#cause my ed gets easily triggered but I don't want to die. and I don't want to live like this
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#rant in the tags incoming#saw some great food on my dash and I'm scared of being half starved again through out my school year#i get anxiety about asking for money and I can't really get a minimum wage job cause I'm physically disabled#abd it's like 98% chance I won't be hired for those jobs#and I'm really scared of getting sick and not even having food to eat before eating meds#and it's really making me angry when I get home when I hear I should buy clothes so I don't wear stuf from when I was in hs#cause they are 'worn out' and I look... yea#like. I can't even buy stuff like meat cause it's too expensive for me. how am I supposed to look 'presentable'#so I'm scared and anxious and I don't know what to do#when I can't even buy essentials regularly like food#yea#cause my ed gets easily triggered but I don't want to die. and I don't want to live like this#rn I'm visting my sister and w the amount of money I'm spending on just existence is making me really anxious about asking for money again#anyways sorry for the rant idk what to do I'm scared anxious and 20. yay
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