#chief/dan my beloved ehehe

[einsatzzz]

Yayyy!! i finally have some time to read this! I love how we both came crawling out battered after answering e/o's asks hahahaha we will not be defeated by evil snippets or drawings or wips!

Me google searching what exactly a mousy brown hair color looks like and it turns out its beautiful actually? dave what are you on abt?? on the other hand, he's seen that hair color all his life at that time so being bored of it is understandable tbh changing ur hair color def adds a lot of spice to ur life and keeps u going as well!

Also haha I expected Dave and Bel to be such troublemakers when tgt, but I didn't expect that portion where Dave gets to curb his homicidal tendencies 😮😮😮 tho from a victim pov, especially an enemy…. rip bozo to them if they wanted a quick death jhvfsahfvhsvd

And then finaly their first meeting! 👀✨ I wish I could post comments for more of the lines, but I'll pick a few!

Apparently working for ten months straight without a break is “unhealthy” and “terrible for the skin, just look at those wrinkles Dani-boy”. Which is ridiculous in his humble opinion--

Dan!!!! Take a vacation!!! Take the Tylenol!!! Please!!!

Nevertheless, Dan is left with no other choice than take the day off--

Whew, ok a day off, not a full vacation but baby steps!

ALSO KJJSBFHSDBF not the slander on Dave's dyed hair lmaooo

It would have been funny and something to laugh over with Squalo over coffee

hehehehe 👀✨ nods

Also I really love the trope(?) when someone gives another person a countdown and when they question it, they just continue counting back down 😆🤣 its so funny to me whenever i see it, just like this with dan XD

Anyway this is such a hilarious first meeting, if I were Dave i'd be so fond of Dan too because of this hehehe tho it would be embarrassing too bc first impression is literally being in a beaten up and bloody condition hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you so much for writing a whole snippet for my ask aaaa 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖✨✨ i read this while taking a break from studying and it gives me strength! It's such a fun read, I love comedy sm jhvhdfdsh Keep on being an amazing writer and a legend too Lix! One of these days you'll see me raid ur ao3!

I have some questions for Dave this time hehe

What was his first meeting with Chief like?

What was his original hair color?

I wonder if he gets along with Bel?

*crawls out of trenches, bloodied and covered in mud*

"I-" *huff* "I have fought in war and it was close but! I HAVE WON! The evil snippet has not defeated me!"

So now, I can finally answer this!! I'm sorry that it took so long Ein 🫠🥺🥺please forgive my tardiness 😣

Let me satisfy your curiosity!

Original hair color

Dave's hair used to be this really mousy brown and it just wouldn't do! No! He refuses! It was boring and common and absolutly clashed with his vibe so it needed to be adressed immediately. He bleached his hair the first time when he was 14 and it turned out horrible but he was still happy with his shitty dyejob because at least it was unique!

Dave and Bel

Do they get along? Ohhh boy, honey they get along like a house on fire! Dave and Bel often team up for pranks and mischief (Levi is one of their regular victims lol). Surprisingly Chief doesn't actually mind this relationship mostly because Dave tends to curb Bel's more ... homicidal tendencies. Dave prefers leaving his victims alive (though there's no guarentee for their sanity) mostly because killing them would limit his options for pranks. So when Dave and Bel plan mischief Dave puts his foot down about murder.

First meeting

As for that question....

Have a snippet!

The world is undoubtedly cruel. Criminally unjust. Life is filled with hurdles and hardships, with unimaginable challenges and dreadful chores.

Dan has been kicked out of his own office by an overly worried Lussuria.

(Honestly, the audacity of his doctor, the inhumanity. He is seriously considering a lawsuit.)

Apparently working for ten months straight without a break is “unhealthy” and “terrible for the skin, just look at those wrinkles Dani-boy”. Which is ridiculous in his humble opinion, he doesn’t have wrinkles. His skin simply has more character, more definition, that’s all. No wrinkles here, just a well-developed background story edged into his outer shell.

Nevertheless, Dan is left with no other choice than take the day off since he doesn’t want to deal with Lussuria drugging his tea again. One time was more than enough.

Well, at least he can use this opportunity to finally get some shopping done. His sister Is going to skin him alive if he shows up empty handed to her birthday again. Finding the perfect jewellery set to make up for his blunder took him some time but now he can at least cross that off his list.

He is slandering down the empty streets, enjoying the sunshine on his face, when his peaceful musings are interrupted by a body landing right in his path.

…

What?

Dan must have committed war crimes in his past life, it’s the only explanation. His former self probably kicked puppies for fun and slaughtered babies in their sleep because he can’t even take a stroll in the city without someone throwing bodies at his feet.

Puzzled and slightly annoyed Dan takes a closer look at the young man sprawled in front of him.

The first thing that catches his eye is the absolutely garish shade of neon green decorating the top of his head. Whoever did that dye job needs to be fired. His hair isn't the only thing that needed fixing though. He’s covered in bruises and dirt, blood is dripping from his nose and - Dan squints - is that a tooth on the pavement? Yes, it is. … Gross. Hopefully the guy knows a good a dentist.

The sound of footsteps alerts him to the arrival of even more people. Dan inspects the newcomers in irritation. There are three of them, all clad in ill-fitted suits, hair slicked back and fake gold rings on their fingers, making them look like stereotypical comic mafia goons brought to life. It would have been funny and something to laugh over with Squalo over coffee if said goons hadn’t interrupted his quiet afternoon with their petty disputes.

What a drag.

“You have five seconds.”

“Hah?” Goon #1 sneers at him, somehow turning even uglier in the process. “What do ya want, shrimp? Don’t ya see we’re a little busy here.”

Only sheer willpower prevents Dan from inspecting his nails in disinterest. Instead, he crooks an eyebrow, giving the idiotic trio his best deadpan fish stare.

“Three seconds.”

Goon #2 spots the Varia emblem on his hoodie and the Cloud clocks the moment he recognises what it stands for. He shakily points at Dan’s chest. “U-uhm… boss?”

“What?” Goon #1 snaps, but his gaze follows his friend’s finger and all colour leaves his face. “V-v-varia?”

Dan puts his hands in his hoodie pocket and smiles. “You rang?”

The way they freeze like a deer in the headlights. How they start quaking in their knock off designer shoes when realisations dawns upon them. The fear in their eyes.

Ah… making grown men piss their pants with a single look never gets old.

“By the way,” Dan drops his smile, his voice turning ice cold. “Your time is up. Better start running, boys.”

One would think that the Vendice are on their heels with how fast they scrammed.

Now, with that sorted.

Dan looks back the stranger who’s still lazing on the street. “You okay?”

“U-uhm yes…” he stutters with wide eyes that are filled with something uncomfortably close to awe. “Thank you so much.”

Feeling slightly awkward now, Dan avoids his shining gaze. “Don't mention it.”

“But-”

“Seriously don’t,” Dan interrupts him, combing a hand through his hair. He wishes this interaction was over already. He’s no good with shows of gratitude. “You should let a doctor check you over.” That should be enough polite concern, right? “I will be on my way then.”

Dan tries to speedwalk away to avoid further socialising but is hindered by a surprisingly strong grip on his hoodie.

Only his ingrained manners (thanks Mom) prevent him from breaking a hand and escaping anyways, which is probably for the best, the poor guy has enough injuries, no need to add broken bones to the list.

Dan turns around and sighs. “What is it?”

The young man gives him a solid try at puppy eyes. “What’s your name? I’m Dave by the way! You can’t just rescue me like a knight in shining armour and then disappear off into the sunset. That’s not fair at all.” He adds a pout to his pleading expression, which – in Dan’s humble opinion – just makes him look even more pathetic.

“Have you suffered head trauma recently?”

Dave cocks his head, confused. “I mean, one of them kicked my face for a bit but that was nothing, I’m good! They mostly focused on my upper body and limbs.” He lets go of Dan’s hoodie and lifts his shirt up to point at his battered torso in demonstration. “See?”

“Then, why are you spouting nonsense?” Dan takes a step back after he is freed from Dave’s clutches. “Run along and try to avoid getting beat up by shady men in the future.”

The puppy eyes start to fill with fake tears. “But they keep on finding me.”

Dan is suddenly overcome with a desperate need for coffee.

“And that’s my problem, how exactly?”

The responding grin sends shivers down his spine. It reminds him of Bel’s smug smile after he caught another one of his employees in his wire traps.

“Well, all your hard work would go to waste if they came back, wouldn’t it? So, how about you help a buddy out?” Dave winks and it would have been charming if his face wasn’t covered in dried blood. “You can start with your name and we will go from there.”

Dan barely lifted a finger, is this guy on crack? In fact… Is he trying to con him? This feels like a con.

Why did I even bother leaving my room today?

“Look, Dave,” he begins trying to salvage the situation, “if I tell you that Varia Housekeeping is always looking for new members, will you go away and let me enjoy the rest of my day off in peace?”

The other man’s jaw drops like Dan got on his knees and proposed instead of throwing in a job offer as distraction tactic.

Dan takes his surprise as an opportunity to exit the premises once again. This time he isn’t stopped physically but a broken “W-wait” still gives him pause and he reluctantly glimpses back. Dave has dropped his cocky façade leaving behind only shattered pieces and a tiny fragment of hope.

“Please. Tell me your name?”

His voice sounds fragile compared his confident tone before.

…

Dan has always been a sucker for the broken ones, hasn’t he?

Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“You can call me Chief.”

---

Hope you liked the little sneak peak into Dave's mysterious past 😊! Honestly the delay was mostly because that meeting was fighting me with tooth and nail but I managed to get it done!

I feel like I wanted to add something else but I forgot because goldfish brain lol

Anyways keep being awesome like the legend you are Ein!! Hopefully I could brighten your dim days in study hell 💕✨😊