#cause really it's their versatility that makes bad end cavi & stanny such menaces. cavi can literally mind control people by controlling th

[razzle-zazzle]

Can we hear about your aus? They seem interesting!

Okay okay so. For the first AU, Woodland Stan. If you haven't watched s08e14 "Woodland Critter Christmas" and s18e06 "Freemium Isn't Free", go watch them, bc even if they're not the best South Park episodes out there they're so so funny to me & the basis for the Woodland Stan AU. And also "Woodland Critter Christmas" has a twist in it that's genuinely more fun to experience watching the episode than reading about it.

this got long so i'm putting it under the cut

See, in "Freemium Isn't Free", Stan is briefly (and consensually) possessed by Satan so Satan can go kick the Canadian Devil, Beelzeboot's, ass. And I know that technically the woodlnad critters don't actually exist in South Park, and come from a story Cartman wrote (and also appear in the Imagination Land trilogy), but they appear in The Fractured But Whole so I say they do exist and are just as demented as in TFBW. So in the Woodland Stan AU, they somehow find out or figure out or just in general catch wind of hwo Stan briefly gave his soul to Satan That One Time, and decide that that means they just gotta adopt him!

Which means Stan is kidnapped by a bunch of talking animals. Who then heavily dehumanize him (both in a "you are one of us and thus an animal" way and a "your thoughts and feelings and rights matter less than us wanting you to join us" way), in addition to exposing him to, and in some cases forcing him to engage with, all the violence and gore they normally get up to. It's basically a lot of whump, with emotional abuse and other trauma. Fun! Plus they kill Sparky and reanimate him as a hellhound when he tracks Stan's scent.

He does eventually get rescued, and has to slowly readjust to not being Stanny, to not living in the woods with a group of animals who both see him as one of their own and as a useful tool. There's so much more I could say about this AU with regards to how each critter interacts with Stan, or how characters back in South Park respond to the disappearance, or just Stan's trauma and response to it in general, but that would make this post too long. So moooooving on!

The second AU, which is called Guinea Possession AU, is based on the season twelve two-parter, episodes 10 & 11 "Pandemic" and "Pandemic II: The Startling". You know how the Guinea Pirate escaped prison at the end as an end-of-episode joke? And you know how Craig shot lasers from his eyes, and everyone commonly headcanons Craig as Peruvian due to the whole prophecy thing?

Yeah. Yeah you know where this is going. The Guinea Pirate returns, looking for revenge, and possesses Craig. This is both to get revenge and because those laser eyes weren't a one time thing. But before Cavisuwa can truly take advantage of the powers he's trying to activate (which. to make it more fun. is basically electrokinesis. but not very much because Craig is a fourth grader + hasn't done anything with them), Tweek figures out what's going on.

Where Woodland Stan's story takes place over at least a month, the Guinea Possession AU would take maybe two weeks at most, with most of the action happening right at the end. Tweek and a few other kids confront Cavisuwa, and through the wonderful power of Tweek Bros Coffee and a punch to the gut Tweek makes Craig vomit. Which exorcises Cavisuwa. Because this is South Park. Craig ignores everything Cavisuwa said about "godly powers" and goes on with his life and everything is fine.

Which leads me into the third AU. The Bad End AU. Wherein Stan goes missing thanks to the woodland critters. But before anyone can get to the bottom of things, Tweek starts freaking out. "Something's wrong with Craig!" He claims, "Because that's not him!" He is correct. Craig just got possessed!

Except... Clyde's sure he'd have noticed if something was up with his best friend. And everyone else is more concerned with the fact that Stan is missing. So Tweek confronts Cavisuwa alone. On the playground. To everyone else it looks like Tweek just started beating up his boyfriend out of nowhere, so they get pulled apart. Tweek goes back to the drawing board, and Cavisuwa..... okay look I love Tweek and I really want to involve him more heavily in this AU. But currently.. yeah he dies at the hands of Cavisuwa, who then goes on to cause a blackout, start destroying Peruvian pan flute music however and wherever he can. Giant guinea pigs and guinea bees and guinea rabbits and guineasaurus rexes start to come back, Cavisuwa takes over South Park,

and because everyone in South Park is preoccupied with Cavisuwa's rise to power, Stan never gets away from the woodland critters.

So the Bad End AU sees a world ruled by a possessed Craig, with a greasy animorphic demon lurking in the woods. There's also a resistance against Cavisuwa's "reign" lead by Kenny, Wendy, and formerly Kyle, giving me three major factions to work with. There's so much I can say about this AU, but again this post is supposed to just be the synopsis so yeah.

tl;dr Woodland Stan sees Stan kidnapped by the satanic woodland critters, Guinea Possession sees Craig possessed by the Guinea Pirate, and both of those AUs combined make the Bad End AU where, because nobody listened to Tweek, neither the possession nor the kidnapping get resolved.