#cause it's a twin chapter babey

[sebsxphia]

THE FUCKING WHIPLASH THIS CHAPTER GAVE ME?! GOOD AS EVER 😵‍💫

"Bradley Bradshaw," you begin, "Do you like it when I call you Daddy?" You ask him with a smirk. A blush spreads from his chest to the tips of his ears. He looks down at the floor, not sure how to respond.

i was crying real tears when you found out they were twins and they started kicking for the first time 🥺 but then the ABOVE HAPPENED AND LORD! i had the most physical reaction to this and the rest of the sinfully good filth!

One strap of your baby pink nighty has slipped off your shoulder, almost as if in purpose. The silk of the material strains against your breast as your hardened nipples peak through it. It cascades down your body, hugging the curve of your midsection before ending at your thighs. Your lips are parted lightly, and a pink blush has spread across your cheeks.

Your nails dug into his shoulder blades as his strong hands gripped your hips. One of his hands left its perch to sweep over the taught skin of your bump, cradling it before moving to your rear. He grabbed the supple flesh there, pulling you closer to him, driving him deeper inside you. You met his dark eyes as he growled���"Say it again."

oH BABEY 😵‍💫 the breeding kink imagery of your bump, swollen breasts and bradley cradling you like that got me so feral!

"Daddy." You breathe out. "Louder." He grits. "Daddy!" You cry out at a louder volume this time as the head of his cock attacks your g-spot, hitting it over and over again, causing you to see stars.

He continues to drive into you as he praises you. "That's it—Cum for Daddy—Good girl."

Bradley lets out a small chuckle. "Don't apologize for that. You have no idea how much that strokes my ego. Can't wait to make you do it again." He admits.

SLAMMING MY FIST ON THE DESK REPEATEDLY FOR HOW INCREDIBLE THIS IS! i loved loved loved this chapter! aaaaaaaaah! 💗

Red, White, and Rooster

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Frenemies to lovers, relationship of convenience. Political situations. Allegations of affairs, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

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Chapter 17: Safe and Sound

Your leg bounced nervously as you and Bradley sat in the private room of your OBGYN office. It had been eight weeks since you had been rescued, and you were currently waiting for the doctor to come and do your anatomy scan to find out the gender of Baby Bradshaw. You had been going weekly for checkups, and each time, the doctor assured you that everything was fine, but you couldn't shake the anxiety.

You had both hands resting on your bump, which was now definitely visible. After your kidnapping, you'd taken a break from the public eye. However, the two of you were planning on announcing your pregnancy via White House social media today. Jaycee was patiently waiting for you to call her to tell her which announcement to post.

Bradley rested his hand over yours. "Everything is fine. We don't have anything to worry about. Soon, we are going to find out what our little peanut is, and then we will be on our way to a much needed vacation in Rhode Island." Bradley told you. "And a late birthday celebration for you." You reminded him.

You grimaced at the memory. It was a few days after you had gotten home from the hospital in North Carolina when you were laying in bed with Bradley, and the two of you had heard the fireworks for the 4th of July celebration. When you realized what day it was, it took the better part of an hour for Bradley to get you calmed down after you'd come to the realization that you had been missing om his birthday. Honestly, it hadn't even occurred to him.

You immediately made him agree to a getaway for the two of you once your broken arm held and your bruises had faded.

He swiped a stray hair from your face and smiled at you. He didn't miss the slight flinch in your features. You were still having nightmares, and it broke his heart that this had happened to you. He tried every day to lift your worries and make them his, but much to his chagrin, there were some battles he just couldn't fight for you.

"Alright! Who's ready to find out what the First Baby is going to be?" Dr. Park asked as she came into the room. You and Bradley both told her you were ready.

Bradley helped you onto the exam table and held your hand as Dr. Park squirted the cold jelly on your stomach before swirling it around.

"So, you're twenty weeks and two days today. Hopefully, the little peanut is turned where we can see what they are." Dr. Park smiled at the two of you.

Her eyes were locked on the screen. Suddenly, she frozen. "Oh!" She gasped.

"Oh?!" You and Bradley both said in unison. "What, 'oh'? Is that a good 'oh' or a bad 'oh'?" You asked, sitting up a little.

Dr. Park smiled. "Well, I know you want to know one gender, but would you like to know both?" She asked you with a coy grin.

"Both?" You asked her with wide eyes.

"Both." She affirmed as she turned the monitor towards the two of you. "It doesn't happen often, but it seems like Baby B has been hiding behind Baby A these past few weeks." She tells you. "Looks like it's twins." She states.

"T—twins?" Bradley sputters out. You turn to look at him. He is as white as a sheet with a cold sweat across his brow. "Twins." He repeats just above a whisper. You look at him with concern, afraid he might faint. "Bradley. You're the president. You run a country, but us having twins is what freaks you out?" You tease him.

He swallows and takes a deep breath. "Okay, everything's fine, just a little shocked is all." He states to no one in particular.

"Well, are you ready to know?" Dr. Park asks after the initial shock has passed. Both of you nod your head eagerly.

"So it looks like Baby A is a—girl." Dr. Park smiles at the two of you. "Aww, a little girl." You tear up. "And Baby B is a— ah, a boy. I guess he got tired of hiding behind his sister." Dr. Park laughs. She takes a few pictures before leaving to let you get cleaned up.

"We are having twins. Twins!" Bradley exclaims once the two of you are alone. "I swear, Jake wished this on me."

You chuckle at your husband. "Dearest, you are in charge of a nation. And before that, you flew multimillion dollar aircrafts. I'm sure you can handle being a father to twins. C'mon Daddy, you've got to toughen up." You chuckle at him. "Now be a dear and help Mommy u—oh!" You gasp.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" Bradley asks as he grabs your hand. You don't respond. He continues to talk, but you shush him. He tries to protest, but you grab his hand and place it on your belly. He looks at you confused before he feels it.

"Wa—is that—are they—" He trails off as you both feel it again. "One of them is kicking." You whisper, afraid it will stop if you speak too loudly.

"Is this the first time you've felt that?" He asks you with wide eyes. "I've felt the peanut—well I guess, peanuts, move around a little, but this is the first kick I've felt.

"Hi there, you two." Bradley says before placing a gentle kiss on your tummy. "I'm your Daddy." He says. But as soon as the kicking started, it stopped.

You both sigh as he helps you off the table. "Alright, Daddy, let's go. Mommy is hungry and is eating for three, apparently. Also, I need to call Jaycee and tell her she's going to have to make another announcement." You say as you grab his hand. "And I have to call Jake and tell him that everyone technically one the bet." He sighs.

"Bet?" You ask him. "There was a small betting pool amongst some of the staff as to what the gender would be." He shrugs. "You two hear that? Uncle Jake is already causing trouble." You laugh.

Once back in the car, Bradley informs Dante that he needs to make a detour two to the nearest burger joint. You tell him that the twins said "tell Daddy we want french fries and a chocolate shake."

Bradley shutters and attempts to adjust himself. He isn't sure if it's the excitement of it all, the fact that the two of you haven't slept together in weeks or just how it sounds when it comes out of your mouth, but something about you calling him "Daddy," has him hard as a rock right now.

Dante quickly secures the food, and you thank him. Bradley attempts to steal a fry, but you smack his hand away. Dante chuckles before asking, "So, boy or girl?"

"Both." Bradley says. "Both? Twins? Wow, congratulations. Maybe everyone will get their money back, considering we were all technically right." He laughs. "You bet on the gender too?" You ask him.

"Guilty." Dante shakes his head.

You both laugh at him before your phone rings. It hit you that you hadn't called Jaycee yet. You were sure that she was chomping at the bit to hear the news.

"Hello." You said into your phone.

"Hello, madam First Lady." Jaycee says. "Hi, Jay." You chuckle.

"Well?" She prods impatiently. "Twins." You tell her simply. There is a pause on the other end of the line. You check to make sure the line is still connected, it is. You are about to say something else when she screeches "TWINS?! Babe! Did you hear that?!" She yells to whom you presume to be Jake. "I did. Holy shit!" He calls from the background.

"Wait, boys, girls, or one of each?" Jaycee asks you. "A boy and a girl." You tell her with a smile.

"Ohhhh, this is so exciting. Have fun on your vacation, I have a new post to make!" She cheers into the phone before hanging up.

.............

Soon, Dante is pulling the SUV into the air field and up to an Air Force One jet. He helps load your bags before sending you and Bradley off on your "baby-moon" as some had taken to calling it. In a few short hours, the two of you would be relaxing in a cottage in Newport, watching the sun sink into the ocean.

The two of you had been flying for about an hour when you both got the alert about the post made on the official White House social media channels. Jaycee had chosen a patriotic them, obviously. The post was simple. A letter board surrounded by red white and blue objects, two sets of baby shoes, an American flag, and a small F-18. The letter board read: "Red, White, and Due! Baby Bradshaw One and Two Coming Soon!" The photo was caption about how the two of you were excited to announce that you were expecting twins early next year.

By the time the two of you landed, it was late afternoon, and you were exhausted. Bradley settled your bags in the bedroom of the cottage the two of you would be staying in for a few days. Dante and the rest of the security team settled into the bungalow next door.

After getting unpacked, Bradley tugged you to your feet, insisting that you join him in the shower. You protested, but when he held you close and pressed feather-light kisses along your jaw, you were putty in his hands.

He undressed before carefully peeling your sundress over your head and tossing it to the side. He pulled you into the large shower, adjusting the stream of water in was gliding over the both of you. He pulled you flush against him. His toned chest pressed against your back as he held you for just a moment. Your hands rested over his as they splayed out over your rounded tummy.

You sighed and sank into him as he peppered kisses along your neck and shoulders before reaching for soap. He lathered it onto a loofah before running it over every inch of your body, giving special attention to your stomach. He loved seeing how you had grown in the past few weeks. He remembers the first time your baby bump was clearly visible to him, when it couldn't be confused for anything else.

He was in awe of the fact that you were growing a life, well now he knows, two lives inside you. Two lives that he had helped create. Ever since then, he had such a hard time keeping his hands to himself. He wanted to touch you and your belly all the time. Almost every night, he found himself falling asleep with his hand on it, and every morning, he would wake up just the same. Bradley was so lucky after everything to have you in his arms, and he thanked his lucky stars everyday.

"Where's your head at Daddy? Having a deep conversation with them?" You ask him. He snapped back to reality, realizing that his head was pressed against your stomach. You smiled at him as he stood back up and kissed your nose. He walked you backward until your back pressed against the cool tile of the shower wall.

He cupped your face and kissed you, using his tongue to split the seam of your mouth to deepen the kiss. You moaned against him as he kneaded your breasts in his hand. They were firm and soft, getting bigger now because of the pregnancy.

His mouth left yours to wrap around one of your nipples, licking and sucking until it formed a stiff peak before switching to the other. He continued his trail downward before you stopped him.

"Bradley, you don't have to." You whispered to him.

The spray of hot water cascaded over the two of you as Bradley sank to his knees in front of you. "Come on, Mommy, let Daddy take care of you." Bradley said as he draped one of your legs over his shoulder.

You were helpless when it came to resisting him. He may have been the one on his knees right now, but yours were the ones that were weak. You reached out to steady yourself. One arm braced against the wall, the other clinging to his shoulder as his skilled tongue swept through your folds.

You tossed your head back as his plush lips wrapped around your clit and sucked the taught bud into his mouth.

"Fuck, Bradley!" You cried out already so close after just a few minutes of his face buried in your heat. The internet said that pregnancy sex could be some of the best sex of your life, but you really thought Comso was exaggerating.

Boy, were you wrong. Everything felt more sensitive. Each sweep of his tongue, each nip of his teeth on the inside of your thighs, each curl of his finger had you barreling head first towards a release.

"Right there, oh my God. Right there!" You screamed as an orgasm washed over you.

Bradley didn't stop, holding your thighs steady as they began to tremble around his face while pleasure washed over you. He coaxed you through your high until you tugged on his roots when it became too much. He carefully eased your leg off his shoulder and stood up to hold onto you.

You collapsed against him, boneless from your high.

He reached out and turned the water off. "Let's get out and get dried off so I can take care of you some more." He whispered hotly into your ear. You mumbled a reply into his chest as he helped you out.

"You're too good to me." You told him as he dried you off with some fluffy towels.

"On the contrary, my love, you're too good for me." Bradley smiles at you before kissing your head.

"These two are going to be so lucky to have you as their mother." He says as he strokes the top of your stomach. "They are going to be even luckier to have a Daddy like you, Bradley." You tell him. He groans before tossing his head back, sighing and stepping away from you.

You hop off the counter with a wide look in your eyes. "Bradley Bradshaw," you begin, "Do you like it when I call you Daddy?" You ask him with a smirk. A blush spreads from his chest to the tips of his ears. He looks down at the floor, not sure how to respond.

You snicker before reaching forward and grabbing him by the towel that's tucked around his waist. "How about we head into the bedroom so I can give Daddy a late birthday present?" You whisper against his lips before tugging him into the bedroom.

You usher him to sit on the edge of the bed, pushing him down by his shoulders until he is right where you want him.

You kneel down on the plush carpet in front of him, placing a hand on each of his knees and urging him to part them for you. Bradley takes in the sight of you.

The lamp in the room has you washed in a golden glow. Your hair is still slightly damp and hangs down as it wildly frames your face. One strap of your baby pink nighty has slipped off your shoulder, almost as if in purpose. The silk of the material strains against your breast as your hardened nipples peak through it. It cascades down your body, hugging the curve of your midsection before ending at your thighs. Your lips are parted lightly, and a pink blush has spread across your cheeks.

He groans as you move forward to wrap one hand around his cock. You begin to slowly stroke him before placing a wet kiss on the head. Your tongue peaks out to swipe up the few beads of precum that are leaking from the slit.

A growl leaves his chest when you stick out your tongue and tap the head of him on it a few times before wrapping your lips around him.

One of his hands leaves the bed and tangles in your hair to pull it out of your face as you suck him. You have one hand braced on his thigh, the other wrapped around the part of him that couldn't fit in your mouth. You drop that hand and take a deep breath before taking all of him. You sigh around him and hollow out your cheeks, as you pick up speed. You take your free hand and cup his balls, rolling the soft tissue in his palm. It almost sends him over the edge.

Abruptly, he pulls you off of him. You lean back on your knees and wipe the saliva from your face as you look up at him.

"Bradley, you didn't—did I do—" He cuts you off by pulling you into his lap for a hungry kiss.

"Felt so good baby, but when I cum, I want to cum in you. Please. Can I?" He begs.

"Well, I've never told you no on that matter before, have I?" You chuckle as you pat your bump. He snickers before tugging your nighty over your head and laying you down on the pillows.

He hovers over you, supporting his weight on his forearms. He leans down to press a gentle yet filthy kiss to your lips. A groan vibrates in his chest when you card your finger through his hair and scratch his scalp.

He grabs his length, pumping himself a few times before sliding into your warm, wet center.

He groans when once he is fully seated in you, grabbing on your your hips and digging his fingers into them as he withdraws and pushs back in. He keeps a steady rhythm that has you mewling under him. Your head lulls to the side as he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside you with his stiffness. The pleasure begins to overwhelm you, but before it can cloud your judgment, you decide to test out your little theory from earlier.

"Oh, Bradley. Shit. Feels so good—Daddy." You moan, dropping the name from your lips.

Bradley stops, stilling inside you. You're worried that maybe you had read the situation wrong. But when you meet his eyes, you see that only a thin band of their honey-brown color is visible around his blown pupil. He pulls back and slams back into you. You let out a strangled cry as your arms wrap around him.

Your nails dug into his shoulder blades as his strong hands gripped your hips. One of his hands left its perch to sweep over the taught skin of your bump, cradling it before moving to your rear. He grabbed the supple flesh there, pulling you closer to him, driving him deeper inside you. You met his dark eyes as he growled—"Say it again."

"Daddy." You breathe out. "Louder." He grits. "Daddy!" You cry out at a louder volume this time as the head of his cock attacks your g-spot, hitting it over and over again, causing you to see stars.

"Louder!" He commands as his hips drive even harder into you. He hikes your leg higher on his waist, allowing him to drive deeper into you. With each thrust, your clit meets his pelvis which only increases your pleasure.

"Fuck, Daddy— fuck me, I'm going to cum!" You shout as your nails scrape down his back. He feels your walls tighten around him as you reach your peak.

You arch up off the mattress, pressing yourself into him.

Your eyes are closed. Your lips are parted, and your breath is coming out on shallow pants. You can feel your mixed release leaking out of you and onto the sheets. You can also feel how damp the sheets are from when you finished.

He continues to drive into you as he praises you. "That's it—Cum for Daddy—Good girl."

His praises only add to your pleasure, and you can't hold back the rush of wetness that comes out just as Bradley finished deep inside you. He guides both of you through your orgasms before gently pulling out and laying beside you.

Bradley strokes your hair and pulls you close to him. "You alright, Sweetheart?" He asks you with a raspy tone.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't know I could—" You ramble as you gesture to the mess you've made.

Bradley lets out a small chuckle. "Don't apologize for that. You have no idea how much that strokes my ego. Can't wait to make you do it again." He admits.

"So a Daddy kink?" You let out a breathy laugh once you're coherent enough to turn on your side and face him.

He shrugs, unsure what to say. "I should have known. You have always had a thing for titles in bed— Mr. President." You joke with him. He laughs before tucking you under his chin. It is peaceful for a few moments before you break the silence.

"Bradley, I need to pee. And I'm hungry." You grumle against his neck. He sighs dramatically before helping you up. You grab your nightgown and slip it over your head before waltzing into the bathroom.

"What are you and the little peanuts in the mood for. I'll text Dante to send out one of the guys for it.

"Some pizza would be great right now. Oh, and some wings and some cheesy bread with some sauce, and maybe some ice cream." You say.

Bradley shakes his head as he types out the message. "Don't forget to tell Dante what you want, too." You remind him as you look for some new sheets.

Hours later, the two of you have your bellies fully. You're splayed out on your back, sleeping peacefully. Bradley is curled up beside you with his head resting on your stomach. His hand runs over it as he presses wispy kisses to your growing skin. He whispers promises to his unborn children about how he is going to keep them and you safe for as long as he is alive.

"I thought we could share." He says as he grabs some off a shelf in the closet. You shoot him a skeptical look before laughing. "I guess I could let you have a slice or two and a couple wings. But the cheesy bread, that's all mine.

.....................

He stays up half of the night telling them stories about his parents and his days in the Navy. He tells them about their aunts and uncles and their Grandpa Mav, who is so excited to meet them. He tells them about you and how much he loves you.

When he runs out of things to say, he starts softly humming "Great Balls of Fire" and tells them he'll teach it to them on the piano one day like their Grandpa Goose taught him.

Soon, his eyes finally become heavy, and sleep fills his bones. He slides up next to you. You instantly curl into him, resting your head on his chest.

He lets out a long sigh before giving in and letting the need to rest take over. He knows that tomorrow will bring new challenges for the two of you, but he also knows that nothing is so great that the two of you cannot over come it.

Bradley presses a final goodnight kiss to your temple before closing his eyes and dreaming of you and his children and the family that the four of you will be.

Wow, this was a long one, but worth it. Thank you always for reading!

Taglist: @daggerspare-standingby @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @hecate-steps-on-me @roosterscock @roosterbruiser @roosterforme @seresinsbabe @startrekfangirl2233 @soulmates8 @xoxabs88xox @avengersfan25 @blackwidownat2814 @loveforaugust @mak-32 @cottagecori @amysteryspot @heyimmadisonn @princess76179 @bradshawseresinbabe @sunlightmurdock @lewmagoo @cassiemitchell @die-cunt @shipinabluebottle @malindacath @violyn20 @imawkwardlysoc @books-for-summer @blackroseboulevard @recordblues @desert-fern @luckyladycreator2 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @sebsxphia @roosters-girl @diorrfairy @je-suis-prest-rachel @mizzzpink @a-linabean @amklibrary @gretagerwigsmuse @jstarr86 @actuallyazriel @krismdavis @bradshawsbaby @wkndwlff @dakotakazansky

[siren-of-agony]

Me at 9pm: oh I think I'm gonna start writing that ONE chapter, but I probably won't get far

Me, now, at 3am:

[grelleswife]

Poisoned Beauty: Musings on Flower Language in the 4th Kuroshitsuji Art Book

After seeing the cover art for the fourth Kuroshitsuji art book (and the card included as an extra with purchase from Animate), I started to wonder about the potential symbolic significance behind the flowers attached to O!Ciel’s hat (How on earth does babey boi wear that massive headpiece without falling over?! But I digress).

At first glance, the petal formation reminded me of the labernum tree. In flower language, the labernum is associated with pensive beauty or the state of being forsaken. Considering his emotional isolation, the tragic loss of his family, and the bleak fate which awaits him at the end of the contract—not to mention the fact that many of his allies have turned their backs on him in the wake of the twin reveal—the latter meaning aptly describes O!Ciel’s situation. And our boi’s expression in the artwork itself is thoughtful, albeit guarded: A wicked mind doubtlessly cooking up new schemes of villainy beneath that elegant veneer.

Moreover, every part of the tree contains an alkaloid known as cytisine, which is poisonous to humans, causing nausea, vomiting, and (in large enough quantities) drowsiness, headache, and confusion. At least one work of Victorian literature, Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, uses laburnum’s toxicity as a metaphor for moral degeneracy. Lord Henry, who lures the innocent Dorian into a life of vice and hedonism, is associated with this plant as early as Chapter 1 (“Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum”), a nod to his poisonous influence on the protagonist’s life.

Once again, this easily relates to our smol murder nugget. Though presenting a golden facade to the world, O!Ciel’s soul has been corrupted (“poisoned,” if you will) by Sebastian’s demonic influence and his own dark choices, with harmful ramifications that extend beyond the earl himself to damage the lives of those around him. Note also in the illustrations above how the flowers seem to cascade down the right side of his face, where the eye bearing Sebastian’s contract seal is located, thus partially obscuring it from view. A hidden evil lurks behind their splendor.

There’s just one problem, however: I’m not entirely sure those flowers are from a laburnum tree. Perhaps my eyes deceive me, but the branching pattern of the decorations on O!Ciel’s hat might bear a closer resemblance to Koelreuteria paniculata, sometimes known as the golden rain tree.

Alas, I couldn’t find much on the potential symbolism linked to this tree, although one source claims that golden rain trees have traditionally been planted over the graves of scholars in Japan (obvious connection with mortality). Another Kuro-adjacent fact here is that its mature leaves can be made into a black dye…but if I attempt to reach any further, I’ll dislocate my shoulder, so I’d best stop there. 😅

If any folks with greater botanical expertise or a more thorough understanding of flower language have additional insights to share, I’d love to hear them!

[link-the-feral-anon]

New Break Dance AU

Chapter One: Roman P.O.V. 

As the beginnings of “Not Gonna Die” by Skillet filled the room, Anxiety began the dance. He was mixing break dancing with ballet again. Ballet for the slow parts while his partner, Logic, danced behind him, almost like he was the heavier instruments in living form. 

Roman loved watching these two perform. They were the regional champs for the third year in a row. He desperately wanted to know who they really were, but with the heavy make up and the stage names, he hadn’t a clue. He just knew that Anxiety was a heavy influence on his form now. At first it was mere accident, but then his crush noticed and said, 

”You know, you seem to be getting more confident in your moves and your footing.” He sighed dreamily. Virgil really was amazing. Sometimes he wondered if he were secretly Anxiety, but dismissed the thought as soon as he made the mistake of inviting him to the club.

”Oh, oh, no. I could- I could never-” He said. “That’s just- So many people, you know?”  “Oh. Oh, goodness gracious. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think-” Roman had tried to backpedal. Virgil shook his head. He looked a little nauseous.  “Don’t worry about it, Ro. Everyone forgets about it sometimes.” He said, putting on a brave face. That just made him feel worse. The bell rang before he could say anything else. “Ah, shit. I gotta go. I’m in Mr. Sanders after hours class.” He said, trying to hide the relief in his voice. Then he ran off, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“Uh, you okay there, Princey?” A snarky, semi familiar voice asked. 

‘Shoot!’ He thought. ’I missed the show!’ He looked at the source of the voice. His blood ran cold. “Princey?” Anxiety asked, now looking worried. “Dude?” “I’m a huge fan.” He managed to get out. Anxiety, the Anxiety, blinked in surprise and took a step back. It was hard to tell with all the purple, but it looked like he was blushing. “Are.. you blushing?” 

“W-” His multicolored eyes widened, and it was actually a really cute look for him. Then he scowled. “No. Of course not. I don’t blush. Besides, I’ve seen you, Princey. You and the Rat, and that really bubbly guy. You guys could rival Lo, SP, and I.” He snorted. “Now who’s blushing?” 

“The best dancer here just told me that my team could rival his, and I’m not supposed to blush?” 

He grinned at that. “Please. At least red looks good on you.” 

“And now the hottest guy here tells me-” Roman couldn’t finish his sentence. He was too busy trying not to laugh at Anxiety’s sputtering. 

“I- I’m not- S-Surely you’re talking to the wrong brother.” He scowled again when Roman started to laugh. 

“Sorry, sorry. You just sound just like my friend. He’s someone who could actually rival you.” He said, that damned dreamy smile returning. 

“Anx!” Another voice called. “We gotta go.”

“See ya, Princey.” Anxiety said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He gave a two-finger salute and followed SP and Logic fell in line behind them. Roman frowned softly. Huh. Virgil did that very same thing when he had to go. 

Just then, his twin almost toppled him over with the force of his hug, knocking away his thoughts. 

“Ow, hey, Rat, careful!” He whined, sticking his tongue out. 

“Ro. I’m in love.” It said dreamily. He raised his eyebrows. 

“You?” He asked, grinning at his twin. It was hanging off of him now. His grin widened when it nodded. 

“Yeah. That Logic guy?” 

“It was pretty funny, actually.” Patton chimed in. “They were talking about dissecting frogs-” 

“Shocking.” 

“- And then I went to get a drink and when I came back they were making out. Re had him against the wall.” Pat finished, laughing at Roman’s look of disgust. 

“Gross, Pat. I didn’t need that little detail.” “Oh, I’d hardly call that a little detail.” It said with a wink. 

“Ew, Remus.” Roman shrugged it off now. 

“Not me! His. Least it felt like it.”

“Remus.” Roman scolded, then he pouted at Patton. “Don’t laugh.” 

“I’m just glad that I don’t have your problems.” Pat said. “AroAce, babey.” 

The twins rolled their eyes and the trio headed for the door.

 The next day, Roman groaned as he rolled out of bed. ‘Thank the gods we have two bathrooms.’ He thought as he started the shower. He trudged back to his room after brushing his teeth. 

He tilted his head as he surveyed each outfit. He hummed and decided to go with a black skirt, his “Too Cute For The Closet” shirt with his bedazzled jean jacket.  

“Yo, Re! Are we eating breakfast at school or are you making us food?”  He called down. 

“Hope you like a mix of scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and various veggies.” It yelled back. 

He grinned and shook his head. Remus had weird tastes sometimes, but it usually led to it being the best cook he could ask for. He jogged down. 

“Want help picking out an outfit?” He offered. 

“I’m good, thanks. Think I’ll just wear trash-chic today.” 

“Changing it up, I see.” Roman replied dryly. He pulled out the Sunny D and poured them each a glass. It shrugged. 

“What can I say? I gotta let you shine sometimes.” Remus grinned over its shoulder. Then it dished up Roman’s half. After, he added peanut butter and some Sunny D to the rest and cooked it a little more.

“Rat.” Roman teased. Then he took a bite of his. “Shit, Rem. You really should go for a culinary school. Or apply at a restaurant.” 

“Nah. School is boring-” 

“You love home ec.” 

“Shut it, and what restaurant would want a wild card like me?” It said, gesturing to its own food. It dished up and added some hot sauce as an afterthought. Then grabbed its own juice and sat with its brother. “Wanna taste?” Roman looked uncertain, but sighed. He knew it was trying to change the subject.

“I’ll regret it.” He said, then he opened his mouth for a taste. “Hm. If it didn’t have the peanut butter, it’d be hella good.” 

“What? Psh, the PB is what makes it.” It grinned. “Anyways, Pat is bringing his friend Logan over tonight for dinner and tutoring.” 

“Okay, thanks for the heads up, Sibs. That oughta help with your English, right?” It shook its head. “Oh?” 

“I don’t like how my math is looking. I’d like to keep my mostly straight B’s.” It said, stabbing at its food with its fork.

Roman smiled at him. “Proud of you, Sibs.” 

Remus looked at him. “Really?”

“Totally. And Virge said his offer still stands too.” He said pointing at it with his fork. “No hard feelings about last time.” “Seriously?” It asked, relief soaking its tone. “That’s fantastic. Ask him what his favorite food is and I’ll make it whenever he comes over. I’ll even wrangle Pat in to help me bake him his favorite dessert.” Roman smiled softly. 

“You got it.”

“His tips about focusing really did help last year. Even if..” It trailed off, frowning. 

“Hey, he said no hard feelings. It’s his brother we should worry about.” He joked. 

“Janny or Logan?” Remus grinned. “Cause Janus is my friend.” 

Roman stuck his tongue out at him. 

“Let’s go. We gotta get to class.”

[danganronpedits-archived]

could I req a matchup? any media is fine!Im a pretty eccentric guy, I love clowns, surprises and have a soft spot for 'so bad its good' horror. Im also really interested in the paranormal ,psychology, but I've been described as that one guy that puts waaay too much effort into a shit post. I'll admit though, I mostly act like that to make up for the fact that I grew up too fast, I lack trust in the world, so barely anyone really knows that side of me. ty!

ah, yes!! i have another kin matchup anon coming up, and i think it would be interesting to see you guys talk... but yeah, let’s get into it! i’ve been really indecisive about these lately, if you were wondering why it took a while!! i’m sorry!!

first off, from pokemon, i match you with...

acerola!

to start off, acerola is definitely eccentric. at least, in the games she is ("Phew! Well, there goes my hope of beating you to smithereens and becoming Champion myself!")! she seems very energetic and a little teasing, though she mostly keeps it to herself- she’s never really hurtful, in my eyes. she’s charismatic the way i kind of see you being! just to get this out of the way, i think that she is a little more... cartoonish, and peppy, than you are- but just from the matchup, the two of you seem very similar!! we don’t know much about her stance on some of the things you listed in your interests,, but she definitely has an interest in the paranormal! after all, she adores ghost types and specialises in them! she loves surprises, and her entire trial is... kind of like a kidz bop version of a horror game! it’s not really good horror- you taking pictures with a cute little rotom camera... kinds of breaks the immersion- but i think it can still be a little unsettling, despite how warm and welcoming pokemon is as a whole! maybe you’d like that little segment, or maybe you do- i don’t know if you’ve played (ultra) sun/moon! i think acerola could also be into psychology to an extent, as she has a lot of people around her that she tries to sympathise with. in fact, while i don’t remember the scene in detail, acerola does say, "Now, Lillie, you're coming with me to do some shopping!" and... i mean, you could argue that this was rather perceptive of her, since lillie struggles with picking out things for herself. i could see you having moments like that, anon, picking up on things about others and maybe not even realising that you are!

acerola is definitely the type to get carried away on a shitpost- i don’t think that when either of you do it it’s annoying or anything, but it’s like... wow! it’s funny, and it’s got a cute little bow on top! ...something like that, you know? i think that acerola would describe herself similarly to how you do, and just- you kind of talk like an older version of her, if that makes sense? not much older, but just... a little more cautious with your wording than i think she’d be! i do think, however, that you both grew up too fast- um, i’m sorry for that by the way, anon! hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself afjdsjf,, however, acerola is very protective of younger children (”Back at Aether House, I'm like everyone's big sister! They all really depend on me.") and whenever their safety comes into question, she gets very serious and concerned, which is a sharp contrast to her usual demeanor. the aether house, where she grew up, is an orphanage- all of this can contribute to her having to grow up fast, having to take care of others. relating to you though, anon, her seriousness at the threat of danger to her siblings is really the only glance we get at her ‘other’ side. i would say she also lacks trust in the world to an extent, and this is more of an assumption, but anon, i think you can find it hard to grow personally close with other people. acerola relies on herself to defend the younger children at the aether house, and i’m sure that she would doubt their safety if she left them behind- almost in a motherly sort of way. point is, she depends on herself, not the other people around her.

second off, from bang dream(bandori), i match you with...

kaoru seta!

once again, kaoru is definitely eccentric. she’s the kind of theater kid that’s very confident, but not overconfident to where they’re just going around bothering people. maybe you’re not the exact same kind of eccentric as her, but the two of you definitely stand out in a crowd with your personalities. appearance wise, maybe not at first, but there’s a lot to see behind initial appearances with you!!! plus, you also seem... i don’t know, but you and her have a really similar vibe in terms of being prince-ly, but still a bit feminine. not to call you girly or anything, anon ^^;. we don’t really know her stances on a lot of your interests, but a hobby of hers is reading philosophy books- i think that could be attributed to psychology, in a way! also, in of herself, kaoru is sort of a surprise simply with her presence. she does feel human to me, the way you also do, but with both of you... there’s this sort of untouchable aura. like i couldn’t even begin to measure up to you... you know? while she isn’t exactly comfortable around the paranormal or spookier things, as seen in the cursed well event story, i’d imagine that she does at least engage with the content as part of theater- essentially summed up in this quote, ”I've played the part of a ghost, have I not? I not only think so, I know so! So please, enough of this ghost nonsense!”.  she can definitely see the art in horror, ghosts and the like! in terms of clowns, i mean, kokoro is one of her best friends, sooo...

i’d also say that kaoru would put... a lot of effort into her shitposts. not only for the sake of her prince persona, but also because... as she would say, a meme so comedic... is unbelievably fleeting. point is, she strives to lift others up, and this would show in her humor as well! to an extent, she kind of is a walking and talking shitpost. i don’t mean that in a derogatory way, but maybe you could relate to... not feeling like people take you seriously, because of how you present yourself! i definitely understand that- it’s hard to be honest about that kind of thing sometimes,, plus, i’d say that like you, kaoru also grew up in a world not made for her. while we don’t know much about her past, she used to have both self esteem and confidence issues, putting on the mask of a prince to make sure others wouldn’t have to experience those same issues. acerola and her both feel protective over the people they care about, and i kind of get a similar instinct from you. she’s very bothered about things that she didn’t say in the past, and maybe you relate to that- looking back, and loathing the things you didn’t say. kaoru does seem to lack trust in the world, to an extent, as whenever she’s by herself, the facade she puts on almost completely vanishes. maybe when you’re by yourself you find yourself more solemn, too.

and lastly, from danganronpa, i match you with...

kokichi ouma!

...but i will say, you have REALLY BIG kaito momota vibes for some reason??? from these major matchups, i’ve concluded that you have purple hair in real life. ^^; that’s a joke, but kokichi came to my head right away when i read your matchup!! i bounced around a bit, but ultimately(haha) decided on him. you may need to hear me out, as... he’s a little different from the other two. kokichi’s entire gang has a clown aesthetic, and he loves surprising people, finding joy in taking them off guard- like, take one single look at the insect meet & greet. take a glance at his role in the chapter three investigation. i don’t really know where he stands on horror type things, but a lot of his actions, while dominantly pranks, can be genuinely offputting- um. see the two examples i listed a second ago. again, i don’t know his stance on the paranormal, but i do think he has an interest, or at least skill, in psychology. he’s a human lie detector, though it’s not a flawless ‘system’. kokichi is definitely eccentric, his beliefs more often than not differ from his classmates’, and many remark that it’s hard to get a grip on what he’s thinking. once again, maybe you can relate to that- especially since you’ve said that you act differently thanks to your growing up, it might be hard to really lock down a perception of you. maybe you feel safer like that- i’m not sure.

look at me in the eyes right now and tell me that kokichi doesn’t make dank memes and post them to reddit for a living. he is the spawner of surreal memes. kokichi, with all of his pranks, is easily one of the most playful and jokey characters in danganronpa. some of them can be dismissed as cheerful lies, but also... like. kokichi is the major spawn of several danganronpa memes... but that’s kaede’s lie, isn’t it? while a lot of kokichi’s past is obscured, it’s implied that he, like acerola, is an orphan. that... would definitely cause you to grow up fast- and it’s not every day that someone decides to form a clowncore gang. plus, kokichi’s distrust in the world and constant lying are most likely for his own defense. he does have a mix of compulsive and pathological lying in him, the former tending to come from when lying is necessary in your home environment. i’m not saying that you’re like that specifically, but his complete lack of belief in anyone makes it clear that yes, he has little to no trust on the world. it’s only in chapter five that kaito briefly sees past kokichi’s facade- but even then, i’m sure kaito couldn’t really understand kokichi beyond just... a feeling. a wordless sympathy. little to no one knows kokichi, since... it’s like shuichi says. he’s the embodiment of a lie. (a statement i don’t fully agree with, but it gets the point across.)

-

minor matchups time babey! from danganronpa, you also remind me very strongly of kaito momota, and somewhat of jataro kemuri, ryoma hoshi, and nagito komaeda. from 1bitheart, you remind me strongly of the yakumo twins and hiyu mekami. from pokemon, you also remind me of shauntal, phoebe, iris, and will! from my hero academia, you remind me of denki kaminara. from my little pony, you remind me of cheese sandwich and discord. from corpse party, ayumi shinozaki and seiko shinohara. from danganronpa another, satsuki iranami. from fullmetal alchemist, you remind me a bit of edward elric. from little witch academia, you remind me of sucy manbavaran. from haikyuu, you strongly remind me of satori tendo, and somewhat of bokuto kotaro! from pokemon reborn, you also strongly remind me of cain! lastly, from your turn to die, you remind me of the yabusame siblings!

...sorry that those were a little stoic! i was trying to keep them short, since there were so many ^^;. hope this was okay, anon, i admittedly wasn’t great at locking down matches for you... if you need anything changed, just let me know!

-mod tsu

[ilovemygaydad]

part 5/? of punk!patton gets adopted by single parent logan

part one - part two - part three - part four - ao3 version - masterlist (includes asks and art!)

pairings: moxiety, eventual logince, background pining remceit, mentions of past thomas/female oc

warnings--these are very important this chapter: food mentions, stress, anxiety, kissing, flirting, divorce mentions, making out, mentions of murder (i’ll mark it out), attempted murder, guns, gunshots, gun wounds, head trauma, homophobic parents mention, homophobia, there’s so much swearing i am so sorry, maybe something else

a/n: no joke i’ve had this planned out since before the last part came out, but i literally just couldn’t write it all at once, and i’ve been having a really emotionally weird week. next chapter should start out pretty funny. idk. please enjoy this.

a/n 2: sorry that this took so long to get out. i don’t think it’s that great, but... yeah. whatever.

it’s friday night babey which means that it’s dinner time with the sanders, and logan and patton are freaking out

logan has been cooking/prepping food for the past day, and he immediately started finishing up as soon as he got home from work

patton, on the other hand, was feverishly cleaning the entire house 

it isn’t even messy, but he’s worried that virgil and/or roman are going to be upset

(which they aren’t????? but whatever)

and patton even cleaned himself up! he tried (and failed) to tame his wild curls into some sort of neat anything, and he wore his nicest pair of black jeans and a black sweater with floral designs that he’d bought at the mall with virgil a while back

it was a little out of his comfort zone, but virgil insisted that he get it because it looks very good on him

and, god damn it, you can’t say no to virgil’s puppy eyes

the doorbell rang just before five, and logan ran out of the kitchen to get it

patton literally vaulted over the couch, skidding to the door just behind logan

virgil is like

literally the cutest person on the planet

he’s wearing a white lace dress that has a flowy skirt, and he’s got a white flower crown on, and he looks like an angel

during the time that patton’s being a gay disaster, virgil holds out a bouquet of blue flowers and says, “dad made me get them for you”

patton smiles gently and takes them, pulling virgil in for a quick kiss before leading him inside

roman has, like, eight giant tupperware containers full of cookies and brownies and stuff in his arms, and logan’s like

what???? the fuck?????

“you didn’t need to bring desserts, roman. i have ice cream...”

and roman gives this cocky smile and says “my best friend, emi, loves to bake for us, but he doesn’t really know how to limit himself, so we have tons of baked goods lying around that we can’t eat. not to mention that i can’t keep up this fabulous figure if i only eat sweets!” wink wonk

and logan can feel his face heating up after that wink, but he pretends that it’s just the heat from inside

roman really does have a good figure...

logan chooses to not respond to roman, instead saying, “let’s go inside so you can put those containers down”

they turn to go, and they catch a glimpse of patton and virgil from down the hall

the kids are sitting on the couch, laughing and talking and exchanging the occasional kiss

the adults watch for a second because aw, but quickly move on to the kitchen

“you can set the containers down on the counter over there. i made a a couple of different things for dinner just in case you two didn’t like something that i made, so there’s spaghetti, pizza, and hamburgers. everything is absolutely gluten-free; i know because i triple checked with a list online and bought new utensils to reduce contamination. you’re free to have as much or as little as you like--i won’t be offended either way.”

roman kind of freezes because holy shit that’s so thoughtful and kind

“that’s... logan, that’s too much. you didn’t have to do all that for virgil.”

“what are you talking about? it’s only common courtesy to assure that your guest is able to eat without getting sick, especially when they have a disease that can cause irreparable damage to their body.”

“yeah, but a lot of people don’t care enough to ask or remember, so virgil often has to find something else to eat last minute... i brought an extra dinner just in case, which is very unfair to your person, but virgil has suffered too much for me to not be careful.”

“that’s...” logan starts, trying to express what he feels. “that’s just shitty.”

roman smiles and laughs a bit, replying, “yeah, it is, but at least you aren’t, you know, shitty”

and they have this little moment where they smile at each other, and both of them are like wow this man is... good looking but they snap out of it because

dumb gays

everyone in this au is a dumb gay

including yours truly but that is noT important

logan’s like “hey we should get the kids for dinner” and roman obvi agrees

but when they go to get them, they see the kiddos being all adorable and gay and logan turns to roman with this very serious expression like

we must spy on them. this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.

so they shuffle over to the edge of the doorway, just out of sight, and logan peeks his head in every now and then for visuals, and he’s repeating what he hears so that roman can understand what’s happening

logan’s in the middle of telling roman something when

dun dun dunnnn

a voice suddenly appears from behind them like

(the voice is virgil)

“what... are you two doing...?”

fucking busted

logan is like

aHa i can lie to these children!

and he says, “we were talking about work--”

but patton just cuts him off with this deadpan look and “you two are horrible liars”

cut to: roman gasping in offense that this emo nightmare of a child just called him a liar when he didn’t even say anything

so he says, “i didn’t even say anything”

patton, being... well, being the asshole that he is, says, “my point still stands”

roman splutters for a while longer, trying to look at virgil and logan for help, but virgil just shrugs and walks with patton to the table, and logan is still very embarrassed about getting caught

it takes a few seconds, but both adults recuperate and move on to what’s important

which is, obviously, dinner

logan walks virgil through what’s available and offers to cook something else if he isn’t feeling particularly happy with anything

virgil damn near cries at how nice logan is

dinner gets served, and they all start eating the (delicious--who would guess that calculator watch knew how to cook something that tasted like it was served in a fancy restaurant) food

after a few minutes of idle chatter and slight pda between the kids, logan offhandedly comments, “you know, i am extremely happy for the both of you that you didn’t cycle through numerous girlfriends before finding out that you’re queer like many of us do.”

and everyone at the table freezes because

logan’s gay????

“hold up,” roman says with a shocked expression. “you’re gay?”

and virgil sighs and shakes his head because “dad, you’re an idiot. he literally has a pride phone case, and there are multiple pictures of him at pride around the house--including one right behind you.”

he also elbows patton when the punk mutters out a very soft “what the fuck”

“i applaud your observational skills--”

“i assume neither of you knew that he was jewish, either”

and now it’s logan’s turn to be surprised because... who the hell is this kid

“you have a dreidel on the mantle that i assumed you forgot to put away after Hanukkah last year.” everyone stared at him. “oh, i’m sorry that i’m not as much of a dumb gay as my father.”

cue roman getting offended again

“excuse you! the role of ‘dumb gay’ is exclusively reserved for thomas f. sanders!”

poor patton hasn’t stopped being confused this whole time, but roman luckily jumps right back into his explanation

“my twin brother, thomas, didn’t realize that he was gay until he had been with a woman for six years and had a child with her. they amicably parted ways because, like him, she was also gay. i am not nearly as stupid as my brother, and i take great offense to virgil calling me a ‘dumb gay!’” he said matter-of-factly

virgil opens his mouth to say something, but roman cuts him off with a swift “if you so much as think about saying what you’re going to say, i will throw you into the ocean without a moment’s hesitation.” roman then very calmly turns to patton and says sweetly, “so, only good child at this table, tell me a bit about yourself so that i know what my devil child is getting himself into.”

unbeknownst to roman, virgil mutters “dumb gay,” under his breath, causing logan to crack a smile across the table

patton shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “my birthday is february nineteenth, my favorite color is blue, and i’m homoromantic asexual.”

roman waited for patton to say more, but the teen averted his gaze back on his food and took another bite

logan decided to pick up the slack after the few seconds of awkward silence “what about you, virgil?”

unlike patton’s less than enthusiastic reply, virgil perked up at the chance to speak

“oh, well, my birthday is june second, and i really like purple! i’m pretty sure that i’m pan, but i have a preference for guys. oooh! and i really want to be an elementary school teacher.”

that made logan perk up. “really? i currently teach first graders across town.”

“no way!” virgil gasped. “that’s awesome! i love little kids so much. they’ve got so much energy.”

“and their intelligence is unrivaled!”

“yes!”

roman and patton watched as the two excitedly conversed about kids and teaching

patton admired virgil’s enthusiasm, and was happy that he was getting along with logan.

and virgil looked really cute with his happy smile and the little glimmer in his eyes

patton may or may not have zoned out in favor of staring at his beautiful boyfriend

roman couldn’t really tell what logan and virgil were talking about (they were speaking far too quickly for him to follow), but he admired how excited logan looked when he was speaking

oh no

roman was falling for logan

time to not follow his own advice and pretend that his feelings don’t exist

after another half hour or so of chatting, the adults and kids split ways for a while

patton and virgil went up to patton’s room, and logan and roman stayed in the living room

the boys settled together at the end of patton’s bed, holding hands and leaning on each other

“you look paw-sitively purrfect, virgil” patton giggled

“is... are you saying that because i have cat-eye eyeliner on?”

“...maybe”

virgil smiled and pulled patton in for a kiss

they kissed for a little, but patton eventually pulled away

he looked worried, and he fidgeted with his hands as he said, “do you think that your dad likes me?”

“well...” virgil started. “he didn’t like you for a long time. after the first day of school, he kind of held a grudge on you.” patton winced, but he didn’t get the opportunity to say anything. “i think he’s forgiven you now.”

“really?”

“i promise. he just wanted to protect me because he’s my dad, but i think he’s realized that you’re not actively trying to hurt me, and you’re just a bit dumb at times”

“hEY”

virgil smiled and nudged patton “you know i love you”

“hnnnnnn i love you too”

“heLL YEAH!”

meaNwhiLE downstairs

logan led roman into the the living room and roman was

stunned

because logan had at least a thousand books meticulously organized around the room

“how many books do you have in here...?” roman asked, running his hand over an entire collection of encyclopedias 

“about one thousand two hundred on the shelves, but i have some children’s books in those baskets at the bottom as well as the books that are starting to fall apart like my copy of hamlet”

“how did you even get so many books? i’ve been collecting novels my whole life, and i only have a few bookshelves full”

“my mom is a librarian, and whenever they would get newer copies of books or get rid of unwanted books, she’d give them to me. i’ve bought a fair few of these myself, but there are only so many that i can buy on a teacher’s salary”

and roman’s like

????? hot

and logan keeps rambling on about books, and roman’s just having a gay crisis but it’s fine 

but then logan looks at roman expectantly, and roman hadn’t exactly been paying enough attention to read logan’s lips, so he played the “can you repeat yourself? i didn’t catch it” card

“sorry. i asked how you came to adopt virgil”

and roman obviously is like hey how about we spill a lot of sad life things with this almost stranger because he’s cute

~this is where the murder is mentioned~

“his mom was my best friend in high school. although we went our separate ways for college, she stayed supportive of me after i came out. she was... the only one from my old life who would even think to talk to me. even thomas hesitated to talk to me for fear of crossing our parents and their ridiculously catholic ideas.” roman sighed. “eventually, though, she got mixed up in some bad stuff, and she got with this drug addict who got her pregnant with virgil. when virgil was about a year old, the guy thought that my friend was cheating on him, and he shot her. the shot, luckily, didn’t kill her right away, and she was able to push him into the corner of a table and kill him before he could get to virgil. she called the police, but she died before they could get there. as soon as i found out, I went and started the adoption process. i had only been a year out of college at that point.”

~end of the murder mention~

logan was stunned. “that is... horrible, roman. i am so sorry for your loss.”

“it’s alright,” roman said with a shrug. “it was over a decade ago, and it led to me getting the best thing in my life. the circumstances were shit, but virgil has made me a better person, and i wouldn’t know what i’d do without him keeping my head on gay.”

“you mean straight...?”

“nothing about me is straight, logan. don’t be absurd”

eventually, it’s time for roman and virgil to leave

virgil and patton walk out to the car and leave the adults at the door because they wanna kiss each other goodbye without being spied on

on their way to the car, virgil whispers “how much do you want to bet that they’ll be flirting with each other by the time we leave”

“ten dollars. i mean, didn’t you see how your dad looked at logan? it was gross!”

meanwhile, at the door...

roman leans back on the doorframe and smiles. “this was a nice night, logan. virgil definitely had a lot of fun”

“that’s great; i’m glad”

“here--give me your phone. i’ll put my number in, and we can get together some other time to get to know each other better”

logan obliged, and roman sent himself a text using logan’s phone and set his contact name as “prince of your dreams”

they chatted for a minute or so longer, just to give the boys enough time to say their goodbyes, before parting ways

logan didn’t spend the rest of the night texting roman

don’t be ridiculous

to be continued

asks are loved and encouraged, and make sure to check out the amazing art people have made on the masterlist! 💖💖💖

tag list: @residentanchor @eeveeawesome @xionical@absolutesandersidestrash @stormcrawler75 @musikasworld @ironwoman359@a-weirdo-with-a-computer @thegaypotatoroyalty707 @darkrainbow333@ravenclawunicorn1 @noahlovescoffee @whymustibedraggedintofandomhell@romansleftshoulderpad @still-waiting-for-cookies @emounicorn2006 @lana–22 @angels-ofthe-sea @demonickittykat @lonelysoul43 @the-virgil-mary @five-second-cookies @noisywolfbatbakery @band-be-boss-blog @heck-im-lost@lamp-calm-sanders @patton-e @knightofbloodcancer @cloudchaser7@really-sleep-deprived-nerd @era-eclipsed @khadij-al-kubra @anxiousmorality@are-you-really-sure-about-that @today-only-happens-once@notalwaysthevillian @backatthebein @sunshineandteddybears @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @dodos-in-damnation@some-lost-meme-boi @dead4sevenyears @spookyingarbageisland @the-poison-apple-of-art@radioactivehelena @the-melody-of-eliza @im-a-mess-aaaaaa @whycantihavemorethan32characters @broadwaytheanimatedseries@veryvirginvirgil @llamaavocado @unisaurioamorfo @caterpiller-tea@cornycornfriendo @simon-at-3am @calico-kiri

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

What if Misery Loves Company part 1 included the 6 Baudelaires?

THIS IS A SPECIAL WHAT IF POST:

Today, I was asked by @totallyhumanperson123​ ‘How would Lilac, Nick and Solitude fit into Misery Loves Company?’

And after asking @unfortunate-stranger-losers​ if I could use the three extra Baudelaires to make this post I have thought extensively. (I may do this for each part if @/unfortunate-strangers-losers is okay with it).

PLEASE NOTE: THESE ARE MY INTERPRETATIONS OF SOMEONE ELSE’S CHARACTERS AND HOW I WOULD WRITE THEM IF I HAD INCLUDED THEM IN MY FIC. ALSO, NOTE THAT IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE ENTIRETY TO MISERY LOVES COMPANY PART 1 THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS.

So first let’s discuss Lemony and Beatrice:

Lemony would have two daughters: Lilac Emily and Violet Malina. The difference between this is: The timeline would have been Bea and Bert were on the island when Bea was pregnant with Lilac. When they come back to the city, they meet up with Lemony and get back into their polyamorous relationship resulting in Violet.

Beatrice and Bertrand realize that living life on the run alongside Lemony and two kids is no way for the girls to live. So they break up with Lemony. Leaving Lemony alone.

But they’re still very involved with VFD so they ask Lemony if he can watch over Lilac and Violet, with the same letter, same meeting place, same expectation.

Life on the run gets in the way so Lilac and Violet end up in Lemony’s ‘custody’ like Violet does in MLC.

With Beatrice and Bertrand:

Their first children are twin boys (around two years after Violet’s birth). Nick Liam and Klaus Louis. Nick is thirteen minutes older than Klaus. (Klaus eventually gets taller than Nick obviously). At this point in time, they are devastated that they lost their two daughters and Lemony, so they try to defect from VFD with little to no success (so they settle for barely participating in it because they blame VFD for them losing their daughters and their would-be husband.)

Years later they have Solitude Theodora much to both boys disappointment (but mainly Klaus’ because Nick teases him about being the middle child).

By the time Sunny is born, Nick is besties with Solitude and Klaus is still very unhappy about having more siblings. But soon becomes besties with Sunny after six weeks.

Background and BAD BEGINNING:

Beatrice and Bertrand would send all four of their children to the beach that dreadful day. They had made BOTH Nick and Klaus promise to take care of their younger sisters (B&B also privately talked to Nick and explained to him that since he is the older twin, he needs to watch over Klaus as well because Klaus is babey.)

So Lemony is raising two daughters, which is not easy since they’re only 11 months apart. So they’re always bickering. Both girls have lockets with a picture of their mother and their sister in the locket. Both Lilac and Violet cherish their father and even though they fight relentlessly, they are each other ride and die. Lemony made the same mistake as Beatrice and when Lilac was around 5 and Violet was 4, he asked Lilac to promise him that she will always look over Violet no matter what. Lilac promised without delay because she loves being the eldest.

Lilac looks more like Lemony than Violet does. Violet looks more like Beatrice. Lilac has Beatrice’s smile, while Violet has Lemony’s eyes. People mistake them for twins all the time though. Which annoys both girls.

Violet is the one who begins to feel suspicious of Lemony and Lilac tells her that she’s overthinking it. Violet wants to get to the bottom of it. Both girls desperately want to meet their mother.

The four Baudelaires take a liking to Strauss and an immediate dislike towards Poe and Olaf. Cause fuck Poe and Olaf. NICK is the one who has the breakdown about the one bed and offers it to Klaus, who offers it to the girls. Klaus is the one who tells Nick that his breakdown is freaking Soli and Sunny out, to which makes Nick calm down. Nick is hell-bent on figuring out the mystery of the fire while Klaus is still the one who holds on to the spyglass because he fears Nick will lose it. BOTH Soli and Sunny cuss out Olaf and bite him, relentlessly. Although Soli is still a herpetologist in training.

Li and Vi make an invention together, they both have that soft moment in the taxi explaining that they don’t hate Beatrice they understand her reasonings. Lemony desperately wants to help their brothers and sisters. Keeps the secret from both of them.

Soli suggests poisoning Olaf which Nick is totally down to do, so is Sunny. Klaus is like you guys...that’s murder and Nick straight up would be like so? you’re outnumbered. But they can’t find any poison so they make pasta puttanesca. Olaf still grabs Sunny and lifts her too high up, which results in Nick grabbing Soli and holding her tight. Klaus, on the other hand, is now down for murdering when he hears his baby sister’s cries and remembers the promise he made. KLAUS is the one who talks back to Olaf resulting in him getting slapped. But instead of Sunny biting his hand, Nick puts Soli and Sunny in a corner near Klaus and walks up to Olaf CASUALLY and PUNCHES HIM STRAIGHT IN THE FACE. “DON’T HIT MY BROTHER YOU FUCK!”  this results in Nick getting his ass kicked by Olaf until Klaus tries to stop him but Fernald is the one who stops him. The next morning, Olaf still demands an apology. All four kids tell him to fuck off, resulting in him lifting Nick (who’s holding Soli) and lifting Klaus (who’s holding Sunny) by their necks towards the wall. Realizing that he doesn’t have an extra hand to do anything he waits til the boys are slightly purple before releasing their necks, causing the boys to fall and drop their sisters. (their sisters know they didn’t do that on purpose).  Nick is the one who hears Olaf’s dumb train plan and explains to Olaf that he is a dumb shit cause he won't get shit if the four Baudelaires die.

They go to Poe, this time with Klaus’ cheek bruised, Nick, having multiple bruises on his legs and arms (which he willingly shows to Poe), They even show the small bruises on their necks from when Olaf was choking them, Poe still claims it’s loco parentis. Which causes Nick to go ballistic and cussing Poe out as Klaus drags him out (with Soli carrying Sunny the best she can). Soli and Sunny MAKE NIck and Klaus tell Strauss, who simply talks to Olaf. which doesn’t do shit for the kids.

Lemony does all his usual shit with VFD, Jacqueline, Gustav, and Larry. (none of this changes really except he’s keeping two daughters a secret).

Nick is the one who stays up all night with a book but doesn’t tell Klaus because he doesn’t want Klaus to worry. He confronts Olaf explaining how Nick was right and Olaf would get shit. Olaf tells him to go tell his siblings, Nick wakes up Klaus but he can’t seem to find Soli OR Sunny.

Olaf tells the boys that if they don’t become good obedient little boys, he will drop both toddler Soli and infant Sunny from the tower room. He tells the boys that good news, if they mess up once, at least they have another sister. Olaf explains that he’ll have them choose who he drops first if they piss him off. Both boys want Olaf dead. Nick feels defeated and blames himself while Klaus is not giving up just yet.

Chapter 8 is still Klaus’ chapter where Olaf tortures him. Klaus still gives blankets to both his sisters while Nick is sleeping, he tries to save his sisters but he is caught. Olaf does not drop either sister because he rather hurt Klaus. Klaus tries to scream to get Nick to help him but Olaf keeps his hand over the boy's mouth. When he’s done, Klaus goes upstairs, he is still given the first aid kit, but he has NICK there to help him. He tries to do it himself but he wakes up Nick by crying and Nick wants to MURDER Olaf for sure at this point. Nick does the best he can while he is literally hating himself for letting this happen.

Lemony tries to save the kids with his CPS disguise, to no avail. Because Olaf is holding both girls and the boys know if they say anything its over.

violet starts the kitchen fire and when Lilac’s trying to fix it, it gets worse, both girls cry as Lemony holds them. They’re blaming each other but he tells them he does not give a shit because his purple lemons are fine. (also lilac also calls him Lemon Man or Mr. Lemons, although Violet is the one who started the nickname when she was a toddler). When Lemony leaves abruptly, Violet tries to convince Lilac that something weird is happening. Lilac tells her that she’s bored and she’s just looking for troubling shit. Violet ignores her and continues questioning their father.

Nick and Klaus are under constant watch, although Nick is super protective of Klaus. when the police are at the door, Olaf grabs Nick and throws him against the wall and threatens to kill him. Klaus kicks Olaf in the groin as they race to the tower room to save their sisters. Olaf grabs Nick’s ankles and Klaus grabs Nick ignoring Nick when he stells Klaus to get the girls. Olaf promises to return.

Klaus makes Nick promise not to tell the girls, Poe or the authorities what Olaf did to him, Nick is reluctant at first but agrees once Klaus tells him that he’d prefer if Nick was the only one who knew. this makes Nick feel validated as an older brother.

REPTILE ROOM:

Nick and Klaus are worried about Uncle Monty, while Soli is excited. Nick is the idiot who asks what kind of scientist Monty is which Soli responds Snakes! Dummy! Sunny still corrects Poe about what the road smells like. CAuse she’s a mini chef in training.

Monty is sweet and naive like he is in book, movie, show, and MLC. Both boys tell him that he can’t get the fortune until their 18, Monty responds with not giving a fuck about the damn fortune. both soli and Sunny are rude to Poe because EVERYONE SHOULD BE.

The boys beg Monty to allow them to all sleep in one room. Monty doesn’t understand why they wanna be 4 to a room but he allows it. he has enough things for each child.

When Lemony has his first nightmare, Lilac is the one who hears him. She questions him. He lies to her stating that he had a bad dream about someone taking his girls. Lilac believes him but only partially. Violet wakes up demanding to hear all about their mother. The girls fall asleep with putting their heads on the other’s shoulders as Lemony rambles on about Beatrice.

Nick wants to kill Monty for 10 seconds when he believes that Ink is deadly and bit Sunny. Soli, on the other hand, starts laughing as Sunny is bitten and even tells the snake “my turn!” The snake bites her, nearly causing Klaus to faint until Monty explains that Soli’s assumption is correct. The snake is harmless.

Klaus has a nightmare that night, which wakes all his siblings up. Soli and Sunny ask Nick wondering what’s wrong with Klaus. Nick lies and wakes his brother up. Monty offers tea to Klaus and Klaus only agrees if Nick can come with. After this, both boys warm up to Monty.

Violet begins her investigation, with Lilac saying count me out. Violet makes her promise, not to tattletale, which Lilac only agrees to because Violet was threatening her coffee machine. Violet keeps offering to let Lilac help but Lilac swears she wants nothing to do with it. violet reads the contents of the drawer aloud which piques Li’s interest but Lilac doesn’t like snooping. When Violet is nearly caught by Lemony, Lilac stops this from happening sneaking a smile to Violet that she’s in. Because she catches her dad in a lie.

Klaus and Nick see that the maze in Monty’s backyard relates to Olaf just as Olaf arrives. Nick is the one who tries to slam the door in Olaf’s face, but he pulls out a knife. He steps in front of his three siblings. (handing Soli to Klaus). Olaf pokes him with a knife telling him that “if Nick doesn’t behave, it’ll be HIS turn). The girls don’t understand what this means, but Klaus and Nick sure do.

Monty asks Klaus to take the canoe off the jeep with Olaf, Nick tries to tell Monty but Olaf is threatening Klaus with a knife.

Violet eavesdrops on their father, Lemony leaves and Violet explains that she’s going to follow him. Lilac, acting on her promise, is like NO you’re not. Violet starts disguising herself. Lilac helps her and disguises herself because she refuses to let her sister go alone. The girls are both mimes because Violet is like mimes and Lilac is like what? Their disguise names are Anna (Emily Browning’s character in Uninvited) and Rebecca (Malina Weissman’s character in 9 Lives). They’re both crept on by Stephano. Lilac tries to watch the movie and understand it as Violet is watching their father.

After the movie, Olaf grabs Soli from Nick and tells the other three no funny business as he tries to kidnap them. Monty reappears, they all go home. Monty rips up the idiot’s ticket, Klaus and Nick are carrying the lamp upstairs and Klaus still tells Olaf about the ripped ticket. even though Nick was yelling at him to STFU.

Nick and Klaus discover Monty’s body. Olaf has Sunny in one suitcase and Soli in one of those wheeled suitcases. When he stabs the suitcase that doesn’t have either sister, Nick screams in anger and he's the one thrown into the jeep. Klaus is blaming himself for Monty’s death.

Nick and Klaus are confused as to who Kronk is and what he wants. Sunny still has the idea of jumping out the window. Nick is totally down for it and he and Soli go first. They get down perfectly. Klaus and Sunny still fall because Klaus has panic attack. Kronk helps the kids back in the reptile room. The boys research, Klaus still sees how Monty had bought books about how to help kids with PTSD. Klaus starts crying, Soli and sunny look for Ink. When the kids are ushered away again, Kronk says he needs Nick and Klaus’ help as Soli and Sunny are hiding. Sunny’s teeth are sharper so she still opens the suitcase. Soli is the one who plays with Ink to get Poe to see he’s harmless.

Olaf grabs Nick and decides to take him, but Ink attacks saving the kids. Nick decides to follow Olaf in the maze. Both boys feel defeated again. Nick still wants to solve the mystery surrounding them.

Soli drags Sunny to help her release Ink and a few other reptiles because Soli is a herpetologist.

Lilac and Violet question why their father smells like horseradish but he lies to them bringing them both home their favorite foods.  both beginning to not trust him. Every night when he's asleep the girls start brainstorming ideas about everything just like Violet does in MLC. Lemony’s nightmare consists of Olaf murdering one of his daughters and keeping the other one for the fortune. He wakes up freaking the fuck out. Klaus and Nick question Mr. Poe about Jacquelyn.

WIDE WINDOW:

The Baudelaires are still taken to Josephine’s by Kit via taxi. All four kids can’t stand Josephine. Thinks she’s crazy, rude, and annoying. NICK has the disassociating moment in the fridge because that’s his thing, not Klaus’.

Nick gets angrier at Josephine than Klaus when she won’t answer their fucking questions. He gets the cards, Klaus gets the train. Soli gets the doll and Sunny gets the rattle as gifts. Klaus still thinks they should get Josephine out of the house.

Klaus is the one who bumps into Olaf but NIck is the one who pushes him down when he sneers at Klaus.

Lilac suggests they redial the phone number and see who Lemony is talking about. Both girls go to the bank, they’re arguing about directions so that’s how they meet the Quagmires. Isadora and Lilac immediately are blushing while Quigley and Violet are immediately blushing. Duncan still finds this fucking hilarious. They get to the bank and both girls question Jacky just like in MLC. Lilac says her name is Magenta as Violet still says her name is April Mallahan. Violet wants to punch Lilac for her dumbass disguise name. Jacky tells them to meet somewhere else. The girls accidentally eat peppermints. Both girls have immediate allergic reactions. Lilac can’t speak and Violet is incredibly itchy. Violet and Lilac ask the same questions, get the same answer. When Jacky realizes they aren’t Mallahans. They admit their names are Emily and Malina (instead of staying Magenta and April). Lilac asks Jacky if she’s dating Lemony hoping that her dad isn’t lying about that. but alas, he is. This is where Lilac officially does not trust him. (Violet’s already been there).

Klaus answers the phone hangs up on Olaf. Nick tries to explain to Josephine who Olaf is. When Olaf says the business card line, Klaus corrects him. and he starts backing Klaus into a wall which causes Nick to run up to Olaf and attack which causes Olaf to throw him towards the wide window. he hits it, but it doesn’t break. soli and Sunny try to attack.

Nick and Klaus break into the safe (although Soli has the correct combo). They collect the same documents and photos as Klaus and Sunny do in MLC. Klaus, Soli and Sunny sleep as Nick stays awake watching his siblings sleep. He has Sunny and Soli in his lap and he’s sitting as close to Klaus as possible taking turns rubbing each of their heads whispering happy thoughts to Klaus as he sleeps in hopes of keeping his dreams nice. Nick hears the window break and wakes his sibling. Klaus discovers the note and Nick immediately says: there’s....a hidden message. Klaus thinks he’s crazy (this happens cause in the movie they solve it faster than the show or book).

Klaus tries to explain to Poe what’s happening, even though Nick and the girls were against it entirely. They go to lunch with bastard man. Sunny has the plan to eat peppermints. Nick and Klaus get both the swelled tongue and the itchy hives while Soli gets the swollen tongue and Sunny gets the hives.  Klaus looks for baking soda for him and Sunny as Soli and Nick tackle the note. Nick figures it out rather quickly and then the house begins falling apart. Klaus is the one who flips and dangles out of the window. Soli and Sunny bite on to doorknobs during this. Nick is dodging the fridge and stove at this time. Trying to reach all his siblings. Nick grabs pics from Ike’s study room.

When the house breaks. Soli and Klaus are on the safe side while Sunny and Nick end up on the platform. Klaus starts crying as Nick lays down defeated praying that he and Sunny’s death will be quick. Soli and Sunny start tying their little hair up. When asked what they’re doing, Sunny replies “Vi” aas Soli replies “Li” which confuses their brothers. Sunny and Soli figure out how to get Sunny and Nick back to the Klaus and Soli. The boys think this is crazy but they go along with it. Nick does what he’s told and pushes the anchor, he grabs Sunny as Klaus picks up Soli. The four make it out of the house.

They meet up with Steve Barkin, who Nick and Klaus don’t know if they can trust entirely.  He brings two coats  (one for Klaus and one for Sunny since they took off their coats in the house). He brings a yellow raincoat for Sunny, a blue raincoat for Klaus, a green raincoat for Nick, and an orange raincoat for Soli (he has the red one). Soli and Sunny take a nap as Klaus and NIck have the heart to heart with Steve Barkin who takes them to Curdled Cave.

The flashback where Violet almost got kidnaps, turns into Lilac and Violet almost getting kidnapped. When Violet ran ahead of her father and Lilac, Lilac ran after her (trying to keep her promise to her father even though Lemony was calling for both of them to get back here). When Lilac realizes they can’t find their father (because both girls can’t agree on what his disguise looks like, LILAC bumps into Fiona and both girls giggle. Fernald comes running and checks over Fiona and then when Fiona tells him that Lilac and Violet are lost, he offers to help. Lilac pushes Violet behind her and she asks if he’s a kidnapper. while Violet (behind her sister) says: ask him if he’s a child hurter, too, Li! there’s a difference!” Lilac tells her to shush and that’s there is no difference. He laughs and tries to help them find their father. Widdershit tries to recruit them both because he’s a shithead. Fernald and he argue. and He PICKS UP Violet and demands for Fernald to pick up Lilac. Lilac starts crying begging for her sister back and Fernald takes Violet from Widdershit and when they are distracted. Lilac tells Fiona and Fernald goodbye as she runs dragging Violet with her. They then meet the duo which the man with the beard and no hair grabs LILAC this time and Violet starts SCREAMING STRANGER DANGER as loud as she can until Lilac can struggle out of the man’s grip, again grabbing violet’s hand. The girls huddle together holding each other tightly, crying. Lilac starts calling for her father by his real name as she hears LILAC EMILY!!!! VIOLET MALINA!!! Violet rushes to her father and hugs him but Lilac is nervous. She feels like she failed her dad. He’s holding Vi and waiting for Li to run to him so he can pick up both his girls. Lilac starts crying and throws herself to the ground apologizing. Lemony gently picks her up and reassures her. Once they tell him what happened. He looked to both of them and says: You BOTH did well today. You took care of each other and that’s what counts. He then realizes both sides of VFDs schism tried to kidnap his daughters so they run home and relocated. Lilac thinks it’s all her fault no matter how many times Lemony tells her otherwise.

in the present day: LILAC puts these pieces together as Violet gets angry. Lilac is becoming SADDENED by her father's lies and secrets while Violet is getting MAD. Both girls HATE VFD.

The four Baudelaires try their best to convince Josephine to come back with them. Nick is frustrated but Klaus is like I got this. He does his dramatic eyeglass wiping thing and convinces Josephine. The boys' question Josephine about the photographs, documents, and the book they lost.

Leeches attack. Nick tries to sail as Klaus tries to start a fire. Soli has the idea of using Klaus’ glasses and the spyglass as she puts Sunny on her lap to protect her baby sister. Nick and Klaus get a fire to work and all four kids assume that Steve is saving them.

Captain Sham teases the kids telling him that only ONE can get on his boat. Nick declares that no Baudelaire is getting on his boat. Sham says they’ll change their minds. He then threatens Josephine. Klaus guards Josephine and Josephine pushes passed him making him fall on Nick so she can hand Soli over to Olaf. Klaus and Nick start CUSSING JOSEPHINE OUT as Olaf snickers saying: Soli is the lucky Baudelaire who gets to inherit the fortune for him. Nick jumps on the boat telling him to fuck off and he takes his sister back. Klaus is STILL cussing out Josephine as he hands Sunny over to Nick. Nick puts Soli and Sunny in the corner making sure he is standing between them and Olaf. Klaus is trying to get across on to the boat and Olaf starts making the boat wobble. Nick pleads with Olaf to let Klaus on the boat. Olaf asks Nick if he’ll behave which causes Klaus’ panic attack making him even more wobbly. Nick agrees as he grabs Klaus’ hands and pulls him on the boat holding him close.

Josephine tells Olaf he can do whatever he wants with the kids to where Nick straight out says he hates Josephine while Klaus is trying to get her to realize that she’s their guardian she shouldn’t be doing this. She corrects Olaf, he kills her and mocks the kids who are begging her to jump (even Nick cause Josephine is better than Olaf as a guardian).

When he calls himself their father. Klaus tries to push Olaf off the boat. So he grabs Nick and dips his head on the side of the boat where the leeches AREN’T at because they’re busy eating Josephine. Olaf explains to Klaus if he tries that shit again, Nick is going in the water with Josephine. Klaus nods his head and sits down.

Sunny is the one who bites the peg leg after her siblings pleading doesn’t with Poe doesn’t work. Klaus suggests running away but Nick tells him that that may not be the best idea. When Olaf escapes, Nick hands Soli to Klaus and starts running after his car but Olaf after promising to return speeds up. Nick starts crying. Lemony vows to murder Olaf. During Lemony’s nightmare, while Larry is near, he screams Violet and Lilac’s name.

Lilac and Violet discover more pieces of the puzzle which has them accusing lemony of kidnapping them from their mother. Lilac is in shock and tears repeating: no, no. he wouldn’t. no. While violet is in angry shock. Lilac breaks down and Violet tells her she can’t act like that when he’s around or he’ll know. Violet wants to surprise him. Lilac is mad at her for snooping in the first place and ruining their perfect lives. Violet gets mad saying their lives are LIES not PERFECT. They figure out his combo is LVS for (Lilac Violet Snicket)

MISERABLE MILL:

Nick and Sunny question Poe on why a lumbermill is a good place for 4 children to live. While Klaus and Soli just stare at the pictures that they found. Klaus and Nick are annoyed when Poe won’t let them try to pronounce Sir’s name. Both Soli and Sunny cuss out Poe and Nick and Klaus are annoyed cause they can. Klaus sees the optometry building and says fuck it who cares about our parents' mysteries lets get the fuck out. Nick tells Klaus that he’ll protect them and they have to stay and figure out shit.

They’ll meet Charles and they like him. They meet Sir and Nick is a little shit to Sir. Nick and Klaus argue about the fact that if Sir and Charles are their guardians why should they work for them. Also, after Sunny explains to Klaus that sir and Charles are gay (by saying Duncan), Klaus still doesn’t get it. Nick annoyed at their situation yells. THEY’RE GAY DUMB ASS.

Sir makes 12-year-olds, toddler, and baby work in the lumbermill. They meet Phil, they like him although everyone but Soli thinks he is a tad bit annoying cause he’s an optimist.

Klaus still says Olaf returning is a GOOD thing, Nick looks like he could kill Klaus for simply saying that. Soli is the only one who slightly agrees cause she does not want to work at a lumber mill but she doesn’t say anything seeing Nick and Sunny telling Klaus he is a dumb ass.

Nick is ready to kill the mill workers who say his parents are arsonists. When Soli and sunny are sleeping Klaus and Nick whisper asking each other if the girls are asleep. Klaus tells Nick he wants to run away and Nick tells Klaus that he thinks they should stay and clear their parents' name. Klaus replies with: once again you and I are on the wrong page bro.” which hurts Nick but he doesn’t show it.

Lemony feels tension from Violet and sadness from Lilac. He doesn’t understand why one daughter looks ready to murder and the other looks ready to break down. He asks they don’t answer. He promises to find their mother to hopefully calm them down, both girls slightly believe him.

Klaus and Nick get too stimulated in the lumbermill because of the noise and Klaus starts crying. Nick tells him to man up and just suffer through. Once they clear their parents' names the four off them will take their earnings and run away.

Soli and Sunny do better at debarking than the boys. Nick flips out on the millworkers when he is told they will not be getting paid and their lunch is gum. Klaus now really wants Olaf to return so they can leave since Nick won’t listen to him. They all discuss how shit their lives are nowadays as they try to sneak to the library, they’re caught and Sir demands them to go back to work. Charles uses the lame excuse of Sir having a terrible childhood to justify his actions towards the kids. Nick and Klaus simultaneously replied: we are having a terrible childhood right now. as they carry their sisters back. Klaus tries to tell Nick he assumes that Olaf is the foreman just for Nick to ignore him like violet did in the Netflix show.

the Foreman breaks his glasses so he’d have to go to Orwells. His siblings freak the fuck out when they’re told that the eye-shaped building is where Klaus is going. Klaus tells them he’ll find evidence there.

Klaus’ FIRST optometrist’s appointment goes as written in MLC. Nick is the one who does most of the researching not Sunny. Sunny and Soli find the dictionary and their father’s handwriting (like in Netflix). The three overhear Sir and Charles talking about a cover-up. Klaus does not SEE Olaf but he hears him (like IN MLC). He is then hypnotized.

Nick, Soli, and Sunny go absolutely insane while waiting for Klaus back. Soli decides to sleep the anxiety away, Sunny cooks with Phil and Nick paces back and forth flipping out. Blaming himself like Sunny does in MLC. All three siblings have no fun, but mainly Nick. He is losing it. He feels like he has broken his promise to his parents. He promised to keep Klaus and the girls safe and he failed. He thinks Olaf has Klaus and is torturing him because unlike Sunny, HE KNOWS what Olaf did to Klaus and he HATES himself so much right now. He doesn’t let a sleeping Soli out of his sight and he begs Sunny to check up with him every ten minutes when she is cooking with Phil.

When Klaus comes back, the girls are asleep and Nick thinks Klaus is just messing with him and he tells Klaus that he is not funny at all. Nick tucks Klaus in and puts Sunny and Soli in his bunk because he can see something is wrong with Klaus. He cries himself to sleep as he holds his sisters because he blames himself.

Klaus nearly kills Sunny by nearly dropping her into the lumbermill machine, Nick had to take her from him and Klaus tried to grab Soli from Nick but he told Klaus to back the fuck off.

He’s unhypnotized and his glasses are delivered. Nick does not trust Orwell at all and he’s confused as to why Klaus is so chill, he knows that Klaus hates optometrists. (also with that flashback, Nick continuously teased Klaus about getting glasses but when it came to the appointment, Klaus wanted Bea or Bertrand to sit with him and Bertrand did until the doctor explained that Bertrand was too big to sit with Klaus so Nick VOLUNTEERED to sit with his brother for the appointment. The doctor allowed that and Nick let Klaus sit in his lap to calm him down.).

Klaus causes the accident which nearly got Nick (because when Fernald whispers to him, he tells Klaus to try to use the machine to hurt Nick, the only reason he missed is that Phil pushed Nick out of the way.

Klaus is unhypnotized because of Sir and Nick and the girls are relieved. Sir warns them that they can’t fuck up anymore. Foreman trips Klaus again and Nick tells the foreman that Klaus is not leaving without his siblings. The foreman tells him too bad so Klaus starts walking blindly alone but his siblings reach him and Nick places his hand in Klaus’ and hands him Sunny telling him: it’s just us. Who cares what the foreman says. We got you, bro.

Violet and Lilac find the letter about how Beatrice wanted to share the custody. How Lemony was only supposed to be babysitting his daughters and he shouldn’t have gotten full custody. This BREAKS Lilac who just starts crying and throwing things across the room and Violet tries to calm her but Lilac pushes her away. Violet’s inner core begins to heat up. She was ready to tell off Lemony. Lilac tries to convince her to be rational. let him explain. Lilac refused to believe that Lemony would kidnap them but Violet doesn’t know what is true or not so she’s done.

When Lemony comes home, Vi is sitting down with the evidence while Lilac is leaning against the counter wiping tears from her face. She calmly says: Lemony, we need to talk. When Lemony questions what she just called him, Vi says: sit down, Lemony.

The whole chapter goes as is, but with Lilac’s sad/mad questions and reactions. She’s trying to side with Violet but also sides with her father. She begs Violet to calm down because Violet’s making her too anxious but she is also begging her father to stop lying. When he won't and he tries to leave this is when Lilac loses her cool and both girls at the same time yell that they hate him. Which breaks him. Violet finally breaks down crying and as she falls to the ground, Lilac catches her and they both are an angry crying mess until they eventually fall asleep.

The four Baudelaires debate whether or not to just run away but Klaus explains that he needs his glasses if they’re going to survive on their own. Nick tries to apologize but Klaus tells him it’s not his fault. Sunny, Soli, and Nick once they SEE Shirley starts flipping the fuck out. Nick shoves his sisters into Klaus’ hands (who is confused as fuck cause he can’t see shit, but he’s shaking) and Nick has his fists ready to fight Olaf.

Olaf laughs and Orwell sweetly puts the girls on the couch and tells Nick to sit down and have some cookies as she takes Klaus to get new glasses. Nick interrogates Olaf as he guards his sisters. When Olaf described cutting Klaus until his blood bleeds out like a waterfall, instead of scaring Nick, he INFURIATES Nick and Nick demands his sisters to stay on the couch as he starts walking towards Olaf with MURDER in his eyes. He’s cursing and threatening Olaf as Olaf begins to throw cookies at Nick. (Soli and Sunny are catching the cookies as they laugh cause Olaf is scared of a 12-year-old boy). Olaf runs in the exam room and locks Nick out. Who starts trying to open the door.

Orwell tells Klaus she’s working with Olaf (the scene from MLC goes as is except with the mentions of Nick banging on the door and Klaus can hear Nick pleading to get in. Klaus tries to scream to Nick but Olaf and Orwell won’t let him. Orwell is annoyed through all of this. Klaus has the worst panic attack ever because Olaf is trying to scare him and starts describing what he plans to do with Nick, Soli, Sunny, and Klaus once he has them back in his custody. Klaus gets rehypnotized and Orwell gives Klaus back to his siblings. Nick jumps on Olaf and tries to kill him once he sees Klaus’ grey eyes again. Orwell pulls him off Olaf and tells him to get back home. Nick takes his sisters and his brother and walks out. Cussing both of them out. He realizes that Klaus is hypnotized.

Nick, Soli and Sunny try to research how to unhypnotized Klaus (like in the book) while they leave Klaus in the Baudelaire bunk in the dorm. Sir explains to them one more mess up and Shirley will be their guardian but Nick tries to explain to Sir that Klaus is hypnotized. Charles is also hypnotized cause of course.

Violet and Lilac wake up and question each other on whether or not all that shit happened. Violet tells Lilac that it did and this causes Lilac to feel like shit. Tell ing Violet they have to apologize the next time they see him. Violet is like no! we’re right. Lilac explains that with his enemies out there, one of these days they could lose him without warning so they need to watch what they say. Violet agrees although she still believes they have every right to be mad and Lilac agrees that they do.

Nick, Soli, and Sunny interrupt Olaf’s plan. Nick puts Soli and sunny on the ground to try and push Klaus away from the controls but Olaf orders a hypnotized Klaus to knock Nick out. Which eventually he does. (yes, Olaf would do that if this was 6B MLC).

Soli and Sunny try to figure out the word that will unhypnotize Klaus as Soli shouts fire to unhypnotize the rest of th mill workers when Fernald uses it to unhypnotize Charles by accident. Sunny tries to free Charles and Orwell starts sword fighting with BOTH Baudelaire babies as both girls try to say the word (Soli is almost able to say it but she still can’t.) Orwell demands Klaus to not listen to his sisters since they’re saying lucky and demanding him to stop from killing Charles.

Sunny continues to sword fight as Soli sees a green smoke, Sir, she tries getting who she believes is Sir to say ‘inordinate’. Lemony does. Lemony checks on Nick, who is slowly waking up. When he’s doing this, his smoke clears. Allowing the Baudelaires and Olaf to see his face (the same scene happens except) Olaf grabs Nick and Klaus and demands to know which kid is Lemony’s. Lemony explains that their twins and their both Bertrands. Nick, not thinking, begins correcting Lemony about how twins can be from different fathers until Klaus tells him to shut the fuck up. Olaf asks him which boy is his...Lemony tries to explain to Olaf that neither child is his. Olaf then questions Lemony about Soli and Sunny who are hiding behind Lemony’s legs begging Lemony to save their brothers.  Olaf keeps looking from Nick and Klaus and finally, he looks at Klaus and says: it’s your lucky day, four eyes. You look more like Bertrand... and he throws Klaus to the ground as he glares at Nick. he says: But you....you don’t look like Klaus or Bertrand. But yet your his twin... Nick starts pleading with Olaf that Bertrand is his father and he doesn’t know this man. Lemony is also pleading with Olaf explaining that NIck looks like Beatrice but Olaf isn’t listening. He is slowly moving closer to the giant saw with every intention to throw Nick into the saw. The three younger Baudelaires plead with Olaf, all of them sacrificing themselves for Nick. Olaf calls Nick, Nicholas Snicket and Nick and Lemony both yell that he’s not a Snicket. Before Olaf has a chance to throw Nick into the saw, Olaf is thrown to the ground by Klaus who jumped on Olaf and Nick. Olaf wrestles Klaus off of him as Nick gets to his feet. The Baudeboys hide behind Lemony as Olaf has  a fucking meltdown. The lumber mill workers begin to break in as the real Sir comes out of nowhere. Lemony apologizes quickly and leaves the kids as Olaf vows to kill him and then as Olaf escapes he promises the Baudelaires he’ll be back but he calls out to Nick saying: Especially YOU dear Nicholas.

Nick thanks Klaus for saving him and they let the millworkers attack Sir. Sir tells them they’re out. Nick, Klaus, Soli, and Sunny are okay with that. Nick tells his siblings to sleep as he waits up and watches.

EPILOGUE:

Klaus and Nick don’t know what to do about helping Soli and Sunny change. They don’t like the idea of Soli being the protector (which she suggests), Isadora pops up and offers to help. Nick and Klaus aren’t the happiest about this idea but what can they do. Isadora escorts the young girls to the girls' bathroom and asks the boys to tell her brother to hurry up.

NIck and Klaus change. Nick can sort of tie a tie (better than Klaus and Duncan).

When Klaus references Peter Pan, Nick mocks him but Duncan explains that he thought it was cute because he loves Peter Pan too. Klaus and Duncan are cutesy and Nick is just smirking like an evil big brother. He keeps making sly comments to Klaus about Duncan ESPECIALLY when Duncan is tying Klaus’ tie. Klaus is dying of embarrassment and Nick is having the time of his life. Isadora sees this and she has the same reaction as Nick. Nick even says to her: you and I are going to become good friends.

Lemony rushes home, Jacky is worried about ‘Emily’ and “Malina’ and makes Violet and Lilac go ahead of him. Both refuse and demand answers. He looks to Lilac and says remember your promise which makes Lilac break. She begs him to go with them. He hands Lilac his wallet and looks at Violet and says: I need you to promise to look out for Lilac...and not give her too much trouble. This causes both girls to break and they each hug him separately and then hug him together. EVERYTHING THAT HE SAYS TO VIOLET HE SAYS TO BOTH OF THEM. all of that cutesy soft angsty shit he says to both.

Violet and Lilac have to drag each other to the store. They wait, the shopkeeper keeps talking to them in code. They see the firetrucks and run. When Lilac hears a voice, she grabs Violet and they hide behind a dumpster and hear Olaf (they don’t know it is him yet of course). Violet and Lilac build a grappling hook together. Lilac breaks the window and Violet breaks the door. They both go to save their father. The same scene just add Lilac. Both girls are begging the other to stay close. Lilac falls to the ground first because she can’t breathe, Violet begs her to not die on her too. Both girls are desperately searching for their father when the building shakes, Violet refuses to leave but Lilac begs her that they need to leave. They need to keep the promise. They have to keep their promise and keep each other safe. both girls fall to the ground and they both think they’re dying. So Jacquelyn and Larry burst in and save them. Larry grabbing Violet and Jacquelyn grabbing Lilac. (scene follows, they blame themselves they hate themselves. they watch the building collapse and beg to not be indicted into VFD. Lilac says if they have to indict someone make it her just leave Violet alone. Jacky asks if they’d be comfortable staying with her for a night and Larry and Jacky take the girls to Jacky's apartment.

link to my fic: Misery Loves Company part 1:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20307649/chapters/48143287

link to Connie’s Six Baudelaires part 1:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18371576/chapters/43501190