#character/celebrity seeking a sense of connection with them and community in fandoms :/ so i sacrificed a lot of my youth in the process

[onlineufo]

its so sad how at times ive felt more comfortable in parasocial relationships than real ones bc there isnt a fear of potential rejection for any mistake i make

[orionsangel86]

13x18 - Episode Review - *Deep breath now*

Lets just say this ones been difficult. Bucklemming aren’t exactly the deep meta types and any message they put across tends to be about a subtle as a brick to the face so I don’t particularly think there is much to really dig into here. But others may disagree. The episode hit the marks and themes which were most likely laid out by the Showrunner for season specific reasons, but other than that it can go on the trash heap for all I care.

*breaths*

I’m gonna focus on the positives, because there were a few that I want to discuss, from an objective, meta view point, though from an emotional viewpoint I have been raging about this festering piece of shit episode all weekend.

Anyway, positives, positives...

Dean and Ketch and the AU world

Of the three stories being told simultaneously, this was the only one that actually held my interest. Probably because Jensen Ackles and David Hayden Jones have great chemistry and know how to captivate their audience.

I think it is extremely clear now that Ketch is going to get a redemption arc. He carries guilt over what he did for Mary when he always did have feelings for her even if he never admitted them and she would never return them. I think that was made clear in season 12 and now in this episode it seems pretty obvious this is where we are headed:

“And your mother. She’s in danger. I owe her that.” 

Mary is the reason Ketch wants to help, to “wash the blood off his hands” I can see him sacrificing himself to save Mary in the end, thus getting his redemption in death (the only way he should be allowed redemption tbh)

Am I happy about that? Not at all. I still feel Ketch’s return was unnecessary, especially when I now don’t think we will be getting Eileen back. After what Ketch did to Eileen I don’t personally think he SHOULD get redemption, and he should have remained dead after 12x22.

However Ketch is currently being presented as a mirror for both Dean and Cas. He has been a Dean mirror throughout his entire series run, representing Dean’s toxic masculine side and his killer instinct – the monster Dean feels resides inside him. In the past two episodes he has also mirrored Cas with his need to redeem himself to someone he loves (very season 6/7 Castiel) and his insistence at staying behind in the mirror purgatory to do his penance. The healing scene brought this to light quite clearly imo, with Ketch taking the time to take care of Dean even when he tried to brush it off. Ketch was also quite good at being able to read Dean – knowing that there was more to the Charlie thing than Dean let on, but still not actually making the correct assumption.

Ketch assumed that Charlie was a romantic connection, when she was a sisterly connection. The wrong assumptions between romantic and platonic love have been plaguing Dean and Cas for years at this point. I thought it was interesting that this was commented on in the text in this episode – like I said, it’s not like Bucklemming know how to do subtlety.

Moving on to Charlie’s return, I am also on the fence about how I feel about this, but pushing my emotions aside I can see why she was brought back in the AU world. This world is the polar opposite of our world, and without Dean and Sam, all those people who died because of them, survive in the AU. So like Kevin and Bobby, it makes sense that Charlie lives over there.

At first I was angry about Bucklemming somehow trying to redeem themselves to fandom by bringing back Charlie, but after applying some more sensible, less emotional thought to the matter, and speaking extensively with friends about it, I realise this is not the case. I am vaguely aware there has been wank about this point. First off, lets make this clear; Bucklemming don’t give a fuck about fandom and wouldn’t even bother trying to redeem themselves over something that they still celebrate themselves for doing in the first place (Charlie’s death in their own opinion was still a good choice and they still pat themselves on the back for it – fucking assholes that they are). Bringing an AU Charlie into the picture is nothing to do with fan service or trying to win favour with those of us who despise them. They don’t give a fuck. Bringing AU Charlie back was purely because it makes sense in an AU world that works in opposite to this world. It was also for Dean’s development, because whilst Bucklemming don’t appear to give a fuck about Sam or Cas and their story arcs, they do take an interest in Dean’s. Dean is the only character they actually understand and the only character (other than Lucifer) who they seem to like writing for. By introducing an AU Charlie, and having Dean face that Charlie, it will help Dean to let go of some of his guilt over her death. I say this specifically because of this:

DEAN: “I don’t wanna lose you again”

CHARLIE: “that’s not your call”

Dean tried to bring Charlie back with him to keep her safe, but Charlie chose to stay in danger. Just like original Charlie chose to face danger to help Dean back in season 10. It was never Dean’s fault that Charlie died (it was stupid writing) It was Charlies own decision to put her life at risk, hopefully this Charlie can teach Dean a lesson about holding on to guilt and blaming himself and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

This line was also very relevant for Dean in regards to Cas, who Dean has been trying to protect ever since he got him back in 13x05. Dean may have been able to say those words to Charlie, but he has so far been unable to say them to Cas. Yet another example of communication that needs to be had between the two of them. WILL YOU BOYS PLEASE ADDRESS THAT FUCKING ELEPHANT ALREADY BECAUSE ITS MAKING A MESS AND NO ONE IS CLEANING IT UP.

This is why the confusion over what Charlie was to Dean was also so interesting. Because so much of what was said about her is so relevant to Dean and Cas now.

KETCH: “Old girlfriend? Let me guess, she broke your heart” 

...

CHARLIE: “And you were friends with her, me? Her.”

DEAN: “Yes very.”

CHARLIE: “How very?”

DEAN: “She was into chicks.”

CHARLIE: “Oh, I like her.”

Both Ketch and Charlie herself make the wrong assumption about Dean’s relationship with her. Dean has to clarify to both of them. Just like he needs to clarify to Cas and USE HIS WORDS.

The one final point I want to make about the AU world is in relation to the “Commander”. I have seen the awesome speculation post by @charlie-minion​ and I want it to be right. I would love an AU!Cas to appear as I think it would be extremely interesting for Cas’s own development arc, and for Dean’s. I certainly found it interesting that we weren’t given a name, and also thought this angel was far more captivating and memorable than any other random angel we have met in the AU so far. Even Zachariah didn’t really get this much screen time. I hope we see him again anyway, and I hope Charlie’s spec is correct.

Sam and Gabriel – I need you = I need your help

Sam’s speech was honestly one of the highlights of the episode, until Bucklemming ruined it by going back to the fucking porn stars point, but regardless, it was a beautiful moment for Sam, and I did enjoy it:

“Gabriel, you have to dig yourself out of this hole. I know you think it’s safer inside. No more torture, no more pain, no more expectations. I’ve been there. You are nothing like your family, you sure as hell weren’t like your dad, me either. And just like you I got out, or I thought I got out. But then, then my family needed me, and this is my life. No matter how many times I try to fight it, this is what I was put here to do. This is where I make the world a better place, and sure yeah hookers and Monte Carlo sounds great, but your family needs you, Jack your nephew needs you, the world needs you, we need you. Gabriel I need you. So please, help us.”

There is a lot to dig through here, because this is Sam admitting that he has accepted the life he leads. That no matter how many times he tries to escape, he has a duty to the world and to do what’s right. It is somewhat sad to be honest, because unlike Dean I don’t think Sam actually enjoys the job, the hunt, or any of it. But Sam has resigned himself that this is his duty. It does make me wonder about Sam’s endgame to be honest, because it wasn’t a particularly positive speech from Sam’s own point of view. He is much more like Cas in this respect that he sees this as an obligation, as his duty, rather than something that brings him any joy. Both Sam and Cas are similar in that they need to find something else to bring them joy in the life. Dean does get some form of joy out of the hunt and of saving people. Though even he is desperately seeking something more – as many moments over the past few years have shown.

Obviously everyone freaked out about the use of the words “we need you, I need you” but the situation was so extremely different I just cannot correlate the two scenes. Everything about the original Dean/Cas scene was romantically coded. Everything. But nothing about this scene really was. Sam is desperate, he is relying on Gabriel to save them, to help them. He wants to put his faith in Gabriel and you can see the tears in his eyes when he admits this, but Sam’s speech was all about getting Gabriel to help him and the world, whereas the original Dean/Cas speech was all about Dean trying to save Cas. There is a huge difference there, and I cannot see past it. So as much as I am happy for Sabriel shippers who have finally been given some canon to work with after all these years, from a meta perspective, there is nothing romantic about it.  

In fact it only reasserts the continued themes of communication problems between Dean and Cas. Sam uses the word “need” correctly here. He uses it because he does desperately need Gabriel to help them. But when Dean used that word originally to save Cas, just like he used it again in 13x14 “we needed you back” he used it wrong. Dean doesn’t need Cas to help them in whatever world ending situation they have got themselves into, he simply wants Cas by his side, to love, and be loved as who Cas is, regardless of whether Cas is actually useful in the fight or not. The difference between needing a powerful ally (Gabriel) and wanting the love of your life alive and by your side (Castiel).

Other positives from the episode

Anael breaking free from her abuser and basically telling him to fuck off. You go girl.

Ketch once again referring to Cas as “your angel” because like everyone else, Ketch knows there is something more between Dean and Cas.

Asmodeus going up in flames – Kentucky fried style – yes we all got the joke. Ha. Ha.

Charlie is strongly hinted at also being a lesbian in the AU and well, she bloody better be. 

The final scene and seeing the sheer emotion on Sam and Cas’s faces as they watch Dean break down. When does Dean ever really let them see him lose hope like that? It was a difficult scene to watch sure, but it made an impact. I like it that it was Cas that tried to reassure Dean that they would find Gabriel, rather than Sam. Sam regresses to the little brother at that moment. Full of guilt and worry. But Cas does attempt to stand strong and reassure and console Dean. Cas has been framed as Dean’s spouse throughout this entire season, and I thought this end scene was yet another example of that.

Onto the Negatives...

Okay so yeah I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut on these points. But they are going under a cut because I get proper ranty down there. You’ve been warned. Please don’t read any further if you are only gonna get offended and annoyed and come into my ask box to bitch. Sometimes we need to vent about stuff that pisses us off. I suggest you only read further if you are also feeling royally fucked over by these incompetent asshole writers and want to therapeutically live through my rage. If so... enjoy...

First lets talk about Gabriel. Because I’m pissed. I’m SO PISSED about him. I never really gave my opinion on him being brought back after the reveal at the end of 13x13, because I didn’t want to appear too negative at the time and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding his character. I also really hoped that Perez would tackle Gabriel’s backstory last episode instead of leaving it to Bucklemming. Unfortunately that was not the case and like I suspected from the moment we got Gabe back, they butchered him.

So I’m pissed. We can all officially say sayonara to Fanon Gabriel because he is dead, and isn’t coming back, and Canon Gabriel just had his original redemption arc robbed from him.

I actually found it really awful that they even threw that line into the episode “thanks for the redemption arc” Gabe says at the end… because it proves to me that Bucklemming were totally aware that they were destroying Gabe’s original redemption arc by writing his bullshit backstory. So yeah, I’m pissed.

Gabe tricked Lucifer with yet another double, and was “free” to go and spend his time with porn stars. Lovely. He then gets captured by regular boring demons. Like how? And taken to the weakest of the princes of hell to be his milk cow. Again HOW? One of the only reasons I liked Gabriel to begin with was because whilst he was always ambiguous and a tormentor for Sam and Dean, he always had his own moral compass. He punished people who were dicks basically. Assholes who got their comeuppance in horrifically ironic ways. He ran away from his family because he couldn’t stand the fighting, and he chose to side with the Winchesters in the end because he knew it was the right thing to do. The whole point of Gabe standing up to Lucifer was because he admitted back then that he didn’t want to see the world destroyed, that he liked humanity and found enjoyment in it, and that Lucifer and Michael would destroy that. So this new information about him running away and leaving it all up to Sam and Dean makes NO SENSE. He had chosen to stand by them, put his money on them, and then left. His original redemption is now worth nothing. It is no longer redemption. It instead proves him to be a selfish pervert, and nothing more.

The fact that he was then captured by fucking demons and caged by the most incompetent irrelevant demon of all is another massive insult to his character and his power. It again makes no sense that regular demons could even figure out he was still alive where Lucifer and all of heaven couldn’t, and actually have the strength to capture him in the first place.

Then there is the porn thing. Which I think was a gross, irrelevant, unnecessary joke that failed to hit the mark every time it was mentioned. Having him write it on the walls as part of his story when he was clearly traumatised and catatonic wasn’t funny. It was absurd and made me cringe. Someone please explain to me why bucklemming are so obsessed with porn and sex. PLEASE. Do they actually think these jokes are funny? Are they trying to glorify the porn industry? Or do they just like the idea of an archangel being obsessed with human pornography and porn stars? What is this shows fascination with fucking porn stars?! Jesus Christ stop fucking glorifying the sex industry. It has NEVER been funny. NEVER. FFS Bucklemming if you are that obsessed with the fucking porn industry why don’t you quit SPN and go WRITE for the PORN INDUSTRY. Your outdated stupid and nonsensical writing style would probably be suited to pornography. You can write all the ridiculous stories about Lucifer having dubiously consensual sex with sexy female “angels” as much as possible then. You’ll probably have more free reign to add in your own brand of horrific racism in porn as well in that case because god knows you love the busty Asian beauties bullshit.

So now Gabriel is a disgusting, porn obsessed fuckboy who chose surrounding himself with human sex workers over helping to stop the apocalypse. And then completely ruined Sam’s speech by once again reiterating that point as if the fact that they were PORN STARS SAMUEL was enough of a reason for his running away. Whilst Sam was practically in tears. You ruined that moment. No. I’m sorry. I don’t care if you managed to get all access to the fucking playboy mansion, its crude, its gross and it’s demeaning to women. It’s outdated and shouldn’t be a plot point in a show in 2018. This isn’t “Two and a Half Men” and you are not Charlie Sheen. Who was also disgustingly gross and I was glad when that series got rid of him. I mean, is this the kind of character that Bucklemming think their audience is going to celebrate? Applaud? Urgh. Fuck right off with that. Seriously.

So yeah, sure, Gabriel will probably have a change of heart given the synopsis for later episodes, but that is irrelevant now, Bucklemming have fucked over his character. Just like I thought they would. Seriously I wish they would just fuck off and retire already because I am so done with their outdated crappy disgusting story lines.

As for other completely pointless and irrelevant characters, Asmodeus was burned by his own creators. I guess Bucklemming finally realised that they were shit at creating characters who could be even remotely three dimensional and decided he wasn’t necessary for the story. His death has only proven to me what I thought all along: that he was pointless. That he had no significance to the story, no depth, no motivations, nothing. He was one gigantic joke. I’m glad he is dead. Good riddance. You will be forgotten in a matter of weeks.

Next up Lucifer. I have nothing to say about him. Other than that I found every scene he was in cringeworthy beyond belief. To the point that I feel ashamed when watching his scenes because of the terrible poor quality of acting and writing together makes me so embarrassed to call this show my fave. The exorcism had me dying of second hand embarrassment. Are the supernatural creators PROUD of shit like this? It was goddamn awful. The worst piece of crappy filmmaking I have seen in a while. Every scene with Lucifer is like this for me usually though so I shouldn’t be surprised. I want him killed off and done with now. He brings down the quality of the show to abysmal levels. It’ll never win any awards whilst he still exists in its narrative. I have nothing to meta about him. I can’t separate my meta brain from my hatred of everything he is, and everything Bucklemming have made him to be. I just want the show to be done with him – like I want it to be done with his horrifically terrible writers who wouldn’t recognise decent writing if Shakespeare himself rose from the grave and beat them both around the head with his entire catalogue of sonnets and plays.

Overall, it makes my heart ache when I think of episodes like 13x01 and 13x05, which were spectacular examples of the highest quality writing, direction, and overall production I have seen in a while. If ever I was to choose an episode of this show to introduce it to someone who hasn’t seen it before, I would choose either of those episodes. What amazes me is that those episodes exist in the same season as utter shit like this episode, and 13x13. Perhaps I am being harsh, as the Dean/Ketch/AU stuff in this episode on its own worked well. So perhaps it wasn’t so bad, but seeing as everything else brought it down so badly, I just can’t separate them out. I still struggle to wonder why Bucklemming even bothered to have Cas in this episode at all. He was severely underutilised.

I’m just… so done with Bucklemming episodes. I am so done having to sit through their bullshit and try to force myself to find meaning and anything of analytical worth. Yes, I was able to find some positives, yes, I was able to find some stuff to talk about, but it was a struggle. Half the time I wonder if any of that stuff was even intended, and if it was I reckon it’s only because Dabb had to sit there with their shitty script and fix it as much as possible because I know by now that whenever they write anything of any worth, it must be due to someone elses input. I can’t equate the writers who wrote this utter bullshit about Lucifer and Gabriel with the same writers who wrote Dean’s confession in 10x16, or 11x18, or even the Dean/Ketch/Charlie stuff in THIS episode. How can you be so awful and yet still have stuff like this? You must be getting help.

I’m so sorry to those of you reading who disagree with my above assessments - though to be honest I did warn you. I have re-watched the episode a few times now but each time my rage just boils up again. If Dabb doesn’t start putting a tighter leash on these atrocious writers, then this series will fail in quality. It already has to be honest. I don’t see how we can deal with Bucklemming writing the penultimate episode. Knowing that the fucktards who penned this episode are also basically showrunning the mytharc plot is heartbreaking. I adore this show, but if Bucklemming continue to have control, I’ll be tapping out. Destiel or no Destiel. I can’t watch crappy quality. I certainly can’t watch crapy quality destroy something I adore from the inside out. But that is all I see them doing. 

*sigh*

I’m sorry. I hope that Yokey’s episode next week will redeem Supernatural for me. I hope that we will start to get back into the destiel subplot, because tbh I have felt like it has been severely lacking since 13x06, with only a minor reprisal in 13x14. I hope that we will actually get some focus on Castiel again, because I feel like his story has been lost along the way, and right now it seems he isn’t doing anything. We need to explore his own development arc again but I just can’t see it. I can’t see it at all at the moment. I want him to exist for more than just Dean’s freaking guilt and worry. I had such high hopes going into this season, but the further we get into, the more I lose faith and see the mytharc plot like a slowly loosening thread. Dabb needs to pull it all back together, because the longer Bucklemming keep their grubby porn obsessed hands on it, the more it will fall apart. 

I guess we’ll find out soon enough if all our focus and devotion has actually been worth it.