the end of time. But they certainly didn't expect to open the door to the citadel and walk into a town.

"This must be an illusion", Loki says in horror as he takes in his new surroundings- two storied houses in every shade of pastel, gardens of roses, lillies and lilacs, wide open roads, pavements lined with freshly cut bushes. "This isn't real."

It looks real enough though. It feels real too.

This is the quintessential suburban town. And they are in a quintessential suburban house.

"They have trapped us in a nightmare", Loki concludes, scanning the new neighborhood again, this time spotting the children playing tennis in the front lawn of the house next door.

Sylvie touches the door frame with the words "Mr. and Mrs. Low-key" etched in the wood in gold. Her fingers trace the letters. It feels so surreal and impossible, yet it feels just as real as she is. "Apparently, we're married in this reality."

"It's not all bad then", he concludes cheekily.

She gives him a death stare. "I don't have time to play house with you right now."

He shrugs. "Until we find a way out, we have to." He checks out the neighborhood one last time for any identifiable imminent threats, before walking back into the house- their house. Holding the door open, he gestures to Sylvie. "Coming?"

She smooths the wrinkles in the sundress she has ended up with, vowing to definitely kill the bastards that did this.

-

The interior of the house does not suit two gods of mischief at all. It's all very... quaint. The sofa is soft and snuggly, the telly hanging from the velvet painted walls is huge, her wardrobe has way too many dresses and skirts, and the knives in the kitchen look like they'd be hard to kill a man with.

"Can you conjure me up something less-" she vaguely gestures at her figure, her lips arched in an angle that spells distaste.

He understands exactly what she means, but does exactly what he wants. With a snap of his fingers, he conjures up an entire rack of clothes for her.

She checks them out one by one, noticing how every jeans, every top is designed a specific way. "These look very tight."

His grin tells her it's intentional.

"You know I can still wipe that smug look off your face in this reality, right?" Her voice expresses how serious she is.

He waves his hands again, and this time, a second rack of clothes materialises, ones which are more functional.

She picks a jeans and oversized top and disappears into the bedroom.

He plops down on the sofa, staring at the Van Gogh hanging from the wall, wondering what their next move should be.

---

The ring of the doorbell breaks them out of their contemplation.

Sylvie grabs every single knife she can find in the kitchen drawers, Loki grabs the mop. Gesturing to each other, they open the door at the count of three, to find a woman standing there with a casserole in her hands.

"Hiya neighbor", she says cheerily. "I heard that you two just moved in. Oh my, that's a lot of knives."

Sylvie holds one up to her throat. "Who sent you?"

The woman grimaces, keeping her eyes fixed at the spot where the knife touches her skin. "My husband. He thought we should welcome our neighbors."

"Liar", Sylvie barks, and increases the pressure on the knife. "Tell me who sent you here before I cut your tongue out and feed it to the cats."

It's at this moment that Loki decides he has to intervene before the situation escalates to unnecessary murder.

"Sylvie, Sylvie, honey", he coos, slowly guiding her away with a gentle touch to her shoulders. "This lovely woman is not the friend I was expecting." He pushes her inside the house, at a safe distance from the lady, before throwing a charming smile in her direction. "I am so sorry. My friend was supposed to visit, I asked my wife to help me play a prank on her. She thought it was you. It's all a giant misunderstanding. Allow me to apologize profusely on behalf of my wife."

Sylvie switches between glaring at the lady and at her "husband".

The lady laughs nervously. "It's quite alright."

Loki extends his hand. "Hi, I'm Loki." He wraps his other arm around Sylvie's waist to pull her close. She tenses, and for a moment he thinks the knife will end up aimed at his throat, but she relaxes a little and gives the neighbor a tiny smile. "And this is my wonderful wife, Sylvie."

The lady shakes his hand. "I'm Agnes. So nice to meet you. Where are you from? Low-key, that sounds Nordic. Are you from Norway?"

"No."

"Yes."

They answer at the same time, then glare at each other, as if their answer was the only acceptable one.

Loki rushes to fix it before Agnes gets suspicious. "What my wife means is, we are from Norway originally, but we moved here from Alabama."

Agnes smiles. "That's a long way from home. Welcome to the neighborhood."

---

Sylvie erupts the moment the neighbor leaves and their doors are closed. "Why the bloody hell are we playing along with this ruse?"

Loki looks at her seriously. "What is the alternative? Murder our way out of here? Slaughter an entire innocent town?"

"No, no, no no." She paces till she is standing directly in front of him, holding her chin up in a posture of challenge. "Why slaughter a town when you can rule it, right?"

He lets out a sigh. Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, he takes in a deep breath. He needs all the strength in the world to reason with her. He opens his eyes again and begins. "We don't know how we got here. We don't know what dangers are here. We can't plan an escape like that. We need to gather information and learn everything we can about this place."

"This place is clearly hell", she roars, letting out a scream that shoots a wave of energy out of her hands and shatters the coffee table.

"Perfect", he mutters under his breath, as he picks up the mop.

---

"I'm hungry." She announces after an hour of sitting on the sofa, sulking, while going through the hundred different channels and trying to pick even a single thing worth watching.

"Oh yes, me too." He agrees quickly. "Starving, actually."

She motions at the cell phones on the table that the house came with. "I suppose we should order something like humans do."

"Yes, of course." He nods in agreement. He picks up the phone closest to him, swipes up the screen, and sees the wallpaper of him and Sylvie, on a beach, hand in hand, in matching Hawaiin shirts, with matching grins on their faces. He knows this isn't real, this has never actually happened to them, but it makes him smile anyway. Swiping to the side, he notices the phone comes with too many games. There are also apps that he knows from advertisements. Opening one that promised good food in no time, he stares blankly at the incoherent list that pops up.

She gets impatient after a few minutes. "Well?"

He purses his lips. It's difficult to admit defeat. "I don't actually know how to order."

She blinks in disbelief. "What?"

"I don't know how to order food." He repeats.

"How can you not know how to order food?"

"Well, I've never had to do it myself." He says, irritated, before his tone turns boastful. "I've always had someone do it for me." Food was never even a concern in Asgard. On earth, he has always had some human gladly do it for him. No God would ever bother with the trivial details of food ordering.

"Lucky you." She says dryly, before snatching the phone out of his hands. She pauses to look at the wallpaper as well, at the waves and the sand and the two happy people that represent a life that they can have if they choose to. Before the thought can take its root in her mind, she quickly focuses on ordering.

He stares at her in awe. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"I didn't exactly grow up in an Asgardian palace." She rolls her eyes. "I had jobs, Loki. I know how to look after myself."

"I am so glad I'm stuck here with you." He says with a grin. "It makes everything easier."

"It's not that easy. We still need to pay for the food." She points out. Then a horrifying thought occurs to her. "Do we even have money?"

He wants to point out he can just conjure some, but before the words can form in his mouth, she rushes to the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers. He follows, and opens the refrigerator, staring at the inside of the freezer.

"People don't keep cash in the freezer, Loki."

"I knew that." He lies.

She switches to the bedroom, and he follows her there as well. She looks through the dresser drawer, the wardrobe, and searches under the pillow. He looks under the bed.

"Look at us. Searching for money to buy food with. What a shame." He muses out loud. "Mortals used to offer food to Gods."

"Food and virgins." She spits the words out angrily. "I hate these archaic ways."

"Oh, me too, me too." He pretends to agree. He likes being worshipped. He likes the food and the offerings. The virgins? Well, he took virgins in a very different, very alive way, and they were all very willing.

"I don't think we have money in this house." She announces, sitting down on the bed with a huff. "Is this his masterplan? Make us starve to death?"

"Allow me." He snaps his fingers, and wads of cash appears in her hands. This is what he was going to do before Sylvie started searching and he decided it's best to first find out what useful items they have in this house.

"That's handy", she notes. "I suppose it'll be easy for you to do chores around the house."

"I don't do chores." He declares.

She glares at him.

"I don't know how to do chores." He clarifies.

Her glare never loses its edge. "Well you better figure it out soon then, before I cut your fingers off."

---

They eat in complete silence, adjusting to this new reality they have found themselves in. Loki tries to make conversation, tries to tell her a story of banquets in Asgard, but she stares absent-mindedly into the distance, and he takes the hint.

Night arrives quickly.

"I'm exhausted. We should sleep." Sylvie admits. She gets up, ready to change into something more comfortable for the night.

He gets up too, and heads in the direction of the other bedroom. Of course, all he wants to do is snuggle up close to her. He can think of a hundred excuses to talk her into it too. But he holds back. "Well, I wish you a very merry slumber."

She doesn't want to focus on why she does it, but she calls out to him. "We should stick together. Just in case the enemy decides to attack while we're asleep."

He stops in his tracks, smiling like a fool. "I agree. Clever plan."

Ten minutes later, they are both awkwardly lying side by side in bed.

Sylvie stares at the ceiling, at the glow-in-the-dark stickers that are shining. "Is that what people's ceilings look like?"

"Mostly children's."

"The constellations..." She notices. "They're slightly different."

"Yes." He smiles. "This is the view from Midgard, not Asgard."

"Oh."

It's quiet for a while. Loki wonders if she fell asleep. Then he hears her whisper. "I hate this."

"Why are you suddenly acting like this?" He finally asks. "You have been patient your whole life, planning everything for years. You always have a plan, and a good one. Now you're suddenly in a rush to get out of here. Why?"

She doesn't answer. She doesn't even open her eyes. With her focus on the darkness behind her eyelids, it is easy to forget that this is the most peaceful evening she has ever had, that this is the life she always wanted, the life she has been fighting for.

He studies her features, memorizing the way she looks when she tries to fall asleep. Tentatively, he touches her hand. Her fingertips twitch involuntarily, before she responds by taking his hand. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. "We'll get out of here, I promise you."

---

(To be continued)

[drwcn]

so i'm already going to hell in a handbasket so i might as well enjoy the ride. alas, more immortal shifu!zhou zishu and disciple with ill fate in his blood!wen kexing

《yan, like the expanse, unrestrained》

[x]

One day, whilst copying sacred texts under the supervision of his san-shishu Qin Jiuxiao, possibly the most amicable immortal and mentor of Mt. Changming, Wen Kexing asked, "Ruzun (儒尊), you're getting married, right?"

Qin Jiuxiao looked up from his scroll in surprise. Indeed his upcoming nuptial to Jing'an-xianzi was not a secret, but he hardly expected a young welp like Wen Kexing to inquire openly about it.

"Rascal," admonished the immortal, tapping his scroll against the crown of the disciple's head. "Your shifu asked me to supervise while you copy texts as punishment for snoozing in divination, not to indulge you in gossip."

Wen Kexing, seventeen years old then and very mouthy, pulled a face and grumbled something not for polite company.

Qin Jiuxiao sighed. Everyone said Changming Shangxian Zhou Zishu was a stern and cold immortal, timeless and untouchable, without a drop of sentiment in his blood, but Jinxiao thought not. Clearly, for Wen Kexing to be this impertinent, his shifu had to have more than spoiled his only direct disciple.

"Why do you ask?"

Wen Kexing twirled his brush in his left hand and casted a shifty little gaze towards his shishu, "Do you... like Jing'an-xianzi?"

Jiuxiao laughed. "Well I would be pretty foolish, not to mention masochistic, to marry someone I do not like."

"No, I mean like like." The boy emphasized, as if Qin Jiuxiao was slow and could not understand.

"Love?" He teased with a little uplift of his eye brows.

Wen Kexing blushed pink. "...Yeah. I guess."

Jiuxiao offered a genuine smile. "Yes I do, love Jing'an that is. Very much."

Wen Kexing gnawed on the backend of his brush - a terrible, uncouth habit; how on earth is Zhou Zishu allowing this to carry on??? - and asked, almost timidly. "So...if you love someone, love them like you love Jing'an-xianzi, you should...marry them?"

That took Qin Jiuxiao even more by surprise. He blinked, not quite expecting this turn in the conversation. It's not that he didn't know boys Wen Kexing's age got all sorts of funny curiosities of a particular topic in their otherwise vast and empty teenage mind, but there was a glint in those sharp bright eyes that hinted at something...more.

"A-Yan, is there... someone you like? A girl amongst the disciples? Or a boy perhaps?"

Wen Kexing's timidness faded immediately. Scowling, he let out a defensive "No!" and buried his head in his scroll, scribbling furiously.

~~~

That night, over the dinner that Wen Kexing diligently prepared for the two of them (A-Xu, A-Xu, I know you don't need to eat, but I still do, and it's so lonely to eat by myself), Zhou Zishu picked up a chopstick full of mushrooms, placed them in Wen Kexing's plate, and said, "Xiao-Wen."

"Hm?" Replied Wen Kexing as he chomped down on a chicken wing.

"Jiuxiao told me about your question today." Zhou Zishu began seriously, but gave a kind reassuring smile when he saw the raw panic in his disciple's eyes. "Infatuations come and go, but if there's someone you truly adore, do not be afraid to let me know. Immortals often choose not to bother with sentimental attachments, but some still do. I am your shifu, it is my responsibility to see you well settled."

Wen Kexing dropped his chopsticks onto the table with a sharp clang.

"What are you saying A-Xu!? No, no, please don't misunderstand. There's no one!" He clung to Zhou Zishu's sleeve and whined. "And what is this love business, pah! I'd rather train to the highest tier of immortality and stay by A-Xu's side forever."

Zhou Zishu sighed. A decade was not enough to dispel Wen Kexing's bad habit of calling him by his given name. In his disciple's defense, he introduced himself as A-Xu when they first met, appearing as a boy just like Wen Kexing himself. How was the seven year old orphan to know that inside the body of that tanned, scrawny street rat was a spell-bound immortal? To succeed Ye Baiyi as Changming Shangxian, Zhou Zishu had to surpass the rite of ascension and break free of his shifu's spell. He just didn't expect to encounter Wen Kexing and little Gu Xiang in the process.

"Gege, please, my little sister is about to starve to death, please share a piece of your bread with us!"

A-Xiang had been no more than some bones dressed in rags. The mortal region that Ye Baiyi had dumped him at suffered severe famine after cycles of drought and flooding. In his temporarily juvenile and mortal form, Zhou Zishu's stomach had ached from days of hunger, but that pair of eyes, big and round and just a little bit too knowing to be sincere (He's concealing a sharpened iron shiv, Zhou Zishu realized while sizing up the other boy. If I don't give it to him, this kid is going to stab me) convinced him to give up his one dirtied crusty wheat bun.

"I'm Wen Kexing. What's your name?" He had asked that night whilst the three of them huddled around a fire Zhou Zishu had started.

"I'm Zhou...Zhou Xu."

"A-Xu, I just want to stay here, at Mt Changming, at this manor, with you." Wen Kexing boldly reached for his hand and grasped it.

A twinge of something...frightening stirred in his chest. Pulling back, Zhou Zishu chastised, "Don't be silly. Sooner or later, you'll find your own place in the world. Nobody stays with their shifu forever."

He picked up his chopsticks again. "Now eat before your food gets cold."

Translations:

san-shishu - third martial uncle

xianzi- immortal/fairy (female