#ch theresa

[ofginjxints]

closed for @midnightsaboteur

"You scared me!" Theresa playfully slapped Darian's arm, she was on a rare break, having an ill-advised cigarette outside when she was approached from behind. It was difficult to date as a nurse and a single mother of a pre-teen. Somehow Darian flirted a little more than deemed casual and the flirting turned into kissing and, well, she was happy to just go along with it. "I thought you were off today."

[ofnewstarts]

@zianramn

"You know as your sponsor you can talk to me about whatever you like. As long as you're not putting yourself or others in danger I'm cool with it. I once had a sponsor who likened it to Catholic confession." Theresa said with a small chuckle as she slid the soda over to Zian. "Have you had a sponsor before?"

[cass1x1]

i like waking up next to you. | noel/theresa :3

@gerrykecy

For a moment, Theresa isn't entirely sure she heard correctly. She is, after all, buried in a tangle of Noel's limbs: their arm wrapped almost entirely around her head, their legs gently pinning to her to the bed. She gives a quiet, "hm?" before her brain catches up.

Immediately embarrassed by her own non-response, she wiggles her face up and out from under their arm so she can, well, breathe and answer properly. Noel seems to notice this and sheepishly draws all of their limbs back into themself, which is the opposite of what Theresa wanted.

"No. Err, I mean, wait." She reaches out tentatively, arm resting on Noel's bicep as lightly as she can. That's probably silly--it's not like she can hurt them, and given that they did just wake up together, it isn't exactly a new boundary for them. But she's feeling a little shy, so she does touch lightly. "I--I like waking up next to you too. It feels..." She takes a moment to pretend to grasp for a word, knowing fully well that she already has the perfect one. "...safe."

"Safe while being smothered?" Noel quirks one of their perfect eyebrows.

Theresa bites down on her tongue, willing herself not to blush. "Well," she starts in what is hopefully a playful tone of voice and not at all childish. "No one else can get me if you've done it first."

Noel laughs, and she can feel the movement of their stomach against her side. She nestles closer, and they take the cue to wrap their arm back around her. "Good point," they sigh. She closes her eyes and feels them press their nose into her hair. "You sure you're good?"

"I'm good," she repeats, tentatively sliding her own arm under theirs and around their waist.

[supraxstcllas]

// honestly sparrow's probably rolling in her grave knowing her kids got manipulated by Theresa to the point where her son became a tyrant and her daughter got pit against him.

if Sparrow ever came back, she would punch Theresa in the face for what she did to her kids. doesnt matter that she's some kind of immortal being, she'd do it.

[foxgirlplushie]

OOOH OC ASKS FOR THE DOC (shhh I've been absorbed in a game and haven't touched Tumblr in.. days? Idfk time is fake) 5, 7, 16 annnnd 19!

5.Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

Less now that they've had time to reacclimate to the landship. They're the kind of person who will get turned around if they don't know a location, but once they have like. 20 minutes to walk around and scout an area? They're never getting lost again.

(also when they do get lost, just keep making left turns and moving forward. Eventually you'll loop back to somewhere you know)

7.Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

I'm going to use a weasel answer and say yes, because one of the strengths of a leader is knowing when to delegate and who to delegate to, and there are many many people in the medical department much better suited to this than Dr Reynardyne.

If they were on their own and absolutely had to, they probably could, but they'd whine about it a lot.

16.How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened becuase of thier Impulsivity or inability to be so?

Very very good. They may make decisions quickly, but they've gotten good at running possibilities in their head and weighing options quickly. Chess tourneys will do that to you.

As for worst possible consequences...(See Fall of Babel, pg. 107)

19..How Dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this?

HEY SHUT UP COFFEE COUNTS THEYRE FINE

[girlsofthemcu]

The Cassidy/ Frost Family ft. Emma Frost-Cassidy, Sean Cassidy, Theresa Cassidy, Callum Frost, Nathan Cassidy, and Sandra Cassidy.

[ofnewstarts]

"Mm, more for the aftermath absolutely. Always liked to be a witness." Theresa said before letting out a bright laugh at Laken's suggestion. "I'm afraid I don't have a pen,"

"A lot of money, huh?" Laken asked, sliding her gaze from Professnore to Theresa and arching one brow, intrigued. "The amount of money directly correlates with how sure I am. Ooooh, do you want to write it on a napkin and slide it over to me like we're in the middle of tense negotiations?"

[ofginjxints]

ctd from (x) @bloomswilds

"Not sure if it's shock or exhaustion at this point." She managed a small, tired chuckle as she nodded. "Impose? Berto - this is your house." She shook her head, touched that he would put her first even in his home. "You're going to screw your back up sleeping on the couch, I promise I won't make a move on you." She teased, the twinkle coming back to her eye as she pulled the duvet aside for Alberto to get in. "Thanks for letting me stay again, you didn't have to, I wasn't even hurt or anything."

[ofnewstarts]

@imogcnlee

"Oh look at you, aren't you the cutest things," Theresa couldn't help but gush over the young twins, but really who couldn't? That being said she swiftly turned her attention to Imogen. "You look amazing, honestly how did you have two babies only six months ago? That being said you also look exhausted. Why don't you go take a nap. I can clean the kitchen and make some dinner."

[cass1x1]

🎶🐷🍔💘🧐 for marisol, adra, and theresa!

marisol

MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

pop! ballads when she's feeling sappy. but it's genuinely mostly pop because she likes to be happy lol. she likes to have music on but doesn't always put it on herself if that makes sense?

PIG FACE — what is your oc’s favorite animal?

ooof great question. i think she's a pretty big fan of jelly fish! she likes that they mostly just kinda hang out and float and look pretty but that if you touch them the wrong way, they can hurt you.

HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

marisol is certified disaster in the kitchen tbh? she can make a few things well enough to like not starve, but she's mostly pretty hopeless. all things considered, the few things she makes well are more cooked than baked.

HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

oh jeez! i mean jude obviously but like she isn't Ready for that i think she's very grateful for the friends she has made on her own merits because it's weird to her that someone would like her for her. also like...idk she has some expensive things that she has amassed or stole from her past life because she is living in a material world and she is a material girl??? maybe like specifically the first thing she bought with her own wages (a little hair-piece-thingy?)

FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional?

emotional for sure but in a calculating way? she's a master manipulator when she wants to be and she often wants to be

adra

MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

i think she has an aesthetic that's like very common with a certain KIND of millennial so like hozier, florence and the machine, king princess. she also has an affinity for like...soundtracks with a certain vibe? like the journey soundtrack? she always has background music on when she's working but never when she's out in the forest or anything

PIG FACE — what is your oc’s favorite animal?

real or fictional? fictional, probably like phoenixes or something. real, probably butterflies/moths and deer for sure!

HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

she's okay. not like incredible but if left on her own, she'd eat okay. she likes to bake more than she likes to cook but she's better at cooking than she is at baking.

HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

her sister, her research, and then like the environment in general. probably in that order

FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional?

logical but with her own weird logic rules. she's not prone to emotional outbursts but her sense of logic is....different than most people, to say the least.

theresa

MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

according to The Lore she's a fan of like top 40 hits from 20 years ago! she likes like sarah bereilles, p!nk, some early emo, stuff like that?

PIG FACE — what is your oc’s favorite animal?

rabbits! she has a rabbit and everything.

HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

she can make Her Foods really well and everything else poorly. as a general rule she is a danger to herself and others in the kitchen but like...she's ok when it's something familiar. she doesn't bake but she wishes she could.

HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

her rabbit. her iPod. idk she's not too attached to material things and she isn't good at building relationships with people

FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional?

emotional i think! not that she's great at either lol she's a mess i love her

[ofnewstarts]

"Mm, certain type of proof." Theresa chuckled once again following his gaze. "Ooh, it has been a while since I've had one of those then. Come on, my treat... I'm Theresa by the way."

Nikhil watched as Theresa took his words to heart and actually glanced back at the teens he’d been referring to. “I’m so glad you have proof to see the light,” he grinned at her, tucking away that information that she worked in the ER either as a doctor or a nurse. But when she asked for how he should be thanked, he pretended to ponder for a moment on what she could do for him before he shrugged, “think of it as my good deed of the day,” he grinned before looking back at the little ice cream cart that was on the boardwalk rolling towards them. “Actually, I changed my mind. I’d love a sno-cone if they have them.” 

[girlsofthemcu]

Open St. Paddy’s Starter - Theresa Cassidy || Open to All

She should have said no. Told the others that she was busy. Or had plans with her Da. Anything to get out of the trip to the bar.

Once upon a time she would have been the first one there. Been at least three or four pints in by the the time the others arrived. Not anymore, though. These days it was different. These days she was trying.

She just wished it was easier...

[alkalische]

theresis and ascalon

theresis and theresa (pre succession) making soup

haha... haha...

[ch 14 spoiler under cut]

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 7

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, bit of smut.

Word Count: 4,813

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: Chapter 7 has arrived. 😊 I hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading, liking, commenting and reblogging this series! It means SO much! ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

Three and a half weeks later

“And these would be beside every tent?” Dean asked Brandy as he looked at the rough drawings she’d made of her latest idea.

She nodded. “Yeah, on the West side of every tent. It would mean families don’t have to come to Food Storage every few days for more rations, and once the deep snow comes that’s gonna be a huge benefit for folks. Plus it’s easier for people to plan ahead and stretch their food if they have two weeks worth of rations sitting outside their tent. I mean, it won’t work once spring comes, but that’s a problem for spring.”

Dean nodded. He looked at their builders, the group of half a dozen survivors that were tasked with providing new buildings and necessities as the camp required. They’d built the sheds earlier in the year, the chicken coop last summer and were currently finishing up a small barn for the cow.

“Is this gonna interfere with completing the barn?” He asked, nodding at Brandy’s drawings. 

One of the women, he was pretty sure her name was Vanessa, shook her head. “No, we’ll be finished with the barn in a couple of days, and be able to get Lily settled for the winter all snug, and then move on to the food sheds.” She looked at the drawing again and shrugged. “They’re small enough that we should be able to get them all done within a few weeks?” 

She looked to the rest of the builders who nodded their agreement.

Dean frowned. “Lily?”

Vanessa grinned. “Yeah, sorry that’s what the kids have dubbed our little cow. Y/N has them going to visit her once a week so Ralph can teach them about farming.” She said, referring to the old farmer who had helped to plant the winter vegetables.

Dean felt his stomach twist as it always did when someone brought up her name. But he just nodded. “Okay, good. Get started on the food sheds as soon as you’re able. The deep snow is gonna come in the next couple weeks. It’d be good to have them all done by then.”

They all gave a chorus of “Okay, Boss” or “Sure thing Boss” as they nodded and took their leave. They wrapped their scarves tight and pulled on their mittens. The deep snow may not have come yet, but the ground was layered in white, and winter was sharp and stinging in the late November air.

Brandy gathered up her drawings and was headed out when Dean called her back.

“Brandy?”

She turned back to him, an eyebrow raised in question. They'd never discussed their meeting in the cabin with Y/N, but he'd noticed a slightly colder demeanor from her lately.

And he knew why, of course. 

Brandy had been one of the original dozen survivors who had built the camp together. She'd been an incredible asset from the beginning, and they probably wouldn't have survived without her planning and strategies for running the camp. He and the soldiers may have kept the survivors alive, but Brandy kept them living by organizing and planning for their food and shelter. She was an invaluable member of the camp.

But three weeks ago he'd treated her like a servant meant to do his bidding. He knew he owed her an apology, but it had been so long since he'd apologized for anything that it stuck in his throat.

Now she contemplated him, waiting for him to speak, and he just nodded. He pointed towards her drawings. 

“This is a good idea.” He cleared his throat. “So, thanks.”

Brandy stared a moment longer before a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. She nodded.

“No problem, Boss. That's what we're all here for, right?”

Dean just nodded and she lifted her scarf over her face and left the big cabin where Dean conducted most of his business these days, since it was warmer than his tent and could fit more people.

As he ran a hand over his face, the door opened again and most of his soldiers tromped inside. They were there to talk about security and possible threats, but Dean immediately looked at Johnston. 

“Hey, did you tell her I want to see her?”

The thin man nodded vigorously. “Yes sir. I told her yesterday. Has…has she not come to see you yet?” He looked around the room as though Y/N might be hiding somewhere. 

Dean shook his head. “No, she hasn't.” He pointed towards the door. “So why don't you go get her and tell her I expect to see her now.”

Johnston looked wary and as though he definitely didn't want to follow that order. But when Dean just stared him down, he turned and left quickly.

The rest of his soldiers began giving their reports about any problems they were having at the outposts, like equipment that needed repair or items that needed replenishing. But Dean was only half listening; his gaze kept straying to the door, waiting for Y/N to show. 

Ten minutes later, Patrick was briefing him and Dean tried to focus on what he was saying. 

“Williams has seen the group twice now, but -” Patrick cut himself off as Y/N and Johnston pushed through the door.

Y/N smiled at the soldiers as she came in. “Sorry to interrupt, but apparently I was summoned.” 

She cut her glance to Dean and her smile turned brittle. 

“I was told you needed to see me.”

“Yeah, since yesterday.” Dean responded, hardening his voice in an attempt to not seem desperate, especially in front of his soldiers.

“Sorry. Busy.” Was Y/N's curt reply. “What do you need?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I just wanted to know how you're -” he altered his words, “your school, or, uh, the school was going?”

Y/N paused for a moment before answering with a shrug. 

“Fine.”

When it was clear that was all she was going to say, Dean scowled at her. “You wanna elaborate on that?”

She raised her chin a fraction. “Oh, I'm sorry, Boss, I don’t have anything else to say right now, but I’ll be sure to write out a full report for next week.”

Her eyes shot daggers that found their mark, bringing a pain to his chest that he felt a lot these days. He’d thought it might go away if he could talk to her, see her, but it was just worse with her there.

He shook his head. “That won't be necessary.” He said quietly.

“Anything else then, Sir?”

He'd never hated that moniker more. “No, that's it.” 

She spun on her heel and walked out of the cabin. Silence reigned when she left. Dean waved at everyone else. “We'll finish this another time.” When they didn't immediately move, he made his voice a bit sharper. 

“Dismissed.”

That got them moving and they all shuffled their way out the door - all except Risa. She closed the door behind her fellow soldiers and then turned back to face Dean. 

He caught her eye and lifted his hands. “What?”

She shook her head slowly. “You're such an idiot.”

Dean dropped his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Wanna try that again?”

Risa shook her head as she walked back to him. “No, I said what I said.” 

Dean gave her a look of annoyance as she reached him and leaned one hip on the table where he stood. She raised her hand to his cheek, her countenance softening. 

“I really wanted to be the one.”

Dean scowled in confusion. “The one what?”

Risa pushed her fingers through his short hair. “The one to make you smile.” There was a long pause between them and Dean had no idea how to respond to that. She shook her head and stood up straight, dropping her hand. “But, it was obviously meant to be her.”

Dean scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“Y/N. You know I'm talking about Y/N.”

He gave a short burst of sarcastic, humorless laughter. “Yeah, right. You think Y/N's gonna make me smile? I've done nothing but pull my hair out since she got here, so ..” He trailed off and looked away from Risa's knowing gaze.

Risa nodded. “Yeah, cause you're an idiot.” She reiterated.

When he looked back at her, Risa was smiling softly and wistfully. “Apologize to her, idiot. Try to get back what you've nearly lost. She's pissed, don't get me wrong, it might take some real groveling on your part but,” she nodded, “she has a very kind heart, so she might forgive you. It's definitely worth a try.”

Dean stared at her for a moment before he looked down at the ground, conceding the truth in her words. “I don't know how to do it.”

Risa gave a gentle laugh. “You're a smart guy. Bet you'll figure it out.”

She put her hand on his cheek again, resting the other on his chest as she stood on tiptoe to reach his lips. She placed a light, lingering kiss there and then pulled away. 

“Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean felt a jolt of worry at the farewell. “You’re leaving? Am I losing a soldier?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, the soldier is staying. I'm saying goodbye to the woman I wanted to be for you. And the man that she…cared about a lot. I hope he lets himself be happy.”

Dean frowned, feeling the weight of her goodbye, with all of its disappointed hopes. 

“Goodbye Risa.” He said, and knowing it wasn't enough, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her lips, light and brief. “Thank you…for being the woman you are.”

He thought he saw a glimmer of moisture in her eye, but she blinked it away quickly and pulled out from under his hands. She moved to the door in a few strides and, with one last smile thrown over her shoulder, she walked away.

***

That afternoon as the winter sun headed into the west, Dean made the decision to go talk to Y/N. This was ridiculous. They were a camp of less than 150 people, continuing to try and avoid each other was impractical.

He'd just go tell her that.

He walked to the school because she was usually still there this time of day. But when he got there, the schoolroom was empty. He looked around the space that he hadn't seen in over a month and had to shake his head.

What had been a cold empty shed not even three months ago was now a warm, inviting, cozy space. She'd had a little camp stove installed, and on the Northern wall, replacing the fall leaves that had been there, was a giant, beautifully sewn quilt. He recognized it as the same design as the one that hung in the big cabin. 

Hannah, who was Ralph-the-farmer's wife, had made it out of old scraps of material. It took a long time to gather enough scraps for a whole quilt so he knew this quilt probably took her months of hard work. But of course she'd gifted it to Y/N and the school. That's what Y/N brought out in people - hard work and generosity.

The small wooden table in the room had four chairs around it now and he wondered where she'd snagged the other two chairs. 

The kids’ blanket seating had been enhanced slightly with the addition of a few pillows, and on the western wall, beside the old map, two long, weathered planks of wood had been nailed in place to serve as bookshelves. The books he'd brought back had been placed lovingly on the shelves, not a single corner bent on any of them. 

He sighed at the changes and felt a warmth flare to life in his heart. Y/N did this too - seeming to warm the spaces around her without trying.

He walked out of the schoolroom and was just starting to walk back to his tent when he heard high pitched giggles coming from the side of the school just seconds before three small bodies hurtled forward, chasing and grabbing on to one another - Emma and her two little friends. He couldn't remember their names.

When they all saw him, the laughter fell away and Emma's eyes got wide, fear and suspicion filling them instantly. It felt like a punch when he remembered the way she'd climbed up on the chair beside him that one time, shy acceptance in her expression as she asked him to read to her.

He hated that she was so scared of him; he had to try and fix that much, at least. 

“Hi girls.” He said in what he hoped was a friendly sounding voice. Emma's friends nodded and waved at him slightly. But Emma stayed on high alert.

He looked at her two friends. “I need to talk to Emma, so you girls head on home now.” 

They looked to Emma who looked more scared than ever. But she whispered goodbye to them and they ran off.

Dean got a bit closer to her and went down on his haunches. He took a second to think what to say to her.

“You know, you don't have to be scared of me.”

“I'm not.” Emma said quickly while her big blue eyes were shrouded in fear.

Dean nodded. “Okay, good because…” He struggled to find the words that would help. “Cause I thought maybe I scared you a bit before. When I, uh, needed to talk to your mom alone.”

Emma nodded, the suspicion growing in her gaze. “When you were mad at Mommy.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I wasn't mad.” 

Emma gave him a look that said she didn't believe him and he conceded with a nod. 

“Okay, I was a little…upset, but I was just…confused. Eventually everything got figured out.”

She didn't say anything, clearly still highly skeptical. 

Dean took a deep breath and decided  to just go for it. “Anyway, I didn't mean to scare you and I'm…sorry about it.” He cleared his throat. “And I promise not to scare you like that again. Okay?”

Emma stared at him for a long time and he kept hold of her earnest blue gaze throughout her scrutiny. Slowly a smile spread across her face.

“Okay.” She said, accepting him at his word. “Then can you come over again for supper tonight? I can read a bunch of words now, mommy taught me in the books. So, I could help you read the story this time.”

Dean shook his head at the speedy ways of forgiveness in a child's heart, and for the first time in more years than he could remember, a small smile turned up one side of his mouth. 

He reached out to pat her cold cheek. “I'm not sure, kiddo. We'll have to wait and see.” Emma was about to argue the point but Dean stood up. “Now it's gonna be dark soon and it's way too cold for you to be out here without a scarf. Don't you have one?” He asked.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, but I don't like it. It itches.”

Dean hummed. “Ah, yeah wool does that sometimes.” He unwound his own scarf from around his neck.

“Here, I'll trade you.” He said as he wound the polyester scarf around her neck and up over her cheeks. “Now, you head home.”

Emma's eyes were bright and happy above her new scarf as she danced away, skipping through the light snow that blanketed the ground.

He watched her go for a moment before turning back to head home himself. But he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Y/N standing in the path with an arm full of wood. Silence reigned for nearly a full minute. Finally he reached forward to take the wood, but Y/N shook her head.

“No, I’m fine.” She nodded toward the school. “Just stocking up for tomorrow.”

“Right.” 

More silence. Y/N’s voice was quiet when she finally spoke. “Thank you for the scarf. It’s been impossible to get her to wear one.”

He nodded and then realized something. “How long were you standing there?”

Y/N took a deep breath, answering on an exhale. “Since just before you promised my daughter not to scare the shit out of her again.”

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. “So, basically the whole time.”

“Yeah, basically.” She took a beat pause. “Thank you for that.” 

Dean nodded. She walked towards the school again but before she could close the door and shut him out, Dean called to her, knowing his voice sounded desperate.

“I needed to believe it.”

Y/N turned in the doorway, a frown on her face. “Needed to believe what?”

He took a step closer, feeling choked by all the words he wanted to say that wouldn’t form properly in his mind. Y/N stared at him for a moment more before huffing slightly and walking into the schoolroom. He followed her inside, closing the door against the wind as she dropped the pile of wood into a metal bucket by the stove.

When she turned back to face him, she was scowling. “Dean, I don’t know what you want here. What do you want me to say?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want her to say anything. He wanted to say things, so many things. “No, nothing.” He croaked out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, bunching up her too big jacket. “Then what are you doing here?”

He took deep breaths in through his nose, pushing the words out through a closed throat. “I needed to believe it.” He said again, quieter this time.

“Believe what?” Y/N asked in frustration.

He stepped close to her and she took a step back before refusing to retreat. He gazed at her and wished more than anything that she really could just see inside his head so he wouldn’t have to try and get it out.

But he looked at the ground quickly and then back at her. His breathing was slightly labored and his voice was thin as he spoke. “You’re so dangerous to me, Y/N.”

He knew he said the wrong words when her forehead wrinkled into a deep frown and she nodded. “Because - I’m a psychic monster? Or because I’m a croat? Why exactly am I dangerous this time?”

“Because you’re you.” Dean answered loudly, speaking over the end of her question. He sighed in frustration; he was getting all of this wrong. He looked up to the heavens, as though they could possibly help him, and tried again, speaking softer.

“I needed to believe that you could control my mind or my…my feelings because…” He trailed off and looked at Y/N hoping she’d just know what he was saying and finish the sentence for him. But she was still just frowning in confusion.

“Because,” he continued, “my feelings when I'm around you are…dangerous. For me, I mean, they’re dangerous. Y/N I can’t…” He shook his head. “The way you look at the world? And the way you change how I see it too? It’s so fucking dangerous.”

He waved his hand, trying to encompass everything. “This world is ugly and shitty, and fucking ended! We literally lived through the end of the world, and now all that’s left is this - this dark, violent, bullshit reality.” 

He shook his head and his voice was filled with awe. “Yet somehow you move through it like this,” again he struggled for the words to describe her, “like some kind of lighthouse, like a refuge for every cold, lost thing. And I - “

He cut himself off, not sure he was making any sense. But Y/N had stopped frowning and was now just contemplating him.

He shrugged. “And when I’m around you, I feel warmer than I’ve felt in years, brighter.” He shook his head and moved away from her, embarrassed by his confession and knowing he wasn't saying it right. 

He stared at the map as he spoke. “So, I needed to believe that the feelings weren’t real, that you’d just forced me to feel that way. Because if the feelings and thoughts you bring out of me are real?” His shoulders slumped. “God, I’m so fucked.”

He felt Y/N come up to stand just behind him on his right, but he stayed staring at the map as she spoke.

“Why? What’s so dangerous about warmth and light?”

His voice was barely audible as he answered slowly. “Because they bring hope. And hope is a lie. It’s a lie I believed for a long time, a lie I clung to. The lie of possibilities, of family, of good conquering evil. And when the lie was revealed and the world fell apart, the truth almost killed me.”

After a moment he turned to face her and felt his heart skip as he saw her expression of sadness and the tears that sparkled in her eyes, even in the growing dusk.

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek and thumbed away a tear as it fell over her bottom lashes. “And Y/N, if I allow myself to hope again, and it gets crushed by the world again…” He shook his head. “I won’t survive it, I know I won’t.”

He took a step closer to her and felt her warmth penetrating his cold bones. She grabbed his free hand and held it in both of hers as he dropped his other hand from her cheek.

“Or…” she said, her voice filled with conviction, “or we can both hope, both fight, and both win. Even if we never get big wins, the little ones still count. And they add up. Every day we’re here alive is a win. Every time we smile at someone and they smile back is a win. Every time the sun shines so bright you have to close your eyes, every time we hear Emma giggle, every time our stomachs are full, every time we do something to make our home here better - every small thing adds up to big wins.”

Dean shook his head. He knew that trying to resist the pull of her light and life was pointless; she’d been pulling him out of the dark, and changing his plans since the moment she’d come into his life. 

He used their connected hands to pull her tight against him and watched heat enter her beautiful, red-ringed eyes.

He bent his head, but before his lips touched hers, he whispered words that came much easier now. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For all of it. I’m so sorry.”

Another tear fell down her cheek and she smiled and bit her lip. “If I say you’re forgiven will you kiss me?”

He pretended to mull it over and then nodded. “Yes, I think that’s fair.”

In the dusky twilight around them he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers; his arms tightened around her as she moaned softly. 

He was definitely counting that sound as a win.

***

Over the next month Dean resumed his dinners with Y/N, the difference being that he was there nearly every night, and he’d stopped pretending to himself that he didn’t relish every moment with her and Emma. 

Over the evenings spent together, Emma had warmed more and more to him so that now she ran to meet him every time he walked through their tent flap, holding her arms up so he’d pick her up and toss her up into the air, catching her in a swooping motion as she came down. It made Y/N gasp every time, but Emma squealed with delight. He’d set her down and she’d grab his hand, nearly three times the size of hers, and pull him over to the table.

He’d take off his heavy canvas jacket within the relative warmth of the tent, and drape it over Emma’s shoulders, making her giggle as she drowned inside it. 

They’d sit around the table and share the day's events, though Emma usually did the majority of the talking. It always brought a mixture of feelings when he listened to her bubbly, excited stories. It made him happy and terrified at the same time. She was so precious he couldn’t help but smile, an expression that was becoming easier for him as the days went by. But also, his chest felt tight and he could feel terror creep in as the darkness whispered a warning, telling him that he couldn’t possibly keep her safe. He’d lose her, and Y/N too.

Sometimes that thought woke him from a deep sleep and made him shake and sweat. It was proving incredibly difficult to make all his fears go away. But as soon as he saw Y/N’s smile the next day, it felt easier.

In fact it was becoming increasingly difficult to go home at all, to leave her warm cozy tent and return to his dismal gray one. But they were trying to be careful and move slowly in deference to Emma. They didn’t want her to feel confused or unsure of things now that she finally seemed so at ease. 

So they hid their kisses and their caresses until after Emma was sleeping, at which point they’d usually try and brave the cold long enough to enjoy some alone time, even if it was encumbered by bulky jackets and scarves. They never had enough time, but they’d managed slightly more satisfactory make out sessions in the empty school and in Dean’s tent. But they were always too rushed and things had to end too quickly.

Dean ached for her more and more every day.

One evening in mid December, the air was much milder than usual; the day had been unseasonably warm and the night held on to a trace of it. Dean had Y/N pressed up against the side of the thick canvas tent, sucking on the soft skin just below her ear. As her breath caught and she angled her head so that he had better access, he was practically vibrating with how badly he needed to feel her. 

As he breathed into her mouth, he slowly unzipped her jeans, letting her tell him no if she wanted. But she just nodded and bit her lip.

He watched her face as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of the leggings she wore as an extra layer against the cold, and then down into her panties. He desperately tried to stifle the moan that wanted to escape as he felt how soaking wet she was for him.

“Goddamn.” He whispered roughly as he slid two fingers inside her, rubbing his thumb against her little bundle of nerves and making her bite harder into her lip to keep quiet. He decided to help her out and closed his mouth over hers, swallowing up her small moans.

He pushed in and out of her body, his cock hardening as she gripped his forearm where it disappeared into her pants while her cunt clenched tight around his fingers. He passed his fingers over her sweet spot a couple of times and she fell over the edge. She broke off their kiss to bury a scream in his neck, muffling it with his thick collar. 

As she came down she clung to him, her hot breaths creating puffs of white in the cold air. She moved her hand to cup his hard on through his jeans and was just reaching for his zipper when they suddenly heard Cas’ voice inside the tent.

“Emma, where is your mother and Dean?” 

Dean groaned. What the fuck? Y/N squeaked slightly and pulled her hand back, making him absolutely throb with need. He was gonna slaughter his best friend. 

They were quickly righting their clothing when Emma's voice reached them, and it didn’t really sound like she’d been sleeping.

“They’re outside the tent, kissing each other.”

Y/N’s eyes got huge and round and Dean stifled a snorted laugh behind his palm while she slapped his bicep. 

“It’s not funny. Jesus, we’re gonna traumatize her!” She said in a horrified whisper.

Suddenly Cas’ head poked around the side of the tent and he frowned. “Are you finished kissing?”

Y/N buried her head in Dean’s chest and Dean scowled at the angel. “Well, we sure as hell are now.”

Cas nodded, completely ignoring Dean’s frustration. “Good. You need to come inside. I have incredible news.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “What news, Cas?”

The angel’s smile was surprising in its rarity and it made Dean raise an eyebrow.

“I know why Y/N isn’t a psychic.”

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96

[ofnewstarts]

"It is not judgement... Concern maybe but certainly not judgement." Despite saying that Theresa was still smiling looking over Chloe's shoulder to see all the things she'd been thinking about. "I'd suggest a theme. It may be easier to em, well stop overwhelming I suppose. Easier to get the parents on board right?"

"Okay, but listen -- how much is too much for a child's birthday party?" She asked, "I mean, can you really ever over do it for a party? It's a party! And plus, this might be the only kid I ever have, so you know-- I'm going to spoil the hell out of him. Parents be damned!" She looked back down at her iPad, searching through Amazon for little boy party supplies. Liam, her little brother, was going to love this. Glancing up at the person beside her, "If that's judgement I feel coming from you, you can stand over there." She pointed across the table from her, "But if not, how about you give me some ideas?"

[busghost]

I've been really negative about Honkai recently and I'm sorry about that but with everything that's wrong it gets you thinking about how they could have done it better.

So now I'm wondering what ideas people have for Mei's (gestures at her) everything. Instead of just telling us everything Mei is supposed to be and show us Mei growing as a person.

I do want to see what other people think up because by no means is my idea the only good one.

DISCLAIMER: I'm only throwing ideas out, I'm not claiming to be an actual good writer. I'd be a pretentious asshole to think that if I wrote this in a story format rather than an outline that it'd be any good. It'd be worse than what we got. I'm also not blaming the writers for being crunched so bad. It's just a lot of unfortunate circumstances.

Personally I'd go nuts with the beta Crown of Thorns + the ideas introduced in ch 1-2 of Elysian Realm and the story beforehand (Elysia is "perfect" but acts mean).

Elysia considers herself the perfect human when there's no humanity in her having let the end come because "it's their own fault". As if Mei let Kiana die to her own foolish self sacrificial habits. Her love is a detached one, like she doesn't truly understand what it is to love nor does she understand what she is loving. Humanity is more like a cute plaything than the collection of all people and their hopes and sorrows and hatred and love and everything in between.

The point of the Previous Era was that they were so coldly logical that they lost. They had no love, just look at what happened to RIN, murdered in cold blood and only became a Herrscher because of it. And that basically ALL we knew about the PE for the longest time, the coldblooded murder of a young woman just because she might've been a threat and how Sakura was able to reach RIN and get her to stop killing in the end with love.

Take the examples of love from the PE and crush them under that cold logic. Su being a doctor forced to continually sacrifice the few for the many, going against all he stands for. Griseo growing up in a world so apathetic towards new life. Hua hating Kevin for being Dr. Mei's pawn and killing HIMEKO. Expanding on the throwaway line where she was ostracized for being so close to somebody who became a Herrscher. Eden being so depressed at the loss of art and so much life. Sakura trying to do good by her sister but killing for a living to make it so. I think they really nailed Pardo the first time around. And very importantly, make it clear that MOTH/Dr. Mei's rationality is what caused so much suffering. Despite this, have her thaw out and be understanding even for their worst qualities. As the sims open up, so does she, becoming more like a person again rather than angst with a vague goal.

Contrast all of this with the love Mei has felt through her life. Her few interactions with her father that left a mark on her. Seeing how Hua has changed from the past into the present, finding people that she can openly love and care for. Theresa and Himeko giving her unconditional love and teaching her so much as parental figures. Even the tough love like Himeko slapping her across for face for suggesting everyone else would be better off if Mei killed herself. Kiana and Bronya relying on her and supporting her, her happiest moments being when she was at St. Freya with her family. Even during her short time at Anti-Entropy, Tesla was very kind to her. See the few examples of love that appeared in the Previous Era and realize THAT'S what they're fighting for in the real world.

I forget where it was stated, but I think it was Otto who said that the Current Era has come to a better understanding of what it means to be human and I really like that idea. Herrschers are more capable of being human than some people. That being human and defeating the Honkai isn't based on plans that kill nearly everyone on Earth or making decisions for the people of the future. It's not "PURGE THE HONKAI" as the PE was so fond of saying, it's "Fight for everything beautiful in the world."

With Elysia as the antagonist it doesn't even necessarily need to end in a boss fight against her or anything. But make Mei decide for herself that what she is going to fight for, she isn't "perfect" like Elysia but her love is genuine and she has a deeper understanding than Elysia ever could. She can carry on the memories of the Previous Era, not of all the fighting and plans but of the love people tried to show each other. A rejection of what everything the Previous Era stood for.

Have Mei leave the Realm and World Serpent, not because Kevin said "okay you can go now" but to abandon them to be with the people she truly cares about and believes in because that is what is important now. Maybe have her come to their aid when it's explicitly against WS's interests.

THEN Mei can take Elysia's place as Herrscher of Human/Origin because she truly understands what it means to love people unlike Elysia. How Kiana's arc is learning to accept love and loving herself, have Mei's arc be learning to love the world again.

Also do none of the retconning in chapter 34. Make everything they are doing in the Current Era their own decisions, their own plans. They are supposed to be overcoming Project Stigma through their own determination and knowledge, not because this was the real purpose of Project EMBER. Also just let the Will of the Honkai be something the Previous Era inflicted on the Current Era while tampering with it, not "we were making it easier for the CE the whole time". The Current Era's victory over the Honkai has to be their own.

I'll be first to admit, I haven't thought much into how it's play out and definitely should have more to do with Elysia, the realm is named for her and it's her big secret at the center of it all. You could still pull this off with making Elysia suffer so much for having so much genuine love for everyone in a loveless world or a million other ways. Just not, Elysia decided the future for the Herrschers and everything the CE is doing is actually a PE plan.